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In Heart's Embrace	By : Minnia Category: +M to R > One Piece Views: 652 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
t/w graphic depictions of suicide
//
Law opens his eyes. The first rays of the sun rising over the horizon casting the hue of dawn throughout his room. As he lies on his back, the first thing he feels is a heaviness on his chest. Luffy lay curled up in the crook of his shoulder, his hand sprawled over Law’s chest and his leg wrapped around Law’s. He snores lightly and Law feels his breath tickle his chest. It takes everything in his heart to untangle himself from Luffy and leave the warmth and comfort he provided.
But Law made a promise to himself that once morning came, the strange arrangement that had developed last night would be over. His heart screamed at him, telling him to just say fuck it and let himself fall deeper into the chasm that Luffy had opened up inside of him. He watched Luffy sleep for a moment longer. In this state, he was as innocent as a child. Gone were the tears and furrowed brows. He just looked at peace in his deep slumber. Law wouldn’t wake him. Let him enjoy it for a few hours longer. Luffy worked nights and Law imagined that he didn’t wake up till later in the day. Law didn’t have to work until the afternoon anyways.
His hand stroked Luffy’s cheek and he pressed a kiss to his forehead, lingering. Luffy made a small noise and unconsciously pressed his face into Law’s hand. This was it. His last kiss, the final time Law would feel Luffy’s soft skin under his fingers.
He would have to be cruel. He needed Luffy to think that their night together was a stupid one time mistake and that Law never wanted to see him again. He could agree that his actions were stupid but he would be lying if he said he didn’t want to see Luffy ever again. He so much would love to see Luffy’s smile, listen to ramble, wrap his arms around him and find out what it would be like if he fucked Luffy when he was in his right mind.
He pulled away, his resolve stiffened and consigned himself to the fate he had claimed for himself. With one last look at Luffy’s content face, he pulled on a shirt and left the room, quietly closing the door behind him.
As he made his way downstairs he took in the sight of his living room and cursed. Clothes were everywhere, Law’s phone thrown on the floor, a still open bottle of lube on the carpet and dried cum stains on his fucking couch. It took every ounce of self-control he had to not smash every breakable thing he could find.
He let the anger fill him, and forced his mind to go blank while he began to clean methodically. He gathered Luffy’s things and placed them in his bag with a sigh. After wiping all traces of Luffy’s existence from his home, he made his way to the kitchen and made a coffee. He expected this would be the first of many for the day. He was already about to lose his shit and he hadn’t even gone to work.
-
Luffy eyes blinked open and he stared at his surroundings in confusion. The first thing he realized was that he was alone and in an unfamiliar place. Bright light filtered in through the windows and he could hear the waves crashing. A huge bed enveloped him and he was surrounded by comfortable blankets and plush pillows. He certainly wasn’t in his shitty loft bed, that was sure. Law’s bed. He put the pieces together in his stupor.
The memories of the previous night flooded back through his mind and he brought a palm to his face. Shit. He was so fucked. He realized this fact more when he looked at his hand, black handprints blooming around his wrist. Although he would love to linger in the cloud-like bed, he needed to get up and find Law. His head pounded and his body ached as he sat up and he felt like he drank all night. Perhaps he was hungover, from the intoxication of Law’s touch. He was an idiot.
The smell of coffee wafted through his nostrils and he figured Law must be in the kitchen. Luffy rolled over and sat at the end of the bed, thankful that he was at least clothed. He would rather jump out the window than walk downstairs naked right now. He wondered what time it was but knew his phone was probably tossed carelessly downstairs along with his other things, namely his dignity. From the sun outside, it was probably early afternoon.
He stood up and immediately pain flashed through his body, almost falling over. He clutched his lower back and he groaned. He needed pain meds, now. Thankfully he was almost positive as a doctor, Law had a stash. He made his way to the bathroom and flicked on the light. The first thing he saw was his own face reflected in the mirror.
He looked like shit . His hair was all over the place, eyes were swollen and black splotches ran down his neck. He pulled up his shirt to examine, and found that they covered his chest as well. The ghosts of Law’s hands seared into his waist were visible above the low slung shorts he was wearing. Law’s clothes were one size too big and he looked like an idiot. He cursed and opened the medicine cabinet, pulling out a bottle of familiar pain medication and popping two, drinking out of the faucet to wash it down.
It was time to face Law. His cheeks burned at the memory of Law kissing him passionately before bed, the first time he initiated such a kiss with Luffy. He returned to the bedroom and his eyes were drawn to a familiar spotted hat on the dresser. He smiled and ran his hands through the soft fur. Such a mundane thing had led him to where he stood now. It was silly really.
He exited to the hallway, searching for the stairs and made his way down, entering the living room. No evidence of last night’s events could be found and Luffy realized in horror he had in fact come all over Law’s nice designer couch. Knowing how cranky Law could be, he was probably livid at the thought and spent the morning cleaning up. Now that he stood in the space, he realized how nice this house really was. The windows stretched over two stories and the view of the quiet sands and flowing tropical trees was borderline therapeutic. The furniture looked like it was from a magazine and the TV was huge. Luffy could sit there forever and watch both movies and the sea.
His footsteps echoed as he made his way to the kitchen and his heart stopped. Law sat at the kitchen table, a mirror image of the man Luffy met in the park. Glasses perched halfway down his nose, hair ruffled, and a book in hand. A coffee steamed next to him. Luffy was enamored as he had been with Law since the second he first laid eyes on him.
Law, sensing his presence, looked up with piercing golden eyes which were cold as ice. He didn’t smile. A shiver ran down Luffy’s spine. Was he mad at him?
“Go-good morning Torao…” he spoke softly and nervously.
“Good morning.” Law’s gaze shifted back to his book and Luffy stood there awkwardly. What was he supposed to do? What was he supposed to say? When he went to bed last night, some part of him thought that perhaps Law would wake up next to him and kiss him good morning with a smile. Oh how he was wrong. The cold man who sat before him was not the same comforting man who kissed his tears away and held him close in the bath.
“I-” Luffy began to form a sentence but was immediately cut off by Law.
“Listen. This was a bad idea and I don’t think we should see eachother again. I think you should go. I gathered your things and put them in your bag. Don’t worry about the clothes.” He eyed Luffy’s bag and hat that hung on the chair opposite to him. Luffy was dumbfounded. Law didn’t get up from his chair and his cold gaze returned to his book. So this was how it was. He was kicking him out without even getting up to walk him to the door.
Luffy wouldn’t protest. He couldn’t, after all what right did he have? He was an intruder in Law’s home and in his life and if he didn’t want him there then so be it. And honestly Luffy didn’t even know what to say. What the hell did he even mean by a bad idea ? Sure, the ways things played out were not ideal but the sex had been amazing and they confided in each other afterwards. Law certainly didn’t say anything like this then.
His heart screamed at him to say fuck it and fuck Law’s opinion. He so much wanted to crawl onto Law’s lap and pull off his glasses before pressing a kiss to his lips and show him what a real good morning looked like. But he wouldn’t do that. Instead, he would honor Law’s wishes and leave.
“Goodbye, Law . Sorry for being such a bad fucking idea.” Luffy spit, accentuating his name with a snarl. Two could play at that game. He grabbed his things and left the house, slamming the front door behind him. He pressed his straw hat to his head and began the arduous walk home.
He couldn’t believe it. He was fucking 22 years old and doing the walk of shame after not only the best sex of his life, but one of the best days he had had in months. His ass ached and his body screamed at him with every step. Clearly those pain meds hadn’t kicked in yet. He was so utterly humiliated. He hoped that no one would pay attention to the clear bruises that marred his wrists and neck. Anyone who saw him would either think he was some sort of disgraceful whore. He pulled his hat lower over his face. Hopefully he could just pass by unnoticed.
After enduring what felt like an eternity, but was really only about 25 minutes of shame, he reached his building only to encounter Ivankov in the midst of unlocking the entrance to New Kama. Are you fucking kidding me? He had hoped for a peaceful retreat to his loft, away from prying eyes. Of course not, that would be too easy. Iva turned, appraising him with a once-over, punctuated by a drawn-out whistle.
“Damn kid, you look like shit,” Ivankov's words mirrored Luffy’s inner turmoil, drawing a groan from him.
“I’m guessing this has something to do with a certain sexy tattooed man?” Ivankov quipped. Luffy met Iva’s perceptive gaze and it was all over. He fell to the pavement, pressing his hands to his face.
“Oh honey, I’m sorry. Come here.” The larger-than-life figure knelt down, enfolding Luffy in a comforting embrace. The scent of cigarettes enveloped him, a stark contrast to the solace he yearned for—Law.
“Why don’t we go inside and I’ll get you some juice and toast.” Iva lifted Luffy up by his armpits like a kid and placed him on his feet. He wrapped an arm around his shoulder and guided him into the bar and onto a bar stool. Luffy didn't resist; déjà vu washed over him. Thank god for Iva.
Retreating briefly into the back, the substantial man returned with orange juice and a stack of toast adorned with butter and jam. He set it before Luffy, concern etched on his face.
“You look like you had one hell of a night with Mr. Sexy, so what has you in such a tizzy?”
“He kicked me out this morning. He said it was a mistake and he didn’t want to see me again” Luffy nibbled between bites of toast. He realized he hadn’t eaten since Law handed him those sandwiches yesterday. Amidst heightened emotions and the whirlwind passage of time, food became an afterthought—unless it involved devouring Law, his mind added. Stupid.
“Yikes, that's harsh. Well, these things happen. Men are stupid. There are lots of fish in the sea, honey,” Iva consoled in his own peculiar way. Luffy felt an overwhelming gratitude for Iva’s eccentric yet caring nature. Without him, Luffy would have been lost.
“But I want that fish,” Luffy whined like a child who couldn’t have their favorite toy. He didn't care, and he knew Iva would accept his childish demeanor given the situation.
“If it’s meant to be, it will work out. You should take tonight off. You clearly need some time to think, and you’d probably scare the customers off looking like that ,” Iva suggested, interjecting with a cough. Luffy acknowledged the truth and normally he would oppose taking off, but his head swirled too much to contemplate anything beyond Law at the moment. Plus, he didn’t really want anyone else seeing these stupid marks. It’s not like he could wear a turtleneck in the middle of the summer. He didn’t think he even owned a fucking turtleneck.
“Thanks, Iva, you’re the best.” Tears were replaced by a momentary calm, and his anger had subsided. All he desired now was to retreat to his bed and never emerge again. Finishing his juice, Luffy handed the empty plate and glass to Iva.
“I know I am. Now go get some rest,” Iva said, ruffling Luffy’s hair, giving him the treatment he deserved for acting like a child before he trudged on his way. Dragging his aching body up the fire escape to his abode, he cursed at the oppressive heat that greeted him. Fuck this shitty place and his shitty life. Pulling down the shades, he flipped on the TV, seeking some background noise provided by the TV so he wouldn’t feel so alone. One of those overdramatic mid-day soap operas played. He pulled off Law’s shirt, crawling into his disheveled bed. He curled into the blankets and brought the shirt to his face, crying until his body succumbed to sleep.
-
Law arrived at the hospital mid-afternoon. He spent the short walk to the hospital feeling guilty for the way he cruelly treated Luffy. But if he didn’t make it clear then and there, he didn’t think Luffy would get the hint. It’s for his own good. He kept repeating to himself. He was standing in the hallway staring blankly ahead when a harsh smack on the back jolted him from his thoughts.
“Hey buddy!” Penguin appeared at his side. He was so not in the mood for dumb and dumber today.
“Hey Law!” Shachi also appeared, trailing slightly behind Penguin. He observed Law’s clearly irritated scowl.
“Damn you look worse than usual today. Long night on your day off? Maybe with someone special?” Shachi snickered with a wink. This was not an unusual question from the redhead who had weaved some crazy story about Law having a lover after Luffy left him that stupid note. Law was more irritated at the fact that he was actually right for once.
“Don’t be an idiot. OR in 5. Go get your shit together.” he demanded and brushed past the two men.
“You're no fun! Live a little!” Shachi called after him. This was going to be a long five hours.
Thankfully, after being told to shut up once by Law in the operating room, Shachi dropped the subject. The surgery went fine all things considered. Law had found his mind wandering and missed a few questions and comments from the surgical team. He found himself hesitating which was unlike Law, usually cool headed and precise.
After scrubbing out, Law returned to his office. He flopped into his chair and pressed his palms against his face. He needed to get his shit together. He had a job to do and his stupid fling could not distract him from that. He was met a few moments later by a knock at the door. Bepo entered without a response from Law. It was probably Bepo. He told the surgeon to just come in without knocking or waiting for him to reply when he first got his own office, but Bepo was too polite and still at least knocked twice every time. He found he was right as he looked up and observed Bepo taking a seat on the couch across from Law’s desk. The blonde had assisted him with the procedure (as he almost always did) and probably had a question about something.
“Hey, everything okay? You seemed distracted.” Shit. Law could never get anything past Bepo’s observing eyes. His friend just knew him too well.
“I guess.” Law responded. He wasn’t going to outright lie to Bepo and say he was okay. He already knew something was wrong.
“My shift’s over in a few minutes. Want to join me for a drink?” Law contemplated the idea. He didn’t have any surgeries scheduled until tomorrow and it was a relatively slow day and he was planning on heading back home in a few hours as long as nothing came up. Did he want to talk about Luffy? Not particularly. But he definitely needed a drink or two.
“Yeah. Let’s go.” he agreed, earning a smile from Bepo. Although they were together most days and spent hours in the operating room side by side, it had been weeks since the two men had spent time together outside of the hospital. They changed into regular clothes in the lockers and headed out into the warm evening.
It was a short walk as their destination was a small local bar they went to since it was close to the hospital. They spent the time chatting about various patients and the plan for the remainder of the week.
Law held the door open for Bepo as they entered the bar. The lights were dim, backlit by a few neon signs advertising various alcohol brands. A few tables were occupied and a couple of regulars sat at the bar, but it was overall a quiet weeknight. Law’s eyes were drawn to one particular table in the corner. A trio of men he recognized as members of the Joker Gang were sipping on beers and talking in low voices. He was annoyed at their existence in general, but it was a normal sight. Those bastards were everywhere these days. Thankfully, there was an open table on the opposite side of the room, so Law wouldn’t have to worry about them eavesdropping.
Him and Bepo sat down and a waitress came to get their drink orders. Bepo ordered a beer and Law got a double whiskey on the rocks. When the waitress returned with their drinks, Law downed it one swift gulp and Bepo eyed him with a raised brow.
“So what’s got you so irritated? Well, more irritated than usual.” Bepo questioned, of course adding a snarky comment at the end. Law sighed. He might as well confide in his friend for once.
“I met a guy.” he stated simply. Although he told himself he would talk to the blonde, he would have to pry the details out of his cold, dead hands. Law wasn’t one to make it easy and certainly wasn’t a chatterbox.
“The same guy Shachi has been teasing you about for the past two weeks? What’s so bad about that?”
Law sighed. It was time to face the music. “Yeah. We went out twice.”
“That doesn’t sound like a terrible thing to me. Did something happen?” Bepo eyed him.
“Some shit happened and we slept together. The next morning I told him it was a bad idea and kicked him out and told him I didn’t want to see him again.” Law cringed at his own words. He really was an asshole for that one.
The waitress asked him if he wanted another and he nodded. If he was going to talk about this more, he needed another
“That’s not very nice Law. Why would you do something like that?” Bepo chastised him. It wasn’t nice and Luffy certainly didn’t appreciate it judging by his biting remark and the door slam that accompanied his exit from Law’s home.
“I can’t get close to anyone. Something bad will happen.” Bepo didn’t know the extent of Law’s involvement with the Joker Gang, but he had walked into Law’s office on multiple occasions, interrupting conversations between Law and the Joker Gang members who regularly came to discuss incidents and cover ups shortly after Law was promoted to Chief of Surgery. Those meetings rarely happened anymore, Doflamingo’s lackeys only showed up every few weeks to remind him of his place. Bepo didn’t ask for details but he was intuitive enough to put two and two together when he saw strange men entering Law’s office and speaking in hushed voices conveniently always when strange incidents occurred.
“I’m close with you and I’m fine.” Bepo pointed out. He made a good point. But Bepo didn’t know that he was only fine because of Law, not despite him.
“There’s a reason for that. It’s different.” Law replied bluntly. The Joker Gang wouldn’t target Bepo as long as their agreement stood. He was a hospital staff member.
“So you’re just gonna give up? Clearly you’re pissed about it. You couldn’t even concentrate properly in the OR. That’s not like you.” Bepo was right, he usually was. He was pissed.
“Yeah. I’m angry at myself,” he admitted.
“And why is that?” Bepo questioned.
“Because I slipped up and let someone get close to me and I liked it.” That was the truth here. He wasn’t mad at Luffy. The boy did nothing wrong and he deserved to have someone love and cherish him. Law just wasn’t the right person for that job. If they lived in another universe, maybe things would be different.
“You can’t live your entire life alone, Law. You have to let someone in one day and it seems like things were going good until you fucked it up.” Bepo spoke with a soft voice and took a sip of his drink. He could see the true concern on his friend’s face. Bepo wore his heart on his sleeve. Law didn’t deserve him and even though he was probably right, that kind of life wasn’t in the cards for the doctor.
“I can and I will. I have done so for the past 20 years of my life and I’m fine.” Law responded firmly.
“I wouldn’t consider being a constantly angry workaholic who is totally alone fine. ” Shit. Bepo rarely got real with him like this but he was at least partially right. Anger flowed through him as he took in the blonde’s biting words. Who the fuck was he to tell Law how to live his life anyways?
“Don’t act like you’re fucking better than me, Bepo. You spend all your time worrying about what I’m doing to do anything with your own life.” Law snapped, regretting them the moment they slipped from your lips. Law knew he wasn’t really fine , he had just given up and didn’t fight back against his reality anymore. Bepo was right and he was just angry.
“I have a fucking life unlike you. You just choose not to ask me about it because you’re too wrapped up in your own shit. You would be a mess without me and you know it. Don’t be cruel to me just because you’re angry with yourself.” Law could see the visible anger building inside his friend as he raised his voice and he knew he was wrong. He would be lost without Bepo. He was taking his frustrations out on the doctor unfairly. This is why he didn’t talk to other people. He wasn’t a nice person, that much was obvious.
“You’re right. I’m sorry.” Law pressed his hand to his face. He wasn’t one to apologize so easily but there was no use in arguing when he knew that Bepo was just trying to help and his comments were unnecessary and cruel. Deep down, he knew everything the blonde said was the truth. He just couldn’t admit it or accept it.
“I just want what’s best for you, Law. You deserve to be happy.” Bepo placed a hand over Law’s fist, which he didn’t even realize was clenched in anger. Piercing, concerned blue eyes met his golden gaze and he sighed.
“I wish it were that easy.” Law confessed and unclenched both his fist and his jaw which he had clenched in anger. Melancholy filled him and he took a sip of his drink, letting the bite of the whiskey burn the back of his throat. How he wished he could just be a normal person and live a normal life. The fantasy of having a family and happy life was too far out of his grasp, only becoming more evident the closer he got to 30. His birthday was coming up and he dreaded the fact he would be entering his third decade as unaccomplished and alone as he had been at 20.
“Nothing worth having is ever easy.” Bepo whispered, giving his hand one last pat before pulling away and a comfortable silence fell between them, marking the end of the topic. The conversation ventured back to normal topics and Law made it a point to ask Bepo how his family was. The man was right, Law didn’t ask about his life enough and he did feel truly guilty for that. He needed to be a better friend.
Law went home that night and drank until he passed out on the couch.
–
Two weeks passed in a blur for Luffy. Nothing had really changed for him after the events at Law’s house. He went to work and came home as usual. Law’s presence breezed into his life, burning hot and fading away like birthday candles on a cake. He was back to being alone and miserable again.
The only difference was that he had felt such intense pleasure and now his body was begging him for more. Luffy wasn’t really a horny guy and only jerked off every so often. He didn’t watch porn or think about sex on a daily basis. But ever since he slept with Law he felt like he was dying inside. Not literally of course, but the hunger he came to realize was lust was ever present. He would wake up hard in the morning, and would have to relieve himself in the shower just to function. He even tried fingering his ass, something he had never done before. It just didn’t feel the same as when Law did it and he gave up after a few seconds, cursing the immensely attractive man’s magic tattooed hands and cock. He cursed Law’s existence in general. He would have rather never met the stupid doctor in the first place. Then he wouldn’t have this pit in his stomach and this unquenchable thirst.
His emotions had been on a rollercoaster and he found himself switching between wanting to punch a wall and crying himself to sleep. He threw a glass against his wall in anger on one occasion but immediately regretted it when he stepped in the shards that he had missed cleaning up.
His thoughts weren’t all about Law. He wasn’t in such despair over one person. Luffy had plenty of other problems which existed before the doctor appeared. The rage that filled him had a few sources: the fact that Ace was murdered in front of his eyes and he coulnd’t do anything, that his brother died protecting him, that he was too fucking stupid and sad to do anything with his life, that he was a failure. He was angry that he was foolish enough to think that he was allowed to die that day in Marineford. Angry that Law decided that he had to fucking live another day, not him. Jinbe should have just let him bleed out on the floor of the hotel room.
Immediately following Ace’s death, Luffy was brought into a whirlwind of police questioning, confusion, and sorrow. He didn’t know anything about the man who killed his brother and neither did the police. He had no idea why they were even targeted in the first place. Questions about Ace’s life were thrown at him and he had no idea how to answer. It was at that time he met Jinbe. The older man was instructed to escort him and keep watch as the police were unsure if the young man was still a target for the murderer.
His memory of that period was scattered but the recollection of one particular day was seared into his memory. He was laying in the hotel room he was borderline locked up in, staring at the ceiling as he had done for days. His mind whirled with memories of his brother, his nights were haunted by the scene he had witnessed only days ago. He did nothing but scream and cry. Grief and guilt overwhelmed him and he didn’t think he deserved to live anymore. If Ace was going to die because of him, he should be dead too. There was no purpose for moving forward anymore. He had lost all faith in the cruel world.
The police had thought ahead and hadn’t let Luffy have any knives or anything that could be used as a weapon. They were aware that the boy’s mental state was cracking after repeated interrogations. Luffy discovered that they had overlooked the large glass vase that sat on the table. had made up his mind at that moment and shattered the glass and grabbed a large piece, plunging it into his chest. He immediately saw red. The pain was overwhelming and he felt every cell in his body screaming. More. The searing pain felt so terrible but so good at the same time. He pulled out the shard and dragged it harshly across his skin and when he reached the end of his chest, he repeated the action on the other side. The blood was flowing out of his body and he collapsed to the floor.
Alerted by the sound of the shattering crash and likely Luffy’s screams as well. Jinbe rushed into the room and pulled Luffy into his arms. He immediately radioed for help.
“I… Can’t do it anymore.” Luffy spoke up to the man who held him in his grasp.
“I know it may be hard right now... But you must silence those thoughts! What is gone, is gone but there are still things to live for! Don’t give up, boy!” Jinbe’s voice echoed in his head as his eyes fell shut and he passed out.
Luffy was rushed to the hospital where he underwent surgery to repair his wounds. He didn’t know how long he was unconscious for but when he awoke, he found himself both alive and sporting a giant scar on his chest. He barely spoke, his existence almost like a ghost. Thankfully he was pumped with pain medications which numbed his body and mind. Psychiatric counselors tried to talk to him and he just told them what they wanted to hear. That he wouldn’t do it again and he didn’t want to die. He didn’t really know if that was true or not but the agonizing pain he had endured was a reminder of what happens when you don’t succeed.
The following weeks were also a blur, but the man Jinbe who saved him served as a grounding point for Luffy. He took the boy in after he was cleared to leave the hospital, deemed mentally stable and no longer a harm to himself by their standards. Luffy spent most of the time he was at Jinbe’s in bed, not knowing what to do with himself or his life. Jinbe’s kind words and care he provided in that time reminded Luffy that there may yet still be a point to this life he lived and that kindness still existed in the world. No matter the despair the boy suffered, Jinbe remained by his side with a strong arm around his shoulders. Jinbe fed and clothed Luffy, never asking for anything in return. Not that Luffy really had anything to give. He was broke and had been traveling and living out of his suitcase.
After a month or so, Luffy knew that he couldn’t mooch off of Jinbe forever. Dressrosa actually found him in a way. He was flipping through a magazine that was on the coffee table and he saw a spread about the beauties of the tropical island city. He figured it was meant to be and decided that it would serve as his next destination. Perhaps the ocean would help soothe his fractured soul.
As he departed for Dressrosa, he recalled the large man embracing him in an almost crushing hug, forgetting that he still had healing wounds “If you ever find yourself lost in this world, you can always return here, Luffy. Now go out there and live a life that would make your brother proud.” Luffy took those words to heart, and made a silent promise to himself that he would make Ace’s sacrifice worth it. Luffy kept in contact with Jinbe from time to time but recalling the man’s impact on his life made him realize that he should reach out soon.
Even though Law wasn’t the only thing on Luffy’s mind, he couldn’t help but think about him multiple times a day. He was still so hurt and confused. What had he done wrong really? He knew that throwing himself at Law perhaps wasn’t the best idea but it all worked out fine in the end. Everything was totally fine when they went to sleep that night. He felt utterly rejected. Was he not good enough? Was he not attractive enough? Did he realize he didn’t like sleeping with him? Was Luffy annoying? Was he too much of an emotional mess? Law clearly had some fucked up problems of his own so it’s not like he was perfect either.
These thoughts flowed into feelings of rage. He wanted to punch the doctor in the face and tell him that he was fucked up and how dare he treat Luffy like this. That Luffy already had enough shit going on, couldn’t he at least just fucking accept him for who he was? Luffy didn’t deserve this attitude when he wouldn’t even tell him what was wrong. He was irritated in himself for not yelling at Law back then, demanding he tell him what his fucking problem was. Fuck that sexy man. He hoped he felt guilty for being such a piece of shit.
Then there was desire. Law’s naked body floated into his mind and he literally dreamed about him hovering over Luffy, kissing him, fucking him until he couldn’t think anymore. It was excruciating. He wanted to climb his tall ass like a fucking tree and let Law fuck him on every inch of his house. He hated this. Why had it taken him 22 years to finally realize how good sex was? Was it that good? He couldn’t remember ever feeling like he did with Law. He had never come from just being fucked before. Was Law just an expert level lover? Lewd thoughts flooded his mind every time he pictured Law and his gorgeous face and impeccable body. It wasn't fair he was allowed to experience something so amazing only to have it ripped right out from under him.
Luffy was torn out of his memories when he heard a knock on the door. He had been laying on the floor in a star shaped position lost in his own mind. He didn’t recall ordering anything and figured it must be Iva or something. Huffing, he got and opened the door without checking the peephole.
“Hello, little brother.” spoke the figure in front of him. A tall man stood there, clad in all black and sporting a black cap which was pressed over his wild waves of blonde hair. Sunglasses covered his eyes and his mouth was obscured by a surgical mask. Luffy’s heart stopped. Little brother? There was only one person still questionably alive that would call him that. The blonde man pulled down his mask and took off his sunglasses. Dark eyes started back at him, a large scar surrounding one of them, and a grin formed on the man’s face.
“S-Sabo…?” He choked out. He couldn’t believe his eyes. He hadn’t seen Sabo since their childhood and may not have even recognized him if he hadn’t called him little brother.
“Did you miss me?” Sabo was clearly amused with Luffy’s shell-shocked face as he studied him. Filled with unexplainable joy, Luffy leaped on the taller man and wrapped his arms and legs around him. He sobbed into his chest as they both fell to the ground. Sabo chuckled and held him close, stroking his hair as Luffy sobbed loudly into his shirt.
“I’ll take that as a yes.” He murmured and let Luffy get his tears out.
“H-How are you here right now? Everyone told me you were dead. I said they were wrong! How did you find me?” He choked out between sobs.
“Well now, I don’t think I look dead, do I? Care to let me in? I’ll tell you all about it.” Sabo patted his head. Luffy nodded and stood up, letting his brother into his small loft. Sabo looked around, with a raised brow but didn’t comment. Luffy was embarrassed that the place was such a disaster. He hadn’t cared enough to do his dishes or worry about where things were in the past two weeks.
“Sorry about the mess…” He murmured with reddened cheeks. He cleared off the tiny table in the kitchen area which was piled with various half-eaten snacks and plates and gestured Sabo to sit down. He took the chair that was across from it, pulling it next to Sabo’s so he could still cling to his arm. He missed his brother so much and he couldn’t let him out of his grasp just yet. Sabo laughed at his childish gesture and pressed a brotherly kiss to his hair.
“You really haven’t changed much. You’re still the same clingy, messy boy I remember.” Sabo spoke fondly. Luffy was so surprised and overwhelmed that he only just realized that he had to tell Sabo about Ace. Immediately.
“Sabo… Ace is dead. He was murdered and I couldn’t do anything about it.” Sadness and regret immediately filled Luffy once again.
“I know. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to protect you both.” Luffy was shocked. How did Sabo know about Ace? They hadn’t seen each other since 10-year-old Sabo had left them and presumably died, and as far as Luffy knew, Ace didn’t know Sabo was still alive either.
“I killed him, Luffy. I killed the man who murdered Ace.” Luffy jerked back with a shock, causing himself to fall sideways out of his chair. He sat on the floor and stared up at the blonde. Sabo killed someone? Most of all the man who murdered Ace?
“What? How? When? Sabo…” Luffy couldn’t even comprehend what was going on right now. Sabo inhaled a deep breath before continuing, eyes dark.
“I’m sure you are very confused. A lot has happened. I will tell you everything and answer any questions you have once I’m done.” Sabo promised. Luffy made his way back onto the chair and nodded, leaning back in his chair and resting his legs across Sabo’s lap. Sabo allowed him and draped his arms over his brother’s legs.
“When I left Goa, I almost died. That’s how I got this glorious scar. I was saved by a group called the Revolutionary Army. Their goal is to take down corrupt governments. I have been working for them ever since they found me and I am a very high ranking member. My life is extremely dangerous which is why I haven’t reached out to you.” Luffy was flabbergasted. Sabo being a member of such an organization was insane to him but he couldn’t help but think his brother was insanely cool.
“The man who killed Ace was attempting to cripple the organization Ace worked for and targeted him due to his position. His name is Sakazuki, more commonly known by the moniker of Akainu. Due to our vast intel networks, we were alerted of this incident as it was one of great importance to Whitebeard, one of the most prominent figures in the world. Understand?” Luffy nodded and continued listening intently.
“Whitebeard himself reached out to the Revolutionary Army and requested we take out the man who killed Ace which was not going to be an easy task. Akainu was one of the top brass in the Navy and a very dangerous and important man. Our interests aligned, I wanted revenge for Ace and the Revolutionary Army benefitted from taking Akainu out so we agreed to perform the assassination which I was charged with leading.” Luffy marveled at the knowledge his brother continued to provide. He knew Ace was an important figure close to Whitebeard, but he had no idea that taking his brother would be enough to cause catastrophic damage to the corporation and lead to the murder of a super powerful military leader.
He understood now. The man who killed Ace came after them on purpose. What was crazy was that the man who killed Ace worked for the Navy. What was going on inside the Whitebeard Corporation that made them a target of the world’s biggest military organization? Ace must have been doing wild stuff on the side that he never told Luffy about. From their conversations, Ace made it seem like he was just working in an office. It made more sense now, he never imagined that Ace would work a stuffy desk job. He wished Ace was still around so he could badger him to tell him the stories.
Luffy wanted to let Sabo continue but a question burned in his mind and he needed to know the answer to it before he could process anything more.
“Why did that man point the gun at me then if Ace was the one he was really aiming for?” The man had unquestionably been aiming at Luffy, not Ace who was next to him. Luffy would never forget the cold gaze as he stared down the barrel of that man’s gun. There was no way he was mistaken.
“I’m not positive but I have two theories. The first is that he wanted Ace to suffer before he killed him, and he figured that killing you would have the desired effect. The second is that he knew Ace would try to save you and wanted you to suffer. Akainu was an intelligent and sadistic man, I wouldn’t put either past him. Our archives contain pages of instances of him brutally torturing his victims which the Navy turned a blind eye to. I suppose everyone has a different definition of what ‘justice’ means.” Sabo mused.
“So it really wasn’t my fault…” Luffy whispered. The puzzle pieces felt like they were finally falling into place for Luffy. It really was just pure cruelty that led to Ace’s death. Although it was still unfair, having some sort of explanation took some of the weight off his shoulders. Sabo patted his leg and he savored the comfort of his brother.
“No Luffy, nothing was your fault. Don’t blame yourself. Ace would never want you to. If anything, I am sure that Ace died with a smile on his face knowing that he protected you and that his death was not pointless. Ace likely knew he was a target and that his time on this earth was limited. Seeing you before his death probably felt like an unexpected treat for him.”
Luffy started at Sabo with wide eyes. He was right. Luffy had no idea that he would see Ace in Marineford. If Ace was already a target, there really was nothing Luffy could have done about it. It’s not my fault. It’s not my fault. He repeated this phrase over and over in his head. Tears rolled down his cheeks and his heart burned. Relief flooded over him. Ace was smiling when he died. He was happy that he died protecting Luffy. Sabo again held him in his arms until he calmed down.
A few minutes passed before Sabo spoke again “What were his last words?” he breathed.
“He said ‘Thank you for loving me, Luffy. Don’t cry, okay?’” Sabo's eyes were softened as he laughed quietly.
“You always were a crybaby. I’m glad he wasn’t alone in his last moments. It comforts me to know that your crying face was the last thing he saw before he died. I am sure he is resting peacefully.”
Sabo’s words echoed in Luffy’s head. He had never thought about that. The realization struck him that he was being so very selfish this entire time. Why did he never consider Ace’s feelings? Why did he only ever care about his own feelings and how Ace’s death made him feel? Luffy had only recently realized that perhaps he was really still just a childish fool.
“I was the one who pulled the trigger. Unfortunately, it was an assassination mission so I had to snipe him. I wished I could have seen the light leave his eyes up close and tell him I was avenging Ace.” Luffy realized at that moment that Sabo had changed. He had always been a strong-willed kid who would do anything to protect Ace and Luffy, but the passion in his voice when he spoke about violence surprised Luffy. He must have lived a very crazy life after being taken in by such an organization at only 10 years old.
“I’m glad he’s dead. I always wanted to get revenge for Ace but I didn’t know how.” he confessed. That was the truth. He realized maybe he wasn’t too different from Sabo. He would have felt satisfied watching the man who killed Ace die too.
“That’s what your big brother is here for,” Sabo beamed, clearly proud of himself before he continued. “So after I killed Akainu I was assigned another mission which is the reason for my presence here today. I can’t provide any details as it is top-secret, but I’m here to gather intel on the government of Dressrosa. I have been keeping up with your movements for years and I knew you were living here. It felt like now was the right time to speak. I wanted you to know that Ace was avenged.” Luffy understood. It sounded like Sabo had his reasons but he was still frustrated that it took this long.
“Why didn’t you ever reach out to us? We missed you so much Sab. Everyone really did think you died. I really did look for you everywhere I went.” Sabo sighed, sadness filling his face.
“I missed you both more than I could ever tell you. Every time I looked into your lives, I so badly wished I could be by your sides. But you have to understand, Luffy. I am a very dangerous and very wanted man. It was advantageous for both you and Ace that I appeared dead. If they had known I had brothers, my enemies would likely have tried to exploit you to get to me. I am sitting here now because we happened to be in the same place at the same time. I had to jump through hoops to even come here. I don’t have much time left but I want to hear about your life before I go.” Luffy’s heart dropped. He didn’t want Sabo to leave. He had just reunited his brother after over a decade and now he would be vanishing from Luffy’s life all over again.
“Please don’t go… You only just got here.” Luffy begged, tugging at Sabo’s sleeve.
“I’m sorry Luffy. Give me your phone and I will put in my private contact information so we can stay in touch. But due to the nature of my job, I won’t be able to talk much. I will likely be coming to Dressrosa a few more times for my current mission so I will stop by if I can. Now, tell me everything from the beginning. I can’t wait to hear.” Luffy accepted that answer and handed Sabo his phone who made a new contact and handed it back. He looked at the screen which read ‘Big Bro’. He was relieved that he at least would be able to talk and see Sabo again. He finally had his brother back.
He silently thanked Sabo. He couldn’t have come at a better time. Luffy’s mind had been so out of whack and now he had Sabo here to talk to and make it all make sense.
“So I lived at Dadan’s with Ace until …” Luffy told Sabo everything. His childhood. Shanks. His time on the Going Merry. He told him the names of all his friends and shared some stories about them. He told him about his suicide attempt. The overwhelming guilt and grief he felt. How hopeless and lost he felt these past few months. How Ivankov took him under his wing. The bar. He even told him about Law. Every detail down to Law kicking him out of his house. Sabo listened intently, his expression changing with Luffy’s emotions.
“It sounds like you have had quite the wild life. I must thank this Torao guy. I am so very glad that he saved your life.” he stopped briefly before continuing “Let me give you a piece of advice about matters of the heart. You should go talk to him. If you want something, you should go get it. Life is too short. Plus, you’ve never been one to give up so easily, right brother?” Luffy mulled over Sabo’s words. He was right, the old Luffy never would have given up without a fight. He would have told Law to fuck off and stayed right by his side, no matter how much he pushed him away.
“I think you're right, Sabo. Thank you. For everything. I feel like I was drowning in the ocean and you pulled me out. It all makes so much sense now. It’s like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I’m not sure what I would have done if you didn’t show up right now. I was kind of losing it again.” Luffy admitted.
Sabo pulled him in for a tight hug. “You are so very welcome. I’m sorry I couldn’t have been there to help you through everything, but I am here now and I will do everything I can to support you. You deserve to be happy, Luffy.” Luffy’s eyes watered. He didn’t even know how he had tears left after how many times he had cried today. But he felt at peace and his resolve had stiffened. He knew how he was going to move forward now. Sabo stood up and Luffy joined him.
“One more piece of advice. You really should tell your friends about Ace. From what you told me about them, they don’t seem like the type of people that would let you suffer here alone. I imagine they will be very sad to know that you were going through this without them.” Luffy nodded. Sabo was right. Now that he knew the whole story and was beginning to come to terms with things, it was time to tell them. Luffy missed them terribly and keeping them in the dark had weighed on him heavily.
“I will. Thank you again Sabo.” Sabo pulled him in for one last hug and pressed a kiss to his cheek.
“Goodbye brother, let me know how everything goes with the surgeon and your friends. Also, my girlfriend is dying to meet you.”
“You have a girlfriend?!” Luffy gasped in surprise.
“I do. She’s a member of the Revolution as well and she’s very pretty,” Sabo gave him a wink before he put on his sunglasses and mask as he made his way to the door.
Luffy watched him leave, closing the door softly on his way out.
He felt like a new person. Everything just made sense now. He had his brother back an explanation for the events surrounding Ace’s death. It was like Sabo knew that Luffy was spiraling. He showed up just when he needed him the most.
Now all he had to do was talk to his friends and go make Law his. He would save that for tomorrow.
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In Heart's Embrace