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Innocent Rain	By : saxonjesus Category: +. to F > D. Gray Man Views: 3947 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
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Chapter List
- 6
- 7
- 8
Chapter 6�Drifting

June 21, 2013�The
Dark Order, Main Branch

�� Somehow, they had
lost Lavi. Yuu had allowed him to walk behind them, and now he was regretting
the decision. He had followed them to the meeting, but that was where he had
begun to act far stranger than he had been earlier. His eye was as vacant as it
had been earlier in the day, if not worse. It was lifeless and flat, and Yuu
was starting to wonder what was going on in the annoying Exorcist�s head. He
had seemed to come around a bit every once in a while,
his eye sparking with life for just a moment before his features went slack
again. Once, he had grabbed Yuu�s hand in both of his. Yuu had not been able to
do more than shake the other man off. He was afraid that anything he said would
break the other man. But after he�d removed his hand with a light �tch,� the man had gone, if possible, even limper. It was as
if he was a zombie, unfeeling and unliving.

�� Yuu had been
stupid to think the redhead would keep following them. He had known for a long
time that �Lavi� was not real, and he had always wondered what would happen if �Lavi�
disappeared. He should have known that Lavi would have wanted solitude. In many
ways, Lavi was similar to him. He never liked to show weakness, and the
presence of others was too distracting, especially when trying to keep oneself together. Yuu knew that feeling intimately. The
intoxicating idea of just letting others comfort you was almost too hard to
ignore, but then people would ask what was wrong. And that would be bad.

�� What struck him
the most was Lavi�s face as they had left the Director�s office.
He knew that face too. He knew it so well that he couldn�t help but remember
when he had made that face.

�� Yuu�s uneven, short hair stuck out at odd
angles, and Yuu found himself loathing it as much as did
that man. He had been sitting in the living room, reading, when he felt a sharp
tug at the back of his head. The smell of alcohol assaulted him. It was too
early for the man to be home, but defying all logic, there he was. Yuu fought
the urge to run�he needed to protect her.

�� You
look like a girl,� the man thundered. Yuu looked around and gasped in horror as
the man pulled out a sharp kitchen knife from behind his back. �That�s a
problem. Men shouldn�t be girly like you.�

�� He
pulled hard on Yuu�s hair, ripping it out at the scalp. Yuu whimpered. He knew
how bad it was to scream.

�� Don�t
snivel like a girl, Yuu-chan,� the man growled. He brought the knife up to
Yuu�s scalp and began to cut, not caring if he nicked Yuu�s skin or not. Yuu
nearly vomited as he saw a lump of skin and hair fall to the ground at his
feet. Blood began to drip into his eyes, and behind him the man kept hacking
away at his head. Suddenly, the man stopped and kicked Yuu to the floor. Yuu
knew what was following and braced himself�.

�� Looking
at his foul hair in mirror, Yuu tried to ignore his lifeless eyes and slack
face. He did not smile. He hadn�t smiled in a long time. The bathroom door
opened behind him. She walked in, carrying a pair of scissors. Yuu tried to
hide his flinch. She would not hurt
him.

�� Here,
Yuu, let me fix your hair,� she said, and he did. He didn�t even complain when
she used a cloth covered in alcohol to sterilize his blood-crusted scalp.

�� Blood.
That�s what Yuu smelled. Without realizing it, he had walked to his room. He
had his hand on the knob, but the smell of blood was distracting him. He wasn�t
injured, and when he scanned the rest of the corridor, it was empty. Then, a
screeching, keening sob cut through the nearby air. Yuu�s head snapped in the
direction of the sound so fast his neck cracked. Cursing and rubbing the spot,
he listened for where the sound was coming from. There was a pounding noise,
soft and rhythmic, and it was coming from the room next to his.

�� Yuu�s heart froze.
Lavi�s room. The door was still open, and he rushed to
it, not caring about appearances. It didn�t matter that he was acting like he cared,
nor did it matter that he actually did. He ran to the door and pushed it
opened. The smell of blood mounted, but he ignored it like he did the stench of
burning Akuma.

�� Yuu stopped short,
rooted to the ground like a thousand-year-old tree. Lavi was there, his red
hair plastered to his head with sweat. He was hunched and on his knees at the
far end of his distasteful rug. His hands were coated in blood, and there were
flecks of the viscous red fluid on his bed and around him. Yuu walked further
into the room and saw two large, red pools on the stone floor in front of
Lavi�s hands. And Lavi himself was a sight Yuu wanted to forget. His entire
body was shaking with the force of his sobs. They were great, screeching cries
that echoed loudly off the walls of the small room. Lavi pulled his misshapen
right hand up to pummel it once more on the hard ground, and Yuu found himself
moving so fast that it felt like he was floating. He dropped down behind Lavi
and caught his right arm before his broken, blood-covered hand struck the
ground again. Wrapping his other arm around Lavi�s left arm and chest, he pulled the shattered man backward into him.

�� The change was
instantaneous. It was as if Lavi had still had some sense of composure while on
the ground, and it was now gone. The man simply collapsed in Yuu�s arms,
sobbing loudly, draining out a lifetime of grief and pain. He fisted his ruined
hands in the rough, thick fabric of Yuu�s Exorcist jacket. Not knowing what to
do, Yuu pulled him as close as possible and rocked back and forth.

�� The sun had long
since set when Lavi finally lapsed into sleep. It wasn�t restful, though, from
what Yuu could see. The other man was still quivering in his arms, and any time
Yuu shifted, he would cry out. Yuu�s legs were all pins and needles beneath
him, but he couldn�t bring himself to care whenever that pitying noise slipped
out from the other man�s throat.

�� He heard a sound
from the doorway and turned to look, eliciting another whimper from Lavi. He
pulled the man tighter to his chest and let his eyes adjust to the light that
entered the room from the doorway. After a moment, he recognized the figure as
Lenalee. Yuu was secretly glad. He didn�t know how he would have dealt with
anyone else seeing this. He didn�t want people seeing him�or especially Lavi�like
this.

�� I � I couldn�t
sleep, and I came to see if Lavi was okay,� Lenalee said quietly. Lavi stirred
at the sound of his name but then settled further into Yuu�s arms.

�� Close the door
and come back in the morning,� Yuu said, keeping his voice even. It wasn�t hard
to sound like his usual self�he had practiced staying emotionless for years.
Lenalee seemed to understand that Yuu wasn�t trying to be rude and nodded
before doing as she was asked. He heard her footsteps as she walked away. He
also heard her come back a few hours later. She didn�t knock on the door, and Yuu had the feeling that she was sitting vigil
outside, making sure no one disturbed them. For some reason, he was glad.

�� Lavi finally fell
into a deep sleep sometime near dawn, and Yuu was glad to finally be able to
move. His legs had long since gone numb. He lifted Lavi onto the bed without
standing; he didn�t want to fall over with the man in his arms. As he moved to
get up, he came to the shocking conclusion that he couldn�t, and he waited for
long minutes as his blood made its way back down to his legs. It was
uncomfortable, but he could put up with far worse than that�he knew that from
experience. Fighting away the memory, he pulled up Lavi�s desk chair and sat in
it. He didn�t sleep, just held Lavi�s hand (that was not his choice. Whenever
he tried to pull away, the redhead would do that deplorable whimpering thing)
until the sun was high in the sky.

�� Yuu was grateful
when Lenalee returned. She knocked once before coming in. She stood in the
doorway, looking at Lavi. Her eyes were wide as she saw the blood stains on the
ground, and she gasped when she took in his horrifyingly disfigured hands. Yuu
waited for her to say something, but it seemed that her voice was caught in her
throat.

�� Lenalee,� he
whispered, his voice hoarse from exhaustion, �get a doctor.� He paused for a
second, then added, �and food.� She nodded and left,
closing the door behind her.

�� Lavi still slept
when she returned with one of the Order�s doctors. The man gasped when he saw
Lavi�s hands.

�� We need to bring
him to hospital immediately,� the British doctor said urgently. Yuu activated
his Innocence and pointed it at the man�s throat.

�� He doesn�t leave
this room, wakakiru?� Yuu hissed menacingly. The doctor
stepped back.

�� Please
understand, he could lose the ability to move his hands if we don�t fix the
problem now.�

�� Hot fear flowed
like lava down to his stomach, where it pooled uncomfortably. Lavi would never
forgive him if he didn�t listen. He deactivated his Innocence, and the blade
disappeared from his hand. He then moved to pick up Lavi, but the doctor put a
hand on his shoulder.

�� He shouldn�t be
jostled. I�ll call for a gurney.� He pulled out what Yuu had learned to be a
phone, and he dialed a number. Within moments, he was speaking rapid English
that contained too many words that Yuu didn�t know to feel comfortable. Lenalee
walked up next to him and put a comforting hand on his arm. He allowed the
contact and stood perfectly still as another two doctors walked in with the
gurney. They moved Lavi carefully. Yuu watched as they pushed the gurney out,
and then, remembering himself, ran after it. He wouldn�t leave Lavi while he
was in such a state. From the sound of the boots running behind him, Lenalee
wasn�t leaving Lavi, either. She really was too caring to be an Exorcist.

�� He stayed at
Lavi�s side as he was x-rayed, and he never left it.

---

�� He was drifting.
There was nothing around him, but he drifted around in it anyway. The
nothingness felt good, especially since lately, there
had been a strange throbbing from somewhere. He didn�t know how long he had
been drifting, but it felt good, so he kept doing it. In the distance, he heard
someone say something, but he didn�t pay attention; it wasn�t important. All he
needed to do was just keep drifting like this, drifting forever. He had no
reason to stop.

---

June 28, 2013�The
Dark Order, Hospital Wing

�� Sitting stiffly in
the uncomfortable wooden chair, Yuu watched Lavi breathe deeply in and out. He
clenched his fists in anger at the worry he was feeling. He tried to beat it
down, but it wouldn�t go away. He heard a sharp knock at the door. Smith barged
in without waiting for an answer.

�� Why didn�t you
come to my office when you were called?� the Director asked loudly. Yuu glared
at him. He knew, logically, that Lavi was still under anesthetics and wouldn�t
wake, but it still felt wrong to yell in a sickroom.

�� I was busy,� he
responded flatly, returning his gaze to the sleeping redhead.

�� Doing what?�

�� Watching,� he
retorted, not bothering to look at the preposterous man again.

�� Well, I have a
mission for you,� the man blustered.

�� Well, I won�t be
going.�

�� Yes, you will,�
the man ground out in a voice Yuu was sure was meant to make the recipient
quail and bow down to the man�s commands. Normally, he would have accepted the
mission immediately, but something about the thought of leaving Lavi disturbed
him greatly.

�� No,� he said in a
tone that left no room for negotiation. �I won�t.�

�� You�re an
Exorcist under my command; you�re going to go,� Smith commanded.

�� No. I won�t.�
This time, there was no response, and the man�s face turned almost purple with
rage before he turned and stormed from the hospital room.

�� The redhead
stirred lightly and sighed, and the movement brought the man�s heavily bandaged
hands to Yuu�s mind. The doctors had managed to reconstruct them, for the most
part. However, it seemed that Lavi would probably never recover completely from
the injuries. He had shattered both of his hands almost beyond repair, and the
doctors were forced to replace the bone with metal. Yuu wondered what he would
do about fighting. An Exorcist who could not grasp his Innocence was as useless
as a Finder in the middle of a battle, and everyone knew the mortality rate of
Finders. Yuu shuddered without meaning to and hoped Lavi would take to the
physical therapy eagerly.

�� There was a light
tap on the door, and Yuu grunted. A moment later, the door opened, and the
British doctor entered, carrying a clipboard.

�� It�s been a week
since the surgery, and you expressed interest in wanting to return him to his
room?� The doctor asked, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. Yuu
nodded, waiting patiently for the answer. When the doctor realized Yuu wasn�t
going to give a verbal response, he added, �I think it will be fine as long as
a doctor comes down to check on him a few times a day. It�s not like he�s going
very far, and we need the bed�there was a Noah attack, and many of our Finders
are in a bad way.�

�� Yuu nodded and
continued to watch Lavi as the doctor went on about Noah�s Strength.

---

July 1, 2013�The Dark Order,
Lavi�s Room

�� Yuu heard the
whispers outside the room.

�� Suicide
attempt?� One girl clad in an Exorcist jacket asked.

�� Most likely,�
another person responded. �I mean, his hands were covered in blood, weren�t
they?�

�� Yeah.
I saw that girly guy with him, the one Amanda calls
Yuu-pyon�� Yuu almost left the room to kill the girl.
Almost. But he didn�t want Lavi to make that horrible
noise again, as he had every time Yuu left to do the necessities. Even though
he had Lenalee stay with Lavi at those times, the redhead Exorcist did not stop
his keening whine until Yuu had returned. He had been asleep for three weeks
and two days. The doctors had said his mind was fine, but that whatever trauma
he had suffered was keeping him from waking. Unconsciousness was a way for the
body to cope with immense distress, and Lavi would wake when he was ready to
face the real world again. Still, that had not stopped Yuu from being
incredibly worried. He usually tried not to care, but for some reason, all his
efforts in that area were lost when it came to Lavi. He couldn�t leave the man,
not when he was so horribly broken. Yuu knew that he wouldn�t have survived
everything if he hadn�t had her with
him, to comfort him and heal him. He was infuriated with himself as he was drawn
into another disturbing memory. They had been happening so frequently lately,
after years of almost nothing, and that bothered him.

�� Yuu had fallen asleep outside her door
again. He was jarred into consciousness by a sharp kick to the head. Looking up
groggily, Yuu felt his heart falter at the sight of the large man above him.
The man�s foot was raised as if to deliver another kick, but instead, it
dropped swiftly onto Yuu�s outstretched arm, snapping it like a twig. This
time, he screamed out.

�� Iie!� He cried, his voice ripping from his throat.

�� Don�t
scream like a fucking girl!� the man shouted, grinding his foot down on the
broken bone. Yuu saw stars, and he moaned and screamed
again.

�� Otou-san, yamero!� He shouted, but of course, the man
didn�t stop. Later, when a doctor came to visit, she held his hand silently as they pulled the bone back into place. His
father had told the doctor that he had fallen from a tree. Thus began Yuu�s
reputation as Kanda Yasuo�s clumsy son.

�� Yuu woke to the
sound of birds chirping outside the window. A comforting
warmth was next to him, and he exhaled peacefully as he pulled the warmth
closer.

�� He froze. Whatever
was next to him was stirring gently, making short,
light groaning noises as it did so. He cracked an eye open and then threw
himself back as quickly as possible. He fell off the bed, hitting the orange
shag rug hard.

�� Gyaaa!� He shouted. When had he ended up next to
Lavi? When had he ended up in bed, under
the covers, shirtless, with Lavi?
He had fallen asleep in the chair!

�� Lavi groaned and
opened his eye. He looked around until he saw Yuu and then asked in a cracked
whisper�probably because he couldn�t make any more noise��did you just� �kya?�� His quiet voice was
astonished.

�� No,� Yuu replied
coldly, adamantly. �I did not. I said �gya,� not �kya.� There�s a difference between�wait, you�re awake?� His
eyes widened in amazement.

�� Of
course. It�s morning; why wouldn�t I be?�

�� You�ve been
asleep for the past three and a half weeks, and you ask why you wouldn�t��

�� Yuu stopped
speaking. Lavi had collapsed back down and was now staring vacantly into space.
At least he�s awake, Yuu thought. But
somehow, that thought wasn�t as comforting as it should have been.

---

�� He was cold, cold
and � warm? There was noise in the room, a small cackle. Sleep tight, said a voice he recognized but couldn�t place. For
some reason, the color white came to mind, and he felt warm in his stomach,
like he was being comforted and relaxed. Then something was very close to him,
and after a while, something warm and heavy settled around his waist. Something
pressed very close to his body, and it felt very good and very warm. He wasn�t
drifting anymore, and he was sad at the lack of nothingness. He wanted it back,
but it was okay if it was gone while he was so warm like this. He let himself
bask in it, like it was the sun and he was on a very warm beach somewhere.
Maybe the beach was covered in rocks, surrounded by crystal blue water that
rippled with waves. He wanted to stay in it all day. Yes, it was day now,
because the inside of his eyelid was orange from sunlight beating down on him.
A strange noise came from next to him, and a light breeze hit his chest. The
warmth shifted next to him. The sun was moving. One of its rays slid quickly
away from his waist, and he fought to open his eye, to find it and make it come
back. Because now he was getting cold, and he didn�t like
that. Cold reminded him of things he didn�t want to remember. Cold
reminded him of lots of people who he knew but weren�t real. How many of them
were there? Oh yes, forty-nine.

�� Gyaaa!� That was a very strange noise. It was
choked, and it moved away at the same trajectory his sun had. Why was the sun
talking, yelling? He pried his eye open and was shocked by the clarity of the
world outside him. It was too detailed, too bright, too much for him to handle.
But he wondered what had happened to his sun, so he looked around. There was
someone he knew on the ground, a long-haired man with pale golden skin and
deep, remarkable dark eyes that showed nothing of what he was truly feeling. He
was bare-chested, and Lavi noticed the clear-cut muscles of his chest and his
stomach. And there was the Sanskrit tattoo that Lavi knew was connected to his
lotus flower.

�� Did you just� �kya?�� He asked, surprised that
this man would make such a cutesy, girly noise. It was not in character for him
to say that.

�� No,� the man�Yuu,
yes, it was Yuu�replied, a defiant tone in his beautiful, deep voice that
always sounded like butter to Lavi. �I did not. I said �gya,�
not �kya.� There�s a difference between�wait, you�re
awake?� His voice changed to a tone of complete shock as his eyes widened.

�� Of
course. It�s morning; why wouldn�t I be?�

�� You�ve been�� but
he didn�t hear anything more, because he couldn�t remember who he was. Was he Lavi? But that didn�t make sense, because Lavi
was the forty-ninth person he knew that wasn�t real. But at the same time, was
he Lavi? Was that what he used to refer to himself? Who was he? The world�s clarity faded, and he tried to discern just who
and what he was. He was an Exorcist. He remembered that�that was a good start.
What else was he? He knew he was not a Bookman, and thinking about that made
his chest very cold and painful, like the sun�s presence hadn�t been there at
all. He knew that his sun was very important to him,
more important than he wanted to admit to himself, so he wouldn�t. Carefully,
he sorted his thoughts, putting his Exorcist identity in one corner of his
mind. His not-Bookman identity went into the far corner, where it wouldn�t hurt
quite so much, and he put the sun in the corner right at the front of his mind.
It made him warm and comfortable. But there was still so much he didn�t know
about himself. He didn�t have a purpose for his life, but as an Exorcist, he
had a purpose to live for at the moment. There was a name he called himself. It
was number forty-nine. Lavi. He supposed that he
should put that in the fourth corner of his mind. Besides, wasn�t that what the
sun referred to him as? Always calling him by number
forty-nine�s name. And he liked his sun, wanted it to stay, so he kept
that name to appease it. He would be called Lavi. He was sure number forty-nine
wouldn�t mind, since number forty-nine wasn�t real. He heard no words of
protest, so he firmly linked the name Lavi in the fourth and final corner of
his mind. The corners made him feel safe, especially the
corner with his sun. His chest didn�t feel so cold from thinking about
Bookman anymore. It was warm, burning, like a flame heating his body from
inside his heart.

�� But besides the
name, there was nothing in the Lavi corner of his head. He needed to know who
he was. He was a serious person, one who took his duties seriously. He also
knew that at some point, he had had a fair amount of pride in his
accomplishments, though he wasn�t sure what he had accomplished anymore. He
decided to ask the forty-nine people who weren�t real. Perhaps they were all
manifestations of himself, or of a part of him. Painstakingly, he began
questioning number one. This would take a while, and he mentally prepared for
it.

---

July 12, 2013�The
Dark Order, Main Branch

�� The doctor was in
the room again, hooking Lavi up to an IV for nourishment. Yuu shuddered to
think how thin the other man had become. It had been a week since Lavi had
woken, and since then, Lavi had drifted in and out of consciousness. Or rather,
he drifted between sleep and the trance-like state that he�d lapsed into after
speaking briefly to Yuu that one morning. Nearly a month had passed since their
return from the mission in the south of France, and while the other Exorcists
had been on plenty of other missions, Yuu still steadfastly refused to leave
Lavi�s side. He didn�t care if he had made an enemy of Smith, he was not
leaving. Lavi reminded Yuu too much of himself, and as much as he tried to deny
it, he wished that he had had someone to stay by his side the entire time. Yuu
yawned; he hadn�t slept in three days, and all the sleep he had gotten before
that hadn�t been restful in the least. His dreams were getting, if possible,
worse. Every night, he was forced to watch his memories from before he was an
Exorcist.

�� Lavi groaned,
making the first sound he had in a long time. Yuu looked up from his position
in Lavi�s desk chair. The redhead was stirring again, as he had been doing
disturbingly often in the past few hours. He was giving Yuu false hope that he
would wake soon. He noticed the doctor had left and was relieved, but just when
Yuu was about to turn his attention back to the wood grain pattern in the desk,
Lavi opened his eye.

�� He was staring
despondently again.� Getting up and
stretching his aching joints, he walked up to Lavi�s bedside. He sat down on
the bed, angled so that he was facing Lavi�s face. Reaching for the book
Lenalee had brought him, that he had promptly put on the
bedside, he decided to pass the time reading. Sighing, he opened the
book to the first page. Yuu found himself drawn immediately into the story. He
knew that Amanda had recommended he read this book and as much as he hated to
admit it, it was interesting.� He was
having trouble understanding the thick description and meandering thought
process of the author. He didn�t realize it, but he had begun to read it aloud in
order to understand better. He also didn�t notice Lavi�s eye becoming more
animated, as if he was actually listening for the first time in weeks.

�� What�s this book
about?� Lavi asked, his voice croaking from disuse. Yuu jumped and dropped the
book. It hit the floor with a soft flopping noise.

�� Lavi?�
He asked tentatively.

�� Yes?� The other
man�s voice was far too chipper for Yuu to be certain he wasn�t dreaming. �

�� Yuu blinked, �Slap
me,� he ordered. Lavi raised his arm as if to comply, but stopped short, gaping
at his heavily bandaged right hand.

�� Eh?!�
He exclaimed, �What the hell happened?� Yuu didn�t respond for a second.

�� Do� you really
not remember?� Lavi expression changed at once, becoming more conservative and nervously
tried to pull on his earring before remembering his hands were bandaged. ��

�� There was
something about a sun.� he said, his voice hesitant
and soft in a way Yuu had never heard Lavi speak before.

�� Nani?� Yuu asked, thoroughly
confused.

�� Yeah, there was
sun, and it was keeping me warm, but then it went away. Then I was cold again.�
Lavi�s speech was very clear, another thing Yuu had never heard before. It was
like Lavi was carefully choosing his words, rather than just saying what he
thought.

�� Lavi paused,
closing his eye for a second. His face gained animation again. Opening his eye,
he flashed Yuu a characteristic bright smile. �Hey Yuu-chan, I�m hungry, let�s
go eat!� His voice was cheerful, boisterous, and it annoyed Yuu as much as it
relieved him.

�� Che,� he scoffed, looking away and buying
time by picking the book up from the ground. �You�re not allowed to have solid
foods, but if you want some soup or something, I can go get you some.� He
cursed inwardly at the caring showing through his voice. He turned around,
cheeks blushing faintly. �Well, I�m hungry, so I�ll be back.� He didn�t want
Lavi thinking he�d been there the whole time, but as he went to move, something
hit the small of his back, as if making to grab his shirt tail. Turning
quickly, he recoiled when he saw Lavi�s expression. The man�s eye was dark and desperate. His features were tight in what
could only be described as acute panic.

�� Don�t
leave,� Lavi half-whispered, his voice strained with the sudden emotion.
Yuu collapsed on the bed, and the last thing he remembered before sleep
overpowered him was his head hitting the softness of Lavi�s green pillow.

�� Immediately, he was back in the garden
outside his house, just like he was every afternoon. His mother was with him,
and he was making little wreaths for her hair out of the lotus flowers that
stood proudly at the edge of their property. She laughed, her voice like chimes
in the wind, and Yuu felt his heart lighten in joy. He loved making his mother
laugh.

�� Yuu!� She called, and he ran to her immediately. �I have to
go inside soon, but promise me you�ll stay outside, okay?�

�� Yuu
nodded his acquiescence and gave his mother a hug and a kiss on the cheek. She
winced slightly, and Yuu frowned. �Are you okay, okaa-san?�

�� She
smiled comfortingly and stroked Yuu�s cheek. �I�m just fine, Yuu, I just slept
funny last night.� Running her fingers through his shoulder-length hair, she
stood up. Her hands trailed reluctantly from the ends of his hair, and she
turned and walked gracefully back into the house, her light yukata
rustling in the wind. Yuu watched her go, hoping his mother would be able to
come back out to play with him later. He looked around for something to do, and
he caught sight of the neighbor�s cat. He chased it around the backyard and
took a lazy nap with it as the evening sun set. At last, his mother called him
inside for dinner, and he went in willingly.

�� They
had sushi that night. Afterward, his mother ran him a bath. He heard the
telltale sounds of his father returning home for the evening, and his mother
left the room, presumably to greet his father. Yuu sighed. He hated it when he
had to wash himself while his parents talked about their day. Today would be
different�he decided that he would take a bath after his father had eaten his
dinner.

�� Walking
to the kitchen, he was surprised when he heard a high whimper of pain. His
heart raced with worry, and he threw the sliding door open. He gasped at the
scene in front of him.

�� His
mother�s white yukata was ripped, and his mother was
draped unceremoniously on top of the table. His father stood over her, his
pants down by his ankles. His father brought up a hand and slapped his mother
hard enough that her neck snapped to the left.

�� Yuu
was frozen, locked in the doorway. He watched, horrified, as his father pounded
mercilessly into his mother. She didn�t make any more noise than small gasps of
pain�that is, until she saw him in the doorway.

�� Yuu,�
she whispered, her voice breaking. Tears formed in her eyes and fell down her
face. His father stopped his movements and followed his wife�s gaze. He pulled
back and grinned predatorily, showing his uneven teeth.

�� Yuuuuu-chaaaan,� he sing-songed. �Why don�t you come over here?�

�� Yuu
was fixed in place, but that didn�t matter, because his father shuffled over to
him, pants dragging on the ground from around his ankles. Yuu�s father grabbed
his shoulders and forced him down�

�� Yuu, Yuu! Dammit, wake up already!� Lavi�s
voice sounded loud enough to drag Yuu gratefully from his dream. He was shaking
heavily, and sweat covered every inch of his body, plastering his hair to his
head and neck. He opened his eyes and saw Lavi disturbingly close to him. He
recoiled as far as he could into the bed, but Lavi was still so close�

�� Arms pulled him up
into a broad chest, and Yuu felt the heavy bandages covering Lavi�s hands on
his back. �Thank God you�re awake, Yuu-chan. You just fell asleep, and then I
wanted to sleep, too, so I lay down,� Lavi gushed. �I didn�t want you to wake
up and leave, though, so I grabbed you, and you were fine, and I was about to
get to sleep when you went all � all rigid! And then you started shaking and
shaking, and if I was stupid, I would�ve thought you were having a seizure, but
you weren�t because you weren�t shaking that
hard. So I tried to wake you up, but you wouldn�t, and why are you so cold? You�re not supposed to be cold! You�re the sun, you�re the only thing keeping me warm!� He broke off
and started gasping wildly. His gasps turned into dry sobs, and eventually real
tears joined them, falling at an alarming rate from Lavi�s uncovered eye.
Frozen in place, Yuu let Lavi wail heavily onto the top of his head. He didn�t
particularly care for the position he was in, but he was too shaken from his
dream to do anything about it. He pushed it into the far depths of his mind,
never wanting to remember it again. He hadn�t thought of that particular time
since it had happened. Besides, Lavi seemed to need him, so he brought his
hands to rest around the other man�s trembling waist.

�� After a while,
Lavi�s tears had calmed, and he was now crying silently, sniffling every now
and then. Yuu looked up into the redhead�s face and noticed a twin tear track
on the right side of Lavi�s face. The redhead only whimpered as Yuu shifted,
leaving the warmth of Lavi�s chest. He pulled the eye patch away from the man�s
face and paused. A faded but mottled scar stretched across his eyelid and up to
his eyebrow. The lowest part of the scar was just above the range of the patch
Lavi wore over it. Peeling back Lavi�s eyelid, he was shocked to see that Lavi
actually had a second eye. He scoffed at himself in his head. Of course he did,
if he had two lines of tears running down his face. It was as green as Lavi�s
other eye, that particular shade of jade-ish emerald
that had unimaginable depths, but it was filmed over. Lavi was obviously blind
in this eye�baka, he wears an eye patch,
he reminded himself�and Yuu found himself wondering what had caused it. He
noticed that Lavi had gone very still and gazed at the rest of his face, trying
to see what had changed. It wasn�t hard to miss�all the life, all the emotion,
had been hidden away somewhere, making his eye the darkest green Yuu had ever
seen.

�� Lavi tried to move
his arm back, but the IV tube snagged on one of the buttons on Yuu�s undone
shirt.

�� This fucking
thing,� Lavi growled and yanked on the snagged tube, ripping the tape and the
needle from his arm. Blood spurted from the vein, but the man took no notice of
the stain that was steadily growing on his green sheets. Yuu pulled away and
grabbed the man�s arm, putting pressure on the wound. Lavi hissed at him, a
deep, guttural noise, and tried to take his arm back, but Yuu was stronger than
the other man. Just in time, it seemed, a knock came on the door and the
British doctor walked in. He paused when he saw the scene before him, but he
hurried into the room after only a moment�s hesitation. Lavi became despondent,
falling limply to the bed when the doctor took his arm from Yuu.

�� What happened?�
The doctor asked as he probed the wound.

�� He woke up,� Yuu
said simply.

�� I can see that,�
the doctor said in a light tone, pulling gauze and disinfectant from the bag he
carried with him. �What else?�

�� Yuu didn�t know
quite how to respond. �He keeps� changing,� he finally said, sighing. He didn�t
know how else to describe it. The doctor nodded, as if he understood
completely.

�� That may happen a
lot; he may be trying to find the personality that is most comfortable. If the
mental trauma he suffered was great enough, he may have completely lost his
sense of �self.�� Yuu stared at Lavi. The doctor had finished wrapping Lavi�s
forearm and turned his attention to the man�s hands. Unwrapping
the bandages, the British man examined the ragged lines of stitches that spread
from the first knuckles of his fingers to his wrists. His hands were swollen
and still caked with blood; the doctor prodded the man�s new metal knuckles,
grunting in concentration.

�� Well, the wounds
are healing nicely, and it feels like the metal is still in place. The stitches
should be able to come out in a few days.� The doctor put new, lighter bandages
on Lavi�s hands, then turning to Yuu again, he said, �Try to get him to move
his hands, and get him to eat something when he wakes up.�

�� Yuu nodded and
helped the man lay Lavi back down on the bed.

---

July 13, 2013�The Dark Order,
Lavi�s Room

�� Birds chirped
happily, fluttering about the window excitedly like the joyous creatures they
were. Everything seemed crisp and neat and full of life. He felt like jumping up and doing a merry dance, but his
atrophied muscles kept him from moving very much. Still, he couldn�t complain,
as everything just felt so� light. He was very warm this morning, a large
contrast to the coldness he had felt the night before. But that didn�t matter
now, because he was so very happy, so very, very happy, and so very full of
love. It was because his sun was sitting in his desk
chair, which was pulled right up next to his bed, asleep. Even better was the
fact that his sun�s hand was resting lightly on his own. He tried to grasp it,
but his hand wouldn�t move. Looking down, he noticed the bandages were much
lighter, but still his hand didn�t move when he tried. He got it to twitch, but
other than that, it did nothing. He grunted in frustration, angry that this was
impeding on his happy day. He had awoken to his sun, and now his body was
malfunctioning!

�� His sun stirred at
the noise and opened his beautiful, dark eyes. They shone brightly with the
reflection of light from the cheery window. Lavi felt all his annoyance melt
away at the uncharacteristically soft face his sun
was making.

�� G�mornin�, Yuuuu!� He said
groggily, a bright, happy smile lighting his face. The man grunted, and Lavi
tasted butter in his mouth. Licking his dry lips, he asked. �What�s fer breakfast?�

�� Toast, if you�re
up for it,� he replied, his voice swathed in some emotion Lavi couldn�t quite
place. Like his sun� was actually caring for him. He knew his sun didn�t like
to show such weak things as caring. Even if he did care.

�� I�d go with ya to get it, but I don�t think I can go that far without collapsin�.� Yuu grunted and nodded in understanding,
sweeping from the room.

�� His sun was gone, but Lavi wasn�t cold. He waited patiently for
Yuu to return, and when he did, laden with a tray of toast and jam, Lavi felt
himself wanting, craving, butter.

�� Did you bring any
butter?� He asked, hoping for an affirmative reply. Yuu looked shocked and
shook his head, blushing slightly. Lavi wondered why, but he refrained from
asking. He wouldn�t get an answer that way. He would need to pay attention to
Yuu�s body language to figure it out. Lavi was alright with that, though. He
loved watching his sun.

�� Sorry. I thought
you liked jam with your toast, so I didn�t think to bring anything else,� Yuu
said, and suddenly, Lavi�s craving disappeared. That voice, that sweet, buttery
voice had completely satisfied his need.

�� Oh, never mind,�
he said nonchalantly. �You just gave me butter, I�m fine now.�

�� What?� Yuu looked
so surprised and confused that Lavi unconsciously moved forward a bit.

�� What?� Lavi asked, surprised at what he had said. Yuu shot him a look that
made Lavi have the urge to throw his arms around the
man and kiss him, and he didn�t refrain.

�� His stomach hit
the tray, upsetting it and throwing the contents to the floor, but he didn�t
care. He flew up to Yuu�s level and knocked the man unsteady as his arms twined
around Yuu�s neck. He pressed his lips hard to Yuu�s. The other man�s mouth
opened in surprise, and Lavi took advantage of that, sliding his tongue
delicately between Yuu�s teeth.

---

July 13, 2013�The Dark Order,
Lavi�s Room

�� Birds chirped
happily, fluttering about the window excitedly like the joyous creatures they
were. Yuu wanted to run them through with Mugen. Damn them for disturbing his
sleep, for waking him. He heard a frustrated grunt and decided it was time to
wake the rest of the way up. Stirring, he opened his eyes. He saw Lavi looking
at him, his left eye a light, joyous green that was deep with an emotion he had
only seen in his mother�s eyes. Only it was slightly different, a different
quality of that emotion.

�� G�mornin�, Yuuuu!� Lavi said
groggily, and Yuu wondered just when the other Exorcist had awoken. Yuu grunted
in response, and Lavi�s expression lit up again. Lavi licked his lips in a way
that made Yuu shiver, and he wondered why. �What�s fer
breakfast?� Lavi asked, distracting him.

�� He wondered what
Lavi liked to eat, and he remembered seeing the other man eating toast quite
frequently. He also tended to go for bacon and eggs, but those were probably
too heavy for the man�s stomach at the moment. �Toast,� he said finally, �if
you�re up for it.� He wasn�t sure why he had tagged that on the end, making it
sound like he cared, which, damn it, he didn�t.
He was just here because Lavi wouldn�t let him leave, like the night before,
when he had been placing one of Lavi�s hands to his side and the other man hand
held onto his hand tightly, reopening the stitches. The doctor had had to redo
them and change the bandages again.

�� I�d go with ya to get it, but I don�t think I can go that far without collapsin�,� Lavi said, reminding Yuu that he was supposed
to be taking care of the stupid, red invalid. He grunted again, this time in
understanding, and he left the room.

�� He reached the
dining hall without incident and got food for both Lavi and himself. He grabbed
a small jar of strawberry jam, the kind he remembered Lavi using on his toast
every morning. Yuu was surprised that he had been that observant about the
other man but brushed the thought off. He had known the guy for years; of course he�d know what the other man ate
for breakfast.

�� He walked back to
the room and was grateful to see Miranda passing through the hallway. When she
saw him carrying the tray of food, she went and opened Lavi�s door for him. He
nodded as a way of thanks and entered the stupid rabbit�s room. As he neared
the redhead�s bed, Lavi asked the strangest question.

�� Did you bring any
butter?� His voice sounded somewhat desperate. Yuu froze. He didn�t think Lavi
had ever had toast with butter. Searching his memories, he found none where
Lavi had ever buttered his breakfast bread. But then, that was only Lavi, and
this man was not completely Lavi. There was something� different about this
particular persona. He wondered if each of Lavi�s personas had its own personal
likes and dislikes, especially with food.

�� Sorry,� he
finally apologized, not knowing what else to say. �I thought you liked jam with
your toast, so I didn�t bring anything else.� Suddenly, Lavi�s expression changed,
and he looked utterly satisfied.

�� Oh, never mind,�
Lavi said, his voice blas�. �You just gave me butter,
I�m fine now.�

�� Yuu had never been
so confused in his entire life. What the fuck
was Lavi talking about? He didn�t understand. �What?� He asked, trying to find
some sort of clarity in the situation.

�� What?� Lavi asked
immediately, looking confused himself. Lavi moved forward, but Yuu didn�t
notice. He was wondering how to respond to that but decided to drop it, as Lavi
seemed as baffled as he was.

�� Then Lavi was
moving, throwing himself at Yuu. The tray was knocked askew, but Yuu couldn�t
do a thing about it, because Lavi�s arms were suddenly around his neck, and
Lavi�s lips were fastened securely on his own. The force of Lavi�s jump knocked
him back a few centimeters, but he steadied himself quickly. Belatedly, he
realized that his mouth was open in shock as Lavi gently and deftly stuck his
tongue into it. Yuu didn�t know how to respond. Something smoldered in the pit
of his stomach, releasing smoke up through his chest and making his heart beat
faster than usual. Lavi moved his lips against Yuu�s, but he still didn�t know
how to respond, opting to stay still. This sensation was so foreign, so different, that it shocked him back into
a memory.

�� Lips. Lips on his lips. They moved to cover his
mouth completely, so his shocked scream couldn�t be heard. Something hard hit
his stomach, and his cheek smarted as something hit that, too. Hands moved down
his sides until they reached the hem of his jinbei. Pain. Agony. Fear.

�� Yuu�s eyes snapped
open, and without thinking, he pushed away the attacker as hard as he could. He
hadn�t been able to fight back then, but he could now, and he needed to get those lips off of him, because
they were suffocating him and making him remember things that were painful,
and�

�� THUMP!

�� Yuu gasped. Why
was Lavi against the wall? His eye gave off a funny emotion, and it teared up
in pain. His face looked like it was in agony, but Yuu was sure that Lavi
didn�t know what agony truly was. He couldn�t turn away from the face, but he
couldn�t stay there, either. He needed to leave, so he backed up, his legs
shaking harder with each step. Lavi�s eye went blank. As if he was released
from a spell, Yuu turned around and dashed through the door, flinging himself
into his room faster than he could slay a Level One Akuma. He managed to make
it to his bed before he blacked out, his mind protecting him from the trauma of
his past.

---

A/N: Yasuo means �kind one.� Ah, irony, we love you so!
Also, the book Yuu was reading was J.R.R. Tolkien�s The Fellowship of the Ring. :D If you want to know what a jinbei is, Wiki
it! (Yay, Wiki!)
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Innocent Rain