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Yo-Yo	By : ChaoticSpecter Category: Digimon > AU - Alternate Universe Views: 3414 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon: Digital Monsters, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 6
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Yo-Yo
Chapter 7: A Sudden Burst of Light
By: ChaoticSpecter

Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon. This is being written for entertainment.

A/N: Refer to previous A/N's for the nature of this piece of fanfiction. Also, this chapter is being done in Yamato's POV....finally, huh? Enjoy.
Time apart from Taichi has been beneficial to the both of us, as much as I hate to admit it, I really needed this time away from him. Everything had gotten so far out of hand. I didn't want to be so controlling but I couldn't stand the thought of anyone else touching him. Now that I've had to spend some time away from him, I realize how much I was really hurting him and forcing him to change to deal with it.

I sometimes wish that I hadn't made a pass at him that night, but I couldn't control myself...and Tai didn't seem to mind. It was all so perfect, Taichi lying beneath me, moans falling from his lips, writhing as I moved inside him; but was it really worth it? Was it worth the near destruction of my relationship with my best friend? It was a bad idea at the time. I wasn't ready and Tai was hurt as a result.

I hurt the both of us because I couldn't stop myself when I wasn't ready. Tai was right when he said that I'd changed him. I made him angry, bitter, and vindictive...all things that weren't typical of him. He gave me everything and I hurt him every chance I got and he changed. Where I used to rely on Taichi to cheer me up, I could only be guaranteed his scorn. He's spent six months out of this year dedicating his whole being to my unhappiness and the only one I can blame for this is me. I lied to Tai when I told him that I didn't know why I kept doing what I did. I can only excuse my behavior by saying that I am a coward...I'm a coward and Taichi scares me. That is the strength of my feelings for Taichi scares me and I'm scared of what would happen if our relationship didn't work out.

But I ended up nearly driving him away with how much I was hurting him. I want Taichi to forgive me so badly. It's wishful thinking I know, I betrayed his trust, but if I could somehow regain his trust and get him to forgive me I would be so happy. I think I'm making progress though, Tai still talks to me in spite of everything and it's starting to feel like it did before I went and screwed everything up. He's happy when I call, he laughs, he listens and I think I'm close to regaining his trust...and I feel guilty. I feel guilty because he's so trusting of me already and I haven't done anything to deserve it yet. I haven't even come close.

But I want his trust so bad...I miss him so much, I just want to see him. I want it to be how it used to be. I want to be able to hangout after school unsupervised without Takeru glaring daggers at me. T.K. told me about his talk with Taichi in the park--while he was telling me this he also informed me that he and Hikari thought that I was an asshole--and threatened bodily harm if I didn't do what I needed to do to fix everything. However, he did convince Taichi to let me walk him home after school...that is with his supervision, of course.
I'm grateful, don't get me wrong, but I don't want to be chaperoned, I don't want T.K. and Kari's scorn on top of Taichi's pain. I'm such a bastard. How could everything go so wrong? Hopefully when Tai gets here in the morning everything will be fine, or at least firmly settled in the direction of fine.

I was startled awake when I was unceremoniously jabbed in the ribcage. I opened my eyes only to find Taichi hovering above me looking anxious, hopeful, and impatient. �Are you awake?�

�I am now that you stabbed me,� I grumbled. �What the hell did you poke me with?� Taichi held up a mechanical pencil in answer and I glared.
�Are we going to talk or what?�
I glanced at the clock and immediately became indignant. �It's 5:30 in the morning, Taichi,� I growled.
�You said you wanted to talk today and I couldn't sleep�.
�But 5:30...?�
�You can't blame me for being impatient when you've kept me waiting so long�.
I immediately felt guilty, �I'm sorry, Tai. I-�
�No, I'm sorry, Yamato. That was uncalled for. It's just...I want to know so bad and I've been wanting to know-�
�For so long. I know and I'm sorry. It's my fault you're so impatient, you don't have to apologize. Just-�

I was startled when Taichi suddenly launched himself into my arms hugging me tightly. �I missed you so much,� he whispered and I was nearly overcome with guilt. It felt good to hold him again, but he shouldn't miss me. I shouldn't be making him apologize, he shouldn't apologize, not after what I did.

�Tai, we should--� Taichi stopped my sentence with his lips and I forgot what I wanted to say. I kissed back immediately wrapping my arms around him and Taichi moaned in response. One of his hands slipped beneath the hem of my shirt and my mind went blank, all I could focus on was the feel of his skin against mine and how I wanted to feel more. Tai slowly ran his hands up my sides, massaging me and divesting me of my shirt at the same time he dropped kisses on newly exposed skin and I groaned. It felt so good to have him in my arms again...it was so easy to hold him, to kiss him...but this wasn't right.

I gently broke away from Taichi's hold and he immediately latched on to me again. �Tai..we can't do this...I don't want to take advantage...� I breathed and Tai groaned in response.
�You're not taking advantage, Yama...� he whispered molding himself to me. �You're taking what I offer,� he finished, tongue slipping out to trace a lobe and I shivered arms tightening around him in response.
�Tai...� I breathed harshly against his neck and Taichi slipped his fingers into my hair using his grip to guide my mouth back to his. He parted his lips and I immediately pushed my tongue into his mouth desperate to taste him. Tai moaned in response and I pushed him onto his back and straddled him.
�Yama...� he sighed as I lowered my weight onto him, his arms moving to wrap around my shoulders. �I've missed you. I've missed you so much,� he whispered repeatedly, eyes misting with tears as he peppered my face with kisses.
�I've missed you too, baby. I'm so sorry....I'm so fucking sorry,� I whispered back holding him close as he cried.
�Why did you do it, Yamato?� Taichi asked as soon as he felt calm enough to speak.
I sighed before pulling myself away from Taichi to sit up. �I don't know, Tai...well actually....� I trailed off before abruptly standing and pacing the room.
Taichi sat up in reaction to the sudden action, �Yama...?� he asked confusion lacing his voice.
�I like you, Taichi,� I whispered in response. �I like you a lot....and that night...that first night together with you...I couldn't control myself.� Taichi sat up straighter and I could feel his eyes burning into my back. �You were so cute that night,� I said with a slight chuckle. �I couldn't help but come on to you, but I never thought that you'd take me seriously...that you'd let me take you. Tai-chan...� I sighed as I turned around pinning him with my gaze. �Why did you let me do it?�
Tai startled at the question before glaring in anger. �You're supposed to be giving me the answers here,� he growled.
�I know that and I will, but I need to know why you let me do it, Tai. Why did you let me treat you like that? Why did you let me seduce you?�
Taichi sighed before giving a small sad smile, �I love you, Yamato. I thought that would be obvious by now.�
I could feel my eyes widen in shock at Taichi's confession and I stood in shocked silence for a few moments before whispering, �You love me....?�
�Yes, you dumb ass,� Taichi growled in annoyance and I smiled. �Now continue with my explanation, if you will, sir.�

I chuckled a little before sobering. �Like I said, I like you, Tai. That first night, I didn't expect you to take me seriously...I thought that you'd laugh it off and I would regret trying for a few days.� I sighed heavily and started to pace once again. �But you didn't laugh it off, Tai, you gave into me...and it was perfect...but when I woke up in the morning, I panicked. I know that doesn't excuse what I did...but I panicked. I never thought that I could ever be with you. I've wanted you for so long, Tai. I wanted you so bad, but I was too scared to ever do anything about it,� I pinned him with my gaze then, begging understanding from him.

�When I woke up that morning and saw you lying beside me, I convinced myself that you could never seriously want me...not the way I wanted you. So, I made sure you couldn't hurt me the way I realize I hurt you. I didn't want to feel rejected by you. I thought if I never let you see how seriously I felt for you, that you couldn't get tired of me....you would always be able to be with someone else....� I turned away from him then, I couldn't bear to face him.
I gave a self-depreciating laugh before continuing, �It seemed like the perfect solution at the time, but the thought of you with someone else....� I balled my fists at the thought. �I don't think I could ever bear the thought of you with someone else and seeing you with someone else,� my throat constricted and my fingernails began to cut into my palms. � I couldn't stand it--I can't stand it. I got so angry with you for doing exactly what I told you to do; what I never actually expected you to do,� I started breathing heavily my emotions overwhelming me.
�Tai-chan....I never expected you to feel the same,� I whispered. �We spent so much time alone and that night....it wasn't the first time I showed you how I felt,� I turned to look at him then. Not really wanting to, but holding his intent gaze. He seemed surprised when I said that. �You really never notice anything, Taichi,� I said smiling softly. �I mean it...it wasn't the first time. I really didn't expect you to take me seriously because you never have--well, you never did before that night.�
�What did I do then that was so different...? I keep asking myself that question�I've been asking myself that question this whole time. What did I do, Tai...?� I asked a hint of desperation in my voice. �Whatever it was...I would have tried it a long time ago if it meant that I could have you.�
Taichi looked startled. �....I don't know, Yama,� he said after a while. �Maybe....maybe I just happened to be paying attention that time,� he whispered thoughtfully.

I chuckled a little at that. �So, I just got lucky then...?� I sighed. �Tai-chan, do you know how often I came on to you?� I asked seriously. Taichi just gave me a confused look. �I came on to you almost everyday for three years,� Taichi looked really shocked then. �I'm serious, Tai. Most of the time it was harmless and you'd just assume I was playing and sometimes....sometimes, you'd flirt back,� I gave a wistful smile and Taichi looked clueless. �Oh yes, you'd flirt back...although, you weren't aware of it, that is exactly what you were doing. I loved it when you did that,� I smirked at him.
�Of course, there were times that I was feeling brave enough to make a move on you, a serious move...just like I did that night. Every time I did, you never took me seriously, you thought I was being silly and told me to back off. I'd feel depressed for trying when I knew I'd fail and avoid you for a few days until I didn't feel so stupid for doing it and then everything would be back to normal. We'd hang out and it would be like nothing had ever happened because for you nothing had happened.�

�Oh God, Yama,� Taichi sobbed suddenly. He threw himself at me, holding himself close to me. �I had no idea,� he whispered against my neck, crying softly. �I'm so sorry.�

I wrapped my arms around him, �You have no reason to be sorry, Tai-chan,� I whispered. �I could have made you understand that I was serious, but I let you think I was joking. I was too scared to tell you how I felt, that's not your fault. You weren't trying to hurt me. It's not your fault that I was so used to you not taking me seriously that I couldn't face it when you finally did. I'm a coward, baby,� I whispered in his ear, trying to comfort him. �It's not your fault I couldn't tell you how I felt.�
�Yes, it is, Yama,� Taichi sighed pulling away from me just enough to pull me toward the bed. We lie down on the bed facing each other. Taichi sighed softly before continuing, �I should have realized you were serious, Yama. I'm your best friend,� he said seriously. � Aren't I supposed to notice things like that?�
I smiled at him, �You're supposed to see things in me you never notice anywhere else?� I asked teasingly.
�What is that supposed to mean?�
�It means that until recently, you haven't noticed anyone looking at you the way I did--he way I still do. And you certainly didn't realize it when people flirted with you. You were pretty dense, baby,� I chuckled.
�I noticed!� he said affronted.
�No, you really didn't. Don't blame yourself for things that aren't your fault.� We fell into a comfortable silence, just holding each other. After a while, I felt myself drifting to sleep, Taichi's soft breaths whispering against my neck.

I woke up a few hours later, Taichi still wrapped securely within my arms. I watched him for a few moments taking in his features before I began to slowly trace the line of his jaw with one of my fingers. I missed him so much in our time apart and I felt so lucky to have him here right now. I don't know how Taichi can still talk to me, let alone, be here in my arms right now after all that I've done. I was such a bastard. When I think of all of the things I could have done...the things I should have done. Things would be so much better and Tai would never have been hurt. I cup the side of his face and slide my fingers into his hair, Taichi sighs and begins to stir and I begin to drag my fingers through his hair.
�Morning, Tai-chan,� I whisper as he opens his eyes. He stares at me blearily for a moment before smiling.
�Morning, Yama,� he says groggily before pulling away from me to sit up. I follow him and pull him into a light hug kissing him softly on his neck and he sighs in pleasure.
�I'm so sorry,� I whisper. �I don't know if I could ever ask you to forgive what I did....if anything I said could excuse it. I just wish--�
�I know Yamato, you don't have to keep apologizing,� Taichi said smiling softly. �I'm just happy that we finally talked about everything. I have the answers that I've been wanting for a long time now, we're talking again, I don't feel the urge to piss you off every chance I get, and I think that you no longer feel compelled to hurt me.�
�I don't,� I said vehemently and Taichi continued as if I had not spoken at all.
�And most importantly, I can be in your presence without feeling anything negative,� Taichi sighed after he said this and pulled away from me standing from the bed. He paced a bit before turning to me with a thoughtful expression.
�What do you want from me, Yamato? Now that this is all sorted out, I mean?� I looked at him at a loss for a few seconds before responding.
�What do you mean?� I asked in confusion.
�Do you want to be my friend? Do you want me?�
�I -I want you,� I said quickly. �I mean, I want to be with you...be your boyfriend,� Taichi smiled at me then.
�You're serious? You're not going to get all weird again?� he asked cautiously and I jumped up from my place on the bed to grasp his arms.
�I'm serious, Taichi. I want to be with you, I don't want anything that has already happened repeat itself,� I said earnestly.
�You're not going to keep me a secret?� he asked timidly and I damned myself all over again.
�Of course not. I'm going to treat you the way you deserve to be treated. I was an idiot, Tai. Nothing I could ever say can excuse my behavior before, but I promise you, I will not hide you. If you agree to be my boyfriend, I'll tell everyone...like I should have when everything started.� Taichi looked surprised when I said this.
�Really?� he asked brow raised.
�I mean it, Taichi. I really do,� he smiled again.
�You're not going to date other people?� he asked then.
�No one but you, baby,� I said cupping his jaw. I would give Taichi all the assurances he needed for the rest of his life if he agreed to be with me...then again, I would even if he didn't. I still wanted his friendship if I couldn't have anything else. Taichi was very important to me.
�You're not going to be overbearing?�
�No,� Tai snorted when I said this. �Okay, okay, I'll try not to be. You can't blame me because I need to protect your honor at times,� Taichi laughed outright at this.
�I believe 'jealous' is the word you're looking for.�
�Whatever. I said I would try,� I grumbled.
�How do you feel about me?� he whispered.
I pulled him close then, wrapping my arms around him. �I love you,� I whispered resting my forehead against his, gazing into his eyes, hoping he could see the truth of my words. His breath hitched and his eyes began to water.
�You really mean that?� he asked, voice unsteady.
�I mean it,� I whispered back and Taichi closed the bit of space separating us sealing our lips. One of my hands slipped into his hair, tangling in its stands deepening our kiss and the other went to the small of his back, pressing him that much closer.

We parted, panting heavily, trying to regain the ability to breathe properly. Taichi buried his face in my neck, breath fanning across my collarbone. �I love you too, Yama,� he whispered after a while and I tightened my hold on him. We stood holding each other for a moment more before Taichi pulled away from me. �I'll like to be your boyfriend too,�he said smiling shyly. I smiled uncontrollably.
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Yo-Yo