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Welcome to Hellsing!	By : Countess_Millarca Category: Hellsing > General Views: 2751 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Hellsing, nor any of its characters, just a clearly disturbed mind! I have not, do not and will never make any profit out of this!

Chapter List
- 5
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Alucard phased out from his master's office in an extremely bad mood. Much to his dismay and Integra's delight, he had spent the last hour parading back and forth in unsightly male underwear and swimsuits. Oh how the mighty had fallen! Of course, that was intended for his master. He had initially thought that she had made him do this as a punishment for his previous little prank with Miss Connely, but as the show progressed he had discovered dreadfully, that Integra actually enjoyed it. Seriously, he thought she had better taste in men. He could never understand why women were attracted to models; they could barely form coherent sentences and probably it was contagious, seeing that after the parade neither could she. She had stared at him with a face full of bliss and a stupefied look that said "once more". He had stormed out furious, however, instantly his mood lightened as a new thought crossed his mind. He could use this … weakness of hers for his own devious purposes, he concluded slyly, grinning like the madman he was. Already a plan, involving a few of these males she was drooling over for the past hour, a very distressed Integra, a pole and a pair of handcuffs at least, was forming in his demented mind.

"Oh I am definitely going to get revenge for this and I will thoroughly enjoy it, my naive Master" he murmured darkly, making his way to the kitchen for a long awaited meal.

He was stopped midways, however, sensing his fledgling's distraught and anger flaring through his mind.

"Now, had made the young Draculina so obviously upset? As her master, he was obliged to find out, wasn't he?" he thought with a renewed interest, forgetting his meal and heading towards the briefing room, where she and those morons, who called themselves mercenaries, were. Honestly, he had seen kids playing with water guns have a better aim than most of these pathetic excuses of blood bags. Well, at least they served as a rather amusing pastime, he thought cynically admitting a slight merit to their useless existence.

Just as he was about to enter the room, he sensed an unknown human presence amongst them; a female one. He immediately paused intrigued, letting his sensitive hearing do the work for him.

"It's a pleasure to meet you all. You may call me Amelia. I'll be responsible for your needs from now on. Please, treat me kindly."

So, she was the one his Master had finally chosen to be the temporary replacement for Walter. And apparently, she was now being introduced to the lecherous brutes. More interested in what transpired inside he waited to hear more, as he made a mental note to punish the police girl in a most unpleasant manner, for denying him the knowledge of this pleasurable situation.

He felt the clear discomfort of the human female upon her first meeting with them, the sudden enthusiasm of the men and their crude remarks and the increasing ire of his fledgling, which promised hell to pay if they did not cease their insulting antics.

When the female surprisingly displayed some nerve, causing even greater amusement to the degenerates and the police girl's outburst of fury, he stepped in right behind the unsuspected woman, adding to her further confusion.

"What the hell?" Amelia forgot her self and asked aloud, witnessing the petite female display a monstrous amount of power.

"That is a very astute comment, human. Very astute indeed" a deep, masculine voice answered her rhetorical question from somewhere behind her.

She jumped alarmed and turned around quite forcibly, only to come within mere inches of the most bizarre occupant of this mansion she had seen so far.

"Okaaaayyy, I have definitely stepped into the Twilight Zone" she thought panicky, staring at the male's deep scarlet eyes. He was clad in red and black, resembling a fallen aristocrat of the past centuries in his attire, wore a fedora hat (a fedora hat?) and was close enough to feel his breath tingling upon her face; which was bad, very bad indeed, because, if you dismissed his eccentric choice of clothing, he was a bona fide gorgeous male specimen, frighteningly so. Surrendering the urge to study him more closely, she confirmed her initial conclusion about him; he was a dangerous devil, hazardous for the mental health of all the female population, even a part of the male one. The male was sizzling hot with raven, silky hair, perfect bone structure, a seductive half grin, insinuating dark things, formed on his lickable lips and a cunning glint in his crimson stare, promising tremendous pleasure and torture to anyone who dared to provoke him. She took a reluctant step back and tried to put an order to her disarrayed thoughts. Time for a recap.

"I am hired instantly by a man-woman without a proper interview, a bunch of rough brutes under the command of a corrupt lunatic with a French accent are playing soldiers, a miniature woman transforms into the Incredible Hulk without the green coloring and I don't even want to know what, in God's name exactly, the temptation before me is, lest I finally succumb to this madness and lose my mind completely. I knew I should have accepted the babysitting job at the McAllen's, despite the pay being unsatisfactory, the husband a perverted bastard and the wife a paranoid, overprotective mother hen; at least they seemed relatively sane compared to my predicament now!" she thought frantically, oblivious to the fact that someone else could hear her thoughts as well and was highly amused by her non-coherent tirade.

"What a fascinating, little human she is" Alucard thought intrigued, all the while congratulating his master in her choice. She had described very aptly the dwellers of this mansion, although he was certain the majority of them would not take kindly to her colorful depiction, excluding himself, he admitted chuckling inwardly. Also, apparently, this particular female had a brain, compared to the uncouth dimwits in the room, and a strong one at that, seeing as she was still standing and evaluating the mess she had gotten herself into, instead of collapsing to a horizontal position and playing a dead possum. He wondered excitedly, though, how much more could she take, before running for the hills.

"Oh yes, these two weeks will most surely be entertaining" he surmised darkly, transforming his secret chuckle to a full blown sinister laugh.

Both of their thoughts were interrupted abruptly by the grunts, curses and the pleas coming from behind them.

"Mignonette, calm down, we were just joking!" Pip exclaimed, trying to shelter himself under a desk.

A lot of "yeas", "that's right", "we didn't mean it" along with profound curses and pained sounds, from those hit by her, accompanied their leader's explanation. Half of them had copied Pip's example, hiding under desks, and the other half were holding chairs in different protective stances, while Seras waded her way through them like a raging bull.

"I've had it with your sorry lot! Either learn how to be gentlemen or don't speak at all. It's bad enough that I have to go through your sexist taunts and vile remarks every bloody fucking day, but now you are performing your demeaning act in the presence of a clueless civilian, after my explicit warning not to" Seras shouted at the top of her lungs, flinging male bodies like they were rugged dolls in every possible direction, much like the Tazmanian Devil.

Amelia, much to her astonishment, had to duck a few times in order to avoid the flying males. Alucard just swatted them away like flies, adding insult to injury, not bothering to put an end to her rampage. It was a miracle how they managed to avoid a critical injury with all the flailing around, Amelia thought amazed.

"Um … Miss Seras, thank you for defending my dignity and honor, but I think they have learned their lesson. On that note, may I ask how can you possess such inhuman strength?" Amelia shouted, in order to be heard, trying very hard to keep her composure. It would not do any good to start panicking and show weakness, much like when disciplining small children and coming in contact with a wild beast. "Who knew taking care of disobedient children and watching the Animal Planet channel would come in handy like this? Maybe, she was indeed qualified for this job. Yeah right! And apples did fall from the sky. Oh, wait, humans apparently did! " she thought sarcastically observing the male bodies scattered around the floor.

Before the blond woman had a chance to answer her, a deep, throaty laughter echoed throughout the room, freezing effectively all activities.

Most of the males visibly cringed, crawling, as fast as their broken bodies allowed them, to the opposite direction of her and the man, if she could call him that, who now had an evil smirk and a bemused expression painted on his perfect features.

Suddenly the young girl was standing right next to her, with a salute and a clearly confused face. Amelia hadn't even seen her move, which confirmed her previous thought about the inhuman part. Obviously, things were not what they seemed to be in the Hellsing Organization and she had a dreadful feeling, she was about to discover exactly how much different from normal they were.

"M...m-master, w-what are you d-doing here" Seras stuttered profusely, her wide open stare moving worriedly from her master to the frail human. She noticed that Amelia was clearly shocked by her display, but, thankfully, at least she had remained in the room and had very politely asked for an explanation, not something one would expect from someone in her stead right now. It was a good sign, she sighed with relief. Until her gaze met her master's and she saw the excitement shining in its depth.

"Oh no, this was not going to end well for the poor woman" she thought nervously. Her master looked like a dog with a new chew toy tossed in front of him. The image was so ironic, that made her giggle aloud, causing her master's attention to her, adding herself to the list of not fortunate people this day. "Well, at least Amelia would be safe for a little longer, regrettably in my expense, though" Seras all but whined miserably, before her thoughts were interrupted by her master's masculine, baritone voice.

"Police Girl, since when am I accountable for my actions to you? I am free to roam wherever I want, whenever I want. As for this little gathering you prepared without informing me, be assured you will receive proper punishment in due time" Alucard said harshly to his fledgling, annoyed by her disrespect. Then, his mood lightening from the prospect of the abuse he was contemplating on inflicting upon her, he turned to face the human, trying to be as less intimidating as he could, lest he scared the little female away before he had his fun.

"Miss Amelia Rogers, I presume? It is indeed a pleasure to make your acquaintance. Allow me, instead of my useless fledgling, to educate you on the rather unique institution you are now a part of" he addressed the dark-haired woman with a fanged smile, delighting on the paleness that covered her face and the words that formed in her mind

"Oh my God, are those real fangs? I should have ordered the garlic bread with the pasta I had for lunch!"
- 5
- 6
- 7
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