Simple Misperceptions

To Deny Eternity

Something caught Raptor’s attention. Reactivating her networks she scanned the inside of the hangar. Nothing seemed out of place, but there was just something… Almost a human sense of impending danger filled her meta. Carefully, she slid out from under Prime’s arm and stood up. Muffling her steps, so as not to wake the red mech, she made her way towards the door and slid out.

The Northern Lights danced above her, their tendrils of color reflected from the icy surface of the ground. Scanning around her with all of her available sensors, Raptor found nothing out of the ordinary. But yet, deep inside, she knew something was just not right. The unsettling sensation that someone was watching.. That danger could possibly be lurking. Instinctively she armed the missiles within her belly bays, her door opening to expose her hidden laser canon. She continued to scan warily around her, just knowing that something wasn’t quite right.

“You sense another Soul Flyer, Raptor.” The deep, familiar voice of the Transformers’ Angel of Death – filled her audios.

A wave of turmoil filled her cores at the sound of that familiar voice. A voice she hadn’t heard since he’d thrown her out of the afterlife, informing her she didn’t belong.. She couldn’t die.. That old emotion of despair threatened to come over her, but she fought it down. Had she not decided long ago to accept her fate? Somehow to find happiness in the brief lives of those around her.. To live and die through them – as she existed in the hell that was eternal life.. Watching those around her die while she simply continued to exist… Unable to escape into the peace of death.. Turning, she saw the great Soul Flyer as he fully entered her dimension. “It has been a long time,” she answered as she nodded her respect. She turned off her weapon systems, for she had no reason to fear Death. After all, she couldn’t very well die – could she…

His blade of death was still in its sheath, so she knew he had not come to take the spark of her soon-to-be bond mate back to his realm. So why had he come? She cocked her head in curiosity. Giving him an expectant look, she waited for his reasons.

“I come to talk with you, for your fate approaches,” he said as he nodded his respect to his fellow immortal.

“What fate?” she asked.

His optics bore into hers. “To follow a different God, and perhaps earn the right to eventually become mortal again,” he stated.

This shocked her to her core! Stepping back, she looked at him with her mouth open in total surprise, as the ice crunched under her thrusters. Her crimson optics gleamed against the background of white, the fire of her barely contained anger lighting the crystalline air around her. “But you told me I was trapped; that I could never escape from eternal life!” she said with accusation in her voice. It had been his statement that had forced her into her depression so long ago, forced her into Sideways’ arms, almost destroying the Cybertron of this dimension. She stepped towards him, her stance holding the threat of violence.

“By yourself, you cannot;” he agreed. His optics bore into hers as he stood his ground. They were both immortals, it was pointless to use physical threats against each other. But he understood that the femme was still more accustomed to dealing with mortals. She still avoided associating herself with other Soul Flyers, still choosing to masquerade as a mortal. Still somewhat in denial about fully accepting what she was.

She stepped closer, not the least afraid of the Specter of Death. “Then how?” she demanded, her voice having the edge of anger.

“Once you placed within you, gems of carbon and metal of platinum. These changed, merged, and absorbed the very energy of this planet.” Nodding upward at the dancing Northern Lights, he made it obvious as to what energy had been absorbed. “Then one of these unique gems became the power behind the Autobots’ light – the Matrix.” Pointing towards her port knee, he continued; “the others remains within you. Having helped you once defeat the evil long ago.”

“Yes, but what does this have to do with my status as a Soul Flyer?” she was both; intrigued and scared to death. She had faced a living death because of her battle against Unicron. Had lain trapped within him, used by him, for millennia.. Until an Autobot had unwittedly freed her… She didn’t want to relive that period of her life.. Of her mistakes which had led up to it..

Nodding, he explained, “You and now your Seeker offspring, produce the seeds that Primus needs planted. If you agree to do his bidding, he will consider allowing you to become mortal when you are done; Providing that you are bonded with his chosen Prime at that time.”

“I will be mortal…” she murmured, her tone one of wistful disbelief at a dream finally within her grasp.

“But to do this, you must not follow those Seekers that he will take during teleport. You must not try to bring them back from the dimension he has placed them in. If they need assistance, Primus will call you, tell you what must be done. You can do no more – no less. Whenever Primus calls, you must follow without question.”

“Why?!” her optics got large. This price he asked for her very mortality; was to watch silently as her sparklings and grandsparklings were taken from her. The very family that had made her somewhat whole again in this eternal hell that was her life; would have to pay the price. Energon tears filled her optics, for she knew that it wasn’t really her choice.. They were all pawns of Primus’s game. But she had to swear to not follow the lost.. To not bring them back home. This was her price for mortality.. Her tears.. Her guilt.. Her shame for being what she was. But that great sacrifice was still not enough for the God of Transformers. She must agree to be his mindless tool.. To do his bidding without question… She would have to travel from this dimension that she now called ‘home’.. Anxiety filled her core for she was not sure she could find her way back. Her way back to the mech she now loved. The mech that could now be her ticket to mortality.. A dream she had never thought would come to pass.

“Stay away from her!” Prime’s voice rang out. He lunged towards them, only knowing that the Spector of Death was facing his future bond mate. He couldn’t bear to lose her now.. He had to protect her from death itself.. She was his world now.. He armed his weapon systems, knowing it was futile against Death. But he was desperate to try anything to protect his future bond mate from the Specter.

Calmly, the Golden Spector raised his hand towards the protective mech rushing towards him. He spread his fingers wide. Fifty feet from them, Optimus stopped in his tracks, his amber optics going wide as he felt a force ensnare him. Death closed his hand, and the invisible force around Prime locked his arms tightly to his sides and forced him to his knees as it began to crush him. His knees dug into the ice beneath him as he began to writhe in agony as he was slowly crushed.

Raptor stepped forward, putting her hand over Death’s and forcing him to stop crushing Prime. “That’s enough, leave him be,” she ordered with a dead calmness over her façade. Her optics scanned Death’s façade.. She was his equal now.. As damned as he was in eternal life… They understood each other more so than any mech ever could. But unlike Death, she’d never truly given up on the dream of being mortal again. She still felt – hope….

Death’s brilliant optics bore into hers, he appeared to consider challenging her – but then suddenly he broke out in a chuckle. He slapped her wing with the very hand he had been crushing Prime with. “You are learning your power as a Soul Flyer my sister – that is good!” he praised her.

As the crushing force lifted off of him, Prime staggered to his feet, sliding a bit on the slick ice beneath him. He looked from Raptor to Death in total shock. “Sister? Raptor – what is this all about?!” he demanded to know.

Before he could try to approach again, she held up her hand to stop him; “I will explain later Optimus, do not interfere right now.” She didn’t want the mortal hurt.. The mortal that she now loved with all her being...

“You have learned well Soul Flyer,” Death complimented. His optics watched as the big mech grudgingly backed off, Optimus’s optics filled with suspicious confusion. Then he turned his harsh gaze to Raptor. The femme didn’t even flinch as she matched them with her own. She had finally come to terms with her immortality it seemed, but she was still desperate to be mortal. To finally have the ability to die again.. “But have you finally accepted what you truly are now? Prove it to me. Show Prime what you’ve been hiding, But this time – call to Primus,” he challenged the femme.

Raptor studied him, her lip quivered as she realized that she was exposed for the atrocity she was. Everything that she had ever wanted to protect her family from – was now out in the open. There was nothing left to hide; if Prime left her for her lies then she’d accept it as the price she paid for being what she was. Falling deep within herself, she found that small part of her that was still human. Focusing on it – she called. But instead of calling to her human God, she called to Primus.

A shock of power unlike anything she’d ever felt before - blew threw her. Almost knocking her to her own knees! But still she concentrated, blocking out the outside world as she let the rapture take her. The energy-filled gems embedded within the very matrix of her skin began to respond. Tendrils of the multicolored energy flowed over her air frame, creating a being of almost pure plasma energy. Raptor could feel the very pulse of the Earth; she became an extension of it... One with it… A living, functioning tendril of its mighty power… She felt as one with the gyrating energy balance of the great magnetic field…

Then slowly, gently, she allowed the energy to flow back within her, as she calmed both her meta and the crystals. But the call to Primus had changed her, and as her fuselage solidified from the plasma energy, the change fixated. For now she stood, fully one of Primus’s chosen Guardians. Her dull fuselage now one of the deepest of blacks, the leading edges of her wings now a brilliant gold. The dual insignias on her wings now separate – one wing showing Autobot, the other showed Decepticon. Even her optics had changed. They swirled in a strange liquid crystal pattern, the very tendrils of the Borealis flowing through them.

Death smiled as he enjoyed the mortal’s look of sheer wonder at the power of Primus.

“The first femme Guardian is surely an impressive one, is she not?” he asked him as he cocked his own head while he studied the change Primus had wrought within his immortal ‘sister’.

“What is he talking about, Raptor? What are you?” Prime demanded to know. His amber optics gleamed in both wonder and confusion. The Seeker he’d grown to love so deeply; was not what he’d thought she was. She was something so beyond his experience; and he didn’t know if he should feel fear or amazement.

Again, Raptor signaled him to have patience. Turning to Death she lifted her chin in pride. “He asked that I do his bidding, that I become his tool. I’ve already unwittedly been used by him once. Is this a similar mission?” she demanded to know.

Death chuckled, “Yes, you catch on quickly Guardian. This bodes well for your future.”

“You said I will lose some of my descendants to his bidding. Yet, I’ll also be called on to protect those same Seekers when needed? Do I do this alone?” she asked.

“No, the Covenant will choose those whom will accompany you on each mission that Primus sends you on.”

Raptor studied him, “But they are mortal, they can die.” She didn’t want to have to lead her family members to their deaths. It was too much to ask for – for the mere chance of becoming mortal again.

“True, but without them, you will be unsuccessful. I will keep my blade sheathed, for you know how to bring them back if necessary,” he promised.

She sensed Optimus shifting uncomfortably, for he most definitely knew exactly what that entailed. “So who has been chosen?”

“Hotshot and Wheeljack, along with the three minicon teams, and the Earth Seekers that the Covenant will choose to transplant into the new dimension, to ‘seed’ that dimension with his Guardians,” Death answered.

“I will volunteer, let them stay here!” Optimus argued. His innate need to protect his men and his sparklings, forced him to volunteer in their stead. Even though he didn’t fully understand what these missions would entail. If Raptor was to go, he would stand at her side; just as she had given him her oath to stand at his. But if Death himself was withholding his blade, then these missions were far more important than any that Prime had ever been part of before.

Death looked at him, his brilliant optics giving the mortal a weak feeling in his core. “There is no volunteering. Primus needs the matrix here,” he flatly stated.

Optimus boldly approached the two immortals; he couldn’t bear for Raptor to go without him. They’d sworn to fight at each other’s side hadn’t they? “I will give the matrix to another while we are gone, it will not leave,” he promised.

The brilliant Specter studied the mortal, his strong gaze causing butterflies of anxiety flow through Prime. But what the mortal had offered as a compromise would be satisfactory to Primus. And having Raptor and Prime power link and thus even more invincible, would help to ensure success. “That would be satisfactory to Primus, as long as you further develop your power linking capabilities with each other,” he stated.

She felt relief flow through her. She’d have her future bond mate at her side. His strength and conviction would shore up her insecurities. “So when?” Raptor asked.

“Since you can travel both dimensions and time, there is no rush. Enjoy your time here, and come when you are ready.” With that, Death was gone.

------

To Accept the Unforgivable

Raptor looked at Optimus long and hard just as he returned her look with wariness in his optics. Even though he’d made that deal with Death so that he could accompany her into the battles that Primus would force her to fight, there were many questions he wanted her to answer. He needed to know. He needed to understand. And just like she had done with Silverbolt those eons ago – there was only one way for him to truly know.

Without a word, she took Prime’s hand and led him back into the hangar. Motioning for him to sit on the bunk, she stood between his legs. Silently, she unlatched his mask, noting the confusion in his amber optics. “There’s much that you need to know before you take me as a bond mate. Many questions you need answered,” she said as she ran a finger along his cheek. “Do you still want me?”

He studied her intently, even though he truly loved her and had made that deal to accompany her, he was unsure now that Death had referred to her as his ‘sister’. Was she truly Death’s sister?!?! How had she lived amongst them as one of them for so long?!? “Do you really love me?” he asked. For no matter what she was; or the secrets she had hidden, if she truly loved him to her very core – he’d accept whatever she told him. Seeing her nod, he gently wrapped his fingers around her other hand. “Then my answer is - Yes,” he replied.

“Then you need to know what I really am, what I’ve really done..” she murmured as she opened the access panels over each of their primary integration ports. “To do this, you must access my memory files – all of them.”

“But why?” he asked; for no mech ever allowed another complete and total access. It wasn’t necessary under most circumstances.

She plugged in the data transfer cables. “I’m like no other Seeker. Not just because of my human-spark, but because of my history, because of my immortality.”

“Immortality?” he stammered. No mech was immortal! Hadn’t they found Raptor almost dead? But Death had referred to her as his ‘sister’ and Death was immortal. So if she was really his sister, then it would be logical for her to also be immortal. Just the possibility that an immortal had been living amongst them for so long, and that he himself had been sharing both quarters and his spark with her without even knowing it – made his meta swoon with the implications.

Smiling sadly, Raptor kissed him lightly, knowing what he was thinking. “I was far from death when you found me. I was in forced hibernation. I cannot die… At least not now.”

Pressing herself against him, she wrapped her arms around him. At the same time, he felt her drop her firewalls completely. “Enter my meta, Prime – know me for all that I am.”

He began to copy and download her files. There were so many that he couldn’t believe that a single meta could contain all of it! The sheer volume sought to overwhelm him, so he sent some of it to his backup processor. As he finished, he felt the cable disconnect. Heard her murmur for him to now go through it all, then she stepped away.

For several Earth hours, he sorted through those files. Both amazed and appalled at all Raptor had done in her life. Her emotions and thoughts during each incident were so clear that they now merged with his, becoming a part of him. He felt her pain, her joy, her confusion, her anger. He understood her glee as she attacked Defensor, as she targeted Autobot after Autobot. As Galvatron beat her and overloaded with her – Prime knew her internal pain – as she sought to overwhelm it with external pain.

Then the strange Autobot Seeker who first made her aware of the strange gems growing within her; made her return to her human God. In a sense, she set the course for Raptor to create that dimensions’ peace. The two captive Autobots, who showed Raptor the pleasure within a Seeker’s body, enabling her to accept herself. A thousand- Earth years of peace, that drove Raptor’s human-spark to the edge of insanity; Forcing her in total desperation to fall into Sideway’s arms, almost causing the destruction of his own dimensions’ Cybertron.

And now, he knew it all. He knew for certain that the very Matrix that had guided the Autobots for millennia – had originated from within this desperate human-spark. Her backup memory core, with all of its tactical and technical data, was the original Matrix. Now, many rebuilds later, the memory core was different – but the strange power source was still the same. It was the power-filled gem that Raptor had first put in it; one of the last remnants of her tragic human life.

For him to bond with her, would make her mortal. How could he ask her now? She could have any other mech as bond mate, and remain a Soul Flyer. But to take him, would mean eventual death. How could he expect her to now want him?

Hesitantly, he stood and walked toward the door. He knew that he now, could truly love this complex human-spark, this Soul Flyer. He could accept everything she’d ever done – for deep inside, she’d only ever wanted one simple thing – to stop the fighting. And that’s a dream he understood all too clearly.

----

Coming out of the hangar into the crystalline air of the far north, Optimus scanned around him with his brilliant amber orbs. He spied the Seeker’s silhouette against the shifting tendrils of the Northern Lights. He knew with certainty, he couldn’t ask her to bond with him now. He felt his core teetering on the brink of the emotional abyss of despair once again. The tragedy of having his first bond mate leave him, and now to realize that he couldn’t ask the femme he’d fallen in love with to be his second bond mate, sought to overwhelm his emotional control But he had to accept this, had to move on from it. He couldn’t ask her to be willing to eventually die – just for his sake. He had to think of what was best for her. She was Primus’s chosen.. One of Primus’s immortal Guardians..

“Optimus?” she softly called. Her sensory arrays more than aware of his every movement as they constantly scanned the area around her. She turned her head slightly, the strange new blackness of her armor offset by the glistening golden trim. Her strangely swirling optics now matched the dancing tendrils of light in the dark sky above.

She literally took his breath away as he scanned her with his optics. The show of Primus’s raw power in changing her so completely was simply awe-inspiring. Forcing the butterflies to quiet down within his core, Prime focused on who she was. She was Raptor.. The femme he now loved.. The femme he could not take as bond mate. Biting down on his lip, he controlled his emotions.. His pain at having to reject her now, or one day watch her off-line. Striding to her, he stood next to her as they both looked upon the beauty of Earth’s power.

“I love you, Raptor;” his voice broke. He knew what the right decision had to be. “But I cannot ask you to bond with me,” his voice broke as he said it. He loved her so much – he couldn’t ask her to bond with him. She’d eventually become mortal then… She’d die..

Her core plummeted into the depths of her old despair. He was her only hope to fulfill her life’s one true desire.. One true personal dream.. To be mortal again.. Primus was going to take her family from her anyways. Use them as pawns in his eternal war. She could not challenge the God.. Could not protect them from his call… She’d stand there eternally, watching them struggle, fight and die – one-by-one. The only chance to leave this hell that was eternal life was to become mortal. To eventually enjoy the peace of Death’s realm, to be with her lost family members again.

She turned, unshed tears glistening in her strangely swirling optics as she faced the rejection of the one mech who could give her that hope of peace. He couldn’t stand to bond with her because of what she was.. What she’d done.. The mistakes she couldn’t take back.. The abomination that was her… “Is what I am, that terrible?” she asked softly as she choked back a sob of despair.

Why would she think that? Prime asked himself. “No, what you are is beautiful. Imperfect, tragic, but beautiful nonetheless,” he answered. His optics scanned her changed fuselage. She was now no longer a rather plain femme, she was stunning in her true chassis.. A chassis testament to Primus’s and Earth’s combined might.

Her wings trembled slightly. Was it the fact that she had hidden her immortality from him? Was it all she had done as a Decepticon commander so long ago? If she could change either – she would.. But she couldn’t.. She was the pathetic human-spark that had made so many terrible decisions.. Decisions that had caused so much pain to so many.. She had hoped he could forgive her. See the repentance within her. “Then why can’t you bond with me?” she asked so softly that his audios barely picked it up.

His optics widened in disbelief! If they were bonded when she fulfilled her duties to Primus, she’d become mortal.. She’d die! What mech would want that – if they could stay immortal? Never fearing death… “Because it would mean that you would die.”

She smiled sadly, “I’ve longed to be able to do that, for millennia. Is dying truly a bad thing? Or is forcing a spark to live eternally, when it doesn’t want too?” Her voice had the spark-wrenching tone of a soul torn in half. A soul having been forced to live far beyond its natural length.. A spark wanting the peace of knowing it would find true peace one day cycle..

His expression registered shock, she wanted to be mortal! She wanted to be able to die! And she wanted to be his bond mate until that happened! Gently, he touched her cheek, wiping away the tears that were forming. “Do you really want to give that up? Give up being a Soul Flyer, to eventually die with me?” he asked incredulously.

She looked into his optics. “If you will stand by me on that day – yes,” she answered. Her strange optics swirled to a bluer shade.

Pulling her into his arms, Optimus couldn’t believe the depth of her love for him. He felt her tremble against him, knew it was because of her terror in going into battle. To possibly make the same mistakes she had in the past. To again become the tool used in the war against Unicron.. And to watch her family – his family – also be used in this eternal war. But he’d stand with her. Together they’d be strong!

“When I am called - will you truly stand by me Optimus?” she murmured.

He tightened his arms, putting his chin on top of her helm and looking at the brilliance of the Northern Lights. This was the very source of the energy that had saved his own race – twice. “Yes… I would stand next to you for millennia..” he promised. He felt her relax into him at his promise. Her fear of making mistakes slowly fading from her meta. Together they could make the decisions… Face the battles as one.. Do Primus’s bidding as a team.. They would always be together.. In life – and eventually – death.