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Dangerous Minds	By : Countess_Millarca Category: Hellsing > Het - Male/Female Views: 5132 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Hellsing, nor any of its characters. I do not make any profit out of this!

Chapter List
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To say Alucard was pissed would be an understatement at this point. He had woken up late this afternoon only to discover his master mysteriously gone and a much offending post-it on his door. Apparently, even the Angel of Death did not want to be face to face with him, when he delivered the news of his master's absence. She had really done it…

Well, on second thought this was his master. It would not be as half as interesting if she were to act like an obedient little puppet. A spark of amusement cracked through his prissy demeanor and he let a sly grin adorn his face. Hm, if she wanted to play a game of cat and mouse he would certainly oblige her. Run as far and as fast as you can, Integra, but I will be the one to catch you in the end.

However, the conniving witch had been most thorough in her restricting orders. Well, if he could not even move a finger, there were others, who could and he knew exactly where to find them. With that thought on his mind, he exited his chambers, passing through the walls, heading towards his destination two floors up.

"My mignonette, we are finally alone…" Pip informed Seras, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"You pervert! Sir Integra may not be here, but my master surely is and his senses are far more acute than you would ever guess" Seras replied, faking to the right in order to avoid a hand ready to circle her waist.

"Oh, come on, mignonette. Right about bow, Alucard must be mopping around, missing Integra terribly or beating the hell out of my men, trying to vent his anger for the exact same reason. He will never know…" Pip explained, trying again unsuccessfully to catch any part of her tempting body.

"My master would never mope around, as you so insultingly put it, but the second guess could be quite accurate. Maybe we should go check on the men…" Seras said, half worried of her master's possible, current mood and half annoyed by Pip's ministrations.

"They are grown men, mignonette. They knew the dangers when they agreed to work for Hellsing. Do not belittle their courage and pride acting like a mother hen, trying to shelter her young from the big, bad vampire. I am sure they can manage…" Pip said exasperated, starting to hate Alucard with a passion. Was not Integra enough? Now he had to have Seras's full attention as well? Damn undead thorn in his side…

"I-I suppose you are right…But if anything happens to them, I am holding you solely responsible, Mr. Bernadotte" she threatened seriously, using his last name, something she hadn't done in a while, since they had started dating…

"Why would I be the only one responsible, Mignonette? If something does indeed happen to them, then it's only logical to blame the actual perpetrator, in this case Alucard. You are being unreasonable, mon petite fleur" Pip tried to reason with her, wincing slightly when he heard her calling him by his last name.

"Agh, can you please drop the ridiculous nicknames, Pip? I swear, as time goes by, you are becoming worse and worse with your sugary endearments. Also, I cannot punish my master for his actions, as you well know it, so that's why I will vent all of my anger on you, for not heeding my advice to check on them. And trust me, you will not like the consequences…" she said stressing the last words, staring intently at his groin.

"Oh, you would not do that, mignonette…I know for a fact that you more than enjoy playing with Mr. Happy" he said with a smirk.

"If you don't stop with the lame innuendo your…Mr. Happy will find himself without a playmate for a really long time…so long that you might consider changing his name into Mr. Unhappy!" she responded venomously, delighting on the look of horror her words caused to appear on his face.

"Fine, I surrender, mignonette, you win. We will go check on the ladies, if it will make you calm down. But first, can I have a reward for being such a good boy?" he asked with hope.

"Do not push it, Pip" she warned him.

"A little kiss is all I ask, mon cur" he said sweetly.

"Oh, what am I to do with you? One kiss and that's it, you lecherous jerk" she conceded.

"You may call me all that, but you secretly like this side of me, don't you, mignonette?" he said brazenly.

"Ridiculous males and their humongous egos" she muttered angrily, as she let him pull her closer and press his lips upon her own.

Before she had time to react his arms snaked around her waist, tightening his embrace and his teeth nipped her lower lip seeking entrance to her moist cavern. Feeling a bit promiscuous at the moment, she welcomed the sensual intrusion and allowed him to push her back to the wall behind them, trapping her there with his well toned body. She moaned appreciatively in his mouth, when he nudged her feet apart with his knee, rubbing her core on his muscular thigh, causing her short skirt to ride higher on her legs, revealing more than she had intended. Her embarrassment was soon forgotten, however, when she felt his hand massaging expertly her aching breast, the fabric covering it doing nothing to lessen the overwhelming sensation. A deep chuckle echoed throughout the room, making the side of her lips turn upwards in a seductive smile, only to freeze instantly, when she realized it hadn't come from the male who was currently fondling her fervently.

"M-master, what are you doing here?" she asked stammering, looking panicky around, trying to pinpoint his exact location.

"Of all the places you could be, why did you choose this one?" Pip asked with a groan, realizing his little tete a tete with Seras had been rudely interrupted. The fanged prick had an uncanny ability to appear, when he least expected him, in the most compromising moments. He had hoped that today his day would not include a cold shower, but he had again been proved wrong. One day, one day he was going to make the vampire pay for all his sufferings…

"I do not have to explain my reasons to you, lowly human. Besides, you would have ended up taking a cold shower regardless of my interference, isn't that right, Draculina?" he responded full of sarcasm.

Seras turned all kinds of red at that, hiding her blazing face in her hands, while Pip stared incredulously at the tall, dark creature.

"And how would you know that? I'll have you know I was doing pretty well before your unwanted interruption" he replied sullenly in an accusing tone.

"How naïve you are…If you cannot even judge how far along is a female willing to let things progress then I truly pity you" Alucard replied further amused by the human's reaction.

"U-um, can we please stop this embarrassing conversation, Master?" Seras intervened, her cheeks still painted a flaming crimson color.

"Very well, fledgling. I would not have even started this conversation, if it wasn't for the ignorance of your chosen bed partner. Honestly, I thought I had taught you better, Draculina. Ever the disappointment, aren't you?" Alucard finished with a sigh.

"Hey, don't talk to her that way. She is a very delicate young lady and I expect you to behave accordingly towards her" Pip said offended.

"You do realize you referred to her as a brainless female fit only for decorative purposes, right? Also, when you said accordingly, did you mean the same way you treated her a few moments ago? I have a feeling you would not be pleased if I proceeded to act like that towards her, although, I am sure the same would not be said for her…" he replied, laughing sinisterly at Pip's dumbfounded expression.

"You, you…sexual harassing freak" Pip sputtered.

"If that isn't the pot calling the kettle black, I don't know what it is…" Seras finally said, coming between them and ending this charade.

"Very aptly put, fledgling. Now, seeing as there is no point degrading myself even more, conversing with a brainless moron, I'll explain the reason for my presence, in small, simple sentences, as to be easily understood. Listen closely, because I will not repeat myself" he said with a sardonic grin, staring intently at Pip.

"Why you…" Pip started

"Shut it, Pip" Seras warned, hissing dangerously.

"As you well know, our master has abandoned her post and gone on a frivolous trip, completely disregarding her work and responsibilities" he announced with a serious expression.

"Um, master, she just went on a one week vacation. She redistributed her duties to the staff and gave prior notice. I don't see a fault with her actions" Seras explained cautiously.

"Nonsense, Police Girl. A leader does not have time for such childish endeavors and certainly not MY master. If she were in my time, she would be declared unfit to rule and be decapitated for putting her personal needs above her subjects" he exclaimed angrily.

"Yes, but this is the 21rst century, Alucard, not the Middle Ages. The woman deserves a little reprieve from all the craziness around here" Pip added, feeling elated when Seras smiled adoringly at his words.

"If you do not have something intelligent to say, I suggest you keep quiet" Alucard warned him, making the goofy expression on the Frenchman's face falter slightly.

"As I was saying, before I was so needlessly interrupted, she has sworn an oath, when she inherited the position of her father, to be the head of Hellsing and I will make sure she acts befitting the title, consequences be damned. I am already damned as it is, so I do not see how it could affect me any worse" he said dryly.

"Fine, fine we get it. So why are you telling us all this?" Pip asked resigned, deciding to stop protesting and agree with the overbearing vampire, if it would make him leave them in peace sooner.

"Because you, my dear pawns, are going to assist me in reminding Integra of her duties, by following her and bringing her back home, seeing as she has forbidden me from having any kind of contact with her or leaving the mansion" he announced with an evil grin, causing the both of them to shiver fearfully at the promise of pain and torture, shining in his eyes, if they did not comply with his absurd plan.

Seras now fully understood the cursed part of being a vampire.

She exchanged a knowing glance with Pip and they both sighed simultaneously, certain that Sir Integra would not like that one bit…

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Dangerous Minds