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Tokio Love Monogatari	By : kamorgana Category: Rurouni Kenshin > General Views: 4092 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 6
- 7
- 8
Disclaimer: standard disclaimers apply. RK belongs to Watsuki but the plot, ideas, OCs and text are *mine*.
Tokio Love Monogatari

Chapter 7: Somethin� stupid
And then I�ll go and spoil it all

By saying somethin� stupid

Like �I love you�

(Nicole Kidman/Robbie Williams)
Let�s go directly to the moral of the following slice of life. If you have strongly believed in something against the world all your life and that you suddenly happen to change your mind, do not think �the only unwavering thing is the idiot�s opinion�. You�d rather: 1)stop the pot, at high dose it does affect your brain, 2)be humble, realize that the social propaganda got you and retreat in the desert time to get your wits back or 3) get the number of a good shrink. A schizophrenia diagnosis is merely a phone call�s away.
That said, I can tell you why Aoshi and Misao�s wedding stays branded in my memory as the Apocalypse.
***
Nothing had prepared me to a disaster in the morning, when Yumi arrived at my place happy as a butterfly. She had brought breakfast: tons of brioches for her and coffee for me. Yumi has only one major flaw: she can eat for twenty people and lose 1 kg in the process, quite infuriating when one is always on a diet, but for once I didn�t mind. She had received with her morning mail a letter from the Ultimate, inviting her to join their distinguished membership. The Ultimate is the most select club of Tokyo, where are accepted only rich, famous and good-looking people. For a woman, it�s a little like being invited to �Prince Charming store��although Yumi didn�t hope for marriage, but for sexually correct sex, and she was sure to find it there. I could have been a little jealous�fine, I was a little jealous: I should have been invited there before she was, considering my influence on women�s lives but well�Yumi was my friend and she would make a good use of her membership; unlike my boss who is a member but since he�s agoraphobic never goes there. No, I don�t like waste, and I don�t like him either. My brief envy was merely a slight egotist reaction: since I had Mr.Wolfish and therefore great sex whenever he wasn�t at his goddamn work (which was why he was supposed to join us directly at the wedding place and no, I still didn�t know what the goddamn work was) I was still the lucky party. Anyway, Yumi had come to share the news with me, telling that I would be the only one to understand, which was true (Megumi disapproves of what she calls �futilities� and Tomoe doesn�t care about social circles): I was just touched by this delicate attention. It�s exactly the kind of simple moments of friendship that I treasure.
We went to the hotel by cab, and Yumi laughed because of the huge dress folder that I had brought with me.
�In case someone else wears the same dress as you? You must have at least twenty in this stuff! If Megumi was there, she would tell you that the probability is low already, and having seen the bride�s family, I can tell you that none has enough taste to wear couture,� she mocked.
I couldn�t tell her what it was, not wanting to play Cassandra (I was Aphrodite the day before and it was enough Greek influence for a while�I had declared it out of fashion years ago) and I couldn�t either deny it since actually, I would have been able to do such thing. Fine, I had done such thing before. Hey, I hate lack of originality, remember? There are few things more embarrassing than another woman �or transvestite- wearing the same dress at you, especially when there are photographs and that of course they pick on this detail and not on how good you look. I love my friends, but I don�t want to be called Kama-chan�s twin ever again.
�Talking about dresses, isn�t yours, well, a tad un-wedding like?� I insinuated.
She looked like Madonna in �Desperately seeking Susan�: black, lace, a touch of silver glitters and holes around everywhere.
�It�s Galliano for Yves Saint Laurent,� she just said.
I made the taxi stop at a corner in spite of her protests that we might end up late. I needed more coffee and bought two maxi-size cups: failing to recognize a Galliano dress, even from three years ago, is such a capital sin that I couldn�t commit it and I was hence surely still too sleepy. And don�t serve me the excuse of �appropriate for the occasion� like Tomoe always do when criticizing our clothes: if you wear a Great Designer dress, you don�t look ridiculous even at a trekking weekend. No, you do *not*, and I�m the specialist here.
Yumi had worried for nothing: we arrived only 5 minutes late, although I had ordered the cab driver to stay under 20 km/h. I had a vintage Givenchy dress, a pure marvel, and I would have died if I had spilled a drop of coffee on it. There are priorities in life: I wasn�t going to ruin an eternal treasure for a being on time to a marriage which might not last two years (if Misao develops taste in men, miracles happen).
Yumi was grumbling that in her current mood, Megumi would have our heads for our five minutes of delay, but she underestimated the presence of Misao�s best friend, Kamiya Kaoru. She�s �amongst other things that I will mention later- 24 and a caterer, and it�s my fault because it�s another youth sin on my part. Actually, it�s my last sin, and maybe this explains that. Kaoru launched her company five years ago, and invited to the cocktail where she served, I had made an excellent paper on her although I had come with the intention to shoot her on sight. The food was looking okay, but the taste was as good as Misao�s when it comes to choosing a groom. As a result, I ate only one appetizer and either because it was also full of viruses or because I replaced the canap�s by more wine and champagne, I was sick, I threw up once home, and the day after I had lost the last 500 grams that I needed to slide in the dress I had planed for the opera charity (a Lagerfeld). Very happy, I had lauded her food as �the best ally of the socialite on a diet� and like Kama-chan�s, her success lasted. Not my fault: I couldn�t have reversed the tendency even if I had tried. Having an extremely basic knowledge of economy, Kaoru had raised naively her prices in proportion of the demand, meaning that she had multiplied them by 200; and there is one theory that you can never go against with the rich: expensive is beautiful. Kaoru�s fortune was ensured.
It wasn�t because it was expensive that Misao had chosen her. As I said, they were best friends, since Kaoru had catered the dinner after the first Asian Championships that Misao won seven years ago. That�s of course when Kaoru became something else and that we had the Greek tragedy thingy. And Aoshi didn�t object, because I don�t know if I mentioned it already, but he doesn�t eat as far as I know: he merely drinks tea. You�d tell me that you rarely meet fishes using to eat a good steak for lunch�Of course, Cold Fish would never think of his guests, since and I quote Kama-chan here: �he only thinks of Misao, finally I think that he�s cute�. *gag*
Of course, I don�t dislike Kaoru as much as Yumi, Tomoe or Megumi do, but a) I don�t like to be yelled at when I�m still sleepy b) less when I still have a hot cup of coffee in hands and that I almost spill it on my Givenchy dress because of the abovementioned and unexpected yells. And when we arrived on the floor where the bride�s suite was, that�s exactly what Kaoru did, reproaching us to be late and did we have at least brought the alliances. Ah, I forgot: c) I don�t like not to be complimented when I look fabulous in a dress -and I did look fabulous- and to be yelled at instead, especially when the Young Yeller wears the most hideous bridesmaid dress I ever laid my eyes upon.
Courtesy of Kamatari Creations �as you had guessed- the outfit made the girl look like the hybrid spawn of a mauve bubble gum and a giant frog, which if possible was even less flattering with her red face (people having a tendency to turn crimson should never wear pink, mauve and green, but I think I already taught you this). It was as well, because Yumi just let her shout, with a naughty smirk, instead of crucifying her.
�That�s why I�ll always refuse to be a bridesmaid,� my friend murmured to me as we entered in the suite, the shouting session having to my surprise stopped before we were deaf, on the reproach that Misao was already in her dress.
I frowned, because Yumi�s remark was another sign that what I suspected would be realizing. I know that many insecure women reward the support of their friends by choosing for them ugly bridesmaid dresses, in order to be the best-looking for the wedding. As if looking good amongst a bunch of bubble gums was a prize and that people didn�t look mostly at the bride anyway�but Misao for sure wasn�t insecure or mean-spirited.
When we finally got in the apartment, I noticed Tomoe�s truly sorry eyes in her inexpressive face, Megumi trying to sort out a smile and her dress maybe a tad too tight around the stomach, Sayo and Tsubame in the same outfit as Kaoru, and what I thought was a giant wedding flan or a bunch of fresh cream, until I noticed Misao�s face in the middle.
�Oh, Misao, you look wonderful!� Kaoru cooed, imitated by Tsubame.
I could read the same words murmured on all my friends� lips: it was the same as in my brain. As long as a dress is white on a wedding day, simple-minded women have a tendency to find it wonderful even though it�s horrendous. I know that Kama-chan regrets that he�ll never marry because he�s gay, but it isn�t an excuse to make a summary of all kinds wedding dresses existing when asked to make one for the first time: it ended up as having no form, no style...it was a wedding bunch, actually.
�And the cut is so tasteful,� Sayo stressed.
Yeah, it was exactly the problem. If your clothes are called tasteful by any Convent Barbie, be sure to rush to your dressing room and to change: it means that you look like a potato in its bag.
�Are you sure?� Misao asked, looking dubiously at her reflection in the mirror. She had a nervous laugh: �I almost wish that Kama-chan didn�t offer it as a surprise: I�m a wreck, this morning, and I wouldn�t distinguish black from white. Tokio, is it truly fine?�
My bitchy heart melted at this manifestation of taste �considering her nervousness, doubting was enough- and at her trust in me. Yes, I like Misao, and bite me.
If you remember well, the relationships in our little group were a tad strained since the Montague-Capulet War and the Porn Bunny Incident, but all four of us just had to exchange a look for the strategy to be decided.
I answered, fingers crossed behind my back: �It�s great and it�ll be better with the flowers�By the way, where are your flowers, Kaoru-san?�
�At the reception, downstairs��
�Oh, really? I didn�t see them when we passed by��
I didn�t need more than a perplex frown for her to rush out with the other frog bubble gums.
�Can I have some coffee, Tokio?� Yumi asked, since she had gotten where I was going. I handed the cup to her.
Tomoe also guessed: she stood up, went to look at the window and said: �I didn�t know that there was a sports competition here today?�
�Oh, where?� Megumi exclaimed, standing up to join her, and she bumped into Yumi, who let the coffee cup drop and it spilled all over Misao�s dress.
Misao let out a desperate exclamation. �Oh, no! What can I do?�
�Nothing�let us arrange this,� I smiled, as Megumi and Tomoe were going in the lobby of the suite to get my Plan B dress folder �which contained a priceless Dior wedding dress, fairy *and* sexy- and while Yumi finished spreading coffee all over the front of the one Misao was wearing under the pretext to clean the stains, half to be certain that it couldn�t be hidden and hence that she would change clothes; and if you want my opinion, half to get back at Kama-chan�s whatever past involvement with the arsonist fireman.
***
Our mission was finished in less time than you�d need to say �wedding dress� and Misao was waiting calmly for her moment, in company of her bridesmaid ands of Tomoe, the only one with enough nerves and education to stand for several minutes the presence of the youngest bunch. Although Tomoe doesn�t resent Kaoru for what she currently is, I can�t help to think that seeing the girl looking even more ridiculous now that Misao looked fabulous could only be jubilatory to her. Well, it would have been to me in her place, at least�Tomoe might look above pettiness, but she does have feelings after all.
The incident had rekindled our friendship: we had had a hard time not to share a high-five when we left the suite. We arrived downstairs to realize that Tomoe didn�t completely invent the sports competition thingy. Unfortunately, it wasn�t a football, rugby or diving team with their supporters occupying the reception hall of the hotel, too bad since ogling is not cheating, but Misao�s relatives arriving from Aoshi�s apartment, where they had stayed since their landing in Tokyo the day before. The whole crowd of an Olympic stadium was probably less noisy than those twenty people, but unlike Yumi who rolled her eyes, I found them immediately sympathetic.
It was because of Cold Fish, who was standing in the middle in his wedding costume also created by Kama-chan, who didn�t disappoint me this time (did I already mention to you my friend�s passion for Kevin Costner, Robin Hood and men in tights? *done* mwahahaha!). I could imagine the permanent hell that was, for this fierce lover of silence and calm, the presence in the last two days of what I came to call the Makimachi Carnival�if you�ve ever been to Rio in February, you might get an accurate idea of the atmosphere. They waved little flags and banners �Misao and Aoshi for ever�, �Romeo and Juliet sucks� and �Misao 1- Celibacy 0� although Misao�s grandfather, Okina, had one reading �Make her happy, or else��. I wondered if it had been sponsored by Enishi since he must have trademarked the motto. When we arrived near enough to hear the �conversation� or rather the monologue, but it wasn�t Okina�s fault, Aoshi not mastering the simple concept of a conversation (i.e., answering when you�re talked to) we realized that the old man gave him advice on his sexual life�I was tempted to reveal to the oblivious ancient that if the apple of his eyes had had to pop a cherry whenever she and Aoshi had done it, she could bake pies for the next twenty years. I didn�t, not because I showed mercy towards Cold Fish, but because after I had made the perfect fashion bride out of Misao, I didn�t want my efforts to be ruined.
I understood why Kama-chan had had so many problems with Okina: nothing was good or big enough for his �pretty Misao� (meaning that he had never seen Aoshi naked, in my opinion and whatever Megumi and Misao pretend). Okina had awful taste of course, not �modern� like Kama-chan and his Star Trek/Barbie Future style, but awful taste as can be the trends never hype enough to become �vintage� and not ancient enough to pass as �historical�, which equals expensive, which equals beautiful as you know by now. Here in Japan it�s the 50�s (I don�t dare saying �Osaka�, although in bad taste the city is almost a quality brand) yakuza outfit, with Elvis� hairstyle, missing fingers, king size smoked-tan sunglasses and the killing detail: geta and a fan with the flashy two-buttons (heresy!) suit. Since I had undergone a severe training for the fifteen years plus of my friendship with Kamatari, I could overlook the style and found Okina charming: he complimented me all day on how young and sexy I looked�and since Mr.Wolfish was never exactly prolific in matter of nice words, I appreciated the old man�s company a lot.
Talking about Mr.Wolfish, he was leaning against the wall in the reception lobby. In his quality of best man (he refused the title �on the principle�, but it fitted him so perfectly, sigh) he had come with Aoshi, but in his personal car and not in the bus tour rented by Okina, unlike the groom (mwahahaha!). One or two Kansai noisy yakuza would have been thrown over Rainbow Bridge on the way, otherwise. I realized that I didn�t need nice words from Mr.Wolfish, actually: the way he looked at me when he saw me in the dress was way more telling than Okina�s compliments. I was looking around for a closet, in order to make up for our first meeting at the club where the one behind the cashier wasn�t available, when Megumi whispered to me:
�You�d better tell Kama-chan about the dress.�
Life can be unfair, but indeed I couldn�t let her do it (Megumi and diplomacy, remember?) and neither Yumi for obvious reasons. Regretfully sighing, I went looking for my friend in the large ballroom rented for the wedding.
There, I thought being witness of a strange case of personality change. Enishi, who was already in and checking the security dispositions (trust me: yakuza are way more efficient than the police) had veins popping from his temples, foam around his mouth, and was breathing heavily. Since it was the usual stance of the Evil Beasts, I wondered whether I should propose this phenomenon to a colleague directing a scientific magazine: they had published an article on masters influencing their pets� behavior, and very obviously Enishi was a living proof that the opposite could happen.
Nevertheless, looking in the direction which he stared fixedly at, I realized that it was only a symptom of his Pavlovian reflex: Himura Kenshin, the traitor who had dumped Tomoe, was standing in the part of the room where a wedding chapel had been installed. His diverse small retaliations had never soothed Enishi�s hatred for Himura, and it will last as long as Tomoe isn�t married, meaning never, if you want my opinion. I must say in his defense that since Kenshin met Kaoru at the Asian championships where he had come to encourage Misao and that he married the caterer, responsibilities were shared. Enishi might have accepted that Tomoe was dumped, but certainly not that she was preferred another woman (even though Himura had left her more than eight years before his marriage).
Misao and Kenshin were good friends, I knew it. They had sympathized when he had accompanied Tomoe to Kyoto in order to assure her protection while she studied there. They had stayed friend even though Kenshin, realizing suddenly that his way of life was disturbing his internal research for harmony or whatever other peace and love bullshit, left the mafia and Tomoe (he seemed to consider it as a package) and became a Buddhist priest �and if he had wanted Enishi�s resent to fade, he should have become a catholic priest, which is not so different in the principle, so you see that it�s his fault, too-. Personally, I see a pattern: Buddhist priest and yakuza are the two single professions where you don�t have to pay taxes. As you know I�m loyal to my friends, so I stay skeptical on his saintly motivations, and I regretted inwardly that Misao was loyal to her friends too, to choose this Buddhist priest for her wedding whereas there were millions others, and I�m sure millions better.
I hesitated to come in, since the Evil Beasts were sitting at the feet of Enishi, in the same stance, and that the three of them seemed ready to jump on Kenshin. If I got used to be a verbal collateral damage, I didn�t want me and less my dress to become a physical one.
�He�s cute, isn�t he?� Tami�s voice giggled next to me. �I like when he�s all angry like this��
�Hi, Tami,� I sighed, thinking that my friendship with Tomoe wouldn�t be rekindled for long when she would see that her brother had invited Tami at the wedding, which is almost an engagement in our circles. �If you can do something to calm him down��
�Why?� she frowned, more Minnie Mouse than ever. �Nishi and you hate this guy, and you must have serious reasons�plus, my babies need a tad of exercise. I just hope that he tastes better than his wife�s food��
�It would be nice to avoid a Greek Tragedy here�Misao would appreciate,� I retorted.
�Oh, you�re right. Nishi!� she waved. �Chou is talking to you, darling!�
It was rather infuriating to see that she had him whipped. He looked at her, gave her a grin, and although he still threw resentful glances in Himura�s direction, he was back from the dangerous zone. Life is truly unfair: I can�t ever hope for a drop of such obedience from Mr. Wolfish�s part.
�I just went to see Misao,� she then announced. �She looks wonderful; you did a great job�although she isn�t half fabulous as you!�
Why. Why did she have to be so nice?
�I�m glad that both of us could contribute to the good order of this wedding,� she went on, and explained as I stared at her questioningly: �The politician who should have done the discourse had a little accident, so I called an acquaintance of mine, an ex-diplomat just back from London, to replace him. Ah, Tomoe Nee-san! It�s nice to see you again.�
I braced myself, regretting that I didn�t have a jacket to stand the Siberian cold that would surely ensue. At least there would be no murder on this side, since they had already met upstairs in Misao�s room.
�That�s perfect,� Tami babbled, invulnerable to Tomoe�s lack of enthusiasm and waving at someone arriving after us, �I will introduce the new master of ceremony. This is��
Tomoe�s style, I thought, discovering the guy of our age, rather good-looking but not too manly, breathing perfect education and seemingly very nice�His name was Kiyosato�
�Akira!� Tomoe murmured, baffled.
�Tomoe!� he exclaimed, as stupefied as she was. �Yukishiro Tomoe? Do you remember me, we were together at��
�Kodoku Kindergarten, I remember you�It�s incredible!�
�What a great coincidence, I mean��he blushed.
Usually, a blushing man provokes in me a very lasting crisis of hilarity. There, I was too dumbstruck since I had understood who this Kiyosato Akira was. Tomoe meeting again her first love, the one she had never forgotten, at Misao�s wedding was�
�Oh, you know each other,� Tami clapped her hands, obviously delighted. �Wonderful, because Tomoe Nee-san, you know the family so well that I had hoped you could help Akira with the discourse after the ceremony��
�it was no coincidence. Definitely. I observed the couple for a second as Kiyosato Akira gladly ushered her away: Tomoe was transformed. Bye-bye, the noncommittal expression and sad eyes: she had a tad shy and content smile, portrayal of the simply happy young woman. Then I lifted a brow and glanced at Tami.
�Wasn�t it just too sad that they were apart,� she said innocently.
But she didn�t look innocent at all. �How do you know about him?� I asked.
�I read her diaries, of course,� Tami smiled. �If she�s happy, Enishi is happy.�
And Tomoe is off your back, I thought with a newfound embryo of respect for her deviousness, as she joined Enishi and addressed him with an adoring smile.
My sister is a Mary-Sue, yes�but an Evil Mary Sue. Finally, I might be able to live with it.
***
In spite of having to tell Kama-chan that Misao wouldn�t wear his wedding dress, which went rather better than I had expected (he suspected a trick of Yumi, and since in a way he was right, I didn�t deny nor confirm) this wedding day showed no signs of Apocalypse, on the opposite.
Of course, the Evil Beasts eating half of the buffet during the ceremony could be considered as a disaster, but who would have eaten it, after all? Human stomachs aren�t made to digest Kaoru�s food, and not liking waste I can only approve of the Doberman�s sacrifice.
Of course, the view of Misao in her wedding dress had the usual effect on Aoshi, enhanced by the fact that he wore tights. But after all, isn�t it reassuring to see that a new husband desires his young wife? Mm?
Of course, one of the bridesmaids fainting at the view of the �proof of Aoshi�s want� could have been a disaster, but for once Sayo was a source of entertainment to me, which is, after all, a miracle.
Of course, Yumi having changed the traditional tape about Aoshi and Misao�s lives with an Enishi and Girlfriend production could be considered as a disaster, but Tomoe didn�t notice because she talked with Akira, Enishi and Tami didn�t pay attention because one of the Dobermans seemed uncomfortable and Okina approved of, saying that Aoshi should take notes so that he could satisfy Misao.
No, the real disaster was me. I don�t know what happened, and I stick to my schizophrenia diagnosis. I was at the same table as Kenshin and Kaoru, which was cool since Mr.Wolfish seems to despise the former and to barely consider the latter as a living thing and that hence I didn�t have to share his attention with anyone else, but I�m sure the intention hadn�t been cool at all. Since Cold Fish wanted to avenge Saitoh�s mockery towards his marriage and that he dislikes me, and since Misao wouldn�t have done this to me if she could only suspect that everyone just doesn�t love her best friends, I was certain that the people of our table was Aoshi�s evil idea and I could only rejoice that he knew me so little and that his plan backfired.
Aoshi had surely hoped that I would also mind the presence of the numerous Himura kids. Kenshin and Kaoru had had five in seven years; and when you see that Kenji, their first born, isn�t exactly what one can call �precocious� since at five years old all that he does is giggling constantly, you wonder why the parents ever tried again, but anyway, they did. They had also Kenta, Kenshiro, Kaori and Kenshin Junior, and for being so obsessed with swords to place the kanji in the name of every of his sons, I suspect that Himura has issues with his personal saber. I�m just saying.
Yes, Cold Fish had tabled on my notorious dislike for kids, rumor I have to correct immediately: I don�t dislike kids. I dislike their mouths when they�re newborns, because of the garnished burps and saliva coming constantly out of their lips; and also their hands, always full of chocolate, jam or whatever, which is as you guessed death for the clothes I�m wearing. I even like clean and jam-free kids and babies, although I�m the first one to honestly admit that I have no particular interest in them and that I�m not patient either.
The amazing is that although they weren�t particularly good-looking, well-behaved and certainly not jam or chocolate-free (or whatever her mother puts in her food from Hell under those appellations) I actually found them cute, that day. I surprised myself thinking that if Mr.Wolfish and I were in the Himuras� place, we would educate our children better, and anyway ours would be so much more cutter, with his eyes and my hair and they would wear designers clothes for babies and children �and I could even have them on the cover of my magazine, with the title �Kids are the hype (if they look like mine)��
My reverie was diverted by Kama-chan and Chou, the other guests at our table. This is why I can assure you that our placement was Aoshi�s evil payback attempt: Misao knows that Kama-chan is my best friend, and I see her influence here (or maybe Aoshi used it as an alibi), but Saitoh can�t stand Chou�and since she isn�t crazy about Saitoh, Misao would have been very able to agree on this trick. Kama-chan wasn�t a happy companion this time: the Kinky Kids had gone a week earlier for a one year long Asian tour, and there was the dress (I felt bad about it, actually�but it was Misao�s day, not his). He was morosely not eating what he had in his plate, unaware that lack of appetite saved his life, as it seemed that even Dobermans� stomachs aren�t able to digest Kaoru�s food: the Evil Beasts had just ran past our table moaning �kai, kai, kai� and I heard what I first mistook for an avalanche but was actually a very frightening vomiting sound coming from the lobby, just before Tami and Enishi ran after their dogs in worry. Kenshin and Kaoru also went to see what was happening.
Also unaware of the bestial drama, Kama-chan let out a long sigh, and there under my widened eyes, Chou began to cheer him up. I would have thought that the bouncer was bound to fail, until he called my friend �baby�. Personally, it makes me cringe, but Kamatari just loves it and once more it worked beyond hopes. After five minutes, I could have sworn that there were hearts blinking in Kamatari�s eyes, especially when Chou asked where he had found the great fabric of his suit, because he wanted to change the cushions of the Blade�s backseat and that this would be perfect, was it velvet or chiffon?
Saitoh was observing the scene, half-appalled, half-bemused, and I was a tad worried.
�It�s Speedy Gonzales, and he isn�t gay,� I whispered to Kamatari, taking advantage that Chou had gone to fetch them some champagne. �You listened to him? He thinks that you�re a girl!�
Kama-chan is a regular at Sweet revenge, but he is always with a group and after the Kinky Kids, so he had never paid attention to Chou. As for Chou, he doesn�t pay attention to anyone except to the one who gives orders (Enishi) the orders themselves, and the Blade. I have to agree with Saitoh, Chou isn�t exactly on the bright side. The only one who could talk to him about our group was Yumi, but she certainly never mentioned Kama-chan.
�Don�t you always say that he�s in the closet?� Kama-chan retorted suavely, all depressive symptoms gone.
�He would be in the closet�if he knew that there was such thing as a closet,� Mr.Wolfish quipped.
�He totally pings,� I admitted. And it would explain why he was so bad in bed with women.
�So, I think it�s time that someone gives him the key,� Kama-chan said before he went to propose to Chou to get a look at those backseats, in order to see if the fabric fitted, what Speedy Gonzales accepted gladly.
Mr.Wolfish and I stayed alone at the table, while Aoshi and Misao cut the cake. Misao looked so happy (as for the groom you know the saying: Cold Fish will be Cold Fish), that I forgot the ruckus in the lobby. I exchanged a smile with Saitoh and I realized how well we got along, how perfect our relationship was, how great it would be to ensure it lasted forever, and that�s when I heard myself say:
�What do you think our family will look like?�
�Our what?� he said.
�I mean, do you sometimes think of our future�with kids like this, in cutter�and��
�What did you eat?� he uttered, puzzled for the first time since I knew him.
�Nothing�Hajime, I�m not sick.� I forgot that he had said he hated being called by his first name, but after all, everybody here called their significant other by it and I had the right after almost eight months of relationship, didn�t I? �Looking around here, I just wonder how you see our future, of course I don�t talk about kids immediately��
�That�s fortunate, because not only I don�t have the time to have kids, but I don�t want some. Children are a danger to a man�s mental stability. And my work doesn�t allow it.�
The goddamn work, again. Every now and then it deprived me of sex for several days in a row, and now it even deprived me of a cover of my magazine with my children on it? I was rightfully tired to hear of it.
�Your work, and by the way I still don�t know what it is, also prevents us from getting married?� I retorted.
�Not my work, elementary good sense and experience.�
�Experience?� I uttered.
�I�m divorced,� he explained on a conversational tone.
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT? This was a glance at how it felt in my head. In reality, I just choked: �What?�
Then, I thought of all the romance novels and films, Titanic, Legends of the Falls and co, which gave me very clearly the explanation for his behavior. I must say that not having been in love before him I didn�t trust myself to react and I thought for once relying on the professionals. They had a key for this lock: Mr.Wolfish was my hero, and like all the heroes, of course, he had to have a secret wound!!! If I understood and waited long enough (or manipulated him discreetly, through emotional blackmail, passive aggressive attitudes, sleeping with his brothers or going off the pill without telling him like all those romantic heroines are praised for) he would change his mind.
�I understand,� I said compassionately. �A divorce is a painful experience��
Professionals, my ass. Their keys might work with Charlie Brown, but not with a Wolf: mine laughed at my face.
�Actually, it was a welcome deliverance from marriage�which is why I will never marry again.�
�But she might have been a cruel person, who hurt your feelings��
He had stopped being entertained and glared disdainfully at me. �No, and now you can stop the rosewater clich�s. She was okay until we got married, when she became demanding, shrewish and needy�Marriage is a danger to women�s mental stability.�
I was getting outraged, and I completely understood Enishi: I wouldn�t accept that another woman was preferred to me, even if Saitoh had divorced her since. He had accepted to marry her, but he wouldn�t marry *me*??
�How do you know, you tried only once?� I argued.
�I happen to learn from my mistakes, and anyway you just confirmed my theory. Merely talking about it changes you into a needy moron. I never thought I�d see this face of you, but it�s as better that I do now, before I waste more time on you. Unless you were on drugs today, no need to call me ever again,� he said, standing up.
�What�but, I love you, you can�t��
�Correction: even if you were on drugs today, never call me again. It�s over,� he added severely, before he turned on his heels and went out.
I had blown everything, and didn�t understand why, or what had happened to me. Temporary insanity because I was in love and surrendered to social propaganda, maybe? Sudden fit of schizophrenia? Whatever, the identification of the cause didn�t count. I knew that he would never talk to me ever again.
Of course, the noise of the ambulances followed by Enishi irrupting the ballroom to threaten Kenshin with a painful death if the Evil Beasts were to die with indigestion �with Enishi, a woman is never guilty and all is always Kenshin�s fault- could have been called a disaster. But to be honest, it didn�t seem so terrible to me, comparing to my situation.
***
In a second state, I went to the rest rooms, to order my thoughts and because since I couldn�t trust my reactions today, I feared that I would cry in public. I had been humiliated enough.
Upon my entrance, I found myself face to face with Megumi and I realized that indeed, she had been gone from the reception since�almost the beginning. She was very pale: she had probably made the mistake to eat something at the buffet. She was luckier than me, since food poisoning wouldn�t have her dumped as she had no boyfriend. We looked at each other for a long moment.
�Saitoh left me,� I said then. My voice sounded normal, but never had I felt that weird saying something. It kind of made it real, and I�d have preferred to keep it a nightmare.
She blinked, and then she pointed to a little device next to the sinks.
�I�m pregnant,� she uttered.
Never mind the remark about being luckier. I blinked back. �OK, you win.�
I heard the door opening, and Tomoe entered with her enigmatically happy smile definitely settled on her lips. She announced almost merrily:
�You should come. Tami-san calmed Enishi down, the Dobermans will make it, and Akira�s discourse is going to begin and it would be impolite��
Megumi and I both pointed at the pregnancy test, without a word.
�Oh dear,� Tomoe gasped in a ladylike way.
She observed me and I pointed at Megumi. �She is knocked up. I was merely dumped.�
�Oh dear,� she repeated.
�Hey, I won�t let you hide in here while I have to listen to those sappy discourses...Oh. Tokio, I can�t believe you�re stupid enough not to use condoms!!� Yumi snarled, having noticed the test as soon as she had bolted in.
�We�ll blame Sanosuke,� Tomoe intervened serenely, and she made a step towards Megumi, putting a comforting arm on her shoulder.
Yumi walked to Megumi too, shaking her head. �Meg�you�re a doctor, for God�s sake,� she murmured, and then she hugged her.
I joined the group and took one of Megumi�s hands. �Maybe you should do another one, those things aren�t reliable��
�I�m a doctor,� Megumi answered with a sad smile. �I didn�t notice at first, after this I thought it was psychological, then I had serious doubts for three weeks, but I can�t deny it anymore�I know I am. I�m pregnant, for two months now.�
�What will you do?� Yumi risked. �I will go with you if you decide to�you know. You won�t be alone.�
Yumi is always practical. But Megumi stared at us three for a while, and then she said: �I�m keeping it.�
�Congratulations, then,� Tomoe smiled. �It�s happy news now��
Tomoe has always the appropriate reaction to social situations. She must be writing �Etiquette for dummies� under an alias.
�We�ll find Sano so you can discuss about it��I proposed, after we tried to sound happy and had another group hug.
�No,� Megumi answered. �It won�t work and he doesn�t care about me.�
�But Enishi could kick his neither regions�he won�t let you unwed and pregnant. He�ll make Sanosuke marry you in a heartbeat,� Tomoe insisted. �Or at least he�ll offer you whatever part of his anatomy that you want as compensation.�
She also knows very well the Yakuza etiquette in any occasion.
�My baby isn�t some bait, and I don�t want Sano back anyway. I can do it alone.�
�Don�t be stup��
I crushed Yumi�s foot to shut her up. Megumi had looked as if she hesitated between bursting into sobs and biting Yumi, and I was in the mood for none of those. We�d convince her later, or so I thought at the moment.
�You�ll be a great mother,� I smiled. �And we�ll all be there for you for anything that you need. You won�t do it alone. We�ll be super-aunties!�
Of course, I could have been smarter, but disasters always hide behind words you think the most innocuous. I didn�t know yet how much I was going to regret that sentence: I guess that I had too many things to regret already.
To be continued�
Some Buddhist priest can get married: it depends on the cult they belong to, and it�s the case of most of them in Japan.
Marriages in Japan are usually a rapid administrative procedure: there isn�t always a religious ceremony or a reception since those are very codified and expensive. The reception takes place in hotels in most cases: it�s a very formal dinner where the bride and groom there are lots of discourses, videotapes of the newlywed childhood etc. (for those with no family or friends, or who don�t want to show the real ones, those can be rented for the day by special agencies). It isn�t always all about the bride: if the social status of the groom is way higher (doctor marrying a nurse, CEO marrying his secretary) very likely he and his part of the audience will be the center of attention. The guests pay when they come (the tariffs are codified too, you have to count 30.000 yens minimum) and they receive omiyage (little presents) from the newlyweds.
Next chapter: It�s raining men: �Four Weddings and a Funeral� meets �Pulp Fiction�. Can Tokio survive a Nine Month nightmare, and will everybody find the good number in the Great Lottery of Love?
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Tokio Love Monogatari