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Cecidit Angelus	By : Kimmimaru Category: > Black Butler (Kuroshitsuji ???) Views: 2013 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroshitsuji nor any chracters/settings. I make no profit from this story.

Chapter List
- 5
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The wolf also shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the kid. - Bible Quote

I walked to my room, my mind still filled with my past as if it had grown and, by my words, become physical. I was assaulted by pain and thousands of years of regret, I could see the eyes of the others as I had fought them in the War, I could see Michael, standing high above us with his sword aloft, his golden armour shining...

Such agonising memories.

I began to feel resentful to the child for forcing me to relive my long past, I lifted a hand to my head and sighed heavily. The hallway was dark as the servants had all extinguished the gas lamps long before. I felt a sudden, deep weariness, my very soul was exhausted. I was tired unto complete exhaustion but not in any physical sense as sleep was unnecessary, but I felt as if I could hardly take the next step such was my tiredness.

All the long years seemed to have piled upon my shoulders making me sag as I dragged myself to my quarters, I needed rest. Even if it just meant to lie upon the bed and stare up at the ceiling for the rest of the night.

After an inordinate amount of time I reached the room and unlocked it quickly before stepping inside and locking it again, I leaned on the door a moment with my head against the fine wood. Then I turned and walked over to the bed where I fell onto it and curled up in the blankets, ah, humans may be many things but I did appreciate the softness of good sheets.

Then, I felt it. A horrible pain tearing through my body and I groaned. I opened my eyes and stared at my fingers while the pains passed, leaving me more exhausted than before. Of course, I knew what these pains were...I was hungry. My body was wracked with spasms for a moment before they faded and I sat up with my head lowered, my mind was consumed with memory of his soft lips, his alabaster skin and gorgeous blazing eyes. I slowly removed the gloves from my hands and let them fall to the floor before reaching up and stripping the simple clothes from my body. I sat, with my nakedness hardly covered by the meagre sheets, and allowed my form to ripple and change. My wings appeared in a spray of jet feathers and my hair fell down my shoulders like a shroud, my eyes glowed brightly in the gloom and my nails dug into the sheets beneath me as I fought the hunger.

I gasped and panted before covering my face in my hands and groaning. Why had I allowed myself to be put into such a situation? What bound me to my promise to the child other than honour? My body trembled violently as more spasms of agony tore through me, forcing a breathy gasp from my lips. I was used to such pain, but I could never get used to the eternal emptiness that filled me every time my hunger came. No soul could fill the massive rift left by God. Not the most pure, or the most evil...nothing. Nothing and nothing!

His rejection had made me furious and yet it also filled me with an insatiable craving to once again rest in his loving light...

Emptiness...

Despair...

Loneliness...

What was left for me now? What would become of me? What if Lucifer too rejected me? Would I be able to cope...or would I drown in these awful feelings?

The feeling of loss was too great and I lifted my hand to my bare chest, I hissed air through my teeth and tipped my head back as that emptiness clawed at my belly, drawing me into a wild fit of shudders. I growled softly, hardly allowing the sound to escape my panting lips. Torture! This was worse than the things Lucifer designed for those who sinned! This was worse than...

No, nothing could have been worse than watching his hand fade into nothing. Like a nightmare, a terrible tearing sensation as I had been forcefully thrown into the fiery pits! The sudden absence of light. The smoky air. The tearing, rending of my own flesh as I was changed. The emptiness that slowly grew until there was very little of the Angel I had been...I had been thrown from the gates, my sanity very nearly destroyed as I saw Michael’s fury turned upon me and my fellow sinners...

I was unable to stop the memories...they surrounded me, choking me until I could only lay still and float or drown. The child had no idea just what he was making me re-live, even after thousands of years the pain was still as fresh as it always had been.

I lay still, panting slightly as the hunger pains subsided. I stared up at the ceiling without really seeing it at all, I let my wings surround me in a cocoon of softness and sighed before going back through the centuries...

For if God spared not the angels that sinned, but cast them down to hell, and delivered them into chains of darkness, to be reserved unto judgment;

--2 Peter 2:4

In the endless gardens of Heaven I walked, my bare feet curling into the soft grasses and I bent to pluck a single pure white daisy from the ground. I spun it idly in my fingers with a tiny smile gracing my lips before I lowered myself to the ground with my legs curled under me and my scarlet robes splayed across the ground. Golden jewellery caressed my arms and wrists jingling as I moved and set off the tiny bells attached to them. I enjoyed music, in any form, and so I had sewn the small bells into my garments so I could carry with me the enchanting ringing. I lifted the flower to my lips and blew softly on its petals, it turned a vibrant orange and my smile widened. The petals then curled inward slowly turning brown before crinkling and falling off, soon it was little more than a pile of ash in my palm and I felt sadness sting my heart. “Pity...” I muttered softly to myself as the breeze picked up and blew my waist length hair around my face.

“Pity? What is a pity, little one?”

I looked up and saw a tall being clad in pale blue silk with a golden breast plate and golden sandals. Dark hair fell against his pale cheek and his large dark eyes stared into my own. I smiled. “I am sorry, Uriel....I was just trying to change the colour of this flower but...” I looked back down at the ash in my hand and tipped it sideways so the dust fell to the floor and was caught by the wind. “I killed it.”

Uriel sighed and sat at my side, he leaned back on his hands and looked up at the azure sky. “Azriel, you must understand that as an Angel of Death, it is our duty to take life, not give it or change it. You have been in under my command for a while now and yet you seem...” he frowned while he searched for the right words. “...Melancholy...”

“I am...only just getting used to things.” I muttered and looked down at my hands, I clenched my fingers and heard the soft bells as they made their wonderful music. “This...everything...is all so new to me! I am...mesmerized by everything, the colours, the sounds, the smells...it is all so overwhelming! It must seem a little silly to you...”

“Not at all.” Uriel said and smiled at me, his hand found my head and he patted it. “I understand completely...but, we have been called upon.”

I looked at him and saw how serious his face was. “We must descend and go to Egypt.”

My eyes widened slightly and I stood, the bells jingling but suddenly not seeming as pleasant. “What do we have to do?”

“Take the lives of each firstborn son of any house that has not the mark of lambs blood...come, it is time.”

“Then Moses called for all the elders of Israel, and said unto them, Draw out and take you a lamb according to your families, and kill the Passover.”

Bible quotes

I remembered flying through Egypt and taking those tiny little lives, in the name of God. It was done quietly, and none who had the blood on their doors were harmed but those that did not had their first born sons taken. We swept through the land snatching away the very breath of the children until day break when we came to rest on a mountainous ridge that looked over the village that surrounded the pharaoh’s palace.

“It is...dusty.” I muttered as my eyes scanned the sand around my feet. “And the ground has absorbed the sun’s heat...it is burning my feet!” I shifted my wings uncomfortably and heard Uriel chuckle. I looked sideways at him with my head cocked to one side.

“You amuse me, little one.” He muttered and shook his head. He turned and reached for me, his fingers turning my face to his and his smile softening. “You did well, come, let us return...the deed is done.”

So, we returned to Heaven and revelled in the music, the light and the joy that permeated everything...

But my happiness was not to last...

I was thrown into the darkness...

The armies marched across Heaven and clashed with a violence that went beyond anything humanity could re-create. The screams...the blood...the awful reality of bloody battle...

My joy was torn away. My soul cast forever in darkness. I cast aside colour and donned black robes, the golden bells I had loved were exchanged for black ribbons, my jewellery was exchanged for bare skin. And so I fell and changed, and the hunger consumed me, filling me with an insatiable, torturous hunger and a desire which I cannot quench.
- 5
- 6
- 7
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Cecidit Angelus