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Fight Me, Bite Me	By : Rhov Category: +. to F > Fairy Tail Views: 39446 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 3
Disclaimer: Fairy Tail is the property of Hiro Mashima. I make no money, I just do this for my own pleasure.

Chapter List
- 77
- 78
Hello, everyone, Rhov here.
It's good to be back! Sorry for the hiatus. I desperately needed a long break due to chronic mental health issues that were exacerbated by Covid lockdowns and losing some family during the pandemic. I'm doing better, but please be patient with me.
Now, let's get right back into this story. I miss it so much!
Chapter 78
Scars of a Buried Past

Ropes creaked, the air was thick with musk, sweat, and the sweet smell of lube. Natsu was stretched up toward the ceiling, his wrists bound, flushed, erect, his ass dripping white from earlier play, naked except for a white collar around his neck with the words "Beloved" on it, and a steel cockring.
"Tighter!"
"You may lose circulation."
"I won't. Tighter!"
Ever since the beach trip, Gray had noticed that Natsu liked to be restrained a lot more tightly. He begged for more bondage, either full-body icing or ropes across most of his body, like today. Gray wondered if it had any deeper meaning, but when he had tried to ask, Natsu said he did not think so. He just really, strongly felt a desire to be tied up.
Not that Gray minded one bit! It was training his knot-tying skills.
"Ahhhh!"
"I told you it's too tight."
"No … No, it's good. I don't want to be able to move."
"I mentioned this before. There are gimp suits I could buy to help with that. Some of them completely immobilize you."
Natsu shuddered deeply at the thought. "Yes, something like that."
"Looks like I need a shopping trip."
"What about … a suit … of ice?"
Gray smirked with a lustful glint in his eyes. "I love it when you're more kinky than me."
In a flash of pale blue magic, a lattice of ice crystallized over Natsu's body like a second skin. If he moved, he could feel the sharp coldness, but if he stayed still then it was only a radiant chill.
"Yesssss!" Natsu hissed.
Head to toe, it covered him, with only openings for his mouth and his cock. Gray stepped back, admiring the sight of Natsu strung up from the ceiling and wearing a glittering, icy suit that completely immobilized him.
"That is beautiful," he whispered.
Natsu blushed at the compliment.
"Let me…" Gray knelt before Natsu and ran his hand up the lattice of ice, up to the cock that stuck out like a mushroom in a snowy field. He could not help but lick it and slide it into his mouth until his nose hit the ice.
"Oh God, yes!" Natsu moaned, wanting to thrust, to move, but he was trapped within the ice. Suddenly, something stung and a wrist bone popped. "Ow! Red! Red!"
The ice shattered, and with a flash an ice sword sliced through the air, cutting Natsu down from the ropes. Gray caught Natsu as he collapsed.
"Free my wrists," Natsu said, flinching in pain and he looked at his hands and the rope still bound around them.
Gray's fingers were swift to remove the rope. Lines indented the skin, and Gray saw that some of them were going to turn into bruises. He rubbed out the wrists, but Natsu flinched back with a hiss of pain.
"Hold on." Natsu held his sore wrist, carefully wrapped his fingers around, and then squeezed. The wrist bones popped, and the pain eased away. Gray cradled the wrist and kissed it, adoring the fact that Natsu would let him have that sort of power over him
As he began to relax and the pain soothed away, Natsu burst into a laugh. Gray looked at him in worry.
"That was amazing," Natsu said, still flushed and his cock hard. "The ice added more weight, and that hurt my wrist, but otherwise, that was so freaking awesome! Next time, I want to have my wrists bound but not suspended."
"Next time?" Gray asked in amusement, kissing his wrist again.
Natsu nodded enthusiastically. "I want it again."
Gray smiled, so happy that he could bring some pleasure to Natsu. "Are you up for more?"
"A little rest. That really did hurt my wrist. Can you put a little ice on it?"
Gray's hand waved over the wrist, and a miniature bandage of ice crystalized over it. "There you go. Let's warm you up."
"Mmmm, you sure do that," Natsu said with a hazy look of fondness.
Gray helped him up and brought him to the bed. They cuddled together, but Gray kept playing with Natsu's cock, not wanting the fun to end just yet. Natsu did not mind and lay back, fully enjoying the sensual touches.
"Are you okay with this?" Gray whispered.
Natsu closed his eyes. "I like it. Keep me hard for a while longer."
Gray stroked him slowly and watched Natsu's face as he hovered on that cloud of pleasure. What a beautiful expression he had, with his flushed cheeks and slowly heaving breaths rising and falling in his chest!
Natsu rolled his head over to him. "Hey, am I allowed to request something?"
"Absolutely," Gray said, amused to hear what more he had to suggest.
Natsu bit his lower lip. "Can we … um … switch positions?"
Those words should have brought excitement to Gray, but instead they filled him with dread. "I don't think that's a good—"
"Please?" Natsu whispered, gazing at him imploringly. "Ever since the beach, I've been wanting this. I dunno, I … I feel like I came really close to truly wanting it at that time. Last night, I had a dream that we switched, I was on top, and I just knew that I wanted it, more than anything."
"Oh?" Gray said, amused now. "Is that why Happy said you had to do more laundry? Did you have a wet dream?"
Natsu began to crawl on top of him and gazed down at Gray. "In my dream, I came in your ass and filled you to the brim. When I woke up, I came in my pajamas and drenched the sheets. There was so much cum, it looked like I pissed my bed."
"Fuck," Gray whispered. He reached down as his cock twitched hard at the fiery eroticism of Natsu's voice.
Natsu caressed Gray's cheek and dragged his hand down his bare chest. "Please, kainushi?" he moaned like a dragon in heat.
Gray shook his head, but how could he resist when Natsu called him by that name? Besides, Natsu actually wanted to take top position! He wanted it.
"Be careful," he warned.
Natsu had a desperate, starving sneer. "I want you so much."
Gray swore he would come from Natsu's voice before they could debate this issue. "Fine. Face up or down?"
"Up, if you want."
"Do I need to prep myself?"
"If … If you're okay with that."
"Grab the lube. It's on the dresser."
Natsu grabbed the bottle. Gray lubed up his fingers and worked quickly to loosen himself up while Natsu got on his knees in front of him. Natsu licked his lips as he watched Gray thrusting his fingers in. He would be inside there soon. Still, as much as he wanted that—seriously, seriously wanted it—Natsu had a look of doubt.
Desire was one thing, ability was another. Could he really do this? They had tried so many times. So many! Every time got a little bit closer, but each time failed.
Gray moved his hand away. "Okay, ready when you are."
Natsu took hold of himself and looked down at the tiny opening again. Gray was even holding his cheeks to spread himself wide. Natsu aligned his cock, put a little more lube on, and pushed his tip right up to it.
"I'm going in now," he warned.
Gray gave him a nod and relaxed as much as possible. Slowly, he was pierced by that thick, hot cock. Gray moaned at the slight pain that filled him with so much pleasure. He never had to tell Natsu to go slower. The Dragon Slayer was gentle and attentive as he entered.
Natsu watched as his cock sank in, more and more, plunging inside of Gray's body. "The last time I saw this, it was Loke inside you. I've been wanting … to take his place."
Gray looked up in concern. "Idiot. He never took your place to begin with."
"He was inside you, and … and I can't…" He felt a tear slide down and wiped it away, pretending it was sweat. "But I'm inside you now."
He was inside the man he loved!
He pushed until he was fully nestled in. He looked down at it, his pink curly pubes pressed right up to Gray's balls.
"It's in," he whispered, more to himself, shocked he managed to do this completely on his own. However, now that he was inside, he had to move. Natsu's face twisted up with grim determination.
"Relax," Gray urged. It did not help. Natsu was tense as he pulled partly out, then watched with uncertainty as he pressed back in. "That feels good," Gray told him, hoping to encourage Natsu to relax and enjoy it.
It worked for a moment, and Natsu smiled. He was doing it! He wanted Gray, and Gray was enjoying it. It felt good, to Gray and to him as well. He slid in and listened to Gray moan. He watched the way his body trembled and his mouth hung open. Natsu thought back to watching Loke thrust into Gray. Natsu had wanted to see Gray getting fucked to prove to himself that it was okay.
This was okay!
Gray began to stroke himself as that massive cock fucked his ass. "So good," he moaned. "More, Natsu."
Natsu felt a surging desire. He thrust in firmer, snapping his hips up against Gray, and a lustful moan filled the room. Natsu smirked. He wanted to claim Gray, to mark him, to have him, to own him, to ravage him, to—
Just as Gray stopped fretting about Natsu and began to really enjoy the thrusts, stroking his cock with growing pleasure, it all stopped. His eyes opened, and he saw tenseness in Natsu's face.
"Natsu?"
He shook his head, trying to expel some foul thought. "It's you," he muttered. "This is you. It's Gray, and Gray loves me. Gray wants it."
"Of course I do." He realized Natsu's eyes were focused down at where their bodies conjoined. "Look at my face."
"I can't," he whispered hoarsely.
"Look at me, Natsu."
His breathing began to go erratic. "I have to keep focused. It's you. I have to make sure it's you."
"You can look at more than my ass. Now look at me, dammit!"
Natsu's eyes flicked up, and Gray saw utter horror in them.
"Oh God," he sighed. "What are you doing to yourself?"
Natsu looked aside with stern determination. "I'm trying!"
"Natsu—"
"I want it," he shouted, sounding angry at himself. "I want it so badly! I want to be able to do this, to please you…"
"You won't please me like this. Do you think I want to see you looking terrified while on top of me?" He put his hand on Natsu's cheek. "This much alone is progress. You're doing so good, but you don't have to push yourself."
Natsu grumbled, "Maybe I do."
"We've gone down that road, and it didn't work. Pull out. You've done enough for now."
"No!" he shouted, and Natsu slammed in hard. However, his whole body tensed up, and Gray felt those strong shoulders shaking.
"Stop. You don't have to…"
"Shut up! I want to!" His teeth bared with dire determination as he rammed in again, again, and again.
"Natsu! Stop before you—"
"If Loke can do it, I can too, dammit!"
"Fuckin' stop," Gray screamed. "Red!"
Natsu yanked completely back, scuttling to the foot of the bed. He looked into Gray's eyes with a horrified expression. Gray had said to stop, and it took Natsu so long to comply. He honestly had not wanted to stop at all. Only the safeword yanked him away from that dark ledge.
Gray said stop … and he ignored him.
"No," he whispered in horror.
Natsu covered his mouth and gagged as he almost vomited. He curled into a ball, choking back a shot of acid as tears of frustration poured from his eyes.
"No, no, no. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
Gray bolted up and wrapped his arms around Natsu. "Dammit, don't you ever do that again. Know your limits!"
"I … I can't…" He looked up at Gray, and with a throat raw from the acidic surge, he pleaded, "Tie me up."
"Playtime is over."
"No, I mean it. Tie me up. Bind me. Please! Please, I don't … I don't want to hurt you. I need to know I can't. Please," he weakly begged, jolting as he felt like he was holding in a monster. "Nothing kinky, just … tie me up. Please."
Gray pouted at the fear in Natsu's voice. If he needed that reassurance to feel better, he would do it. He created the same full-body gimp suit of ice as earlier, only now it froze Natsu into the curled-up ball he had rolled into.
"Yes," Natsu whispered, already calming down, sinking out of the close brush with nightmares.
"You're a stubborn flame-brain, but you're brave. I could never face my demons like you can."
Natsu looked up at him with moist eyes and grumbled, "You never try."
Gray froze.
Natsu gasped, realizing what he said a moment too late. "N-No! That's not true. I didn't mean that."
Gray looked down, stunned that here Natsu put himself into such a mess trying to get over his issues, yet Gray found comfort in saying alternatives to the dreaded phrase.
How was this even fair? Natsu was putting in so much effort to make this relationship better, and Gray still choked up at saying three words.
"Love," he whispered, and Natsu looked up in worry. Gray trembled, but he stared Natsu straight in the eyes. "I … I–I … luh … love…" His throat choked off.
"Now who's the stubborn one?" Still, Natsu smiled sympathetically. "Release me. I'm okay now."
"Are you sure?"
He really did look relaxed as he nodded. The ice-gimp suit sparkled away, and Natsu reached up to caress Gray's face.
"I didn't mean to say that, and it's not true," he said calmly.
"Still," Gray grumbled. "You feel like I don't try."
"No—"
"You said it so you feel it."
Natsu closed his mouth. He had been upset, but maybe some deep part of him was jealous that Gray could have alternatives to saying I love you, whereas Natsu felt there were no alternatives for him: he either could fuck Gray's ass, or he couldn't. Still, he knew Gray suffered from this hangup.
Natsu tried to give him a smile. "Let's do it how we used to. Remember that? Filling in each other's sentences."
Still shaking with fear, Gray nodded. "I."
"Love."
"You."
A second after he said it, Gray heard clearly in his head a high-pitch scream and a bone-rattling roar. Deliora! The smell of blood and smoke was in the air. He flinched back and covered his ears.
"Gray!"
He thought he heard his name being called, but then he heard his mother's voice.
"I love you so much, Gray. Never forget that. I love you. Now run. Hide! Run far away before Deliora comes this way."
"No!" he screamed, curling down.
"Gray?"
Gray's hand shot out, as if trying to grab someone. "Mama! No!"
Natsu bit his lip. Gray was in a flashback, and apparently a bad one. He hugged Gray close to him. "I'm sorry. I pushed you too far. I don't need you to say it. I already know how you feel, so you don't have to tell me. I'm so sorry."
Gray let himself be held, sobbing without realizing it while a nightmare played out in his head. "Mama," he cried. "I don't want you to die. No one else! Dad … I can't lose anyone else."
Natsu hugged him and stroked his black hair. "Just how deep is your pain? I only had one person I ever loved as a kid: Igneel. Having him vanish on me was devastating. I can't even begin to comprehend what you went through, so I don't know how to help."
Gray was still sobbing, but Natsu heard a broken word. "L-Lo-ove."
Natsu pulled back in surprise, and Gray's wet eyes rose to meet him.
"My parents … l-loved me." He thought back to his conversation with Bisca as he changed the diaper of little Akibare. "They loved me, and they wanted me … to grow up, to … l-love … and be happy. They … wanted me … to … l-lo-…" He broke down into tears. "And I do! I do! Dammit, I do."
Natsu hugged Gray, crying with him. That was the closest he had yet come. "I know you do."
Gray looked up, hyperventilating from the nightmare, but his parents' love allowed him to survive.
Love.
"You," he forced out.
I am in love with…
"You!"
He could think the important part in his head, but the words still held back. This pushed him so close to the phobia.
Just this much might kill Natsu!
He knew that was ridiculous. There was no curse in place. He obviously could fall in love, and he had said words that were far deeper.
I love…
"You!"
That one word was all he could get out, but he saw the happiness on Natsu's face.
He understood. That was what counted.
Natsu stroked his cheek. "I know you struggle, but you keep trying to say it, and you show me your feelings. That's more important than words."
Gray had been appeasing himself with that same idea, but he knew it only went so far, and it did not help to desensitize his phobia.
"Y-You say … the other w-words … and I'll say the middle one."
"No, Gray—"
"Yes!" he yelled, but his voice instantly dropped to a timid whisper. "Please."
Natsu nodded solemnly. "I."
"Love," Gray gnashed harshly as he forced the word out.
"You." Natsu smiled, relieved to see Gray still trying.
Gray shivered, but he nodded when they had finished. "That way, it's more like you're saying it, but I still have to say that word. It's me saying it for you, so … so that's okay."
Natsu hugged him closer. "I—"
"Don't do it too often," Gray whispered in mental exhaustion.
"Sorry. That was good, though."
"I can only say part of it."
"Still, you say the most important part." He kissed Gray on the forehead. "We keep making progress."
Gray growled in irritation, "I don't want any more progress. I want sex."
Natsu's eyes dropped in disappointment. What Gray was really saying was that he wanted to hide himself once again behind the mask of a sadist.
"Lie down," Gray ordered. "I need to tie you up. I need … I need to feel in control again. Dammit!" he seethed. Gray ran his hands through his hair as he tried to calm down. He saw Natsu obediently getting into position, and his eyes narrowed. "Don't take this the wrong way, but … can I hurt you?"
Natsu was momentarily startled by the question, but he lowered his head subserviently. "Kainushi doesn't have to ask."
"Don't do that. No more acting."
Natsu raised his eyes again. "In that case … No!" he said, shocking Gray. "You can't hurt me, but you can fight me!"
Gray raised an eyebrow. "Huh?"
"You're just trying to escape, and you're using sex to do it. It's exactly what you did before." he wished Gray could see that for himself. "If you need to work out aggression, then fight me."
Gray gnashed his teeth. "I don't wanna fight you. I wanna fuck you."
"You said you want to hurt me."
"I need to feel in control."
"We are completely in control of our own destiny when we fight."
"I need to be in control over someone else."
"No, you need to be in control of yourself."
Natsu realized he was shouting. Why were they arguing? He looked aside in frustration. It was because of what his therapist had said about addictions.
"Sex for pleasure is absolutely fine. My worry is that one of you may use sex for non-pleasurable reasons. You may want to be beaten purely because you feel disgusted with yourself, or Gray may want to beat you out of anger issues with his own limitations. When sex is done for these sorts of darker reasons, and not to treat one another in mutual pleasure, the lines between BDSM and abuse blur."
He really felt this was exactly what his therapist had warned about. Gray was frustrated, scared, and angry. These were all horrible reasons to have sex, and Gray admitted, he basically just wanted to hurt Natsu for the sake of feeling better about himself. He wished Gray could see just how wrong that was.
"If you want control over me," Natsu asked softer, "then why did you tell me not to act submissively? I would have agreed."
"You wouldn't have wanted it."
"Do you really care if I want it or not?"
"Of course I do," Gray said, feeling hurt that Natsu dared to ask something like that.
"Okay then. I don't want it," he stated sharply. "I want sex and kinks, but I don't want you to hit me and fuck me just because you're mad. I've told you many times before, I don't want angry sex. Ever! If you want to spank me so I feel pleasure, that's one thing, but hitting me so you can take out aggression? Screw that!"
Natsu leaped off the bed, grabbed his clothes and the keys to their play items, and ran to the bathroom. Gray stayed where he was, staring down at his hands.
What had he really meant by asking that of Natsu? Hurting him to relieve aggression? That wasn't caring at all! It was purely selfish, even abusive.
"Dammit, I'm right back to how I used to be," he muttered.
In the bathroom, Natsu unlocked the cock ring, pulled it off, and cleaned the cage. He looked in the mirror at the collar and stroked his finger around the letters. Beloved! He smiled to himself despite the ache in his heart. He pulled out the key, unlocked the collar, and set it aside. Then he wrapped his scarf around his throat and got dressed.
He turned to the door, but he hesitated. Gray wanted aggressive sex to balance himself out. Natsu was denying him that. He felt guilty, although he knew he should not.
He thought about what Loke said at the beach. "Never apologize for requesting something that makes you more comfortable. Your comfort and consent is never something you need to defend or justify."
"My comfort and consent is not something I need to defend or justify," Natsu whispered to himself.
First, Natsu had not stopped after Gray told him to because he wanted to push himself past the trauma. Now, Gray was pressuring Natsu into sex purely to take out his anger. None of this was healthy, so he knew it needed to stop right now, before one of them truly got hurt.
He stepped out of the bathroom. Gray was still on the bed, naked, hunched over in dejection, and looking angry at himself. Natsu hoped he realized why this was not okay between them.
"I'll be by the river until sunset," Natsu told him. "If you still need to get some aggression out, meet me there. We can fight like old times. If not, I'll see you tomorrow at the guild."
"Stay with me," Gray whispered with his head hanging down and his hair blocking his eyes.
"No. I don't feel comfortable or safe here."
Those brutally honest words stabbed Gray's heart, and Natsu heard him gritting his teeth in anguish.
Natsu opened his mouth, about to apologize, but he held back. He should never apologize for refusing to consent to sex. He needed to take a stand and be firm about where his boundaries were.
He turned and walked out the door. He felt bad for leaving Gray there alone, but Natsu did not trust himself, nor did he feel okay staying near Gray when he felt this way. Gray needed time to cool off, and Natsu needed to sort through what was plaguing his head.
An hour later, Natsu felt calmer and smiled to himself as he fished on the rocky shore of the riverside. It was a crisp, beautiful day, although he smelled that rain was approaching. In that scent, the aroma of pine and snow slowly grew. A small smile lifted his cheeks.
Took him long enough!
"Yo. Here to fight?" he called out, knowing it was Gray approaching.
"No."
Natsu turned toward him. Gray sounded exhausted. As the ice wizard slowly walked forward, Natsu saw that his face was paler, and he had dark lines under his eyes. Had he jacked off hard while Natsu was gone? He did not smell like that, though.
Then Natsu noticed bruises on Gray's arms that were not there earlier. As he came closer, Natsu saw that Gray was walking with a slight limp.
He leaped up and took a bruised arm. "What the hell happened to you? Were you in a fight?"
Gray had a dazed and empty look as he muttered, "I don't want to hurt you."
At first, Natsu wondered what that had to do with bruises. Then the truth struck him with icy horror. He lifted Gray's shirt and saw dark bruises and red stripes over his skin from where Gray had beaten and flogged himself.
"Gray!"
"I … won't hurt you … anymore."
Gray stumbled weakly. Natsu grabbed him and helped him down to the grass.
"You idiot! I told you to come and fight me. We always fight." He hugged Gray close to him, burying his anguished face down into Gray's neck. "Why … Why would you hurt yourself?"
Gray looked up to the sky. "To protect you? No, I don't think I'm that noble. To protect myself, mostly. So I don't feel guilty." He struggled with pain. "Probably … the same reason … you need to be restrained."
"Someone should restrain you," screamed Natsu. "Maybe then you wouldn't do this to yourself." He wiped away tears. "How can I help you?" he whispered in grief.
"You can't," Gray said coldly. "I'm broken. I'm…"
"No! Tell me what you need."
Gray shook his head, staring ahead with empty depression.
That hollow look terrified Natsu. "Gray? Please talk to me." He rested his head on Gray's shoulder and whispered sadly, "What can I do?"
Gray let out a sigh. "I wish I knew. I wish I knew how to help you, and I wish I had an answer for how you can help me. We're both so fucked up. I'm sorry. This is the best I could…" He suddenly cringed as something stabbed pain through him. "…best I could figure out how to protect us both."
"It's not protecting you at all!"
"In a way, it is. I'd feel much worse if I hurt you against your will."
Natsu shook his head stubbornly. "I'm tough, I can take pain, but I can't take seeing you like this." He looked down at the bruises and harsh marks, then glared into Gray's face with a burning heart. "Don't ever do it again!"
Gray's eyes were devoid of emotion as he muttered, "I can't promise that."
Natsu's mouth dropped. He couldn't promise he wouldn't hurt himself? This was serious! "I'm going to take you to your therapist, right now."
Gray mumbled, "I'm sure she's busy."
"She can make room for you! A patient who turns to self-harm…"
"It's not self-harm!"
"Then what the hell do you call this?" he screamed, pointing to the bruises. "You need to talk to her."
He cringed, feeling guilty. No way could he admit this to her!
"Please! Please, talk to her, find out how to help … how to…" Natsu broke down into tears. "What am I supposed to do? Should I let you hit me, beat me up, rape me?"
"No!"
"What do I do?" he screamed.
After that frustrated shout, his lower lip began to quiver. He had not wanted to yell, but he felt so helpless, it infuriated him. Hearing Gray refuse to promise not to hurt himself crushed Natsu's spirit. He was mad at himself for leaving Gray alone and not being there to stop him from hurting himself.
Gray had asked him to stay. Had that whisper actually been a cry for help?
He wished he knew how to take away Gray's pain and misery, but what could he do? He was not a therapist. He had no idea how to make things better. He only knew one thing.
This all started with Gray's past.
This was going to agonize Gray, but Natsu had to pick the scab covering that wound to the heart and let the poison escape.
"Tell me about your mother."
Gray looked up in horror. "What?"
"Your mother. Mika was her name, right? Tell me about her."
Gray began to tremble, and he shouted in a panic, "What the hell? Where is this coming from?"
"That has to do with this, right? When you lost everyone you loved—"
"Natsu, no!" Gray shouted in dread.
Natsu had to be firm, although the fear in Gray's eyes pained him. "It's the origin of all your problems. We've visited your hometown, you've talked about your dad, but you rarely mention your mother. You don't like to talk about her."
"I … I … n-no," he shuddered. "I don't want to think about her, about … what happened."
"I don't want to know about her last moments. I want to know what she was like when you were growing up." Natsu looked at him firmly. "Tell me about your mother. I don't remember my mother, so what was yours like? Was she pretty? Was she strict?"
Gray sniffled. "My mother…" His eyes drifted off with bittersweet memories. "She was gorgeous. I'm not just saying that, either. I had a friend in school who had a crush on her." He chuckled with old memories. "I beat him up a few times because he'd start drooling over her."
Natsu smiled and caressed Gray's hair. "You were like that even back then, huh?"
"When it came to my mother, yes. She was strict but … very gentle," he said with a small gleam of happiness in his watery eyes. "She had a smile that warmed up the whole room. She only had me, but she loved kids. She'd bring in the neighborhood kids, bake cookies, have parties, with a dozen wild kids running around the house." He fell silent for a moment before whispering, "She would have really liked you. I had a friend in school who was just like you: crazy, destructive, loud, annoying—"
"Hey!"
Gray laughed as he compared them. "His parents were lost in an avalanche. My family took him in until he could move in with an aunt in another village. Although he was wild and crazy and tore the house apart, my mother took him in like he was a son. That was the type of woman she was. She cared for children, she spoiled us a bit, but she was strict. She tamed that kid without ever spanking him, yelling at him, or scaring him in any sort of way. She … would have liked you."
Natsu tenderly kissed Gray's forehead. "I bet I would have liked her. She sounds like the best mom ever."
A tear tumbled down his cheek. "Yeah, she was."
Natsu wiped the drip away. "She wanted the best for you. She wanted you to be safe, to grow up, live your own life, and be happy. This…" He picked up Gray's bruised arm. "She wouldn't have wanted this. I don't want this! Please don't hurt yourself again."
"Then who do I hurt? I don't want to hurt you."
"If you're angry, I don't want it. Other times, I like when you're sadistic. I told you, you were angry, so come and fight me. If you get bruised up because we're sparring, I don't care, because it's training, it's constructive, it'll make us both stronger. Why didn't you come here?" he asked sadly.
"Dunno. Didn't feel like fighting."
"Gray," Natsu sighed.
"I'm a fucked up man. A year and a half, and nothing has changed."
"It has! I've seen how you've improved."
"No, I haven't." His head sank onto Natsu's shoulder. "It's the same damn issue as before. I don't respect you as I should. What I was asking for was nothing more than abuse. How shitty is that!" He slammed his eyes against the wet burn. "You're better off without—"
"Don't say it!"
"It's true, though," Gray muttered in depression. "Someone else could—"
"No!" Natsu yelled over him. "Don't say it."
"Loke. You'd be happier with him."
"Please. Please, don't," he cried, feeling his heart breaking. He hugged Gray, and the ice wizard had no strength to fight against where Natsu pulled him. He felt dead inside and simply let himself be held. "I'm not letting this fall apart. You and me, we're a team. I don't think I could be with anyone else, not like this. I don't want to be with anyone else." Natsu's eyes closed, cradling Gray but feeling his body limp and unresponsive. There was nothing else he could really do. "How about we go home and have sex?"
Gray looked up in shock.
"If you need to work through your issues, use me however you want."
"I don't want to use you," Gray yelled. "I care for you too much to do that."
Natsu gave a sigh, completely out of ideas. "Then what do we do?"
The sadness in Gray's eyes terrified Natsu. Those eyes said I can't help you and I can't help myself anymore. They were the eyes of a man about to give up.
"Let's go on a date," Natsu blurted out.
Gray furrowed his brow in confusion.
"Food, shopping. Maybe we can look at gimp suits. That might cheer you up."
Gray dropped his chin and shook his head. "I don't know. I'm not really in the mood."
Natsu pouted, but then he thought of something else. "I know! We should put vibrators in our asses, go to the cinema, tease each other through the film, and have sex in the restroom."
Despite himself, Gray burst out in a laugh. Natsu said that way too nonchalantly, and it was damn hilarious.
"There! Got you to smile," Natsu said with a beaming grin.
"Idiot." Then Gray looked up with a faint yet hopeful smile. "You have one hell of a kinky imagination."
"You're to blame for that. How about this?" Natsu picked up Gray's arm and kissed a bruise. "I'll kiss every place you hurt yourself." He kissed another bruise, then another, working up the arm.
"I wasn't easy on myself," Gray warned.
"Then I have a lot to kiss." Natsu kissed a red stripe that went over Gray's shoulder and continued along his neck, nibbling along the skin. "Don't you dare take your shirt off in public and show these bruises." He pushed Gray's shirt up and kissed a purplish mark on his abdomen, and the ice wizard hissed in pain. "If I give you marks, that's one thing, but I don't want anyone—anyone at all—to see these marks. These aren't my marks. I don't like them."
His head dropped to the side. "Sorry."
"I would rather hit you than have you hit yourself. If you need the darkness beaten out, like I needed it, then I'll take on the role. Just don't mark your own skin. I hate it as much as I hate the idea of you masturbating without me there to watch."
Gray thoughtfully gazed at him as Natsu kissed more bruises. "Would you really?"
Natsu looked up in question.
"Would you … hit me?"
Natsu blinked in surprise but said with seriousness, "If that's what you need."
"Maybe I do," Gray whispered, looking off sadly.
"Not today. Not when you're bruised up like this."
"Then my ass. I didn't hit my ass. Kinda hard to reach. I don't think I'm going to feel better with just this."
He pouted, but if Gray needed some darkness beaten out, Natsu would help. He wanted to heal Gray, and so far nothing had worked.
They were back in Gray's bedroom. The sky was growing red with the approach of sunset, and Gray was in a position he never thought he would be: face-down on the bed, naked, handcuffed to the headboard, the spreader bar keeping his legs apart, and that bar was chained to the foot of the bed so he could not move his legs. It was so vulnerable! Although he had put Natsu into this situation many times before, to actually be the one losing control was slightly terrifying.
All of his trust had to be in Natsu now, and that was asking a lot from a guy who got so easily distracted.
Luckily, he heard Natsu's footsteps. That was all. Natsu had decided to blindfold Gray, but not silence his hearing. He said Gray didn't need to see anything, but should hear everything.
Gray had to admit, although being face-down meant he could not have seen much anyway, to be in pure darkness, to have his vision stolen from him, was something altogether different. He could not look ahead and focus on the metal handcuffs, or glance to the side to get glimpses of Natsu. Faced with darkness, the nightmares of the past felt so much closer to the surface.
He felt a finger caress his neck, and he gasped in shock from the touch. Natsu dragged his finger down Gray's spine, awakening nerves along the whole length. His finger continued down to his butt crack, then between his plump cheeks, skirting right over his asshole, then on down to his ball sack. Natsu suddenly grabbed Gray's balls and heated his hand.
"Owwww! Fuck!" he howled, yanking on the handcuffs and spreader bar as his whole body spasmed from the intense pain. He heard Natsu laughing mischievously. Gray tried to look back, but the eye mask blocked all light. "What the hell are you doing, bastard?"
"Warming you up," Natsu said with a light, teasing tone. "After a scream of pain like that, maybe your neighbors will think your moans are from an injury."
"You jerk," Gray grumbled. He slumped back into the pillows, his scrotum still tingling with the burn.
"You've done worse to me," said Natsu. Gray heard something tapping on Natsu's hand. "Are you ready for this?"
He nodded. He needed this. Natsu had said he needed to be in control of himself. The problem was, he rarely felt in control. Only when he had complete power over someone else did he feel like he was in control of himself as well.
He was using Natsu to satisfy that desperate need of feeling in control. He loved Natsu too much to merely use him, and yet that was precisely what he had asked: to hurt him. To use him. To bring his own life into balance by taking away Natsu's freedoms.
That was selfish. BDSM was about pleasing your partner, not yourself. When it changed into purely being about one's own pleasure without care for pleasing one's partner, that was when BDSM turned toxic and could mutate into abuse.
He never, ever, wanted to abuse Natsu.
He needed to find control some other way. To gain control of himself, he needed to fight that darkness of the past. This method worked for Natsu. Maybe it would work for him. At the very least, maybe it would give Natsu a chance to explore those sadistic tendencies that sometimes showed themselves.
The smack to his ass was heavy and hard. Gray let out a howl as his whole butt felt like it was on fire.
"Goddammit, not that hard!"
Natsu looked down at the paddle. "Huh! This thing really flies. Sorry about that."
"Suggestion for the future," Gray grumbled. "Start off soft and build up slowly."
"You didn't do that most of the time with me."
"Yeah, and I was an asshole who didn't fully know what I was doing. I've learned." Gray felt barely a pat to his butt with the paddle. "See, start off easy and we'll figure out my limit. You can go harder. Carefully!"
Natsu did it again, this time fractionally harder. Slowly, over the course of a dozen hits, they built up, with Gray asking for more, harder, or telling Natsu if he was hitting too high.
Natsu saw this as training. In a fight, you wanted to win, but you did not want to kill your opponent, not unless absolutely necessary to save the lives of innocent people. So while a wizard might have immense magic, they also needed control.
This was learning control.
He finally hit Gray in a way that made him moan and his back arch. Natsu smiled and rubbed out the hit. He wished he could ice the sore spot like Gray did, but at least he could massage the ache away. He hit again, exactly the same speed and striking the same area. The moan was louder, and he saw Gray's limbs shivering.
"Is that good?" Natsu asked with a smirk. Gray only nodded. "Tell me."
"Yes," Gray hissed.
"Yes, what?" Natsu urged on, rubbing the pink spot on Gray's ass.
Gray cursed under his breath. "Yes, it feels good."
"Call me sir."
"What?" Gray cried out. "No!"
"Do it." Natsu struck him with the paddle, fractionally harder. "I don't want to be master, but you can call me sir."
"Fuck that, no." Gray huffed that Natsu was getting ahead of himself. "A title like that has to be earned."
"So if I do well this time, maybe we can settle on a title?"
Gray was already against the idea, but he did not want to discuss this now. "We'll talk."
"Okay," Natsu said, agreeing that this might be the sort of conversation for after Gray felt better. "But you know, I'm going easy on you. As the son of the Flame Dragon King, by all rights I could demand that you call me Your Highness."
"That is never going to happen."
Suddenly, the paddle hit Gray's ass, and he let out a shout.
"I think you're disrespecting my lineage."
"You have never gone by any sort of royal title."
"I think they're silly," Natsu admitted, and he paddled Gray again, "but it would be fun to hear you call me that. Your Highness, please, more!" He hit again, much harder.
"Ow!"
"Say it," he said coldly.
"I am not calling you by a title."
"We'll see about that."
Gray heard Natsu walking away, and he wondered what he would do next. He pulled at his handcuffs. He really was at Natsu's mercy, and he had seen just how sadistic the Dragon Slayer could get sometimes.
"I'm warning you," Natsu said, and Gray heard the sadistic glee in his voice, "I won't stop until you say 'Please show mercy, Your Highness.'"
"You really are getting ahead of yourself," Gray grumbled. He wanted punishment, not humiliation.
What he felt next confused him. It was not the pain of another blunt object. It was light, soft, and ticklish. His brow furrowed as he tried to figure it out. Then the tickle was on his hip, and he pulled away from it.
"Natsu!" he yelped.
It was under his armpit now, wiggling, tingling, sending Gray into awkward laughs. He realized now what it was. He had in his collection a feather stick. He had used it on Natsu before, a way to entice his nerves without getting him overly excited.
The feathers aimed right for his worst zones. Natsu tickled his ribs, the back of his knee, followed by a tickling on his neck that made Gray shy away with giggles. He tried to get his stomach, but Gray's position made it less effective. Then he got Gray's feet.
That sent Gray screaming with laughs, yanking on the spreader bar, desperate to pull away. He heard Natsu chortling softly, now focused there.
"Stop, stop!" Gray howled with laughs.
"Say it."
He sneered, biting back the words, so the tickling continued. Gray screamed out laughs, yanking hard, twisting until it was painful as he struggled against the restraints. Then, to couple with the feathers on his feet, Natsu's hand attacked Gray in the ribs.
He pulled, desperate to roll into a ball and yank away.
"Natsuuuuuu!" He tried to escape the tickles, but there was no way. He was cuffed, ankles restrained, totally trapped.
"Say the words, and it all ends." Natsu's fingers attacked the other side of his ribs with a sly, "Goochie goochie goo!"
"Stoooooop!" Gray writhed around on the bed, panting from the relentless tickles. "Stop, stop, stop!" He could not escape, and he began to realize why tickling was a form of torture. "Mercy."
"Those aren't the words." Natsu's tickle attack continued.
"Fine, fine! Please show mercy, Your Highness."
The feather went away, the fingers stopped, and Gray was left breathing so hard, he realized he was drooling. His whole body was on edge, twitching as the memory of tickles was slow to fade. When Natsu touched him again, Gray yanked away with reflexive giggles, only to realize Natsu was simply stroking his head, trying to calm him down.
"Very good," he praised.
"You're an asshole," Gray grumbled, feeling exhausted after all the laughter.
"Are you up for more paddling now?"
"No. I need a drink." His throat felt parched from the screaming laughs.
A few seconds later, Natsu took Gray's chin to lift it, and he felt a straw brought to his lips. Gray took a sip but instantly spit it out.
"What the hell is that?" It tasted like chili peppers and burned his tongue.
"Water is no fun. I thought I'd spice it up. Come on, drink."
The straw was jabbed back into his mouth, but Gray refused to suck on it. Had Natsu dumped a whole bottle of Tabasco sauce in there?
"Looks like I have a disobedient servant."
Servant? Gray was ready to protest that, but then again, he had called Natsu Your Majesty.
Did that make him a servant to a Dragon Prince?
"I saw you had this," Natsu said, and Gray tried to follow the voice, blind and with heightened curiosity as he realized Natsu was walking back over to the chest of sex toys. "I would definitely never want something like this, but I think it's perfect for you."
Gray rapidly thought through the things he had bought, sometimes just because they looked interesting. If it was something Natsu would never use, it must have been bought before they were a couple.
Natsu's footsteps returned, and Gray felt a hand grab his face, yanking it up.
"Yes, I think this is perfect for you and that big mouth of yours."
The fingers yanked on his chin, forcing open his mouth, and something was shoved between his teeth. At first, Gray wondered if it was a ball gag. He had one and knew from the start, it was a hard limit no for Natsu, since he did not want to be gagged in any sort of way. Knowing his past now, Gray understood why he was against having his breathing cut off.
This though!
He forgot he even bought this.
The item was pushed between his teeth, stretched his lips almost to the point of hurting, and wrenched his mouth wide open. Gray cried out, but realized this was no gag.
No … quite the opposite.
He had bought it as a bit of a laugh. It was a pair of fat silicone lips that forced the mouth open for oral sex. The girl he had been seeing at the time was not amused and refused to even put the thing in her mouth. He had pulled it out of the packaging to try it himself, only to burst into laughter when he looked in the mirror and saw those massive bright pink lips.
Now, the ring was in his mouth, stretching his jaw, and Natsu stood looking down.
"You seriously look like a slut."
Gray felt crushed by humiliation. Saliva was instantly filling his mouth, but swallowing without being able to move his jaw was hard. Then suddenly his hair was yanked and his head pulled up.
"You said you needed a drink," Natsu said in a singsong taunt.
No way!
Gray felt that hot sauce tainted water being poured right down his throat. He gagged, forced to drink it, only to cough and gurgle. Still, Natsu poured it in, giving him no choice but to swallow it down. It was like fire down his throat, so hot it brought tears to his eyes. After Natsu was done, Gray's head dropped, and he could feel the spicy water dribble out his mouth, down his chin, still burning a bit on his skin. He was drooling it all out, and it set his flesh on fire.
"Shit, you seriously look good."
Gray heard Natsu fumble with his belt, a zipper went down, and he was shifted slightly on the bed. Then he felt something push into his mouth. With his lips thrust open, he could not even suck on Natsu's dick. He could only kneel there while Natsu rammed his cock in, gliding over his tongue.
"That was good hot sauce. It's still burning."
Gray knew that! It burned his whole mouth and made his throat ache. A sadistic part of him hoped the spicy water left burns on Natsu's dick!
"Gray … oh shit, Gray! Is this okay? Please tell me this is okay."
Natsu sounded already worked up to a frenzy. Was it really that good for him? He had been having issues with oral sex, and sex toys were always a dangerous thing with him, but he sounded like he was really getting affected.
"Uh-huh," he groaned out, unable to speak.
Natsu grabbed Gray's head and began to really ram into his mouth, pounding his hips in until Gray choked and coughed. He felt Natsu's fingers gripping, definitely too hard for his liking, but Gray loved the sound of Natsu grunting, moaning, and losing control.
He wished he could see it.
"Gray!"
Natsu rammed in, and his whole body shuddered. Gray felt cum coating his tongue and throat. It helped to neutralize the spiciness, and Gray moaned as the burning eased away. Again, he could not swallow well. While he could gulp what made it to the back of his throat, he felt cum dripping out.
Natsu pulled back and looked down at Gray, blindfolded, those massive, stupidly comical lips, and his cum dripping.
"No, no, no! Swallow it." He pulled Gray's head up, trying to get the cum back into his mouth.
"Ag gah gawg auh."
"What?"
"Ah gawg."
Natsu pulled the ring out, and Gray coughed. He slammed his mouth closed and finally was able to gather all the liquid to the back of his mouth so he could gulp it down. He coughed with a mix of spicy heat and soothing milky cum.
Finally, Gray could speak. "I can't swallow well with that thing in."
Natsu sat beside him and caressed his hair. "Next time, I'll make sure to keep your head tilted up."
"Next time?" Gray cried out.
"Yeah. I really liked that one," Natsu admitted with a bashful smile. "It was weird, but it was too funny to be scary."
Gray supposed, if it helped Natsu, maybe silly sex toys were the way to go.
"Was that really okay?" Natsu asked in worry.
"Yeah, it was fun."
"It … It kind of pushed some limits," Natsu admitted. "It's sliding into something, but I know it's your mouth on the other end, so it's okay."
Gray smiled at hearing the excitement in Natsu's voice. "Are you up for some more?"
Natsu chuckled and nipped his chin. "Is my servant still eager to please his Highness?"
"You bastard," Gray grumbled.
"Please, play along with it. It feels … better this way."
Gray arched an eyebrow.
"It's being playful," Natsu said softly, trying to think of a way to explain it. "So it's less scary."
If this helped… "Fine, I'll play along."
Natsu burst out in a grin. "Good! So, I had an idea. I wanted to fight you for some training, but we didn't get that. So, I want you to go through some strength-building exercises."
That piqued his interest. Training while having sex?
"First, I'll get you some milk and water. Sorry about the hot sauce water. I thought it would be a fun joke. It also made your mouth incredible," he purred.
"I should have you fuck into a chili pepper," Gray grumbled.
Natsu growled deep in his throat. "I might like that, if you cut the tip open and swallow down my cum."
"Okay, I am definitely buying that later," Gray chuckled.
"I'll unlock you, but not the ankles. I wanna keep using that." Natsu unlocked the handcuffs and pulled the blindfold off. Then he helped Gray to sit up. "I'll be right back with milk."
He raced off, and Gray rubbed out his wrists. Natsu returned with a massive glass full to the brim. He gulped down the glass of milk. Then Natsu took it and refilled it with water. Gray drank only half of it.
"Drink it all," he urged, and he stood waiting.
Gray glanced up to him. If he drank all of this, plus the milk and glass of spicy water, he would be in desperate need to pee soon.
Perhaps that was the point.
Gray tipped back the cup and finished it off. Already, his stomach was sloshing with liquid. Natsu caressed Gray's head, praising him for finishing the glass.
"When it's you getting to use the toys, we can use a lot of things I can't use. The lips would probably make me panic, but on you, that was awesome." He leaned into Gray's ear. "I wanna try more things."
He grabbed Gray and lifted him up. With his legs trapped in a spread, awkward position, Gray had to grab around Natsu's shoulders as he was carried to the bathroom and set by the sink, right in front of the mirror.
"I want you to see how it looks." Natsu had the lips with him and thrust it into Gray's mouth, wrenching his jaw open wide. Gray thought it looked ridiculous, humiliating, but also…
Sexy.
Natsu whispered in his ear, "I wanna show you what it looked like for me."
He left Gray there, staring at his own reflection, with massive pink lips and a huge hole. Inside, he saw his tongue. When Gray relaxed his tongue, it flopped out through the opening between the lips, hanging like a panting dog.
No! That was too humiliating.
All of this was humiliating!
Natsu returned with one of Gray's dildos. Gray grunted out a surprised exclamation, but he could not talk. Natsu washed the toy in the sink, then brought it up to Gray's mouth.
"You looked really good sucking my cock." He pressed the silicone dick into his mouth, and Gray gagged at the intrusion. "Look at how slutty you are."
Natsu's sultry voice was ready to undo him. Natsu kept forcing the toy in, gagging Gray since he could not get a good angle, nor did Natsu even try. He just wanted Gray to see what he looked like, choking on a dick with those hilariously large lips.
Then Natsu pulled the dildo out. With it came a lot of saliva, stringing and dripping. Gray leaned over the sink, unable to swallow it. It drooled out, and he watched it slither over the pink lips.
Natsu lubed up the dildo and slid it into Gray's ass. He let out a yelp, unable to hold back his voice with his mouth forced open.
"You're always so tight," Natsu whispered sensually. "Hold it in there. Squeeze those glutes. This is the first part of your training. Don't let it slip out. I'll be right back."
Natsu let go, and Gray had to squeeze his ass muscles to hold the dildo inside. With so much lube on, he felt it slipping despite how much he clenched. The slow sliding excited him, keeping him stimulated while Natsu was gone.
Luckily, Natsu returned quickly. With him was a bit of rope and the weight off of one of Gray's barbells.
"I had an idea." Natsu said, and he set the heavy iron disk and rope on the sink. "I'm not good at rope stuff, so I want you to tie part of this rope around your left arm, somewhere without as many bruises, and thread it through the weight. Then, you have to hold up the weight if you want to stroke yourself." Natsu grinned at his own ingenuity. "Training with sex!"
Gray wanted to laugh, but his mouth was still painfully wide open. He took the rope and first threaded it through the hole in the weight. It was a heavy one, 50kg, which was not difficult for Gray, but it sounded like Natsu wanted him to keep the weight suspended as he jerked off. This would test his endurance.
As he did this, Natsu slowly pushed the dildo in and out. Gray moaned, and drool slid out of the pink lips.
Gray had to tie the rope to his left arm with his weaker right hand, but Natsu helped him. He watched how Gray wrapped the rope around his arm, as if studying a new fighting technique. Finally, it was tied on and not hurting. As Gray lowered his arm, the weight swung slightly, dragging his whole arm down.
"Awesome," Natsu whispered in awe. He pressed the dildo in as far in as it would go, and Gray let out a groan. "Now, reach up. I want to see you try to touch yourself."
Gray's muscles flexed to lift the 50kg weight and keep it lifted as he grabbed hold of his cock. He stroked, but the small movements with the weight hanging really were odd. Worse, the jerking movements of his wrist caused the weight to sway, pulling his arm even more. He groaned and had to lower his hand.
"Come on, now. I want to see you jerk yourself off." Natsu wrapped himself around Gray's body, clutching it, looking over his shoulder as his lips kissed along his back. "Open your eyes."
Gray opened them and saw Natsu behind him, staring with those eyes that looked sharp enough to stab. Natsu suddenly bit his shoulder. Gray groaned, throaty and open.
"I love how that gag thing makes you louder," Natsu said heatedly. "I wanna try something."
Natsu pulled the dildo out, and immediately he slid his own cock inside.
Gray felt the difference right away and tried to cry out, "Natsu!" His mouth could not make the syllables, only a noise.
"Just a little," Natsu whispered, and then he pulled out. He slid the dildo back inside. "And now, back to this." He shoved it in hard, pushing Gray up against the sink. "Can you tell the difference?" He pulled it out and slid his cock in.
Gray could definitely tell the difference. Natsu was wider than his dildo. He stretched him so erotically, he had to reach up again and stroke. However, after a minute, his arm lowered heavily. He growled in frustration. This was going to get annoying.
"I like doing it this way," said Natsu. He slammed his hips into Gray, but only until he felt the edge of darkness. Then he yanked out and immediately pushed the dildo in. "I can keep pleasuring you, but at my own pace. I don't have to worry about stopping. I can keep you filled up, stretched, and when I'm calmed down…" He pulled the dildo out and slammed his cock back in.
"'Ah-hu!" It was the closest his mouth could make to groaning Natsu's name.
Natsu kept going back and forth, the dildo then his own cock. Meanwhile, Gray's arm was starting to burn. The weight was fine normally, but it was the movements his wrist had to make that made holding it up so painful. All the stopping was keeping him on edge.
Just as Natsu was keeping himself on edge.
Gray looked up into the mirror, really watching. Natsu was inside of him again, and he saw the faces he made: pleasure, then a tight focus, the slightest flinch, and instantly he was out, the dildo was back, and Natsu looked like he was easing himself away from a ledge.
He was desensitizing himself!
Gray was amazed and so proud of him.
However, something else was going on. He felt a throb in his bladder. His legs were still spread, he could not squeeze his legs together to hold back.
How could he tell Natsu he really had to pee?
"Ah ou-ah ee." That was the best his mouth could make for I gotta pee.
Yet Natsu knew. Maybe he smelled it. "Hold it. I want you to come first."
He groaned. That meant lifting his arm up again and stroking. It was starting to burn.
"Too weak?" Natsu taunted.
"'Uck oou." There was no way Gray would let Natsu think he was weak. It was only 50kg. He could lift far more than that single-handedly.
It was keeping it up and trying not to sway it that hurt. Also, he had to lift and grab his cock. His fingers had to be loose which forced his upper arm to flex more so the forearm could work.
It honestly was a huge challenge. Gray made a note to make Natsu do this. Or had he already done this? It was hard to remember as his bladder burned and his cock throbbed.
Natsu removed the dildo and pushed in. Gray realized he must have added more lube, because his cock slid in so smoothly. He shuddered, and Natsu moaned loudly.
"Gray … I'm doing it."
Gray felt proud, but he also was burning up in pain. He could not talk, and his bladder was twinging hard. He had to squeeze, not wanting to piss himself and ruin the moment for Natsu.
"Ohh! I feel that." Natsu's fingers dug in and he slammed in harder. "The more you have to pee, the tighter you get. Is that liquid ready to burst out? First, I want your cum. Your arm dropped again. Come on, ice princess. Lift that weight."
It hurt! His cock hurt. His bladder hurt. As Natsu built up too much, pulled out, and pushed the dildo back in, Gray realized his ass was starting to hurt as well. This was the longest Natsu had been able to use his ass, after all.
He lifted his arm, but it shook now. When he tried to grab his cock, his hand quivered. He could only give a few strokes before the whole arm fell. He growled in frustration.
"Can't handle it?" Natsu reached forward and lifted the weight by the rope so Gray could raise his hand. "We obviously need to work on this exercise more."
Oh, he hoped that included Natsu shifting from the dildo to his cock and back again!
Gray stroked himself, huffing as he could finally really pleasure himself without struggling. He wanted to finish off before he really did piss himself.
"Looks like you recovered," Natsu said, and he sadistically dropped the weight, yanking Gray's hand straight down right as he was on the cusp of coming.
Gray shouted, partly from pain as that yanked his shoulder socket dangerously hard, and partly from frustration. What a sadistic little dragon!
"Aww, come on, ice princess. You're strong."
Yes, but this was not like normal lifting weights. His body was already sore from flogging himself, the angle was strange, his wrist needed to move, his fingers needed to grasp at just the right pressure…
Natsu leaned into his ear. "Tell you what. If you can touch yourself, I'll put my cock in. Every time you let go, you get the dildo. You determine what you get up your ass."
Put that way, Gray hefted the weight up. He really wanted Natsu's cock. As soon as he grasped himself, he felt the dildo slip out, and his ass stretched to fit Natsu's girth.
Yes! That's what he wanted!
He stroked himself as he felt Natsu giving shallow thrusts. His biceps burned. His shoulder throbbed. His forearm quivered. He wanted to finish off.
Then his arm dropped. Instantly, Natsu pulled out, and the dildo was back.
"Augh!" Gray dug down deep and pooled up more energy. He could do this!
Natsu watched, amused and aroused to see Gray struggling. He was also proud when Gray managed to lift the weight again, holding it with his entire arm quivering. He could feel the shoulder and back muscles even tensing. He was so determined!
It thrilled Natsu. He rewarded Gray by pulling the dildo out, and his cock pressed in.
The fear was gone. This wasn't even lovemaking to him. It was rewarding Gray!
"You can do it," he whispered, thrilled to see Gray strain.
"Auk!"
Natsu wondered what Gray was trying to say.
"Hauk!"
"Hawk?"
Gray shook his head and glared at Natsu in the mirror. "Khawk!"
"Cock?" Natsu was confused, but suddenly he got it. "Oh, talk." Natsu chuckled slyly. "Do you need to hear dirty talk just to get off? What a pervert!" Natsu nibbled on Gray's ear. "My pervy stripper! So desperate to touch yourself. So desperate for my cock. Do you like to feel it in there?"
Gray shuddered and nodded. "Ohr!"
"More? Just how greedy is my servant?" He reached up to the mouth guard and pulled it out. A flood of saliva came with it, spilling into the sink. "Say, 'I want My Highness's cock.'"
Before he could, Gray doubled over and dropped to the ground. Natsu followed him down, worried if something was wrong. A second later, Gray's cock shot out cum with a pain-laced groan. Natsu looked on in wonder.
"That's so good—"
Before he could finish the words, Gray's cock burst out urine. Natsu jumped back in surprise.
"Get to the toilet!"
However, Gray did not move. He curled down on his knees as a yellow puddle spread all around him. Natsu realized his ankles were still trapped by the spreader bar. Even if Gray had wanted to get to the toilet, he could not walk.
Natsu left the bathroom, fetched the key to the ankle cuffs, and returned. The puddle was all around. There was no way to get to Gray without stepping in it.
Grimacing, he stepped into the wet mess. His hand went to his nose to block the smell as he lowered to one knee so he could unlock the cuffs and ease them off Gray's ankles. He quickly stepped away to place the bar into the shower. He glanced back, saw Gray still on his knees pissing, and he shook his head. He really pushed things too far this time.
"Once you're done, I'll clean you up."
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
Natsu heard tears in Gray's voice. At first, Natsu panicked from the crying. Then he recalled what Gray had done in the past. Determined to help, he stepped back into the piss puddle, knelt behind Gray, and pulled him up into his arms so he could rest back on his chest.
"Don't worry about it."
"I'm weak," Gray cried. "I couldn't keep my arm up. I couldn't hold back my bladder. I'm always relying on you. I'm weak!"
"Hey, we're partners. You can rely on me." He kissed Gray's cheek. "I'm here, and I'm always going to be here with you. I want you to rely on me from time to time." He glanced down. "Looks like you're done."
"It's a mess," he sobbed.
"It sure is. My snowman melted and made a puddle."
That made Gray sputter out a weak laugh. "You asshole," he whispered in weariness.
Natsu carefully pulled Gray up and carried him to the shower. He knew he did not have to worry about the water being cold, so he turned on the shower and let it wash the mess off of Gray. Then Natsu looked back at the giant yellow puddle.
"I want you to rely on me, but I am not cleaning this up. It stinks."
Gray laughed softly in the shower. "If you can't handle that, how are you going to change diapers?"
Natsu looked over sharply. Diapers?
Akibare! Gray was talking about adopting that little baby.
"Let's make a deal," said Natsu. "I'll help with cleaning, cooking, bathing, everything else, but you're on diaper duty."
Gray laughed and slumped in the bottom of the shower. "Already figuring out our parental roles."
"Well, that's something we need to talk about."
Gray hummed, buzzing and on a floating high. "I wanna talk more about this, but not now. "
Natsu blushed and looked down at the mess. If he was going to be a father to a baby, he would have to get used to smelly messes. He took some towels and tried to cover the urine puddle. It burned his nose, but he could at least do this much
"Maybe I should put you in a diaper."
Gray laughed and smiled to himself. "Only if you wear one and piss your diaper in public."
"That's a big request. Think about it when you're not on a high. Now, scoot over and prepare for hot water. I need to wash the piss off of my feet."
Gray hardly moved, even as Natsu stepped in and turned the heat up to scalding. His mind was drifting on thoughts of diapers, both the adorableness of a baby and the naughtier thoughts of Natsu wearing one and squirming as he slowly pissed himself in public.
He definitely wanted that now.
Natsu cleaned himself up, washed down Gray, and then hefted him up into his arms to step out of the shower stall. A little flame dried them both off, and he carried Gray to the bed. The whole place smelled of urine.
As Natsu tucked him into bed, Gray looked over. "You haven't come yet."
"I did earlier. It's fine. This was all about taking care of you," he explained. "That's my only focus right now: making sure you're going to be okay."
Gray's eyes watered over. "I'm sorry," he wailed.
Natsu smiled sadly down at him. He knew this sort of fragile feeling all too well. He leaned over and kissed Gray on the forehead. "There's nothing to be sorry about." He knew that in this phase, praise worked well. "You were wonderful," he whispered, stroking Gray's head. "You really got me turned on. Doing all that with you was amazing. Thank you."
Gray looked up, and his eyes were full of eager happiness at getting praised. Natsu flinched, although he hid it by smiling at Gray. It felt so weird to be the one taking care of an emotionally fragile boyfriend after sex.
"Get some rest. I'll be back soon."
Natsu turned to go, but Gray's hand shot out to grab his wrist. "Where are you going?"
"My nose can't stand the smell in here. I'm going to find a mask that blocks scents, and then I'll come back and clean up your mess. You probably won't be better until morning, and if you let urine sit for that long, the smell will never come out."
"Don't go," Gray begged.
"I need to get something to cover up the smell, and then I need to make dinner for Happy."
"Please," Gray begged. "Your Highness, please don't leave me."
Natsu's mouth dropped. He actually said it, and willingly! How could he leave after that?
Natsu gave in, slipped into the bed, and wrapped Gray into his arms. He stroked back his black hair, leaned into his ear, and whispered, "I'm here, and I'll protect you."
Gray nodded and clung to him. "I'm sorry it smells."
"I'm the one who pushed you. Next time, we'll do that in the shower so if you make a mess, it's easy to clean."
Gray hummed and snuggled in. "Next time," he said with sleepy happiness.
Natsu stroked Gray's shoulders and arms. "I know you feel vulnerable right now, but you're strong. You'll pull through this."
"I'm sorry about the bruises," Gray whispered. "I'll talk to my therapist tomorrow. I don't want to hurt myself if it upsets you that much."
"Thank you," Natsu said, deeply relieved to hear that. "Listen to me, Gray. I trust you with my life, and I will love you through strong days and weak days. I have limits, though. I need you to respect them."
"I know," he mumbled. "I'm sorry."
"It was a moment of weakness. I forgive you."
That made Gray burst into tears. His head tried to hide away down into Natsu's chest. "I'm sorry. I don't deserve you."
"Oh, you shut up about that," Natsu teased. "Of course a popsicle like you deserves me. Who else is going to pleasure you like I do?" he said with a bold smirk.
"Brat," Gray mumbled, but Natsu's boasting made him chuckle, which helped him to feel better.
"When you feel weak, come to me. When you're angry, we'll fight. When you're horny, I'll try my best to satisfy you, although you're a pervert and insatiable, so sometimes I feel like I can't keep up with you."
"It's you who's insatiable, bastard," Gray grumbled.
"You're the one who gets riled up just hearing me talk."
He let out a contented sigh and nuzzled Natsu's neck. "I've always loved your voice."
Natsu's mouth dropped at that soft confession, especially how easily Gray said love. Then he wondered, was this merely the altered state of mind that went along with subspace?
If that was the reason, Gray could seriously freak out if he said those three words and realized it later when he was fully sane.
Natsu kissed Gray on the mouth. "Don't talk. Sleep."
Like a command, Gray's body went limp. As he began to snore, Natsu kissed his forehead.
"You idiot. I love you so much."
Natsu got up, pulled on his coat, slipped on his shoes, and was at the apartment's front door when his ears heard a sleepy mutter.
"Thank you, Natsu. I love—"
Before he could hear the end, Natsu slammed his fingers into his ears to plug up the sound of Gray's voice. He did not want to hear those words until Gray could say them properly. After all, he had promised Gray that he would not listen to those words until Gray could speak them to his face.
Still, if Gray could say it in his sleep, that was progress.
The next day, Gray sat in his therapist's office. The lady settled down and glanced him over, noticing the bruises right away. She had seen Gray with bruising before, but he normally explained right away that he either just came back from a mission, or he got into a brawl at the guild. This time, Gray was trying to cover a bruise on his arm with a twinge of shame on his face.
"Thanks for seeing me on short notice," he muttered.
"When it's a patient's boyfriend who calls me to beg for an appointment, I know it's serious." She saw Gray again make a gesture to hide a bruise. "Do you want to talk about how you got those?"
"Yeah, I guess. I told Natsu I would talk to you about it," he muttered. "He was ready to drag me in here yesterday."
She did not even need to fully hear him out. She jotted down Self-harm.
"First," he muttered, "I … I want to talk … about my mother."
The therapist nearly dropped her pen, and only years of professional comportment kept her from doing more than looking up over the rim of her glasses. This was a subject Gray had avoided his whole time seeing her.
Self-harm was serious, but they would come back to that later, after Gray got this important issue off his chest. She settled in with her notebook and gave him a reassuring smile.
"Where do you wish to start?"
She knew this session was going to mark a new milestone for Gray.
End of Chapter 78
- 77
- 78
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