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Dangerous Territory	By : Rhov Category: +. to F > Attack on Titan /Shingeki No Kyojin Views: 4227 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own “Shingeki no Kyojin” and do not make money from this fanfic.

Chapter List
- 62
- 63
- 64
Chapter 63
Wet Toes
Eren was not asleep, but he was not fully awake. It was a weird state somewhere in between, drifting on clouds yet fully aware of the weight of Levi lying on top of him as his chest slowly rose and fell. One of his arms was wrapped around Levi, his hand resting on a bony hip. Levi's shoulder tucked under Eren's armpit, and he stroked his fingers slowly up and down his chest, feeling the curvature of Eren's pectoral muscles again and again.
It was a gentle petting that warmed Eren's heart. With his free hand, Eren held onto that drifting arm, wanting to hold Levi there so he would keep touching and never stop.
All was quiet after the frantic chaos, and yet so loud as they heard activity in the attic above, noisy carpenters boarding up the windows. The hammering sounded like explosive guns: bang, bang, bang, blocking one of Levi's escape routes.
Truly, they were both idiots for doing this in broad daylight, they knew that, but they no longer cared, not when the threat of separation was painfully real.
"We should wash up," muttered Levi.
Eren tightened his hold on Levi's hip. "Not yet," he whispered.
"That condom is ready to fall off your dick."
He did not release Levi and mumbled, "Just a little more."
"Spoiled brat."
Eren smiled to himself. Maybe he was, but Levi was the one spoiling him by giving in.
They lay together a little longer, lingering in this hazy warmth. For many minutes, they did not move, savoring this brief peace, while the storm outside grew louder, thunderous, and threatening.
Levi listened to the beating of Eren's heart. Life! The steady thumps of his pulse, the soft and airy echo of his lungs inhaling and exhaling: all of this was proof of life. With all the death Levi had seen in the past few years, it was relaxing to focus on the fact that he was alive. Somehow—and he would leave why he was spared to the mystery of God's Will—but somehow he was still alive.
His mind drifted until a soft voice vibrated through that broad chest.
"Can this day last forever?"
Levi propped up on an elbow, gazed down at Eren, and caressed his cheek. "Nothing lasts forever. The most we can hope for is to hold on to the memory."
"Then I want to remember this moment until the day I die."
Levi's brow furrowed as he smoothed back Eren's brown hair. "Don't talk about dying…"
"… It'll bring misfortune," Eren cut in, speaking at the same time. He laughed softly. "You've said that many times. Is it a Jewish proverb?"
"Not that I know of." Levi glanced over at the rain on the window. "It was one of the last things my mother said to me."
Eren gasped and hugged him a little closer in comfort.
"I came down with la grippe espagnole, same as everyone else in 1918. Soon after, she caught it. She still took care of me. Even as I heard her coughing and saw her face flushed with fever, she kept putting wet cloths on my forehead and made sure I drank water. Then one day, she collapsed in front of the stove. When she regained consciousness, I asked if we were going to die. She said, 'Don't talk about dying. It'll bring misfortune.' I don't remember much after that, besides a lot of coughing and shivering, but when I woke up, my fever was gone, and she was dead in her bed. Part of me blamed myself. I had spoken about dying, and then she died. I brought misfortune to her."
"No!" Eren cried out, heartbroken to think about that small child who had lost his only parent and blamed himself for her death.
"I know it's a stupid superstition. Still, it's better to not waste your energy scared about dying, and put that energy into thinking about living. I'm not going to die in this war. I can't. I've promised too many people that I will live." He gazed into Eren's eyes. "Including you."
Eren pressed their noses together. "We'll both make it. After all, I promised to meet you in New York."
Levi took Eren's hand and raised it to kiss his knuckles. "Then let that be our goal, and never even think about dying." He glanced down at the ankle still propped up. "My toes are freezing." His fingers drifted down Eren's chest as he smirked. "How about we warm them up in the bath?"
Eren saw a hungry look in Levi's eyes. "Take the bandages off. I'll set it up."
He rose out of bed, and Levi watched Eren's muscles cord and flex as he walked nude to the bathroom. He never thought he would find a man attractive, but Eren sure did make it easy.
Eren had an awkward time in the bathroom, trying to carefully get the condom off and clean up. Then he started the bath and added some lavender oil to make the whole bathroom smell like a garden.
He heard the crutches starting to thump along the floorboards, and he rushed back into the other room.
"I can get you."
"Let me make it there on my own," Levi snapped. "I need to get used to these crutches anyway."
He hobbled slowly, frustrated that Eren hovered around him like a worried parent around a child taking his first steps. Levi made it to the bathroom, but then he looked at the water in the tub. He could imagine putting one foot in and slipping.
"Okay, so that's going to be a challenge to get into."
The crutches were grabbed, Eren placed them against the wall, and then he swooped Levi up into his arms.
"I wanted to carry you in here," he said with a pout.
"Stop being childish."
Eren climbed into the tub and carefully eased down with Levi in his arms until he was fully in the water. He set Levi on his lap and wrapped his arms around him, holding him close until Levi relaxed and sank deeper into Eren's chest.
Eren could not help but rub along Levi's body. His hand slid up and down in slow, relaxed caresses. He cupped some of the hot water and dribbled it along the exposed skin of Levi's shoulders and chest, then stroked some more. Even when there was a brief touch along Levi's groin, Eren did not purposely try to rouse him. He wanted to feel every millimeter of his skin and remember it. If his fingers stroked along his cock, then that was just another part to touch.
For Levi, this bath felt like a much-needed cleansing. His fingers moved through the water, skimming over the top and dipping down, enjoying the idea of washing away years of filth that had blackened his soul.
Eren whispered, "Remember the first time we did this?"
Levi hummed in a peaceful haze. "We almost got caught. Then you threw me naked into a closet."
Eren chuckled. "I panicked. Sorry about that." He sighed, relaxing with Levi. "It was nice, though."
Levi stared forward at the tiles of the bathroom. "That day, I told you it would be safer if you forgot me; you said you weren't going away, and you'd never forget me." Levi rubbed the legs that straddled along each side of him. "I think I truly fell for you that day. Before, it was … curiosity, more than anything. I felt like I didn't deserve the happiness you gave me, and I resisted the idea. Hearing you say that, promising not to forget me…" He sighed pensively. "When you carry the weight of so many lost souls, it's easy to fear you'll die as well and be forgotten. So it was nice, being told someone will remember me."
Eren rested his lips against the side of Levi's neck. "Of course I will, but you're not going to die."
"Damn right, I'm not!" Levi felt Eren's hand slide down and give his cock another slow, lazy stroke. "You keep rubbing there," he murmured. "I would've figured you'd gotten that out of your system."
"I just want to feel you," Eren mumbled. His fingers glided down Levi's legs, then back up, including a slow touch along the flaccid penis again. "It's okay if you don't respond." His cheeks nuzzled against Levi's hair. "I just want to remember all of you."
Levi rolled his eyes. "Don't get sappy."
They soaked, enjoying the closeness, skin against skin, intimate touches purely for the sake of needing to be close, and savoring the relaxing heat all around them that loosened up their muscles and freed their minds from nightmares, at least for the moment.
Levi sighed in bliss. The walls around his heart had crumbled. Now he felt raw, exposed, cautiously stepping over the wreckage so he could escape the confines of darkness. It was an unsteady journey, but he had a hand to hold as he made his way.
Eren slid his fingers up and circled Levi's nipples. Despite himself, Levi felt his body start to tingle.
Eren chuckled as he felt Levi squirm. "I touch your Schwanz and you barely respond, but I touch here…" His fingers softly pinched Levi's nipple, getting his back to arch with a gasp. "…and you tremble in my arms." Eren kissed along Levi's shoulders, and he stroked back down along his body. "Oh. It seems you're enjoying it down here after all."
"Shut up," Levi whispered, keeping his eyes closed as he felt those hands touching him so gently.
Eren's fingers drifted along Levi's cock again, and this time he touched there with a little more purpose. Levi held back moans, but his body could not hold still. Eren felt every twitch of Levi's muscles, every caught breath, and saw the flush on his skin spreading.
Still, he did not want Levi to panic.
He wanted him to beg!
Or at least, he wanted Levi to relax and enjoy it, and if he wanted more, he should be the one to ask directly for it. If that meant he could only enjoy the arousal without the climax, that was fine too. Whatever pleasured him.
Levi's muscles began to cord, and Eren whispered a hush into his ear. He wanted Levi to relax, enjoy, and bask in the pleasure. He kissed all around Levi's ear and the side of his neck. His fingers softly fondled Levi's balls and slowly stroked up. His hand only ghosted over the arousal, yet just that much had Levi squirming.
Suddenly, Levi flinched as a flash of Moses' face came into his head.
"Shhh, it's me."
That voice relaxed him. Levi arched back into Eren's embrace.
"Eren," he whispered, grounding himself in the present. This was his touch.
Eren nuzzled him, and Levi hovered in a lake of euphoric pleasure, with those strong hands stroking so slowly, tempting him to plunge into the depths and sink into the warmth.
Levi flinched again. This time, he could almost feel the binds trapping his wrists to the prison bars of the dungeon and hear the grunts of a man behind him. His breath caught, he almost panicked, but Eren soothed him with his voice and soft lips.
"Shhhhh. It's okay, Levi. It's me."
Eren! It was Eren who was there.
"Focus on the water."
He could feel the water again. Clean, warm water.
"I'm right here with you."
It was Eren touching him.
"You're safe with me."
He was safe!
"I love you."
Those words!
"I love you so much, Levi."
His shoulders sagged, and his body relaxed away from that nightmare. This was real, and it was Eren there, pleasuring him and whispering softly. His hands felt the thighs submerged in hot water, and he could feel Eren's chest right behind him, supporting him.
His hips began to flex up into Eren's hand, needing to feel more. It all felt so good! His heart was racing, and he felt his gut tightening already.
"Eren," he whispered. Levi gulped before bravely saying, "Get a condom. I don't want to make a mess in the water."
Eren smiled in a rush of joy at hearing him want that. He gave Levi a soft kiss on the back of his neck and rose up from the tub, dripping as he hurried back to the main room.
Levi stared ahead, thinking about what he was asking. Every time he came close to surrendering to the pleasure, he was struck by nightmares. Even touching himself on his own, he just could not get to that point.
He wanted to share this pleasure with Eren so desperately, but the last thing he wanted was to ruin this moment with another violent flashback. He already felt those nightmares right on the cusp of his psyche.
Could he do this?
He wanted to at least try.
Eren returned with the square package, slipped into the water, and set the condom aside. Levi leaned back into him. They made small adjustments in the water, getting back into that comfortable spot they had been in. Eren knew when Levi was ready, because he felt tension in his shoulders finally loosen.
"Keep me in the moment."
Eren remembered what Levi told him before.
"If we do this again, keep me in the moment. It needs to be my call, not yours. Once I'm in the moment, once I … I want it … make sure you keep me in the moment to the end, or I'm going to seriously doubt that I want it." "What do you want?" "I don't know. When I'm in the moment, I want so much."
So much! The moment now was one of gentleness. Not seduction or carnal curiosity. It was a moment of two souls connecting.
Eren's hands were slow, caressing all over Levi's body, while his lips peppered kisses along his neck and shoulders. Gradually, he made his way inward and down, reaching around to grasp hold of him. Levi was still erect, but he had softened a bit. Eren set about correcting that. He cupped his balls and slowly, ever so softly, massaged them. Levi squirmed and made a noise.
No, that was too much.
His fingers drifted up and caressed along his full length to the cock head. His thumb swiped across the top as a tiny tease. Then his hand drifted off, letting the anticipation in Levi's muscles sink back into calmness.
This was the gentleness he needed.
When he rubbed along the cock again, this time Levi did not tense up. He grew stiffer without the full-body tension. It was simply his body enjoying the sensation.
"Eren," he whispered.
Keep him in the moment.
"I'm right here," he whispered. Eren reached over to the condom packet. "May I put this on you?"
Levi nodded, but Eren felt tension again.
"It's all right," Eren said in a hush. "It's just to keep the water clean. If you don't need it, that's okay. It's only just in case, that's all."
He tore the packet, pulled out the condom, and brought it over. Following the directions Levi gave him earlier, he pinched the tip and rolled it down. He had to touch a little firmer to get it on, and Levi began to tense up.
"I'm only putting it on. You don't need to worry now," Eren said, making sure it was fully rolled down. "Let me take care of everything."
Levi tried to relax, to slip back into that floating state, but now he felt the condom on. It was a conscious agreement to what would have been easier if he could leave his will out of this and just let it happen.
When was the last time he wore one of these things? As a Catholic, Petra had not wanted to use condoms. His last time had probably been back during his days of espionage and assassination, seducing women to get closer to a brother, father, or even the woman's husband. His only objective was getting the job done as swiftly as possible, and sex worked. Many of those upper-class women were happy to know there would not be a surprise waiting for them after the night was over, and Levi liked that he could fuck a woman, remove the condom, wipe up some wetness, and get back to work without feeling filthy.
Condoms made cleanup easy, and he liked that idea. As he felt Eren stroking him, he glanced down at the latex sheath. At least there would not be a mess. It was one less thing to worry about.
He heard Eren whisper, "Ich liebe es, dir ein gutes Gefühl zu geben." I love making you feel good.
"What does that mean?"
"Don't worry. Ignore what the words mean. Relax. Listen to my voice."
Levi closed his eyes. The hand stroked him, but he let himself float. Although the words were in German, Levi sensed what was being said.
"Ich liebe es, dich zu küssen." I love kissing you.
"Ich liebe es, dich zu berühren." I love touching you.
"Ich liebe es, dich zu erregen." I love to arouse you.
Eren's voice helped to ground him in just who was touching him. Even as Levi felt the tension building deep inside of him, Eren's soft words convinced him to stay calm. Every time he tensed up as he was pushed close to his limit, Eren slowed down, loosened his hold, and hushed gently in his ear.
"I'm here. It's okay."
That helped the first few times, but it was becoming infuriating. Eren was keeping him right on the brink without allowing him to plummet over. Soon, that ledge was not some scary thing. He needed to push himself past it.
"Eren…"
"Shh." He kissed the side of Levi's head. "I'm right here."
"I know you are," he snapped. Levi turned his head around so he could look up into those warm eyes. "Don't slow down this time."
Eren smiled, so proud of him, and he nodded. Now, he stroked a little firmer, but he still whispered into Levi's ear in soft tones.
"Ich liebe es, dich geil zu machen." I love making you horny.
Levi was so intensely built up, he could have grabbed himself and gotten off in five strokes. However, he tried to stay passive, waiting for the climax to hit, rather than trying to get it to come to him quicker.
Perhaps that was part of his problem. With Moses, he had hoped the man would finish quickly to end their humiliation. With Grützmacher, he had hoped the man would finish to stop all the pain. Every time, he just wanted it to be over!
Now, he allowed it to linger, and unlike those times, he was the one getting the pleasure, not simply being used.
The rhythmic thrusts and Levi's squirming affected Eren as well. Tired as he was, it was still arousing to touch Levi. He wanted to feel more, to share in this, both of them lost in pleasure together. But now was not the time. Even as his cock stiffened from the friction of Levi flinching and his hips making small thrusts, Eren tried to ignore it.
Right now, it was all about Levi, healing his heart, and working through the nightmares.
"I'm right here with you. Ich möchte deinen Körper vor Ekstase zittern sehen."
"Tell me what you're saying," Levi whispered, although his throat was tense as he held back moans.
Eren leaned right into his ear. "I want to see your body tremble in ecstasy. Zeig mir mehr, Levi. Show me more!"
"Oh, fuck!"
The air through his nose sped up, matched the tempo of Eren's wrist, and grew dire with need. He felt it starting, a tingle, a tightening, a sensation like rushing toward an exploding landmine.
He clenched the sides of Eren's legs. "Eren!" he said in warning.
As he felt Levi starting to lose control, Eren stroked faster and whispered in his ear, "Ja, genau so. Zeig mir, wie du kommst." Yes, just like that. Show me how you come.
It hit Levi like a snap, followed by a gush of heavenly bliss. He arched back into Eren's chest, and a moan rose into his throat, although he kept his mouth closed tightly. His body twitched hard, splashing water in the bathtub, just as his body also splashed out.
It had been so long … so long…
The last time…
Two years.
It took two years to melt the glacier around his heart, and now the deluge of passion flooded out. Levi was lost, drowning, anchored only by the soft words being whispered in his ear.
"I love you, Levi. I love you so much."
Eren's own mouth opened in bliss, overwhelmed as he got to feel the pulses through Levi's cock and listen to him struggling to keep quiet. Oh, how he wished they could be someplace where they could be loud, and he could hear those moans that Levi choked back!
The hazy warmth lingered like fog on a vineyard. For a whole minute, Levi's body tingled, exhausted yet revitalized. Slowly, the pulsing waves passed, leaving only the infinity of pleasure as he faded back into reality, sinking, sinking, everything melted and gone.
"Shit," he sighed. A smile escaped his heart and danced freely on his lips. "Putain."
Eren could not hold back his joy. He was so proud of Levi, and he squeezed him in celebration. He did it! It was less the fact that, for the first time in his life, Eren had gotten someone else off. No, that was secondary to Levi finally breaking through this barrier. Eren felt honored to be so trusted, and he felt like it was a great privilege to hold Levi through that vulnerable moment.
They both realized, they had crossed a border that could never be repeated, plunged into new territory that Levi knew they were both likely not ready for, and yet…
And yet…
Levi turned around to look at Eren. Foolish boy! He looked so damn happy.
"Was that what you wanted so badly?"
Eren chuckled and kissed Levi's forehead. "Ja. I wanted to pleasure you as much as you pleasure me." He cupped Levi's face and sighed in happiness. "So stattlich und stark. Du bedeutest mir alles."
"What are you saying?"
"That you are handsome, and strong, and you mean everything to me. I love you so much."
Levi's face wavered between joy and embarrassment.
Eren chuckled at his bashfulness. "It's the truth. I'm madly in love with you, Levi. My wonderful, strong, caring, handsome boyfriend!"
He dropped his head and growled softly against the young man's chest.
"You're adorable when you get embarrassed."
"Tais toi!" Shut up!
Eren let Levi hide away. Then an impish smile slithered onto his face. He said casually, "You know, it's good to find out whether or not that part of your body even still works. You're so old, I was beginning to wonder if it all dried up like two raisins."
Levi jolted up and felt a spike of rage at the insult. "Va te faire foutre, putain de gamin." Fuck you, you fucking brat.
Eren chuckled at teasing him until he riled up like that. "You sound so sexy when you cuss in French."
"Gai tren zich." Go fuck yourself.
"Less sexy when you cuss in Yiddish."
"Then when I'm really mad, I'll use that."
Eren kissed the top of Levi's head. "I didn't mean it, you know. I just like to see you react." Still, Levi scowled at him. Eren pouted and gave him sad puppy eyes. "Are you mad at me for saying that?"
Levi let out a heavy sigh and grumbled, "Je t'emmerde."
"What does that mean?"
"Screw you."
"But it's in French. So that means you're not really mad." Eren nuzzled him happily, despite Levi's contrary scowl. "Before you leave, I wanted to help you heal at least that part of your heart. I'm sorry if I was a bit persistent."
"No, you weren't." Levi rested on Eren's chest again and let the warmth sink into him. Softly, he muttered, "Thank you for waiting until I was ready."
"Of course!"
"I'm just upset that it took until now."
"Don't be." Eren squeezed him in a hug until Levi tried to squirm free. He declared, "Ich liebe dich von ganzem Herzen."
"You have to tell me at least that one."
Eren sighed in joy and whispered, "It means, I love you with all my heart."
Levi rolled his eyes. "Have you been saying stupidly romantic shit this whole time?"
Eren held back a laugh. The happier Levi felt, the crankier he acted. "I've been telling you all the things I love to do to you, like kissing you and holding you."
"Yep, stupidly romantic."
"Except for the last things I said to you. I wouldn't call that romantic. More like … hmm, what's the word … erotisch?"
Levi arched an eyebrow as he turned his face up to Eren. Erotic? "I didn't think a little boy like you was capable of talking like that."
Eren smirked slyly. "Maybe next time, I'll tell you everything in English."
"Yes. I prefer to know what you're saying."
"Even all the stupidly romantic shit?"
Levi fought against a smile and turned his face down into Eren's chest. "Even that." His finger circled around Eren's nipple hidden down in the bath water. "So, was that your first time jerking off a man?"
"Jerking off? Oh!" Eren blushed as he figured out what the slang must mean. "Yes, you are my first."
Levi silently nodded, not sure what to say about that.
Eren frowned in apprehension. "Was it bad?"
Levi snapped, "Do you think I would react like that if it was bad? Idiot."
"So, was it good?" he pried playfully.
Levi scowled and stubbornly refused to admit it. He grumbled, "You could use more practice."
Eren's hand drifted down. "Is that an offer?"
"Not now. I'm way too tired after that. I need to get this condom off."
Levi sat up to slip the rubber off and toss it. Then he collapsed back onto Eren, scowling to hide his feelings. However, the wet heat of the tub softened the furrow in his brow. He glanced down at their wet toes. Eren's were long and rough from being stuck in military boots; Levi's were pale, tiny in comparison, but now marred by the swollen foot and ankle.
Eren was so inexperienced, even at his age, and Levi loved the idea that he was the one who could introduce Eren to all these new experiences. It was such a selfish, prideful thing, two sins which he was expected to overcome as Yom Kippur approached, yet he felt it nonetheless.
Levi rested on Eren and muttered, "To be honest, I wasn't sure if … if that part of my body still worked."
Eren looked down in confusion. "What do you mean?"
"Well, I knew I could get it up, but … but after what the Nazis did to me back then … sterilizing me along with all the other men … I honestly wasn't sure if I could … you know…"
Eren stared off in horror. He had not even thought about that. He remembered, when Levi first mentioned that he had been sterilized, Eren had briefly wondered if that meant a full castration. He had forgotten about that up until now.
"Was this your first time since … back then?"
Levi nodded.
At first, it felt wrong to experience that release without Petra, like he was betraying her. Then he was simply too busy trying to stay alive, and he felt no desire for pleasure. Even when it was a morning erection from dreams of marital bliss, it repulsed him to think that his body would react that way without her around. Recently, it was due to all the trauma. Even if Eren could get him erect, he could not push himself to completion. He began to wonder if he even could.
Two years.
Levi mumbled, "Well, I guess they didn't turn into raisins."
Eren laughed, breaking the dark tension. "Is that a joke, from you?"
"Shut up."
Eren wrapped his arms around and held Levi supportively. "I'm glad we could figure out that together." He sighed heavily and gazed at their two bodies in the water. "I wish we had another day."
Levi closed his eyes. "Me too." He knew that their time was limited, not only until he left, but until sunset. "I really should eat," he whispered, and that was the statement that broke the hazy spell.
They finished cleaning, slowly scrubbing each other. Eren washed Levi's hair with lots of petting to his head, until finally the water grew cold. They climbed out, dried each other off with playful touches, and stroked the towel up and down each other's limbs.
Then Eren swooped Levi up, and this time there were no protests. He placed Levi on the bed, put medication on the swollen ankle, wrapped it up in a bandage, and brought the crutches over. They climbed under the blankets naked and cuddled, lingering as their bodies continued to dry.
Levi stared ahead pensively. In a quiet mutter, he asked, "Would you really come find me in America?" It was an easy promise to make, but a huge challenge to actually travel to another country just to meet up with someone you knew for only a few months.
Eren heard the doubt in Levi's soft voice. He also knew this was going to be a challenge. Jean was right, America might not allow a former Nazi officer to come into their country. Even if America decided not to ban former enemies from visiting, it could take a long time to find Levi again, not having his address, only his name and a description. New York was a big city with millions of people, and he had to find only one out of the massive crowd.
"I will," Eren swore. "If I make it out of this war—"
"When!" Levi snapped. "Not if. When."
Eren nodded with a tiny smile. That was right, they promised not to even think about dying. "When I make it out of this war, I want to travel. I want to see lands untouched by war. America itself has not been attacked, at least not like the countries of Europe. I want to see the beauty of nature again. One day, I want to see the Pacific Ocean. I grew up on der Nordsee, where the water is cold and often freezes over. I want to see what a tropical beach is like."
"Traveling, huh?" Levi muttered, letting his hand drift across Eren's chest. "I've seen my fair share of the world, but it was always for jobs. Only once have I ever traveled for pleasure."
"Where?"
"I told you about that vineyard in southern France."
"Yes, you mentioned it when we were at the restaurant."
"It was the only trip I took that wasn't for a job. Not for me, at least; it was a hit job for my uncle, but for me, it was purely a vacation, seeing how beautiful the world could be, if I could just escape the slums." His fingertips circled around Eren's heart. "You deserve that."
"So do you. When I go to America, we'll go on a vacation together, maybe to the coast, or maybe America has vineyards."
Levi hummed, and listened to that slow, steady heartbeat. "You'll really come to see me?"
"I told you, I will."
"I don't want to wait ten years only to find out you had no intention of coming at all. I'll hunt you down and punish you if that happens."
Eren climbed on top of Levi and hovered above him. Snarling playfully, he whispered, "You will not need to hunt me. Ich bin der Jäger. I am the Hunter."
Levi raised his eyebrow in challenge. "Does that make me your prey?"
Eren gave a playful lick to his lips. "Only if I can devour you."
Levi shook his head. "What a naughty boy!"
Eren laughed, and he leaned down to kiss Levi. He loved this feeling, and he knew deep in his heart that he would miss it severely. It put a sting to these sweet moments. While he still could, he wanted to be selfish, even if Levi called him a brat.
"Just a little more."
His mouth did not wait for permission before smothering Levi down into the pillow in a powerful kiss. Levi threaded his fingers through Eren's damp hair and pulled him in even deeper, plunging his tongue into his mouth.
A spike of emotion hit Levi hard, the looming grief of loss was right there on the edge of his mind, and he felt a blend of fear, denial, and anger. He did not want to lose this man, and he was enraged that the world could be so cruel as to separate them right as he felt like he could fully open up his heart.
Would Eren find someone else while they were apart? Would he end up with Louise? Even if it was purely to hide his homosexuality, he might take her as his wife, bring her back to Germany, and live happily together on the North Sea. Levi felt furious at the idea.
Another sin, Levi thought to himself. Wrath!
Levi suddenly grabbed Eren and flipped him flat on his back, caging him in with his arms. He hated that he already felt jealous, and they were not even apart yet.
He demanded in a harsh whisper, "Don't touch anyone else while I'm gone."
Eren's arms tightened around him. "What are you talking about? Of course I won't!"
"That includes that woman. Louise. Don't—"
He cut off his words and sank back down onto Eren's chest. He should not be angry. Eren had never done anything but be loyal to him
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't demand something like that. You might be forced to—" His throat choked up. Just a few days ago, he had told Eren that he would forgive him if he had to have sex with a woman, if it was a matter of making sure the military thought he was a heterosexual man.
Now, he felt such rage at the idea.
He wanted to assure Eren, it was okay if he had no choice, if it was necessary to stay safe and stay alive, but it hurt too much to even think about that. He was losing this man, and there was no guarantee of what the future might bring.
He had learned the hard way, not all promises could be kept.
Eren softly took Levi by the chin and lifted his face. He saw the anguish, and it made his eyes burn as well. He understood how Levi felt, and he wanted to assure him it would be okay.
"Whatever the future holds, just know this: I am all yours. Exclusively!"
Levi mumbled, "That's too big of a word for a brat like you."
Eren smiled and retorted, "A big word for a big promise. I will be loyal to only you. I will seek you out, hunt you down, and when I find you," he said with a smirk, "I will claim you."
Those words thrilled Levi and riled him up. "Fuck!" he snarled, and he tackled Eren down, aggressively kissing him.
Their limbs wrapped around each other to pull in closer. Their bodies practically merged, they were so close. The looming sense of desperation stirred up a desire to binge on each other while they still could.
Another sin, thought Levi. Gluttony!
He was a glutton for Eren's kisses, and he wanted to indulge.
Slowly, desperation faded back into passive longing, and their kisses came slower. They gazed into each other's eyes, only to lean in together and kiss some more.
As dangerous as this was, they were both happy to have found one another, to have fallen for each other, and to have these last precious hours before they were forced apart.
Levi settled down on top of Eren, pressed his ear to his chest, and listened to the beating of his heart as it ticked away their last moments together.
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I got a lovely piece of fan art by bloodycappucci1 on Twitter. - https://twitter.com/bloodycappucci1/status/1482046055776718858
La grippe espagnole – The French term for the Spanish Flu. While the first wave was similar to the modern flu, the second wave in October 1918 was much deadlier. One in five who contracted the virus died, and it could kill a person within 24 hours. In France, an estimated 240,000 died from the H1N1 virus, or one in 500. Some of the more famous French victims were Guillaume Apollinaire, one of the foremost poets of the early 20th century, and Cyrano de Bergerac playwright, Edmond Rostand. Mitigation measures sound rather familiar to us today: face masks, social distancing, and quarantine.
- https://www.france24.com/en/20180321-history-wwi-health-spanish-flu-pandemic-century-grief-added-grief-world-war-france-usa
Catholics and Condoms – On New Year's Eve 1930, the Roman Catholic Church banned artificial means of birth control, including condoms, diaphragms, cervical caps, douches, suppositories, and spermicides. According to Church doctrine, tampering with the natural journey of sperm during intercourse interferes with God's will and is tantamount to murder. Using condoms is "a grave sin" and grounds for excommunication. Despite this, 98% of professed Catholics in America admit they've used contraceptives. (And how many of those same Catholics are opposed to the less-severe "sin" of being homosexual, hmm?)
- https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/americanexperience/features/pill-catholic-church-and-birth-control
- https://www.guttmacher.org/article/2012/02/guttmacher-statistic-catholic-womens-contraceptive-use
America itself has not been attacked" – Well, actually … Japan did attack the contiguous United States (as in, the land smashed between Canada and Mexico) although most of them were minor attacks, only one resulted in fatalities, and the U.S. Office of Censorship ordered the media not to publish reports for fear it might cause panic. Therefore, Eren would not have known about these attacks. Indeed, most Americans have never heard of them, unless you live nearby. By pure chance, I've lived near all three of the West Coast attacks.
On February 23, 1942, a Japanese submarine slipped into the channel at Santa Barbara, California, and launched 16 shells at Ellwood Oil Field before submerging and fleeing to the open ocean. There was structural damage but no fatalities. News leaked out and led to a panic. The following day was the infamous "Battle of Los Angeles," where a weather balloon caused all artillery batteries around the Los Angeles area to open fire. Then the military told the public that there were no Japanese aircraft, some speculated this was a cover-up. Although future reports were cover-ups, in this case an investigation after the war showed that it really was nothing more than a weather balloon that got blown off course and exacerbated "war nerves" from paranoid soldiers. (This inspired Steven Spielberg's hilarious movie "1941" starring Dan Aykroyd, John Belushi, John Candy, Ned Beatty, and Christopher Lee.)
On June 21, 1942, a Japanese submarine carefully followed fishing vessels in order to avoid minefields, made its way to the Columbia River right between Oregon and Washington State, and surfaced near Fort Stevens, an Army base that overlooks the Pacific Ocean. In the middle of the night, the Japanese submarine fired shells upon the fort. The commander of Fort Stevens realized that the Japanese were shooting blind in the night. He reasoned that the muzzle flashes of the fort's guns would light up their positions, so he ordered his men not to return fire. The plan worked, and the only thing the Japanese hit was a nearby baseball field.
Side note: I currently live near Fort Stevens, so allow me to expand a little: this antiquated Civil War era fort seems like a strange place for the Japanese to attack, but it was a strategic target. It guarded the river heading to Portland, one of the largest ship-building yards in America during WWII. That was definitely something the Japanese wanted to shut down. Further upriver is Bonneville Dam; at the time, this was the largest dam in the world and provided electric energy to much of the Pacific Northwest. Bombing the dam would knock out power to the shipyards in Portland. Since Fort Stevens defends the mouth of the river where many of America's naval ships were sailing out to join the war effort, it was an important spot for the Japanese to weaken. If they could have destroyed the fort, more submarines could have used the mouth of the river to wreck havoc on the shipyards and destroy the American navy at its womb. After the war, the fort was decommissioned, and today Fort Stevens State Park is one of America's largest public campgrounds, with tent sites, deluxe cabins, a historic shipwreck that washed ashore, a military museum with displays from the Civil War to World War II, and underground tours of the military battery. For a history nerd like me, this is a fun place to go.
While submarines had a long journey across the Pacific Ocean, using up precious oil that the Japanese lacked, and then they could only get in a few hits before trying to flee back to Japan, there was another option: fire balloons, or "Fu-Go" in Japanese. These were 70-foot-tall high-altitude balloons (21 meters) filled with 50 pounds (22.68 kilos) of explosives. They would float across the Pacific Ocean using the jet stream and pop after three days, hopefully causing damage to a city or, since the Pacific Northwest is mostly forests, spark a forest fire to destroy the timber industry in America and divert resources away from the war.
Hundreds of these explosive balloons were spotted along the coast and as far east as Michigan. The Air Force took care of most of them, but a few actually landed and caused explosions. In Medford, Oregon, one fire balloon blew up near some workers, although none were injured. The U.S. Office of Censorship ordered the media not to publish reports of these explosions.
Then tragedy struck in Bly, Oregon, on May 5, 1945. Reverend Archie Mitchell, his pregnant wife Elsie, and five children from Rev. Mitchell's Sunday school class were on a picnic in the mountains. The children wandered off with Elsie while Rev. Mitchell parked the car. He heard them shouting that they had come across a huge balloon. Mitchell had heard about the fire balloons and urgently shouted not to touch it. It was too late, and a massive explosion instantly killed Elsie and the children. It blew debris up to 120 meters around and left a meter-deep crater. Although this rural community was in shocked grief, the government once again ordered a blackout of any details about the explosion, fearing public panic. Today, this is a well-known piece of Oregon history, with a memorial to honor them. Their deaths are considered the only combat casualties to occur on U.S. soil during World War II.
So technically mainland America was attacked, but it was never invaded. The damage was nowhere near as tragic as the utter devastation that burned across Europe, and Eren would not have known about this since the U.S. government covered it up until after the war was over.
- https://www.history.com/news/5-attacks-on-u-s-soil-during-world-war-ii
- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bombardment_of_Fort_Stevens
- https://www.historynet.com/built-during-the-civil-war-but-shelled-by-the-japanese.htm
- https://www.oregonencyclopedia.org/articles/balloon_bombs
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Dangerous Territory