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Dangerous Drugs	By : Rhov Category: +. to F > Fairy Tail Views: 10234 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Fairy Tail is the property of Hiro Mashima. I make no money, I just do this for my own pleasure.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
Chapter 6
Hospitals and Horrors
Five days passed, and still Natsu was unconscious, lying on a bed in Magnolia Hospital. The door opened, and a nurse showed Gray inside the private hospital room. He took two steps in before freezing. Seeing Natsu like this, so small on that white bed, with tubes and wires attached to him, was truly painful. It was why he had refrained from visiting the hospital until now.
"Any improvement?" he asked with a terse voice.
"It's a slow recovery," the nurse informed him in a hushed voice, as if her patient was merely sleeping. "We'd never seen such an overdosed patient before, not for those particular drugs. When he wakes up, there's a little healer who said she'll fix his ankle, but we'd prefer to wait until the patient is conscious to make sure the healing is done correctly."
"That would be Wendy," he said to himself. "How long will he sleep?"
"The doctor expects he'll wake up in a day or two."
"It's good to know he's improving," Gray mumbled. "Is it okay if I just sit here with him?"
"Of course, sir. If you need water or something, let us know."
"I'm fine," he said in distraction.
He stepped closer to the bed, drawn to it and the pink-haired boy lying on it. As soon as he heard the door click shut, he let out a tense sigh. He tried to be stern around others, yet deep inside, Gray's world was on fire, and it was all the dragon slayer's fault.
"Idiot flame-brain," he grumbled. "Hey, wake up already. If you're pretending, I'm gonna kick your ass." He waited a moment, slowly drawing closer. "I told Erza about your hentai collection," he tried, knowing that would normally send Natsu fleeing in terror.
He watched carefully. No response. He really was totally unconscious.
Gray looked down into Natsu's face. He looked so peaceful, as if he was simply taking a nap. He had a rather adorable face when he was like this. Gray stretched his hand forward and ran it through Natsu's hair. It felt a little oily, but otherwise it was soft, and his scalp was warm.
"The guild's not the same without you around, so you better wake up. Lucy's moaning about rent money already."
Gray's head dropped, and he gazed over the sleeping body. The bruises had mostly faded to mere discoloration on the bronzed skin. However, there was still that ankle, now in a plaster cast, a few crusty scabs, and some bandages wrapped around the ribs that had been broken. He took a quick glance to the door and around the room to make sure he really was alone before speaking anything more.
With an unsteady voice, Gray said, "I … I need to know what you think, now that you're not a drugged up lunatic. I need to know … if all that was real, if there really was something between us. At least for me…" Gray took Natsu's limp hand and squeezed the callused fingers. "…something changed that day. Maybe the drugs also affected me, but … but I've had time to think. That's all I've been doing these past five days: thinking, trying to sort it all out in my head. How much was the drugs and how much…" He swallowed back intense emotions. "How much was real? I need to know, is it just me? Do you feel anything at all, or was it all drug-induced? I … I need to know!"
The door suddenly opened again. Gray jolted up and quickly wiped a tear aside before a doctor entered.
"Oh! Good to see he's getting visitors. You're the one who brought him in that first day, right?"
Gray coughed to clear his tight throat. "Uh, yeah."
"Were you with Mister Dragneel when he was rescued?"
"I'm the one who saved his butt," Gray snapped, a little upset at having his emotional moment interrupted.
"Good. I have questions for you."
Something about the doctor's tone of voice immediately put Gray on the defensive.
The doctor sat on a chair by the bed and went through a medical file, jotting things down as he spoke. "Mister Dragneel was forced to swallow a rather vile drug."
"Deeziak," Gray said, nodding.
The doctor's eyes turned up instantly. "How do you already know that? The nurses have been told not to tell anyone."
"Natsu described it, and I figured it out."
"Was he drugged at the time?"
"Yes."
The doctor focused back onto the chart, noting something down. "So, he was still drugged at the time of the rescue. How would you describe his pain level?"
Gray hated questions like that. "He was sobbing like a little girl."
"His mental state?"
"Really messed up. He … he sort of flipped out for a moment."
"Describe it."
"Like, flashbacks. He thought the abductors were there. He … he talked strange. Distantly. Kept muttering and repeating things."
"One of the ladies who brought him in said he bit you."
Gray blushed, remembering the little fib he told. "Uh, yeah. There were a few times when he thought I was one of the abductors."
Now the doctor's eyes turn up with a hard gleam. "The Deeziak drug was out of his system by the time Mister Dragneel arrived here. How did you cure him?"
Gray froze as he realized the portent of that question. He knew his face must have paled a few shades.
"I know how Deeziak is neutralized, boy. I already questioned the other two girls who were with your group that day. They knew nothing about it. I wanted to question you, but you took off." The doctor folded the file and set it aside. His whole posture let Gray know that this was an investigation, not just medical questions. "Was it you?"
Gray turned his face aside. Flashes of that day haunted his mind: touching Natsu, stroking him, entering him, the moans and heated cries, the feel when he came inside and brought a much-needed relief to Natsu's agonized body…
"Please don't tell anyone," he whispered with a tenseness to his jaw.
The doctor gave a long sigh. "I mean no offense—you're obviously a friend—but I admit, I'm suspicious about how consensual it was."
Gray smiled sadly. "It was something we both agreed upon, something … I think … we both wanted." He looked down into Natsu's face. "I won't know for sure until he wakes up."
"And you just so happened to know how to cure Deeziak?"
"I'm a mage. I read about poisons and weapons and crap. It's important to know about those things."
"Yet you still went that far to help him?"
"He's my guildmate," Gray said with fierce loyalty. "I'd fight an army to save his life."
The doctor smiled at such bravery. "I won't harass you more than this, and I won't tell anyone. If anything, you should be praised for going that far to help your friend. It must have been a difficult decision for you."
Gray turned his face aside. This doctor did not know that he had enjoyed every moment of it, and the act evoked many more feelings than merely helping a friend. Then he suddenly looked at the doctor with a sense of dread. "Is it still considered a crime?"
"He gave his consent, right?"
"I swear, he did. You can ask him when he wakes up."
"If he remembers," the doctor muttered.
Gray jolted up. "What? Why wouldn't he?"
The doctor now rose and began a routine checkup of Natsu, making sure intravenous lines were in place and checking his breathing. "The amount of drugs he was given, and especially the combination, could affect his brain. Deeziak, in particular, is known to affect the memory, so victims can't recall who their assailant was. Add to that the physical and mental trauma he was put through, and it's highly likely he might not remember what happened. Either the memories will be suppressed due to trauma, or too addled due to the drug."
Gray forgot how to breathe. Living these past few days in emotional limbo was hard enough. What if Natsu could never answer his questions about their relationship because he completely forgot all that happened? He feared that if Natsu could not remember, he would treat Gray the same as usual. To lose everything and pretend like nothing had happened would be torture.
The doctor finished his checkup and left quietly. Gray stood frozen, staring down at that peaceful face, but now he wondered what was happening inside Natsu's brain. Were all those memories slowly being erased?
He recalled some of the intimate moments, like the way he held onto Natsu and stroked his hair as he tried to calm him down, the gentle touches, Natsu's sensual moaning, screaming out his name, and lastly when Natsu confessed that he felt they were more than friends.
What had he meant by that? How much was Natsu's true feelings? How much was the drug?
Gray gritted his teeth and cursed, "Dammit! Please, Natsu … please remember."
He reached out to the sleepy face and moved a strand of pink hair. Then the cold fingers slid down to cup that hot cheek. Natsu's voice haunted him as the memories flashed through his mind.
"I trust you, Gray."
"I want it to be you to do this with me, no one else."
"Please, Gray. I need you. I … I want you."
"You're the only man I'd want to do this with."
"Yeah, more than … than friends."
"Actually, this is my first time … making love."
"I love it, Gray. Feels … so good!"
"I wanna hold you."
"Don't … stop … m-making … love … to me. Love it! L-Love … you!"
Tears poured down Gray's face. The hand on Natsu's cheek trembled.
"I don't want you to remember the fear and humiliation, but I don't want you to forget. I know it's selfish of me, but … I … I can't forget it. Not after what we did together. Not after you told me you love me. I can't watch you go back to when we were just rivals."
Gray gazed at such peaceful slumber as he lovingly caressed Natsu's cheeks.
"You were so cute when you tried to hide your blush from me," he said lighter, keeping his voice quiet. "Especially when you wanted me to touch you. How you asked for it, how you looked, the way you moved, the faces you made, your voice as you came undone … you were amazing in so many ways." He stared a little longer as his smile faded. "Now, I can't imagine not being able to hold you close, caress your face like I'm doing now, and kiss you."
The doctor's words came back with a wave of horror.
"Deeziak, in particular, is known to affect the memory, so victims can't recall who their assailant was. Add to that the physical and mental trauma he was put through, and it's highly likely he might not remember what happened."
Tears slipped out of Gray's eyes, and his neck tightened from trying to hold back the sadness. He tried not to choke on his words as he whispered, "Bastard, if you forget everything, I won't forgive you. Your heart belongs to me, remember?" He reached down and placed his fingers over Natsu's chest, feeling the steady beats. "I said I was stealing it. Do you think I'm gonna give it back just because you can't remember?" Tears streamed down his face, and he raised his hand to wipe them off. "Dammit, why am I so—" He cut off the rest of the words.
… so in love with you?
Gray smiled at his foolishness for not wanting to admit that out loud as he wiped more tears away. He looked at the dragon slayer with reddened eyes from all the rubbing.
"I'm such a mess, Natsu, and it's your fault." Slowly, he leaned closer to the dragon slayer's ear. He had wanted to wait before saying this, but now he had no clue if he would ever get the chance. Sadly, he whispered, "I'm in love with you, flame-brain. So much that it's hurting me, like you're burning my heart." He leaned back a little, stared for a few moments, before tilting his head and coming closer to his lips. "Maybe if I kiss you, it'll help you to remember."
He closed the gap between them and gently kissed those soft, warm lips. A tear dripped from his eye and splashed onto Natsu's cheek, only to tumble down the side and get lost in the pink hair. Then Gray leaned back up and gazed at Natsu's face, searching for something: a flinch, a smile, some sign that his feelings were coming across.
Nothing.
This wasn't some perfect fairy tale where a kiss awakens the sleeping beauty.
Still…
"I love you, Natsu."
Gray dipped down again and kissed him a little harder. He almost hoped he startled the dragon slayer awake. He would even accept a punch to the face if it meant Natsu would wake up and remember everything. However, when he leaned back up, he saw the unchanged features. Natsu still slept soundly. Gray shuddered out a sob and clutched the sheets in his shivering fists.
"Dammit!"
Just then, he heard Lucy's voice coming from down the hall, Happy's high laugh, and the distinct sound of Erza's rattling armor. Gray pulled away and quickly wiped his tears. He glanced in a nearby mirror; his eyes were bloodshot, his cheeks were blotched, he had dark circles under his eyes, and his lips were still trembling, no matter how he tried to stop them. He could not escape, so he turned as far away from the entryway as possible. The door opened, and the three teammates walked in.
Happy immediately flew forward and landed on Natsu's stomach. "Hi, Gray," he called out.
The Ice-Make mage only mumbled a reply.
Lucy had a bouquet of flowers and walked past the bed to set them near the window. "He looks better today."
"Aye!" Happy agreed.
Erza stood behind the ice mage. "Have you been here for a while, Gray?"
He still kept his face turned away. "Not long. The doctor was in here earlier."
Erza asked, "How is Natsu's condition?"
"Stable. He'll wake up in a couple days," he said, but his voice sounded hoarse. "Sorry, I need some water." He turned away, making sure he never directly faced them.
"Gray," Lucy called out from the window. "Are you okay?"
He quickly headed to the door and snapped, "I'm fine."
Erza gave an exacerbated sigh. "You're not to blame for this, Gray. It was my call to wait until we could be sure about a second infiltration. We didn't know he was getting beaten up and drugged. It's not your fault."
"So you've told me," he grumbled. Still, he felt guilty for letting it happen.
Lucy trotted up and placed a hand on his back. Gray paused momentarily with his fingers stretching out toward the doorknob.
"I'm sure Natsu will be fine," Lucy said with confidence. "I'll make sure he thanks you when he wakes up."
Gray sneered angrily. "Yeah … if he remembers anything!"
Then, unable to stay calloused any longer, he yanked the door open and marched out, trying to hide his face so he would not show his bloodshot eyes to the people around him. He rushed until he reached an elevator. He was the only person inside the lift, so he had a few moments to himself. Gray rubbed his face dry, yet still he sniffled. He cursed softly under his breath, mad at himself, mad at the villains who did this, and mad at Fate for showing him how to love only to strip it away. Then his fingers covered his lips. He closed his eyes to memories as he touched where Natsu's warm breath still sizzled on his skin.
"Natsu," he whispered forlornly.
All he could do now was wait and have faith.
End of Chapter 6
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- 7
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Dangerous Drugs