White Chocolate

(A/N: this chapter contains death of a minor/original character)

"No Mello!"

"But Matt, you agreed to this, remember?"

"Not my Captain Planet boxers! You can throw out the 1up mushrooms. Hell, take the fucking Metroid ones, just leave that pair alone!"

Mello sighed dramatically, "Matt, the point of having someone else clean out your old clothes is so you don't end up keeping everything! Oh stop whining you big baby."

He did the one thing that I will never be able to fight against; he let his fingers slide over my belly and began tickling me furiously. I bit back a moan and opted to tackle him, grabbing my prize from his hand and rolling over on the carpet between our beds. It was too naïve of me to think he wouldn't retaliate—I mean it's fucking Mello, he wins at everything. I didn't expect him to launch himself on top of me though. Although, I can't say I was opposed to the close contact…until he began tickling me slightly lower than usual…but omyzelda did it feel good to be touched by those hands.

I couldn't risk arousal though…not with him close enough to see, or Midna forbid, feel any ahem, my healthy blood flow to the hea—damnit Matt! Stop thinking about it. Shit…I'm rolling around on the floor with Mello straddling me, wrestling him over a pair of my underwear…. And fuck it all if I don't feel horny as a ram; you would too!

Rap! Tap! Rap! Tap! Tap!

Mello slid abruptly to the right, his golden hair fanning slightly as he swung his gaze towards the door, in time with the creeping of its hinges. As he moved, his knee brushed against my thigh and I bucked involuntarily, causing him to lose balance and fall right onto me, his face mere inches from mine. And those lips…it took every ounce of my willpower not to lean up and close the distance….Rather, I simply stared into his eyes. The deep recesses of those azure marbles…

By the time Roger had the door fully cracked, it was hard to tell who's face displayed the deepest shade of rouge.

"Would you boys care to explain exactly what you are doing?" came Roger's voice, laced with slight bemusement through the frown on his face.

"……." Yeah…what was I supposed to say? Hey, Roger, I was dreamily staring into Mello's face, wondering what it would be like to run my tongue all over him, how was your morning? Bastard!

"We…we were just cleaning, Roger." Mello tried weakly, avoiding looking directly at me.

"And I suppose cleaning generally entails pinning your friend to the floor with your leg on his crotch?"

Oh. My. Mushrooms. Ha! Oh jeeze…fuck. We both looked down and sure enough, Mello's leg was draped across my zipper. He immediately threw himself backwards, creating as much distance between us as the small space between our beds allowed for. I don't think either of us realized it in our umn…ummn…damnit what was I thinking again?

"Mello, there is something I need to discuss with you in my office."

He sprung up, not pausing to pull his shoes on as I think lingering in here any longer would only increase the tension from the last few moments. I hadn't even moved from my position on the floor when I heard him mumble 'See you at breakfast Matty' as the door swung shut behind the two of them.

I just kind of…lay there on the ground. Holy fuck…I pinched my forefinger together with my thumb. It had been that close! That close! Mentally I cursed myself, but in the back of my mind…I knew it was better that nothing had happened. I didn't want to risk another fight like we'd just had…so anything that could jeopardize our friendship was out of the question…I just wish it hadn't seemed so… so much like we really were going to kiss. I want to feel his lips against mine so badly…not the stolen kiss I took while he was sleeping…a real kiss. Damn the world.

I stalked out of the room, heading towards the dining hall. Breakfast would be ready soon and Mello had said we'd meet up there to eat. He wouldn't take forever talking to Roger…Maybe…maybe I could sort some of this out by then. Maybe I could decide if I wanted to do anything about all these feelings inside of me.

"Matt!"

I was nearly at the end of the corridor when I heard the faint voice in my ears.

"Matt!"

I found myself looking down at a small boy with mousy hair. He looked up at me with his large round eyes and a lollipop nestled between his pursed pink lips.

"Matt. Can you help me?" Damn his little kid puppy eyes!

"What's the matter Paul?"

"Zephr went out to make a sculpture really early…and he never came back. We always eat breakfast together! Please, would you go out and get him for me?"

Oh…right. Of all the orphans here, Paul and Z are actually brothers. Go figure.

"Umn…." I looked at him blankly….but damnit…those large brown puppy eyes! Yeah…I'm a sucker, Toadstool be damned. I nodded at him. We walked through the front doors and veered to left, no one was outside this early and the crisp autumn breeze sent a tingle down my back.

We were heading towards the Southern garden, the forest-like expanse of land that surrounded the backside of Wammy's. Most of the younger kids avoided the South garden because it was of little interest to them. Only the older kids and the advanced art students ever spent their free time there; the former to perform sexual acts in the secluded shade of the trees, hidden from prying eyes and the latter for the foundry. But really, only Linda and Z used the foundry. Linda had a strange fascination with bronze sculpture, but Z was the best at casting locks, chains, handcuffs and other strange bondage paraphernalia.

I left Paul at the gate and swung the heavy latch forward. I walked a few feet into the grass and that's when I saw it: blood. The light shone sickeningly off the red drops in the sea of green blades. I glanced out to the grass some meters away, where a trail of bronze and blood led from the foundry. My feet were running even before danger could register in my brain. Kicking the door open, I could feel the instant heat as it licked my skin. There was no in the room…but it was far from empty.

Creating ghostly shadows across the room, a fire flicked in the furnace, the crucible tongs forgotten on the floor. All around the room were scattered and broken molds of clay and other things…the bronze statues cluttered the floor in a mess. That's when I saw the white of bone…

Because there was a severed arm on the floor.

The nausea was almost instantaneous. I was retching on the floor, trying to block out the shoulder blade and bits of muscle that leaked out of the shredded arm… I ran out of the foundry towards the direction of the trees yelling out Zephr's name. And oh did I find him…did I find him….

Running towards the forest was the right direction; there was Z's body lying on the floor between a mossy oak and an azalea bush. Calling his name was fruitless…the boy was dead. Dead. And in pieces.

I could feel the bile rising in my throat, but this time at the fresh sight of him. The meat seemed to slide sickeningly out of his skin, organs trailing out in different directions. Blood streaming, glistening, painting the grass that surrounded. He'd been hollowed out, but that wasn't the worst of it…His wounds were semi-sealed with bronze, long hardened and twisting his body into a grotesque statue. It looked like he'd been in an explosion from the cracked skull and flecks of brain that seeped into a mulch near his…what was left of his ear. His mouth was gaping, contorted into a shriek, the bronze forever capturing the agonizing howl that would never vocalize from those charred and bleeding lips.

But the last image I saw before my world fell into black were the empty sockets of his eyes. Gauged and seeping squished remnants of the jellied orbs, they were reservoirs of blood…drowning…filling with the after effects of hemorrhaging. The gaunt, soul-less pits were etched in my mind as my world fell into blackness…as I lost my consciousness entirely…

.........///////////////........

I was in the infirmary, on a long white hospital bed, the incandescent lights nearly blinding in unappealing geometric arrangements on the ceiling. A dull throb surged through the right side of my body and I tried to sit up, but I felt a wave of nausea hit me. I closed my eyes, a groan, escaping my mouth, but I couldn't shake the horrible memory…Z's empty sockets haunted me every time I closed my eyes.

I blinked to find Mello's hand around mine, fingers tightly intertwined as he leaned into the bed, nearly scooping me into his lap. And I clutched him as he held me and rocked me. He just felt safe, holding me against his chest with his legs partially wrapped around my side, whispering into my ear that everything was going to be okay. Even when I stopped shaking and the tears stopped rolling down my cheeks, he didn't move and neither did I.

"You really scared me, Matty." His voice was half-choked with worry and relief.

"Wh…oh Mello!"

"Shh….don't try to speak. I know what you saw. You've been in the infirmary for three days because you got a concussion from hitting your head."

Right…I remember vaguely…I think I slipped on something…

"Mello…" I whispered. He simply wasn't close enough, and he wouldn't be until he could drive the trauma from my mind. I buried myself in his chest; he smelled like chocolate…and safety.

He captured my hands in his and clasped them together, nuzzling his nose into my neck…

"Mello!" a voice broke our rhythmic breathing. A hand pulled back the curtain that surrounded my little white bed, exposing us to the rest of the bleached infirmary.

"Mello! I've got the results from the luminal testing. I can't find Near so I thought you'd be able to decipher…" The girl stopped cold. I looked at her. Mint Dandy was her name, she stood fairly short with blond pigtails pulled in braids, away from her eyes. She was drowning in an oversized white coat, its pockets overflowing with strange little trinkets and devices. Mint's hands fell limply to her sides as she stared at us.

"Oh" she said simply, her face turning scarlet, "Umn…I didn't know that the two of you were…umn…uh…that close!"

"What do you mean?" Mello said quietly, his back arching slightly in defense.

"Well it's just that…friends don't usually hug quite that…intimately. I umn..I didn't mean anything by it Mello."

"Matt is my family, Mint Dandy, and I will touch him however I fucking want to!" Almost to prove his point, he shifted a little to pull me completely into him and kissed the top of my head, "And if you happened to forget, he fucking saw Z's brains spilling out of his head."

Oh damn it I am so fucking confused! I want to cry and scream. Oh wow…the way we must have looked. Mello and I were wrapped around each other in what probably showed as a lover's embrace. Everything in me screamed that I wanted this attention…and yet I wanted to disappear. I am a sick bastard, is what I am. What kind of person am I? I feel fucking sick to my goddamn stomach. When I close my eyes I see pools of blood and charred masses of bronze and liquid forever sealing away Z's life. But there's this angel caressing me and whispering that it will be alright. I want to disappear into the strength of his arms…I want to believe the words that Mello is saying right now… I want them to be more than words themselves. I want to drown myself in their security. I want…oh fucking shit damn it!

Mello was still talking but the world was swirling around me…fading into black again. Mint Dandy fuzzed into a dizzying mass and I was slumping against Mello…falling…falling….against a pit of black.

........//////////...........

I was at a table, sitting down, an envelope in my hand. The center was dominated by a looping and elegant M. As I looked up, I saw the pale face of Near, seated at the other end of the table. He was dangling a key in front of me. I watched as it slid down clinking noisily against the deep mahogany but the table metamorphosed into glass. Near and I looked down through the glass and I could see a room that was quickly filling with blood…and in the middle of the room was an L…except it wasn't an L…it was Z's body shaped like a letter L…

Shaped like an L… And that's when it hit me…Z's strangely contorted body was shaped like an L…

Near. Key. L's instructions…

........////////////..........

"Mello!" I cried out, waking up from my dream and wiping my eyes in the sudden light of the infirmary.

"Mello," I choked out, "You have to find the letter! L gave me a letter that I wasn't supposed to read unless something happened to you, but I want to read it now. I want to know what it said, because Near and I were supposed to work on a mission together."

"Matt!" Said Roger. "What are you talking about?"

I glanced around to see Mello nowhere in sight. Roger had replaced him at my bedside and he was now furrowing his brow in worry.

"Roger…L gave Near and I a mission…" I looked at him squarely in the eyes. " and I think Zephr's death might be related to it."

"Matt," Roger said gravely."L has not set foot in this institution in years."

He regarded me carefully, as if the words I had spoken were flames that he could be caught in.

"What do you mean L hasn't set foot in here? I saw him. I talked to him! Mello saw him!" I was shouting now. None of it made sense. None of it made one shake of fucking sense.

Like déjà vu, the curtain around us was pulled back roughly and Linda entered our little space.

"Roger! Roger! Near's gone! And we found this in his room." She doubled over breathlessly and with effort showed us a robot toy in her hand…A robot toy that was smeared in blood…blood that spelled out one single letter.

L