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Fever Dreams	By : sashocirrione Category: Death Note > Yaoi-Male/Male > L/Light Views: 2733 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, and I do not make any money from these writings.

Chapter List
- 6
- 7
- 8
CHAPTER 7
When Matsuda heard L tell him it wasn't a rape, his face relaxed a little, but still looked extremely worried. L tried his best to ignore Matsuda, and instead clung to Light, covering up their near-nudity by pulling the blankets very closely around the huddled mass of their bodies. Light was still inside him, but no longer hard, and where their bellies were pressed together it was sticky.
L felt very languid and pleased. The soft weight of Light's body was comforting, relaxing, warm skin against skin. The side of Light's head was pressed against the side of his own head, Light's chin on his shoulder, Light's breath tickling the back of his neck. The wetness of the water that had been dumped on them made L shiver, made him want to snuggle even deeper into Light's warm grasp. L still felt slightly ill, and being wrapped in wet blankets wasn't a good situation for that.
He knew what was going to happen next, but he tried not to think about it, to simply exist in the moment, to feel Light's body gently breathing against his body. Still, L was already thinking about the next time. There would be a next time, he was sure of that. Light was obviously enthusiastic, and there was no way to keep two consenting adults away from each other for too long.
And, L reflected, he was turning into quite a sex maniac himself. Sex felt better than he had ever thought it would; it was like being introduced to sweet foods for the first time, there was an urge to overindulge and never look back. The weight of years of celibacy was pressing on him, driving him forward to explore this new realm of experience. In certain ways, L felt as if it were like any other field of knowledge he'd tried to master. Sex was something that had now sparked his curiosity, caught his attention, and things like that were subjects that L pursued quite vigorously, relentlessly, until he was sure he knew all he needed to know.
Then, L's moments of reflection were over as Watari rushed into the room, not squeamish at all, wasting no time in pulling the blankets away and prying the two men out of each other's arms. Light's pajama top hung on the chain between them.
L curled up and shivered, saying, "Watari, that wasn't necessary. Light didn't hurt me, and I consented."
Watari held up some pepper spray. He said, "We will talk about this in the morning. I will stay with you two the rest of the night, and if Light makes any moves, he'll get a face full of pepper spray."
L curled up further, pulling his shirt down as far as it would go, shivered, and said, "I'm cold."
Watari said, "Matsuda, I will take them to the shower. You should clean up their bed and put dry sheets and blankets on it."
Matsuda looked extremely disturbed and said, "I don't want to clean that up!"
Watari replied, "It's your fault that mess was created! Get to work."
Watari unlocked the handcuffs and L slipped out of his handcuff quickly. He was feeling sicker than he had all night, truly starting to shake from the cold. Still, he kept an eye on Light. Kira only did things when Light wasn't being properly watched. In a few moments, Watari was pulling off L's wet shirt and wrapping a warm, soft blanket around him, and then herding both young men toward the bathroom. L glanced behind once and saw Matsuda wearing rubber gloves, plucking reluctantly at the blankets.
Watari turned on the shower and carefully adjusted the temperature. While Watari's back was turned, L sank to the floor, still wrapped in his blanket, and rested his head against the wall. Having cold water dumped on him right after an adrenaline high had burned out his body's resources was making him feel really sick again. His skin had a slight burning sensation, he was trembling, and it felt so good just to slump nervelessly against the wall, wrapped in a soft blanket. He happened to catch Light's eye, and the two shared a knowing glance. L felt a silly smile trying to spread itself across his face. It was fun to be so naughty.
Then Watari said, "Ryuzaki, I know you don't want to let Light out of your sight, and I agree with your reasons, but there will not be anything happening in the shower, and the two of you should face in different directions."
L shed his blanket and weakly crawled to the double-wide shower he'd had built especially for the two of them. It was odd, thinking of how many times they'd showered here before, with nothing happening, and now they were lovers - yes, lovers - and nothing was going to happen again. It felt so unusual to think of having a lover, but that's what Light was, right? When you had sex with someone more than once, and planned to again, that person was your lover.
L knew it was strange and wrong for the world's greatest detective to take as a lover the prime suspect for being the greatest mass-murderer in history, someone who habitually killed a normal serial killer's allotment in just one day. It wasn't acceptable, even for someone like Watari who was familiar with L's unorthodox methods. L knew he'd face an onslaught of questions and accusations in the morning.
L placed himself in a corner, directly under a warm spray, crouching and leaning against the shower wall, not cleaning himself but merely enjoying the heat and the steam working its way into his muscles, gradually driving out the feeling of being sick. He tried to think. Now, more than ever, he needed to think to stay one step ahead of Kira. If L made one mistake, allowed himself to relax at the wrong moment, then this sexual relationship could be the means of his downfall instead of an improved way to keep Kira under close observation.
But, things had become very confusing lately. Kira was suddenly displaying powers he'd never displayed before. The attack on the headquarters was full of events unlike anything they'd seen before in the Kira case. Had Kira suddenly gained new powers, or had these powers been present but hidden all along? It was true that Kira liked to hide his abilities. At first, Kira had hidden the fact that he could control the time of death. Then, he'd hidden that he could control the actions before death. And, until they'd begun pursuing the Yotsuba Kira, they hadn't realized that Kira could kill with methods other than a heart attack. Little by little, Kira was revealed as having more powers than previously believed. How many more unexpected abilities did Kira have?
But, before the attack on headquarters, it all made much more sense. With each of those abilities, you could look back through criminal death reports and see examples of how Kira had been using them all along. In the time when it wasn't known that Kira killed with methods other than heart failure, there was an unnatural spike in criminal deaths from illness and accidents, but this happened only with minor criminals.
Kira was obviously trying to bring public opinion to his side by only overtly killing the worst criminals, while he secretly executed many minor criminals as well, but only those he judged as being especially harmful. If the public had known about all the criminal deaths, there wouldn't be so many Kira supporters. It was easy to cheer Kira for killing murderers and rapists, but when he killed blackmailers, smugglers or non-lethal robbers, it was more difficult.
And, as far as controlling criminal actions went, there were tests other than the ones that had been left as frustrating puzzles for L. In particular, there had been a large number of deaths of minor criminals in Light's local area from causes other than heart failure shortly before Raye Penber's death, and all these criminals had acted erratically before their deaths. They were obviously the secret tests, the ones L wasn't supposed to know about, for pulling off whatever trick had been done with Raye Penber. Since they were minor criminals, their actions wouldn't be noticed much except by local news, certainly not by L since they didn't die of heart failure, and since it all happened in Light's area, the results of his experiments would be in his local paper.
But, the new abilities that had been displayed with the attack on headquarters were different. There was no evidence that Kira had possessed those abilities all along. If Kira had been able to destroy evidence so completely whether he was in the building or not, and if he had been able to selectively erase things from the investigators' memories, then the entire Kira case should have shown different patterns much earlier. So, the logical conclusion was that these were new abilities, or possibly that the attack had been made by a new Kira with greater abilities, just as the second Kira had been more powerful than the first.
And then, there were the disturbing hints contained in the now-destroyed video from Higuchi's car, the hints that suggested Kira's power came from making deals with a supernatural creature - a shinigami - and that at least one upgrade to that power was possible - gaining the ability to kill with merely a face instead of requiring both a face and a name. Were other power upgrades possible? If they were, did that explain the attack that had happened at headquarters?
But there had to be serious drawbacks to these power upgrades, or else Higuchi, and other Kiras, would have obtained them quickly instead of waiting until late in the game. What kind of drawback was so serious that even someone with Higuchi's brainpower wouldn't take it until it was clear his life was in serious danger?
If Light had suddenly gained new powers, and had paid a terrible price to obtain them, then he was an extremely powerful and desperate enemy. The situation was quite dangerous and there might not be any way to gain ground against Light. L adjusted his position and looked up at Light, watching him vigorously wash every bit of his skin, covered with suds that were gradually flowing down his body and to the bottom of the shower, ultimately swirling around the drain.
Light was scrubbing himself as if he had something to prove, as if he wanted L to feel completely comfortable putting his tongue anywhere on Light's ultra-clean body. Images of sex, of skin and tongues and warm wet friction, were suddenly spilling into L's mind, but he forced them out and considered Light as merely a person, a suspect. Light was the best candidate they'd ever come up with for the original Kira. Too many clues pointed to Light for them to be easily brushed aside as coincidences.
Yet, it was also true there had never been anything conclusive on Light. It was different with the other two Kira suspects. With Higuchi, he had confessed to being Kira while on the date Misa had with him. The confession was on that recorded half of a conversation they all remembered hearing but that had been destroyed in the massive data deletion. And, Higuchi's desperate actions to try to kill Matsuda had pretty much proved he was Kira, even though they didn't know how Higuchi killed. So, the evidence in Higuchi's case was conclusive, or nearly so. Unless his actions had been controlled before his death to make it appear he was the third Kira, then he was the third Kira.
The evidence for Misa would be conclusive in any normal case, but the Kira case was far from normal. She had sent those videos into Sakura TV. Not only did lots of physical evidence tie her to them, but she'd also admitted to sending them in, though she'd claimed they were poltergeist hoax videos she'd made with a friend and had nothing to do with Kira. Strange, though, that only her friend's fingerprints had been on them, and not her own. Even so, it was enough evidence that if L had presented it to Interpol, he could have easily gotten her executed as the second Kira. He still could, if he wanted to.
But, the case for Misa being the second Kira was so obvious that L didn't want to believe it, or rather, he didn't want to believe that he'd truly uncovered the truth about Misa. Her bizarre claims, her sudden personality change, and the way she seemed completely oblivious to blurting out things that should be incredibly incriminating pieces of evidence, such as seeing Light for the first time in Aoyama, all added up to a considerable puzzle.
L didn't take the easy way out on cases. Whenever he encountered a puzzle, he kept investigating until he found a true answer. But, in Misa's case, further investigation didn't yield a single additional clue, except perhaps her suspicious ability to go directly to the Yotsuba Kira out of seven possible candidates and immediately get a confession. Why hadn't the first half of that conversation been recorded? Did it hold any clues?
So, the case for Misa being the second Kira was mostly conclusive, but it still held too many mysteries for L to be comfortable in handing her over to Interpol. She may have been controlled by the original Kira, or tricked in some way. Previous to Misa, it had seemed that Kira could only control the actions leading up to death. Otherwise, the case should have shown much different patterns.
Yet, if Kira could control people without later revealing they'd been controlled by the fact that they would die, there were countless schemes that could have been launched, that rightly should have been launched, especially if Kira were someone as smart as Light Yagami. But, no such patterns were evident. And, Misa hadn't died, which didn't make sense regardless of how you looked at it. Either Misa should have died because she'd been controlled, or she should have died because, as a rather stupid second Kira, she was a tremendous liability to the original Kira. A live Misa was simply nonsensical regardless of whether you considered her innocent or guilty.
But, there was a theory that explained some of the nonsense. L had come up with the theory that Kira's power passed from person to person, and when you lost the power, you also lost your memories of using the power. That theory would fit perfectly with the patterns of behavior he'd seen in both Light and Misa, and it would mean Light was the original Kira and Misa the second Kira. It also tied into something in one of the videos sent by the second Kira, mentioning "sharing the power" with those people found worthy of passing Kira's judgments on criminals.
The question, then, was whether the power, and the act of giving it up, was voluntary or not. L was pretty sure from examining the facts of the case that it had to be voluntary, but to confirm his own thoughts he'd had Light himself, in his innocent phase, deduce the same thing. Furthermore, Light had deduced not only that giving up the power had to be voluntary, but that, if he had been Kira, he would have arranged some way for the power to return to him after his name had been cleared. Light's deduction made L more sure that his own deduction was correct, and it also confirmed that Light strongly believed he wasn't Kira - or else he never would have made such a damning admission.
But now, it did seem as if Kira had controlled the entire investigation team. There were specific holes in everyone's memories, just as there had been with both Light and Misa. Did that mean everyone would die? No, L felt strongly that wasn't the case. If they had been slated to die, they would probably already be dead instead of continuing to work against Kira, or if they were left alive, they would be controlled into doing things that obviously benefited Kira.
Furthermore, even though everyone thought they'd been controlled, there wasn't any actual evidence that they had been. There was a very specific kind of memory loss, but nothing else. Nobody's fingerprints had been found on the destroyed cameras or in any of the other places they should be if investigation team members had carried out the attack on their own headquarters. So, either Kira had controlled someone with Wedy's level of skill to enter the building and carry out the attack, or Kira had somehow done it with his new supernatural powers. Which he could apparently operate inside the investigation building even when he was asleep in bed at home.
No, what had happened to the investigation team did not resemble what happened to Kira's controlled victims. It resembled what had happened to Light and Misa. Specific areas of memory loss, relating to how Kira's power worked. L was sure he had once known how Higuchi killed. The others were sure too. Yet, somehow, they didn't know that fact any longer. Suddenly, L's breathing sped up and he turned his face into the corner of the shower to hide the flash of insight showing on his expression.
Was it possible? Had Kira somehow forced each of them to receive Kira's power and then give it up? If it were true, it was a very simple and elegant solution to the puzzle. It fit so well that L almost didn't want to believe it. It could be another misleading clue left by Kira, a strategy of which Kira was very fond. Kira gaining a new power of selective memory erasing was also a viable answer, though it didn't explain - yet - why Kira chose to erase the specific things he had erased, some of which were pointless. Furthermore, why didn't Kira erase more than he had?
The idea of each investigator briefly having Kira's power would be very difficult to prove, even to L himself. The most obvious problem was how Light had managed to do it while ill in bed and still chained, rooms or even floors away from the investigators who were receiving and then giving up Kira's power. And, how had Light managed to get each one of them to give up that power? A strong threat would probably be required, but how had Light conveyed that threat? There were many difficulties with that theory.
So, now there were three theories about the attack on headquarters. The one most of the investigators had, which was probably not true, was that Kira had controlled them in a similar way to the victims he usually killed. The second theory was that Kira had gained a new power of selectively erasing portions of other people's memories, or that possibly a new Kira with this power had attacked headquarters. The third theory was that Kira had forced each of them to accept and then give up the power to kill with merely a face and a name.
In any of those cases, Kira probably had gained some new powers. The sudden fires that destroyed both copies of Wedy's video were proof of that. Could Kira view and hear things that were happening remotely from him? In that case, no meetings were truly secret, and it would be incredibly difficult to get any evidence on him. He would short-circuit any plan that was set in motion to catch him, without seeming to have anything to do with the things that had gone wrong. Sending him away was not an option for freeing the investigation from his influence, because he'd managed to create utter chaos at headquarters while he was unquestionably home.
L watched the suds spiraling around the drain and going down it. He was struck by a desire to push the suds into patterns, to stack puffs of suds on top of other puffs of suds, even though he knew it was illogical to want it; it simply wasn't possible. Suds on a shower floor weren't like pieces of candy or empty coffee-creamer cups, you couldn't force order on them. The blobs of suds were too amorphous and they would continue washing away despite how L might try to poke them into patterns. His object-stacking urge was all part of his need to understand and order everything, ranging from the insignificant to the truly monumental. L wanted to exist in a world of known facts and logical patterns. What if the Kira case was like those suds? Never solid, always swirling and retreating away? Impossible to put into any kind of order?
If he was going to catch Kira, if he was going to prove any of his theories, he'd need to find solid physical evidence or set a trap that even Light couldn't figure out, and he'd need to do it right under Light's nose, while Light was on the end of a chain and seemingly had the ability to look into other rooms and listen in on secret plans. It would be incredibly difficult. Who knew what new abilities Light had acquired, or how many more powers he might suddenly gain if he became desperate enough? Was it even possible to catch Kira under these circumstances?
Then L reminded himself he'd faced similar daunting challenges all along the course of chasing Kira. It had always been nearly impossible, and yet he'd made steady progress, accumulating more clues even if he couldn't prove much. No, the only course of action was to play dumb a little bit - not too much, or Light might see through the act - and continue pursuing as many leads as possible. Something would turn up, and Kira's reaction to that new evidence - probably to attempt to destroy it - would reveal more about the situation, or possibly create an opportunity to set a trap for Light. The evidence did exist, the proof was possible to obtain, or else Kira wouldn't have felt the need to make an attack on headquarters. Kira was scared, and that meant L might win.
L looked up at Light, considering him. Was he truly Kira? There was perhaps a five percent chance he wasn't. There was more fueling L's suspicion than just the solid evidence that pointed at Light. It was also L's profiling ability, his talent for reading people. Light fit the Kira profile perfectly, in everything from being a high school student when the Kira murders had started to his extremely high intelligence and his exact sense of justice. Light was proud and childish and obsessed with perfection, and he did not look kindly on criminals. He had no compassion for them. Light and Kira matched so perfectly that L's gut told him there had to be something there, especially with all the clues that pointed at Light.
Furthermore, L was able to read people's reactions with enormous accuracy. It had helped him on case after case, and he knew he had good reasons to believe in his ability. Except for the time when Light had seemingly been without his Kira memories, L had always detected a phony quality to Light, as if everything he did were a carefully designed act. And, during the time Light seemed to have his Kira memories, Light had reacted to everything just as Kira should, with a nervousness that only L could detect when Kira should be worried, and with a teasing, taunting behavior whenever Light could afford to do so without leaving any clues, just like the childish, maddening behavior of Kira.
If Light wasn't Kira, then he was connected to the original Kira somehow. L had rigorously investigated everyone associated with Light and hadn't come up with any likely candidates for Kira. So, either it was someone with such an obscure connection with Light that even L hadn't managed to dig it up yet, or Kira really was a hidden puppet-master working from far behind the scenes, using extremely elaborate ploys and using Light as a randomly-selected scapegoat. If Light's extreme personality change hadn't been due to Light erasing his own memory, then it was possible Light wasn't Kira. It was only a five percent chance, but it was possible. And, that innocent version of Light had been a nice person, someone L genuinely liked, someone he found pleasant, even exciting, to work with.
For a moment, as L gazed up at Light's nude form covered with suds and streams of warm water, he allowed himself to hope it wasn't so, that Light wasn't Kira and they'd catch the real original Kira and have some kind of future together. Then he squashed the hope, buried it deep inside. That kind of hope could kill him easily. It wasn't worth risking his life for a small hope like that. He had to remain utterly committed to digging up the complete truth about Light and Kira, not allowing his feelings to make him deviate from his purpose even a tiny amount. Kira's profile indicated someone who would kill even friends and family members without any hesitation. Light was not a safe person to put any hope in.
Watari said, "Ryuzaki, are you warm enough now? Do you need help cleaning yourself? I can bring in Matsuda for that."
Watari, as usual, had read his face perfectly, had seen when L was deep in thought and should not be disturbed, and had also seen the moment he'd come to the end of his train of thought.
L sighed and stood up, getting some soap from his side of the shower and beginning to scrub. That one theory was very intriguing - had each of them possessed Kira's power briefly? As L continued to scrub, and then exited the shower, dried himself and then went to bed with Light and the chain once more, he carefully turned over various plans in his mind for testing each of the three theories he currently had - especially the two he considered most likely. Light quickly went to sleep beside him with a serene expression on his face, as if he were completely unaware of all the plotting being done against him. And, Watari sat by the bed the rest of the night with a can of pepper spray ready. He didn't need it. Light didn't try anything at all.
- 6
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- 8
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Fever Dreams