Transaction

Disclaimer: Blah, blah, blah.

Author’s Notes: As a Brand New song goes: This is the end/this story's old but it goes on and on until it disappears...
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Transaction

Chapter Seventy-Six
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Tohma was sitting next to Taki. At least the other man was next to him. The were backstage watching the band from the sidelines without being in the way of the techs. Tohma didn't want to be out in the crowd, and this way he could see all the hard work Kenji and the others had put into it.

They were into the second song now, and Kenji was a hit so far. He'd picked up the dance, the girl was beautiful, and Kenji was winning over the crowd.

They must like skinny pale guys.

The blond felt nervous. He didn't know why. Having Taki next to him and how quiet they were. No feedback to one another or anything like that. Slowly, hesitantly Tohma took his hand and placed it over one of Taki's, and his heart started beating a little faster.

Tohma's hand was thin and dry over his. Gloveless. Taki ignored it, defiantly ignored the way it was making his heart ache. He wanted to pull away and make Tohma keep his distance, but couldn't. He wasn't ready to let go the way he knew he had to.

His eyes narrowed as Kenji moved away from the girl, giving her a smile as he sang and a hand up to keep her where she was. His hand tightened under Tohma's, turning to hold on because he had to have something to grip.

If Kenji...

The way Kenji sang, it sounded as if he were suppressing laughter, like he were in on some great joke that no one else knew about. He sidled toward Haido's keyboard and looped one thin arm around Haido's shoulders. It might have been taken as a friendly gesture, but Taki knew better.

That arm was only around Haido's shoulders because Kenji was too tall to get him around the waist.

It was timed just right. The choreographer had certainly taught Kenji something about timing. Keiko's guitar solo kicked in as Kenji's smile widened to the point where he couldn't sing, and his voice sounded soft and private as it murmured over the speakers, "I love you. Always, forever - just you."

And then he did it.

Taki lurched forward as Kenji kissed Haido, much to the appreciation of the crowd, which screamed its joy. It was only Tohma's tightened hold on his hand that kept him from making it to the stage to tear them apart.

There was something about happy couples that just pissed him off tonight.

Tohma felt Taki stiffen under him. He frowned deeply watching the performance on stage. They'd been quiet now for some time. He'd been watching the entire show through the eyes of both a spectator and a music inclined businessman.

Kenji was doing well. New, obviously. Tohma liked the sound, the dancing was (of course) well suited to the music. Then things got weird during the last song.

And it happened.

Tohma let his head roll back and he stared up at the ceiling. This was ridiculous.

"We'll be talking to them after the concert?" the blond asked Taki, gripping the other man's hand tighter, knowing he was the anchor keeping him from going onstage.

Taki made a noncommittal sound of approval, finally yanking his hand from Tohma's and turning away from the stage. He couldn't watch that anymore, and certainly couldn't do it while Tohma was holding onto him.

Suddenly, backstage seemed too tight, too closed in. He moved away with a desperate sense of purpose, heading for the green sign up ahead that flashed the word, "Exit!" over and over.

To him, exit was the same as escape. He had to get out of this mess.

Tohma watched Taki leave, unhappy at the recent chain of events. Kenji had ruined a beautiful dance routine and a great concert, outed himself and Haido with no thought about anyone else.

Did he know if Haido wanted to be announced as gay yet? Especially to a worldwide media. This wasn't just friends and family. At least it was good publicity.

The stage lights went out to the screams of the crowd and the blonde got up, since he didn't want to face Opium yet. Instead, he left out the same exit door that Taki had gone through, the heavy door closing with a gusty thunk.

Immediately, the cold air hit him, hard. Tohma wished for his long coat and hat and gloves. He'd left them in a room backstage. The wind was strong and chilled, pushing around the little, soft flurries of snow that had seemed to start falling about an hour ago. It laid thinly across the ground and he searched for Taki, who was a dark, shadowed figure against the blue black sky.

"Taki?" he asked, wrapping his arms around himself, walking closer. "Are you alright?"

"Fine." Taki bit off without turning to look who had followed him. Who else? Even if Tohma hadn't spoken, Taki would have known.

But, what was he supposed to tell Tohma? The truth? No, he wasn't fine. He was angry at Kenji and Haido for being happy when he couldn't. He was angry at Tohma for not thinking ahead, for not being more careful. He was bitter, he was frustrated, and he wanted...

He wanted Tohma.

"I'm fine," he lied again, firmer now.

It didn't matter that there was at least an inch of snow on the ground, darkening the hems of his pants where they hesitated before the ground. The cold didn't bother him. Tohma was all he had focused on, and all he wanted to go away.

And he knew that the only way to do that was to remove himself from the situation.

He didn't believe that one single bit. Taki was lying, nothing new under times of stress, but he wanted to be heard. He hadn't gotten to finish before, and it seemed like he might not be heard now. The ex singer wanted nothing to do with him.

Tohma figured Taki knew what he was thinking better than the blonde did himself.

"Taki, please," he said, stepping in front of the dark haired man, trying to will him to look into his eyes. "Look at me. I never got to finish what I was saying before the concert. Please."

Taki looked, but he didn't want to hear. He didn't try to move around Tohma, though he certainly wanted to, - being this close to Tohma made him want to touch him, and that wouldn't help their situation - but looked up at him instead.

That inch difference used to drive him crazy. It didn't bother him so much, now.

Tohma sighed, watching his breath plume out in a fine, white smoke. Just hot air connecting with cold. That was kind of how they had been. Hot and cold. They were opposites, and still they had managed well together. They had been strange and tumultuous, but Tohma realized he'd been happy to work at getting Taki. Happy to make him happy.

Slowly, he released his numb grip around his thin arms and placed his hands on the sides of the other man's face. They were both cold, so the blond didn't worry about it at all. Tohma leaned in for one last kiss, taking what he could because Taki had every right to leave forever after this.

"I didn't want you to be second to anything," he whispered when he pulled back.

The blond stepped back and had nothing left to say. There were many more things he wanted to say, but he couldn't. He didn't want Taki to be second, but his child had to come first.

Left with his silent thoughts, he walked away from Taki, watching the snow fall endlessly from the dark sky.

He couldn't breathe.

It was hard to remind himself that he had to, because Tohma was walking away from him. Taki started to tell him to wait, got so far as, "T-" and stopped himself. What would he say? How could he respond to something like that?

He couldn't, and it wasn't just his pride that wouldn't let him. Covering his mouth with a hand, Taki held in a shaky breath as he let Tohma go.
~~~
Author's Notes: Starting with Kel~ I want to say that we had everything planned so far as this story goes, but we didn't. We made the early mistake of not giving Tohma and Taki a past relationship, so when I suggested a quick one shot, we had to actually get them together - which I'm sure you've realized takes a lot more than a few pages.

Anyway, Taki has been the most dynamic character I've ever written. And, go figure, he's still a favorite. There are parts of this story that I absolutely adore - like, say, Taki's little rants at Tohma on the stairs, or in the elevator. I like that he's not quite forgiven Tohma for shoving him in front of a car, and that he hasn't completely recovered.

I don't particularly like how focused this story became toward the end, but that's always been hard for me to avoid.

Now, some shameless, but necessary, promotion.

We have a sequel. A sequel that looks to be only half the length of Transaction. But, I like the characterization Taki takes on in the next even better than this, and some of the twists and major hoops he has to go through, somehow dragging Tohma through with him, and just maybe a few extra.

XxX

And Kel, though younger than I, always has a better way of putting these things. Damn you, Kel!

It's very true. Tohma was always my favorite from the beginning of my journey into Gravitation. I love the evil types, and who oozed more than Tohma? Who had more self confidence and obvious flair for fashion? Tohma. And in all honesty, I was very gungho about being cannon with all these characters when I first got into it. I didn't want to mess with what already seemed perfect until a few too many crazy nights and bad fics online.

And this is where I met, Kel! Not saying her fic was bad. I just met her through it.

One thing I'd like to argue is that, in a sense, we DID give them a past relationship. We brought it in bit by bit with outbursts and narration. Their only other relationship had been a working one. A professional one.

I mean, after awhile, I stopped thinking of it as a oneshot. No way this could pass!

As far as the shameless plugging goes, I shall join in! Yes, the sequel I've been pushing in these AN's for a few chapters now. It's entitled 'Snowfall', as I'm sure you guys can see why now. It's slowly being pieced together although we're making a lot of progress. We don't know where it's going until we hit turning points. In a sense, this is like real life. We're making these decisions spur of the moment as we come up with them.

As far as where this sequel leaves Opium... it's hard to say. Yes, we slowly got rid of them in this fic. It wasn't intentional, because I would've loved to learn more about Haido, personally. It just happened.

Kel, anything else?

XxX

Nope. That looks like it's it. And, your way with words is wonderful, don't damn me. Rather, re-damn me. Meanie.

Then from both of us to all of you, THANK YOU FOR READING TRANSACTION! Please be sure to look out for the sequel. While this story was a constant work in progress and Snowfall currently has no real direction, it's making constant steady progress every day! For those of you that stuck through the end, we thank you.

Thank you and see you soon!

~Subby