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Alternate Tracks 2nd Story in Rivalry Series	By : kurahieiritrJIO Category: +G to L > Initial D Views: 2560 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Initial D, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 6
- 7
- 8
CHAPTER 7

"Nani are you thinking about, space case?" Keisuke spoke softly next to his ear. With a startled yelp Takumi jumped as his thoughts scattered. A strong arm wrapped around him from the side to stabilize him as Takumi placed a hand over his flip-flopping heart. The spicy scent unique to the man he was considering enveloped his senses. Keisuke's body cradled his as the blond's other arm wrapped around his stomach to haul him back onto his perch. The weight of the blond's solid arm around his torso calmed some turmoil he felt.

Takumi looked up at the spiky-haired racer. Keisuke wore a dark brown button up with short sleeves, and buff colored cargo pants. In the afternoon light the dark coffee shirt accentuated his medium blond hair, cerulean eyes, and classic features. Seeing him in something was strange other than a hooded shirt, but Takumi truly liked the change.

"Keisuke-san, . . . uh, well . . ." He felt heat rise from his toes to infuse his face while trying to regain his composure.

"You've even reverted to using san in private. Now I know something's wrong." Keisuke's breath teased his ear. "I pulled in without you noticing, so I know you have something on your mind, Takumi. With a scowl like that, I hope I can cheer you up."

Pulse shooting into the full-throttle range, Takumi leaned into his companion's hold. The blond's smell was magnetic enough to draw him into his embrace and hold Takumi there despite being a muggy day. The teen closed his eyes as he inhaled the essence that intoxicated his senses. Here was more concrete evidence that all he felt for Keisuke was anything but platonic, or friendship-oriented.

'When during the last seven weeks did I start wanting to always be with Keisuke? Even his smell makes me want to get closer and never let him go.'

The teen's headache gave him several vicious twinges in a row. Takumi winced, and rubbed his tight forehead. "Don't worry about it. I'll sort it out."

Keisuke's voice dropped to a deep, husky purr. "Need any help? I'd be happy to lend a hand."

Takumi snapped, "You do have a way of sidetracking things."

"Whoa, nani's the matter? It's not like you to growl when I tease you, Takumi." Keisuke pulled his chin up with his right hand. "Did you forget to eat before you came up here? Is that the reason you're so cranky, or is it another headache, Takumi?"

"I promised I wouldn't skip meals, and I haven't. Gomen for snarling at you, Keisuke." Takumi cringed. "Headache's making me cranky."

"Nani happened to have you this upset, Takumi? It's obvious that you're really angry. Something started your headache. So, don't try to avoid telling me about it. Was it your ex again?"

"Hai. I fought with Mogi again. It was the same as always, so drop it!"

Keisuke's arms tightened around him. The emotional strength that his older partner radiated, seeped into Takumi's core. Keisuke's presence comforted him as he was drawn against the larger man's chest. Takumi hoped the answer would suffice. "Damn! When's she gonna give up?" Keisuke muttered.

"I don't know. She won't stop calling to beg me to forgive her and take her back. It's always the same exact argument." Takumi turned his face into Keisuke's chest. He wrapped his arms around the blond's waist as his emotions began to settle.'This feels so right. I know you love me, and I need you, Keisuke. I wish this could be where I'll always belong.' Takumi's thoughts reached toward the man holding him.

"I was there when you told her you were seeing someone else and weren't going to change your mind the first time. Didn't Mogi listen to anything you said?"

Takumi grumbled, "I can't make her hear things she doesn't want to accept, Keisuke. She twists things I say to fit her ideas. My problem saying things right just makes this problem worse."

"Damned onna's become a royal pain in both our necks."

"Gomen for causing more problems." The teen felt drained from his internal wrestling match to name his emotions. The solid form that cradled him was a god-sent gift. Takumi felt Keisuke bury his face in his hair as a hand cradled his head.

'Does Keisuke understand that I need him right now? When he holds me, it soothes my nerves. Keisuke's arms are a refuge that I didn't know I needed until he wrapped me inside them. Now, I need this connection so much that I'm afraid. If he disappears too, . . . I can't handle it happening again.'

Takumi exhaled softly. His frenzied emotions were calming, yet the notion of Keisuke leaving kept him nervous. He rested against the man holding him, and let Keisuke's closeness give comfort. Keisuke's soft voice flowed over him. "Don't apologize, Takumi. You've got every right to be angry. Mogi played you for a fool, and seems determined to do it again."

"Anger isn't the problem. Worry is. Mogi's obsessed with proving to me that she can change into someone else. I feel like an ass-hole because I can't say things in a way that won't hurt her any worse, Keisuke. Mogi even offered to quit university and return, or anything else I wanted. She said she was willing to prove that she can love me better as she put it. Mogi has herself convinced that if she's miserable, that'll prove she loves me."

Keisuke's body went rigid. "Your ex is coming back?"

Takumi lifted his head to look at his alarmed partner. "I told her not to, Keisuke. She's not going to quit college because she knows I'll get mad as hell if she does. It hurts to think about her offering to do something that cruel to herself to convince me that she's sincere."

Keisuke's palpable relief washed over him as he felt the blond's arms relax around him. Takumi let his head fall back against the comfort of Keisuke's chest. "Takumi, even if Mogi was too young to get a part time job when her affair started, she chose to go along with her Benz-daddy's agenda in the end."

"She claims she didn't know anything else she could do. Her Papa stepped in several times to save her family, Keisuke. I'm not sure she had another way to repay such a huge debt." Takumi heard the exhaustion in his own voice. He grasped that much about Mogi's affair once he thought about the kinds of surgeries, and long term hospital care Mogi's mother had needed. The price tag was staggering.

"She could have tried to change things when she got old enough to seek part time employment, Takumi. Even if she felt compelled to do something, she could have found another way to repay him. It might have taken her whole lifetime, but I doubt she even talked to him about her options."

"Didn't cross my mind to ask her if she tried talking to her Papa about making any other arrangements."

"You were adamant that you wouldn't let money become part of our relationship's foundations. You'll still insist on paying for yourself to keep money out of the picture. I believe your ex girlfriend could have done things differently too."

"I've got more options than Mogi has, Keisuke. Men can do jobs that onnas can't. Tough jobs that require brute strength pay better than cashier or waitress jobs."

The rumble of Keisuke's voice under his cheek soothed his emotions. "Even if she couldn't find another way to repay her Papa, she should've leveled with you, Takumi. By keeping something that major to herself, she proved that she's a selfish liar. You wouldn't have dumped her if you had known the truth. I'm certain you would've helped her get out of trouble. Her calls tear you up so much because you can't do anything for her."

"Mogi and I could talk so I thought I could love her when we started hanging out. I liked her personality. . . . She was unpredictable at times. Being around her was always fun. She kept things interesting. Now that I know she was smiling when she was miserable, I can't hate her for hiding her problems. Wish I knew how to help her get her life together."

'I don't want to talk about Mogi anymore. Keisuke will get a lot madder if I don't shut up because he's a devoted and jealous person. I don't know the words that will keep Keisuke from having another fit over Mogi's harassment if I tell him her newest verbal jabs. I can't get Mogi's claim that I'm using Keisuke out of my head.'

Keisuke sighed, rustling Takumi's hair. Obvious relief tinged his voice. "Sounds like you've decided that you didn't love her after all."

"Look, I got attached to Mogi because I could talk to her. That's different from falling in love with her. I really like her as a person, but, I'm not going to say I feel something I don't. I could relax around Mogi which was great. In highschool, I thought our friendship would become the foundation for a long term commitment. At least I thought it was worth trying to build something long term until I found out she was lying."

"I hope you feel you can relax with me." Keisuke's voice wrapped him in warmth as the blond's insecurity came through in his tone.

"I'm talking, aren't I?" Takumi felt a flash of wry amusement as he answered the unspoken question underlying Keisuke's question. "Trying to figure out how to stop driving you crazy is also on my mind. I'll keep thinking of ways stop my panics. Hopefully, I'll find the right way soon. Driving you insane is wrong."

"Funny, I thought you were a complete wreck when I arrived. I'm not going to qualify for a psychiatric ward any time soon. Who's the more likely candidate for a psychiatrist? I'm used to being turned on by men and onnas. You're still trying to shift gears from noticing cute onnas only, to dating another man and liking it." Amusement laced Keisuke's tone as he said the last. Takumi knew he was trying to lighten his mood.

"True. Wish I could stop worrying about everything. I don't want Mogi to backslide into subsidy dating just because I can't love her the way she wants, Keisuke. It feelss awful how I, I'm hurting you every time I panic too."

"If Mogi subsidizes again, she never intended to change, Takumi. Mogi screwed you over by lying to you. She hurt you a hell of a lot more that you could ever hurt her. She was selfish enough to latch onto you, and keep her Benz Papa on the side as if you didn't have any feelings. You weren't responsible for her decisions then, or now. Stop blaming yourself for things that haven't even happened. Give yourself a break about your panic attacks because I know you're trying to get used to things that are way outside your comfort zone."

"I'm trying, Keisuke. Look, Mogi made a really harsh accusation today. I can't stop thinking about it since I thought she understood me better than she does."

"How bad was her accusation, Takumi?" Keisuke leaned back a bit, pulling Takumi's face up by his chin, and frowned down at him as he forced eye contact.

"Forget it. You'll flip out on me. It's not that big a deal. I'm still shocked is all. I'll come to terms with Mogi not knowing me like I thought she did since I've known her since middle school."

"I'll keep my cool. Sounds like you really need to get it off your chest before it eats you alive. Let me be here for you when you need me. Don't stuff things, Takumi."

Looking into dark blue orbs, Takumi pondered whether telling this volitile man the part that had made him a basket case was wise. He sighed with the knowledge that Keisuke would badger him. "She made it sound like I'm using you."

"How did she imply you're using me?" Tension throbbed in Keisuke's tone, but he did not seem angry, . . . yet.

"Mogi said she knows she was wrong, and deserves to suffer for her actions. She thinks I'm only dating you because I'm still mad at her over her Benz Papa."

"Nani?" Keisuke jerked back. He looked like he was ready to break something. "Where in the hell did she come up with such a stupid idea?!"

Takumi shook his head. He refused to tell Keisuke she decided such because he had not told her pointedly that he was in love with Keisuke. His poorly phrased attempt to explain how he knew she did not love him had backfired. That piece of information would definitely make things much worse. Keisuke's eyes glittered with fire as they narrowed.

'Like I thought, telling him was a very bad idea. I should have kept my mouth shut about Mogi's accusation, but I really can't understand where she got the idea that I could do something that cruel. Damn, there goes any hope of getting Keisuke's thoughts. He's too made to think straight now.'

Takumi's temples throbbed in time to his accelerating heartbeat. He felt his shoulders tighten even more. Keisuke's frame was shaking with suppressed fury. The teen held onto his waist to keep Keisuke from pulling away. Takumi heard fierce undercurrents in Keisuke's voice. "This shit's the main reason I hate the low profile that we have to keep! Damn it, I really want to give that irritating little bitch a reality check."

"Keisuke, onegai, . . . calm down."

"How the hell could she say shit like that to you? We're together because we belong together! That damned little bitch has a pretty low opinion of you."

"Keisuke, stop! Calm down! Mogi may get even crazier before she gives up. I won't change my mind, even if she guilt trips me. I'm not taking her back. I'm where I belong and I know it!"

A hand rose, and slid into his hair as Keisuke nuzzled the top of his head. The blond's other arm wrapped around Takumi's shoulder, almost cutting off his ability to breathe. "I'd love to make that little tramp leave you alone."

Takumi flushed to his toes as he sought to explain his realizations since getting involved with Keisuke. "Look, I've never felt like Mogi loves me, Keisuke. We always lacked something when I dated her. I thought that if she chose to stay with me it would make Oyaji happy. I've disappointed Oyaji most of my life, and having a steady girlfriend would have gone a long way toward making him happier with me."

"Mogi's never getting you back, Takumi." Keisuke's voice dropped to a chest deep growl.

Takumi furrowed his brow as he looked into blazing eyes. "Of course not. I'd be miserable with her. Even if Oyaji kills me for seeing you, I can't pretend that I want to be with anyone else, Keisuke. Despite everything, I do want to be with you, even though it probably doesn't feel like it to you when the mess in my head flips me out."

"I'm relived that you want to be with me, Takumi. We'll get you past the mess in your head soon enough."

"Domo. Anyway, I believe you're serious, Keisuke. Despite the mess my head's been in since we started dating, I can't pretend to feel things I don't. I don't know which words to put to most of the things I feel which is half the problem. I'm figuring things out as fast as I can so I'll stop panicking."

Keisuke's voice shook as he spoke. "Mogi's trying to break us up, and I hate her for it. I'll always get damn angry over stupid bimbos that want to take you fro me!"

"Keisuke, I'm not interested in Mogi, . . . or anyone else. You don't have to get jealous every time someone talks to me. I wish my thoughts, and feelings could reach you so you'd understand everything I don't know how to say. I haven't been the easiest person for you to date because I've been trying to get used to this."

"You've needed time to adjust to being the love of my life, Takumi. It's been one hell of an ordeal for you. Going from a genuine straight man into a gay romance is a tough change to make. My impatience with wanting to wrap myself around you and never let go doesn't help you make this shift easier."

"Look, . . . you're important to me in ways, . . . I can't explain. Questions are running through my mind that I can't answer either. Still, I don't want you to feel miserable because I start flipping out. When I'm with you, I do forget some of my worries."

"Damn, I hate that being in love with you is a stupid taboo! I don't like hiding our relationship. If we didn't have to hide, then maybe you'd finally settle down and realize I'm not going anywhere."

"I don't want to become the topic of other people's gossip, taboo or not, Keisuke."

"My point is that you're trying to sort out how you feel about me. You don't need the stress my jealousy also causes. Yet, my biggest irritation is knowing onnas can hit on you, and I have to pretend not to notice because it's a taboo for us to be together. If we didn't have to hide, then you'd get left alone. "

"Keisuke, I don't pay attention to onnas at the battles. They always want information about you, or Ryosuke san whenever they approach me."

"Hey, that onna in the Porsche had you in her sights. Her stare said you were a prime steak she wanted to eat, Takumi. Don't pretend she wasn't interested in you."

"You, and Ryosuke-san got screamed at, drooled over, or pawed at every other battle since I joined Project D! The only time an onna has shown an interest in me, she didn't make a huge scene proving it!" Takumi snapped.

"Hey, I don't let baka no onnas paw me, and their screeching gets on my nerves!" Keisuke paused, giving him an odd look. "Matte. Does this mean you're worried one of them will try to steal me away from you, Takumi?"

Takumi snorted at Keisuke's mercurial change. "I'm annoyed at how often I get asked if you and Ryosuke-san have girlfriends. Makes me feel like I'm their appointed fan club president for the Rotary Brothers."

Keisuke's eyes widened. "Are you serious?"

"Every onna that approaches me asks about you, or Ryosuke-san. That's all I ever hear from the ones that speak to me. All of your jealousy fits are meaningless because I don't get hit on, Keisuke"

"I get damn pissed when I get asked about your relationship status. I tell them that you're taken so fast their jaws drop. I hope you tell them I'm very much taken." Keisuke's tone was gruff.

"I say that you're with someone, but I don't now about Ryosuke-san. When exactly has anyone ever asked if I was available except the onna with the Porsche?" Takumi found it hard to believe anyone was interested in him. People recognized hachi roku, not him.

"How can you stand it when onnas pull that?" Keisuke shifted the focus back on him. His eyes narrowed, but he let it slide.

"If you love me, then you're not going to chase someone else. I'm honestly trying to be worth your time so I shouldn't have to be jealous."

"Hm, how do you propose to make things worth my time?" Takumi watched Keisuke's lips twitch toward a smile as his voice took on a bantering hue. The teen's face grew hot as he heard the undercurrents in his partner's voice. Keisuke pulled his chin up again, and made him look in his eyes.

Takumi settled on being honest. "I wonder every day how to make things worth your time. I know I haven't been a very good choice so far, Keisuke."

"Takumi, don't start tearing into yourself again. I was teasing you because you're absolutely addictive when you blush."

"Do you know your impish side is exasperating, Keisuke? But, . . . somehow that makes you more attractive to me now."

Keisuke's head tilted. "Does that mean you like it when I tease you?"

"You could say I'm figuring out that almost everything about you is becoming more interesting to me, Keisuke." He watched the blond's eyebrows quirk as he opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Takumi glanced at the sun's location, and changed subjects. "Hey, I want to show you something, if you're up to a hike."

The beginning of a plan prompted Takumi to speak. He was not certain how to work up the courage to carry out the vague idea, but hoped it would help repair the damage his nonstop panics caused.

"Nani do you want to show me?"

"A spot mount Akina keeps hidden from all but a very select few."

"Nani's so great about this place you want to show me?"

"You'll have to follow me to find out. We should move it, or we won't get there in time." Takumi slithered out of Keisuke's arms, and headed to his trunk to retrieve his oversized blanket, and flashlight. Takumi walked beside the observatory rail where it curved back into the mountain bluff. Beyond the rail, signs of an animal trail became visible. Takumi followed the feint track. He heard the crunch of footsteps behind him. giddiness rose as Takumi's nebulous plan took shape. The youth led Keisuke into a steep little canyon that turned at a sharp right angle. They followed several switch backs inside the narrow confines.

Keisuke halted him. "Hey, I hear something."

"I know. That sound's the reason we're here." Takumi scrambled across three small boulders wedged into the fissure. He moved up the short incline at a fast clip. Keisuke followed him onto the shelf that dominated a narrow, bottleneck canyon. The rift was smallish, but filled with stunted, lush trees bathing in a light mist. Water spilled out of a crevice high in the rock face. It tumbled down jagged rock to settle in a small pool below. An underground stream from the lake fed the small falls. They were in time to witness the mist bursting into rainbow colors that danced on the air. Takumi heard the spiky-haired blond gasp as he stepped onto the game train leading down to the pool's edge.

"Kami-sama, Takumi! How many places like this do you know?" The reverent tone Takumi heard made him smile.

"I know the lookout, and this spot. I come here when I'm confused, or really angry. It calms me down when nothing else works. I'm glad you like it, Keisuke." Takumi dropped the thick blanket under a small tree and sat. He enjoyed the jewel toned flashes of color sparkling on their way into the deep pool. Immediate peace enveloped him as he watched the small cascade's frolic.

Keisuke sat next to him. The blond leaned against the stubby tree. "I never guessed a place like this existed here at Akina."

"I've always kept this to myself, . . . until now. I really love it here, Keisuke. So, I wanted to share it with you. Itsuke doesn't even know about this place."

"I don't blame you for loving it. It's gorgeous, Takumi."

"The lookout's private, but wild animals are the only ones who ever come here."

"Hm, nani kinds?"

"Deer, silver foxes, birds, and raccoons."

"I would expect deer, birds, and even a few raccoons, but silver foxes?"

"If we're really quiet, they might come for a drink. The fox family's cute. The babies are really funny. They're little fuzz balls that roll and tumble around trying to stay on their stubby little legs."

Keisuke sounded surprised. "I never would have pegged you for an animal lover."

"I like to watch wild animals. After Oyaji killed Sheena, I avoided pets."

"Sheena?" Keisuke sounded interested.

"She was a little half-blind cat that Itsuke and I found during our last year in elementary school. Oyaji got attached to her too. She got out one morning when he was making deliveries, and he ran her over by accident. Oyaji drank a lot right after that. I started making the morning deliveries right after that happened."

"Gomen, Takumi."

"I thought Oyaji did it on purpose at first. Then, I figured out he was drinking so much because he was upset about having killed her."

"So, this is where you go to sort out your head."

"Hai. It helps me figure things out. Like, . . . those damned panic attacks, Keisuke."

"Really?"

Takumi watched the falls and nodded. He took a deep breath. "When I was growing up, I learned to never want anything. 'Kāsan, Sheena, and others vanished whenever I started to think they were going to stay. Part of me expects you to vanish . . . the same as they did, Keisuke."

Keisuke pulled his head around and made eye contact. "Takumi, I'm not going anywhere you aren't."

"Keisuke, I've let you take the lead every step of this relationship so I won't screw things up. Since we started dating, . . . everything's gotten so real, . . . so fast. I'm starting to think we belong together . . . because I can't see my life without you in it. Every time I've seen people in my life like I'm seeing you, . . . they've always left. It always happens once I get comfortable with having them around. So I'm freaking out. I can't stop the voice in the back of my head that's shouting that you're going to get tired of me and leave too. Every time I try to figure out my feelings, I hit a road block because that voice drowns out everything else."

"I love you, Takumi. You're very stuck with me because I can't stand being away from you. Get used to it already."

Takumi pulled away, aggravated. "You tell me you won't leave, but I can't stop freaking out, . . . because you're, . . . you're getting way too important . . . to me, Keisuke."

"Walking away from you isn't an option. Even if you told me to leave, I wouldn't do it, Takumi."

Takumi dipped his head and looked at the grass that swayed beside his foot. "I'll figure out how to beat this stupid fear, Keisuke. Gomen that I'm making things so hard all the time."

"You never cease to amaze me, Fujiwara Takumi."

"Nani is so amazing about the mess in my head? I've caused you nothing but grief since you asked me for a chance."

Keisuke grabbed him and pulled Takumi's head down into his lap. Such an intimate gesture was reserved for engaged, or married couples. It surprised Takumi to be in such a privileged position. Keisuke draped an arm across his chest to keep him there. The blond smiled at him, running long fingers through Takumi's hair, and over his forehead to ease frown lines.

"I'm not talking about the mess in your head. You won't understand, knowing you."

"Guess I don't have any idea nani qualifies as amazing to you."

"You have a quiet strength, and incredible focus, Takumi."

"I'm quiet because I screw up my meanings when I open my mouth."

"Takumi, you keep me on track to becoming a professional driver by using those qualities. When I want to wrap myself around you and ignore everything else, you don't let me. That's one of your strengths."

Keisuke placed a fingertip over his mouth, sliding the finger along his lower lip in a hypnotic rhythm. "You give me so much. Like today, you love this place, and you chose to share it with me alone. That means a lot to me. Words don't work for you. Everything you do to express yourself make you amazing, Takumi."

Takumi grabbed Keisuke's hand so he could answer. "I wanted to share this spot with you to apologize for making things so rough on you, Keisuke. I really hoped you'd like it as much as I do."

The blond smiled at him and placed his fingertips over his lips to silence him again. "Arigato, Takumi. Now let me finish. You're stubborn about your honor, and have a lot of self discipline. You always keep your word to Aniki. Your self control helps me to juggle two things at once. You're also the most tenacious and stubborn man I've ever met."

Takumi spoke through the two fingers lightly pressed to his lips. "I really wanted to help you get better with your braking skills, Keisuke. Training with you hasn't only been about my promise to Ryosuke-san. I've been getting to know you better in return."

Keisuke chuckled over the muffled quality of his voice. "You're interrupting me again."

"Uhm, gomen." Heat flared and rose to color his face as Takumi clamped his teeth over his bottom lip to silence himself.

"Not fair, Takumi. You're being so damned adorable again." Keisuke dropped a kiss on his forehead with a smile. Then he covered Takumi's mouth with his whole hand to make certain he couldn't talk again.

"Now, where was I? Your determination to face all the things troubling you is awe inspiring. I couldn't cope with everything you are. You're actually trying to help an obnoxious ex-girlfriend get over you, plus going from being straight to a gay romance when you had zero interest in men before me. You've made unbelievable progress in accepting everything that's happening between us in two months. You've even managed to grasp the reason for your panic attacks. You really are the only person in this world for me."

Keisuke removed his hand from Takumi's mouth, and bent over to give him a light, lingering kiss. Takumi looked up at Keisuke's gentle expression when their lips parted. It was a look few ever saw.

"I try to do my best, Keisuke."

"I knew you wouldn't get it. I still love you."

"You want me around because you like me for myself. I do get it."

"Then naze do you tear yourself apart and mean it all the time, Takumi?"

"I don't know."

"Well it pisses me off when you do that. You have lots of amazing qualities, so knock it off." Keisuke delivered a light thump to his forehead.

"You're the one that's amazing, Keisuke."

"I'm single minded, selfish, and arrogant. Minasan, including Aniki says so." Keisuke argued with a grin.

"So? You've taught me so much. I didn't have any dreams, or goals until you pushed me to make some. You understood that I liked to drive before I did. You believe in me even when I don't believe in myself. You show me how to do things I would never attempt if you weren't here. I'm truly grateful for everything you've done for me. You've changed my life beyond anything I ever imagined was possible."

Looking down at him with gentle warmth, Keisuke replied. "Speaking of life changing experiences, I'm not going to stop changing yours until you can't stand anyone but me for the rest of yours. Think you can you handle that?" Keisuke's voice was earnest.

Takumi wanted to believe Keisuke meant exactly what he said. His words caused the amber-haired teen to reach up and trace his aristocratic brow with a gentle finger as he memorized this softly seductive expression. 'I know I need you in my life, but am I good enough to be with someone as incredible, and focused as you, Keisuke? I want to be the only one that can stand by your side, but do I even deserve you? Will you really stay with me?'

Takumi hoped Keisuke could understand his unspoken gesture. The blond took his hand, and gave his palm a playful nip. In a quiet voice, he sought to make himself understood. "I hope I can become a worthwhile match for you. I need to get my act together so I don't cause so much trouble first. I've got to fix my problems, or I'll never know that I'm your equal. . . . If my head keeps causing so much trouble, . . . I can't handle intense things very well. How can I answer you honestly when I'm such a mess? . . . I sometimes think that all I can ever do is hurt you, Keisuke."

"That's brutally honest. For your information you haven't done anything to hurt me, Takumi. Gomen, I got too pushy again. I know nani I want, and that's your heart, Takumi."

The nineteen-year-old sighed. "I do hurt you by panicking for no obvious reason. I hate it when I do that, Keisuke."

"Even if you don't want to believe me, you're already my equal, Takumi. I wouldn't be with you if you weren't a strong person. I wouldn't have stuck with you through your panic attacks if I felt like your panics were directed at me. From the very first one you had, I thought that you've been through some pretty bad shit in the past. I'm getting a better idea of just how bad things were for you." Keisuke replied with a serious expression.

"You've caused so many good changes since you showed up, Keisuke. I can't make the panic attacks stop although I do try really hard. Sometimes I wonder if they would go away if you ignored them."

Keisuke curled around Takumi's head and shoulders so his weight was on the arm that had previously rested across Takumi's chest. Keisuke kept the teen's head on his thigh. "iie way in hell am I going to ignore it when you're in a panicked state, Takumi! I won't make things even worse for you. I'm glad you told me everything you know about your panics. You're still my perfect match, even if I'm scaring you witless accidentally."

"How can you say that, Keisuke?"

"Despite how confused you are, you don't lie to me. That takes guts, Takumi. Weak people can't do the things you have. I always know where I stand with you."

"I don't lie because I can't remember things I said ten minutes later."

"Now that I understand you panic, I'm very happy."

"How can you be happy about me being such a baka?" Takumi frowned.

"Because you panic since you can't stand losing me."

"But, it's not fair to you when I flip out without any real reason."

"I'm the important person you're very stuck with, Takumi. Trust me, I'm going to prove it to you." Keisuke shifted his body to wrap him in an embrace that had him flat on his back.

He looked up into intelligent blue eyes. "I keep telling myself that, but I guess I need to work on it more."

Keisuke smiled down at him. "You'll get used to being stuck with me soon enough. I'm going to make sure of it, Takumi."

-oo0oo-
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Alternate Tracks 2nd Story in Rivalry Series