Illusions of Life

Disclaimer: Gravitation and it’s characters are not mine. I make no money off of them.

EiriXShu

NC17 but not until chapter 10 (sorry.)

If you have time, please review.

Illusions of Life


Chapter 7

The Look of Love


When your world is full of strange arrangements
And gravity won’t pull you through
You know you’re missing out on something
Well that something depends on you

All I’m saying, it takes a lot to love you
All I’m doing, you know it’s true
All I mean now, there’s one thing
Yes one thing that turns this grey sky to blue

That’s the look, that’s the look
The look of love

Oh, this was the absolute height of insanity. What was I thinking when I agreed to this madness? Was I thinking that I would somehow gain control of the situation? This DATE I was about to embark on? I even let him take me shopping and pick out what to wear. For fuck’s sake!!! What was wrong with me?

So, a week after our shopping trip, while I waited for my DATE to pick me up, I sat on my couch fuming and chain smoking in my recently purchased *jeans*. At least he had allowed me black jeans. I also wore black, *size-too-small* t-shirt underneath a loose dark green silk shirt. I also had on some stupid ribbon wristbands. I had put my foot down over the matching ribbon choker. And gods help me, I was wearing Doc Martin boots. I looked…well, gay!!

Not to mention the fact that part of me was extremely concerned that Shuichi was really just stringing me along. Waiting until I fell hook, line and sinker into his trap in order for him to dump me with maximum damage. The thought had crossed my mind on more than one occasion in the last week. I didn’t really think he would but…

There was a knock at the door and I opened it in a daze. Shuichi looked me up and down and was grinning like a maniac. “What?” I snapped at him, “I know I look like an idiot. No need to rub it in.”

He shook his head still grinning, “On the contrary. I think you look hot!”

“Huh. Sure you do.” I looked at him skeptically, but he showed no sign that he was teasing me. He was dressed in skintight, hip hugging, black leather pants. His sleeveless shirt was also leather but it was a deep, rich crimson and was held loosely together by laces at the either side, the front of his shirt was also kept together by lacing, and it was shockingly open. Whenever he moved, I could glimpse his navel and the top of his hipbones and that oh, so tantalizing nipple ring that I hadn’t gotten to touch yet. He also wore ribbon wristbands with the ribbon choker and to finish off his look, he had matching crimson boots. He had dyed his hair black for the occasion, with about an inch of the ends crimson. His darkened hair made his eyes seem like glowing amethysts. “You look…edible,” I mumbled, embarrassed at saying such things out loud to him.

He quirked an eyebrow at me and smirked, “You really can be charming when you are sincere, you know that?”

I shook my head, “It’s much easier to be charming when I’m insincere. This, this is… hard”

“Why Eiri,” he smiled at me, “you may be human after all.”

“Don’t count on it,” I groused at him. “So when and where does this roller coaster ride of a night begin?”

He picked up the small bag lying at his feet and slung it over his shoulder. Then he reached out and took my hand and gave me a sidelong look, “Just hang on to me. It’ll be fun.”

I squeezed his hand back, “Don’t let go.”

There was a limo waiting for us downstairs. A chauffeur greeted us as he opened the door, “Shindo-sama, it’s excellent to see you again.”

“How are you, Akira-san?” Shuichi smiled at him.

“Very well, sir.” The chauffeur’s eyes looked completely through me as I slid into the car, “The usual starting place, sir?”

“Yes, thank you,” Shuichi slid in next to me as the door closed softly behind him.

I was staring at him, “Do this often, do you?”

He wouldn’t meet my eyes, “Often enough. Akira-san is wonderful, never blabs to the tabloids and always makes sure I get home. He looks out for me on nights like this.”

Nights like this. I let that implication slip past but I definitely felt the roller coaster moving now, that long slow ascent before the terrifying plummet on the other side. I’m no angel and I’ve done more than a little bit of partying in my lifetime, but all of a sudden, I felt like an amateur.

“Want a drink?” My date asked me.

“Yeah. I could use one,” I breathed.

He slid over to the built in mini-bar and meticulously began making me a drink. Well, I’ll be damned, it was a martini, no less. I sipped it as he watched me and I nodded, “Good.”

He smiled at me. It was the carefree smile of old, oddly out of place with the martini glass in his hand, but still heartwarmingly genuine.

“What?” he asked me, referring to my continuous staring.

“I don’t know. If I have to be honest, I’m a little confused by you. You’re so different but you’re not. You’re mysterious, wild and a little scary now.” As usual, I struggled with the words.

He sipped his own drink, “Do you like it?”

“The way you are now?” I mulled over my answer. “I’m not really sure yet. That’s why I’m here tonight, to get to know you.”

“Is that why you are scared?”

I glared at him, “I’m not sure I’m ready for this conversation.” This was a little too close and a little too fast for me.

“Can’t stand me having the upper hand, can you?” he sneered at me. “Still afraid to let anyone near your heart.”

Was he pissing me off on purpose? “You’re one to talk. From what I can tell, you’ve used and abused quite a few people. Some of them your very good friends.”

“Ouch, Eiri, you wound me,” he said dramatically, placing the back of his hand to his head. Then he grinned, “Oh, lighten up, will you? We are supposed to be having fun tonight.”

I sighed, praying for patience, “You just like to push my buttons, don’t you?”

He sipped his drink again and stared at me with his violet gaze. He didn’t say anything.

The limo slowed and then stopped all together. He broke into a grin, “First stop! I hope you are hungry.”

It was a quirky, trendy Sushi bar on the 25th floor in the heart of Shibuya. People were lined up waiting for tables but when the headwaiter saw Shuichi he waved us to the front.

The crowd became excited when they realized who we were, and began whispering and jockeying for position to a get a better glimpse. I couldn’t help but overhear two young ladies watching us with great attention, “Look, it’s Yuki Eiri with him. They must be back together!!”

Her friend squealed in delight, “They are so perfect together!!”

I felt the need to smoke. And drink.

The headwaiter led us to a quiet, secluded room that held a magnificent view of the city. I was surprised that the place turned out to be so classy and romantic. As we settled in I couldn’t help but ask, “Do you bring a lot of people here?”

He smirked at me, “Why? Are you jealous?”

“Maybe. A little, yeah.” I admitted. And why not. This night was THE TEST, right? This night would make or break us, so I might as well let fly with everything.

He was in temporary shock. Oh yeah. I kept forgetting that the sincere truth from me seemed to rattle him. “Uh, no. Not often. Usually I’m here by myself for dinner before I hit the scene. Best fatty tuna in town.”

The scene. I fought a shudder. “The best, huh? Well, since you know what’s good, why don’t you order for us.”

“Really? Um, okay, I will.” His eyes shown with childlike exuberance.

Oh, I remembered that look. It was so fucking cute. And suddenly, my jeans were much too tight.

We had the fatty tuna, unogi, and some other delicacies at a leisurely pace, while I sipped imported Hefeweizen and he had tea. We carefully reminisced of our past experiences together. I felt myself relax as I divided my time looking out over the city and at my sexy date next to me. When we finished, I touched his knee lightly and told him that I really enjoyed it.

We stared at each other for a few moments before he leaned forward and kissed me. It was a gentle, sweet kiss, but still liquid fire shot through all the way to my toes. My hand curled around the inside of his thigh and squeezed.

“No, no, no,” he taunted me, grabbing my hand, jumping to his feet and pulling at me to also stand. “We have a long night ahead of us yet. No skipping ahead.”

“Riiiight. Okay.” All I could think about was skipping ahead.

“Come on,” he tugged on my arm and I dutifully followed.

When we were fully situated in the limo again, Shuichi pulled out his bag and fished around inside it for a few moments. He produced a bottle that contained several pills. I watched him closely as he handed one of the white, innocuous looking pills to me. I took it from him but continued staring at him, waiting for an explanation.

He shrugged, “Well, you said that you are no good on the dance floor. This will just… make that experience easier for you.”

“Ecstasy?”

He nodded, watching me warily, “Don’t worry. I’ve already taken this particular version. It’s a pretty light dose.”

Inwardly, I smiled. I wasn’t a newcomer, by any means, to attitude adjusting drugs. I found it endearing that he felt it necessary to look out for me. “Okay, but only one. And only if you kiss me.”

He smiled in relief, “Okay. Agreed.”

I took the pill and popped it in my mouth. I reached for the bottle of water in Shuichi’s hand. Instead, he tipped the bottle up and took a big chug. He slid his leg over mine to straddle my lap, placed his lips on mine, and the water from his mouth slipped into mine some dribbling down our chins. I was surprised and completely turned on as I somehow, managed to swallow both the pill and the water.

I was moaning when he broke the kiss. He took his own pill and chased it with the water as I nuzzled his neck and let my hands roam over him. After he swallowed, he tossed the bottle aside and grabbed my hair with both hands, pulling me into a scorching kiss. My arms pulled him close, my tongue clashed with his and my whole body began to quake with the burning need to have him. I groaned with my need and my hands wandered down to pull at his hips, bringing his groin tight against mine. He moaned in response but pulled away from me. I nipped at his collar bone and tried to keep him trapped on my lap.

“No,” he panted, “not yet, Eiri. No skipping ahead.”

I growled my frustration, but let him loose.

He smiled softly and rested his forehead against mine, “That year and a half getting to you, eh?”

I was still breathing hard but I pushed him off of me anyway, “You might say that.” I was more than slightly pissed at him for teasing me so. Now I was determined to show him that I wasn’t that needy. This would be a long night and it was time to remember my tricks of old. I used to love making Shuichi want me, wait for me, teasing him then cooling him off with my feigned indifference. I found it remarkably unfair that he could now use that same trick on me.

I lit a cigarette and willed away the tightness in my groin. “So, where are we off to now?”

Was he pouting? Heh.

He peeked out the window just as the limo slowed, “Ah, here we are now.” His eyes began to twinkle as he looked at me, “I have to warn you about this place, Eiri. It’s a big NG hangout.”

Well, wasn’t that just fucking terrific?

It actually turned out to be a very nice, quiet little place, and as the brat said, only a few blocks away from NG Studios. It was also a private club, which explained a lot. It was a place where people of interest could enjoy themselves without fear of paparazzi or rabid fans. The big bouncer at the door greeted Shuichi as an old friend as he waved us through his security.

A hostess met us at the proper entrance and she led us through the place to Shuichi’s “regular” table. We sat down at a small, intimate raised table with matching bar stool chairs.

I looked around, “Very nice. I’d have to say that your tastes have improved dramatically.”

His eyes were sparkling, “Maybe you should reserve your judgment until the night is over.”

“Hn. Is that your way of telling me that the next stop will be unsavory?”

He nodded enthusiastically, his small smile evident, “Most definitely. Very unsavory.”

A waitress showed up with two martini glasses and set them down with a smile. Shuichi picked up his glass, “Melon martini. Try it.”

I sipped. “Interesting. Trendy, but not really my thing.”

“Yeah,” he chuckled, “nor mine. Just something to take the edge off.”

“You were pretty hammered when you got home the other night,” I reminded him as I lit a cigarette.

He grimaced, “Yes, I was. But it really is not my thing. As you know, I don’t handle it well. I don’t like the whole “what happened last night” thing.”

I smirked, “So do you not remember what happened that night?”

“I remember you throwing me in the shower. The cold shower,” he grumbled at me.

Leaning back, I took a deep drag on my cigarette, “I was just trying to cool you off. You were all over me.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t take advantage,” he smirked back at me.

“I might have if you hadn’t had someone else with you,” I growled at him. “It sort of ruined the mood for me.”

His gaze shifted from me. Got him.

We sat in silence for a few moments until finally he asked, “Do you ever get used to being alone?”

I caught my breath, “Are we speaking before we were together, or after? Because before you burst into my life like a freight train, I… I didn’t even realize I was lonely.”

He shook his head and smiled, “Just when I think I have you figured out, you say some shit like that.”

I returned his smile.

“Shuichi?” a voice broke our sappy moment, “Hey, it is you!! How are you, honey?”

“Mirai?” he stood up, “Oh gods!! It’s good to see you!” He gave the attractive girl a bear hug, “you look great.”

“You too, honey. Looks like you’re ready to go tonight. Who’s the lucky boy?” She grinned at him and then turned to me.

Oh, shit.

“Eiri?” she stuttered at me. “Yuki Eiri. Well, I’ll be damned. How are you?”

I nodded at her, “Mirai. Long time.”

Shuichi looked from Mirai to me and then back again. “So,” the edge to his voice was shocking, “you two know each other, do you?”

Son of a bitch. Shifting uncomfortably in my chair I said, “Yeah…”

Mirai laughed, “Oh, Shuichi honey, don’t be jealous. Eiri and I were ancient history long before the two of you ever met.” She grinned at both of us. Suddenly, I remembered what I had found so appealing about her.

He flicked her on the nose, “You should have told me anyway, Strawberry Girl.”

She laughed again, “Well, who knew this situation would ever happen? Besides, it would have only made you sad.”

“Hey, Shuichi!” It was the psycho American manager, K, calling from across the room. He was flanked by Nakano and Sakuma. “Come here for a moment.” Bad Luck’s manager looked at me and smiled, “Just a few moments.”

Shuichi looked at K, and then at the two of us. He was clearly unsure about leaving us alone together.

Mirai grinned at him, “It’s okay, honey. I promise to keep my hands to myself. Besides, you know you are the only one for me.”

His eyes shifted to me. He waited. I met his stare and mumbled, “Eighteen months. Why start now?”

The smile he gave us could have easily lit up all of Tokyo and he scampered away.

Mirai smiled softly after him, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so happy.” She studied me, “I wonder, is it because of you?”

I waved at the empty chair, “So, you’re the Strawberry Girl, huh?”

She slid into the seat and sipped Shuichi’s untouched martini, “Yeah. One night, not long after you left, I’m told, he stumbled into my restaurant. Literally. Knocked over some huge vase we had as a decoration. He made quite the scene.”

“Sounds like him,” I couldn’t help but smile at the visual.

She chuckled, “Yes. When I came out to see if he was hurt, he just…sort of melted down.” Her smile disappeared, “He started crying and I couldn’t get him to stop so I took him home with me. Next thing I knew, he was practically living with me.” She sipped her drink again and stared at me, “He didn’t want anything from me, well other than to not be alone. You really messed him up, Eiri.”

I met her accusing stare but found that I was incapable of speech. I swallowed hard and nodded at her, acknowledging the implications of what she said to me.

She sighed and looked at the ceiling, “In the end, he finally stopped coming around and left me all alone. It could have been different if…”

“He wasn’t gay?” I finished for her as I finally found my voice.

“Yeah. You would have never gotten him back then. I promise you that.”

I raised an eyebrow at her, “Well, I don’t have him back. Yet, anyway.”

“Really?” She looked over at Shuichi who was, in turn, watching us, only half heartedly listening to K. She grinned at him and waved. He grinned back. “Oh, I think you do have him back.” She met my gaze again, “Don’t hurt him again okay, Eiri? I don’t think he’d survive.”

“If it makes you feel better, Mirai, I don’t think I would either,” I muttered as she stood up and pecked me on the cheek.

“Good. Later you sexy thing,” I watched her walk towards Shuichi and K. In moments the three of them were smiling and laughing.

I put my elbow on the table and rested my head on my hand as I watched Shuichi closely. All I could think about was how utterly beautiful he was.

“He really is hot,” my brother announced as he slid into the recently vacated chair and stared at Shuichi with me.

“What do you want?” I snapped at the interloper.

He raised his hands in surrender, “Only to say hello to my darling brother.” He looked at me again, “And to ask you what happened to your sense of style?”

I glared at him.

“Yeah, yeah, I know. All for Shuichi.” He pulled out a cigarette and sparked it to life. He met my glare and sighed, “I know what you are thinking. I didn’t sleep with him.”

I continued to stare.

“I’ll admit it, I wanted to. And we almost…but then…” he grimaced. “Let’s just say we didn’t.”

I scoffed at him, “He scared you, didn’t he? Never mind. Don’t answer that, I don’t want to know.” I sipped that horrible drink again. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m here with Ryuichi and Hiroshi,” he said smugly.

“With them or stalking them?” I accused.

“Hey, they invited me! Sort of,” he defended himself lamely.

I drank again. I was horrified to realize that I was smiling. I schooled my features. I drank again and the glass was empty. I smiled again.

Uh oh.

Tatsuha reached out and grabbed my chin forcing me to make eye contact. He began to laugh, “Oh brother dear, are you on the Shuichi Express?”

“Well. My, my, my,” Nakano stepped up behind my brother. “Giving control away, are you? Very unlike you. I would have never thought you capable.”

They began to laugh.

And I was smiling with them, damn it!! I couldn’t control it.

But I was saved, “All right, you guys, that’s enough.” Shuichi appeared at my side, also smiling. He grabbed my hand, “Come on, Eiri. Time to get unsavory.”

“So, Shu, are you going to go the Hammer?” Ryuichi asked as he joined us.

Shuichi nodded, “Yeah, I think so.”

“Then we’ll probably see you there,” Nakano smirked at me.

“Maybe…” Shuichi said coyly to his long time friend, “probably.”

Now what was that all about?

Shuichi smiled soothingly at me, tugged on my hand and led me back to the limo.

I had the feeling we were about to hit the first loop to loop on the ride.

TBC

Lyrics for The Look of Love - ABC