A Death Note Halloween

Raito, Ryuuzaki, and Ryuk (Misa, Rem, task force, etc)©Death Note
Oscar Levant quotes©Oscar Levant
Lost Souls reference, quote about come and blood, and chars (Steve, Ghost, Zillah, and Nothing)© Poppy Z. Brite
Article About Boston© http://shrunklink.com/auhe
Ryuuzaki's Trick-or-Treat Route © http://shrunklink.com/auhd (though I'm not sure if it's businesses or houses there)

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The plan started, of course, with money. With other objects of desire, people could sometimes have reasons for not wanting or trusting the motives behind them. Candy could be poisoned, or a person could be diabetic. A movie could often be of a genre that a person would not wish to view. Some people had slow thumbs and did not like video games, or others could be seizure prone. A trap, an absolutely perfect trap, needed something that no reasonable person could turn down. This plan started with money, but not just any money. It opened with a hundred dollar bill and followed quickly with a doorbell ditch.

The crotchety old man opened his door to yell at some costumed ruffians, but found no one there. He stepped out onto his unwelcome mat, which actually stated “GO AWAY” in large red letters, to try and spot who had rung his doorbell. Just as he was about to yell, “Blasted kids!”, he stepped on something paper-like. Lifting his foot to see what it was, he gasped to find this large bill on his doorstep. He looked left and then right. There was no one around. The old man snickered and bent down to retrieve his prize. This of course was the trigger. Raito and Ryuuzaki peered cautiously down from the branches of a large tree at the far edge of this man’s yard, both men wore large grins and shifted excitedly at what was about to happen. Ryuk himself was much closer to the deck, as he had no reason to hide. The death god was enjoying himself far more than he had in a very long time, even without apples. The old man’s fingers wrapped around the green paper, and the plan, which had cost L far more than one hundred dollars, began.

Beneath the money lay a wireless sensor no bigger in area than a pencil’s eraser and with no more width than that of a mechanical pencil lead. As soon as this sensor realized that there was nothing on top of it, it sent out its little silent bips of warning to this strange metal stake. This second contraption had a long flat base and just one skinny stake that rose into the air, however, at this new information, it folded instantly down, releasing whatever it had been holding in place. There were actually two things that had been contained by this mechanism. One was a very large and resilient rubber band that had been holding several water balloons. Having been released, it shot said balloons straight across the yard. L, of course, had planned the man’s reaction after having seen these projectiles. Though the old-timer tried with all his might to dodge, not a single balloon missed him. He looked miserably down at the wet goo that drenched him. It seemed to be a sort of purple neon paint. Sadly he did not know of the second thing the contraption held.

Raito and Ryuuzaki had fashioned a sort of magnifying reflector out of nothing but aluminum foil and note cards. They had made it work sort of like a window’s blinds. As the string sprang up from the mechanism, the aluminum blinds went down. This action happened to refocus the nearest streetlight straight at the purple man’s door. The old man realized with dismay that the purple paint glimmered spectacularly in the new lighting. Of course this wasn’t enough for the geniuses. L had created a wonderful balloon-like bag to contain super glue without being stuck to it. Raito had placed three of these bags just above the door hinges. When the old man had opened the door, they had exploded. As expected, he had shut the door behind him when he went to look for hooligans; this action had given the glue just enough time to harden. Try as he may to escape into the safety of his house, the man could not force the door to open.

Raito and L looked at each other knowingly; the man just had not been humiliated enough. True humiliation occurs when someone is around to witness it. The detective pulled a brilliant device from his costume. He had received this from Watari a long time ago, and it was a wonderful gadget for creating a diversion for a swift escape. It was also brilliant for this scenario. Ryuuzaki pressed his thumb down on the button, and instantly every car alarm on the entire block went off. People raced out of their houses to see what the problem was, but L had already turned the alarms off. The two intelligent men had rewired the electricity so that only the one streetlight was working. So as all the people looked about to decipher why all the alarms had started and stopped so quickly, their attention was drawn to this single light in the dark that pointed almost insistently in one direction. At the other end of this light was one very disconcerted, purple glowing, old man who was trying with all the strength he possessed to escape into his house.

The nearby costumed children, who had just been frightened by the lights going out a few minutes ago, had all migrated to the only light left. They were more than ready to point and laugh at the angry man’s discomfort; the same man who had cussed and threatened to shoot them. Several of the man’s neighbors had also come to see what all this commotion was about. Snickers hidden poorly behind their hands, they asked him what had happened. Muttering incoherently with random words of ruffians and stupid kids thrown in, he finally conveyed his inability to return to his house. Several younger men tried in vain to open the door. Finally one kind lady invited him to come to her house and take a shower, mentioning that he could call the police about his door from her phone. Not actually thanking her, he grumbled the whole way to her house. Slowly the crowd dispersed.

The Yagami boy and famous detective had been laughing uproariously from the tree for several minutes. There was no fear of being caught from all the cacophony of the horde of onlookers. Ryuk himself was crying from laughing so harshly. Finally catching their breath, they began to retrieve L’s tools, so as not to be caught by the police. It seemed the only items Ryuuzaki had actually lost were the glue containing bags and the hundred dollar bill that, even as he walked to his neighbor’s house, the old man clutched for dear life in his fist. Raito shimmied up higher in the tree to take the aluminum foil down from the streetlight, as the older man rescued his sensor from the porch. The glue was untraceable, so L began picking up his rubber band and slingshot type machine.

“How,” the teen wondered, as he rewired the streetlights, “did you fit all this in your costume?!”

“All what?” Ryuuzaki wondered, “I had only empty balloons, three tiny bags of super glue, a miniscule sensor, the flat-folding metal stake, note cards, aluminum foil, some string, the remote, and this lovely little bottle of chemical that I have created.”

“What about the paint?”

“This chemical, when mixed with large amounts of dirt, forms that lovely paint-like slime,” L held up the remains of the chemical in a tiny glass bottle.

“Is that going to hurt him?!” Raito gasped.

“Of course not. I do not hurt people. Though it will not wash off and will remain on his skin for about a week,” the detective snickered.

“You may be brilliant, but you’re equally insane, Ryuuzaki,” the teen shook his head, jumping down from the tree.

“Oscar Levant once said, ‘There is a thin line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.’”

“He is also the one who said ‘Roses are red, violets are blue, I am schizophrenic, and so am I.’ Hmmm. Now what does that say about your choice to quote him?”

“That I am a fan of those thought eccentric by society.” L and Raito had begun walking down the street swiftly, to escape before the police showed up. Their costumes involved gloves, and their footprints would be lost amongst the neighbors’. This little trick of theirs was completely untraceable.

“Or that you are one of those thought eccentric by society,” Raito corrected, handing the aluminum foil magnifier back to the detective.

Ryuk swiftly floated after them, still having fits of laughter over the purple old man.

“If you say so. Now relinquish your candy to me.”

“No way! This is mine.”

“You do not eat candy, Yagami~kun… or have you forgotten?”

“Doesn’t matter. I’m still not giving it to you.”

“You did promise me anything I wanted in the way of Halloween.”

“Did I? I do not remember using those exact words.”

“It was similar enough.”

“I’m similar to you. Does that make me L?”

Ryuuzaki’s palm smacked the younger man in the back of the head, “Do not use that name in public.”

The Yagami boy rubbed the back of his head, yelling, “There’s no one else out here!!”

Ryuk chuckled mischievously, “I’m here.”

“You don’t count!” Raito growled, before wincing at the realization of his second mistake.

“Who does not count, Raito~kun?”

“No one! Nothing! Just forget it!”

“Yagami~kun is acting strangely again, possibly because of the presence a death god. This is the second time this evening that he has behaved in such a manner. 25%.”

“The only shinigami around here is you! I don’t count, because this sham of a costume you designed looks nothing like a shinigami!”

“So you are admitting you have a greater knowledge of death gods than myself?”

“No! I didn’t mean that! Just… just shut up!”

“What a well thought out repartee.”

The teenager decided that his safest bet was to just cross his arms and say nothing. Ryuk, however, continued saying every annoying thing he could think of at the first Kira, just to try and get him to slip up again. Raito wanted nothing more than to hiss that if he were actually caught, all of Ryuk’s fun would be over.

Ryuuzaki had been quiet for a time, but suddenly he held out his hand again, “About that candy, Raito~kun…”