Realities of Life

Disclaimer: Gravitation is not mine and I make no money from using the characters.

NC 17

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Realities of Life


Chapter 7

Push Me Shove Me

Motion always seemed to me
The way I ought to go
No one now gets in my way
I won't let my heartache show
The same situation
Won't bring me down no more
I get on without you now
I don't need your help for sure

Push me, shove me
I don't call that love me
Call that over


My head hit the pavement with a jarring thump and my vision blurred. I wasn't sure if my fuzzy vision was brought on by the blow to my head or from the pain in my heart.

No more pain! I told myself as I pushed the emotional hurt away, compartmentalizing it and locking it away in that dark area of my mind. I'd deal with that later.

And it had started out to be such a good day.

Yuki had gotten up with me and made me breakfast while I got ready. It was really nothing special, but sweet nonetheless. I had even gotten to work a little early and made K very happy. Even Suguru was pleased, which made him a little less pissy than usual. Hiro had been the late one today. He'd also looked terrible. I had meant to ask him about that, but we got down to business straight away after he arrived. I'm such a bad friend sometimes.

Then Kyo had popped into the studio to say hello and I had suddenly felt inspired. When I had finished writing the final song for our CD, Hiro and Suguru were able to begin laying down the musical tracks. K was pleased and said I could go home early. Of course, there really wasn't much I could do until it was time to record the vocals, anyway. I called Yuki and whined at him to come get me, blaming the rain. He didn't even put up much of a fight about it.

An hour later, I came running out of the studio to wait for Yuki.

But he was already there. And Kyo was with him.

My heart started pounding in my chest with panic. Kyo really didn't know what Yuki was capable of. Kyo was playing with fire. I had asked him to leave Yuki alone. Why? Why, would he do this?

I didn't know what to do so, like a fool, I followed my first instinct. I burst on to the scene just as I heard Kyo mention the sharing idea. What a nightmare.

I should have been able to predict Yuki's reaction. He turned and walked away, and I should have let him go. It was typical of him, after all. Instead, seeing his retreating figure triggered some freakish, Pavlovian response in me. I started crying and I chased him, wailing some nonsense about trying to work everything out. And then... Well, after that everything is a little hazy.

I could hear muted voices faintly swarming around me now, but I couldn't make sense of the words. Trying to concentrate made my head hurt, but the pain I felt there was nothing compared to the slicing sensations in my chest. Something was clawing at me from the inside, something trying to break free. I fought these unknown surges, nausea, and my desire to sleep and tried to focus on my surroundings.

I heard those voices again. The tones were familiar to my ears. One sounded like Kyo, only he was swearing. Kyo didn't swear.

I became vaguely aware that I was lying on the wet ground and that, for whatever reason, my hands, knees, as wells as my head throbbed with a dull ache. My tears had already stopped falling and I was very sure they that would not come again. Maybe not ever.

That unidentified emotion surged in me again. Later. I would deal with it later.

"Shuichi?" Suddenly, Kyo's concerned voice became crystal clear as he called me back from the edge of despair. "Shuichi, come on, answer me."

Someone else was talking now. Was that Tohma? And maybe K? How long had I been lying here? I remembered a car and...

I shuddered and pushed the memory away. Later.

Gentle fingers brushed at my hair and I heard Kyo's voice crack with emotion, "I don't know, Tohma. I can't get him to respond to me."

"Do you think he's too hurt to move?" That was K.

"I don't think so. He hit his head and might need some stitches. He might also have a concussion. But other than that, I don't think he's hurt physically."

"I've already called our doctor. I hate leaving him out here in the cold. Can we move him inside?" Was that Tohma? It couldn't be, that person was too concerned. Then again, Tohma wouldn't want a scandal, so maybe it was him.

My head was moved into someone's lap, I could feel the warmth. Was it Kyo?

"Shuichi, please. Please look at me."

I forced my eyes to focus and I looked into emerald-green eyes filled with desperation.

Raising my hand I touched his face, "What’s wrong, Kyo?"

He shook his head, misery etched on his features, "You tried to tell me, tried to warn me, and I wouldn't listen. I almost got you killed."

"No. He wouldn't have killed me." I shivered again.

"Shu, he tried to run you over. I had no idea he was so dangerous." He struggled to hold back his unshed tears, "I'm such an idiot. I'm so sorry."

"He's not dangerous. He's hurt." That was reasonable, right? Reason to try to run over your lover...

I pushed that thought away. Later. I would think about that later.

My head was starting to clear.

K kneeled down next to me, "Can you walk?"

"Of course," I untangled myself from Kyo and stood. I didn't even wobble, much. "See, perfectly fine. Nothing to worry about."

Kyo slipped his arm around my waist and said softly, "Come on. Let's tend to your wounds."

"Wounds?" I said curiously and looked down. My pants were torn at both knees and I could see the wet, dark stain of blood that ran down my pant leg. My hands were covered in scrapes. But that's all they were, just scrapes. I'd live.

We went back inside to one of the break rooms and Kyo fussed over me until the doctor showed up and took over. His diagnosis was a split scalp with a mild concussion, a few scrapes and bruises, and severe emotional trauma.

What a genius.

I was lying on one of the couches with an ice bag on my head when Tohma came in. I recognized the look he gave me. We were about to have a "talk."

He pulled a chair close to me and considered what to say for a moment. "Shuichi, Kyo said that he had to pull you out of the way of Eiri's car. That Eiri was trying to kill you."

I shook my head, "Yuki wouldn't kill me."

Tohma started at my response. Almost remotely, I wondered why.

I sat up and the bloody towel that was wrapped around the ice bag fell off my head and into my lap. I touched it with curiosity, so much blood. I looked at Tohma again, "You should talk to Yuki. I think he's very upset."

"Shuichi," he stared at me with sympathy, "are you feeling all right?"

"Sure. I don't know why everyone is acting so strange."

Just then, Hiro burst into the room, panic and fear etched on his face, "Shu, K just told me what happened. Are you okay?"

I fingered the bloody towel and something threatened to burst loose inside me, clawing at the closed door I had barred it behind. I pushed it away again.

"Yeah, I'm okay." I took a good look at my friend. He looked like hell. "Are you okay? Is there something wrong with you? ‘Cause you… look a little rough today."

Hiro traded a surprised glance with Tohma, "It’s nothing, Shu. Really.”

“Oh, come on,” I complained at him. “You can’t fool me. What’s going on?”

His eyes filled with sadness, “It’s… Ryu and I... we..."

I nodded. That was too bad. Still, Ryu was a lot for anyone to handle. Hiro really deserved someone who would required a little less maintenance. Someone that he wouldn't have to worry about all the time. Someone who would love him. Hiro deserved happiness.

"What about you Shu? Don't you deserve that, also?" Hiro said with sorrow-filled eyes.

I smiled, "Sorry, Hiro. I hadn't realized I was speaking out loud."

His eyes narrowed at me, "Are you sure you’re okay?"

"It's not like I haven't been through this before, Hiro. And this time, at least, I expected it." It was true. From the minute Yuki told me he wanted me back, I'd been expecting it.

Of course, I hadn't been expecting him to try to run me over in the process. Oh well. It had been my choice to stand in front of his car, I guess.

That odd feeling tried to overtake me again. I shoved it aside.

“So what will you do?” Hiro asked.

I shrugged, “What will you do now that you and Ryu have split? What do any of us do? Go on the best we can.”

“Yeah, I suppose,” he said softly. “But Ryu and I weren’t like you and Yuki.”

“Sure you were,” I nodded. “Everybody’s relationship is fucked up.”

He smiled, “What I meant was that you and Yuki have a very intense relationship. You always seem to… I don’t know. I guess the word would be gravitate towards each other.”

I shrugged again, “Things change.”

“Oh, Shu, I hate seeing you like this,” he said with sincerity.

"It's only life, Hiro." Big words. I wondered if I really meant them.

He leaned over and gave me a hug, "If you need anything, Shu, you know where to reach me."

I nodded, "I'm okay, Hiro. For once in your life, don’t worry about me. Take care of yourself."

Somewhere inside of me, a battle raged. Something was screaming to get out. Was it sorrow or anger? Maybe it was fear. I squelched it.

The room was very quiet for a few minutes. Or maybe it was hours? I wasn't sure.

"Shuichi?"

"Hmm?" I said absently, not really sure who was speaking to me.

Kyo stood in front of me and gently took my hand, "Come on. I'll wash your hair."

That sounded good, "Okay."

I followed him into the wing that housed Tohma's private rooms.

"Should we be here?" I asked with trepidation.

"Sure," he smiled at me. "I already cleared it with the big boss. He's out right now, anyway. Said he was off to fill someone in on something. Very vague of him, I’d say."

"Tohma tends to be vague. Are you sure you didn't steal his keys to get in here?"

Kyo chuckled, "Nice to see your sense of humor is still intact."

I hoped that Tohma was speaking with Yuki. Yuki had been so upset.

So upset he had tried to kill me.

No, Yuki wouldn't do that.

Would he?

"Shuichi?" Kyo asked gently, "Are you okay?"

I nodded, "Yeah, sure. Why do you ask?"

He was watching me closely, "Because you started shaking."

"I did?" I didn't feel like I was shaking. Weird.

"Here," he led me into a large, luxurious shower room.

That Tohma, he really knows how to live. I wondered what the walls would say if they could talk. Probably some very interesting things, I mused.

I sat down on one of the benches and started pulling off my clothes.

"Uh, Shuichi?"

"Yeah?" I looked up into Kyo's wide, dilated eyes.

He cleared his throat, "You don't have to get completely undressed."

Shrugging I said, "Everything's all bloody. I should have brought some clothes up from my locker."

He smiled softly, keeping his eyes locked purposefully on mine as he handed me a warm, fluffy robe. "I think I can handle the clothes. You wait here, okay?"

"Okay."

I sat and waited, the fluffy robe across my lap. I was acting strange, I knew that, but it was as if my emotions had been shut off. I felt as though I were casually observing my life from the outside. I was thankful for my temporarily deadened state of being because, when I came out of it, I wasn't sure what I would be.

Kyo was back. He turned on the shower to let the water warm up. Then he knelt in front of me, "Shu, let's wash your hair, okay? Let me know if I hurt you, I'll try to stay away from the cut."

I smiled, "You worry too much. I'm tough, Kyo."

He touched my cheek and stared into my eyes, "Maybe you're not as tough as you think you are."

That thing inside of me was screaming to be set free and I felt my face contort into a sneer before I managed to get it back under control. "I thought you were going to wash my hair, not psychoanalyze me."

"There you are," he smiled in relief at me. "You were starting to scare me."

"Huh. You should be careful for what you wish for, Kyo."

He grinned at me as he unbuttoned and peeled off his shirt, "Ooh, that sounds like a challenge. When it comes to you, I wish for a lot of things."

I stared at his naked chest. His left nipple was pierced. The ring that adorned it was identical to mine. I reached out and touched it, "Kyo..."

"I know, I know," he said softly. "I did it right before I went back home. I wanted something to remind me of you. Hopelessly romantic of me, wouldn't you say?"

My throat was tight. Why couldn't it be Kyo that I...

Wait. Maybe it could be Kyo. After all, my boyfriend had just tried to run me down with his car. In relationship terms, I was certain that trying to kill your lover technically constituted a break-up.

The room was beginning to steam up from the shower and tiny beads of sweat formed on Kyo's face and chest. He looked amazingly tempting.

I looked closer. There was a long, jagged scar to the right and just below his navel, I reached out and touched the scar lightly, “What’s this?”

Grabbing my hand, he shook his head in warning, eyes filling with turbulent emotion, “Some other time I’ll tell you about it. But not today, okay?”

“Okay,” I nodded. That was strange, Kyo was usually so open about everything.

"Come on, Shu," he tugged on my hand, as he quickly changed the subject. "Let's wash your hair."

The warm water hit my scalp with gentle pressure and a slight sting. I heard Kyo's soft apology as he tried to maneuver the spray nozzle around the cut on my head. I watched as the water that soaked my hair dripped off of my head and hit the wet tiles. The droplets and small cascades were tinged with rusty, brown color of my blood.

Kyo turned off the water and poured some herbal smelling shampoo into his hand. "Tip your head down," he said quietly as he began rubbing his fingers through my hair, massaging my scalp and working up lather. It felt wonderful.

I began to relax, "Hmm, that feels good Kyo."

"Shu, don't coo at me while you are naked," he scolded softly. "Let's rinse now, okay?"

"Okay," I said, lazily.

The water rushed over my head again and the swirled mixture of water, blood, and shampoo hypnotized me as it went down the drain.

He shut the water off and handed me a towel. I held the towel but did not use it. "Kyo?"

"Yes, Shu?" He asked as he dried himself off.

I watched with interest as sinewy muscle rippled under his skin. "I have blood on my arms and legs, too. Aren't you going to wash that off as well?"

He froze. "Shu, I don't think I can do that and keep myself from molesting you," he said, his voice thick with desire.

Smiling at him I said, "Promise?"

"Maybe now isn't the best time for this, Shu."

Leaning forward, I licked that matching ring and the nub that housed it. Mmm, it was salty with sweat. I looked him in the eyes, "Don't you want to?"

"Oh, I want to, all right," I saw him give a hard swallow; his eyes fever bright with need.

“Well, then,” I challenged, nipping at his unadorned nipple, “what are you waiting for?”

He stared down at me for a moment before he reached down and unbuttoned his jeans and slid them off with his boxers.

Wow. It was my turn to swallow. I didn’t think anyone was as amazingly beautiful, or well endowed as Eir… I pushed that thought away.

“Come on,” he gave me predatory smile. “I’ll wash you now.”

He turned on the nozzle and patiently rinsed my entire body with the warm water, turning me and drenching every inch.

Grabbing a bath sponge and body wash, he started in on me. Turning me so that I faced away from him, he scrubbed my back and shoulders with slow, sensual strokes, eventually discarding the sponge and using his hands instead. He rubbed into my sore muscles, causing me to relax into his gentle, yet strong motions.

His hands were amazing. Musician’s hands, strong and dexterous.

Turning me around, he began working on my arms. Over my biceps and sensitive underarms, down my forearms, and in between each finger, giving every inch his undivided attention.

Like he did with everything.

He moved his hands to my chest and down my stomach, touching and teasing, leaving behind a distinctive trail of slick lather. Soft and sweet, but tantalizingly hot in his intensity.

Ignoring my whine of protest, he skipped over my genitals and moved lower, to concentrate on my legs and wounded knees. Slowly and carefully, he washed away the bloody streaks on my shins.

Moving back up my body, he rubbed his soap-covered hands over my cock and balls, making me groan and shiver with pleasure. Stroking me only a few times, he left me aching, moaning, and wanting. He abruptly turned my willing body and positioned me so that I was slightly bent over, my arms against a tile-covered wall to support my weight.

He ran his soap slicked fingers between the globes of my ass and touched my anus, giving me a moment to get ready for the intrusion. He slipped his index finger in and I crumpled against the wall, moaning. After a moment or two, he slid a second finger in and swirled the two together and then apart, touching everything inside but only fleetingly.

I whimpered with the burning need for him to touch that spot.

Suddenly, he pulled his fingers from me, “Time to rinse.”

Turning around, I glared at him. “You’re a sadist, Kyo.”

As he turned the water on again, he smiled at me, “Yeah? And I’m just starting. Although, I can’t promise you my best this time. After all, control is harder to maintain when you finally get what you want. Come on, raise your arms so I can get all that tantalizing soap off of you.”

He rinsed off my front and then moved my pliant body back to the position I’d been in earlier, against the wall. After rinsing off my back and legs, he took both of my hands and placed them on either side of my ass. Placing his hands over my own, he spread my cheeks, “Now, hold that pose.” Kyo rinsed the sensitive area of my anus, holding the nozzle directly at my entrance, with thorough care.

I writhed under his close scrutiny. It was embarrassing, but totally hot.

After shutting off the water, he handed me a towel. His eyes lingered on my body before he took a towel for himself and quickly dried off. I looked at him with confusion. Was that it? I looked at his erection. No, I don’t think so.

Kicking my feet out from under me in a rapid and surprising move, Kyo hefted me over his shoulder and carried me down the hall.

Tohma’s private rooms also included a very elaborate bedroom. It was probably rigged with video cameras, the sick bastard. Good. Maybe he could show Eiri what I was about to do. Or call him over to come see the show in person.

Fine with me. Hell, maybe I could get a copy.

Laying me on the bed, and hovering over me, Kyo wasted no time as he kissed me soundly, pushing his tongue into my open mouth, tasting me. His hands slid over my partially wet skin and he touched my nipple ring, making me moan.

He moved lower and nipped and sucked at my neck.

“Harder, Kyo,” I whined. “Bite me harder!”

His teeth did my bidding and I moaned and arched into his body, pressing my erection against his hip.

Mouth sliding lower, he licked and bit my un-pierced nipple as his hands danced across my glistening cock.

Desire exploded within me. It was as if all the hurt and all the pain was suddenly channeled into wanting a good, hard fuck. I wanted to feel something – anything – other than pain.

“Kyo,” I whimpered, “please. Please fuck me, now!”

He answered by rolling me onto my stomach and nipping at my back. Moving down my body, he paused at my ass, raising my hips and slipping a pillow beneath me. The silken pillow was almost painful to me as my erection pressed into it. I was moaning with need.

His lips and teeth teased downwards as his hands spread my cheeks. He wasn’t going to…

“Ahhh, Kyo!” I screamed as the tip of his tongue touched my hole. That explained why he had taken so much time and care washing me…

I felt the amazingly strong muscle delve deeper into me. I had never experienced this before and it was an unbelievable turn on, it was so kinky. His hand placed gentle pressure on my hip before sliding towards my aching hard on. I pushed my body up, away from the bed and pillow, so his hand could encircle and pump my cock.

Three strokes were all it took before I felt my toes begin to curl. I closed my eyes, preparing for the onslaught of colors and patterns that always accompanied my orgasms.

Instead, I saw flashes of Eiri.

I screamed with my release, but it was a scream of anger.

Quaking with the aftershocks, I pushed Kyo off of me and onto his back. I straddled him, biting and licking, mewling with anger and frustration of having images of Eiri intrude. I reached for the lube and quickly slicked Kyo’s hard shaft. He bucked at me with the touch, wanting more.

“Shu…” he moaned, his voice thick with desire.

I wanted him inside me, something I hadn’t willingly let anyone else do to me, not ever. No one, other than Eiri, had I given this to.

Now, I would give myself to Kyo to cleanse myself of Eiri.

Jamming him inside me, I screamed again. I really hadn’t been totally prepared for the size of his cock, but the pain felt good in a way. It helped me realize that I was still alive.

I watched Kyo’s eyes roll back in his head as he clutched my hips, “Oh gods… so tight,” he hissed.

After a moment of letting myself adjust to his girth, I began to move, sliding up and down that wonderfully large, hard shaft, repositioning myself to get to that spot, moaning and crying Kyo’s name. I felt the heat radiate throughout my body once again.

Kyo flipped me onto my back, grabbed my thighs, and pushed into me. His normally bright eyes were dark with lust as he shoved into me with barely contained frenzy. Panting at me he said, “I’m not going to last long, Shu. I’ve wanted this too long.”

He twisted my hips enough that he brushed my prostate and I thrust back at him with a moan. Taking note, he aimed for the same spot repeatedly. I was moaning nonstop now, calling his name as he reached between us and stroked my erection.

And when I came, with the tingling of my scalp and the shaking of my legs, I saw Eiri’s golden eyes once again.

Fuck.

Kyo hammered into me a few more times and then spilled into me, crying out my name.

He rolled off of me and lay next to me, carefully petting my hair as his breathing slowed. “Shu,” he said as he looked at me with adoration and kissed me gently, “I love you.”

Love. What a crock of shit.

I got up.

“Shu?” Kyo sat up and watched me leave the room. “Where are you going?”

I walked back into the shower room and I was already half dressed by the time Kyo made it in.

“What are you doing?” he said with concern.

“I need to borrow your car,” I said as I pulled his keys from the pocket of his jeans.

“Why? Where are you going?” He was grabbing for his own clothes now.

“To see Eiri,” I said as I finished dressing.

“What?!” He moved to block my path, eyes filled with hurt, “Why, Shu?”

“Get out of the way, Kyo,” I hissed. “I have something to say to him.”

He grabbed my arm, “Then I’ll go with you.”

I shook his hand off, “No. I need to do this alone.”

“NO!” he shouted at me as he grabbed my arm again.

He wasn’t prepared for the right cross I hit him with. He never even suspected I would hit him.

I watched, with an unidentifiable emotion, as he slid to the floor.

“Sorry, Kyo,” I whispered to his unconscious form, throwing the big, fluffy robe over him. “I promise I won’t hurt your car.”



As I neared the apartment, I took stock of what had just happened. I was pretty sure that I had just used Kyo.

Wasn’t that what I had done? I was confused by it. I thought I wanted Kyo. Didn’t I?

Kyo was the only man I’d let have me other than Eiri.

But at the same time, this was what I’d wanted when I faced Eiri again. I wanted Kyo’s smell on me and I hoped Eiri could catch a whiff of it when I saw him. Regardless, I would make him aware of the taint on my body, of the foreign cum still stored in my ass, and I would watch that knowledge eat at him.

I entered the apartment building in a full-on rage. I really wanted to kill that bastard this time. Try to run me down, would he?

Putting the key in the lock for the final time, I threw the door open. I was prepared for a lot of things, but finding a woman, naked but for Eiri’s robe and drinking coffee out of my mug, had not been at the top of the list. I thought he would have at least waited until the sun set.

“Hi,” she smiled at me.

Ah, I recognized her. I wondered if Eiri had been fucking her all along. Probably.

“Where’s Yuki?” I asked, trying to keep some of the venom out of my voice.

She sipped her coffee, “He’s in the shower.”

“Of course,” I answered. “Could you do me a favor?”

“Sure.”

I handed her Eiri’s key, “Please tell him that he’s right. We don’t need to talk again.”

“Is that all?” She smiled again.

I smiled back, “Yes. I really don’t need to do Yokohama all over again.”

“I’m sorry?” she asked.

“Never mind,” I answered. “I’ll be going now. Thank you.”

I closed the door. Huh. What do you know? He really is a man-whore.

Entering my apartment, I grabbed a few essential items and fed Yuki before leaving again. I made a couple of phone calls and left Kyo’s keys on the counter with a note. I was sure someone would be here soon looking for me, so at least Kyo would be able to have his car and keys back.

I took the stairs, two at a time, to the garage basement and opened my storage unit. It wasn’t a big storage area and it was, for the most part, empty. There were just few things on the shelves lining the wall. A fabric-covered form took up the majority of the space.

I pulled off the canvas cover and there it was, my Ducati Monster SR4. An absolutely beautiful, frighteningly fast machine. And no one in the world knew I had it.

Bringing it out of the storage room, I realized again how striking the bike was. I admired it for a moment before starting it up. As usual, it did not fail me and purred, as if it was excited to be on the road. It had been way too long.

I tossed my helmet to the side and threw my cell phone on the ground. On my way out, I grabbed a baseball bat from one of the shelves. As I left the garage, I drove over the phone, picking up and pocketing a few of largest of the pieces afterwards.

Moving slowly through parking lot, I stopped in front of Yuki’s car. I pulled Yuki’s keys from my pocket - the keys I had stolen so easily from his apartment – and turned off the car alarm from the fob on the key ring.

I twirled the key ring in my hand. Hmm, a sudden, brilliant thought hit me. Holding the biggest key as if it were a pencil, I pressed it against the car and carved through the many layers of beautiful paint, down to the bare metal, spelling out “MAN-WHORE” several times on the hood, trunk and side panels. Stepping back I took a few seconds to admire my work. Very nice.

Then I armed myself with the baseball bat and bashed through his windshield. Feeling somewhat better, I continued my rampage, busting out all of the windows and smashing out the headlights and taillights. Jumping on the car itself, my final violation to it was to jam the bat through the moon-roof. It imploded with a satisfying burst of sound. Through the hole I made, I tossed in the remains of phone and the keys, so there would be no question as to who had done it. Then I drove off into the night.


About an hour later, I met up with them. I parked the bike and shook my hair into place as two or three of them came to meet me. One was Kai. He was s big, burly, ex-roadie that had seen the rock and roll lifestyle up close and personal. He had a soft spot for me and let me hang out with the gang whenever I felt like walking on the wild side of life.

He slapped me on the back and handed me a bottle of Jack Daniels, “Life too much for you again, pretty boy?” he asked in his gruff, raspy voice.

I grinned at him, took a deep chug of the whiskey, and then handed it back, “Yeah. It fucking sucks.”

He drank and smiled back, “Well then, you are welcome to party with us. For a time.”

“I thank you, for your hospitality.”

It was a ritual for us, this greeting.

“Shuichi-kun!” An attractive young man threw himself at me, “You’re back!”

I hugged him and bit his earlobe, “Yes, I am.”

“Are you staying the night?” he panted at me, high as a kite.

“Only if you have something for me,” I whispered to him.

He grinned and scampered off to get me tonight’s drug of choice.

Kai was watching me as he shook his head, “Only one thing gives people that sorrowful look you carry.”

“Really? And what’s that?”

“Broken heart. You’re packing the mother of them all.” He said quietly.

Shrugging I said, “Not much you can do about it, right?”

He patted me on the back and handed back the bottle to me, “Not a fucking thing. Just try to forget for a while.”

The young man – I think his name was Hikaru – rushed back and gave me some pills. I grabbed the bottle Kai offered me again and chased down the pills with the whiskey.

After swallowing, I smiled at Kai, “That’s why I’m here, my friend. So I can forget for a while.”

He nodded, “Understood. We’ll watch your back for you in the meantime.”


TBC


Lyrics for Push Me Shove Me by Erasure