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Regrets in the Crying Sky	By : Rhov Category: +. to F > Fairy Tail Views: 7052 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Fairy Tail is the property of Hiro Mashima. I make no money, I just do this for my own pleasure.

Chapter List
- 1-Rain
- 2-Regrets
- 3-Hesitancy
- 4-Taboo
- 5-Dessert
- 6-Domestication
- 7-Crying
- 8-Vow
- 9-Freedom
- 10-Decisions
- 11-Only
- 12-Stay
- 6
- 7
- 8
A/N: It's tissue time.
For Gray's point-of-view, I recommend listening to Erin McCarley's "Pitter-Pat." And for Natsu's side to this scene, the perfect song is Rascal Flatts' "What Hurts the Most."

Chapter 7

Crying
Dawn arrived darkly. The storm had not yet passed, although now it was just a drizzle that pattered on the roof and streamed down the eaves in silver curtains. Gray's eyes opened to look at the monochrome world outside, so cold and stark. Then he slowly rolled over, still wrapped in Natsu's arms. He smiled at the bright pink hair, the bronze skin, and the crimson blankets. Such bright colors, so lively, compared to the grimness outside.
He was unsure how long he laid there, just watching Natsu breathing through slightly parted lips. He was surprisingly adorable while asleep. Those squinty eyes looked more childlike when closed, and his mouth was opened just enough to see a glimpse of sharp teeth and a hint of pink tongue. He stared at those slightly chapped lips, recalling how they had felt on his skin. Gray lightly touched his own mouth, remembering those sweet, wild, burning kisses. He could almost feel the searing heat of Natsu's tongue licking him again.
Gray fisted up his hand and gave a soft sigh. He had wanted the night to last forever, but that was a wish for fools. Reality froze his heart. He had to leave this warm dreamworld and return to his rain woman. Surely, Juvia would be elated to see Gray back early. She would smile, embrace him, and give him loving kisses.
Would he ever be able to enjoy those tender kisses after knowing the fiery kiss of a dragon?
It was tempting—oh so tempting—to stay here until the weekend, to hide away in this house, escape reality a little longer … to keep living in this fantasy…
Gray shook his head. If he stayed, he would never leave, and that was unfair to Juvia. He truly did love her. She deserved better, because he knew he would never be able to give her one hundred percent of his heart.
Slowly, hoping not to wake Natsu, Gray pulled out of the warm embrace. He felt oddly cold as he climbed out of the bed. It was not a sensation he was used, not since he was a child, yet after being smothered by the Fire Dragon Slayer's heat all night, even just the stormy morning chill felt cold. As he moved, his body ached, a painful reminder of the previous night's passion. Each step made his ass burn and his hips throb. The pain was Natsu's mark on him, something no one could see, but Gray could feel it potently.
Dealing with the ache, he walked naked to the bathroom. They had showered in here, with the cold water instantly heated by Natsu. They had also stroked one another off in that shower. It was pure raw lust that time, an after-dinner dessert following such a savory main course.
Gray looked aside, forcing himself not to think about these things. He urinated, washed his face and hands, and borrowed Natsu's toothbrush to clean his teeth. Then he used a stiff comb to get his black hair into something resembling order. Tiptoeing around the bedroom, he found his scattered clothes and quietly watched Natsu for any signs of waking as Gray dressed himself. Finally, even his coat was on, and the Dragon Slayer was still sound asleep. It really was too cute!
Gray walked back over to the bed. He began to lean over, wanting to give him a kiss, one last goodbye before leaving back to the world of reality, but he feared that if Natsu woke up, he would beg Gray to stay. He knew that if that happened, he would never leave. Already, this was painfully tearing at his heart. If Natsu gazed up with those sage-green eyes and said "Stay with me," Gray would lose all resolve. Slowly, frowning, Gray pulled back up. He swallowed hard, trying to bury his regrets once more.
Then his eyes turned to the nightstand. The gold wedding ring still sat there, now like a leash he had to put on obediently. Outside the door, out in that miserable rain, his cage was waiting.
Gray ground his teeth. He really should not think of Juvia that way. She was so caring, so loving and devoted. He often felt he did not deserve someone so faithful as her, not when his own thoughts often strayed. He was truly happy with her. She made him laugh, made him blush, made him feel such passion and hope for the future.
Yet he knew a part of him would always regret the road not taken. He glanced back over to Natsu, thinking one last time about how things might have been different if he had only spoken up before fleeing from his uncertainties.
Too late now. All he had left were memories of last night.
With icy resolve, Gray picked up the wedding band, slid it onto his ring finger, and fisted his hand. It was time to put away fantasies and return to being a responsible husband. With any luck, in a year's time, he and Juvia might even be parents. That was something Natsu could never give him.
Yet the Fire Dragon Slayer could give so much more!
Gray shook his head, banishing those fantasies. He made his choice five years ago when he gave his vows to Juvia. He knew that day, he was giving up a lot of freedom, yet he still went through with it out of love for Juvia. He was happy with her. He wanted many more decades with her by his side. He did not regret the past five years of marriage.
Did he regret last night? He wasn't sure yet. What happened last night was a sin, a charred stain on his soul that he would have to live with for the rest of his life. It was a dreamworld, a wonderland, one night of fictive passion. It could never be reality. Not anymore.
It had been everything he always wanted but couldn't have.
And then Gray realized, he still couldn't have it. He had no choice but to turn away from delectable delusions and return to reality.
Gray forced himself to walk out of the bedroom with a firm stride. The house was so silent, so empty. He could hardly help but pity the loneliness Natsu must feel living here. He put his shoes on at the door, took one more look around at this house that was rarely used anymore, a house filled with Natsu's essence. Then, freezing his heart, he opened the door, stepped outside, made sure the latch closed firmly, and strode out into the rain, heading down the soggy road toward Magnolia.
Not even at the tree line, he paused and looked back. A smile struggled to his lips. The fire Natsu lit within him still sizzled, and Gray knew it would never be fully quenched. It was a scar branded deep in his heart, something to warm him with passion and freeze him with regrets. A tear dripped down that bittersweet smile, quickly washed away and hidden by the drizzling rain.
Finally, Gray turned, and he forced himself not to look back.

Natsu's eyes opened as soon as he heard the door shut. He had been awake long before Gray, but he knew that a goodbye between them would only be painful. He let Gray make his choice. Natsu's chest shuddered with tears he did not allow to fall. He had known from the beginning that Gray would choose his wife over some fling.
Still, it hurt to let him go and listen to his slow, reluctant steps walk away.
He sat up, and the blankets tumbled around him. Natsu looked down and saw small pink marks all over his chest and swollen welts from scratches to his hips and shoulders. He had been so careful not to mark Gray, yet the Ice-Make mage had marked him all over.
A dragon being marked!
It made Natsu chuckle for a moment, but then the levity slowly vanished as he realized with a sickly shiver that he potentially could have ruined Gray's marriage, all for a crazy fling.
His head dropped to his knees. Curling into a ball, he whispered shamefully, "What have I done?"
Did he regret it, now that morning shined its light on their sin? A part of him did, the part that hated the fact that he had betrayed Juvia's friendship and took advantage of Gray despite knowing he was a married man.
He looked over to where Gray had been sleeping. The sheets were still wrinkled in an outline of his body, and his wintry scent clung strongly in the air. Natsu caressed the bed sheets and smiled as he recalled what had happened, right here in his bed. His first time making love! He had been saving himself, not wanting any other love but Gray's. Finally, he got his wish.
It was everything he had ever wanted.
And it was the ultimate betrayal!
Suddenly, Natsu clenched the sheets and slammed his eyes shut as he realized it was the first time in his life that he had placed his feelings above others and potentially hurt one of his nakama. Juvia didn't deserve this, but … neither did they.
"Why?" he screamed, angry at Fate's cruelty.
Natsu grabbed his chest and bent over to struggle against the tears that threatened to fall. He shouldn't cry! He had no right to weep for something that he could never have, something he gave up, silently watching as Gray walked away from him. Still, he already wanted Gray back, wanted to hoard him, never let him leave, covet him and steal him away. Letting go went against all of his desires and instincts.
His heart burned with regret, but he did not repent at all that he had finally come forth and told Gray the truth. What they did was not Natsu's sin alone. Gray had made his choice, and at least for one night, he had chosen Natsu over Juvia. The sin was theirs to share, a darkness that now bonded them with silent longing and memories of the sweetest, most forbidden passion. It was their secret, their sin, their burden that would both sting their hearts with remorse and warm their chests with repletion.
"Gray," he whispered, already wanting him back, wanting to hold him and comfort what he knew must be agonizing for the married ice mage.
His head raised up, forcing the tears back. His nose was moist, and his chest jolted with sobs he refused to let loose. The house felt so lonely and quiet. Over the years, Natsu thought that he had gotten used to being alone. Dragons were reclusive creatures by nature. Now, that solitude ached.
As he sat there in silence and stared at the sheets, Natsu realized that it was not last night which filled him with remorse. It was the past, not taking this chance sooner, the stupidity of youth and fears of rejection. He regretted keeping quiet and watching from afar.
He did not regret loving Gray.
Natsu leaned over and kissed the pillow where Gray had slept. He inhaled the lingering aroma and rested his cheek where Gray's head had laid all night. Then he hugged the pillow, closed his eyes, and remembered the tenderness of Gray's touches. It was all he could do now: reminisce and regret.
One thing he knew for sure was that he had loved Gray for years, still loved him, and always would. He prayed that maybe, someday, they could have one more night like this. It was so wrong, and yet … it had been so sweet.
Outside, the rain suddenly began to pick up. The wind blew, and droplets splattered against the window, streaking down like teardrops. Natsu finally climbed out of the warm bed and walked to the window, staring out into the bleakness. Far down the road, almost out of view, he saw the dark speck that was Gray's retreating body.
Gray had to live his life, and Natsu had to respect that choice. He had to let him go.
Natsu put his hand on the chilly windowpane, right over where Gray's back faced him. A tear finally escaped and tumbled down his cheek.
"I love you, Gray," he whispered.
Natsu focused on his reflection in the glass. The crying sky left streaks down the window, mirroring the lines of tears now streaming down his face.
He wondered if, right now, Gray's heart was also crying.

End of Chapter 7

A/N: This is how my collaborator, Yasminemohamed91, wanted this to end, but … I can't! I have to expand it some more.
- 6
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Regrets in the Crying Sky