Flowers for a Weed | By : ArcadiaEclipse Category: +G to L > Hetalia: Axis Powers Views: 5296 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia. I make no money from my writing. |
Warnings: Yaoi (RussiaxAmerica), extreme angst, language, violence, hurt/comfort and explicit sexual depictions ahead. This fanfic is intended for adult readers only.
Author’s Note: My apologies for sort of jumping around with the time frame of these chapters. I promise, if you can bear with me for now there is absolutely a method to this madness that will become apparent shortly. Thank you guys so much for reading and supporting me on this story!
~ * ~ Flowers for a Weed ~ * ~
Chapter Five
By ArcadiaEclipse
I wondered sometimes whether the German realized that our relationship, having been built on the grounds of violence and hate, was ultimately doomed to failure. Ludwig had his reservations, of course, during the first couple months that we shared the occasional bottle of liquor and ultimately each other’s bodies late after politics had dissolved into bedlam and our diplomatic meetings adjourned. As the months became years, however, the German seemed more inclined to believe that maybe, just maybe, there was something more to our relationship than just casual sex.
Four years had gone by, most of them punctuated with politics and arguing and yet somehow laying in Ludwig’s bed as we were now did little to settle the growing feeling of regret that I had been waging with myself lately. Perhaps I had waited too long. There were rumors circulating now amongst the European nations that Matthew was planning to propose to Alfred during the holiday break.
The German seemed blissfully unaware of my mental anguish, having awoken shortly after I did only to set about pressing a line of damp kisses from my collar to my hip wordlessly trying to get a rise out of me.
“Winter sessions end today, lover. It will be lonely spending Christmas alone this year.” The ‘again’ was implied by Ludwig’s tone when he spoke but I remained reclined on my lover’s bed, one arm resting across my face to avoid looking at him while he attempted to drag me on his usual guilt trip. I was content to ignore him at least until I felt a box being set in my lap and begrudgingly I grunted and moved my arm to stare down at the carefully wrapped package.
“What’s this?”
“Your Christmas gift.”
“I didn’t get you anything.”
“I didn’t expect you to. Just open it. It’s something that we can use together.” The German grinned a little sheepishly giving me more than enough reason to hesitate with my fingers poised on the large silver bow.
“Take it back, Ludwig.”
“It’s non-refundable. Just open it for fucks sake, Ivan. Everyone else on this planet but you likes getting gifts, you know.”
I had an inkling that whatever was within the box would be something that only a German with questionably erotic kinks would purchase but for the sake of getting on with my day my fingers slowly untied the ribbon binding the package shut and lifted off the top of the box to reveal its contents. Tucked neatly inside, all in a perfect row, was a collection of glass phalluses, each a different color of the rainbow from red to blue as well as a variety of thicknesses. The narrowest in the box was violet and little more than the width of my thumb while the largest red phallus measured only slightly less than the considerable circumference of my wrist. I stared at Ludwig’s gift for a moment then looked up at my lover for an explanation. Something in my expression must have been pretty funny though for the German to burst out laughing like that.
“Don’t give me that look. I just thought it might be fun to try something new.” He shifted to sit closer beside me on the bed now and run his hand lightly over the phalluses, pausing on the largest to run a finger along the length of it idly. “I’d love to see how wide I could stretch you open for me, Ivan…”
“Take them back.”
I pushed the box into his lap and rose from the bed to grab a pair of shorts from the floor, glancing at the tag to determine if they were mine or his but ultimately not caring either way as I tugged them on and began to dress.
“I told you they’re not refundable. I had them custom made.” Ludwig sighed behind me but I could tell he was enjoying the view as I pulled on a clean button-down shirt and began searching for my slacks. “I’d like to think that deep down you really do harbor feelings for me, Ivan.”
“Think what you like.”
The soft creaking from the bed alerted me to Ludwig’s approach but his arms slipping around my waist and hugging my back against his chest were an increasingly annoying obstacle as I tried to dress myself for our last conference of the year. Although I did not struggle against his embrace I remained rigid and unresponsive until the German sighed and pulled away from my back reluctantly. His persistence never ceased to astound me and though he refused to relent, moving to face me now and press our lips together, this time I begrudgingly returned the slow, intimate kiss while the younger man caressed my hips affectionately. I pulled away only when Ludwig’s crotch came into contact with mine and I could confirm that my tentative compliance with his whims was making the German aroused again.
“Get dressed. We are going to be late as it is.”
“Then what difference does it make if we’re ten minutes late or an hour and ten?”
I growled low at him, grabbing his pants from the bedpost and tossing them into his face.
“I’m going. Do whatever you like.”
“Come home with me this winter.”
His unexpected words gave me pause but not to consider his offer. Ludwig was becoming increasingly insistent on making our bedroom alliance public knowledge regardless of my obvious disinterest in him. The man must be a closet masochist, I figured. No sane man would spend four years sleeping with someone that couldn’t care less whether he lived or died.
“Come with me to Berlin. Away from the politics, the debates, the arguing. Just me and you, Ivan. Let’s ignore the rest of the world for a while and spend Christmas together this year.”
“Fine. I’ll fly out on the twentieth.”
“You’re a terrible liar. I know you’d never come.”
“Then why bother inviting me?”
He sighed but started to dress while still willing his lingering arousal to fade.
“I guess a foolish part of me keeps hoping that after four years together you might actually stop loathing me long enough to give me a chance. Unrequited or not, I really do love you, Ivan.”
Damn him. I knew that it was stupid of me to continue sleeping with the German when I felt nothing for him but perhaps some deeply conceited part of my brain needed his affection for me even if I was unable to genuinely reciprocate his feelings. I was a sadist, yes, but not when it came to emotions. Truthfully, I derived no pleasure from leading Ludwig on all this time when I knew that I could never love him so long as Alfred Jones still walked this earth.
“I have some domestic matters that need my attention. If you insist on seeing me then you can come visit me at my winter home in Norilskon the first of the New Year. We will have a month before conferences pick up again for spring sessions.”
The German seemed to hesitate for a moment, evidently surprised by my sudden concession to spend a month with him in my homeland. He probably figured that my motives for inviting him must differ from his own more innocent desire to simply spend time together, but after chewing his lip for a moment the younger man spoke carefully.
“I really will come to visit you, Russian. I do not assume your invitation to be a mere jest.”
“My invitation is genuine, Ludwig. I will see you at the meeting.”
I never concerned myself much with being punctual at conferences these days regardless of having chided my German lover for making me late today. The first fifteen minutes were usually devoted to the routine complaints about seating arrangements, speaker assignments and the like, but on this particular day I was greeted not by the usual shouting and name calling but by hushed voices already in heated debate. Fortune was with me today as I caught my name on Francis’s breath giving me pause to remain just outside of the doorway and listen in on their conversation for a moment.
“I heard that Germanyinvaded Russialast night. Feliciano said that his brother heard them going at it for like..three hours at least. I’m surprised, I mean..I didn’t think either of them was the type to willingly permit an invasion, but I guess anything is possible in this world that we live in.”
“What if it wasn’t willing?”
I could clearly hear the Frenchman scoff at Roderich’s innocent question.
“The Russian is strong. Don’t you think that he could fight Ludwig off if he didn’t want it?”
“Francis, that’s bloody ridiculous. I can’t believe you are actually buying this crap.”
“It was not my intention to start such a rumor, Arthur, but I am quite positive that Ludwig and Ivan are sleeping together.” Even hushed Romano’s voice drifted clearly from inside the room as if the Italian was determined to make others listen. “I wasn’t going to say anything at all but my brother insisted that I at least let everyone know of their apparently alliance for security’s sake. I have been rooming next to the German representative for the duration of our conferences- seven months now, and I cannot count the number of times that certain, very distinct sounds have reached me through the walls at all hours of the night.”
“And you are sure that he is with Ivan?”
“I am certain of what my ears have told me, yes.”
One voice was notably absent as the others continued squabbling over my relationship with Ludwig. Perhaps Alfred was late to the meeting as well? I found myself rather hoping that the American was not witness to the colorful conversation taking place within the conference room in my and Ludwig’s absence.
“Does it even matter if they are fucking each other’s brains out? Good for them! Who cares? Next topic, please.”
“It does matter, Arthur, you twit.” Francis was obviously frustrated that no one else seemed to be picking up on why they should be the least bit concerned. “If you were to take a look at their histories, neither Russianor Germanyare the most peaceful nation in the world. If either or both of them together go on another crazy imperialist conquering spree where does that leave the rest of us? Trembling on the business end of Russia’s nuclear warheads?”
The room was silent for a long moment and my attention only averted long enough to press my finger to my lips wordlessly as a confused Ludwig approached the room and moved to stand beside me just out of view of those inside.
“So what now? Are we supposed to pass an ordinance that Russiaand Germanycannot maintain an alliance?” Wang sighed. “On what grounds would that even stand?
“It wouldn’t matter. Russiais one of the five permanent member states of the Security Council with absolute veto rights. He’d surely reject such a proposition.”
“So let’s take the vote now. He’s supposed to be here and he’s not; that’s no fault of ours.”
“And what of the next great war when we need BOTH of them to make an alliance in order to protect peace and prosperity in the world? I’m not supporting your plan, Francis.”
“Stop being such a twat, Arthur. You’ll drive us into ruin!”
“I understand your argument, Francis, but I have my own reservations as well.” I could almost hear Wang shaking his head as the Chinese delegate spoke. “I could only side with your vote if we had a rational, thorough discussion first.”
“We need to vote now! Ivan could arrive any moment and he’ll surely veto our consensus. You’re all going to regret this when they invade your lands and force you into submission.”
“Fine. I’ll vote with you, Francis, if it will shut you up.” Arthur announced loudly much to his ally’s chagrin but as the Frenchman began to sputter in offense even Wang spoke up softly cutting him off mid-retort.
“Ivan is stable now but I do not know if I can trust Ludwig not to lead Russiaastray. They would be powerful adversaries combined.”
“And do you think that’s a risk that we can justify taking, Wang?”
“Stop being a dick, Francis. We said we’d vote with you, okay?”
“Screw you, Arthur!”
“So what do we do now?”
Silence fell over the room and it was my cue to enter their midst with my younger lover in tow much to the shock of everyone now realizing that I had heard the majority of their heated debate. My heart fell to see Alfred was indeed sitting at the large table but had apparently remained silent as the others argued their cases for why Ludwig and I should be forcibly separated from one another. I smirked but chose to stand beside the table with my arms crossed regarding each of them in turn.
“Shall we take a vote then?”
Arthur grumbled.
“I think Francis is a dick, but Ivan..he does kinda have a point.”
“I agree with Arthur,” Wang sighed unable to meet my gaze. “I’m sorry, Ivan.”
Francis really didn’t see the point in continuing with the vote but the Frenchman still spoke for the sake of decorum.
“We already know where I stand, Russian.”
“And I whole-heartedly agree with each of you.” They stared at me dumbfounded but I retained the false smile quirking the corner of my lips. Evidently no one expected me to speak out against my relationship with Ludwig, least of all the German himself. “There are many risks involved if we were to continue our present alliance of sorts so I cannot help but to cast my vote in line with all of yours. I believe we are in agreement then, correct?”
I smiled sweetly for the congregated nations even as Ludwig cursed me loudly and stormed from the room in a fit of fury and betrayal. I continued as if I hadn’t even noticed the German’s angry departure but my eyes and smile were still directed primarily towards Alfred Jones who had yet to speak in all of this madness.
“I’m sorry, everyone. I cannot agree with you this time.” Alfred’s gaze turned down to his lap and I could see him fidgeting, keenly aware that dozens of eyes were all focused on him now. “As a permanent member of the Security Council, I use my veto right to block your decision.”
It would be a blatant lie to claim that I wasn’t even slightly surprised by Alfred’s sudden disagreement with the rest of our votes. Rather than voicing the obvious question why, I simply nodded and turned again to regard the other nations seated before me.
“I suppose that settles things. Might I suggest that we continue our discussions in the spring and end today’s meeting a bit early? I should like to return home before Christmas is upon us.”
There was no point in waiting around for another vote over whether to end the meeting early or not, and I opted to turn and depart their company just as quickly as I had come, leaving the others to take care of the formal dismissal arrangement. I was fully intent now on packing my belongings and checking out of the hotel as soon as possible. Although I was not at all surprised, I still found it slightly irritating to see Ludwig standing outside my hotel room with his arms crossed and a lethal glare turned in my direction as I approached him with a sigh.
“Why do you hate me so much, Ivan?”
“I have no resentment towards you in the slightest.”
“You just voted to make our relationship illegal! How in the world can you claim that’s not just a stupid, spiteful act? You hate me! Four fucking years together and it was only ever a joke to you! Why, Ivan? Why did you ever even pretend to put up with me if you absolutely despised me all this time?”
“…Are you finished?”
The German was livid, clenching his hand into a fist before driving it into my cheek without a hint of restraint or regret. I could have dodged his strike but after four years of putting up with my chilly demeanor towards him I figured that Ludwig deserved a good punch to release his pent-up frustration with me. Even I could admit that my latest act of betrayal was uncommonly cold and unfeeling after all of those nights that we had spent together wrapped in carnal pleasures.
“Feel better now?”
“You’re a prick, Ivan. Get the fuck over him! If Alfred actually wanted to be with you, he would have dumped that idiot Matthew a long time ago. I guarantee he knows that you’re obsessed with him so stop fantasizing about his dick already and give me a goddamned chance!”
My hand slipped inside of my large overcoat for only a brief moment to pull a heavy metal faucet pipe from my inner pocket while the other hand grabbed Ludwig’s throat and slammed the younger man firmly into the wall. Four years together and though the German fucked and dominated me at every opportunity I had never once fought back against him. Until now.
“Ludwig,” I growled from gritted teeth, replacing my hand at his throat with the cold metal pipe and half-choking him on purpose. “If you know what is good for you, you will think very, very carefully about the next words that come out of your mouth.”
The German swallowed causing the pipe to bob slightly but I was cold and unforgiving even as my lover reached up to brush my cheek gently.
“I missed you, Ivan. This side of you. You were always ridiculously strong and calculating during the war. That’s the Ivan I fell in love with. The one I wanted to tame.”
My lips twisted into a smirk but the expression was cold and cruel- a flashback to my years spent as the sadistic master of my Soviet Union.
“For the record, I have never once been weak in your presence, German. You are my lover because I allow it to be so. You have no authority, absolutely no control over what occurs in your bedroom. You touch me because I let you. You fuck me because I allow it.”
“But…I raped you...”
“Let me tell you a little secret, Ludwig.” I grinned, pressing the pipe harder into his throat with a considerably unbalanced glimmer in my eye. “I kill faster and more brutally when I’m drunk. If I truly wanted to fight you off that night you would be pushing daisies in a cornfield somewhere with your allies searching in vain for the slightest trace of your body.”
“Ivan,” his hand shifted to gently brush the nape of my neck as if trying to soothe me but still worried that I might actually lose my mind and kill him at any moment. “It’s okay if you want to top. I’m willing to try anything if it will make you happy.”
My grip on the pipe lessened and though I pulled away from Ludwig it was only to laugh outright at his stupidity.
“That’s what you think I want? You really are a fool.”
“Then what the hell do you want from me?” The German’s cheeks burned but Ludwig didn’t even attempt to strike me again. “Why are you acting this way, Ivan?”
“Because I’m sick of being a flower.”
Out of everything that I had said to the younger man so far today, this seemed to confuse Ludwig the most. I was fairly certain that my lover was convinced that I had lost my mind altogether but I didn’t bother to clarify my cryptic retort as I stepped past him to enter my hotel room and close the door before he could follow me inside. My anger faded slowly as I packed my bags to return home but my thoughts were consumed with memories of the little weed that had blossomed and grown stronger as weeds do even without me there to tend to him.
~ * ~ To Be Continued ~ * ~
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