Crash

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Chapter 7


Yuki didn\'t glance back as the door closed, but he waited until he
was sure Hiroshi had left before moving to the bedroom. The door was
closed but he didn\'t bother knocking as he slipped inside. Shuuichi
was stretched out across the bed, appearing to be asleep as Hiroshi
had said, so he kept quiet as he approached. //You little baby. I can
already tell you we crying.// He sighed faintly as he fell into a
chair across from him.

Shuuichi mumbled faintly, eyelids fluttering a bit to peer at the
television. The movie was still playing, the apartment still
quiet. //I wonder...when Yuki will get home....// He sniffed quietly,
then arched his back in a stretch. The movement made him moan softly
at the slight pain in his ribs.

Yuki\'s eyes narrowed, but he was silent a moment, watching the boy
move. //It\'s going to take a long time,// he reasoned
distantly, //for him to heal.// Another full minute passed before he
finally murmured, \"Hey.\"

Shuuichi eyes opened quickly, and he twisted about to see that the
once empty chair was now occupied. \"Yuki....\" All the little
irrational fears that the author wouldn\'t return vanished, and he
brightened with a tired smile. \"Welcome home,\" he murmured.

\"Hey,\" Yuki greeted again. He pushed himself up and moved to sit on
the bed at Shuuichi\'s side. And though he should have left well
enough alone he couldn\'t help a muttered, \"I told you not to cry, you
little fool.\"

Shuuichi flushed. \"Well....\" He wiggled a bit closer, ignoring the
protest of his ribs. //What did you expect? I always cry.// Unable to
help himself, he reached out to brush his fingers faintly against
Yuki\'s thigh, the only part of the author he could reach. \"I\'ll try
better, next time....\"

\"Whatever.\" Shuuichi was always crying, so it didn\'t really make a
difference. Without thinking, Yuki leaned down to grant him a brief,
but firm, kiss.orryorry I made you worry,\" he offered, though his
voice was e \"Y \"Your friend didn\'t spoil you too much, did he?\"

Smiling, Shuuichi felt himself practically glowing with Yuki\'s
attentions. //He does seem much better. He...doesn\'t look sick
anymore.// \"Maybe a little,\" he admitted, hands curling around a soft
shirt. \"He said he made lots of food, if...you\'re hungry...?\"

//At least when I coddle him he doesn\'t make those awful faces.//
Yuki sighed quietly as he leaned back a little, though not enough to
separate thnds nds from him. \"I\'ll have some in a bit. I just wanted
to make sure you didn\'t need anything.\" //The drugs must be making me
nice. How…annoying.//

Shuuichi shook his head, letting his hands slid down to rest on the
bed beside Yuki\'s leg again—it was too difficult holding them
up. \"I\'m good right now. Just…glad you\'re back.\" The last part
came out in an embarrassed murmur; he didn\'t want to admit his fears
and worries, especially now when they were proven so quickly
wrong. //And…I want him to kiss me again. It\'s been days and days
sine…./e….// He licked his lips unconscly, ly, one finger drawing
idle circles against Yuki\'s pants.

Yuki glanced down at him, easily catching the gesture and
understanding its meaning. //It has been a while.
Maybe…."Hey"Hey.\" He leaned in again, playing his lips lightly over
Shuuichi\'s, just enough to get his attention. \"I\'ve been thinking,\"
he said quietly, wondering if he could soften his suggestion. \"That
maybe…ouldould invite your sister to stay with us for a while, or
something. She\'s stillhighhigh school, isn\'t she? She should be on
break this time of year.\"

Shuuichi, having almost expected something a little more romantic,
needed a moment to really hear what the other had said. \"My…
sister?\" He blinked up at Yuki in confusion. \"But she\'s crazy,\" he
protested. \"She\'s loud and nosy, she gets into everything….\" //I ted ted a kiss.// He pouted.

//It was worth a tryDeciDeciding there wo beo better way to go about
saying what was on his mind than to just spit it out, he sat back a
bit and ran a hand through his hair. It…was embarrassing—shameful,
even, to have to admit it this way. \"Shuuichi.\" He met the boy\'s
eyes seriously. \"I can\'t take care of you by myself.\"

That sobered him. //I…I know. I know I\'m so much trouble, too much
work, too inconvenient.// His hands fell still, and he folded them
across his uneasy stomach. Shuuichi nodded, glancing away. \"I know,
Yuki. I….\" //Hiro said he\'d come by a lot, but…will that be
enough? What if…he wants to send me away? What if he tells me to go
live with dad?// \"What…I mean, what do you…want to do?\" he asked,
trying not to let his voice shake.

Yuki pursed his lips together. //Don\'t make that face.// \"I\'m not
going to send you to your dad\'s,\" he said first and foremost, knowing
that would probably be his first concern. He hadn\'t been that
defeated yet. \"But if you don\'t think having your sister around is a
good idea….\" There were a few others he could turn to, and though
none of them seemed promising it might be possible to rotate them…
until Shuuichi could at least go back and forth from the bathroom by
himself. \"Never mind. I\'ll figure it out.\" He kissed Shuuichi
again to keep him quiet.

Shuuichi relaxed minutely, though some of his worries still
remained. It was enough to keep him from completely enjoying his
kiss, and that was unforgivable. \"Yuki.\" He met the author\'s eyes
seriously. \"If you want her to come—if it\'s easier for you—then
that\'s okay. I lived with her before, and it wasn\'t…that bad….\" His
face twisted slightly, though it was half joking.

Yuki regarded him silently for a moment. \"You know your sister
better than I do. But I told you, I\'ll take care of it.\" He spread
his fingers through Shuuichi\'s hair, trying to move past the subject;
it wasn\'t easy for him to say thesingsings, after all. \"Though it
may mean you getting a of of visitors in the next few weeks.\"

Shuuichi immediately found himself turning into the other\'s touch,
the gentle attentions gradually stealing his somber mood. \"I don\'t
mind,\" he replied, lips curling faintly. \"Whatever is best for
you.\" //Just don\'t stop. Stay here….//

Yuki hesitated a moment more. He wasn\'t sure he felt up to this, but
if it would keep Shuuichi quiet a while longer… He leaned in for
another k slo slow and easy. \"It\'ll work out,\" he said vaguely
between their lips. \"Whatever happens.\" //I should make him go
home. But…I\'ll never hear the end of it. Maybe this is the best
choice after all.//

Those words quickly turned his insides to mush, and Shuuichi nodded
happily as he reached for another kiss. \"Whatever happens,\" he
agreed as he let his last worries slip away. He sighed, content for
the moment with a gentle heat over him, the unusually sweet lips
against his.

Yuki sighed softly. //This is all right.// With Shuuichi weaker
than usual and he himself not up to any deeper affection, they were
able to stay just as they were for some time. His hesitation may
have been mistaken for tenderness, as he was rarely this quiet in
bed, this…unsure. But Shuuichi, though a crybaby at heart, hadwaysways been full of energy with even a simple kiss, and the feeling
of his body so delicate beneath him now felt wrong.

Murmuring softly, Shuuichi eased his hands up to curl around Yuki\'s
collar, holding him close. The slight twinge in his chest kept him
from pulling Yuki against him, but…he didn\'t mind. Not too much,
anyway. He found he had to pull away after a moment,
blinking. \"Hiro…gave me medicine,\" he mumbled, feeling suddenly a
little fuzzy. \"I think…it\'s starting to work…..\"

//Yeah, me too.// But Yuki didn\'t say that, instead offering
Shuuichi another brief kiss. \"All right. We should both get to bed
early tonight, anyway.\" He pulled away, heading for the dresser so
he could at least change into a fresh shirt before bed. He slipped
out of his socks and left them where they were. Something at a loss
for conversation he didn\'t bother, sighing quietly to himself as he
slid into bed opposite his companion. //All this…I guess it means we
really are together.//

Shuuichi managed to push aside his fatigue to turn a bright smile to
his lover as he joined him. \"Yuki….\" Unable to move closer, he
settled for pressing a kiss to his fingers, reaching out to touch
them to Yuki\'s cheek. \"Thank you, Yuki,\" he said softly, \"for taking
care of me.\" //I love you.// He flushed slightly as he returned his
hands to his stomach.

\"It\'s…nothing.\" Yuki settled into the mattress, feeling a bire
re
at ease already now that he was back in his own bed. //Away from the
damn hospital.// \"Just tell me,\" he muttered, already falling
asleep, \"if you…need something….\" He tightened his arms around his
pillow to breathe in the familiar scent, and was a little surprised
to realize it was mostly Shuuichi\'s.

Shuuichi\'s eyes were already closed, head tilted towards Yuki with a
soft smile. \"I will,\" he assured, pausing to yawn. \"G\'night…Yuki….\"

-----

A few days passed, and it seemed that things were getting better.
Yuki made a few phone calls, and in the end convinced Sakuma to come
over for a while to help look after his companion. It seemed like a
good idea at the time—Shuuichi was cheered up and he was able to get
some work done—but when he made an appearance a little later in the
day to find scribble drawings on his good printing paper all over the
floor, Shuuichi\'s face painted, and a fort of pillows and suspended
sheets around the bed…he deeply regretted it. Sakuma left soon
afterwards, threatening to return later in the week to make sure
Shuuichi was \"still shining,\" whatever that meant, and Yuki devoted
himself to preparing dinner. The mess they\'d made could wait until
Hiroshi volunteered to take another turn.

Shuuichi sent his lover a sheepish grin when he appeared with his
dinner. Blankets were still shadowing most of the bedd hed he knew
there were still a few marks on his face, leftover from
Ryuuichi\'s \"care-giving.\" He sat up and made room for the
other. \"I\'m sorry, Yuki. He was practically finished before I
realized what he was doing and….\" He glanced down guiltily at the
floor.

Yuki kicked a few drawings out of the way with his foot as he
approached, taking a seat. \"Don\'t worry about it,\" he assured,
dividing the food among the two of them. The blankets around the bed
made it a little harder to see, but by now he was so hungry he didn\'t
mind. //At least that\'s a good sign.// \"I thought you could use a
little activity, in any case.\" He glanced about. //But God, I can\'t
imagine a thirty year old man behaving like this. And they say I
need therapy.// He grunted softly and began to eat.

Shuuichi nodded around his mouthful of food, brightening with the
author\'s easy acceptance and good humor. \"It was kinda fun,\" he
admitted. //I\'m glad he came—I…kinda missed him.// Shaking that
aside, he concentrated on his food. He was more pleased than he
could admit that not only had Yuki fixed them dinner, but that he was
actually eating it himself.

\"Next time, I\'ll find him something better to doodle on,\" Yuki
muttered as he continued to eat. But he let the issue pass; at least
Shuuichi was happy. A few minutes later they were both finished, and
he set the dishes aside to be taken care of later. Though he didn\'t
like clutter in his room he was willing to put up with it for
now. //When this is over, he owes me big time.// But by the time he
was relaxing next to Shuuichi again he\'d forgotten that promise. He
didn\'t feel like sleeping yet, as it was still somewhat early, but
now that it was just them again he didn\'t feel he could abandon
Shuuichi for his work, either. //And I\'m not cleaning this up yet,
either.//

Suddenly feeling a bit hopeful, Shuuichi edged slightly closer—not
enough that they were touching, just in case Yuki wasn\'t in *that*
good of a mood. \"So…what are ya going to do now?\" he asked
casually. He couldn\'t keep still, though, shifting in place, fingers
twirling around each other. //I…want him to kiss me.//

\"Hmm…I\'m note.\"e.\" Though Yuki knew those signals well enough, he
wasn\'t about to give in that easily. Some things could never change
between them, no matter what their circumstances. But he shifted a
little closer, his chin tilted up disdainfully.

He giggled, reaching up to poke the blankets hanging precariously
over their heads. \"We could go camping,\" he suggested playfully. As
Yuki hadn\'t come up with anything, Shuuichi took that as a cue to
wiggle closer. He watched the other intensely as he curled forward,
pressing his nose and lips into the author\'s shoulder. His fingers
brushed questioningly against Yuki\'s wrist. //Kiss me kiss me,// he
instructed silently, trusting his thoughts to carry.

Yuki glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, and with a tiny
sigh he turned on the bed. \"Or not.\" //I\'ll have to go easy on
him,// he reasoned distantly as he dipped his head, granting Shuuichi
the kiss he\'d been asking for. //But maybe for once I don\'t mind.//

His bright grin lasted only a moment before it was melted away by
Yuki\'s attentions. Shuuichi relaxed into the kiss, all too relieved
that…they were doing this. //It\'s been so long—a week? I\'ve missed
him, and….// He flushed. //I want him.// Shuuichi\'s fingers curled
around the author\'s hand, pulling it up to his chest and guiding it
over his neck and face. //I want you.//

As Yuki kissed him back he realized, vaguely, that there was no good
way to go about this. None of their usual positions would be very
comfortable—or possible—with Shuuichi\'s casts, not to mention his
lungs. Slowly he managed to turn himself about, urging Shuuichi to
lie down. //This really is more work than making out should be.//
With a thin smirk he stretched out over his young lover, careful not
to put any weight on him as he resumed their kiss.

Shuuichi tried to arch up against the other, wanting to feel him,
when he was reminded of his injuries. It wasn\'t that they hurt—his
legs just wouldn\'t move to wrap around Yuki like he wanted. His
frustration lasted only a moment; Yuki\'s lips were too interesting.
He settled instead with curling his fingers lightly behind the
author\'s neck, keeping him close.

Yuki stayed for a while, content to enjoy this simple intimacy after
so long apart. The truth was he\'d never thought much of the sex they
had—not that he didn\'t enjoy it, to some degree, but there were times
when it simply felt like a natural outcome of living together,
nothing more or less. Now that he was forced to pay closer attention
due to Shuuichi\'s injuries he seemed to notice more than usual: the
way Shuuichi\'s breath sometimes caught just before they kissed, how
relaxed his hands felt, as if every touch was easy and natural. It…
bothered him a little.

After a few moments, Shuuichi forced himself to relax—there really
wasn\'t much he could do like this. //Doesn\'t mean I\'m any less—// He
flushed and distracted himself with another kiss. When they pulled
apart again, he let his hands drift down over his lover\'s chest. //I
can\'t tell what he\'s thinking, though. Not that I ever could, but….
Damnit, I\'m really….// Licking his lips, his fingers curled in Yuki\'s
shirt. \"Yuki….\"

Yuki\'s eyes thinned slightly, but he didn\'t reply, instead sliding a
hand down between the boy\'s legs as he silenced him with another firm
kiss. //It\'d be too much trouble to do him like this, anyway,// he
reasoned distantly. He wasn\'t sure what had happened, but he\'d
suddenly fallen out of the mood. //At least if I get him off he
might stop making that face.//

Shuuichi gasped around their lips, back arching as best it
could. //Yuki….// He closed his eyes tightly with a soft moan. It
felt so good, and it had been so long…. Fingers tightening in the
other\'s shirt, he pulled him closer in want of some warmth. \"Yuki…\"
he breathed when given the chance, smiling faintly. \"Mmm…feels
good….\"

\"That\'s the idea,\" Yuki replied dryly, slipping his fingers easily
beneath the elastic waistband of Shuuichi\'s pants. //I hope you\'ll
be satisfied with this for now—I don\'t do this often anyway.// He
rested slightly on his one side so he wouldn\'t have to support so
much of his weight on one arm, continuing to move his hand in firm,
swift strokes. \"It\'s been a while since I\'ve touched you, hasn\'t
it?\" he said with mock thoughtfulness, as if trying to distract his
partner. From what he wasn\'t sure.

\"Mmm-hmm….\" Shuuichi let his head fall back with another groan. His
legs twisted uselessly, but he ignored the slight pain. He was
getting close…so close…and it had been so long since Yuki had done
this, and it was making his head spin….

A wave of dizziness swept through him, and he opened his eyes only to
find the room was fuzzy and spinning. His breath, harsh from Yuki\'s
attentions, had suddenly grown shallow and gasping. \"Yu—\" //I can\'t
breathe!// He clutched at the other\'s chest weakly as he fought to
fill his suddenly constricted lungs.

Yuki blinked, withdrawing immediately as if he himself had been
somehow hurt. \"What is it?\" he asked more sharply than he\'d
intended. He realized a moment later what it must have been, and
pursed his lips, touching the boy\'s face. \"Shuuichi, calm down. Are
you all right?\"

\"I—\" He closed his eyes again—the spinning was starting to make him
nauseous—and focused on trying to slow his lungs. When he finally
was able to take a full, deep breath, something twisted in him until
he was shaking with scratching coughs. Shuuichi released the other
to grasp at his aching chest, feeling tears stinging his
eyes. //Yuki, it hurts—I can\'t….//

\"Shuuichi.\" Yuki swallowed hard but he managed to keep his voice
even as he gently rubbed at the boy\'s chest and stomach. \"Calm
down,\" he instructed quietly, his lips close to Shuuichi\'s
ear. \"Quiet down…and breathe shallowly. You\'re all right.\" //Damn
this. Shuuichi, of all people….//

Yuki\'s calm proved contagious, and Shuuichi leaned close to better
hear the author\'s own breath, using it to set his own pace. //God it…
it hurts….// His tears weren\'t helping matters much, stuffing up his
nose and only making it more difficult. After a few more moments of
coughing he managed to stop, taking the instructed shallow breaths
until the dizziness began to subside.

Yuki sighed quietly and relaxed against the other\'s side. He kept
his hand where it was in steady reassurance. \"There,\" he murmured,
closing his eyes. \"You\'re all right.\" //I should have realized his
lungs were still pretty weak. This excitement was probably too much
for him….// He cleaned away a few of Shuuichi\'s tears with his
sleeve. \"Do you want some water?\" he offered. \"Drugs?\"

He started to refuse, but a sharp pain in his lower back forced a nod
out of him. \"Please,\" he choked out softly, even though he wanted
Yuki to stay. //I…can\'t I even do this? Why am I so weak?//
Shuuichi hiccupped pitifully as he leaned back into the mattress,
concentrating on his breathing.

Yuki didn\'t say a word as he fetched the bottle of painkillers the
doctor had prescribed, along with a cup of water. \"It\'s all right,\"
he murmured vaguely, helping to tilt Shuuichi\'s head up so he could
drink. \"Just relax---these things work pretty fast, so you\'ll be
okay in no time.\"

He nodded vaguely, drinking the whole glass to help ease the
scratchiness in his throat. \"Yuki…?\" Shuuichi faced the other as he
returned to his side. \"Why…did that happen? I know my ribs are
still healing, but….\" //I know…I needed that tube to breathe, but
I\'m fine now, right? I didn\'t need it anymore, so why can\'t I…?//

Yuki frowned. \"I\'m not a doctor,\" he replied, \"but I\'d say it\'s
because your lungs are still weak. You were hit by a car, you know—
you can\'t heal that easily.\" He…hadn\'t meant to say that. It wasn\'t
like he was upset about Shuuichi\'s sexual limitations, or anything
like that. He glanced away uncomfortably. \"I mean…you\'ll just have
to be patient.\"

Shuuichi turned away with a faint frown. \"Weak....\" //My lungs are
weak? So I can\'t...have sex or...even sing? I won\'t be able to sing
if I\'m like this.// His fingers curled around the blankets. //But
there\'s nothing I can do now, other than wait. Like Yuki said....//
Though he hated it,manamanaged a slow nod. \"Okay, Yuki,\" he
murmured. \"I\'ll...be patient.\"

Yuki sighed quietly. //Like he can handle being patient.// But he
didn\'t want to discourage the boy, so he merely settled in at his
side, unsure what else he could do. \"It shouldn\'t be too long,\" he
murmured absently. \"Not as long as your legs, in any case. You\'ll be
your wailing singing crybaby self in no time.\"

His lips curled in a faint smile, more by Yuki\'s continued closeness
than by his words. \"If you really think so,\" he replied, trying to
relax back into the mattress. His chest was still aching a bit, and
he took slow, measured breathes to keep them from acting up
again. //I\'m...getting tired. That medicine does work fast....//

\"I do, as terrifying as it is.\" Yuki rubbed at his eyes a
moment. //At least I wasn\'t all that horny to begin with, or this
would be really frustrating.// \"I\'m going to put on the news,\" he
said absently, reaching behind him for the remote. \"You should go to
sleep, even if it\'s still a little early.\"

He nodded again. \"Okay Yuki, I will.\" He didn\'t need to go far,
simply closing his eyes and rearranging his hands across his
stomach. //I...want to be better now.//

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