Lives in Brick and Stone

The Beast

Home is where the heart is. Who thought of bullshit like that? Ain’t me, that;s for damn sure. I’m sure it was some jackass bastard that wanted to make a quick buck selling chinscy crap to whatever sappy dumbass fucker that came along to buy it. Bet the slapped it on a wooden plank to hang over the fireplace right under the “bless this house” rock, or whatever else cheap ass crap normal people buy to make their nice houses look even nicer than before. Bet they believe it too. But they believe in all that cutesy fucking shit. Bet it makes them feel good about themselves and their boring normal stupid pointless ass lives. Not me. Never me. I’ll never believe in any of that fucking cheesy touchy feely feel good crap. It’s all a bunch of bullshit anyway. It’s all there because that bullshit makes pathetic people feel better about their pathetic little lives. I don’t need shit like that. What I got is nothing no one can ever market or ruin.

To me, home ain’t nothing nice or good or anything at all like that. To me, home is just a place. It’s just a building. It’s got calls and a ceiling and a floor. It ain’t a place for getting in touch with feelings and emotions and crap like that. It’s not even a place to bring people to that don’t know me well. It’s not even a real great building. It’s just like the rest of the crap around here. Ain’t even nothing to really write about. Because who’s want to talk about places like mine. It ain’t a nice place at all. It’s got a floor, but it’s uneven an it’s been eated away at by all kinds of pests. Rants and vermin like that. Got shitting ceilings too. I just have to look up and I see the fucking water stains from what ever jackass lives above me. Don’t really know what it is up there. Don’t really want to know. I don’t give a flying fuck what the mother fuckers who live in the apartment do. And it’s better this way. It’s better cause they don’t give a shit what I do neither. And that suits me just fine.

It pisses me off a little that I have to pay money to live in a shit hole like this. But it’s a lot better than the other places I’ve been. Shit, anything’s better than prison. It’s better than the streets. Not that the streets are nothing I’m afraid of. I ain’t never going to be afraid of the streets. That’s cause they were my home even for this shit hole was my home. I fucking own the streets. Everyone fucking knows it. From the subway terminal to the start of the main highway, these streets are mine. I fought hard to keep them. I ain’t going to let no fucking bastard take it from me. They’ve tried. How they’ve tried.

They’ve been trying for years. Even before I was old enough to ride. Back then, I lived in a hell hole just like this one. Ain’t never had no easy life. I ain’t got nice time like normal people. I ain’t never got to go to a nice school and I ain’t never had no mom and dad to give me nice things and spend all kinds of money. Yeah…I did have a mom and a dad. I wasn’t fucking hatched, even if the bikers out there that named me “The Beast” think I am. I might be fucking monster, but I ain’t some creature spawned from hell. Just close to it.

It was easy for me too. I was always bigger than everyone. I was always a fucking monster. The big stupid bastard that people could fool into beating the smaller kids up for their lunch money. But I showed those fuckers too. I ain’t no one to push around. Ain’t no on eon the world can tell me what to do. I ain’t a dog to answer to a snap of the fingers and so I beat up the smaller kids and then I kick the shit out of the guys what send me to do it…on principle.

We had all kinds of gang shit all over the place. Fuck. Half the school I went to didn’t make it past junior high. We either died or we just fucking dropped out cause we had bigger and better shit to do that ain’t had nothing to do with book smarts and diplomas and fucking shit like that. You don’t need a fucking education if you’re just going to end up hocking stolen good or turning Yakuza or joining the gangs. Aint’ a one of us that I can name stayed with their parents longer than they had to. Cause the parents, they just don’t care. They gave up on our asses…cause they gave up on themselves. Sides, it ain’t like they could fucking control me. I’m my own man. I do what I want. I do what I want when I want and god help the stupid fucking bastards that get in my way.

And like most of us boys from my side of the block…I’ve been to juvinile detention more times than I could count. That’s’ how I got into motorbikes anyways. Cause there was this guy in juvie with me. He was fucking psychotic. I loved him like a fucking brother. He was so serious and he was smart. A fucking genius. We’d finish beating the shit out of people at the center and sometimes, we’d just beat the shit outta each other cause no one else was as good of a fight as us. Fuck but Fuji Syuusuke was a hell of a lot of fun. And he’s the one that brought me into the streets to be his general.

We met again on the outside. I was curbs toping some stupid punk ass bitch that had tried to lift my wallet. I ain’t had nothing in it, but I ain’t going to allow no fucking pickpocket take my shit, broke as fuck or not. So I was teaching a lesson and Syuusuke saw me.

“Well, what the fuck do you know…They let The Beast out of his cage. Lock up your little brothers…” We talked after and in the end, he got me to steal a bike. I ain’t fucking never rode before. It felt so fucking free. Like never before. I stole the bike and he brought me into his gang. It was small, but it was a strong gang. Our turf was small too. But it was ours and we were the badest bad asses to ever drive down the roads. He drove hard. We fought hard. We did everything hard. We even fucked hard.

Not just whatever bimbo we found to double team…There were days when it was just Syuusuke and me. We’d lift some of the good stuff from a liquor store. We’d get to fucking drunk that we didn’t even know what was what. Didn’t matter what he was smaller than me. He’d get me fucking blitzed and then the fucker would bend me over and go to town. He’d shove me against a wall or punch me in the back of the fucking head until I bent over my bike. It fucking hurt sometimes and sometimes he’d make it feel damn good. And sometimes… Sometimes when he’d get into some really good shit…when he’d get stoned or fucked up in the head and he’d let me fuck him.

But when we fucked, and even after, he’d look at my back and say shit about how empty it was. Guess he liked ink. Guess it turned him on. Cause next thing I know, he was dragging me to meet an old friend of his. I didn’t know he was into kids like that. But I could tell, he fucked that kid too. Just by the way they acted together. It pissed me off, but it’s not like he was mine or anything. We were just partners on the road. Fellow warriors of the streets or some such shit like that. But he introduced me to Dan. Cute little Dan. The mother fucker with the kid’s body and the angel face.

That kid. Fucking psychotic. He ran over to me all smiles and cuteness. Then the little fucker ripped my shirt off and looked at my fucking back. Started touching me too. All over my fucking back. Started purring and making all kinds of sounds normal people didn’t fucking make. Said shit like “Such a pretty canvas.” Didn’t know what the fuck he was talking about. Said other shit too, about how he loved the big ones. Cause he loved making the big ones scream pretty for him. Little sadist. Little shit put me in a lot of fucking pain over the years. A lot of fucking pain. Because god help me… After he started, I got fucking addicted to it. To the smell of ink and my own blood.

He started simple like. With a shoulder. But that grew and grew and grew. By the time the fucker was done with me, he’d inked me all over. He gave me a full back. He’s a fucking artist, that Dan. Even if he does get off on putting people in pain. But a fucking artist none the less. He makes torture look pretty and now, I’ve got a back and two sleeve and I’ve been fucking thinking about something else. All cause that fucker of a boss wanted to see me inked for him.

It was that same smug, smart mother fucker that made me get my crap ass apartment. Fucking Syuusuke wanted a fucking home. A place to call his damn owe. I guess just squatting in abandoned buildings and fucking me in alleys just wasn’t doing it for him anymore. The little fucker wanted to go straight and play house with me. Fucker was going soft. That or he was trying to catch the eye of the yak. Always trying to get stronger. Find better people. Smart ass bastard…wanted to rent an apartment. So fuck…I can’t ever say no to him. Not from when we were in detention together. So, I went and got this shit hole for us. For the boss and for me and for the rest of the boys. Ain’t needed much really. Just that floor and roof and walls. Didn’t even need fucking furniture. We could just sleep on the fucking floors and ain’t needing food neither. We could damn well just lift it. World was ours.

It was Syuusuke that took me to the chop shop the first time. He didn’t go in of course. He just fucking waited down the road. Said he needed some parts I ain’t never heard of before. I was stealing bikes and other shit like that. I wasn’t even going to try and fucking make one. But the fucker made me go for him. And I went. First time I met Fuji Yuuta. don’t know if there’s any relation between them. It’s a fucking normal name and all. I could flip open a phone directory and find a bunch of Fuji’s that ain’t got nothing to do with punk ass bikers like Syuusuke and me.

I fucking liked that shop though. Didn’t like the asses that worked there. Well, actually, I did like one of the fucking asses that worked there. The fucking grease monkey what owned the place had a damn fine ass in that oily jump suit. But I didn’t give a fuck about that. I had to get some shit for Syuusuke. I got it but soon enough I was coming back. And just kept on coming. By myself. I even fucking started to build my own fucking bike. After all, the shit I stole, it just wasn’t me. It was too fucking small for me, Didn’t have enough power for me. If I was going to be his right hand man…his strong arm, I needed a fucking bike that said so. And I’d be a fucking priest before I ever went out and stole something equally shitty as before.

So I started coming to the shop more and more often. The fucking grease monkey put a god damned swear jar into his shop. Damn fucker… That’s what I had though at the time. The mother fucker had the gall to tell me I was swearing too fucking munch. And he was fucking charging ME for it. I might have put another fucking scar on his face if that big Brazilian bastard hadn’t been there with that detailer. The one that’s more psychotic that Dan. But for the damn parts he needed, he’d fucking pay. And keep on fucking paying that pretty, sexy grease monkey his swear money. Sides, it wasn’t like I gave a fuck what Yuuta thought about me. Not when I got to go back to a different shit hole and play with Syuusuke.

That fucker…That mother fucker. Always reaching too far and taking too big of a bite. He was supposed to be the fucking genius of all of us. But even the dumbest fucker, like me, would never think of doing the shit he did. No one. Not even me. I’m not so fucking stupid as to purposely dick around the yakuza. Least not then. Cause then, I had something to fucking live for. I had to live for that smart ass bastard. Cause if I died, he’d lose a good fighter and a good right hand man. He’d lose a fuck buddy and he’s lose the best, baddest ass biker who had ever driven the mean streets. So I had to live cause the dumb ass needed me. But he always did over reach and I told him it was a bad plan. A terrible, awful plan. A stupid ass plan. People did not jack over the Hirakoba dynasty. And they don’t do it and live.

And because I could never tell that fucker “no this is a bad fucking idea”, I just went as fucking back up. Cause if we’re going to get in on their stuff their money, then I’ll be fucked if I’m going to let the boss do it all by himself. They knew we was coming. Someone must have ratted on us. Syuusuke and me…cause they was waiting. All of them. We were fucked before we even dismounted the bikes. There’s a rule that says that only stupid bastards take a knife to a gunfight or something like that. Hell if I know if that’s right. And you know what, I don’t fucking care. Cause metal pipes and fucking muscle and even being a “Beast” ain’t going to do jack shit against a bunch of mother fuckers with guns.

They lit us up. I managed to drag Syuusuke the fuck out of there. Got shot a few times myself. Those fuckers are bad fucking shots. I’m not a small fucking target. But damn…They missed me enough to count. But they didn’t miss him. I dragged him away and that night, the dumb bastard died. The fucker…my god damn boss…the brains of the operation… the mother fucker died on me. And he left me the gang. Said it was mine now and that I was smart. Said I was smarter and badder than him.

“Don’t cry, you stupid fucker… I ain’t nothing to cry over…” He had said to me.

“I ain’t crying you bastard. That’s fucking blood running down my goddamned face. Now such the fuck up and keep on living.” He didn’t shut the fuck up, then again, he never did what I told him…He did what he wanted and I could never tell that bastard no. I could never refuse him. So when the fucker decided to die, then I had to let him die. And I guess I sort of died with him.

I just didn’t fucking want to live anymore. I started doing a lot of crazy fucking shit. Earned myself quite a reputation that way. Not a good one, which was even better. Took over the gang. Make it worse than before. Started taking out other gangs. Taking their turf. Took at all the way to that little chop shop. Don’t know why. Guess it’s because the bike I build ended up being a total piece of shit and I had to go to that place often to get it fixed. Got to see Yuuta a lot more too. Sometimes, I think I spent more time there than with my own fucking gang members. I got into more fights than on the streets. There’s just something about that fucking Brazilian that gets under my skin. And fuck if I’ll let him treat me like shit. And so what if I looked at his psycho like that. I ain’t got none in a while by that point and I had me a death wish.

I had me a death wish and Yuuta had him a pressure hose. It was fucking cold and it was fucking painful. And I swear to god that the smug, sexy little fucker stared at me like he wanted to fucking eat me. And sometimes, I wanted to eat him. He looks so fucking good what oil and shit over his face. Made me want to force my cock into his pretty mouth and splatter my cum all over it after I made him suck me off. Payback for all the money I’ve dropped in the fucking jar. But fuck if Yuuta was into that sort of shit. I’m just a fucking customer. But I kept coming back, again and again. Like an addict. I was fucking addicted to that smug little fucker. When he fucking yelled at me when I caused too much trouble, it turned me on.

Besides, Yuuta and I shared beer every now and again. Sometimes, I’d jack a ride for him to strip. Always something nice. A present I guess, from his favorite delinquent. But I bring him that and then after, we’d fucking celebrate. I’d go into his office and I’d sit on that tiny fucking couch of his and I’d snag a beer or something from his small little fridge. Never asked to go up stairs. That’s where he lives. Never asked, cause the shop’s his territory. Just like the streets is mine. The sexy fucker knows he had all the fucking power in that place. But still doesn’t stop me from complaining about his beer choices. He’s got shitty taste. So, I started to take it on myself to bring him better beer. He thinks my taste is shitty too, hates my beer. Hates my cigarettes. Hates my street name. Never calls me “The Beast” never calls me “‘Baji”…kept calling me “Big Daddy” and talking dirty to me. And there were days, when I was real horny, that I wanted to grab him in his fucking shop, tear that jump suit off him and fuck him right there, in front of all his employees. Not that desperate though. Cause I don’t wanna have no one to live for. It got me there and I didn’t want that sort of pain again. So I treated him like I treat everyone else.

But the fucker got under my skin…like a rash. It never went away. Even when I was doing stupid shit. Even when I was on the streets fighting. Cause I never managed to fucking die. Not even once. Even with how many other gangs started coming after my ass. The dumb asses. Didn’t know who they were fucking with. Ain’t afraid of dying cause I ain’t got nothing to lose. So I don’t care what the fuck happens to me, and so I take big ass risks. Yuuta called me a stupid reckless bastard more times than I’d like to remember. Not that I let him see me at my worst. But I always come back to that fucking shop sooner or later. And he’s seen me with the bruises and the bandages and when I do, Yuuta always seemed so fucking mad at me. Never got why back then. He’d treat me coldly, sometimes hit the still healing wounds and tell me that I shouldn’t come there looking like that. I’d go to leave and he’d change his tune…make me pay for the jar and start saying those fucking suggestive things again like he was never mad. Never got fuckers like that. I wonder if it’s a trait that comes from sharing a last name with a fucking mountain.

Still, I kept coming back there and then it fucking happened. I realized something I didn’t want to fucking realize and I sort of ghosted for a while. Didn’t come back for a bit. Cause I didn’t want to deal with stupid feeling shit like that. Gave up feelings and shit. Beasts don’t feel. They just do. But there I was. Went to a host club. Picked up this juicy red haired slut there with a fine ass. Made him pretend to be a mechanic. I fucked him hard and I called him Yuuta. I called his Yuuta and I never came so hard in my fucking life. And when I was laying there, having a post fuck smoke, that’s when I realized it and it scared the fuck out of me. I don’t like being scared like that.

Then a bunch of shit went down. Some cop moved in to the apartments and the gang had to move base. Don’t wanna hold court in the same place as a fucking pig. Not just that. Yakuza was closing in on my fucking territory. And the other gangs are doing all this land grab shit. So they could sell it off to the Yakuza bastards. Well, fuck that. I ain’t gonna let those fuckers take my ground from me. Not other bikers. Definitely not no fucking yakuza. Sides, ain’t stupid as I look. I know that the gangs have this thing about me. Those fuckers want to kill me cause I’m the worst of them. They’ll make a name for themselves in they kill me. I’ve even heard about stupid shit that they want to skin me while I’m still fucking alive and display my tattoos as a trophy. Fuck them. I ain’t gonna die that easy, even if I want to. Especially when I don’t want to.

So, I got my ass kicked. And I kicked ass. I left but I don’t think I left any of those stupid bastards breathing. Cause they’d stabbed me and they hit me with a fucking crow bar on the head. And I ended up in fucking Yuuta’s shop. I ended up out there. And he took me inside and he took care of me. We ended up fucking. I fucked him against his deck and he sucked me off and then we fucked again…and then again… I think I lost count how many time I screwed Yuuta that night. I said words I never say to anyone and I said then again a few times during that night. And god help me, but I fucking meant it. And shit if I knew what to do with those feelings.

It was fucking hard for a while. Didn’t know how to handle shit like that. Handle wanting to live again. But Yuuta was a big help. My fucking grease monkey. With his sweet mouth and his hot ass and his sexy piercing. Haven’t been in love since Syuusuke. Even then, I don’t know if I loved the boss or if he and I was just fuck buddies in the end. But I am sure that’s what it is with Yuuta. So I wanted to do things right with him. More or less. So I tried to do the normal fucking boyfriend thing. Dates. Shit like that. Didn’t work out well. I can’t do things like a normal mother fucker. So I take him to a movie. Least I try. Didn’t work out. Got distracted. Instead, I drive him out to an abandoned parking complex and I fuck him there. He’s so fucking sexy like that. Pants down to expose his ass, legs around me, back against the handlebars of my bike. The vibrations of the engine gotten him all hot and ready for action.

I gave up on shit like that. Not when things like normal dates always ended up like that. Can’t even take him to dinner. Little flirt knows just want to say and do to fucking turn me on. Can’t even make it though a full course before I’m dragging him off to the restroom of the bar and sucking him off in the bathroom stall and promising that if he behaves, I’ll give him the main course after dinner…We skip out on dinner and go back to the room above the shop. I love that fucking room. I spend more time there than anywhere. I sleep more in that bed we have sex in than in my own fucking apartment.

He didn’t even know I had an apartment. Guess he thought I fucking lived somewhere but never asked for shit like that. Guess it didn’t matter cause I was always there. So I guess it was a fucking surprise to Yuuta when I finally took him to the apartment. I ain’t got no idea what he thought about it at first. It’s not nice like his apartment above the shop. But his shop makes more case than being a gang leader makes. I’d make a lot more if I went and because Yakuza…which was why I wanted to take him there. Cause I wanted to talk to him without the temptation of a bed to stop me from talking. So I brought him to my little corner of hell and I sat him down on the floor and gave him a beer we talked. We talked about my future and about his. He had the shop, and me, I had jack and nothing to my name but my bike and my rep.

I didn’t tell him about my experience with Yak from before. He don’t need to know nothing about Syuusuke. That was a past he don’t need to know. I don’t want my Yuuta pissed at me cause of that. I don’t want him to think I’m only fucking him cause his name is also Fuji. Cause that ain’t true. I really didn’t even think about the other Fuki anymore. Still, I know he knows how I feel about those suit wearing mother fuckers. I hate them and I want them all to go the fuck away and take their drugs and their guns and their stupid away from my territory. I ain’t just going to give it to him. But I talked to him about it, cause I’d had offers from them. I could drop the bike gang and go to the big time. I’d be some yakuza’s bitch boy. And that just ain’t me. Even if I retired from the gang, Yuuta knew I didn’t want that. And he was cool with that. In fact, he said he rather me not go to that. I’m his Big Daddy and I can keep taking care of him without having to start that sort of shit up. If it ain’t with the gang then I can think of other things. Besides, Yuuta’s shop is good. Yuuta doesn’t need me to cough up ass tons of dough to make him happy. He ain’t a whore like that. Even if sometimes I call him that….Because he liked dirty talk and I’ll be fucked if I’m not a master of the dirty talk.

I think we actually almost managed an entire meeting alone without Yuuta on his back under me. Almost. As usual, one thing led to a fucking nother and I was calling him a whore and a both and my dirt, naughty little grease monkey and we ended up fucking right there on the floor of my apartment. Fell asleep there too, holding Yuuta. Woke up, still holding Yuuta. We had a good morning fuck too. Then we went to a bath house together and he went off to work. And me, I went about collecting money enough to get some real furniture for my fucking empty ass apartment. Cause next time he came over, I wanted to have a better place to take him to bed in. Still, I ended up over at his place more than he went over to mine. Like his place better I think. Cause it’s the place we first met. And cause there are still ghosts of the other Fuji in my place that I’ve yet to burry. But I still got that shit. Started making the apartment become something like a fucking home.

Started looking for Dan again. There was something I’ve been thinking about doing for Yuuta. Cause I’ve only seem to say that sappy shit about love when we’re fucking. But that little shit’s a hard fucking man to find. Don’t know where he went after Syuusuke died. Little sadist just dropped off the face of the fucking plant for all I know. Left some of my tats not finished too. Guess without Syuusuke there, kid didn’t fucking care to play with me anymore. Cause I didn’t give him the enjoyment of letting him see my fucking pain. And cause after my boss died, not even the worst pain bothered me.

Shocked the fuck out of me when I found him. Who would have known? Guess it makes since in a way. After all, I end up falling in love with a fucking mechanic. Makes since that some little sadist might fall for someone too. Where do I find him? At a church. Talking to some young priest with graying hair. Priest looks like he used to be a badass too. And it looked like Dan is fucking hot for the priest. Poor kid. Must have turned into a masochist too, going after someone like that. Can’t get that, kid. Deacon Akutsu ain’t going to fuck you. Not now. Not ever. So, you can show off that tight little ass of yours in those tight little cut offs all you want. You can peek out from under your bangs and show off your own body modifications. Ain’t going to do shit for you. Or maybe not. Dan’s like me. Like us who live in this area. He ain’t going to stop until he gets what he wants. He’d not going to stop until that rough looking priest of his fucks him in the pews in front of the empty eyes of his wooden god child. But Dan, your fucking it just going to have to wait. Cause I’ve got shit I need you to do. And I don’t want you to ink me in your fucking parlor. Cause it’s a special tattoo I want, and I’ll be fucked if anyone I know sees me get it.

So I talk to Dan. He remembers me. He knows his work. I know he used me to make that priest jealous. I’m okay with that. Let the kid be a fucking slut if he wants. After all, I knew better than anyone what a little slut he was. Another thing I won’t ever tell Yuuta about. Syuusuke and I…we’ve double teamed little Dan. I let him hurt me til he got off. Then me and the boss got ours. We took turns with him. That priest is in for a real treat. He sucks cock like a pro and he drinks it down like it’s his favorite tasting the world…the little cum guzzling slut that he is… And he screams for more like a fucking porn star. And his ass is tighter than a virgin girl, even after I got Syuusuke‘s sloppy seconds…but he ain’t my Yuuta. No one can get me off like Yuuta can. He’d better than anyone. Still, I’m not wanting Dan for a quick fuck. If I want that, I’d just go find Yuuta and drag him into the office, work or no work. Still, I think it was that memory of our playtime together that got him to readily agree. Means he hadn’t gotten into Mr. Priest man’s trousers.

There’s a lot to arrange. Dan wants to finish the art he never finished. He won’t do the art I want until he gets to do what he wants. Little brat. He wants to finish up the sleeves he stopped. And I know it’ll hurt. It always hurts. Even when he smiled that innocent angle smile and gets out the wooden needles and the ink and had permanently stained his tiny fingers and purrs “This will hurt” in my ear. And god it hurts. I’d forgotten just how bad it hurt to get my skin penetrated with something like that. It is also amusing to me that though he could bring his newer tattooing needles and though I know he had start of the art equipment, it is not what he uses on me. I am also rather fucking surprised how much further Dan’s art of drown since I last was done by him. Kid is still a fucking artist. And the shit he did to me… Crap they were fucking masterpieces.

It took a while for him to be finished. Took way too fucking long really. He had a lot of stuff to fucking do to finish with my sleeves and he wanted to refresh the back piece. I think the little fucking fucker just wanted to put me into a shit ton of pain for old times sake. He did a lot of good work and I think Yuuta liked it. Cause when he saw the finished shit, he got all turned on. Said something about getting another piercing. Yuuta’s got metal all over his fucking body. He’s got eyebrows and he’s got years. He’s got his tongue done and his lip. Got his chin and his collar bone. Shit, even got his nipples and his bellybutton done. It’s fucking hot, but shit if I know where he’s got fucking room for more metal. Well, I know where he could, but there’s always fucking worry. I could accidentally rip it out if I give him a good hard fucking hand job. And I don’t want to fucking rip metal out of his pretty little cock. Cause I like that part of him. But shit, if he wants to, he can. Cause fuck if I’ll argue. Can’t say no to Yuuta. Can’t never say fucking no to Yuuta and I think it’ll make him even fucking hotter. But it’d be fun to play with. Cause the kinky little mother fucking grease monkey likes that sort of shit. He likes it when I fucking tie him up or when I play with the metal in his fucking nipples. And god damned if that thing in his tongue don’t make me feel so damn good. He does real great shit with that metal on his mouth.

He liked that shit and I was sure he’d really like what I was going to do for him. But damn…Thinks I’m a possessive fucker. All he had to do was walk in on a fucking session between me and Dan and he goes off on me. I guess I deserved it. Cause it looked real fucking bad. I mean, sure I say it and all, and I ain’t never going to screw no one else but him. I fucking love that bastard. I want to be with him forever. Guess maybe the forever might be as long as I fucking can, I mean, shit. Ain’t like people like me live very long. Even though I don’t have a damn death wish no more. I got something to like for now. And holy crap, sometimes that scares me. Cause before I met him, before I got with him, after I lost the boss, I just wanted to fucking die and I did a lot of really dumb ass shit. I asked for death and I didn’t fucking get it. But now that I’ve got Yuuta, I’m being smarter. More fucking careful. Not doing all kinds of stupid shit no more.

I got to be more careful cause I want to be around for Yuuta. I want to grow old with him. So I ain’t doing crazy shit no more. Well, not as crazy as I used to do. I still do a lot of shit no sane person would ever fucking consider. You have to if your like me. If you do the shit I do on my streets to keep them mine. But I ain’t doing the shit that’ll get me put in a hole. Not a prison and not a grave. Cause Yuuta ain’t never going to visit me in prison. He ain’t going to give me visits like that. Cause he ain’t my wife and I don’t think the guards will let me go and fuck my sexy boyfriend while I’m locked up. And I sure as shit that he ain’t going to be fucking happy with me if I up and fucking die on him. I don’t ever want to make him go through what I did when I lost the boss . So I’m careful with fights now. . Cause I love the damn bastard. And he’s already told me once that it scare the shit of him. He told me that the first time we fucked in his office after he patched me up. He said to me “I’m afraid that one day, you won’t come back to me to get patched up.” And I don’t want to upset him. I like my Yuuta best when he’s happy. And I’ll do whatever it takes to keep him that way. Even if I have at play nice more often than I’d like.

And I don’t care what the fuck those bastards on the street say. They can fuck off for all I care. There is no way in fucking hell that I went soft. He ain’t made me weak. Sure, I love the hell out of him. But it ain’t true. Ain’t true at all. There ain’t no mother fucker out there who can tame “‘Baji The Beast”. But yeah, I guess Yuuta comes real close to it. Cause I’d do anything for him. I’d die for him…And I’m sure as hell living for him and I’d fucking kill for him. Someone fucks with my Yuuta and I’ll fucking curb stomp them before they know what hits them. They mess with my grease monkey, they’re going to get a one way trip down the read, chained to the back of my bike. I’d fucking road haul my own gang members if they dared to screw around with him or his shop. Cause he’s fucking mine and his place is like my fucking home. My real home. And I’ll be damned if I’ll let anyone take it from me. Not when I am fucking skilled enough to get it taken away all by my damn self, cause I’m such a stupid fucking bastard/

Yuuta was coming to surprise me for something. Fuck if I know what. Sometimes he does that. I guess he turns the shop over to his boys. I still hate that Brazilian fucker and his psycho bitch boyfriend. But I play real nice cause I know Yuuta likes them. They’re his friends. Yuuta puts up with my boys. He doesn’t take shit from no one. Not even me. And I’ll be damned if I let any of my boys do any shit to ruin his shop. Just like I’d rather fucking die than let some mother fucking yakuza take away his shop. They’ve tried, stupid bastards. Tried to take that shop away. Tried buying it with money. That’s Yuuta’s shop. He fucking owned it forever. He fucking grew up there. Told me once that the first word he read was “Hemi”. He’s strong though and he ain’t going to sell out to no tie wearing mother fucker that comes along.

They came back. Stupid fuckers. I don’t think that Yuuta’s ever seen me really fight. And I sure as hell never seen Yuuta fight and the shit me and Jackal do ain’t really fighting. It’s like brothers, me and him. I think now, he fucking pick on each other cause we’re the only one that can really take each other on. And holy fuck that Ayaka of his is a fucking psycho. They came with force and I don’t think we left a fucker Yakuza alive. And after we was done, I made sure to take the bodies and pile them in front of the place where they do business. A fucking message to the fuckers. This is what happen when you fuck with Yuuta and his fucking shop. They ain’t never come back after that. They don’t dare. Because Yuuta will shoot any fucker that comes there to rob him and he ain’t afraid of no Yakuza. And now, he’d got me. He knows that I’m going to look after him. But after, we all got fucking drunk and we celebrated real good. I think Yuuta is going to get himself a fucking Kama Sutra of some shit like that. Says it might be a lot of fun. God help me, but I like Yuuta’s ideas of fun. But I damned well can’t fucking bend like that.

Still, ain’t that fight that pissed Yuuta off. Was something even worse that that. I was a dumb ass fucker and he caught me at it. It ain’t want it looked like. Cause I know what it looked like. Like I said, he had come over after a day at work. Sometimes, he’ll just let himself in my shit ass apartment and wait there with nothing on, laying there on my bed, ready and raring to go. My hot, sexy little slut. Guess I’ve got him as addicted to my monster cock just like he’s got me addicted to his tight warm ass. Sometimes, I’m already home when he comes by. But I ain’t never got an idea when he’s coming. Cause we keep our own schedules. We do what we want when we want. I ain’t his fucking wife to keep tabs on him, and he ain’t my fucking pet to look after, even if he looks damn sexy in a collar and nothing else.

But he come around when he wants and he’s caught me doing all sorts of things. Used to that. He’d caught me sewing myself up after a fight. He’s cause me jacking off to pictures he’s sent me of himself. Like those. He won’t tell me who took them cause I’m sure he knows I’d kill whatever mother fucker was there snapping pictures of him when he’s like that. He’s caught me doing normal shit too. Cooking or cleaning and playing domestic. He likes playing domestic sometimes too. For a while, we just pretend to be a normal fucking couple and do things like dishes, even if it usually ends up with me pinning him to a counter and doing dishes later. After I’m done with him and he can’t fucking stand no more.

But I had Dan over. He was starting the one thing I’ve been wanting to do for a while. The one I couldn’t fucking do at his shop where everyone can see. Cause I don’t want no one seeing that shit. Too much like that bull shit they’ve been saying about me being tamed. They’re know Yuuta has my fucking balls in a jar on his desk. And then that would be that. No bad ass biker like me would ever get nowhere if everyone thought that their woman owns their ass. Especially if their woman is a man like mine it. So, it was like old times. Like when I was with Syuusuke. I had brought Dan over. He had fucked around for a bit, just talking about shit and old times and his priest. Little fucker it really gone on that deacon. Then we got down to real business. I laid down the new ground rules. Only because he had finished my other art at his parlor. Cause my apartment used to be ground zero for some real fucked up shit. So I told him right away that I wasn’t going to be fucking him. Not even for old times sake. Cause I’ve only got one man now. I got Yuuta and I don’t fucking need no little bitch with an angel’s face and a devil’s lusts.

So, Dan prepared for what was coming. Cause of there I wanted it, I had to take my shirt off like normal. He got me to lay down on my back. He got his needles and his inks and his marker to draw out what I wanted. He likes sitting on me when he works. When he was doing my bad ass back piece, he’s sat on my ass. He sat there and he would wiggle and bounce and have a fucking grand old time of it. He’d torture the fuck out of me and try to make me fucking scream and Syuusuke would watch me and do all sorts of fucking dirty things to keep me distracted. I know how he works and I’m fucking used to it. Besides, I was positive Yuuta ain’t never going to come in at that time of the day. Except that I forgot something real important. I forgot the fucking date. I forgot cause I don’t observe shit like that. Yeah. Cause I’m just a big stupid bastard that forgets my own birthday.

Yuuta came over. Didn’t even know he was coming. Wasn’t even fucking prepared for it. I was just laying there on my back, shirt off. Dan, cute, sexy, sinful little Dan was sitting on me like usual. Just like usual. He’s a fucking little slut…Dan is. He sat there on purpose. I think he wanted a good hard fuck. I think that because he wasn’t getting none from the fucking priest and he wanted to get it from me. I mean, when he came over, he was dressed for it. Wearing the kind of shit that he wore when Syuusuke and I shared his ass. Little bitch don’t look right in shit like that. Leather looks better on Yuuta. Straps and collars and chains look better of Yuuta. He got that fucking green head band of his own. He likes taking it off and putting on his partner before he hurts them. Says it makes them feel the pain more cause they can’t see shit.

Little fucker tried to put it on me too. Just like before. I told him that I wasn’t giving him jack shit. He’d have to get his hot beef injection elsewhere. I guess he was okay with that, cause he stayed to do the job that I wanted him to fucking do. But he still sat on me. Sat right on my hips. His sweet little ass, covered in leather, right against me. Right against my denim covered cock. Started wiggling about his ass. Guess he was trying to turn me on. Guess it’s cause he was turned on himself. Cause, he did what we always did. He learned over me and ran those ink stained fingers over my chest. He tweaked a nipple hard. It fucking hurt. It hurt like a fucking mother fucker. Then he leaned over me more and he pressed his pert little ass against me more as he whispered into my ear. “This…is going to hurt, Baji… A lot.” The little fucker bit me on the ear. Little shit always liked biting me like that. But I’m going to kill him if he leave fucking teeth marks where Yuuta can fucking see it. And leave it to Yuuta to walk in right then.

Leave it to my grease monkey to walk in right when Dan’s doing that fucking shit to me. Leave him to come in just as Dan finishes nibbling on my ear and grinding harder against my jeans. I didn’t even know he was there. Didn’t hear it until he dropped whatever the fuck he was bringing me. And me, I’m a dumb ass. I just turn my head and look at him. Look at the shit he had brought me. Looks like some kind of present. Wrapped all pretty in newspaper and everything. But he’s pissed. He’s more fucking pissed than I’ve ever seen anyone in my life. He looked like he could fucking kill me right there. And fuck… I’m such a stupid fucker. I don’t even think to push Dan away. So there I lay, shirt off, Dan grinding against me like a fucking cat in heat. Dan’s lips still against my ear, trying to tell me how much he’s going to make me hurt. How much he’d going to enjoy making me hurt. I can just feel his smirk. I think Dan knows Yuuta is there. I think Dan wants me to do him. Maybe he wants Yuuta to do him too. But Yuuta ain’t into that shit. Fuck no. Yuuta might be a kinky son of a bitch, but he ain’t into orgies and threesomes and real perverse shit like that. And even if he was, never with no one that little like fucking jail bait.

His hands are shaking and I swear to god if he had his damn gun with him, he’d have capped my ass and Dan’s ass right there. He doesn’t and instead, he’s saying shit that ain’t true. Calling me a fucking pedophile. I guess he thinks I’m cheating on him or something. It’s not like I ain’t got no appetite. Fuck. I’m a horny, hungry guy. But Yuuta’s the only one after Syuusuke that can fill that need of mine. I ain’t never fucking anyone else but him. But I know what it looks like and I know how much problems we had to get to where we was now. Cause he had wanted my big cock for so long and when I finally gave into him and gave it to him, I guess he owned it or some shit like that. Cause I own his ass. Ain’t no one else can burry their junk in there but me. But with him standing there, looking ready to kill, and cute little Dan looking ready to get the ride of his life, it ain’t nothing I can do. Nothing I can say but the truth and fuck, it sounds like total bull shit. Even though I know the fucking truth, if I was the one to see that, I wouldn’t fucking believe me. I’d think I was a cheating horny pedophile bastard. Then again, I wouldn’t just fucking stand there and yell at me. I would have pulled the mother fucker trying to fuck Yuuta right off of him and beat the fuck out of the bastard until ain’t no one in the world could recognize him anymore. Then I’d fucking kill the fucker.

“It ain’t what you think.” Why the fuck did I say that sort of thing. That sort of shit is that whipped boyfriend say to their girl when they’re caught doing shit they ain’t supposed to be doing. And I ain’t doing nothing wrong. I’m just letting my tattoo artist do his fucking job. Ain’t my fault that he’s a fucking sadist and that we’ve had a history together before Yuuta came along. It ain’t like out cloths was off. It ain’t like he walked in on me fucking Dan. Pounding in and out of his tight little ass. Sides, I’m going this shit for Yuuta. I’m suffering this shit as a surprise to Yuuta. Well, surprise, fucking surprise. Last time I do shit like that, cause when I do, it back fires and I get a very pissed off lover.

I finally pushed Dan off and pulled my shirt on so the surprise wouldn’t be fucking ruined. And Yuuta is glaring death at Dan. Dan who doesn’t fucking know nothing but that Yuuta’s ruined his fun. But he ain’t the type to go after Dan. No. He stormed up to me. Bastard grease monkey is stronger than he fucking looks. He don’t look all that fucking strong. He’s strong but he ain’t no brick shit house like me. Then again, I’m special like that. I’m huge and all fucking muscle. He hides his muscle. But he’d strong enough to tear a fucking car apart. He lifts engines out of fucking cars. He fucking can take the pounding I can give him. He showed me just how fucking strong he was. My Yuuta was so angry at me he fucking hit me. Punched me as hard as he possibly could.

I’ve fucking taken crowbars against the fucking head. I’ve gotten into motorcycle wrecks that normal bastards never walk away from without wearing any stupid shit like helmets or protective gear like the pussies wear. I’ve gotten into a shit tons of fights in my life and I can fucking take a hit. Yuuta’s always said I had the hardest fucking head of any asshole he knew. But he punched me as hard as he could and I swear to fuck that Yuuta almost knocked my fucking head off. Didn’t even realize that he had fucking knocked me onto my ass until I was sitting back up with a splitting fucking headache. Then the bastard hit me again. Really gave me a fucking beating. My dumb ass probably looked like some of the poor pathetic bastards I’ve curb stomped. And Dan…I’m sure Dan got off just watching Yuuta beat the shit out of me like that.

When he was finished and my ears wouldn’t stop fucking ringing, he fucking left. Just stormed the fuck out. He stopped in the door and called me a fucking bastard and told me that I had better never fucking come back to the fucking chop shop. Cause if I did, he was going to fucking kill me. I think…I think he was crying when he left. Cause I think he really loved me or something like that. Don’t know why. We ain’t never said it outside of sex. And I ain’t someone you can love. I ain’t a nice person, if you gathered by now. I ain’t someone you take home to meet mama… Unless you want me to dump the food off the table and fuck your mama right in front of your eyes. But Yuuta. He must have really loved me. Seeing that must have broken his fucking heart. And I was a dumb ass bastard for getting into that situation in the first place. For making Dan play nice and be a good little prick.

I guess I was even dumber for fucking avoiding him. I guess I wanted to take that shit to heart. Cause I know I love him too. And thinking that he hates me so much hurt like I’m getting shot over and over again. I’ve fucking been shot a few times, so I fucking know what it feels like. Just like I know what it feels like to have someone try to dig my guts out with a blunt knife. Well, let me tell you. There ain’t nothing in the world more fucking painful than driving my Yuuta’s ship and not being able to come see him. Ain’t no one can fix my ride like him. Ain’t no one that makes my heart beat like him. Ain’t no one I want to play house with but him. But I ain’t going to fucking apologize to him for something I didn’t even do. Cause I ain’t going to come crawling to him. He ain’t got my balls in a jar.
But fuck. I can’t stay away forever. Cause I fucking want him. I fucking in love with that bastard. So, I fucking waited til I was back to my normal ugly mug. I went and found a new fucking tattoo artist. I ain’t going to let Dan nowhere near me, not no more. Not until he gets himself fucked by that deacon of his. But the artist I found to finish his work. That fucker was good too. Not good like Dan. Don’t think anyone’s as good as Dan. But Sengoku does well and he don’t get off on making me hurt about it.

He finished up what Dan started on my chest. Only then did I bother to go back to Yuuta. I ain’t crawling back though. Cause I’m a fucking man. And I ain’t going to let him hate me forever. And I kept fucking tabs on him. Though he thought I was a pedophile, I ain’t nothing like that, and I want to fucking be with him again. Even if I have to fucking sleep on the couch and get my ass fucking kicked a couple more times before he cools down. Cause I know he ain’t the kind to just forgive me that easy. Specially since I didn’t try and go after him right away. But I know that I still got me a chance in hell, cause he aint’ took up with no one else. I guess after me, ain’t no one else that can make him feel like I do. Maybe not. Who knows. I ain’t so full of myself that I believe he ain’t got other offers. He’s fucking sexy as hell and he’s a fucking damn good mechanic and I’d fucking fell my right nut to get him back.

I go and see him at his shop. He fucking ignores me like I ain’t even there. And the fucking Brazilian says I don’t belong there no more. I tell him that he can go and fuck himself, cause I ain’t leaving til I talk to Yuuta. But Yuuta ain’t talking to me. He just keeps going and doing what the fuck he was doing before I came, Like a fucking don’t exist. So I leave. I go to the local liquor store and I get him a peace offering. That shitty beer he like so much. His fucking nasty cigarettes too. Stikes and not Lukies like me. Got him a whole fucking box of them. Last him a fucking week. And then I went back. Fucker still wouldn’t talk to him. Wouldn’t’ even accept my peace offering. Said if I wanted to fucking talk to him, I could do it there. Cause I was a cheating bastard that couldn’t keep a leash on my dick. Bet he thought I’d coward out. Bet he thought I was going to fuck off and leave. Fuck that. I ain’t giving up on him that quick. If he’s ready to listen, I’m ready to talk and I’ll be fucked if I can who hears be say what I want to say. Let the fuckers he works with know how I feel about him. Let the entire fucking world know that Fuju Yuuta’s got ‘Baji the Beast by his short and curlies. Bout time I fucking said it , cause I ain’t going to let this bull shit go on when I can do something to fucking stop it.

So, there in front of fucking god and everyone, I let him have it. I dumped every last penny I had into his fucking swear jar and then I let lose. Told him that what he saw with Dan wasn’t what he thought it was. That Yuuta was the only one I wanted to fuck. I told him that Dan was just my fucking tattoo artist. And that I had a fucking surprise for him. Started to take off my shit. Let him see what I got done. He was fucking speechless again. Jus stood there, with the wrench with his jaw fucking dropped.

Guess he wasn’t’ prepared to see something like that. Shit. Ain’t something I would have done if I wasn’t so fucking gone on him. But there it was. Proof of how much I fucking love that bastard. Right there, tattooed across my chest, right over my fucking heart. Sengoku did a good fucking job of it. Made a nice little heart that looks manly while still looking like a fucking heart. Yuuta’s name written in pretty letters right there on it. Never fucking had a name on my body. Ain’t shit no one should do. Cause to us bikers, you ink a name on you and your fucking with the for fucking death til you part. It’s like a fucking ring only better. For a while, everyone there was fucking quiet and then Yuuta dropped his fucking wrench. Then he was coming after me again. Though the fucker was going to punch me again. Instead, he reached out and grabbed my face. Kissed me hard in front of fucking everyone. And fuck it felt good. I missed kissing him. I missed holding him. And I think he was crying again.

That night, I took him to the apartment for a bit. Got some of my shit and moved it in with Yuuta. My place was used for extra storage and shit And for my gang. They get to use it to meet. The fucking cop there don’t get in the way. And me, my home is with Yuuta. My real home. My first real fucking home. I know it is because I know what those sappy ass mother fuckers say about it.

Home is where the heart is. Who thought of bullshit like that? Ain’t me, that;s for damn sure. I’m sure it was some jackass bastard that wanted to make a quick buck selling chinscy crap to whatever sappy dumbass fucker that came along to buy it. Bet the slapped it on a wooden plank to hang over the fireplace right under the “bless this house” rock, or whatever else cheap ass crap normal people buy to make their nice houses look even nicer than before. Bet they believe it too. But they believe in all that cutesy fucking shit. Bet it makes them feel good about themselves and their boring normal stupid pointless ass lives. Not me. Never me. I’ll never believe in any of that fucking cheesy touchy feely feel good crap. It’s all a bunch of bullshit anyway. It’s all there because that bullshit makes pathetic people feel better about their pathetic little lives. I don’t need shit like that. What I got is nothing no one can ever market or ruin.