Adult-FanFiction.org : Anime

Fight Me, Bite Me	By : Rhov Category: +. to F > Fairy Tail Views: 39446 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 3
Disclaimer: Fairy Tail is the property of Hiro Mashima. I make no money, I just do this for my own pleasure.

Chapter List
- 63
- 64
- 65
Chapter 64
A Demon to be Slayed
Gray sat at Fairy Tail's bar, staring blankly ahead, not even aware of his drink slowly melting away. Mira wiped glasses dry and watched him with a frown of empathy. She had tried to get him to talk, but without success. Both Lucy and Juvia had tried to approach him and were coldly turned away. The fact that Natsu had not been into the guild in two days showed that something must have happened between the two of them.
The doors bashed open, and Gray looked around with momentary hope. However, it was not the rambunctious pink-haired Dragon Slayer. It was a different one.
"Laxus, drink with me," Cana shouted out.
Like a blond deity, Laxus marched in with his Thunder God Tribe following just behind. Mira immediately pulled out the good whiskey.
"Welcome back, Laxus," she said, already pouring his favorite drink. "The mission went well, I presume."
He grunted as if it was no problem at all. Knowing the power of this team, it was probably settled in mere minutes.
Evergreen and Bickslow sat to the left of Laxus, Freed on his right, ever loyal and close, which put him right beside Gray.
Mira went up to the green-haired swordsman with a sweet smile. "What will it be, Freed?"
"A martini," he replied.
Mira giggled as if she should have expected such a sophisticated drink from him, and she set about pulling forth the gin and vermouth to make it.
Freed nodded genteelly to Gray, who tipped his glass back at him. A minute later, Mira returned with the delicate martini glass topped with two olives. Freed sipped it, and he hummed with satisfaction. No one made martinis quite like Mira. Satisfied, he looked over to Gray.
"Did anything interesting happen while we were gone?"
Gray was hunched over his drink as he shrugged. "No, not really."
Freed stopped in the middle of another sip and pulled the martini away from his lips. "Are you all right?"
"Yeah…" Gray replied in a surly mutter.
"You know, I worked as a bartender at Blue Pegasus for a while. I can tell when something is bothering people." Freed glanced behind the bar, his eyes met Mira's, and he saw the worried expression she had as she mixed together Bickslow's drink. "You're not telling it to Mira," he deduced, "so I have to assume it's about Natsu."
Gray cringed down. Seriously, how was it so easy to guess?
Freed drank some more, watching all the facial expressions. "If you don't feel comfortable opening up to a woman, you can always talk to me."
Talk to Freed? He and the rest of the Raijinshuu used to hate hanging out at the guild, and Freed would avoid the members of Fairy Tail, staying right beside Laxus instead. Gray had never really gotten to know the Raijinshuu until Laxus caused havoc a few years ago, and he did not exactly hang out with them or go out of his way to chat with them. As nice as it would be to talk about this with someone other than his therapist, it was crowded in the hall now, Laxus kept glancing over at Freed—was that jealousy in his eyes?—and then there was Mira who kept looking back at Gray in worry.
"Thanks, but no."
"Not here, right?" Again, Freed somehow could tell what the real issue was, and it made Gray shiver. "I told you, I was a bartender, I can tell in your eyes." He finished his martini. "Come with me."
As he stood up, Laxus grabbed Freed's arm and stared at him hard. Freed smiled back and patted his gripping hand. Without a word, he reassured the Lightning Dragon Slayer that there was nothing to be jealous about, he would be back soon. Freed walked away, and for a moment Gray just watched, slightly stunned.
"The hell ya doing with your mouth opened that stupidly?" Laxus snapped, jolting Gray out of his daze. "Freed wants to help you, so you'd better listen to him." He grumbled into his whiskey, "Someone like you doesn't deserve advice from someone as smart as him."
It was more of a threat than prompting, so Gray hurried to catch up with Freed's smoothly sliding stride. They went through hallways and into a cavern of shelves.
"Huh? The library?"
Freed waved for him to continue following. They went all the way to the back and into a room that took a key to open. Gray had seen that door, but it was a library; he had not exactly been interested in locked rooms that probably just led to more books. Sure enough, the room Freed opened had shelves, but instead of being crammed with books, these were set up special, with each book protected by magical barriers.
"No one comes back here but me and Levy these days," Freed explained, walking over to a stand where three old books sat open with a bubble of blue magic keeping them safe from dust and moisture damage. "This room has many ancient books; some of them predate the Magic Council, so it's shielded by powerful magic that can withstand just about any attack. Each time this guild has been destroyed, this particular room and the books sheltered inside went unscathed. I even added to the warding. For one, no wizard with a fire ability is allowed to get within two meters of the door. They develop an innate feeling of disinterest, aversion, they'll think someone is calling them so they turn around and instantly forget about the room. Rather than simply blocking them from entering, which would make a curious person even more intent on breaking in, they are repulsed from entering, both mentally and emotionally. I added that one specifically because Natsu kept trying to sneak in and I was worried that he'd burn the books just for fun. Levy also added soundproofing so she could read some of the books aloud and not inadvertently turn a person into a toad or whatever. Once the door is shut, the magic cast inside cannot escape. Take a book out without specific permission from the Master, alarms will go off and runes will erect around the person trying to steal the book. We admittedly went overboard, as Fairy Tail tends to do, but when it comes to knowledge, I think that protectiveness is warranted, if not mandatory."
"Your point?" Gray asked, not exactly interested in stealing old books.
"We can talk here, Natsu will never even get close, nor can he barge in. No one, not even a Dragon Slayer, can hear your voice, and trust me, their hearing is better than they let on. Do you want to talk now?"
Gray turned aside and rubbed the back of his neck. Suddenly, studying some ancient book seemed more desirable than talking about his problems.
"It's … kind of embarrassing."
"It's about Natsu," Freed stated, then smirked slightly. "Probably sexual in nature."
Gray jolted. "Wha-…?"
"You're very easy to read."
He spun away. Dammit, what could he even say? If he lied, Freed could probably figure it out. Did he dare to tell the truth? How much could he divulge and not hurt Natsu's reputation. "He has … this issue. He … he doesn't like to masturbate."
Freed nodded thoughtfully. "Just in front of you?"
"No, like at all. He's never done it, ever, in his life."
"Really?" Freed looked shocked by the news, but unruffled. "Well, I knew he was a bit innocent, but something like that… Is he perhaps just telling you that out of embarrassment?"
"No. He won't. He can't."
"Could it be because of his magic? Maybe the heat in his hand burns his sensitive skin. Laxus had that issue—" Freed cut off sharply and choked back anything more.
"Laxus?"
Freed looked awkward now. "The friction, the electricity … you know. He has to wear a condom. The latex stops the electricity from zapping him until he's too numb to feel his own hand."
Just the idea of Laxus jerking off with a condom on while his hand sent sparks everywhere made Gray's cheeks hot. Then he slid a suspicious glance over to Freed. "How do you know—"
"Anyway!" he shouted.
Gray could take a few guesses, and he decided not to push the matter. "No, it's not because of the heat of his hand. He actually can touch himself, and he can touch me. He just can't jerk himself off. I don't even know what it is. He freaks out at me merely suggesting it. He just … panics. We got into an argument over it."
"Ah, now we're coming to something."
Gray slumped into a chair in front of one of the many desks holding books that were older than him, older than this guild, older than perhaps the entire kingdom. "I just want to help him. Natsu has … issues … and we've been working through them, but this one … it's almost like he doesn't want to work through it."
"You've offered?"
"Many times."
Freed rubbed his chin and thought about it. "Maybe just let him have that as a limit."
"Yeah, I offered to do that, but he said he wants to get over it. I've tried a few different things that I thought might help, but he still panicked. I pushed him too far a couple days ago, and he got so mad … I seriously thought he was going to attack me. Whatever is going on with him, this is a really serious problem, an issue he needs to deal with. We've tackled other issues he has, other fears. This one, though … I have a bad feeling that it's something at the base of everything else that's troubling Natsu. Fearing pleasure, fearing his own strength, needing to be immobilized, unable to touch himself … I don't know what this is all about, but it all ties in together."
Freed looked deeply worried. "Just how many problems does he have?"
"A lot," Gray sighed. "We both do."
"Well, we're Fairy Tail wizards. I think it comes with the job."
"Could be. I want to help him, but I can't force him."
"Well, you could," Freed said with a smug chuckle. "There are always ways to force a person into doing something they don't want to do, acting in ways they normally wouldn't. That's my specialty, after all."
Gray glared at him. "Yes, I remember Fantasia, making friends fight one another."
Freed sighed and shook his head. "Not one of my best moments," he admitted contritely. "All I'm saying is you could set up a situation that would make Natsu more than eager to explore his own body."
Gray had a bad feeling about that, though. "I don't know. As much as I really think he needs to get over this to move ahead and be okay with himself, I don't want him to freak out. That's the last thing I want. And I can't force him. That would be just shitty."
"Make it his own choice. You won't be forcing him, not directly. You'll be setting up a situation to make it his choice, and to make him eager to carry out that action. But it will be his choice in the end."
Natsu, eager to touch himself? Could there really be a way to shove aside the fears and let Natsu bask in pure pleasure, to suspend the negative emotions, if only for a few minutes? If so, this was a miracle cure!
But if not, this was sure to end in disaster.
"Damn, I don't know," Gray whispered, poking at one of the blue magic shields around a book written in a language he did not recognize.
"It's just a recommendation. I could teach you the runes. I think you'd like them anyway," Freed said with a lascivious chuckle. "Consider this my present in celebration of your engagement."
"Wh-wh-what?" Gray shouted, slamming his hand on the magic shield and instantly getting zapped by it. He shook his stinging hand out and said firmly, "We're not engaged."
Freed looked confused. "I heard something about a bracelet."
Gray looked at the stinging hand and the metal braid with three stones. "It's a promise bracelet, not an engagement anything."
"I see. Well then, consider it a belated one-year-anniversary-promise … whatever. A gift. I'll teach you, you can use it or not. You can even use it on yourself." He added slyly, "Natsu might like that."
Natsu would like it? "What does it do?"
Freed took out a piece of paper and a quill to draw a picture of a bed looking straight down, and around the bed were strange symbols. "First, you set runes around a bed or couch, somewhere they will be lying down. It'll immobilize a person except for their head, hips, and their dominant hand. You then write a rune directly onto the person: their chest, their head, the bottom of their foot, anywhere works, even through clothing." He wrote the rune in the middle of the bed. "It's a spell for incredibly intense pleasure. In fact, it's the strongest Pleasure rune in existence, so I don't use it too often because it can be addictive. It will last as long as you want, and you banish it by smearing the rune, breaking the sigil. While under that magic, a person feels like they're on the cusp of coming. But, the pleasure rune is specific, and they cannot come unless they themselves are touching their genitals."
"What?"
"It forces the person to masturbate. It leaves them in the apex of pleasure until they fulfill their own need. Someone else touching doesn't work. It has to be their own hand. When you combine it with the runes to immobilize, the result is … quite delectable. You could also use it in another way, since it works only if you touch yourself. You could write it on both people and fuck each other for hours on end, never coming, that pleasure lasting and lasting, until you finally decide to end it and masturbate together. Think about it: you and Natsu could rub each other, suck on one another, ride or be ridden for hours, but you won't come until it's your own hand stroking. Add in a bit of bondage, and trust me, it's incredible."
"Shit." An erotic wave tingled down Gray's spine as he imagined it. "Um … how do you even know a magic like that?"
The domineering look on Freed's face was one Gray had seen in himself when facing Natsu. "Because I like to force people to do my bidding."
Gray's mouth dropped as that low voice sent a chill over his skin. "You're … a sadist?"
For a moment, the eye hidden behind Freed's hair glowed menacingly. "You have no idea."
Gray gulped hard. Instinctively, he felt that everything he did with Natsu, all the BDSM they had been experimenting with, was mere child's play for this older, more experienced man who hid behind sophistication and adherence to rules. Gray may have his ice handcuffs and frozen dildos, but Freed's magic was specifically designed to affect the nerves and emotions of others. Pleasure, pain, humiliation, immobilization, asphyxiation, tingling every nerve in the body, forbidding a person from coming, reducing them to his personal slave, all of that was as easy as drawing a rune on his lover and watching the person become completely and utterly under his control.
Freed gave a curt laugh at the astonishment on Gray's face. "You're one, too."
Gray stiffened and nearly choked. How had he figured it out? Would he tell anyone? Shit!
"I recognized the bruises on Natsu right from the start, before you even announced being a couple. Don't worry, I know what it's like, needing to keep that side of you hidden from the world. I won't say a word, but if you ever want to talk, discuss techniques … there aren't many people I can talk to in this guild about … that sort of thing."
"I suppose … it would be nice, getting some advice once in a while. Uh … do you have a book of magic just on sex?"
Freed chuckled slyly. "I have many!"
"Wow." Gray breathed hard to calm himself down. He had often wanted to buy books on using magic during sex, but they were extremely hard to find.
"Do you want me to teach you?"
"Whoa, uh … no. I'm exclusive."
"I don't mean hands-on training. I can teach you how to write the runes, nothing more."
"Oh. Okay, yeah. I mean, even if I just use it on myself and let Natsu have his fun, it might be a good thing to try out."
"Well, that's the pleasure rune. It's a bit harder, since it casts directly onto the person. A broader circle of runes is something anyone with magic can draw. I've even taught Laxus a few, and teaching him anything is a real chore."
"So the one that goes around the bed basically binds him without rope?"
"Is that what you use? Rope?"
Gray cringed. "Ah!"
"I would have thought you'd use your ice."
"I … I do," Gray said with extreme hesitancy. "Handcuffs of ice usually. A few times, I've completely encased Natsu in a block of ice."
"Mmm, that sounds deliciously painful."
Gray laughed awkwardly. He rarely talked about his sex life to anyone at all, so telling this to Freed, whom he did not know well outside of the guild, was weird. However, he saw in this refined gentleman a sadist like himself, and that was now a secret the two of them shared.
"Yes, so … there are two sets of runes." He pointed back to the paper he had drawn on. "The pleasure rune can be used at any time. The other is far more specific and should be around a bed. It immobilizes the limbs except one arm, the hips so he can thrust into his own hand, and the head so the victim can talk. I designed the rune myself. Ah, but make sure you're outside of the rune circle before you activate it, or else you'll be paralyzed as well. You don't want you both to be immobilized like that. Or maybe you do."
"And he'll be okay? He'll feel just pleasure."
"Intense pleasure and happiness. It should feel like a dream come true, and he'll feel compelled to touch himself. Not even extreme embarrassment can stop him. Once, as revenge against someone who insulted Laxus, I cast that rune on a man while he was at his wedding reception. He began to jerk off right there, in front of his in-laws and his new wife."
"Freed, that's horrible!"
"Mmm, I know," he said with a devilish chuckle. "I heard they divorced the very next day. No one insults Laxus and gets away with it."
Gray shivered that Freed's sadistic streak went beyond the bedroom and into even casual revenge. "I don't know about forcing Natsu like that. I mean, this is a really serious issue. He freaked out; he was crying about it. Still, he said he wants to get over it. He was more scared that I was there, I think. He said he was terrified of flipping out and hurting me."
"You don't have to be there to watch. You could activate it and leave."
"Yeah, maybe. I think if he could do it, see that it's safe, just once … just once. If it's really, seriously not good … then I don't know. I've told him we could make it a hard limit, I even suggested we could stop sex due to all of his issues, but he seems really determined to fight this."
"He's worried about hurting you? Knowing Natsu's destructiveness, I can understand that. Laxus refused to make friends with me, Bickslow, and Evergreen because he was terrified we might get electrocuted if we fought in his vicinity. It took a long time to convince him he could trust us. Levy said Gajeel was the same way when he first joined Fairy Tail, and it took her years to break through his iron shell."
"Must be a Dragon Slayer thing," Gray muttered.
"Must be. Well, it's your call. You know Natsu better than I do. I don't know what his issue even might be, besides a childhood trauma."
Gray jolted at how close he was. "I just want him to get over it."
"Try it. If it doesn't work, you can stop it at any time."
Gray looked down at the paper and the runes drawn on them. It sounded so simple: cast the pleasure rune, immobilize him, step back and watch him writhing until all he wanted to do was touch himself. If it was an intense enough need, and if Gray was not there to make Natsu feel scared for his safety, maybe it would work. At the worst, it would be too much, and Gray could watch, figure out what the trouble was, and go from there.
"One more thing," he asked Freed. "Do you have a rune to mask a person's smell?"
"Ah yes, the Dragon Slayer nose. I think I have something better. It's a circle of runes; stand within it, and it's like you don't exist. A person can't see you, can't hear you talk, can't smell you, they can even walk through you. It's static, you have to stay within the circle, and once you step out it vanishes, but no one can see, hear, or smell you while you're in there."
"That's perfect."
"I can teach you that as well. Think about it, but at least learn the pleasure rune. You two will definitely enjoy it. I'll prepare instructions for casting the runes."
"Thanks. And don't—"
"I won't tell anyone, so long as you don't tell anyone about me."
"No, I won't." Gray stood, but first he had to find his shirt which had somehow ended up thrown aside and landed on a globe of Earthland. "Um, Freed?" he asked as he buttoned his shirt up. "You and Laxus…"
Freed arched an eyebrow at the hesitant question left hanging. "Yes?"
"Ah, never mind."
He chuckled at Gray's courtesy to not delve into his private business. Few in Fairy Tail would be so considerate. "The answer is yes."
He jolted and almost threw his shirt off again. "Really? He's a … and you two … you … to him?"
"All of the time."
"Oh," he said in a daze. "Okay. Wow. I just can't picture Laxus as a masochist."
"If I may say so, I can't picture Natsu allowing anyone to tie him up, least of all you. People really aren't as they seem in this world, and one's private life is rarely the same as their public life. Now come out before you throw your underwear off as well."
Later that day, Gray rested at home. He had three books he borrowed from Freed, as well as sheets of paper with drawings of the runes. He could practice them later. He was so caught up in a book on manipulating lacrima to make sex toys no one would recognize for playtime in public, he hardly realized how dark it was outside.
He jolted at a knock and hid the book inside the nearest drawer. Gray answered the door and was shocked to see Happy standing there.
"Eh? What's wrong?"
Happy was sobbing. "Gray, you need to come back. Natsu is really sad and he's not eating and he's in one of his moods again where he doesn't want to talk to me about whatever is bothering him and he snapped at me that I was being annoying and Natsu never does that unless he's really, really, really angry. Whatever happened, you gotta fix it. I don't care if you do something naughty to make him happy, I don't mind anymore, just please, make him happy again, Gray."
"Whoa, whoa, easy there." Gray ushered Happy inside before his neighbors heard any of this. "Slowly now. What's wrong with Natsu?"
"That's the thing. I don't know, and he won't talk to me. He broods like this a lot lately, his eyes look different, and he looks both angry and scared, but I never know why, and he won't tell me anything. He talks to you, though. I hear you two talking late at night sometimes. Natsu really, really loves you, so he'll tell you what's wrong. I'll stay here, if you want. I don't think I can be around him when he's like this, anyway. He looks … scary!"
Gray hugged the little Exceed and stroked his head as Happy cried. Was Natsu still upset about earlier? He had hoped that all Natsu needed to do was rage a bit and he would be fine.
"Please, Gray. He needs you. Even I can see that."
Natsu needed him. Gray wanted to run right to that forest house and slay all of Natsu's demons. However, Natsu had sent him away. Maybe leaving him alone was best.
"He cheers up a lot around you."
Gray realized that Natsu also felt worst when being intimate with Gray. If he just stopped making love to Natsu, maybe the nightmares and fears would pass. If he just stayed away…
There was no way Gray could stay away from Natsu. Not anymore. He needed that flame-brain idiot, and he would heal that darkness, definitely!
"Please, Gray. There's gotta be something you can do to help him."
There was, but it might make Natsu hate him. It was a risk. This all went back to him trying to get Natsu to touch himself. That fear needed to be addressed, or else Natsu was going to drive a wedge not only between the two of them, but between himself and Happy as well. Even if it hurt their relationship, there was no way Gray would let Natsu drive Happy away. Natsu would hate himself for that.
No matter what it took, even if he had to be the bad guy and Natsu ended up hating him, he would heal the darkness in his heart so Happy would never run to him crying again.
"Happy, I want you to stay with me tonight. I'll fix you a bed."
"But Natsu!"
"I'll help Natsu, but it has to wait. Make yourself tea and help yourself to any of the food," Gray told him. "I need to prepare something, so don't enter my bedroom. Just stay here."
With that, Gray rushed to his room. He was a Devil Slayer, and he had a demon of the past to battle. He opened the notebook Freed gave him, ready to carefully plan his attack.
Natsu sat by the window, staring sullenly up at the stars. He had gone stargazing with Lucy before. She knew what the constellations were, and even some of the names of individual stars. Natsu had never even known that those dots of light had names before meeting her.
Igneel once told him stars were the souls of deceased dragons. Were the dragons Natsu knew who were now dead somewhere up there in the sky? Was Igneel up there, bright and red and burning? Would Natsu himself end up as a point of light in the sky? Did Dragon Slayers get to become stars, too? Or were those tiny twinkling specks really just balls of gas millions of light-years away?
If he died and became a star, he wanted to be a bright red giant! Lucy talked about twin-star systems, two suns circling one another. He would yank Gray's soul with him into the sky, an ice blue star that would circle next to him, dancing around the heavens for all eternity. The thought of that made Natsu smile lightly.
Natsu knew he needed to apologize to Gray. It was not the ice wizard's fault that Natsu still felt frustrated by his own insecurities.
"Why can't I be normal?" he whispered to himself. His hand drifted up, and he rubbed his throat as the feel of ghostly hands seemed to choke him. "Why can't I just get over it? Dammit, I don't want to be like this. I wish I could just forget it all."
Even Happy took off. Or had he kicked Happy out? He yelled at his best friend. He rarely yelled at Happy, and it showed how messed up his mind was at the moment. If only he could defeat these demons from the past. One day, he would have to tell Gray everything that happened … even that.
It made him shiver and feel sick to his stomach.
If he told Gray the truth, it would all change. They could never go back to how they used to be. Gray might never be able to forgive him.
No! He couldn't risk it.
"Just forget it all," he whispered.
He wandered out into the night and back into Magnolia. He sniffed and followed a scent to a small house not far from where Lucy lived. He knocked on the door, and a man with a scar on his face answered already dressed for bed.
Mest's eyes widened. "Natsu? It's late. What's wrong?"
"Erase my memory," he blurted out.
Mest cringed back at the request. "You know I don't do that anymore."
"I know, but it's urgent. I can't live with this memory anymore." Natsu's hands clenched so hard, the knuckles turned white and his arms trembled. "It's devouring me inside. I can't live with it."
Mest frowned to see him so upset. He looked aside, ready to just say no, but then he looked back down at the Dragon Slayer in pity. Memories were such haunting things at times. He knew that better than anyone.
"Memory control works like a charm. If anyone who knows of the event reminds you, the magic instantly wears off. You'll remember again. Do many other people know about whatever you want to forget?"
"Not really. A few. Only four people in Fairy Tail. You can go ahead and erase their memories as well."
"Not without permission. Look, this is a serious thing to do, and I won't do it to an ally without permission from Master Makarov."
Natsu flinched at the name, and Mest caught it immediately.
"Don't tell me: one of the people who knows is the Master."
Natsu frowned and looked aside rather than answer.
"Forget it." He began to shut the door.
"No, wait! Gramps might be okay with me forgetting. He let me forget for years, never reminded me. Hell, he might have helped in making me forget, except I don't remember you doing it."
"No, I only ever erased my own existence from the minds of Fairy Tail members. What you're asking for is a magic that should only be used to aid the guild, not for personal reasons."
"It might protect the guild, or at least certain members of it," Natsu admitted darkly.
That made Mest hesitate again. Just what was this crazy punk hiding? "It won't erase whatever happened. Are there people who could suffer if you forget?"
"No … well, maybe one family, but I've hurt them enough already. They don't need me making amends anymore."
"Like I said, memory control is negated if someone else reminds you of the memory."
"That happened once already, although the memory came back on its own. That's what's screwing me up now. I don't want to remember. At all. I want it blocked again."
"Think long and hard about this, Natsu."
"I have been, and I'm certain about it."
Mest frowned, but he sighed at how determined Natsu looked. This boy really did not budge once his mind was made up.
"See me at the guild in the morning. I'm too tired to do it safely now."
Natsu perked up. "You'll remove the memory?" he asked hopefully.
"If it's causing you this much distress and could harm others, then I will talk to Master Makarov about it. If he says no, then I won't do it. If he's okay with the procedure, though, I will cast the spell."
"That's great!"
Mest truly was curious what Natsu was hiding to make him look so excited to forget. For most people, having their memories erased or even just altered was one of the most terrifying magic abilities in the world. Makarov was especially wary of it, and Mest knew not to abuse the magic, like he used to as a child when he was a thief who made people forget he was ever there, or changed their memories to make the target think Mest was a good friend and simply give him whatever it was he wanted.
Makarov made him swear not to change memories of any ally. Although Natsu was giving him permission, he would also need to warn whoever knew this secret that Natsu wanted to be erased.
"Name everyone who knows."
Natsu nodded dutifully and counted off on his fingers. "Gramps, Gildarts, Porlyusica, Loke…"
"Loke?" he asked in shock. The other three made sense, but Mest barely even knew Loke besides that playboy who always had a girl or five hanging on him.
"Two nurses and some other people I haven't even seen since it happened … oh, and my therapist."
"Ther- … therapist?" Mest was even more disturbed now. This was a memory so bad, Natsu was actually seeing a therapist to help. Of all the crappy things that had happened to them over the years … seriously, what could top all that?
"Can you do it?" Natsu asked seriously.
Mest was still stunned by all this. "Like I said, I have to ask Master Makarov. I need his permission first. If he says yes … it's your memory, I suppose."
"Great. Then I'll see you in the morning. Seriously, Mest, this will be a big help for me. I can't wait to forget it all." With a wave, Natsu took off into the night.
Mest shook his head as he watched the pink hair fade into the shadows. "Seriously, what happened to him?"
Natsu returned home in better spirits. He would need to apologize to Happy first thing in the morning. He wondered if he should tell Gray about this. Would he be okay with Natsu doing it, or would he urge Natsu not to? Gray might see this as a coward's way out, but Natsu saw it as protecting Gray. If he could forget, he would no longer feel the need to kill. If he did not want to kill whoever was pleasuring him, he could make love freely. If he forgot all that horrific stuff, maybe he could finally take Gray. Forgetting would strengthen their relationship.
Natsu flopped into bed feeling hopeful. The nightmares would stop. The triggers would cease. He would feel normal for the first time in years.
He just needed to forget. Easy!
Exhausted from such an emotional few days, Natsu practically passed out and began to snore.
Gray wondered how Natsu could sleep so hard. He had climbed through the window, almost knocked over a lamp, spent half an hour writing runes around the bed, and still the Dragon Slayer snored. It was still dark, but the sky was fading to a bruised purple. He needed to hurry up and finish his preparation, but he also had to be precise.
Damn, I don't know about this.
He was doing something that went totally against BDSM's cardinal rule of keeping things safe, sane, and consensual. This was absolutely not safe, not since he knew it would trigger Natsu. It was not sane, since it was being forced by magic. Natsu would never agree to this dirt tactic, so it was not even consensual.
Gray felt it was needed, though. It was a drastic move to battle a demon Natsu refused to see.
Let's just do it.
Gray looked down to his notes to be sure this final rune was correct. It was a symbol for pleasure. He had only seconds after writing it to get out of the rune circle, activate it, and hide. It had to be done quickly but with no mistakes.
Gray wrote the word onto Natsu's chest. Then he backed away from the bed and added one final rune to the circle. It glowed for a second, then faded. Natsu stirred at the magical light and moaned Gray's name. The ice wizard scurried back to a corner where he had written the runes that would hide him. They activated the instant he stepped inside. Gray felt nothing weird, but he could see in a mirror across the room, he had vanished from view.
Natsu began to twist in his sleep. "Mmm … Gray. Gray! Stop that … mmm, so good. Oooooh, Gray! Yes, there."
Gray bit his lip. Damn, Natsu sounded hot. He could see the erection already tenting Natsu's boxers and the sheet that covered him.
"No, that … nngh … G-Gray!"
Natsu gasped as he woke up. He stared up at the ceiling, and Gray heard him breathing hard.
"Happy?" he called out. Natsu's face drew up. "Happy? I can't move. Did you do something? Happy? It's not funny." Natsu tried to move, but only his right arm, head, and hips worked. The rest of him was motionless. Panic built as Natsu moved anything he could. "Happy! Help me! I can't move. What … what's going on? I'm hot. So hot." He panted as pleasure tingled everywhere, so intense it hurt to ignore it. "H-Happy? Happy! What is this? Fuck, why do I feel good?" He reached down to the erotic pulsing, but quickly drew his hand away. "Happy! Nnngh! Why is only one hand working?" He began to punch the bed, the headboard, his nightstand, anything in reach. Natsu shouted as the feeling of being immobilized terrorized him. "What the hell is going on? I can't … can't move. Happy! Shit, shit."
In the corner, Gray watched with a sinking heart. He knew Natsu would panic at first. Anyone would at waking up paralyzed. "Natsu, come on. Just touch yourself already."
Natsu reached down again, hurting with the intense pleasure, but he gasped and pulled his hand away. "No … Happy? Happy, where are you? Shit. Gray?"
"No, don't call for me," he whispered in anguish, glad Natsu could not see, hear, or smell him. "Just relax. Break through the darkness and do it. Come on. Be brave."
"Gray?" Natsu called out weakly. He punched the bed again. "Dammit! This is a nightmare, right? Just a nightmare."
"Why is it a nightmare? Come on, it should be feeling good. Just touch yourself already."
Natsu flopped back, and a whimper trembled through the bedroom. "Help…"
Gray had to hold himself back from running to his rescue. "Natsu!"
"It feels good. I … I don't want it to feel good."
"Shit, what's going on?"
Slowly, Natsu's hand went down. His erection was so hard, he had poked right through the opening in his boxers. Cringing, Natsu brought his hand closer.
"Yes, that's it," Gray urged. "Come on, you can do it. I believe in you. Just touch a little. Freed said it doesn't take much, so it should be easy. Please, Natsu, fight it. Defeat it." At last, Natsu's finger wrapped around his cock. "Yeah, that's it, touch it."
Natsu sobbed as pleasure stabbed through his soul. He needed to release, worse than any other time in his life. He could tell he was so close, beyond close. It was ready to burst, but it just wouldn't. A touch; he could sense it. A touch would end it all.
"It's just a dream, just a nightmare."
"No, don't think of it as a nightmare. Fight the darkness, realize it's okay."
"Just a dream. This isn't real. Can't … stop … nngh!" Natsu stroked down the shaft.
"That's it, come on."
"Ahh!" His hand moved up, and his hips thrust on their own, needing this to be faster. "Oh damn, that feels good."
"There you go. Yes, up and down, just like that. You're doing good." Natsu stroked again and moaned so loudly, Gray had to reach down to himself just to tug his clothes into a looser position. "Shit, that really is hot."
"Oh fuck, that's good!" Natsu stroked up and down more steadily now.
"There you go. That's it. Almost there. It should take only a few strokes."
Natsu suddenly slammed his hand down, thrusting hard into his fingers. He seethed in intense rage, "I hate you."
Gray had begun to stroke himself to the scene of Natsu masturbating, but those three words shocked him out of any pleasure. "What?"
Natsu was stroking vigorously now, dripping thickly. With each stroke, he shouted, getting louder and more fatalistic. "I hate you. I hate you. I hate you!"
"Shit!" Gray could not stand watching this anymore. It was too much, too far. He rushed out of the runes and to the bed. "Natsu! You can stop. I'm sorry, this was a bad idea. Fuck. I'll undo it."
Natsu snarled with wide, terrified eyes, wild and so tense, Gray worried that the gritting jaw might shatter Natsu's teeth.
"I'll free you. I'm so sorr- …"
As soon as the circle of rune restraints around the bed were gone, Natsu leaped off the mattress and slammed Gray to the floor.
"I hate you. I'll kill you!" Flames sheathed his fist, and he slammed it into Gray's face. "I'll fucking kill you, bastard." He punched twice more, and a tooth in Gray's mouth cracked. "I'm gonna kill you!"
His hands wrapped around a neck. He could squeeze. Squeeze and squeeze. He knew he could. This was so familiar.
"Na- … Nat-…"
Gray reached up, but he could not get a good grip of Natsu's arms, not enough to free himself. He tried to hit Natsu instead, fight him off, but his head was growing dizzy with lack of air. Natsu was not just choking him; it felt like he was trying to completely crush Gray's throat in on itself.
"Stop. Get … off."
Natsu was so insane with blood-lust, he did not even try to stop Gray's hands from slapping and clawing at his face. Instead, he squeezed tighter. His nails dug into the flesh. Blood. A scream. The warm red liquid flowed over his hands as he clawed into flesh. He could tear this head off. Just rip it off. He could do it. He could end it!
Gray felt his mind blacking out. Not sure if it would work, he reached Natsu's chest and wiped the pleasure rune off. That shocked Natsu just long enough for Gray to break free out of the strangling hold and scuttled away.
Then something icy slammed into the back of Natsu's head. A frozen hammer had pounded into him. Natsu shook out the stars dancing in his eyes, and then he crouched, ready to attack again. He heard his victim coughing hoarsely, struggling to breathe through a crushed throat. Good! He would rip that head off this time. Tear it off!
"Natsu."
"I'll fucking kill you!"
"Beloved."
Natsu froze at that word. Beloved? This man was anything but that. Who called him beloved?
A name involuntarily came to his lips. "Kainushi?"
The red haze of the past drifted away. He saw not that vile man, but Gray scuttled back against the wall, his face a bloody mess, deep bruises on his throat, and his hand up with an icy shield protecting him from more attacks. He huddled behind the shield, a bloody and beaten mess, gasping raspily for air as his crushed throat began to swell.
The flashback left Natsu disoriented. Where was he? Why was Gray there? Why did he smell blood? "Gray, what the hell just happened?"
Gray wheezed at every breath. The cartilage in his throat had been crushed inward, and the skin around his neck was torn from Natsu's clawing. Lines of blood dripped down, and fierce bruises were already darkening his throat. He coughed, but that sent blinding pain through his whole neck and down his spine. Blood spilled out of his swollen mouth and dripped from a crooked, broken nose.
"Sorry … my fault … just thought…" He slumped over.
"Gray!"
Natsu scuttled back. No! He had attacked Gray. He had tried to kill Gray. Just like his nightmares, he had attacked and tried to kill him.
"Oh no. No, no, no," he whispered in horror.
Natsu's hand went up to his mouth, trying to hold back screams and vomiting, but he tasted blood on his fingers. Gray's blood, and still tainted with the taste of himself. His marked mate!
"Dammit, no. Gray?"
Gray struggled just to breathe, and his words faltered through damaged vocal chords as blood began to puddle on the floor. "Are … are you … sane?"
"Yeah. Yeah, I'm … oh shit," Natsu said numbly. He had almost killed the man he loved!
"I just … thought I'd help." Gray winced as talking and breathing hurt. "I did it to you again. Just can't get it right. Maybe … whole thing … bad idea."
"Gray? What are you saying?"
His eyes began to roll back. "Sorry. I'm so sorry." Suddenly, he toppled over, and the ice shield crumbled to snow around him.
"Gray!" In horror, Natsu raced over and listened to his breathing. It was faint, wheezy, but still at least air was moving. "Shit! I didn't mean … goddammit!" Gray could not hear him anyway. He needed medical help.
Natsu tossed his clothes on in a rush. He carefully lifted Gray into his arms, trying to support his neck as much as possible. Then he raced out of the house and into the moonlit forest.
He did not know this route well, but he had been along it a couple of times, enough to follow the scent. He raced through darkness, past hooting owls and fluttering moths. He leaped over a fallen log, but slowed down when Gray's head shook too much. Even in the darkness, he saw the blood on Gray, blood he normally loved to smell, except now it made him sick. The unconscious face and wheezing breaths drove him onward with a sense of dire urgency.
Finally, he came to a small forest house. He kicked the door instead of knocking.
"Porlyusica!" he screamed.
A minute later, the door opened and the ancient healer looked out with dark, sleepy bags under her eyes. "Do you have any idea…?"
"Please, I might have really killed him," Natsu cried out in hysterics.
Porlyusica saw the terror in Natsu's wet eyes. Then she smelled the stench of blood from the man he was holding. She nodded at him to come inside. As Natsu walked by, flames instantly lit every candle and lamp in the house. The healer looked at the lambent light and wondered when Natsu had learned how to do that. Maybe he did not even know he could.
Natsu was careful as he put Gray on the examination table. The bleeding had almost stopped, but his throat looked even more swollen now. Gray's breaths wheezed out with a sickening sound of struggling.
"Strangled?" Porlyusica asked, seeing the condition and immediately getting to work.
"I didn't mean it," Natsu said, hugging his arms as he shivered with dread. "I didn't. I really didn't."
"Go outside." She hated having a nervous person around her.
Natsu was half-shoved out of the door before it slammed on him. He stood there, staring into the dark night, horrors and nightmares and bloody memories all swirling in his head.
"Gray … dammit, why is this happening again? No. I wanted to forget. I wanted to protect you. I … I can't … not again."
Natsu stomach surged up, and he barely had time to run off to some bushes before he vomited. He had almost killed the man he loved, his marked mate. That name Gray called out to stop him echoed in his mind.
'Beloved … Beloved … Beloved.'
Natsu bent over at the waist again and hurled up whatever he had eaten for dinner. Then he fell to his knees and leaned his head down onto the grass, sobbing uncontrollably.
"Gray! Why you? Why'd I do that to you? Dammit, Gray. I never wanted you to see that. Why? Why did you have to dig it up?"
He looked down at his bloody hands, and Natsu roared in grief and rage.
"Dammit! I wanted to forget. Now I can't. I can't! Because now … now you've seen it. Shit!" He hiccuped his sobs that would not stop. "Why, Gray? Fuck! I didn't want you to know. I don't want you to realize … but I did it to you. I did it to you. Fuck!" He punched the ground with both hands and fell over into the grass. "I'm so sorry, Gray. You'll have to know now … and you'll hate me. You'll hate me and that'll be it. I don't deserve you. Fuck, I don't deserved anyone! Not anymore. Gray … I'm so sorry."
Natsu fell over and curled into a ball. There was no way to hide it anymore. If he erased his memory now, he would not know why he had almost killed Gray. After something like that, Gray had to know the truth.
And telling him the truth was as good as handing back the promise bracelet.
It was over.
As soon as Gray knew what Natsu did in the past, especially after what he just did, how severely he hurt Gray, it would all be over.
End of Chapter 64
A/N: I still have the original ad libbed audio for this made on my phone back in July 2014. That's how long this whole arc has been in my head. Sadly, when it came time to make the actual recording, my neighbors recently moved out and the apartment landlord hired a crew to replace the carpets and vinyl flooring, so there was hammering, chiseling, scrapping, more hammering, for 8 hours straight. I managed to get 40 minutes of recording, but it had to be in between all the construction noise, and the climax of the chapter could not be as loud and vicious as I wanted, since acting out an attempted murder with only a thin wall separating me from a construction crew is probably a good way to get police knocking on your door. I even had to pause the recording because of police sirens and I momentarily wondered if they had called the cops on me, haha! Somehow, I managed to get a viable recording of a scene that has been haunting my mind for years, and now here it is, to haunt yours.
Audio drama: http://chirb.it/vGeBw3
- 63
- 64
- 65
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Fight Me, Bite Me