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Butterfly Caught	By : bacative Category: Death Note > Yaoi-Male/Male Views: 4344 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I am retroelectric and I do not own Death Note and its characters and I make no money off this.

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Butterfly Caught

Hi, I am retroelectric, I fucking love mac and cheese and I don't own Death Note.

Beta read by Nilahxapiel.

Warning: AU, violence.

Slightly more than a month had passed since Yagami Light had begun harbouring a criminal in his own home.

Light was living a double life, going to work as a completely ordinary detective for the NPA, and going back home to a dangerous man who shared a similar intellect, a man who was odd, eccentric and a chain-smoker, with a penchant for over-indulging in sweet food. And violence. These were not really such desirable traits, and yet, Beyond was interesting enough to him that they kept on maintaining the strange emotional and sexual relationship with each other.

Every day and night with Beyond was different than the life he lived before. Light had been bored with the monotony of the life he had lived, uninteresting people and going-ons. He thought he'd remain that way forever, until the chance meeting with Beyond that first night in the bar where they met.

Light was more alive compared to just thirty-six days earlier, because he'd found his drive to do as best as he could, and this was attributed to Beyond. Beyond kept on making him think in even more further depth, constantly testing and taunting his logic which did drive him rather mad sometimes, but it was making him a better thinker. A better person too, in a way.

It was unnerving to think that a man who had committed horrible crimes before was making him a better man, but Light learned to look past it.

It was... thrilling, even. Harbouring Beyond.

Light wasn't even the sort of man to seek thrills, but he had learned to look past that.

He was completely ordinary in appearances, so no one would ever suspect that he was hiding someone like B. Beyond's disguises were rather useful as well.

Light was also still relatively young in comparison to his colleagues, but he was intelligent and had progressed quickly in the NPA. He had helped to solve so many cases since the tender age of seventeen—so much so that his superiors thought that Light had to slow down and thus the difficult cases which attracted his interest were delegated to the other detectives who had more experience than him.

They had—in nicer words—accused him of not exactly becoming a team player. But it wasn't as though Light could help it. His capability of deduction alone could surpass the team of detectives with years of experience, a fact that he found rather aggravating because they didn't appreciate it.

Light had been taken off the 'Backup' case, a fact he didn't know if he should be glad about, given his current situation living with the main suspect (and the admitted murderer) in secret.

This had all happened after Light had gone to the mental institute several times in secret, going undercover without prior notice to the investigative team and putting his life needlessly in danger. No one had taken him seriously when he accused the mental hospital of unethical practice, of violating human rights, because they felt it was irrelevant to the case. Light had forcibly gained a lot of strong evidence of mistreatment of several other patients along with Beyond in a matter of days, proving to the Chief and Deputy Director that B's violence had been triggered by the questionable treatment methods.

His paperwork took him two tedious days to complete.

But what did that mean for the B case? That the man they were hunting down, B, wasn't to be blamed for it?

But murders were still murders, no matter the cause that triggered it. There had apparently been no sympathy in the way Beyond killed, when he asked for their explanation. Which was funny, because Beyond hadn't even been caught and interviewed yet, so they couldn't see whether the man had been remorseful or not.

Then again, it wasn't like Beyond had actually become a serial killer. At least, not yet. Light never saw him planning to kill anyone, but he did see his violent tendencies rear their ugly head occasionally.

Of course, that news that the mental institution and all its branches and businesses would be forced to close, and the big shot businessmen responsible behind it would have justice served to them. Some had even accused the government of hiding such inhumane projects. Some were labelling it a conspiracy theory because no one saw what happened to the patients afterwards. Where did they go? Many fingers were being pointed at the big shots, at politicians and wealthy doctors and surgeons who had funding associations with the corporation.

It was an extreme case of infringing human rights, and the media was having a field day with the news because it had occurred within the context of a first world big city. Everyone knew about it. It was splashed over the front page of newspapers, broadcast on news channels locally and internationally for several weeks until it died down.

It was a highly commendable job on Light's part because he had basically been a one-man team uncovering and solving a huge case which had actually stemmed from the B case. There hadn't been any credit given to him because Light had refused. He had received a warning letter from his superiors for his rash actions, and called up to the Deputy Director's office and told he would be transferred to a different case instead, related to a recent spate of organised crime syndicates.

And his superior had mentioned that it was a miracle that he hadn't been fired or killed for his devotion to his job.

It was as though he thought Light needed to be humbled for actually doing the right thing. It wasn't his fault people were so inattentive, and that he was so intelligent that he couldn't miss certain things which were obvious to him, but not to ordinary people.

He had complained to Beyond for that, rather infuriated at being assigned a mediocre case again, and the man had simply laughed.

Light didn't even bother making sure the B case got a closure, or made any effort to know what was going on from Matsuda or his other colleagues. He hoped it ran its course, that they wouldn't find any new leads or evidences and that it became a fucking cold case.

Despite all that had happened in his work situation, he was rather content.

He had served justice, and his father had praised him highly for it, even if he didn't like the idea of Light risking his life for anything. He was his father, after all, and protective over him.

And he had told Beyond about everything he'd done about the institution even though it had been on the news. Beyond had grown quiet and let him talk, and then had smiled kindly at him.

Light had believed that this would change the man for the better. He was an optimistic person, an idealist, almost to a fault.

There was something new and refreshing about Beyond's frank perspectives that he offered, despite his violent tendencies. It was rather interesting to Light. The red-eyed man seemed to have calmed down after the horrendous incident in the restaurant the few weeks before.

Right then, with all that had transpired recently, it seemed very much plausible that Beyond could change for Light. They had countless interesting conversations which they shared, discussions over Light's work, over absolutely anything that interested them at the point in time.

Light recalled getting into a rather heated debate with him over a plot twist in one of Light's favourite mystery novels. They did completely ordinary things like that during the time they were together, as though they were close friends.

But close friends didn't exactly shut one another up by kissing heatedly. Beyond had wound up pinning Light against the couch and made love to him roughly until they got exhausted.

And the other things they did together in bed, or bath—or anywhere they could within the house were extremely sexually gratifying for Light, because Beyond was such a generous lover to him and liked to constantly tease him, so the spit-spark of fire and desire in Light's eyes never dulled. He hadn't even been interested in sex before, almost being a prude about the matter, but he seemed to be constantly rendered wanton and lusty under Beyond's ministrations. He brought it all out from him. It was, quite simply, Beyond's fault.

Light never meant for the sex to be a constant thing, but Beyond's advances were so hot and he made him submit every time that it was easier to just let him caress, touch and fuck his needy body. His lewd, dirty words got to him so much that he almost couldn't stand it. It always got him flushed and embarrassed because Beyond seemed to never run out of crude things to say to him, or do to him. It never failed to bring out the most erotic, debauched reactions from Light, and no matter how much his body ached afterwards, he always seemed to want more.

God, he was trusting this man enough to let him make love to him and not hurt him, and he had lowered his personal barriers around the man so much that Beyond memorised every single response Light's body developed to each of his constant kisses, licks and touches.

Beyond kept his body drained of energy each time, in a manner of a vampire, sucking it out of him with his seemingly unending sexual appetite, which was somewhat startling coming from that scrawny body, Light decided.

And all of this meant Light wasn't really that bored any more. He was being constantly stimulated with his mind and body, and although he was now constantly tired out with Beyond's energy, he was starting to adapt to such an unpredictable routine. Beyond had taught him the true meaning of spontaneity.

In Light's eyes, Beyond was just a person of wild character who seemed not to sincerely care of what anyone thought of him. His attitude towards things was making him overlook that Beyond had... killed people before, which was a rather dangerous thing. But he'd told him and promised he never would hurt him, and he was starting to believe him.

Beyond's crazed tendencies seemed to start stabilising and he was turning somewhat normal, even if he did maintain his quirks. It made Light feel accomplished. Beyond hadn't hurt anyone recently. It was his doing.

Matsuda and Aizawa who knew about the presence of 'Rue-san', didn't ask questions about the man while at work, and even if they did, it was in private when no one was listening. They understood that Light wouldn't want anyone, especially his father, to know of his relationship with a foreign man, because it was still somewhat taboo, especially in such a conservative environment. No one needed to know. Light wasn't the type of person to talk about inane things like personal relationships, because they were personal for a reason.

And as far as his father, mother and sister knew, Light had a 'secret woman' that he wasn't ready to tell anyone about.

He didn't mind the sentiment, but he really didn't care. He would let them think whatever they wanted. He would do nothing about it, and that was it.

Light was suddenly stirring in bed. He looked at the watch sleepily, and realised it was 3.46 am. It was early Friday morning, and he didn't have work because each Friday and Saturday was his usual off-days from work. He rubbed his eyes, feeling a heavy urge in his bladder, and standing to start to the bathroom…before he noticed something rather strange.

Beyond wasn't beside him as usual.

He got up after realising that fact and went to relieve himself first in the bathroom, flushing the toilet and washing his hands. He turned on the lights in the living room, realising that Beyond was really nowhere in sight, not even the next room which was his study, checking the balcony too in case he had just been smoking there, but to no avail.

The man had disappeared.

His DNA was all over him, though. Buried deep inside him, inside his stomach because he had been sucking him off when B had requested it of him. Beyond's scent was on his skin, because they'd had sex around 9.30 pm that night before Light promptly fell asleep after multiple orgasms, exhausted.

Beyond didn't even have a cellphone on him. He refused to have one, and Light was getting somewhat worried now because he hadn't even realised that Beyond could have been disappearing during times when he had been dead asleep. The man barely slept too, and when he didn't have his disguise on, his usual wide red eyes and dark circles were plenty proof to how little he actually slept, a habit of his Light hadn't successfully broken yet.

Light sat on the couch, staring at the TV as he turned it on, legs pressed up against his chest like Beyond usually sat, but not noticing it because he was tired. He was still taken off-guard by Beyond not being there.

Beyond however, at that very moment, was indeed roaming the city streets outside alone.

He had his black contacts on, and when he had been tired of walking, he sat in his usual crouch on a bench beside two young women, who stared at him and walked away when he grinned eerily at them, taking out his fresh pack of cigarettes and began to chain smoke.

He was watching people come and go. Looking at their names and death dates, and time of death, figuring out the jumbled numbers instantly because he had figured out a system which he could read it in its right order.

Beyond wanted to see who would die tonight.

He saw a police officer by the name of Tatsuha Eiri walking past him, watching the numbers with interest. He was going to die tomorrow, but he wasn't about to use him for his purpose because police officers dying in brutal manners tended to attract the worst sort of hunt-down from the authorities. Beyond knew this.

Beyond didn't want Light to know, either. He wanted Light to believe that he being there for him was enough to stem the flow of his bloody desires and thoughts, when it wasn't. As cold as a man like Beyond could be, he knew he couldn't have him hurt any more.

It wasn't enough for Beyond to release his frustration with sex, and he couldn't possibly make Light do anything else against his will, because he would retaliate. It was possible he could snap and turn him to the police, and that was rather complicated.

And be damned with the 'dark secret' he was hiding—the main reason why, and how Light could arrest such a man who had seemed to disappear into thin air. Light had no qualms revealing his dirty little secrets if he was pushed to, in the name of his justice, Beyond was sure.

That was... very dangerous.

That was why he used the time when Light was fast asleep and looked so innocent, in order not to bother him with his other needs.

It was pure animal instinct ingrained in him to want to do something extreme. The man had spent years in the mental institution with his brain soaked with drugs and altered with murderous intent and severe dissatisfaction which had stemmed from his strong desire of wanting to escape, and now that he was already out, free for slightly more than a month, he hadn't shaken off that particular desire yet. No matter how much Light liked to believe otherwise.

He had killed three people the night he escaped, and if he hadn't found it a hassle to clean himself up afterwards, if the blood didn't splatter on him and trigger his disgust for dirty red fluids, he would have killed more. Beyond wanted to hurt them horribly and send them to Hell for turning him into such a disgusting creature that couldn't be normal anymore.

Which was why it made him still somewhat happy that Light had brought the institution down with hard evidence that they were mistreating patients and using alternative, experimental treatments that wasn't even tested to work yet.

It would have made him much more happier if he could have taken the surgeons that had strapped him down like he was fucking Hannibal Lecter and attempted to brainwash his genius mind- and killed them with his bare hands.

Beyond hadn't dealt with rejection well the time when they first got acquainted with each other. When Light punched him in retaliation, that had triggered a flood of murderous rage, and he had choked and nearly killed the younger man when he hadn't meant to. It was an involuntary reflex on his part.

When Beyond saw the stranger stare at Light with obvious hunger for his partner and approached him, the way he retaliated was through more violence. It had been gratifying for him to stab the man's hand and release his pent up desire for hurting someone. He was lucky he recalled where and who he was with, or that desire would have overpowered him and he would have killed that man with his bare hands in that restaurant.

And it would be all over Light. He knew Light thought it was his fault that man got stabbed by Beyond.

Light was too idealistic and innocent for his own good. It would be the death of Beyond.

How could he even hurt someone like him, even with all the implications that surrounded their relationship?

Someone like Beyond was self-conscious enough to not to show his true murderous intent. Because Light had power too, damn it, he was still very cunning and intelligent, no matter how much he submitted to him during sex each time.

Sex was sex, and this was a completely different thing. Beyond finished his cigarette, and coughed a little, feeling his lungs constrict because he had been smoking too much but he didn't care.

And there he was.

The perfect boy for the night. His name was Koji Ito, and his death date marked that day, and he had just about three hours left to live.

Which was perfect. The boy couldn't have been more than nineteen, though. He seemed to have a whole life ahead of him, but the numbers above his head said otherwise. To a normal, rational person, that would seem rather sad and subduing, but Beyond was seeing it as an opportunity to sate his bloody desire.

A minuscule part of him told him to stifle his desire for slightly longer, but he couldn't do that forever. Beyond was so fucked up and he had to accept that of himself, or he would never be at peace.

He got up from the bench from his crouch and started to tail the boy. Koji Ito was walking back home apparently, and he saw the time of the boy's death fluctuating, which meant that would be Beyond's fault.

He was meant to be Beyond's victim. That had happened before, of course, with his three previous victims as he recalled.

It was more or less about to be four a.m. in the morning, so that meant there was no one around in the area when he followed him discreetly into the alley. The boy was listening to his music so he didn't notice a suspicious, tall skinny man with a bad posture following him.

An alley, for goodness' sakes. Beyond almost laughed at the perfection. He took the leather gloves he had bought, stuffed in his coat, putting them on ceremoniously.

It was such a perfect place to kill. It was dark, and there was no one around, so Beyond quickened his pace in fast, easy strides, tapping the boy on his shoulder. He looked at him, startled, removing his earphones and spoke.

"Yeah? What do you want?"

Beyond smiled, taking a step too close and invading the boy's personal space.

"Nothing, kid, just that you're going to die soon."

The boy's eyes widened with a strange mix of anger, apprehensiveness and fear, backing away from Beyond.

"The fuck you think you are, man, talking shit like that, don't try to scare me-"

He was about to break into a run, because the boy surely thought he was a mugger or a murderer which wasn't that far from the truth. Beyond reacted quickly and hungrily, easily grabbing his smaller form and practically flinging him against the wall and the resounding crack of the boy's skull against the brick.

"It's not my fault I scare you, Ito-kun. I was unfortunate enough to be born as such. Calm down and be a good boy." And for dramatic effect, Beyond kept him pinned by his neck in a choke hold, reaching to remove one of the black contacts, revealing a bright red iris. It was rather startling and frightening to see a person's actual eye colour be red, crimson like a demon, and Beyond knew that fact, and he used it to his advantage to scare the boy to death.

Beyond made his lips curve upwards in a cruel smirk.

The boy screamed, and he pressed a gloved finger against the boy's mouth to which he whimpered out of fear. God, he thought, he was even more submissive than he thought he would be. There wasn't too much thrill in that.

He took a handkerchief from his pocket, stuffed it into his mouth so he wouldn't scream before he had a chance to bite back, watching the tears stream down the boy's face in fear and anger at being overpowered.

Beyond was taking off the boy's clothes, which made his eyes widen and he trembled, trying to shake him off—anything, undressing him and tossing each article of clothing into a pile in a corner. He must have thought Beyond intended to rape him, because he was whimpering, but the sound wasn't sweet like he remembered Light's being.

In fact, it nearly sickened him.

He made him slide to the ground, tearing out the sleeve of the boy's bomber jacket and tied his hands behind his back, stepping onto his wrist so he didn't get up and run away so easily. Beyond smirked, not saying a thing.

Beyond proceeded to take off his coat, black t-shirt, as well as his pants, peeling off his socks and shoes, leaving himself in just his underwear and the gloves, tossing them onto the ground in a corner where it wouldn't stain. He was careful and methodical because he wanted to leave no traces. The boy was trembling, scared out of his wits, watching him frightened. Beyond gave him a cruel smirk that didn't seem like it belonged to a human.

He stepped harder with his bare foot onto his wrist when he decided to try to spit the handkerchief out of his mouth, the sound of his cries muffling and heard a sick crunching sound.

Beyond's eyes stared hungrily, and he reached swiftly for the 7-inch double edged knife he had hidden, strapped to his calf, blinded and overwhelmed with blood lust. He breathed heavily, the desire to kill exploding in his veins as he stabbed him down his jugular, all the way down his shoulder, chest and stomach, feeling and hearing the sick sound of muscle and bone tearing, and blood pour out onto his gloved hands and spurt onto his naked chest and face, dirtying him.

The light was going out of the boy's eyes, his muscles growing lax and he lying in a pool of his own blood, motionless.

He had carved the boy's body in a long, bloody 'I', which actually meant nothing in particular. But when he stepped back to admire his bloody handiwork, he realised that if he was killing out of his own selfish desire, he might as well make it a memorable one. He extended the blade and carved the extension from the base of the letter I which made it into an L instead.

L, the initial of his big brother's first name.

L could also stand for Light, he thought, smiling to himself. Raito was how they pronounced his name, but if his name was written in English, it would start with an 'L'.

Beyond could go on with all the possibilities of the causes of this murder from an outsider's point of view, even if he himself knew there wasn't any motive, except to kill. Oh, the police would have a tough time finding the cause of murder, alright.

This, he thought, staring at the dead body, was an excellent murder. Beyond untied the boy's hands, using the cloth of the sleeve to wipe off his blade, tucking it back against his ankle beneath the strap. He took the boy's clothes and dressed him almost lovingly, putting his pants and redoing his belt, putting on his shirt and the remains of the bomber jacket and watched the blood soak through the cloth.

Beyond was dirty now. He took the black t-shirt he had tossed, looking down at himself, wiping every bit of visible blood from his body and face. He peeled off the bloody gloves and his bloodstained underwear, before redressing without a shirt beneath his coat, since it buttoned up enough to seem he was wearing something inside. He put on his still clean socks and shoes and pants. He picked the gloves, bloody shirt and the torn sleeve, tossing them into a bin and lighting them on fire.

His job was done. Beyond walked out of the alley, tucking his hands into his pockets. When he passed a fountain, he dipped his hands in the water to wash any more traces off, and lit a cigarette and smoking heavily because the smell would mask any of the smell of blood and death on him.

He dropped the weapon into a bin on purpose somewhere along the way, somewhere hidden where no one would find it. There weren't any traces of his fingerprints on it, just a few minuscule drops of the victim's blood, which, if it rained, would be impossible to recover. It would then be a completely ordinary blade.

Beyond reached home at 5.13 am, and saw Light fast asleep on the couch in front of the TV. He must have noticed he was gone and waited up for him to return, before falling asleep.

He made himself as quiet as possible, the man going to take a shower, watching the rest of the traces of blood be washed away. He took out the remaining black contacts and washed the make-up off, scrubbing under his fingernails and making sure he was completely scrubbed, no evidence left on him at all.

Beyond's sharp hearing heard Light's footsteps, and the bathroom door opening and Light's figure standing there, looking at him. He seemed sleepy, but his eyes were sharp, looking at him accusatorily.

"You weren't there when I woke up," Light said mildly.

"I went out," Beyond told him, turning off the shower and taking a towel, wiping himself off thoroughly. "I bought some cigarettes."

"How long were you gone?"

"A couple of hours." A lie, he'd been gone longer than that. He walked past Light to grab some clean clothes, putting them on, giving him a perfectly normal grin. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, it's just that I don't see any logic in you disappearing for so long just for a pack of cigarettes." Light frowned at him.

"Did you miss me, Light?" Beyond asked him, coming closer to him and bending slightly to kiss his mouth, "I'm sorry."

Light let him kiss him then pushed him away, going to sit on the edge of the bed, glancing at the clock. "I feel like you're taunting me when you do things like that, B-san. You disappearing on me like it's nothing. Who do you think I am, huh? Did you think I liked that, not knowing where you are?"

Light stared at him, somewhat infuriated, watching as B casually took out a cigarette and started to light it. "-I do not take lightly to things like that. You should know that by now."

"Yeah."

"Then? Where were you, really, B-san? Are you going to tell me at all?"

"Well, I was feeling sentimental, Light, so I took a long walk. I thought of my brother and you." The letter L he had carved into the boy's body flashed back into his mind.

"Don't be silly, you're not the sentimental type." Light huffed, watching Beyond smoke. He glanced over him with his red eyes.

"You don't have work later, do you?" Beyond asked.

"No, not today or tomorrow." Light looked at him suspiciously, then sighed. "Aren't you tired, B-san? I haven't seen you sleeping much lately."

That was because he was restless, but Light wouldn't have known. Beyond wasn't restless now, however. He was all good and well and extremely calm after sating his other desire. In fact, he felt fucking fantastic.

"Yeah, maybe I do need some sleep," Beyond said, finally, putting out his half-finished cigarette and coughing slightly, wandering off to the kitchen first to get a drink, before coming back to bed. He flopped in beside Light, who just looked at him distrustfully.

"Please don't look at me like that, Light." He gestured, opening his arms up to him, "Come on."

Light sighed, but succumbed to him, getting back into bed and moving into Beyond's arms. "You just haven't been truthful about being gone. You know I never keep secrets from you, but when you keep some from me, it does hurt. Surely you understand that, B-san."

"Yeah." Beyond nuzzled his neck, pressing kisses over his jugular, and then over his shoulder through his t-shirt.

Light let him do that, but gasped when his hand began to suddenly slip beneath his shirt and rub over his soft flat tummy for a while, then reached further up to toy and pinch his pink nipples, his face colouring slightly in the dim lighting of the bedroom. He felt his fingers toy at the waistband of his shorts, about to slip his hand inside before he grasped Beyond's wrist.

"I'm still sore," he muttered, half-complaining.

"Yeah?" Beyond chuckled, "Alright, fine."

To Light, this was odd, because Beyond had only refrained from his advances about once or twice, out of maybe five times even when Light asked him to stop. Usually he just didn't care and began to push him up against the headboard or wherever in the house they were, and continued to make love to him – even if it really did hurt and he was terribly sore inside. The man really was that insistent when it came to sex. And because of that, it only deepened Light's suspicion when he actually listened, then stopped touching him and rolled onto his back to sleep properly.

Beyond was already fast asleep, snoring lightly when the younger man turned around to look at him properly.

Light sighed after staring at him for a long moment and shook his head, closing his eyes to fall asleep as well.

Light was beginning to suspect something was starting to go wrong with Beyond, rather belatedly, in fact.

He was an observant man, because it was in his line of work as an NPA detective to know these things. He hadn't been given a proper explanation as to why he had been gone the night before, and Beyond had evaded answering by sleeping all through the afternoon, only waking up around 6 pm when Light was in his study.

A part of Light was almost forgiving, because Beyond seemed to need the sleep, so he hadn't woken him up. And yet, the nagging suspicion remained on his mind as he read through the copies of the old case files, eyes glancing at the small TV he put in the study to watch the news when he was bored or needed a distraction.

Beyond, now awake, took a shower and lit a cigarette while waiting for his food to heat in the microwave, sitting on the couch to eat when it was done and turned on the TV idly.

The prime time news was on, a report about Beyond's victim with the 'L' carved in his chest, and Beyond wondered if Light was watching this in his room.

'19 year old Koji Ito has been found brutally murdered at 12.49 pm today in Yotsuka, Shinjuku district. Police have issued a warning to the residents living in that area that this may be the first of a spate of murders due to-'

He changed the news channel. Yet another one was showing about the very same case, but now, with a blurred out image of a woman being interviewed by a reporter, "I was just walking down the alley for a short-cut to go to my workplace because I was running late, and I noticed a boy lying down on the floor, but his clothes were bloody, and he was dead, and it smelled so-" The woman started to cry, and being consoled by another person.

He switched to yet another channel. A professional by the looks of it, speaking,"I feel it's vital to reveal the cause of death, yes, because it is rather peculiar—the boy died of blood loss, and the murder weapon hasn't been found yet, but we have a cause to believe that the murderer wanted to give a message. It looked like a samurai's 'seppuku', one of the theories we have, the motive of murder, but it is plenty obvious this isn't suicide, due to the angle of the wound, the force behind it-" He was listening intently, "-The wound looks like an 'L', in another of our theories-"

Fuck, his paranoia was starting to sink in. He switched channels to a documentary, lowered the volume of the TV and finished his food, taking a sip of water, and trying to listen with his sharp hearing what Light was doing in his study. He couldn't hear anything, so he had to find out.

Beyond saw Light sitting there, facing the small TV placed inside the study, watching the news intently with an odd expression on his face. He looked up when Beyond entered, giving him a placid smile before speaking, somewhat eerily and calmly.

"I don't know about you, B-san, but I have this really strange feeling inside me."

"What do you mean? You're not getting pregnant aren't you?" B grinned, faltering at the look on Light's face.

Light didn't comment at the joke, staring at him accusatorily.

"What? You're looking at me like I just-"

"Shut up, B," he snapped.

Beyond felt a slight chill at Light's tone.

"What is it now, Light?"

"Why is it that time and time again when I think that I've done something good for you, it seems like nothing you say or do can be trusted?"

Beyond watched him grow increasingly angry. Light had figured it out, and Beyond wasn't surprised honestly, because the clues were rather obvious, and it matched why Beyond had disappeared the night before.

"I thought I had been doing a good thing for you, a favour, perhaps, nearly sacrificing my job, which is practically my whole life, by bringing down that institution which fucked you up in the first place. I fucking understood the consequences of going on with the investigation myself, of letting you live with me, but I did it all just the same because I cared for you, and you said you could change for me... but apparently not, huh?" Light said bitterly, a hint of sadness creeping into into his tone.

He paused.

"How many lies have you told me, B-san? If you can't change, you shouldn't have promised me, you fucker," Light's eyes flashed, turning around so Beyond couldn't see his face-

Because he had started to cry.

Was that how severe the extent of the damages on Beyond's psyche were? He had thought the man had the willpower to change himself, because Beyond had told him so many times he was in love with him, and now, his heart stung horribly that there was no possible way of living a normal life with the man.

Light wanted that, but it seemed it would never come to be.

He had only just began to accept the fact that the man was violent, had murdered, and almost everything he was went against his ideals of justice, and he was about to push all of his flaws aside because he actually liked the man as a person, because of his intelligence, his wildness, his strangeness, how he could just talk to him about anything and everything so frankly and never needed to feel as if he wasn't understood-

And now, this. Light was extremely... sad.

He was so demoralised. He felt like a fucking idiot.

Beyond had to stop Light from sinking even further into his thoughts, so he turned him around and cupped his face, pressing a kiss to his forehead and wiping away his tears. "Shh, Light, I'm sorry, please-"

Fuck, Beyond really hated to see him cry.

"You... you're such a fucking bastard... I should hate you, you know that?"

"I know, c'mon, don't say that..."

"How many others have you killed before this boy, huh? He's only nineteen, you fucker, he's so young, he might not have been smart or useful to society or perfect to anyone but he had a family and friends-"

"I know, but-"

"You think you're God, huh B? Going around killing people as you please. Who are you going to kill next, huh?"

Light's voice cracked.

"Who? Me? You're gonna kill me next?" He wiped his face furiously, glaring at Beyond fiercely. "Why don't you do it now, bastard?"

Light was taunting him, as though he really hated Beyond, and the fact stung really badly.

"I can't ever kill you, Light." He tried to control himself. He had his fill already, he didn't want to complicate things further.

"Then why can't you fucking stop?" Light yelled, furious. "What are you waiting for, B? Waiting for this to break me?"

"If you really wanted to know," Beyond spoke, gradually growing annoyed, "That boy was going to die soon even if I hadn't done it to him."

"Are you trying to justify killing a child, B-san? I knew it," he spat, "You're fucking rotten."

"I didn't choose to be rotten, alright?" Beyond grabbed Light and pushed him up against the wall, his red eyes flashing angrily, "It isn't my fucking fault I was born with these eyes-" And in his anger, revealing more than he had meant to, "I didn't mean to see my mother and father dying when I was five, seeing those numbers above their heads every single day and not realising until it was too late! Do you know the burden—how that did me in and drove me mad? How I lost my innocence-"

Light looked at him, stunned.

"B-san, you-"

Beyond realised he had said too much, so he let him go.

"If you really want me to leave, I'll leave," he muttered aloud.

And if he asked him to go, Light thought, he'd be... lonely again. And that was as much of an unbearable thought as Beyond being unable to change his ways, because of something he had no choice in. He understood this perfectly, all too well, but then again, the pain in believing that Beyond could change because Light was optimistic enough to think he could-

Had he just been stupid, then?

Beyond didn't wait for his answer, leaving the room, grabbing his things and about to put on his shoes and leave him forever when Light stood in front of him, a guilty look on his face.

"Don't," he said finally. Light really doubted if he was doing the right thing, but the thought of being alone again was horrible. It made him sick. He had family and friends, but if Beyond left, there was no one he could really take comfort in anymore, even if the man was dangerous and overprotective and possessive and a downright bad influence.

A bad, horrible character to be around, but Light... he was attracted to him. He didn't know what to call it, he did like him, but to call it love—it was such a strong word.

Beyond stopped.

"It's just... I haven't heard you reveal so much before," Light told him, "Now that you've told me about your parents, I—really want to know more."

Beyond was silent before he bit back, "So you could analyse me with that, Light?"

"No." Light glared at him, "I don't let anyone into my life, B-san. I never let anyone into my life, but I let you in. You know so many things about me, don't you? The least you could trust me with is your real name. And while I may not accept that you've killed the boy, and that you can be a cruel person, which may not entirely be your fault, I-" he shuffled slightly, "-do admit I like you."

Beyond offered him a little smile, to which Light returned, rather shyly for a change.

Nilahxapiel: RETRO IS AWESOMESAUCE. I loved the murder scene in this chapter. Reviews will make me and her a VERY happy camper! XD LOVE YOU!

retroelectric: pffft LOL okay review you guize, I have the very fucking intense chapter 7 three-quarters done, and the story is getting to its conclusion soon, so tell me what you people think.
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Butterfly Caught