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Monsters	By : Macx Category: Descendents of Darkness/Yami No Matsuei > General Views: 2644 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Descendants of Darkness (Yami no Matsuei), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Monsters
- 2-part 2
- 3-part 3
- 4-part 4
- 5-part 5
- 6-part 6
- 7-part 7
- 8-part 8
- 9-part 9
- 10-part 10
- 11-part 11
- 12-part 12
- 13-part 13
- 14-part 14
- 6
- 7
- 8
Watari sat in his apartment, staring out the window, seeing nothing.
A week had passed since the discovery as to what had caused Tatsumi's blackout,
had made him force his lover to have sex.
It's called rape, Yutaka, he thought darkly.
Rape. And he didn't even know what he was doing. He was under the influence
of something you had brewed for him.
Fool!
He had been careless. He had put two substances together and forgotten
about it. As a scientist he should have cleaned the box and then filled
it with the tea. No, scratch that. He shouldn't have used a container that
had held a chemical substance for a food product. It had been irresponsibly
careless.
My fault. I poisoned my lover. Good Gods, I poisoned my life partner!
You asked for it ... like you always do...
Raking a hand through his tousled hair he winced as knots hindered his
progress. His hair was a mess, like he himself was a mess. For a week now
he had come to work, holed himself up in the ruin that had been his lab,
had worked on restoring everything, and he had warded off whoever had come
to help. The incident had been called an explosion in the lab, and only
a few people knew the truth.
There was a knock at the door and Watari started. He stared at his apartment
door, feeling a small tremor run through him. Finally he pulled himself
together and rose slowly, walking to the door.
I'm a shinigami, damnit! I can defend myself should it be an attacker.
And see how much good it did you against your lover, a small
voice whispered.
He groaned softly and screwed his eyes shut, breathing in and out, trying
to find the calmness he had been chasing for over a week now.
"Watari?" a voice called and he recognized it as Tsuzuki's. "You in?"
He opened the door and dredged up a smile for his friend. Tsuzuki didn't
buy it, though. His expression was serious and those eyes... for the first
time in decades Watari found himself lowering his gaze, unable to look
into those inhumanly colored orbs.
"Can I come in?" Tsuzuki asked calmly.
He winced and stepped back, still not making eye contact. "Yeah, sure."
Tsuzuki entered his home and closed the door behind himself. "How are
you?" he asked conversationally.
"I'm fine," he answered automatically, moving over to the kitchen. "Want
something to drink?"
"Water would be okay."
"I've go lemonade."
"Sounds great."
Watari busied himself with preparing the cold drinks, wondering why
he felt so unwell with this visit.
Because you've been alone for the past week. You shied away from human
contact.
"Watari?"
He gasped and whirled around. Tsuzuki was behind, but not close enough
to crowd. Warm, violet eyes looked at him.
"Yutaka? Are you okay?"
The same question, just different words.
"I..." he began, then broke off.
Tsuzuki took his glass of lemonade and smiled reassuringly.
"So... how are you?" he asked for the third time.
"I don't really know," Watari whispered and stumbled over to a couch
chair, falling into it. His hands were shaking. "I don't know what to feel
any more. It's like a nightmare... and I can't wake up."
"Neither can Tatsumi."
At the name of his lover he looked away again, at the floor, his feet,
his hands. Anywhere but the older shinigami who watched him so calmly.
"I don't know what to do anymore," Watari confessed, voice shaking.
"I don't know... Every time I see him, I see... his face. The way he looked
at me just before he..." Watari swallowed and looked at his hands. "You
know how scary Tatsumi can be, but he never... never looked at me that
way." He buried his face in his hands with a harsh sob. "And it was my
fault again. I poisoned him, I asked for it ... "
Tsuzuki's eyes widened in shock and he suddenly remembered a conversation
not unlike this one - 'did you realize how everybody always uses me?'...
oh gods, Watari was blaming himself for the attack? This was far
more complicated than he had thought.
He gently took Watari's wrists, prying the fingers from his friend's
face to look into desperate golden eyes.
"You didn't asked for being raped, Watari. And certainly you
don't ask for being used. Tatsumi wouldn't use you, ever. This was an accident,
and it was � not � your -- fault."
"I'm easy, Asato ... I seduced Seii, I was the initiator. I like it
rough, didn't you know that? He just gave me what I wanted, what I deserved..."
Tsuzuki stared at his friend in utter shock. He had never heard Watari
talk like that, never. And he asked himself who might have taught Watari
things like this, persuaded him that he was not worth being loved, only
used... 'that bastard' Watari had called him.
"Yutaka, Tatsumi loves you. You do not deserve violence, nobody does.
You do not ask to be used..."
"But I volunteered to get used, Asato. It's what I am... why should
Tatsumi be any different?"
"Because you are his life, Yutaka. And right now he is dying."
That stopped the self-loathing tirade.

Tsuzuki looked at his friend, dismayed by the state he was in. Neglect
and little sleep showed on the usually so bright features. He was like
a mirror of what Tatsumi's face showed each and every day the secretary
walked into his office. Like a robot he made his work, his eyes distant,
his movements almost automated. He ate nothing, he talked to no one, and
he left the office after everyone else had already gone home.
Tsuzuki sighed. This was one hard case.
"Watari," he said, getting the other man to look at him.
"Do you still love him?"
Golden eyes widened slightly, and then Watari nodded.
"Do you still want to be with him?"
"Yes. As long as ..."
"Yes or no, Watari. Nothing else."
"Yes."
"Do you think you can ever forgive him?"
"It wasn't his fault!" Watari blurted, eyes filled with self-loathing.
"You and I know that, Tatsumi knows that. Do you think he will do it
again? In your heart of hearts, Watari, do you think he's capable of purposely
hurting you?"
"No... he... that wasn't him." The last was a whisper.
"Exactly. Watari, you see his face, and I don't know what else � have
you ever thought about what he sees when he looks at you? Think about it."
Tsuzuki leaned forward. "You know him, maybe even better than I ever did.
Tatsumi will never approach you, will never make the first step, it's simply
not what he is. I've never seen him with anybody, I've never seen him happier
than when he was with you. Right now he's burying himself in his work 24/7,
and if this won't be solved soon, it will destroy him. And you. And I don't
want to see my friends suffer."
"Tsuzuki..."
He smiled at the insecure man, at the wide-eyed, pleading look.
"Think about it," he repeated. "Act on what you feel." Tsuzuki drained
the lemonade and rose. "If you need someone to talk to, you know where
to find me. I'll be there, at any time."
"Thanks," was the soft whisper.
Tsuzuki quietly left the apartment, leaving Watari to contemplate his
words, and he dearly hoped his friend would be able to work this out, come
to terms with what was haunting him. There was much more behind the ever
happy-go-lucky facade than Tsuzuki would have imagined in his wildest dreams.
And he hoped that he would come to talk, if not with him than with somebody
else.
Soon.
° ° °
Hisoka had kept out of the whole �counseling' by his own choice. He
had let Tsuzuki take the lead since his partner was, as he had to confess,
more empathic than the empath himself. Tsuzuki could relate to people,
could listen, did listen, and he had a shoulder to cry on, Hisoka, despite
his ability to read emotions, shied away from this side of human contact.
Ever since coming to work with Tsuzuki though, that had changed. Tsuzuki
was like a force of nature that didn't leave you much choice, that swept
you along, and slowly but surely Kurosaki Hisoka had changed his approach.
And he had learned a lot more than just being a friend.
Still, he had kept back at first in that case. Yes, it was a case and
the culprit had been found. Now damage control had to step in and while
Tsuzuki was part of that control, so was Hisoka.
Because Hisoka had an experience he shared with Watari that Tsuzuki
didn't, and hopefully would never experience.

Hisoka found their friend where he had expected him � in the lab. It
had been cleaned and the trashed equipment had been replaced. The computer
was as good as new, though most settings from the original machine had
still to be written onto the new one, and nothing showed of the shadows'
attack.
Nothing but memories.
But memories couldn't be painted over and polished to look like new.
They had to be dealt with.
Hisoka sat down at Watari's side, looking at his friend's haunted, sunken
in eyes and almost gray pallor. Every inch of him ached with sympathy
for Watari, and not only because he was an empath and could tell only too
well how the other man was feeling. 003 hooted a greeting and nipped at
Watari's ear, getting the man's attention at last.
"Tell me," Hisoka said without preamble.
No nice words could ever soften the real question that would be asked
sooner or later.
"What's there to tell?" Watari shook his head. "You know what happened
already. I poisoned my lover, he... " his voice trailed away, and Watari
buried his face in his hands with a groan, the wave of emotions making
Hisoka shiver, though he had expected them.
Have to work on my shields some more.
"Not that."
"What else do you wanna know?"
"Who were you, Watari Yutaka?"
Golden eyes looked at him in surprise. Shinigami usually didn't ask
each other about their pasts, because the fact itself that they were shinigami
spoke volumes.
"You know about my past, Yutaka, You've met my family. You probably
even know that Muraki... He raped me before he killed me."
Watari blinked.
"I never got the chance to love someone before I met Tsuzuki, and he
is... well, he's Tsuzuki."
A faint smile tugged at Watari's lips.
"But I died at the age of sixteen, so what's there to experience of
life? You, on the other hand, you're a scientist, have how many doctorates?"
"Three," Watari whispered, and this time it was Hisoka blinking in surprise.
He had meant the question only rhetorically, not knowing that there
was indeed more than one.
"See? I didn't know that. Bet the others don't, too."
"Seii does."
"What doesn't he know, Yutaka?" Hisoka asked softly. "There's
so much pain in you, it's screaming at me. You hide it well, but lately
... especially recently..."
Watari shot him a glance.
"Never figured you for the counselor type, Hisoka."
He shrugged. "Well, we all have hidden talents."
Hisoka felt a little switch in Watari's emotional state and braced himself.
Here we go. He had asked and part of him had known that maybe, just maybe,
he would get an answer.
Here it was.
Watari started to talk.

tbc...
- 6
- 7
- 8
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Monsters