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Homecoming	By : Akuma Category: +G to L > Hunter x Hunter Views: 11653 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Hunter x Hunter, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 6
- 7
- 8
Disclaimer:
NOT MINE!

Warning:
Read the previous chapters!

Killua
wakes up alone hours later with a start. He thinks he's going to wake up within
Illumi's embrace and is a little surprised when he can't find the latter. A
surge of fear suddenly washes over him. He can't understand why because he has
been used to darkness since the day he's born, but this time he's very afraid to
be alone in the dark.

His shaking hand
finds telephone next to his bed and, before he even realizes it, dials Illumi's
number.

"Aniki,"
Killua says before Illumi even has the chance to answer "Aniki, where are
you?" he knows his voice is shaky and sounds more fragile than he intends
but he doesn't care.

"What
happened? Are you okay?" Illumi's voice betrays a hint of worry.

"Yes.
But can you come here? Please?"

Illumi
falls silent on the other line. He seems to consider it for a while, but for
Killua Illumi seems to leave the conversation. Somehow the idea of being alone
makes him uneasy.

"A...
aniki?" he calls, his voice more shaky than before. "Aniki? Are you
there?"

"Yes."
the response comes immediately, "I'll be right there." and he cuts the
line.

Killua
doesn't move from his previous position. With his right hand still holding the
phone, he embraces himself and his legs are bent until his knees brush his
forearms. He doesn't move at all until Illumi enters his room.

Illumi
gently pries the phone from his brother's fingers and returns it to its previous
place. He turns on bedside lamp, sits on the bed with his back leans on he
headboard then pulls Killua into his embrace. The latter has his eyes close the
whole time and his body is cold and stiff like corpse but after Illumi hugs him
he seems to relax a little. He even leans his head on Illumi's chest, letting
him smell his natural scent.

"You
were gone...." Killua finally says. His voice is nothing but a mere
whisper. "You left me... and I... I.... I'm scared...."

Illumi
is stunt upon hearing the confession. He didn't think that... He thought that
his presence on the boy's bed, hugging him would only make matter worse. He
never thinks that.... that Killua will need him, want him close during the whole
internal battle. But Killua called him, asked and pleaded for him to come to his room and accompany him....

"And
it was... so dark... and I...."

This
time Illumi really kisses Killua's tears away. The boy doesn't look reprimanded
at all. He just looks at him with those sad eyes that look darker with fear and
wider in anticipation, or is it shock? Which ever it is it doesn't matter for
Illumi anymore. The only thing matter to him is how to make the boy in his arms
returns to his old cheeky self. Illumi never thinks he will miss that childish
side of Killua this much but in this situation he will even let Killua leaves
him for his friends forever if Killua asks.

"...aniki?..."
comes Killua's unsure voice.

"Killua."
It's funny how the name comes out of his mouth; it sounds so distant and full of
longing and sorrow. "I will never leave your side if you want me to. Just
tell me, and I'll do It." he punctuates each and every words, wanting
Killua to understand that he's serious about his words.

Killua
just looks at him with those indigo eyes of his for several heartbeats. Just
when Illumi thinks he'll refuse and or leave the question hanging, Killua
answers.

"Don't
leave me. Please don't leave me alone like that again."

Illumi
must fight hard with the impulse to kiss those pink lips so he ends up kissing
Killua's forehead instead.

Killua
sobs against his throat. "I want you to be the last thing I see before I
sleep. I want you to be the first one I see when I wake up. I want you to be
there every time I need someone to turn to."

Those
words are murmured in a throaty voice. Before the incident Illumi would have a
boner if he heard them but right now he knows better than to ruin the trust
Killua has given him slowly with such indecent behavior. Now instead of
imagining obscene thoughts he rests his forehead on Killua's. Identical yet
different pairs of eyes gaze at each other, Killua's are wider and livelier,
giving hints of innocence while Illumi's have darker shade of indigo and cold,
giving impression of cool and emotionless soul.

"Then
I shall be." his expression is blank but there is a hint of amusement and
relieve in his voice that makes Killua smiles slightly. Snuggling up against his
eldest brother, Killua lets Illumi's heartbeat lulls him to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~&*&~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And
Illumi keeps his promises, all right. He hugs Killua to slumber land, gives
warmth when the force of nightmare drains his body heat away, kisses the tears
on his cheeks after his nightmare wakes him up, strokes his sweat damp body to
sleep again, stays there until he wakes up the next morning.

Illumi
never mentions it but he often stays awake long after Killua's asleep just to
look at the latter's face. At those moments of silence he silently wishes it is
him who makes the boy smiles in contentment and satisfaction and he imagines
Killua's sweat when he has a nightmare are because of other reasons he wishes he
could do. He wants to touch Killua the way the men did, but gives Killua
pleasure and satisfaction instead of pain and shame. And when Killua wakes up
from his sleep he wishes the smile on his lips is a loving one and his eyes are
filled by warmth, adoration and love....

But
Killua never does that. His smile is that of a relieved and grateful one and his
eyes though warm but aren't filled by love. He often finds himself waiting
disappointedly for Killua who's in the bathroom. And when Killua finally comes
out of the little chamber and looks at him with a confused look on his face, he
extends his arms and let Killua walks shyly into his embrace. When they hug each
other, he can pretend they are more than just... this. When Killua's in his arms
he can forget their elders, the mission, the training and everything else but
Killua until he must return to his own room to prepare himself for the next
training session.

For
four days they've spent their training breaks just holding each other and
talking. Although it takes all of his efforts to get the boy close to him but it
pays off when Killua sagged his shoulder forward, a sign that he truly relax,
and when he does the Illumi will rest his chin on top of Killua's head, his own
way of showing how much he appreciates private gestures like that.

"Killua?"

"Mm?"

"About
four days ago. Tell me." It is an order and not a plea. They both know that
well.

Silence
is the only answer he receives. Killua's body goes stiff under his touch and as
much as he regrets the question, he doesn't have any choice but to ask it now.
Their elder can come anytime this week and they won't be able to be together
like this anymore. This is the best time to sort things up between them, whether
Killua's ready or not.

"Killua,"
Illumi calls "Was it because of me?'

"No."
Killua shakes his head slowly, "It was no one's fault. I just...
remembered."

"I
reminded you, then?"

"Aa...."
Killua mumbles.

"I'm
so sorry...."

"S'okay.
I.... When you... my neck.... It reminded me of... that man...."

"He
did it to you?"

Killua
nods. "� it was... they were going to... I don't know... but it
was...."

"It's
okay. You don't have to be ashamed...."

"But
they... when they... did that... touched me... I...."

"Enjoyed
it?"

"....
Aa...." Killua nods. His head bows in sorrow. "I don't deserve
living...."

"Killua!"
Illumi gasps in response. He turns Killua's body to face him and searches for
his eyes. "It is them who deserve to die, not you! And they had!�

Killua
buries his face in Illumi's neck. Illumi feels wetness on his neck so he starts
to stroke Killua's back lightly. The boy's quivering and with his arms clutching
his sides; he looks more fragile than ever.

"Your
body's response is not something you must be ashamed of.... I would've felt the
same if I were you...."

"But
I... when they...."

"It's
only natural, Killua. It was supposed
to feel good."

"I...
but still... it wasn't my place to...."

"Did
it feel good?"

Killua
only snuggles closer in response.

"Killua,
answer me!"

"....
It did...."

"Then
it's for good. It could be awful, but it didn't. Nothing had changed in you and there's nothing to regret."

Killua
sobs in the hollow of his neck.

"I've
promised you, remember? I will always be there for you no matter what. I will always
love you." Illumi can't contain himself anymore. His love confession
just slips past his mouth without giving him chance to consider the result.

K'so.
He curses inwardly. Of all time for love confession why in the middle of an
important thing like this! Hisoka is right. Killua's not naive. He knows
about... things, more than a kid should. And he's not at all clueless
about male-male relationship due to the incident. If he ever thinks of
Illumi as a shotakon perverts then it's the end of his efforts in getting closer
to the boy. K'so.

Killua
looks at him with teary eyes in a mixture of... some things and Illumi wonders if
he must take back his words.

"Hon...
honto ni?"

Illumi
sighs in relief and leans in to kiss Killua's cheek. He hasn't been rejected! He
knows maybe Killua only thinks of it as brotherly love and though he means more
than that, he's contended with the fact that Killua has at least heard his
confession.

"Yes,
Killua." he whispers. Their faces only millimeters apart and each letter
brings their lips together in a gentle brush. "I will always do. No matter what, I won't care."

Then
Killua kisses him.

It's
just a light kiss on the cheek, but it means so much for him. All this time he's
the one initiates all gestures of affection and Killua's initiative means the
boy hasn't only given him his trust but also the key to his heart, giving him
the chance to be a permanent part of it....

"....
Thank you...."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~&*&~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good? Bad? R&R minna-san!!
- 6
- 7
- 8
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