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Hounds of Winter	By : galynthia Category: +M to R > Nightwalker: Midnight Detective Views: 5786 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Nightwalker: Midnight Detective, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 6
- 7
- 8
Author's Note:

Alaire ve mizza'dyo jurai - "You hold my heart". A sentence used by the dominant mate to express his love for his mate

Laithe ve palalio'dyo jurai - "You are my life" (a more literal (but less romantic) meaning is "you are the one who keeps me alive"). The "ritual" response to "alaire ve mizza'dyo jurai" used by the submissive mate to reciprocate the feelings of the dominant mate.

***
The Hounds of Winter
Chapter 6
By: Delilah deSora

***

Shido yawned and rolled onto his side, cracking open an eye lazily to peer at his companions.

Gaven sat with his back up against the headboard his hands buried in the soft fall of his mate�s hair as Soryo�s head rose and fell rhythmically in his lap. Shido couldn�t find the energy to put up even a halfhearted apt tpt to convince himself to pretend he was embarrassed by the actions of the two mated vampires. He watched impassively as Gaven drew Soryo�s face up to his own and slowly plundered his mate�s mouth. He heard Soryo�s soft purr as the green haired vampire repositioned hif anf and began moving against him in the age-old dance.

Shido was reminded of quiet nights from the past as he watched them. Ephemeral nights that had just been he and Cain. Nights of gentle passion that were not meant for the claiming of territory or the rough antics of two vampires satisfying their bodily needs but rather for soft words and the fulfillment of the soul. Nights that he had forced himself to forget lest they poison his resolve and make his continued flight impossible.

He shivered as Gaven reached up to trace the curves of Soryo�s face, his hazel eyes dark with emotion.

�Alaire ve mizza�dyo jurai, melmae.� Gaven whispered.

Soryo smiled. �Laithe ve palalio�dyo jurai, avraire.�

Shido mouthed Soryo�s answer, feeling the old words form on lips easily. How long had it been since he�d last whispered them to his lover? How long had it been since he and Cain had murmured the eternal endearments to each other? Too long, a part of him insisted. It hurt his heart to hear them and know that they were not meant for him. It huo kno know that once Riho was safely home he would never again hear his mate breath the words that could make his soul feel alive.

He rose silently to keep from disturbing the mates and slipped from the room. He took a bath to wash the scent from his body, using one of Soryo�s robes when he found the scent on his own cloths unbearable. Vampires were fastidious about their bodies, determined to keep all scent from themselves. It was probably a hold over from their more primitive ancestors who needed to keep themselves scent free lest their prey smell them and escape. There really was no need for modern day vampires to obsess so over their own smell but Shido couldn�t bring himself to ignore the habit. If he could smell himself he needed to bath.

As he stepped out of the bath he felt the first warning pulls of the approaching dawn. He recalled Soryo�s claim of he and Gaven playing together for hours during the day and thought better of disturbing them. They would know where he had gone.

Pulling the robe tight around him he moved out into the hall. He passed no one else as he walked and he smiled to himself. He had always liked the hour before dawn when all the other vampires had sensibly returned to their rooms and all the breed had slunk off to whatever shelters they could find.

When he had been very young, less than half a century old, he had driven Cain to distraction by delaying his return to the windowless rooms for as long as he could. He had been forced to find new vantage points to watch the sky be painted with the dawn colors lest his creator drag him back before he had gotten his fill.

He paused before one of the bay windows, pulling back the long curtains. There were no windows in the castle that faced the rising or setting sun and Shido was forced to admire the coloring sky from the side. He watched as the almost frail light slip through the overwhelming black of the night sky until the niwas was forced to retreat and the stars blinked out.

He felt the sun slip over the horizon and he swooned as the sleep of the dead tugged at his soul. Hands caught him and he fell back against his mate�s chest, feeling Cain�s strong arms wrap about him. He smiled faintly, turning to rub his cheek against the golden strands that fell over his shoulder. A soft laugh blew across his damp hair.

He felt Cain slip from behind him, making the simple act of stepping away from him a sensual brush of body on body. His breath caught is tis throat as his mate�s hand ran along the back of his shoulders to his arm. Long fingers lightly ran down his arm, past his elbow, and across the palm of his hand, leaving him reaching out to his mate, their hands almost touching. His mate waited, golden eyes guarded and face carefully neutral.

Shido was frozen with indecision. He knew the moment for what it was. He could either close the small distance between them and reclaim a measure of what had always been rightfully his or he could let the distance stand between them. His mind was drawn back to the recent memory of the dawn�s light. Of how it slipped into the night sky and made tiny cracks between one piece of darkness and another. Such a small thing really, yet one that allowed the ephemeral light to tear the seemingly unmovable night apart.

Green eyes met gold and Shido knew he wasn�t the only one to realize the danger even such a small distance between them represented.

�Why?� He whispered, �Why do pursue this? Why do you let it continue when it can tear you and everything you�ve achieved apart?�

Cain�s face remained impassive. �Because there is nothing else I can do.�

�You could turn me aside, take another who is more willing. You have an entire court of vampires who would fall at your feet and do anything you asked of them.�

�And they would fail me,� his creator replied, �Even I get tired of fawning and flattery. I do not want a mate whose loyalty to me is always in question. There is no deceitfulness in you. I have always known where I stand with you, Shido. You have never played me false. I have never need to wonder if you are truly happy or if it is a mask you wear to hide your feelings from me. You speak your mind and, while there are times I would prefer you didn�t, I need that honesty. I need that strength. I need that challenge.�

Shido shook his head. �You�ve just told me you want a mate who will make your life miserable.�

Cain smiled very faintly. �It is indeed a strange dependence that you inspire within me, melmae.�

�But why me?� Shido demanded, �There is a whole world of potential vampires out there. Surely there is one whom you can train to be your perfect mate.�

�I have already tried to breed the perfect mate, Shido, only to drive him away by my efforts.�

Shido flushed at the memories that dragged up. �Why me?� He asked again.

Cain�s eyes darkened. �You know why,� he replied, his voice nearly a hiss.

�No, Cain, I don�t.�

His mate�s hand fell away. �Then you are a fool!� He snapped, turning on his heel and pacing away.

�Maybe I am, or maybe I need to be told the reasons.� Shido whispered.

Cain froze in mid-step, his back a proud straight column.

Shido took a step towards him but paused on the second. �Maybe that is the reason for all of our troubles. The silence breeds confusion and fear, Cain. I cannot read your mind! That is your gift, not mine. I do not know your thoughts! I cannot see what is so clear to your ancient eyes! I only know what I see.

�Maybe I misunderstand you. Maybe you misunderstand me. Maybe I am fool. Maybe I wasn�t bred to be a vampire. Maybe I was ong ong choice after all.

�You see, Cain? There are too many maybes! Too many half-truths, too many missing pieces. You say you want a mate that will speak his mind; well I am doing so now! Tell me why I should trust my to to you! Tell me why you are so desperate to have me at your side. Tell me why, of all the people in the world, you chose me. Give me those reasons, Cain. Give me back the memories you have stolen from me! If you want me as myself you must give me back myself! I will not close this distance between us as only half a man. I will not close that distance unless it is my choice and mine alone. No lies, no secrets, no coercion.�

They stood in silence for what felt like an eternity before the golden haired vampire sighed and his shoulders slumped. �You ask much from me, melmae,� he help up his hand to stop the words Shido was about to respond with, �and it is not so easy a thing to say as you paint it to be. Come,� he turned and held out his hand, �the day has come and sleep clouds my mind. Tomorrow evening . . . well, we shall see.�

Shido nodded and followed his mate back to the rooms. Cain made no overtures towards him and he found himself missing the feel of the older vampire�dy ady against his as they lay on the large bed. He felt the familiar feelings of loneliness that had plagued him over the last century surface and he turned on his side, hesitantly reaching out to wrap his arm around his creator�s waist. Cain made no move to stop him and he slid a bit closer so he could bury his face against the broad back. He drifted off to sleep amid a curtain of golden hair and surrounded by his mate�s particular scent.

He woke to an empty bed but he could clearly feel his mate in the next room. Rising he dressed slowly before coming to stand in the doorway. Cain sat upon the divan, an empty glass dangling precariously from his fingertips as he stared off into the distance. Shido took the glass from his hand and set it on the low table he passed before seating himself in an old chair that had once been on of his favorite places to curl up and read in. Now, however, he sat straight backed and stiff with anxiousness.

�Will you tell me?� he asked, �Or will this silence continue between us?�

Cain exhaled heavily and shook his head. �I do not know how to answer you, Shido. You ask things that are not easy to explain.�

�Why did you choose me?� Shido asked, �Answer that question first. Out of the entire world, out of the entire city why me? Why take my memories so soon afterwards? Why take away the very thing that singled me out to you in the first place?� A sudden horribly thought occurred to him and he frowned, �or did you not even care? Perhaps you only take me for my appearance?�

His creator�s eyes focused on him, studying him silently for a few minutes. �I will admit,� Cain began slowly, �that your appearance was what caught my eye at first. You are very note-worthy, Shido. Do you remember the first time we met?�

Shido hesitated. �The first memory I have of you was the night when I saw you under the tree with the woman you had killed.�

Cain nodded. �You startled me greatly. I had thought no one would be about at such a late hour, especially with the recent deaths that had occurred in the area. A foolish mistake I would never make now but one that was permissible at a when our kind was feared and people locked their doors and windows come nightfall. She was a sheltered lady who dared the night for a bit of forbidden fun. She had only expected a few kisses and a chance to defy the strict edict of her parents.�

�And you killed her.� Shido accused wearily.

Cain shrugged. �Yes. I had been killing a lot of people in that area and was preparing to move on in a few days. Ah but then I heard you gasp and when I looked up I thought I had been granted a most wonderful gift. Your long hair being teased by the evening wind and those intriguing green eyes, wide with horror. I knew I had to kill you and I won�t lie, once I got over the surprise I looked forward to the chase but you didn�t run from me. You just stood there and I could see you taking everything in, running it over and over in your mind. Before I could decide what to do with a prey frozen in fear I heard others coming and knew I had to either kill you right you away, which would have been a shameful waste, or leave you for another night. I chose to leave you.�

Shido nodded. �I remember. You picked her up and disappeared. But . . . I don�t remember what happened after that.�

�Early the next evening, before the sun had even set, I began searching the city for you but strangely no one I spoke to knew of you. I figured you must not have danced the circles I preferred to play in so I began haunting the middle class society. Still I could not find you. It was most aggravating and I was becoming cross. I wanted to hunt you but I also knew that I could not leave you alive for long, not after having seen my face.

�Two weeks went by and I had all but given you up for lost. There were rumors of a devil that haunted the city after dark but none spoke of me. I eventually passed you off as a visitor who had moved on to a different city. You must imagine my surprise when I practically stumbled across you at the wedding party of some high-class lady. I asked about you and the lady�s sycophants were more than happy to gossip.�

�What did they say?� Shido demanded when Cain had fallen silent.

His creator sighed. �You were the son of one of the local priests. I assumed then that I had not seen you before because I stayed away from the churches but they laughed at that and were more than eager to inform me how wrong I was. You were the scandal of your family. You had been sent off to some university or other only to return with notions of god and the devil that the church did not approve of.

�It seems you were quite outspoken against certain practices and beliefs which caused a great rift between you and your father. Your words made certain high ranking individuals look askin at your father and, when he could not beat you into submission, he had you committed to one of the church hospitals. I will not go into what was done in such places, Shido, and do not try to persuade me but they declared that you had been possessed, that the devil whispered in your mind and, after a time in their tender care, you believed them.

�They made you into what your father accused you of. You were unbalance. You truly thought that the devil spoke into your mind and you were torn. A part of you wanted to be a proper son and please your father while a second part of you seethed at the repression of your thoughts and beliefs. The priests and �doctors� strove to teach you to ignore a vital part of you that made you who you were. They took an intelligent, curious man and turned him into a broken creature.

�It angered me! And I saw that anger mirrored inside of you as you helped your father cast the rites. I saw it seething just below the surface, though it was hidden from the two men who watched your every movement. I tried to speak with you at the party but the two priests kept you to themselves and I could not risk you recognizing me so I waited. I followed you back to your father�s house where I discovered a young maid who was more than happy to whisper family secrets into my ear for a few trinkets and a few nights of pleasure.

�Your father had brought you back home after the talk of the town turned from pity over your condition to snide comments about your family. I learned that you had been given to �sleep walking� and that your father had taken to locking you away at night to keep the demons from calling you out among them. You had been fully awake when you had stumbled across me and when I asked about what you saw when you walked the streets at night the maid informed me that nobody took any of what you said seriously. They all thought you insane, and in their complete disregard of your word they really were driving you insane.

�So I began to visit you late in the night, knowing I was safe from discovery for anything you said would be shrugged off as the ravings of a mad son. You ignored me the first few nights and I was angry until I realized that you really did think I was a figment of your imagination. After that I tried to find ways to make you pay attention to me.�

�By becoming my demon.� Shido whispered, memories of a silken voice that tormented his sleep given new meaning.

Cain smiled and nodded. �Yes. I found out which university you had gone to and what you had been sent to study. You had been particularly fond of philosophy, which had been your downfall in the church�s eyes. So I began philosophizing on your windowsill. I even carried you away to see how you would react to a very small demonstration of the world of the vampires. Unfortunately it only served to gave you fits, which brought the entire household down around us. You were sent back to the hospital and I had to wait an entire month before you were brought back. But you wouldn�t go back to your room after that They tried locking you in and you flung yourself against the door until they let you out for fear that you would damage yourself.

�They sent you to the church to cure your �lunacy� and they shut you away from all human contact. I began coming to you again and eventually you were so starved for another�s presence you actually began speaking with me. We debated long into the night about the existence of God and the nature of right and wrong and I finally began to see the passionate man you could be and it took my breath away.

�I had to have you, Shido.

�You were wasting away among humans. They tried to break you, to force you into a mold you were ill suited for. You were a wild spirit straining to be free and I longed to be the one to free you. I longed to see what you could make of yourself if given a chance. I longed to see what sort of worship to the night the two of us could engage in together. I longed to give you eternity.

�I urged you join me but you refused. The part of you that longed to please your father, a man who did nothing but beat and hate you, kept you shackled to the mortal world. I cajoled and raged but still you refused. In a fit of anger I left you. I left the city and returned to my court. I tried to forget you but I couldn�t. When your voice rang in my head I would try to silence it with the voices of my court. When the images of your body disturbed my sleep I took lover after lover to erase it.

��These people love me!� I would say to myself. �They know what a gift immortality is! They know your power and would do anything for you! They would never deny you.� But no matter how many times I repeated these words to myself I could not forget you. My mate no longer satisfied me and I could no longer bear his touch. I chased him from my side and slept alone. The masters of my court began to whisper among themselves and I knew I would be challenged if I did not do something to prove I was still in control.

�I slaughtered the three most powerful masters of my court when I overheard them laughing among themselves that I was pinning over someone like a misty eyed maiden. Even as I tore them apart I couldn�t chase away their words, because they were right. I was acting like a foolish child lusting over someone he couldn�t have. I was strong and you were but a human. Everything you were was there, all I had to was reach out and take it.

�So I returned only to discover that you had been freed from the hospital and that you were to be wed to the church. Well, they didn�t exactly call it that but that was what it was. Your entire life would be given to the church and you would never step beyond its shadow again. They thought that was the best course for you. To shut you away from the world that was a constant temptation to you.� Cain barked a laugh and Shido could see the anger that seethed in his golden eyes.

�The night before your dedication was to be spent in meditation. I found you alone and though you whispered all the correct words I knew there was no devotion in your heart. I knew you would die there like that, broken and on your knees. I couldn�t let that happen, ShiYou You argued with me when I moved to take you, protested, but I did it anyway.

�When you woke you were confused, as new fledglings usually are, but that confusion turned to anguish. I told you that I had freed you from such concepts as good and evil. The church would no longer loom over you. No one would stand in the way of your explorations. You could go on studying the world around you and deciding universal truths for yourself.

�I thought you would be pleased but you weren�t. You were distressed and when I finally got you to calm down you told me that I was five years too late. That you couldn�t go back to who you were, no matter how desperately you wanted it. But there was a way. A way that would allow you to develop into the man I knew you could be and a way me tme to have a mate that I desired. A mate that would stand strong at my side.�

�So you took away my memories.� Shido whispered.

�So I took away your memories.� Cain confirmed. �I took away everything that bound you to those creatures. I gave you a new life, a new name and a new family. I gave you a new language and a new purpose. I gave you a new world.�

Shido stood and paced the length of the wall, deep in thought. He had developed many possible reasons for Cain to take away his memories but none had contained the possibility that the past would be full of pain. He would have been tempted to shrug it all off as a fanciful tale if Cain hadn�t also admitted to a person interested in erasing his memory.

The first few years of his unlife were a jumble of confused memories but that was to be expected, he had discovered. The first years were a time of turmoil for all vampires. They were bound tightly to their creators and their only thoughts were those of survival and pleasure. Soryo had once laughingly referred to it as �sensory overload�. There were simply too many sensations present during the first years of unlife to be turned into true memories.

The first clear memories he possessed were those of hunting with Cain, first as a fledgling and then later as a mate. He had not been brought to the court until he had been a vampire for nearly twenty years. At that time Cain had bound them as mates and had instructed him in the ways of the court and the language. He had been delighted at the chance to meet others of their kind. There were vampires from all over the continent and he plagued all of them with questions about their homelands.

Then he had met Soryo.

Soryo�s master had been one of Cain�s most flattering master vampires. He loved to throw lavish soir�es so that the younger masters could stare at his glory and Shido had found himself yawning his way through most of them. There had been little for him to do as the master vampires played their games with each other. It had been nearly two years before Soryo�s master had even given him more than a passing glance but when he finally noticed that Shido was more than just a passing fancy he had realized that he held a treasure that might game him some status with Cain.

That treasure had been Soryo, who had been flung at Cain every chance his master got. At first Shido had developed a severe distaste for the green haired vampire for Cain had indeed found Soryo a satisfying diversion during the parties. Shido disliked Soryo as both a fledgling who hated to have his master�s attention diverted from him and as a mate who suddenly found his position threatened.

All that seething jealousy had spilled over one night when the masters had gorged themselves on blood and were thus as close to drunk as vampires could get. Shido had found himself ignored all night while Soryo, who could do everythwithwith grace and perfection, had been the center of attention. Cain had paid particular attention to the young one and Shido had seen his mate whisper into his ear. His jealous mind had provided him words for the ones he couldn�t hear and they made him angrier than he had ever been.

When the master vampires had moved off to the next room to speak privately he had hunted Soryo down. To this day he wabarrbarrassed by his foolishness but he�d been so full of anger at the time he�d been deaf to the green haired vampire�s protests as he accused him of trying to steal his mate. Soryo�s shrieks and Shido�s snarls of rage had brought their respective master�s running. Cain had been forced to bleed him to get him off the cowering vampire without being torn up in the process as well.

The next night had been a repeat of the night before when Shido and Soryo both ended up in the public hall at the same time. Anytime Soryo came near Cain Shido was there waiting for him. After breaking up the fourth fight between them in nearly a week Cain had flung both of them into the dungeons beneath the castle where they could see each other but couldn�t actually touch. Cain refused to free them until they had learned to live with each other.

At first he hadn�t been interested in anything the other vampire had had to say but after a few days of hearing nothing but Soryo�s continuous pleas that he really didn�t want to come between the two of them his jealous had burned itself out. Without his suspicion clouding his mind he had found he really did like the soft-spoken vampire. Their friendship hadn�t been solidified, however, until Cain had returned to check on them.

While Shido may have been ready to put the whole thing aside Cain had a longer memory and he had still been angry at having been clawed on numerous occasions by his mate in front of the entire court. He wanted proof that they had resolved their conflict. Proof that Shido hadn�t thought he could perform. Soryo, however, had jumped to his aid by offering to play the role of weaker vampire in Cain�s little public display. He had discovered later that Soryo had fallen out of his own master�s grave by �embarrassing� him by making it appear that vampires of his lineage were weak. It had pained him to watch the young vampire be hurt and he had felt more than a little responsible for it.

Thereafter he had taken it upon himself to lessen some of Soryo�s pain. At the soir�es he had protected him from those his master turned him over to by making sure to drag Soryo to Cain�s attention. Cain had developed a fondness for watching them together and Shido had discovered that no one dared to take Soryo while Cain was paying even the smallest bit of attention to him.

Before he had known it they had become friends. Gaven had arrived a few years later with a foreign master whose own court had been destroyed by hunters. Gaven�s true master had been killed in the court�s downfall but the survivors of his old court had stuck together and formed their own harem so he lacked for no protection. However, he had been given to a more solitary life and was often found roaming the halls alone. Shido had ignored all the newcomers since they kept to themselves and Cain had ordered him not to prod them with questions of their former court. It wasn�t until Gaven had saved Soryo one night from one of his master�s more creative outdoor games that Shido even realized that they had brought a fledgling with them.

By saving Soryo Gaven had unwittingly found himself counted among the green haired vampire�s inner circle of friends. Shido had been worried at first by Soryo�s attachment to the usually silent vampire but Soryo would not be deterred and Shido refused to leave him alone with the foreign vampire. Eventually what had started out as a group of loosely ecteected vampires became a group of close fledge-mates who looked out for each other.

Which, Shido mused, was the source of the first true arguments he and Cain had had. Cain had been annoyed that his mate was spending more time with others than with him and Shido had deeply resented Cain�s attempts to limit his time with his fledge-mates. That was also when Shido had reached the transitory stage between fledgling and true vampire and the arguments with his creator sent him fleeing from Cain�s oppressive presence.

He had fled to a city that was far enough from the court that he could do as he pleased but not so far away that it was outside of Cain�s territory. He had set up a life for himself and even begun making friends. An outbreak of fever began to sweep the land and he had been fearful for the friends he had made. Especially for a particular woman and her daughter, so he had chosen to attend a university to learn how to combat it. Cain had been furious with him for going so far away but he refused to relent and his master had faded back to watch him from the shadows. Two years later he had returned to the city and his friends only to discover that he was too late. He found his friend�s daughter and changed her but she had turned her back on him and fled into the light to join her mother.

That had been the first time he had ever questioned the reality of what he was.

Shido stopped pacing and sighed, leaning against the wall behind him and closing his eyes. How different, he wondered, would his life have been if that event had occurred at another time? The years of transition were important years for a vampire. Those were the years in which they decided the truths of their life. It was when they decided what it meant for them to be a vampire and it was then that a vampire developed into a common vampire or a master.

Soryo had told him once that he had been surprised at Shs des development into a common vampire. He had explained that since Shido had always been his protector and railed against Cain�s control of him that he thought he should have been a master. But he had failed to develop the powers and confidence. Perhaps watching his first childe fling herself into the sunlight before his eyes had broken something inside of him. Perhaps he had never meant to be a master vampire at all. Shido didn�t know and it was a question he would never have an answer to.

Regardless of the reason her death had impacted him greatly. Cain had returned him to court where he saw everything with new eyes. He questioned the superiority of his race and he questioned their right to take human life. He watched his mate with new eyes and his disgust of himself and his race tainted him. Unable to take it any longer he had fled into the night, running as far as he could.

Cain, of course, had chased after him and they had fought grievously. By then it was clear that he was a common vampire and every aspect of his relationship with Cain demanded that the golden haired vampire return him to court where he could botecotected as childe, mate, and common vampire. But court was the last place he could go. All across the world he traveled, even managing to hide from Cain for a few years.

Finally Cain had sent the Wild Hunt after him. He had fled as best he could but even he couldnscapscape from Herne and his hunters. Herne had dragged him before the court as though he were a great prize and Shido had sworn he would never forgive Cain for the humiliation that had caused him.

The next time he had fled he had fled to Japan, where a stepanu of a European court had no power over the Japanese regional court, no matter how much influence he had on the continent. It was the only place where he could be free of his mate�s constant meddling and it was the only place where he could bury all the wants and needs that warred with his new view of the world.

It was the only place where he could let the vampire inside of him die.

-End Chapter 6
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Hounds of Winter