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Oh my Saber Urusei Onegai Azumanga Saga Z 1/2!	By : OverMaster Category: -Misc Anime > Crossovers Views: 3483 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Oh my Goddess, Evangelion, Tenchi Muyo, Negima, Ranma or Haganai, nor the characters from them. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 6
- 7
- 8
IT RETURNS! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!
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Disclaimer: I do not own the anime/manga mentioned here, nor the characters from them. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. Because, come on, if I had a penny for each stupid thing I write, I'd be richer than Steven Spielberg.

All characters featured here are the sole property of their respective creators, not mine, and I swear I'm not making any money or any other profit out of this fan work of fiction. Also, never trust Akamatsu Ken with the end for a manga again. Why, Negima, why?!

Any similarity with any real events, and living or dead persons, events and institutions, out of maybe harmless parody purposes, is nothing but a spectacularyficly coincidence.

No one under the age of 18 should be reading this, or your tender, underage innocent eyes will melt in your face upon reading these horrible lines. And then the rest of your face will follow suit, Raiders of the Lost Ark-style. Is that understood? Okay? Fine.
Yes, I know this chapter's contents won't match what was promised in the last chapters's preview. What could I do? Just be thankful (or not) I could find the will to continue this at all after so long! Also, thank (or blame) Darkenning and Shadow Crystal Mage for giving me the support and inspiration to keep this story going.
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CHAPTER SEVEN: NO WONDER I CAN'T MAKE ANY FRIENDS.
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No wonder he couldn't make any friends.

She ran a hand over his naturally blond hair, which reminded her so much of their mother's. "Kodaka..." she rasped throatily, bucking under him as her older brother kept pumping into her.

"Ngh. Chisame," he complied, tightening his eyes shut while trying to hold his climax back. Their naked bodies kept on slapping against each other, making small rythmic sounds, the music of mating. The bed under them (Chisame's bed) whined and creaked softly in unison with those sounds.

Hasegawa Chisame sighed as her hands went down to squeeze her brother's buttocks tightly. "Now," she said, tossing her head aside, beautiful light brown hair sweeping all over her Hello Kitty pillow. One of those embarassing cutesy things she kept around out of old habits. With a jerky nod, Hasegawa Kodaka pumped in deep for the last time of the night and sprayed semen inside of her, once, twice, thrice, until it was over and he rested on top of her, clinging to her flesh, her hands still caressing his backside.

"You should go already," she said after a silence that was longer than a lifetime. "Classes start tomorrow, so Sora should be going to wake you up..."

"Just a few moments more, please," he didn't let her go.

"Hrrrm. Okay," his sister finally relented.

No wonder they couldn't make any friends.

Keep telling yourself it's because of the blond hair, Kodaka-kun. That's it, blame your mother...

Two hours later, as he pulled his pants back up, both turned away from each other, he said, "We can't keep doing this forever, you know."

"Funny. You were the one who didn't want to let it go earlier," Chisame commented dryly, still nude and lying on her side. "And why can't we, anyway? I don't want ever having children. You know I hate brats. You?"

"Well, I guess not. But still..."

"We can move wherever no one knows us, which is fine because not like we care about anyone around here," Chisame mused, just as dry as before. "Everyone knows I'll become an old maid anyway, so it's not like I need ever marrying. You?"

"Huh, well, it's not like I really care, but... Two siblings living together well past... some age, you know. If Sora ever learns..."

"Whatever happens behind closed doors, stays behind closed doors," Chisame shrugged. "And it's Sora we're talking about. She won't get a clue if it's jackhammered on her face. Kobato lives in her own world... and who cares a fuck about what Dad thinks? You?"

"No," he sighed. "Certainly not me."

She turned around to give him a cool look. "You aren't going along because of pity, are you? I don't want your pity, I want your support. Just like I give you mine."

He half smiled and caressed her cheek with a hand. "You aren't the pitiable one in this house, Chisame."

She looked past his shoulder and at the closet where she kept her Chiu costumes, and at her computer, her laptop, and all of her photo equipment. "Sure. Whatever you say."

---

"Is it good?" Hasegawa Sora asked nervously, at the head of the table, as her three younger siblings stared at their plates of food.

"It depends on what it is supposed to be," Chisame poked at her meal with her chopsticks. It was slimy, and dripped all over the plate. But, it had a funny smell too.

Next to her, the petite and golden-blond Kobato pouted, puffing her cheeks up, mismatched eyes sparkling with intensity. "What an insult! For these lowly plates to be offered to Evangeline Anasthasia Katherine Mc Dowell, Queen of the Night, Mistress of Puppets, the greatest vampire of the era! I should have you hanged, Elise!" she angrily pointed at Sora. Then her pointer finger swept over to Kodaka. "You shall cook next time, Alphonse! So commands your Master!"

"Actually, tomorrow is Chisame's turn," Kodaka readied himself before taking a bite. His tongue caught fire, but he still forced himself to say, "You've been improving lately, Nee-san."

"Really?" Sora looked hopeful, pushing her slipping glasses up her freckled face.

"Yeah. My stomach doesn't hurt after the first two bites this time," Chisame said between reluctant munches.

Kobato laughed haughtily, a hand over the golden cross hanging from her neck. "Oh ho ho! You are amusing at times, Christine! Why can't you be more like her, Elise?"

"Really, Kobato, cut it out already..." Kodaka said.

"Stop calling your mistress by such frivolous names only fitting commoners!" the youngest of the siblings shouted.

Kodaka reached over the table and softly rapped his knuckles on her head. "Cut it out, or it's time for the revolution," he blandly warned.

Kobato cringed like a petulant child and moved closer to Chisame. "Christine! Remind Alphonse of his place!"

His place? Preferably licking between my legs, but there'll be enough time for that tonight... Chisame thought.

All in all, yet another typical morning at the Hasegawa household. --- As expected, and just like last year, and the year before, everyone in Kodaka's class avoided him like the plague that first morning of classes.

It was so fucking unfair. Not only Sora and Chisame had somehow dodged the bullet of inheriting the blond hair, but he doubted anyone ever gave Kobato any crap because of hers. Because of her being a delusional little nut, yeah, but sure as hell her good foreign looks and golden hair never were an issue for her. Why the fucking double standards? If everyone thought he was a bleached delinquent, then where was his damn posse of fellow delinquents? Like a real bully would always hang alone. No, unlike him, even bullies had friends, or at least fellow bullies they hung around with. At times, at his worst moments of depression, Kodaka had considered actually becoming a thug, asking that Ryuuji guy from the class next door to join him.

The Ryuuji guy had looked at him with that scary face of thug of his and said, with that thuggish voice of his, "I'm not a thug".

Yeah, right. Like someone who looked like a thug so much, and always was alone because no one wanted to associate themselves with him, could be anything but a thug. Everyone had him pegged as such! Who the hell was he fooling?

Even thugs didn't want to be friends with Kodaka, did they?

After the maddeningly inane and bizarre day of lessons from Itoshiki-sensei, where they had been told about their 'worth' or lack thereof (which hadn't done wonders for Kodaka's mood either), the boy wandered away from the classroom with a perfectly neutral expression.

Once, Kobato had sneered at him and asked "If it bothers you so much, why don't you dye your hair dark and fit in with those filthy plebeians?"

But even at his most depressed, even when he would consider hanging with actual delinquents like the Ryuuji thug, Kodaka would never change his hair. It was the only thing reminding him of his mother.

And Chisame and even Sora would feed him his own balls if he ever did that. They were quite fond of anything that reminded them of Mom, as well. Worst of it all, Chisame wouldn't ever give him nookie again then.

Kodaka was a boy with needs beyond the whole friends thing.

Almost reaching the front door, Kodaka noticed he had left his calculator at the classroom. With an annoyed groan, he turned back and quickly walked all the way for the classroom, hoping no one, like that creepy thug next door, had stolen it. That whole school was full of wackos and delinquents, in that Chisame was right...

As soon as he opened the classroom's door, he saw a girl with her back turned on him, advacing towards a corner, with her shirt off and hanging from a seat. He recognized her as that weird arrogant girl who sat all the way at the back, Mizora or Yuzuha or something. She had nice fair skin, and long and silky black hair. HJer face was delicate and beautiful like a doll's, but also cold and scornful all day long. Now, however, from what he could see of her features from his angle, she had a predatory smile on instead, as her hands seemed to reach for something he couldn't quite see at all.

"Come on, Sayo-chan..." she purred huskily. "Your mouth may say 'No', but your body says 'Yes'... What? No, of course it's a body, even if it's an air one. You're wet between the legs, aren't you? Yes, I know you don't have legs! That isn't the point... What? Someone where?"

The girl looked back over her shoulder and saw Kodaka standing at the doorstep with a clueless expression on. After a moment of gasping panic, the girl reached for her shirt and pressed it against her bra-covered chest, growling "Don't you know anything about respecting others' intimacy?-! You ruined Sayo-chan's mood!"

Kodaka blinked, looking in all directions as if hoping to see someone, anyone. "... Who is Sayo-chan?"

"Why do you care?" the girl growled once more. "Are you her friend or something?"

"I can't be friends to someone I don't even know!"

"Well, duh," she said, pulling the shirt back on. "What a stupidly obvious thing to say. Wait, you're the dumb thug, aren't you? Shouldn't you be bullying kouhais with your friend the thug next door?"

"He isn't my friend!"

"Ah, yes, I forgot. You don't have any friends, do you?" the girl sneered. "Pathetic. Even Sayo-chan has more friends than you. What? Of course you do, you have me. Ah? That isn't what you meant? What do you mean, I'm insulting you? How the hell am I insulting you? All I'm saying is you have me, and you're just made of air!"

Kodaka asked it, although his mind was just yelling t him to run away. "Who are you talking to?"

"Sayo-chan. Haven't you been paying any attention?"

"Who is Sayo-chan?"

"Haven't you just asked that moments before? You deaf or dumb? Sayo-chan is my friend..." Then she seemed to realize how insane and stupid she was sounding as she finished lamely, "... My air friend."

"... Huh." Kodaka took a wary step back before asking, "Do you make a habit out of molesting your... ah, air friends?"

"Of course I don't! Do you think I'm a mad woman, seeing air friends everywhere? Sayo-chan is the only air friend I have!"

"The only friend you have, period?" he guessed.

"Like you're much better, bleached thug!"

"It's not Bleach!" he protested, before wondering something and asking, "Say... can you see ghosts? It's that... isn't it?"

Now she would answer 'Yes', and he'd be relieved, because she'd still be a delusional mad woman, just a less--

"Ghosts? Don't be ridiculous!" she snapped. "Ghosts don't exist. Sayo-chan doesn't remember ever living as a human or dying, so she can't be a ghost. The only logical alternative, then, it's she's an air person."

"An air person," he repeated as blandly as humanly possible.

"Yeah, what's so weird about that? You wouldn't look at me with those eyes if I had been playing an air guitar, right? Then don't act surprised just because I'm talking to an air friend!"

"Imaginary friend, you mean."

She huffed. "Does it matter? If she's real or not, as long as I can see and talk to her, it's the same for me. Just as it's the same for you, since you can't see or hear her."

"That... What kind of skewed logic is that?" he asked. "So, anyway," the girl asked Kodaka, as hostile as before, "Why did you come back here to begin with?"

Kodaka was reminded of the reason that had slipped his mind for the last few minutes. "Ah, yeah. I forgot my calculator, so I came back for it..."

The girl, frowning, walked to Kodaka's desk, reached under it, pulled his calculator out, and tossed it into his hands. "Nice catch. Especially since I wasn't aiming there. So, how about leaving already?"

"Uh, sure thing," he said, vaguely noticing she had headed straight to his desk without any doubt on which it was, or where he kept his things. "Thanks. I guess. Then, have care on your way back, right?"

"Who are you, my mother? Shoo, shoo. I don't need anyone to walk me along, and I sure can take care of any bullies who get in my way."

"I don't doubt it," he replied. "It's just, most guys in the kendo club are creeps, and they like staying until late..."

"The kendo club? Bitch please, those idiots know better than to mess with me. They are nothing but sissies who flaunt their membership and overcompensate with those stupid wooden swords. Any idiot can belong to a club, but the really strong stand alone. Can't they practice by themselves? Did Miyamoto Musashi have a trail of parasites hanging behind him as he traveled the land? No! If you ask me, those nancy boys only gang together because they like showering together in that pigpen they have for a clubhouse..."

"I think that's a Dojo, not a clubhouse..."

"Placing fancy names on lame things doesn't make them any less lame!" the girl argued. "Kodaka, do you belong to any clubs?"

"Huh? Well... no."

"See? Even you know clubs are a waste of time for people who is so socially impaired they need to socialize with other losers to belong somewhere! It's just plain pathetic! Don't you think?"

"Uh, well, if you say so. Now, if you excuse me, I have to lea--"

"What, scared of the big bad kendo club?" she snorted. "Relax, I'll protect your butt if they come after you! Don't leave me hanging here, talking with air and an air friend! Be a man and listen politely! Where's politeness nowadays?"

"Certainly not here," he said.

"Damn right! And that's because all the losers in this school system are only interested on hanging around in herds like animals!"

"Well," he said, "It's not like belonging to a club has to be a bad idea. As long as it's with people you can call friends, I suppose it's not bad, it's just..."

She gave him a very odd look. "Do you think so?"

"I don't know," he shrugged. "Maybe. I can't know for sure since I've never been in one, but... that's the way it's supposed to be, isn't it? It's simply some people can fit in a club, and some of us can't."

"Ridiculous," the girl waved at him. "Everyone's got a place where they can fit. It's only some places are smaller, for less people to fit in."

"Ahhhh... Right. That's very... wise. Then, sorry but I've got to be going, ah..."

She looked at his face for some moments, as if waiting for something, before dryly saying, "Mikazuki Yozora."

"Right, that's it. Sorry, Yozora...san. Well, see you tomorrow," he nodded for a moment before turning around and sharply leaving.

Yozora stood there for a few moments, quiet and mute, until she said, "No, I wouldn't call him that. I'd call him an idiot!"

---

"I'm home!" Kodaka called out as he walked into the Hasegawa house. A nervous Sora went out to greet him. "Oh, hey, Nee-san. Sorry I'm late, but... I lost my calculator..."

His older sister bit her lower lip and said, "Kodaka-kun, do you remember Mom had a cousin at Wales who disappeared without a trace around ten years ago?"

"Huh? What does that have to-- Yeah, yeah, I think I remember Dad once told us about that. What about him? Have they found him?"

Sora sighed, pushing her glasses back up. "Not exactly. But this morning, you'll see, Chisame-chan was introduced to her new teacher for this term..."

"And?"

Sora looked at his eyes. "He's that man's son."

"Ah?"

"His ten year old son," Sora added.

"Whuh?"

"And since we are his only living family at Japan... It looks like he'll have to stay with us for the time being."

"What."

Then a loud sneeze that sounded like an explosion more than anything else came from the inside of the house. Immediately followed by shrill cries from Chisame and Kobato, and an unknown small voice desperately yelling "AH! I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY! I'M SO SORRY!"

Kodaka blinked, kept on looking at Sora's face for a few more moments, and finally said, "Okay, so I cook one extra plate for today's dinner, right?"
---
Night Terrors.

"Why should he sleep in my bedroom?" a not highly thrilled at all Kodaka asked.

"... Because there are no free bedrooms in the house, and the rest of us are, you know, girls?" Chisame grunted, arms folded. "What, are you afraid he'll wet your bed?"

"I stopped doing that three years ago!" the small boy with the smaller glasses, so small Kodaka couldn't even begin guessing how they stayed on his face, blurted out., with his hands on his knees.

"Only three years ago? Kukukuku!" Kobato laughed theatrically. "Pitiful mortal! I stopped wetting mine four centuries ago!"

"Ehhhh? For real?-!" Negi blinked.

"It was four years ago, and since you're thirteen and he's ten, you don't have any advantage on him!" Kodaka snapped.

Kobato slapped him on a knee with her patched plush bunny.

Negi looked down. "I can sleep on the couch, or on the floor, if I'm so much of a bother..."

"Well, problem solved, then!" Chisame said.

"Chisame!" Sora made the best half-hissing sound she could.

Kodaka sighed. "Fine. He sleeps with me, then. Until we find a better alternative, at least..."

---

That night, Kodaka woke up around 4:00 A.M., with some serious morning wood, which was uncomfortable as hell in all its implications when you had been sleeping in the same bed as a boy genius. Except because said boy genius wasn't there anymore. Huh. Well, that made it better, Kodaka guessed. Now he could discreetly slip over to Chisame's bedroom, have a quickie, and go back before morning. Negi surely was in the toilet, judging from the open door of the room, not to mention the blanket on the floor a kid would surely drop during a potty emergency.

Scratching himself on a side, Kodaka made his way over to Chisame's room. Odd, her door was open to, and...

Negi was asleep at her side, hugging her body.

Kodaka made a single strangled sound. "Gah."

Chisame opened her eyes and looked over at him. She smiled faintly. "Oh, Kodaka. You naughty boy, you came for your--"

Then she noticed the short arms around her, and the individual those arms were attached to.

A long and high pitched scream shook the Hasegawa household.

---

"Well, one thing's for sure," Kodaka declared the next morning. "He can't stay in my bed. He wets it."

Negi sniffled. "Sorry. I'm so used to sleep with my sister, I need her or a fitting replacement at my side, or I'll have nightmares..."

Sora was as deeply moved as her siblings were disgusted. "Oh, you poor thing...!"

And that was how Negi ended up sleeping in Sora's bed.
---
NEXT: Urd. Hopefully.
- 6
- 7
- 8
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Oh my Saber Urusei Onegai Azumanga Saga Z 1/2!