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Only in Your Eyes Am I Worthy	By : Lucythebeast Category: +M to R > Neon Genesis Evangelion Views: 28767 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Evangelion, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 6
- 7
- 8
Evangelion: Only In Your Eyes Am I
Worthy

Chapter 7: Routine Life Is Calling Me Again

The teacher sighed in exasperation and felt like throwing
his chalk at the pilots of the EVAs. There were
hardly any students left in the class, in fact there was a grand total of five,
three of them being the pilots. The other two were just unlucky students who
hadn�t gotten out of Tokyo-3 yet. But this wasn�t the source of the teacher�s
frustration. What annoyed him was that Ayanami was staring out the window as
usual, Ikari was spending most of his time staring at the back of Ayanami�s head, and Soryu kept glaring back at both of
them. All in all, it was a bad day to be a teacher. �Class, until the threat to
this city is gone, I�ve decided it�s best if I leave
as well. There�s barely any non-military personnel left anyhow, so there�s
really no point in me staying.� He waited for nearly a minute then sighed,
realizing he had been ignored. �ATTENTION!� He shouted.

Four sets of eyes snapped to him immediately and Rei�s gaze
even slowly turned to regard him curiously. He did not often raise his voice,
let alone yell. �Good, that got your attention. Now, as I was saying, class
will be canceled after today until the threat to the city is over with. I will
be leaving tonight, as most of Tokyo-3�s non-military
populace has already.�

One of the other students raised his hand carefully. The
teacher sighed and asked him what he wanted. �Sensei, does this mean that we
won�t have any homework tonight?�

The teacher sighed and slapped his forehead in exasperation.
�Yes, there won�t be any more homework until we all return to the city. Any other questions?�

Asuka raised her hand. �Hai, sensei.
I have a question. Don�t you have confidence in our abilities as pilots? We�ll
destroy the last angel and you will come to no harm. You and every other person
who left Tokyo-3 are fucking cowards. I�m disgusted by it.�

Everyone was shocked, especially the teacher. �What� what
did you call me?� He asked, hoping his hearing was failing.

�Okubyoumono� feigling�
coward� surely you know the word in one of these languages. Or are you stupid
as well?� Asuka asked in a feigned innocent tone.

The teacher�s face darkened. �I will not stand for this
behavior! You will leave this class now, young lady!� He was literally shaking
with rage.

Asuka stood up slowly. �Das Lehrerschwein frisst Scheisse! [The pig
teacher eats shit]� She taunted and threw her desk over as she walked out
tossing a haughty glare at the first and third childs.

�Soryu is very disrespectful.� Rei observed quietly.

Shinji nodded carefully. <She hates me. She wants to hurt
me. Worse, I think she wants to hurt Rei-san as well!>

The teacher looked at the rest of the students with a frown.
�You all may as well leave as well. Hopefully I�ll see you all soon� and
perhaps Soryu will have a better attitude.�

They all stood up and everyone but Rei bowed politely. �Hai, sensei! Arigato! Ah, sayonara!�
Rei simply started walking out, nearly leaving Shinji behind.

�Rei-san! You walked away from me.
You shouldn�t do that while you�re still hurt. You might have tripped or
something!� Shinji admonished her.

Rei gave him a curious look then nodded once. They took a
taxi back home and had lunch then Rei laid down for a nap. She woke up later to
a strange sound. She looked over and saw Shinji cleaning her apartment, a
determined and often horrified look on his face. Rei blushed and looked back up
at the ceiling. <This is the second time he�s cleaned my apartment� why does
do I feel this way? I do not understand it.> Rei
sighed and went back to sleep.

*************************

Major Katsuragi left Kaji�s apartment and took a deep breath, leaning back
against the door. Tears fell from her eyes and she desperately wanted a beer or
twelve. She took one last look at the apartment and left, nervously adjusting
her gun�s holster every so often. She took her time strolling home, for as long
as she was in route she could avoid thinking. She was, for lack of a better
term, in limbo. But it could not last forever, as her feet eventually led her
home. �I�m home!� She called as she stepped in and kicked her shoes off. She
trudged straight for the refrigerator and grabbed a six pack of beers and
plopped down on the couch and finished the first one off before she even
settled back.

She was starting on her second beer when she heard a crash
coming from Shinji�s room. <Strange� normally he�s so quiet. I better make
sure he�s not hurt.> Misato sighed and stood up and walked to Shinji�s room
and knocked on the door. The rustling sounds inside stopped suddenly and it was
silent. The major frowned and opened the door, wondering for a moment if she�d
catch the boy wanking himself or in a similar
compromising situation. �Shinji-kun? Are you� hurt?�
Misato stared in horror at the room and saw it had literally been destroyed.
Every last one of Shinji�s possessions was broken, shattered, or knocked over.
Even his futon was torn up and stained. And sitting in the center of the room
was Asuka, with an almost feral look in her eyes. �Asuka-chan?! What� what have you done?!�

Asuka laughed and slammed one of Shinji�s SDAT tapes into
the ground and shattered it into pieces, making the major wince as it had been
one of his favorites. �Shinji rejected me. First he took away my glory, then he
took away my pride, and now he�s taken away the only thing that made it
bearable� his affection. He�s just like his baka of a father. He cares more
about Wonder Girl than me. He deserves to rot in hell.� Asuka smiled and
motioned to the room. �This was an acceptable alternative.�

Misato brought a hand up to her face and took a deep
steadying breath. �Asuka... what did the therapist say about all this?�

The second child gave her a blank look.

�You� did see the therapist, ne?�
The major asked. <Please say yes�>

�Nein, Frau. Mein Gehirn ist
nicht krank! [No, woman. My brain is not sick!]� Asuka began to giggle
uncontrollably.

Misato frowned. �Asuka-chan, come
with me. You�re going to see the therapist right away.�

�Nein, Frau. Ich lehne ab! [I refuse!]� Asuka gave
the major a cross look and stood up on shaky legs, trying to look defiant.

�Soryu, you will come with me to the therapist or I will
cancel your pilot status and you�ll never see Unit 02 again. And you will cease
speaking German since I do not understand it very well. Do I make myself
clear?� Misato scowled at Asuka, trying to intimidate the girl. <This is the
last thing I needed today, of all days.>

The second child glared at her for several moments then
sniffed. �Fine. Take me to the damn doctor. He�ll
blame everything on my unconscious desire to have sex with my father or some
crap like that and I�ll leave thinking I�m a worthless piece of Schei�e. So, let�s get it over with.�

Misato sighed but she didn�t cave. They walked to NERV and
Misato sat outside in the waiting room while the psychiatrist talked to the
second child.

*************************

Shinji sat in the entry plug to Unit 01, taking deep LCL
filled breaths and concentrating on becoming one with the Eva. He was thankful
that Asuka was not there, as he would have been much more nervous than he
already was. As it were, he was already agitated and it was showing. �Ikari, concentrate! Your sync rate is dropping slowly but
steadily. What�s wrong with you?!� Misato asked from the control room.

�Gomen.�
Shinji replied automatically. He could hear the irritated hiss over the comm.
signal but he ignored it. <One more angel, then I never have
to pilot Eva again.>

�Ok, that�s it for today, Shinji-kun.� Misato�s voice came
over the intercom. Shinji felt relieved as he was not in the mood to be in the
EVA that day.

�Hai, Katsuragi-shousa.�
Shinji replied. Moments later, he was out of the entry plug and dripping with
LCL. �Ugh� I�ll take a quick shower before I head home to wash all this gunk off.�

He stripped off the plug suit and tossed it into the wash
bin then headed into the showers. As he was washing off, he smiled to himself
and thought about visiting a hot springs
resort after the last angel was defeated, to celebrate and decompress from his
ordeal. Asuka�s angry eyes flashed in his mind�s eye for a moment which made
the boy wince and grab his head. �You�ll take me with you, won�t you Shinji!?�
She demanded in his mind.

The third child shook his head violently and leaned back
against the cool shower wall. �I�ll see if Misato-san would like to go. And maybe even� Rei-chan.�
He blushed as he allowed himself the familiar term in the privacy of the wash
room.

�Shinji-kun? I came to check up on
you. Are you feeling well? You seemed� distracted today.� A female�s voice sounded
right in front of him.

Unit 01�s pilot snapped his eyes open and forward and
quickly covered himself as best he could as he developed a full body blush. �Ibuki-san!? What� what are you doing in the men�s
washroom!?�

Maya grinned and looked him over. �Oh, are you asking me to
leave, Shinji-kun? I thought perhaps some company would make you feel better. More� relaxed?�

Shinji�s mind was shocked into silence. Had he been
thinking, he would have been caught between the conflicting desire to run and
stay. �Nani?�

Maya stripped off her uniform slowly, teasingly, and then
stepped into the shower stall. �Surely you�ve figured it out by now,
Shinji-kun�� She grinned and kissed him.

Shinji didn�t move, paralyzed by shock. The shock was
quickly replaced by desire when the girl�s kisses trailed down his chest and
stomach however. �I.. Ibuki-chuui?!� <She�s not
about to�>

�Maya-chan, please, Shinji-kun.�
The lieutenant corrected playfully before she took him into her mouth.

�MAYA-CHAN!� Shinji shouted, nearly
fainting from the sensation. <This� this can�t be real, can it!? I always
thought she was cute, but� oh my! I mustn�t run away� please god don�t let me
run away!> His fingers stroked through the girl�s short hair nervously and
he was gasping for breath. Occasionally he�d see Asuka in his mind�s eye
looking at him with disapproval or anger, but mostly he just saw Maya�s head
bobbing up and down. He opened his eyes again when the sensation changed and he
was surprised to find himself kneeling over a nude Rei, making love to her. �What?! This� this doesn�t feel like� my dream��

Shinji�s eyes snapped open and he sat up, in a cold sweat.
He shivered and turned to look at the sleeping Rei, who except for the
occasional twitch or slight shift in position, remained absolutely still.
<I� I thought perhaps we were sharing a dream like we did a lot while we
were doing the sync training all those months ago, but I guess it was my dream.
I can�t think of Rei-san that way. I have to not think of her that way� Are her
eyes open?>

�Shinji-kun?� Rei�s soft voice
called out to him.

�Hai, Rei-san?� He sat up on his
knees and leaned over so she didn�t have to raise her voice. He could see a
flash of disappointment in her eyes but it was gone before he could be sure.
<I keep seeing that when I say her name now� is it because� does she think
of us as friends? Oh my� I�m insulting her every time I say san�> �Rei-kun.�
He corrected. [AN: Yes, often kun is used for
adolescent boys and would suggest maleness but it doesn�t always. It is also
used between close friends since san is insulting for that relationship, but it
is not quite as informal as chan which is normally
reserved for children, especially girls, and between dating couples. Chan can
also be used as an insult, say if one man said it to
another man it would be like calling him a little girl. Just wanted to clear
that up so I don�t get reviews saying �Rei isn�t a boy you baka!�]

<Well, that�s a little better.> �Did I wake you?�

Shinji blinked in surprise. �Iie,
I woke up a few moments ago. I was having a ste dre dream.�

Had it not been so dark, Shinji might have noticed a slight
blush in Rei�s cheeks. �Ah. Since you are up, would you mind getting me a glass
of water?�

�Hai. Right away,
Rei-kun.� Shinji rushed into the kitchen and got the water.

<I had a strange dream, also. First Ibuki-chuui was doing
something� rather unusual to me. It was� strangely thrilling. I never knew I
could feel that kind of sensation down there� but then� Shinji-kun� I can�t think of him that way, he doesn�t
feel the same way.> �Shinji-kun? We must talk��

�So ka?� Shinji called from the
kitchen, leaning his head back as the water glass filled.

�Hai.� She waited until he was
heading back into the bedroom so that she wouldn�t have to raise her voice. �I
am feeling much better now. I can get around on my own. I think it best if you�
return to your home with Katsuragi-shousa.�

�Chigau! [No
way!]� Shinji exclaimed, dropping the glass of water from his
shock-numbed fingers. He blushed when Rei winced from the shattering sound. �Gomen�� He knelt down and started gathering up the glass in
his bare hands, too upset to think about using a broom and dustpan or even
gloves. As a result, he had bloody hands in moments.

�It would be� improper for you to stay here with me when
there is no need. And there is very little room. You understand, of course?�
Rei asked.

�Rei-kun, I� can�t go back to Misato-san�s�
Asuka and I� we� things are not good between us.� He blushed and stared at his
bloody hands. <Why are my hands bleeding?>

Rei suppressed a sigh. �I must speak with your father
tomorrow. I trust you will return to Katsuragi-shousa�s,
or make other arrangements. I do not mind you being here, Shinji-kun, but I
feel it is improper. Perhaps if our relationship were different�� She forced
herself not to continue that sentence.

Shinji did not pick up on that train of thought. �Ryoukai, Ayanami. [Roger that/Understood]� He replied,
sounding very much like he had just been ordered to self-destruct his Eva unit.

Rei sighed softly and leaned back against her pillow. <It
is for the best, Shinji-kun. Things between you and Soryu couldn�t be that bad.>

The third child moved over to sit by the window and stare
out of it, Rei�s water and his injured hands forgotten. Rei laid
back down and fell asleep a while later, hoping that Shinji wasn�t too upset.

************************

�Nagisa Kaoru?� A SEELE lieutenant
asked, looking up from her clipboard at the young silver-haired boy with red
eyes.

�Hai.� He responded in a mellow
tone.

The lieutenant, a young Hishida
Akemi, nodded in response. �I am to inform you that your transfer to NERV has
been delayed.�

Kaoru frowned. �Understood. May I
ask why?�

�I do not have that information. My guess would be that you are
unneeded, or unwanted.� Akemi replied.

�What are my orders then, Hishida-shoui?�
The apparently undesired and unnecessary pilot asked.

�You are to continue your training as well as continuing the
Dummy Plug project. Report to Nakahara-taii
at 0800 tomorrow.� Akemi informed him then left without another word.

Kaoru turned to stare out the window in the relative
direction of Tokyo-3. �What is going on out there? My transfer should have gone
through no matter their pilot situation. Someone is interfering, and that is
unacceptable.� He rested his chin on his hand and stared off into space deep in
thought. Something didn�t feel quite right and he was curious as to what it
was.

************************

Asuka gave the psytristrist a teasing grin. "K�nnten sie
das bitte auf Deutsch wiederholen?"

Dr. Kagame frowned, knowing the girl was taunting him, but
he had to play along for now to get past her defenses later on. <Thank
goodness I learned German in college to help with my psychology studies.>
"Ich sagte, ich m�chte sie
vier Tage in der Woche sehen."
He repeated in German.

�Would you please repeat that in English?� She continued her
game.

The doctor�s frown deepened into a scowl. <I don�t speak
English very well, damn it. I hope this game doesn�t continue. German I can
handle, but English?> �I see you four days week.� <I hope that was
right.>

�Four days a week doesn�t work for me, doctor. Make it two.�
She had grown bored with forcing him to speak in non-native languages so she
switched back to Japanese.

�You will come here every other day. The only exception is
holidays or emergencies such as Angel attacks. If you are sick in the hospital
you will contact me and I will come to you and have our session there. Am I
understood?� He fixed her with a serious glare.

�Ja selbstverst�ndlich, Herr Doktor
Kagame. [Of course/naturally Dr. Kagame.]� She
replied with a bored wave of her hand.

�All right then. Come back in two days. For now, wait
outside while I speak with the major.� He stated.

Asuka�s eyes narrowed. �You said everything we talk about in
here is confidential. You lied to me?�

�No, I did not lie. I will not divulge what we talk about,
but I am obligated to give her status reports. Especially
today, your first visit. Your status at NERV is dependant upon it. I will
not tell her anything other than your mental state and your progress, I assure
you.� He replied, hoping she�d trust him. Her recovery was too important to
throw away on lack of trust.

�Hmph. Hai,
Kagame-dono.� She stood up and left without a
farewell.

Dr. Kagame rubbed his face and sighed, knowing this was the
toughest case he had ever been presented with. Most of his other patients had
been over-stressed NERV employees, with the occasional officer who had a crush
on his or her superior, or even on an inanimate object. But this one� he looked
up as Misato walked in. �Ah, Kitsuragi-shousa. If you would be so kind as to sit?�

�Hai, Kagame-dono.
So, what can you tell me about Asuka-chan�s
condition?� The major asked.

He took a moment to look back over his notes, though it was
more of a delay tactic than anything else. �Well, she has issues, as you well
know. I believe they stem back to early childhood. She�s on the verge of a
psychotic break, but I think I may be able to prevent it. It�s important that
you don�t treat her any differently than you did before all these symptoms
began to present themselves.�

Misato nodded. �And what of her pilot
status?�

�Normally I would recommend she be taken off the roster
until she�s more stable. However, it is obvious that she feels piloting the EVA
unit is the only thing in her life she is proud of. In fact, she stated it�s
the only thing she has left. If we take that away from her, she�ll definitely
have a psychotic breakdown, with potentially disastrous results. Is there any
way to allow her to keep piloting without sending her out? Perhaps just for
testing?� He asked.

Misato shook her head. �Unit 00 is destroyed and Unit 01 is
now on emergency use only, since we can no longer control it. Her Unit 02 is
the only one we can send out in case of an angel attack. If she can�t pilot
effectively, we�ll have to see about getting a replacement.�

�I believe she will do just fine. I just hope she doesn�t
become upset at anyone other than the angel if she gets into
it� can one of the other pilots use Unit 02, if it is necessary?� He
asked.

Misato frowned in thought. �I don�t know. We�ve cross-tested
Ikari and Ayanami, but only Soryu has piloted Unit 02. I�ll make sure they are
both tested in 02, so we know.�

Dr. Kagame nodded. �I will be seeing Soryu every other day. The only exceptions being holidays and emergencies. If
necessary I will increase it to every day.�

Misato stood up and bowed her head slightly. �Understood. Keep me informed on her progress, please.� She
walked out with a polite farewell and took Asuka home, hoping the girl would
recover.

***********************
- 6
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Only in Your Eyes Am I Worthy