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Catch the Thunder	By : Rhov Category: +. to F > Fairy Tail Views: 17789 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: Fairy Tail is the property of Hiro Mashima. I make no money, I just do this for my own pleasure.

Chapter List
- 72
- 73
- 74
Chapter 73
Roman Holiday
.
Laxus awoke to the smell of orchids and coffee. Once again, Freed had woken up much earlier than him, and his side of the bed was empty. That was fairly normal, so Laxus grudgingly shifted out of a strange bed.
Oh right. They were in a hotel. Not just any hotel. One Picasso stayed in. Laxus looked up and saw a fresco painting that national leaders had woken up to seeing. Mindblowing!
He shuffled out of the bedroom and saw a Roman god sitting on a balcony, sunlight pouring over his alabaster skin, as he checked his cellphone and sipped coffee. Laxus blinked his eyes a few times, but even as he realized this was his boyfriend, he still saw a god.
"I am one damn lucky man," he muttered.
He wrapped a silk hotel robe around his naked body and walked over, rubbing his eyes against the glaring sunlight. Freed looked up and held back a laugh. Laxus' blond hair stuck out, he still had pillow creases on his face, and his eyes barely wanted to open against the glaring sun.
"Buongiorno."
"Yeah, mornin'," he grumbled.
"I figured I'd let you sleep in and ordered room service."
"Much obliged," Laxus muttered. He flopped onto a chair and poured out some coffee.
"It's strong," Freed warned.
"Good!" He gulped it down and immediately jolted. "Whoa! Now that is coffee."
"Italian espresso. Nothing in the world quite like it."
The coffee was the kick his brain needed. "So, what's the plan for the day?"
"First, some food. This hotel has an amazing rooftop restaurant. We'd be crazy to miss the chance to eat there."
"Are they still open at this hour?"
"Barely. I was about to wake you up. Get dressed. We'll plan more while we eat."
"Plan more, my ass! I know you've probably got a spreadsheet with every action plotted down to the minute."
"Well then," Freed said in a huff, "I'll talk, you listen and obey."
Laxus raised an eyebrow at that last word and stared at Freed for an entire silent minute, until Freed began to squirm under his glare.
"Wh-What?" he finally cried.
"Listen and obey?" Laxus asked in a challenge. "I hope you realize, for saying that, I am very tempted to throw all your plans out the window, chain you to the bed, and fuck you senseless over and over until you beg for forgiveness."
Freed scoffed. "We're only in Rome for one day. You will do no such thing, and we're wasting time." He stood and walked back into the main room.
Laxus gulped down the last of his coffee and stormed in after him, catching Freed on the way to the bathroom. He grabbed him and pinned him to the wall.
"Laxus, I'm serious!"
"So am I!" Laxus leaned in close. "Don't … tempt me … by saying things like that. I love you, I respect how much time and effort I'm sure you put into your itinerary, so don't tempt me by saying provocative things like that."
He released Freed and stomped into the bathroom to wash up first, leaving Freed leaning against the wall, stunned by the bombastic response, and slowly getting a devious smirk on his face.
They dressed and went to the roof, where an elegant outdoor café was set up with tables shaded by white umbrellas. Laxus let Freed order, and soon plates were set in front of them. There were the standards, some hard boiled eggs, sausages, olives, orange slices, and a pastry dusted in powdered sugar. "Croissants?" He picked one up and immediately brought it to his mouth.
"Ah, that's not—"
Laxus bit in, and custard exploded everywhere.
"—not a croissant," Freed sighed. "They're called cornettos. Similar, but less buttery and filled with cream or jam."
Laxus licked the custard off his fingers. "I like it. Sorta like jelly-filled donuts, but flaky." Laxus finished his off and ate another one—chocolate cream inside, this time—as he sat back with another espresso.
Freed worked on his eggs and sausage and nibbled on some olives. "We have an appointment at ten."
"For what?" He hated the idea of mixing some sort of business with their anniversary vacation.
"A tailor. We're in Rome, Laxus. Don't you want an authentic Italian suit?"
"No," he said bluntly.
"Well, I do, and Sartoria Ripense is one of the best tailors in all of Italy."
"I have a perfectly good suit."
"You got it at the mall. This will be the sort of suit we'll wear to special occasions. We'll be wearing our own suits tonight and have the Italian suits shipped to America when they're done."
"We're wearing suits tonight?"
"Yes, we have reservations for a restaurant."
Laxus rolled his eyes. "How fancy is it?"
Freed chuckled at his obvious annoyance. "It's considered one of the best in the world, three-Michelin stars, the highest rating. If you thought the other places back home were fancy, they look like a Pizza Hut in comparison to this place."
"Fuck. Let's just stay in and order some spaghetti takeout."
Freed huffed and folded his arms. "Well, excuse me, but this is my own personal splurge for our anniversary. I read about this restaurant and really wanted to go. I almost didn't even get reservations."
"Okay, okay. If it'll make you happy, I'll put up with it. What else did you plan?"
"A photographer. I wanted some good pictures of us together while we're in Italy, not just selfies. It's also a good way to see the highlights of Rome. Sartoria Ripense is north of here—we'll walk—and we're meeting the photographer in Piazza del Popolo. We'll take some pictures there, then take the subway to Vatican City—"
"Subway?" Laxus grumbled.
"I am not walking all the way to Vatican City. We'll be doing a lot of walking as it is. Anyway, we should see the Vatican before it gets too late, so we'll go there first, a few pictures around the museum, see the Sistine Chapel and St. Peter's Square. We'll have to come back to it someday to see the whole place; we're going to miss most of it. From there, it's all walking."
"Thank God," Laxus grumbled.
"Saint Angelo Castle is right down the street, and the bridge there would make for some really romantic pictures. Then Piazza Navona and the Pantheon—we saw that last night but we can go inside in the daylight. We'll walk over to Piazza Venezia, some pictures around the Altar of the Fatherland, climb the steps to Campidoglio, maybe some candid pictures as we stroll around the archaeological sites, and end up at the Colosseum, hopefully before sunset. You should like that one."
"Gladiators, right?"
"Yep! Then we'll come back to the hotel, where we'll freshen up, get in our suits, and head to the restaurant."
"You got it all planned." Laxus chuckled into his coffee cup. "As expected of someone as perfect as you."
Freed was caught off-guard by the compliment and felt his cheeks blush. "Are you upset?"
"Why the hell would I be?"
"We're not really seeing anything you want to see."
"Fuck, I don't know what I want to see!" Laxus exclaimed. "Gladiators and shit, that's all I know. If it was up to me, I would wander around aimlessly and miss all the cool stuff."
"We can wander after dinner. A walk along the Tiber might be romantic. Maybe we'll get lost and find an adventure."
Laxus reached across the table and stroked Freed's arm. "I'd rather come back here and have an adventure in bed."
Freed chuckled and shook his head. "We'll have plenty of time for that, but I really want to experience Rome with you today."
"Maybe I want to roam inside you."
"Laxus!" Freed scolded.
He leaned back, letting go of the provocative suggestions, and decided to help himself to some eggs and sausage before they went cold. "I'm glad you planned everything, and I trust you."
Freed felt warmth at hearing those words and whispered, "Thank you."
They finished breakfast, returned to their rooms, and got ready to leave, making sure they had everything. Then Freed wrapped the leather strap of a bag around his neck. Laxus shook his head.
"Why would you bring a purse?"
"It's not a purse," Freed insisted. "This is a satchel."
"It's a man's purse."
"It's not a—" He sighed and let it go. "You'll see many men around Rome carrying these. This way, I can have my wallet, phone, and passport all in one place, as well as a place to put any souvenirs."
"So if your purse gets stolen, you have no money, no phone, and no passport."
"Pick-pocketing is far more common than purse-snatching."
"See, it's a purse."
Freed eyed him coldly before shaking his head and continuing. "Anyway, where do you plan to keep your passport?"
Laxus shrugged. "I don't need it for sightseeing."
Freed groaned. "Yes, you do."
"I never kept one on me in Greece."
"Well, Italy requires that you have official I.D. at all times, and an American state I.D. doesn't count."
"Why do I need it? Ain't planning anything but walking around."
"Do you plan to order alcohol at some point?"
"A beer would be nice."
"What if they card you?"
He raised an eyebrow. "I haven't been carded in ages. Do they even check ID for booze in Italy?"
"I don't know, but what if they do? And what if there's an emergency? What if one of the museums demands photo ID? Again, an American one doesn't cut it. That's why passports exist." He walked over to Laxus' stuff and pulled out his passport. "I'll keep it with me, but we should buy you a money belt so you can keep it on you. If someone did try to rob me, it'd be a problem if both of us had no identification."
"Just make sure no one snatches your purse."
"Yes, dear," he teased.
With that, they headed out of the hotel. Freed was light in his steps, enjoying the sunny weather and gazing around at all the people walking around. They headed straight to Sartoria Ripense tailors. Although Laxus knew this would be the worst part of the whole trip for him, he liked seeing how excited Freed was.
At least Laxus had already gotten a tailored suit at the mall, so he knew what to expect. The tailor spoke English fairly well, telling him where to move as he was measured. Laxus glared at the man getting Freed's sizes, though, and he only barely held back from bellowing when he saw the man measure the inside of Freed's thigh, getting up extra high into the crotch. It was all part of the process, but it still pissed him off to see a man get that close to Freed's dick.
After that was over and they were dressed again, they met up with a photographer named Jason. The man spoke broken English and seemed to be obsessed with slang.
"Cool, cool, cool!" he repeated as his expensive-looking camera got busy right away.
Laxus wondered just how much Freed must have paid to have a cameraman follow them around the whole day. They walked along, with Jason flitting about, running in front of them to get pictures of them walking hand-in-hand, leaping on top of a bench to get a picture from higher up just as they walked by, and then following behind them with the camera shutter busy at work. Laxus felt like the man was more like an annoying gnat.
They walked to the subway station, and Jason got photos of them boarding the Rome Metro subway, almost missing it himself. As soon as it took off, Laxus' hand went to his mouth as his stomach surged. Freed patted his back consolingly. Jason began to lift his camera, but Freed quickly made a hand signal to not take any pictures of Laxus like that. Jason politely put his camera away and did not document any of Laxus' motion sickness.
They crossed the River Tiber and came to a subway station. Some of the locals offered to help Freed as Laxus stumbled off the train car. Freed thanked them for their caring offer with what limited Italian he knew, and Jason thanked them in more fluent words. They came up out of the subway, and Laxus acted like finally he could breathe again.
While Laxus gulped at the fresh air and calmed down his stomach, Freed glanced around. This part of Rome was like any other city in the world. Gone were the ancient ruins and Renaissance fountains. Here, there was traffic, graffiti, delivery trucks rumbling by, motorcycles zipping around, posters for rock band concerts taped to street signs, and people swiftly walking to and fro. They set off toward the Vatican when a sign caught Laxus' attention.
"Fuck me, is that a McDonald's? We should eat there."
Freed shook his head in amusement. "You can have McDonald's anytime at home."
"And you can buy a suit anytime at home. This is Italian McDonald's."
Freed pulled him along. "Next time we come to Italy, you can have McDonald's."
"Next time, huh? Maybe another anniversary?"
Freed blushed and continued on down the street. They saw a large building in the distance, slowly getting closer, and with it an austere stone wall. When finally they were right in front of the wall, Laxus saw a huge coat-of-arms carved right into the corner.
"Is this a castle?" Laxus muttered in awe.
Jason suddenly leaped out of nowhere, getting a shot of Laxus' awed face as he gazed up at that crest.
"Cool, cool!" he shouted.
Laxus sneered at him.
"That's the Vatican," said Freed.
"So, the Pope built a wall to keep out Italians, huh?"
"Not quite. For one, this wall here was built twelve hundred years ago to keep out barbarians. I guess they'll have to shut the doors on you, huh?" he teased, elbowing Laxus in the ribs.
"Har-har," he said wryly.
"Saint Peter's Square, though, is completely open. The border is nothing more than a painted white line. You don't need a passport to enter, but you do need to go through security to go inside the basilica. Um … you don't have a knife or other weapon on you, do you?"
"I'm not that much of a barbarian."
"Good. Anyway, anybody is allowed to enter Saint Peter's Square. Also, the walls that do exist never fully protected it from invasion or bombing. The Vatican was sacked and plundered in the 1500s, and it was bombed twice during World War II."
"Seriously, did you read the Wikipedia on everything in Rome?"
Freed lifted his chin stubbornly. "No, I read a book on Italian history, from Julius Caesar to modern times."
"Even worse," Laxus teased.
They continued to walk, seeing more and more tourists along the way, until they came to a decorative stone arch with MVSEI VATICANI etched above. They got in line to enter the Vatican Museums. Freed had already bought tickets, not only for himself and Laxus, but their photographer as well. Jason profusely thanked Freed in both broken English and Italian. He then got to work taking pictures of some of the important sites, as well as his two clients.
They walked under the arch statue of Michelangelo and Raphael to enter the museum, and right away there was priceless art.
"Now," Freed said in an hushed tone as they walked swiftly through the entryway, "while I would love to see every single work of art here, we are limited on time, and I want to make the most of Jason here," he said, waving over to the photographer.
"Salve!" Jason cheered.
Freed pulled out his phone. "I made a map of the highlights…"
Laxus had drifted off and leaned over a railing. "Dude, check out this staircase. I've seen this in movies."
"Yes, dear," Freed said, tugging him along. "We're going to see some very famous sights. We'll do our best to see the most important things, but we simply don't have time to stop at them all." He sighed with his face twisted up. "I seriously need to come back here. I could spend a week looking at everything."
They walked along, and Jason snapped pictures as they walked past the works of Renaissance artists. More than once, Freed let out a lamenting sigh as they had to hurry along. They entered a huge hallway lined with marble statues. Laxus gawked as they went.
"Whoa! Freed! That's the pointing Roman meme guy."
"The Prima Porta Augustus. Yes, this is on my list. Jason! Andiamo!"
"Cool!" he shouted, obviously excited.
They posed in front of the statue, and Freed even imitates Augustus Caesar's adlocutio pose, his finger stretched out as if addressing an army. Laxus stood back for that one, and he could almost imagine Freed as a captain of elite troops who uses his brain to outsmart the enemy.
They moved on, passed statues and paintings, some Laxus instantly recognized, some he guessed were probably important because Freed stopped to get poses by them. Jason obviously loved working with someone as photogenic as Freed, and Laxus was fine to step out of the way and simply watch.
After what felt like hours, until marble busts and religious paintings all blended together, they came to the Sistine Chapel, and Laxus looked around in awe.
"Shit," he whispered.
Freed leaned over. "Better not cuss here."
"Right," he muttered, still in awe. "That's the God-touching-Adam thing."
"Creation of Adam."
"And that on the wall. I've seen that in memes. Shit, I've seen all of these."
"Language, dear."
Jason knew all the best parts of the chapel to photograph, zipping from one to another. Freed, meanwhile, was admiring the jaw-dropping astonishment in Laxus' face.
"I hope you're not too bored."
Laxus jolted. "Are you kidding! This is fuc- … is insanely awesome. It's like every movie, every history book, all wrapped in one."
They stepped out into Saint Peter's Square, a place full of people, almost all of them tourists, taking pictures, slowly spinning around while recording to fully take in the scene.
"Questa parte, signore. This way. Cool, yes!"
Laxus stood back as the man was obviously fascinated by photographing Freed, finding all sorts of angles to flatter his face.
"Signore, you too." He motioned for Laxus to go over to Freed.
Laxus waved his hands in a negative. "Oh, nah, he's better looking than me."
"Laxus," Freed said, and he held out his hand invitingly. "Come here."
Laxus felt warmth in his heart. He thought Freed was a natural at this, he was breathtaking and knew just how to angle himself, whereas Laxus hated to take even a selfie; yet there he was, insisting that they should be together.
He then saw a flash to the side. Jason had snapped a candid picture of some face he was making.
"È fantastico, signore. Sta benissimo. You look great, marvelous, cool"
Laxus rolled his eyes and went over to where Freed was posing.
"Together, closer," Jason said, getting his camera ready. "Your arm, around his shoulder."
Laxus wrapped Freed up in a half hug. He looked down at him, and he smiled with another wave of warmth.
"Yes! Cool, cool, cool!"
Laxus heard the camera's shutter and looked up.
"Perfect! Cool!"
"I wasn't even looking at the camera," Laxus protested.
"Ah, but your face, signore. How you look at him. Sta benissimo."
Freed gazed up at Laxus with a teasing smirk. "Oh? Are you looking at me a certain way?"
Laxus scowled as his cheeks warmed up. "Shut up. I ain't doin' shit."
Freed chuckled quietly. "Shall we move on?"
They entered St. Peter's Basilica together. Again, Laxus was left in awe at the grandeur inside. The church's roof soared high, with pure white and gleaming gold. Light streaked in like heavenly ribbons to light up crosses, marble statues, gold leaf images of saints and angels, and Latin script written along the walls.
"Fuuuuuu—"
"Quiet," Freed cut in, worried he was about to curse again, and in this church of all churches.
"It's beautiful," Laxus whispered, gazing around in awe. "I'll give one thing to Catholics. They sure know how to make a man feel tiny. If I was the religious sort, I'd drop to my knees right here."
A man who had just entered a little behind them did just that, falling to his knees as he broke down in tears at the sight of this most holy church.
"Like that guy," Laxus muttered.
They walked in a little more, while Jason took pictures of all the best angles, knowing exactly what to preserve in memory. Laxus and Freed continued deeper in. They saw the dome soaring so high, an archangel could have stood in there and not touched the top. They meandered around the nave, pointing out statues to one another.
"This is just crazy," Laxus whispered, still shaking a little deep inside at the idea that he was standing there, in St. Peter's Basilica. "I think I'm having an out-of-body experience."
Freed took his arm and patted it. "You're still here with me. Don't go flying off with angels."
"Don't joke about that!" Laxus had to look down and shake his head. "If I thought our hotel room was too much, this is just … too crazy. Way too crazy."
Freed began to look worried. "Do we need to get out?"
"No." He glanced down at Freed and smiled gently. "You like it, right?"
"I'm not Catholic, but I appreciate the history and architecture." He glanced up and around at the arches. "Do you know what's sad?" he said, keeping his voice down. "The sheer irony of a gay couple like us visiting the most holy church in Christianity, of one of the Christian groups who don't accept gay people, who killed them, who believe that God hates homosexuals like us."
A man in pristine white robes stopped, and slowly he turned around. "Pardon," he said with a thick accent. They looked over, stunned to see a man oozing religious purity, like there should be a giant golden cross on his forehead. "I am Bishop Larcade. I could not help but overhear."
Laxus stood a little taller and glared at the thin man in a challenge. "Ya gonna kick us out?"
"No," he assured. "There is a growing belief, supported by the Pope, who is the infallible Voice of God, that God does not hate gay people. He loves them as His children. The Bible says, God is love. How could God hate true love without hating himself?" Larcade put his hands on both of their shoulders. "There are some who have turned to hate, and that is a pity, something the Pope hopes to change. But change must come slowly, or it is too painful for some, and we would lose them to the evils of this world."
Freed talked right back to him fearlessly, "Meanwhile, the blood on the hands of the Catholic Church grows thicker."
"You speak the truth," he confessed. "We cannot change the past. All we can do is change ourselves for the better, try to be role models for others, hope that those we hurt may someday forgive us, and accept if we are beyond absolution." Larcade lowered his head. "I hope that, someday, you may come to forgive those who hurt you, and that you both may come to live in a world that accepts you, just as God loves all people."
With that, he walked on. Laxus was left looking oddly at the man, but something changed in Freed. He looked around at the church.
A world where they were completely accepted.
He would like that, but it was hard to believe. Still, it was something worth fighting for.
Freed suddenly said, "I don't know about you, but I'm starving."
"Fuck yes!" Laxus exclaimed, but jolted and slammed his hand to his mouth. "Uh, I mean…"
Freed pulled him along. "Let's get out of here before you say something to make God strike you down. Jason!"
"Cool!" the man cried. "I got pictures, you and il vescovo. Very, very cool!"
"That's great. Let's eat."
"Mangiamo!" Jason cried out, punching his fist into the air.
They left the Basilica, traveled through Saint Peter's Square, out into modern-day Rome, and walked to a nearby bistro, Caffé Vaticano. Laxus was glad when he saw BEER written on a blackboard out from.
"Beer. That's beer beer, right? Ooh, and sausages? Fuck McDonald's, now you're talkin'!"
Following behind them, Jason cheered. "Fuck McDonald's!"
Laxus glanced back at him. "Are ya hungry? Food? Lunch?" He motioned to his mouth.
"Lunch? Ah! L'ora di pranzo. Ho fame."
"Famished, huh? Cool."
"Cool, cool, cool!"
Laxus rolled his eyes and mumbled in annoyance, "Dammit, now you've got me saying it."
They went inside, and Jason seemed to think that documenting their entire lunch experience was very important. Freed had to insist that he eat as well just so Laxus could enjoy his beer in peace. As for himself, he had a panini with some wine, sighing as he got to rest his feet.
"Are you okay still?" Laxus asked, worried if maybe the party two nights ago left Freed too sore.
"I'm not used to walking so much. I should go to the gym again."
"Or go for walks with me."
Freed smiled placidly, thinking how romantic that could be.
After eating, they began on their grand journey through Rome. Freed was in his element, posing for pictures, exclaiming about every historic site, rambling facts like a tour guide. They visited a castle, crossed an ancient bridge holding hands, walked to the Pantheon where they took photos together outside and finally got to go inside the famous ancient building.
At Trevi Fountain, Freed reached into his wallet and pulled out three coins.
"Gonna make a wish?" Laxus asked in amusement as Freed tossed the coins in.
Freed smiled like a little child. "I wish for peace on Earth, a cure for all terminal diseases, and stopping global warming."
Laxus had to laugh. "Shit, you don't mess around on your wishes."
"I know that's all just for kids. It's a tradition to toss in three coins, plus all money collected from the fountain goes to feed the poor."
"Feed the poor, huh?" Hearing that, Laxus pulled out his wallet, unzipped a coin pocket, and looked at the money. It was all American coins, but he figured they could work out the exchange. He threw in a handful of coins, which plopped into the fountain in a downpour.
"Laxus! How many did you throw in?"
"I don't know, about ten coins? I don't care about the wishes; I've got all I could wish for," he said with an adoring gaze to Freed, "but I want them to feed more poor people."
Freed smiled, adoring the generosity in Laxus. He really did care about issues for the downtrodden, and that made him amazing in Freed's eyes.
They climbed up many steps to Campidoglio, which Freed explained was designed by Michelangelo himself. Just beyond that was a vast archaeological site, remains of marble columns, temples that crumbled after their gods were abandoned to the upstart Christian faith, which culminated with the Colosseum. Laxus roamed around the inside, shaking his head.
"Can you imagine, being a gladiator here, roaring crowds, fighting to the death?"
Freed gazed over at him. "If I believed in reincarnation, I'm sure you were a gladiator in your previous life."
"I would've fought for you," he said right away.
Freed blushed and leaned into him. "I wouldn't want you to fight to the death. You know, for a few centuries, Roman soldiers were not allowed to marry, so they would take a male sex slave to satisfy them."
Laxus wrapped an arm around Freed's waist. "A sex slave, huh?" he whispered in a low growl. "Are you saying I'd make a good centurion?"
Freed sidled up close and gazed up at him with ardent eyes. "I wouldn't mind seeing you in a uniform."
"Maybe we'll do that for Halloween. Roman soldier and his sexy slave."
"One other historical fact: if the sex slave was particularly well-endowed, they were forbidden from covering up their genitals. It was a sign of prestige to have your slave show off his goods in front of guests."
"Well, obviously you'd be naked all the time, then. Maybe for Halloween, we'll have another party at our house. Or maybe I'll find a good Roman mask for you, take you to the club, and show you off again. Show everyone my talented Roman sex slave."
Freed barely held back a moan.
Laxus wanted to lean in and kiss him—his lips looked so inviting—but he heard once again the sound of a camera shutter. He spun toward Jason and sneered at the photographer.
"È perfetto, signori. Sento l'amore."
"The hell is he saying," Laxus grumbled.
"I think that he feels the love between us."
"Ya think he'd wanna photograph you sucking my cock? Now that is a picture I'd want."
Freed's eyes narrowed. "No. He's a professional."
"Which means he's probably been asked, and maybe he likes that sorta thing."
Freed pulled away. "Let's head back."
"Oh, come on, Freed! It's a joke."
As Freed walked off, Jason came up to Laxus. "Il tuo ragazzo … your boyfriend, he is … qual è la parola … carino … cute! He is very cute."
Laxus smiled smugly. "Damn right he is."
"Damn right!" Jason said excitedly. "You both so cool!"
Laxus looked down at him. "Now that I know you think my boyfriend's cute, I definitely don't want you photographing him in the buff."
"Buff?" Jason asked, obviously confused.
Laxus walked over to a bench where Freed had sat down, stretching out his legs. Laxus took a seat next to him.
"Sorry if I went too far."
"It's fine. I'm sorry I'm keeping you so busy. You probably wanted other things for this vacation."
"Hey, we have only one day in Rome. Of course we have to push ourselves to see it all. It's been a hell of a fun day."
Freed looked up with hopefulness. "Really? Are you really having fun with all this?"
"Freed…" He looked around. "We're at the fucking Colosseum. Do you have any idea how amazing that is? We've seen buildings that have been around since before Christ. We've walked where emperors and popes have walked. This whole day has been almost too much. It's a culture shock and too insanely amazing for my brain to wrap around it all. Having fun? I'm having the best day of my life!"
Freed snuggled into him. "Really?"
Laxus wrapped an arm around him. "Look, do I wanna chain you up in the basement of the Colosseum or throw you over the altar in the middle of the Sistine Chapel and fuck your ass? Of course I do. But we'll have time for bedroom stuff later. Right now, let's enjoy everything Rome can give us. Grasp it all up with full greediness!" He saw a group of tourists eating cups of gelato, and glancing around at the plaza, he saw a vendor selling the dessert. "Hey, you want a little something sweet before we head back to the hotel?"
"Sure!" Freed said in excitement.
"You stay here. Rest your legs."
With a swift kiss, Laxus left Freed sitting on the bench and pulled out his wallet as he walked over to the gelato cart.
Freed stretched out stiff legs and sore feet. He began to think about what Laxus said. Sex in the Sistine Chapel … no. The part of him that had been raised a Christian and who still at least respected religious sites would never do that. But chained in the basement of the Colosseum…
He bit his lip as he thought about that. Maybe there was a secret way to get in after hours. Surely illegal! But still … how amazing would that be. A real dungeon, not just some trendy pub converted for one night of debauchery.
But he had something else to look forward to that night. They had that opulent room. Instead of a slave, maybe he could convince Laxus to treat him like a Roman Emperor and worship his whole body.
While his mind was on naughty things, Freed did not really notice the busy passing traffic, not until he felt a tug on his shoulder. He had rested his satchel on the edge of the bench, only loosely still on his arm. Now he watched in horror as some young man ran off.
"Hey!" Freed shouted. "Purse snatcher!"
At the shout, Laxus turned around. He ignored the cups of gelato as he watched Freed racing after some hoodlum barreling through the plaza.
"Thief! Thief!" Freed shouted.
"Fuck," Laxus growled, and he ran after them. "Freed!"
Laxus watched in horrified astonishment as Freed managed to catch the thief and tackled him to the ground. The man hit the road hard, and they both skidded to a stop with Freed trying to keep the man shoved down flat.
"Freed, stop!"
Feeling like he was in a nightmare and unable to run fast enough, Laxus watched as the hoodlum spun around to face Freed, reached into his pocket and pulled out a knife.
"No!" he screamed.
With frightening dexterity, Freed punched the forearm holding the knife, knocking it aside just long enough to grab the satchel. Freed yanked the bag in front of him just as the man made a stab. The blade went through the leather, completely embedding. Freed then yanked the satchel, ripping the blade out of the man's hands, and tossed it aside. He delivered a swift punch to the man's face, and while his eyes were close, Freed leaped up and stomped hard on the man's groin. Instantly, the young man curled into a ball, screaming Italian profanity.
Laxus finally reached them while Freed was rubbing out his knuckles. "What the fuck was that?" he bellowed. He did not have time to be angry, though. He grabbed the thief into an immobilizing hold, twisting his arms behind his back. "Call the police."
"On it," Freed said. He picked up his satchel with the knife still in it and pulled his phone out.
While Freed talked in struggling Italian to the police, Laxus seethed in rage at the thief.
"If it were up to me, I would fucking dissect you!"
The youth began to protest and struggle.
"Oh, you're not getting away, you motherfucking dickwad. If I have to break both of your legs, I will, just to make sure you end up in a prison. My boyfriend's lawyer will make sure you get attempted murder with a deadly weapon. I'm gonna look up later how long you'll rot in jail for that charge, and when you get out, you better hope I don't track you down and finish you off."
"Laxus!" Freed snapped, covering the receiver of the phone, lest the police hear the threats.
Laxus bit back anything more. He was seething as the fear turned to rage.
He could have lost Freed. He could have helplessly watched him get stabbed.
His hold on the man tightened in burning fury. "You better pray for a long sentence, fucker."
Minutes later, police arrived, and Laxus finally let go of the man. A translator was present, and Freed did all the talking, showing his satchel with the knife still in it as proof, plus the gelato man gave a statement, saying he saw the whole thing. Not only that, but Jason had been furiously snapping pictures the whole time, excited to get to photograph real action and not just tourists posing by the same old places. Jason gushed out in wildly animated Italian, detailing every action, and eagerly showing police, onlookers, anyone he could some of the pictures of the dramatic scene.
As lights flashed around in the plaza, Laxus slipped to the side. He felt like he was sinking.
He almost lost him.
He had felt similar to this with the bear attack. Freed ran toward danger, fearless and in this case one hell of a bad ass. Still, Laxus did not like feeling like he was too weak to save Freed. The thought of losing him was unbearable, and his head sank between his knees.
A few minutes later, Freed walked over to him and put a hand on Laxus' hunched shoulder. The eyes that looked up were emotionally drained.
"There's a taxi," Freed said softly. "I'm about to send Jason back home as well, but it sounds like one of the news channels wants our permission to use a photo of his for a little story. Is that okay?"
"Are you okay with that?" Laxus said numbly.
"I don't mind. It could look good for my image back home. You know, more than a pretty boy heir to a family fortune."
"Then it's fine. Just don't show my face." Laxus sank back again, running his fingers through his disheveled hair. "I didn't do a damn thing."
"You held him until police arrived. I might not have had the strength to do that—"
"Then you shouldn't have fucking chased him!"
The sudden outburst shocked Laxus just as much as it startled Freed and others who had gathered around. Laxus cursed and sank his head back down.
"Fine. If you're not ashamed of being seen in public with me, go ahead."
"Laxus," Freed whispered, wanting to comfort him.
Laxus suddenly bolted to his feet. "Is that the taxi?" he asked, nodding to a waiting car.
"Um, yes…"
"Then I'll be in it while you work things out with Jason." He stomped off and climbed into the taxi.
Freed sighed with a worried pout.
It was a quiet ride back to the hotel. Laxus gazed out at the passing buildings, ancient mixed with modern, holding his mouth as he felt sick for so many reasons.
The ride up the elevator to the room was awkward. Freed was just now starting to really feel the shock, and he clutched the ruined satchel like a security blanket. They walked to their room, but inside, they had no idea what to do next.
Laxus finally looked at Freed and saw he was finally experiencing shock. He gently tugged on the satchel, but he felt how Freed gripped it with firm strength.
"It's safe now," Laxus whispered.
Hearing that but still staring ahead blankly, Freed let go. Laxus set the bag to the side and pulled Freed into a comforting hug.
"You're safe," he whispered, kissing the top of his head.
"Sorry," he whispered. "It's just all replaying through my head. I wasn't thinking about anything in the moment other than getting my bag back, but now … now it's hitting me."
"You should not have done that."
Freed pulled back and looked up. "I'm not helpless, and I'm probably quicker than you. If I'm protecting something, of course I can fight."
"It was just some purse!"
"No." Freed opened the bag, set aside their passports, and pulled out a familiar box. Inside was the pocket watch Laxus had bought him as an anniversary gift. "I put it in there so I wouldn't forget to wear it tonight. I can't have some hoodlum take such a special thing."
Laxus stared at the pocket watch's Celtic design, and he felt rage all over again. "For that? Freed, I got it at the mall."
"This is engraved. It's a special gift from you."
"Freed!" He turned aside, battling too many emotions. "Fuck! Okay, listen up. I'm proud of you, you fought well, but seriously, don't risk your life over some watch. I can buy you another one. Just … don't put yourself in danger over a purse, okay?"
"It's a satchel, not a purse."
"You know what I fucking mean!" Laxus bellowed. "Things can be replaced, but you … I can't replace you."
Freed now wrapped his arms around Laxus. He rested his head on his shoulder and stroked his back like calming down a scared cat. "I saw you running as well. You planned to tackle him, didn't you?"
"I was running after you."
"No, I saw in your eyes, you were planning to nab him yourself. How can you tell me not to risk myself, yet want to do the same thing?"
"Because I'm stronger."
"And slower."
"He had a knife!"
"Please, I'm a trained swordsman and I took martial arts classes to know how to disarm someone wielding a knife or gun. Do you know how to disarm an attacker? I don't think so!"
"Just … don't, okay? What would I do if you got injured?"
"Nurse me back to health; what would I do if you died?" he asked quickly before Laxus had a chance to ask the same thing.
Laxus scowled. He could not really demand that Freed not put himself in danger when he was about to do the same thing. He stroked down Freed's hair and gradually crushed him in a massive, possessive, desperate hug.
"I am going to worship you tonight," he whispered, kissing the top of Freed's head while staring at the opulent bed waiting for them. "And I am going to punish you so fucking hard for scaring me like that. But first…" He pulled back and caressed Freed's cheek. "You said we had dinner reservations. Can we still make it?"
Freed looked stunned. "Do you still want to go?"
"You said this was your special splurge. Are you okay to go? Do you hurt anywhere?"
Freed looked down to his hand where there was faint bruising on his knuckles. "I'm generally okay."
Laxus took up his hand and kissed the bruises. "You seriously punched hard. It was awesome to see. Scared the shit out of me, but still … you've got moves. As expected of the man I love."
Freed wrapped his arms around Laxus and cuddled into his chest. "Shower with me, and don't leave my side for the rest of the night."
Laxus enveloped him in a warm hug. "Not a chance. I obviously have to keep a close eye on my pet."
Freed chuckled softly. "How about naughty slave?"
"Is that what you wanna be?"
"You've got me thinking about Colosseum dungeon sex now."
"Good!"
They showered off the sweat of a long day of sightseeing, dressed in their suits, and took another taxi out of town and up into the hills, to Rome Cavalieri, a Waldorf Astoria hotel that looked like an emperor's palace built to look down on the minions of his realm.
Poor Freed was more concerned with making sure Laxus did not vomit on his new bespoke suit, and the curvy road up into the Roman hills was not of any help. When they arrived, luckily the staff were swift to see his queasiness and swept him inside with cucumber water and offers of crackers to settle the stomach. With his best Italian, Freed thanked them, but Laxus took only a few minutes to recover from his carsickness.
"Don't push yourself," Freed urged.
Laxus just smiled and patted his hand. "This is a special dinner for you. You even said, this was your own personal splurge, and you've been wanting to go here for a long time. I'm not going to mess it up for you." He glared at the hotel doors. "I can't promise I won't throw up the fancy-ass food on our way back down that hill, though."
"Then how about we order you something with small portions, and we'll take your recommendation for spaghetti takeout when we get back to the hotel."
"Now you're talkin'!" He rose to his feet, finding them sturdy under him once more. "Are you sure you won't be upset if I order one of those weirdo tiny plates?"
"Dear, you'd look brilliantly refined if you did. Plus it's a ten-course meal. You'll have ten of those weirdo tiny plates."
"How much is this meal gonna cost you? And don't say you don't want to know. This is your splurge to yourself. I wanna know how much money you're willing to blow when you really go all out and treat yourself."
Freed chuckled, as he was about to say once again that Laxus probably did not want to know the cost, but he decided to be honest. "Euros to U.S. dollars, $350."
"For both of us?"
"Per meal, but remember, it's a ten-course dinner."
"I better get fuckin' gold leaf."
"That can absolutely be arranged."
"I saw on YouTube that it turns into gold glitter in your shit."
"That's mildly disturbing, and try to refrain from talking like that through dinner." Freed muttered to himself, "And now I'm rather against eating anything with gold leaf."
"No, you should!" Laxus leaned down right into Freed's ear and whispered, "I'm curious if it'll make your asshole glittery."
Freed's face instantly went to solid red, and Laxus burst out in a laugh.
They made their way to the restaurant, and Laxus immediately realized that Freed had not been exaggerating that morning when he said "If you thought the other places back home were fancy, they look like a Pizza Hut in comparison to this place." He was now glad he got cultural shock out of his system with their fancy room and a walk through the Vatican. He could glance around at this Michelin three-star restaurant and just think to himself, "Yeah, this is a splurge."
It was what Freed wanted for himself, so he was not going to freak out, complain, or insist this was way too expensive. Freed deserved the best, Laxus firmly believed that, and if this was one of the best restaurants in the world, well dammit, he was going to let his boyfriend indulge.
No, he was going to encourage him to indulge in every luxury.
They ordered the ten-course meal, and as the hors d'oeuvres came out, Laxus gazed at Freed with utter adoration. He at least looked like this was what he was born into. Even nibbling on goat cheese crostini, Freed was so elegant, keeping up a conversation about what they had seen that day, as if explaining every historical site was not enough. Laxus knew that more than one diner must have glanced twice at him, such a brawny man with a scar on his face, looking like part of the Mafia. Yet one glance at Freed put any minds at rest.
Here was a man who could have dined with royalty and easily upstaged them!
The soup came, and Laxus was glad that this fully settled his stomach.
"It's really good," he finally said.
Freed burst into a delighted grin that rivaled the Roman city lights outside. "It truly is, right?"
"I'm surprised we didn't stay at this hotel."
"Oh…" Once again, Freed looked awkwardly bashful. "Well, my family has stayed here before, so it's not exactly novel. We just didn't eat here. I was a child, Bickslow and Evergreen were toddlers, and it's not exactly the sort of place for young children."
"A kid could never appreciate how good this food is. Hell, I barely understand stuff like sauces, I just know it's fu- … dang good."
Freed giggled softly at Laxus really putting effort into etiquette. "I'm glad you're enjoying it. I know it's a little selfish."
Laxus set his soup spoon down, reached across the table, and took Freed's hand. "Be selfish. Go crazy. Spoil yourself until you're sick of luxury. You know I'll be there to bring you back into reality."
Freed's cheeks flushed. Yes, Laxus would bring him back, with humility and pain and pleasure and his own rough-edged love. "Tonight—"
"Don't think about tonight. Live completely in this moment, right here. Remember it for the rest of your life. I know I will!"
When those turquoise eyes with their long lashes turned up to him, Laxus felt his heart skip a beat. He had to drop his eyes as his face got warmer.
"Damn, you're beautiful," he whispered, so soft Freed could not hear him.
Their next course arrived, and Freed looked excited. "Have you ever had truffles?"
Laxus had to laugh as he shrugged. "I dunno, have I?"
"I think you'll like it."
With each course, while Laxus thought most of the servings were comically small, he still tried his best to enjoy each bite. He calculated in his head, at $350 for this dinner, just how much money was in every bite of food? While he could not justify the worth of what he saw as just food, it was the faces from Freed, the glow of his eyes, and purely being there in the presence of him that was worth it to Laxus.
This experience: it was priceless.
At last they came to dessert, and sure enough, there was gold leaf.
"I am seriously almost scared to eat it," Laxus had to admit, poking at the gold and seeing how it crumbled so easily.
"It's edible," Freed assured him. "Do you know the funny thing? I learned this from our family's pastry chef one day. Gold leaf is actually not all that expensive. You can get thirty sheets of the stuff for under ten dollars. It's just really hard to work with, and it looks fancy."
Laxus leaned in and whispered, "Does it really turn your poop gold?"
Free chuckled and smirked. "We'll find out tonight."
"I have something I want to say, but I know it is definitely not appropriate here."
"Then tell me later, dear."
Laxus took his first bite of the dessert. "Holy—! That's good."
Freed looked smug. "And the cost was worth it just for that face."
Laxus looked stunned at Freed. Had he also wanted this to spoil him? Here he spent the whole dinner thinking this was just a splurge for Freed, and that smooth, sexy devil had been waiting to truly tempt him with sinful opulence.
"You made this a perfect day," Laxus praised, and he raised his glass. "Happy anniversary."
They clinked glasses together, and in the warm glow of candlelight, they enjoyed their dessert.
While they had to take a taxi back down the hill and into the city, Freed offered to lessen the trip by stopping by the river. Although they had walked all morning, they could stroll together back to the hotel and give the food time to settle.
Arm in arm, they strolled along the River Tiber. What a peaceful, simple, romantic end to a day that Laxus was sure would take him years to fully process.
"I'm glad you didn't take me to a place like that too early on," Laxus mentioned. "I definitely would have panicked."
"You practically did many times we went out to regular restaurants," Freed pointed out.
"They weren't regular to someone like me. At least I know which fork to use now."
Freed laughed openly, merrily, gripping Laxus' arm. He gazed out at the river lit up with the city lights.
"I'm glad you're here with me."
Laxus paused, pulled Freed to face him, and tipped up his head. "I'm glad too."
He leaned in, and they kissed as somewhere a street musician played a love song on an accordion. When Laxus leaned back, he felt himself getting lost in those blue-green eyes.
"You're so precious to me."
Freed's mouth dropped, and he immediately looked away with embarrassment. "I swear, when you say things like that, I just don't know what to say back."
"Then say nothing."
Freed nodded, and instead he tiptoed to kiss Laxus again. Then they both broke into laughs. It felt strange to be so romantic … strange but right.
They continued on with deliberate slowness, wanting to drag the night on a little longer. Freed cringed as his feet, trapped in new, fancy shoes he bought specifically for this dinner, began to hurt.
"Hey, can we rest a little?"
"Of course. Should we call a taxi to take us the rest of the way?"
Freed was shocked Laxus would actually suggest that. Then again, he probably saw that he was in real pain. "Maybe. Let's rest by that fountain first."
They walked to a fountain with marble statues, lit up with aquatic blues. Freed happily sat and stretched out his feet.
"See, this is why I hate new shoes," Laxus said. "When we get to the room, I'll give you a foot rub."
"That'd be nice."
"And a soak in that jacuzzi."
Freed smirked seductively. "Hopefully more than a soak."
Laxus slid his fingers along Freed's neck. "Didn't you say, that was a waste of the bed?"
Freed felt a chill go through his body at Laxus' soft touch. "We could always test out both."
Laxus suddenly grabbed Freed's chin and turned it toward him. "This is what I like to hear."
Before the slow seduction could continue, a group of teenagers walked by, and Laxus pulled away, almost forgetting they were in public.
"Let's call that taxi. The sooner I get you in private, the better."
Next Chapter: "Like an Emperor"
A/N: I am so, so, so, soooooooo sorry for vanishing for a year. I last updated this in March 28, 2020. Five days earlier, Oregon (where I live) had gone into lockdown. My husband was a bit needy during those first few weeks, and I wanted to be there for him emotionally as he adjusted to working from home, and the fear of if he would continue to have a job.
I had actually written a whole "sending love to Italy" Author's Note at the end of this chapter, thinking I would have it finished in a few days. We all thought, maybe this would last two months, not realizing Covid was about to become a global tragedy that would last over a year and take many of my friends' family members and leave some of my family struggling to survive.
Due to preexisting health conditions, my husband went super-protective and took care of anything that involved going outside, like checking the mail or taking out trash. I didn't even step outside of my apartment for four months. It wasn't great on my mental health (understatement of the year!) and I found myself unable to focus on writing. I just totally shut down, and by August I was having symptoms of severe depression. Anything fanfic-related that I updated during that time was prewritten. (I know a lot of you complained that I was updating "Dangerous Territory" and nothing else. Well, that story is 80% finished in rough draft form, so I just had to proofread. This story is only finished as an outline.)
This chapter involved Freed and Laxus being outside, sightseeing, being in public, taking the subway and taxis, eating at restaurants … all things that reminded me harshly of what my life lacked as I lost track of days and months in lockdown. It didn't help that researching for this chapter was severely impeded because Italy was in Covid lockdown. That meant some websites which I bookmarked back in 2019 in preparation for this chapter no longer had the information I was hoping to find. Restaurants? Closed due to Covid. Museums? Closed due to Covid. The Vatican?! Closed due to Covid.
It was so emotionally painful to see all these signs of how bad this pandemic was, eventually I just couldn't bring myself to open the document. For 11 months, I didn't even touch "Catch the Thunder." I couldn't!
I admit, I shut down due to extremely poor mental health. I'm doing better, but some days I just crumble under a complete emotional breakdown. It's a struggle, but I have an amazing husband to help me day by day.
I'm really sorry if this chapter seems choppy at times. I had this grand vision for the Roman Tour chapters, and I started to write it at THE WORST TIME POSSIBLE. Also, after taking a year off, I leaped in and just pressed onward, determined to get something done before I reached one year on hiatus. I'm curious if people can tell where I left off in 2020 and where I jumped back into the story a year later. I hope it's not too awful.
Anyway, that's my (later to be deleted) explanation for my hiatus. I'm doing better, and I'm thankful to everyone who was patient and supportive. I hope this chapter brings a little joy into your life.
–
(FYI, on AO3 I have photos of all these places and items. It's basically a photojournal chapter. FFN doesn't allow images or links so this chapter is a lot less colorful.)
Cornettos - so dang good! Bavarian cream filled are my favorite, but chocolate comes a close second!
Satchel - Men carrying a satchel became very popular around here a while back. My husband grumbled about "men with purses" until he realized how useful it can be and began to use one as well. (We're working on undoing the toxic masculinity environment he was raised in.) Freed's satchel is, of course, high quality leather, although not too crazy for just being a tourist travel bag. A Shinola satchel is ONLY $700 at Bloomingdale's. Sometimes in purse-snatching, the purse is worth more than anything inside.
Sartoria Ripense – Real place, and one of the best bespoke suit tailors in Rome. Of course Freed would want to go to THE BEST. (I would love to see my husband in a bespoke suit some day.)
McDonald's – I went on a Google Maps streetview tour of Rome, following their journey, and saw that they would pass by a McDonald's. Can you imagine, going to Italy and eating a Big Mac?
The Vatican – I could gush about the Vatican for hours. I did way too much research for that place, which was partly why this took me months, and I ended up unable to really articulate just what an experience it is. I had a plan of mapping out precisely where they would go and describing every fountain and statue, but it's just too much! Even vicariously on a virtual tour, it's awe inspiring. There's really no easy way to describe it in words. I'm not Catholic, but I would love to see it one day.
Roman soldiers and sex slaves - From 25 BC until the reign of Septimus Severus in 193 AD, Roman soldiers were not allowed to marry. Female prostitutes were seen as immoral, but a male sex slave was socially acceptable, so long as the Roman soldier assumed the "top" position. An erastes-pais relationship was a somewhat older man, between 18-30, and a younger adolescent, usually between 13-18, although a beloved pais could continue to serve their master their whole life, even after the soldier was discharged and married. In fact, there is ample evidence that the "Centurion and Slave" mentioned in the Bible were such a relationship. The Centurion refers to the sick youth as pais, hinting the slave was his erastes-pais. If the sick one was merely a slave, there is no logical reason why a Centurion would specifically call him his pais and BEG Jesus to heal him, or why Jesus would bless their devotion to one another.
So yep, Jesus helped a gay couple. Throw THAT at your homophobic relatives.
Pick-pocketing and purse-snatching – Someone who lives in Rome warned me that if I ever go there (which is on my bucket list) never have a wallet in your back pocket or an easily-stealable purse, especially around the Colosseum. Due to the place being full tourists who aren't paying attention as they gaze at the arena, theft is super common there, and even locals keep a tighter hold on things if they go near any of the usual tourist spots, especially that one.
Also, seriously, if you find yourself being threatened with a knife, don't try to knock it out of the person's hand or any of the fancy self-defense tricks you see on YouTube. 99% of them are utter bullshit in a real-world situation. It's incredibly hard for even a muscular person to knock a knife out of a person's hand, and attempting those martial art maneuvers you see will get you killed. They are useless, provably bullshit, and they only apply if you literally have no escape route and don't mind getting massively lacerated. The best defense when someone pulls a knife is to RUN THE HELL AWAY, and if you can't easily turn and run, give them a kick in the nuts or punch to the boob, THEN run away.
La Pergola – I wanted Freed to pick the absolute BEST restaurant in Rome, and La Pergola continuously topped the lists online. It is the only three-star Michelin restaurant in Rome, and it is located in the Rome Cavalieri hotel.
And yes, their 10 course meal is €290, which is $346 (US), $432 (Canadian), $446 (AUD), £249, ₹25205, 25500, ¥37780… just getting across, it's one hell of a meal. I mean sheesh! I felt ripped off paying $36 for two chicken tender meals in a Postmates "ghost kitchen" scam. (Still pissed at Red Robin for doing that, since I'm a club member and could have earned points. Their trickery literally cost me money! Not gonna boycott or scream "Cancel Red Robin" or anything, just gonna personally not eat there for probably a year or two. They still have a good ghost chili burger.)
I actually considered having Laxus and Freed stay at Rome Cavalieri early on, but I opted for something in the city, where they could walk around and see historic sites at any time. It is absolutely the sort of place Freed's family would have stayed while on a family vacation
Gold leaf – I was introduced to edible gold leaf by the YouTube series Worth It. Yes, this is REAL gold that's super thin, maybe one micron thick. You can eat gold because it does not get absorbed into the body. This is why some medical implants are made of gold. For edible gold leaf, you need super pure gold without all the impurities. Freed is right in that it really is not that expensive. I found on Amazon 100 gold leaf sheets for $13. Of course, brand name companies sell them for MUCH higher (like $60 for 30 sheets) but so long as it's 23-24 carat gold, it's all good. You tend to see gold leaf on food that's over $100, and the leaf itself isn't really that expensive. A couple dollars a sheet, at most. It's all the specialty ingredients that make the food super expensive, but if you're going to pay $2000 for a truffle and caviar pizza, why not sprinkle on some gold leaf and make the customer think it's THAT much more special. In the end, gold leaf has no taste, no nutritional value, no medicinal value, it's just a garnish and a gimmick to make something look even fancier.
As for the "you poop out gold glitter," I thank Stephen on Worth It for letting me know that weird little fact.
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