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The Time For Change Is Now	By : Reika Category: +. to F > FAKE Views: 3033 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own FAKE, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 7
- 8
- 9
Disclaimer: I don�t own Fake, sadly.
A/N: Okay, most of my notes are at the bottom. There are a few, however, for up here. First of all, thank you for all the reviews for last chapter (and all the chapters before it).
I wasn�t sure about the trio�s schooling, so I apologize if anything is incorrect. It�s rather inconsequential�so please let it slide.
It�s now 5:13 in the morning and I *have* to stop writing. This chapter was longer, but I�ve decided to cut it in half. The next part will be the first half of the next chapter, and it will be here soon.
Thanks again, and I hope you enjoy it! ^.^

Chapter 8��Problem #1: Who we are

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The smell of cedar chips reminded Ryo of home. Not the apartment he inhabited presently, nor the house in which he had lived happily with his parents. No, the cedar brought Ryo to the home that was made for him. The structure was brick, drywall and tile � true � but the *home* was built by Elena, his aunt who, in her quest to provide Ryo with all the material things he would need, gave him instead something much greater � a new family.
He remembered packing away the sweatshirt before he moved from that home. He was, at first, prepared to leave it behind � with all its tattered edges and faltering stitches. However, Ryo had not been able to part with it. He supposed that love was something like his favorite shirt, not worn since he was in school � at times a bit too snug and no longer pristine, but soft, warm and familiar nonetheless. His aunt had been the one to pack the cedar pouch into the box, and Ryo was surprised that he could still smell it.
He found it regrettable � that he had not taken it out before now. Sure, it fit a bit tightly, and when Ryo extended his limbs the sleeves bore several inches of forearm, but still it was his favorite.
When he�d gotten home from Dee�s a sadness seemed to weigh him down. Bikky was not yet awake, and this gave Ryo time to dwell on his recent confusion while staring out into the grey New York City morning. He noted how much colder it was than the day before, but did so only briefly before his current conundrum came creeping back to him.
Dee could be so infuriating. The man insisted on pushing Ryo to his very limits, testing him. And still, Ryo couldn�t find it within himself to be angry about it. Of course it frustrated him to no end, but Ryo *had* to admit that the questions Dee made him ask about himself had been swimming around a lot longer than Dee himself. If he were to be truly honest, he�d first questioned his sexuality right at puberty � and dismissed the notion as simple teenage hormones � what *won�t* a sixteen year old boy lust after? Later, during college, when Ryo should have found the freedom to flourish, instead he took notice of society�s prejudices. He heard the word �fag�, not for the first time, but then it carried with it a malice that stung Ryo, made him ashamed.
He�d had a few girlfriends, very few for such a handsome man in his twenties, and equally few sexual encounters with women. All of them had succeeded in their task of bringing him to completion, but he was always left with a gnawing, empty feeling. He�d been teased about it in college � the girls around him gushed at his striking face and figure, giggling at the blush that laced his cheeks when they spoke of his shy demeanor and supposedly lagging libido. He let them think what they wanted to, of course.
Although he was definitely shy, the nights in which he awoke with a start � covered in sweat with an erection that could double as a night stick � spoke of his libido in terms that were most certainly *not* lagging.
He could never remember his dreams then, when he shot out of bed and headed for the gym, unable to again close his eyes. But later, toweling off after a shower that would be called cool at it�s most temperate, he�d been reminded. It never failed. He would, after his most honest efforts not to, let his eyes shift to the side � to the wrestling team, preparing to wash the sweat of an early practice away.
A curved upper arm or the delicate yet masculine line at the nape of the neck. Sometimes it was the more obvious of areas � chest, back, stomach � but Ryo seldom granted himself the time to look at those forr ofr of being noticed. As his breath involuntarily quickened with the images before him, he would see flashes, more explicit than reality, and knew *exactly* what his dreams had consisted of. Still�Ryo found it impossible to act on any of his pseudo-revelations; and over time the urges had managed to die down...until Dee Laytner, that is.
And so here he was, across town in the cold chill of morning in a sweatshirt that no longer fit him�because it was the only thing he own with a hood.
Although Ryo realized he most likely already knew the answers to the questions he was now forcing himself to ask, he needed proof�he needed�reminding. It was sheer coincidence that he knew the location of the less than classy adult book store all the way across town. Its existence had been brought to his attention during a case over a year ago, and now Ryo intended to go there and purchase what he would need to come to some semblance of acceptance. He intended to buy both male and female�images�and would, in the privacy of his own bedroom, then be able to admit (if to no one but himself) which it was he fancied.
The store was now across the street, he could see it. Ryo took a deep breath � he had never been in an adult store � the whole notion seemed vulgar and excessive to him. Still, he�d taken great trouble to get there. He had taken a cab across town in a hooded sweatshirt so as not to be recognized. He realized that the chances of such a thing were slim on a relatively early Sunday morning, but could not squash his paranoia.
There it was, still, across the street. All he had to do was step off the curb. Once the first step was over, he was sure he could continue the rest of the short walk. Steeling his resolve, Ryo took a deep breath�
�and marched directly to the common magazine stand to his left. Confused or not, porn shops just weren�t his style. After a less than scrupulous examination he pulled his hood down and headed home with a copy of both Cosmopolitan and Muscle and Fitness.
The salesman hadn�t even glanced at his face.
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After a long period of cooling off, Dee begrudgingly made his way over to the busted mug on the floor. He grumbled to himself at the mess, and disposed of the pieces unceremoniously.
He was frustrated � in more ways than one. Not only had he managed to chase out his former partner, *again*, but he�d had a realization�much to his displeasure.
He realized that, if he so pleased, he could quite easily take advantage of Ryo�s confused state. After his epiphany that morning concerning Ryo�s sexuality it had dawned on him that if he chose to he could easily convince Ryo that submitting to him would be the quickest way to get the answers he looked for.
*This* realization, however, was not what troubled him.
It also occurred to him, at some point, that he didn�t *want* to take advantage of Ryo. He certainly wanted him in his bed, there was no wavering from that constant in his life, however, he realized that he actually cared enough about the man to send him off to find answers his own way. It was important that Ryo figure out who he was, not for Dee, but for himself�even if that meant leaving Dee behind. Even if it meant letting go.
*This* realization made Dee want to shoot something.
After not taking advantage of JJ, despite the sometimes awkward moments that did not go unnoticed by either of them, now he let Ryo scurry off to figure out what he wanted, resisting an open chance to seize him.
Dee was going soft�and he didn�t like it one bit.
Still, it *was* best that Ryo solve his puzzles now, or else they might never be deciphered. Dee remembered his own situation, years earlier, and his own confusion. Although minimal by comparison, such an acceptance is not easy for anyone. Living as he did, an orphan all too familiar with the streets, Dee knew about many sordid things while most children only worry over their dolls. He learned, early on, about homosexuality, prostitution�rape. Unrelated things, really�unless you lived in his neighborhood.
Thankfully, Dee had always been known as a skilled fighter with a hot temper, and thus avoided any assault from the various gangs that seemed to take their pleasure in both boys and girls. He was, however, approached many times. It wasn�t until he�d gotten drunk with an older boy that he actually understood his body and its needs. The older boy was a neighborhood punk that Dee had seen around, and spoken to a few times. He�d always thought him quite aesthetically pleasing (as did everyone else), but thought nothing of it. By that time he had been devirginized � the girl being older as well. He had liked her enough, but lusted after her more. She had been very pretty, if not classy or polished. That night, lulled by the alcohol in his blood and acutely aware of the boy�s close proximity to him, he did not protest when a rogue hand found his thigh. The hand made its journey, and Dee noticed, not for the first time, the amazing shade of blue of the boy�s eyes as he reacted to his touch.
Although not given its own bubble on census forms, Dee knew then his sexual preference.
Dee Laytner liked beautiful things � beautiful people. The rest was just details.
Grunting, as introspection made his head hurt, Dee recognized the other frustration he was feeling. It was hard to ignore, as it was straining at his trousers. Stubbing out the remains of his cigarette he headed for the bathroom. If a warm body could not sate him, good, old fashioned porno would have to do.
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JJ stretched and yawned kittenishly as he slowly returned from the sandman�s lair. He noted that he was still in his clothes, and then that he was not underneath his bed covers. This brought back memories of Dee and the night the two had spent on the couch. The thought made him blush slightly.
It was then that he realized that Dee must�ve carried him to bed. With a fierce grin he conjured up images of himself in his Sempai�s arms. The thought was almost too much to bear, and JJ found himself gushing like a school girl. He hopped out of bed, curious as to Dee�s whereabouts.
After checking all the rooms in his spacious apartment, JJ confirmed (sadly) that the other man had left him. Prone to pessimism, he forced himself to remain as upbeat as possible, figuring that Dee had probably just not been able to get back to sleep. Besides, he had so caringly placed JJ on his bed and covered him with the blanket from the sofa�so he told himself that things were looking up.
He looked at the clock next to his bed; it was still early. With this thought in mind, and fighting the urge to call Dee, he flopped back onto his bed. He shed his clothes down to his boxers and crawled down into the comfortable blankets, prepared to sleep a few more hours. Although it was still morning, he could tell it would be a grey day; and on those days JJ found himself wanting to lie around lazily.
His eyes shifted over to the picture framed beside his clock. Although Ryo was in the picture as well, his focus was not on the other sharp shooter at all, but on Dee. As he stared at the man who seemed to alter his life repeatedly he felt the ghost of a sleepy smile greet his lips.
Even though his relationship with Dee was better now than it had ever been before, he was uneasy. They were in a precarious situation � the three of them. And JJ could not help but wonder if losing Dee to Ryo would hurt a million times worse now that he had found a million more reasons to love the man. No matter what�someone was going to get hurt.
Still he wouldn�t give up�not yet. The progress he had made with his Sempai had to count for something, and sooner or later Dee was bound to see that their relationship had extended beyond mere friendship. True, it had not migrated into a physical affair, but the tension was there and Dee would see it eventually�if he hadn�t already.
Drifting again into sleep � the make believe world where he could pretend his family loved him and he didn�t have to vie for Dee�s affections � JJ�s thoughts wandered back,oss oss an expanse of things both relative to his current trials and not.
He�d never been a normal boy. Even as a small child JJ had been prone to bouts of depression and hyperactivity. He had only vague memories of his family � He�d managed to block most of it out, leaving only nostalgic waves of sadness laced with the echoes of shouting and the smell of alcohol.
Later, when puberty came courting and his form shifted from one often mistaken for female to a rather pleasing balance in between, he immediately noticed something was amiss. Having grown into a right attractive young man he�d been fairly popular � with other boys. It wasn�t that he wasn�t handsome, but he seemed to lack the ruggedness the girls his age preferred. He was not what one would call effeminate, in his looks or his mannerisms, but rather, he possessed a kind of androgynous beauty. Men seemed to appreciate this. JJ never harbored any confusion over his preferences � he knew what he liked and accepted it almost immediately there after.
As the years passed, his stature improved a bit and by the end of high school he looked decidedly male. He had not, though, lost his charms that seemed to transcend gender. He found, in later years, that this could take him far.
He had not been anyone�s catamite, no, but he *did* find himself in a string of relationships with little merit beyond the sheets. Having been diagnosed as bipolar and on the verge of being disowned by the family that already wanted nothing to do with him; he saw no reason to change his convictions. That is�until his met Dee Laytner.
Without even meaning to the man had wormed his way into the conscious JJ had thought gone. At first he simply idolized him � the easy manner in which he presented himself, sexuality included. After a while, his feelings shifted and he wanted to touch him, to drown in him. It was then that JJ changed his life. He took his position at the academy seriously�and the rest�is history.
With a sigh JJ felt himself slipping away � sleep was on her way. Stretching out he noted, vaguely, that his bed really was too large for one person. It did seem a bit excessive, as he hadn�t had a lover in quite some time. He did enjoy having the extra room though�and he�d have to see what he could do about filling the empty space in the near future.
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TBC
Okay�.lots of notes.
First off�I�m so sorry if this made *no* sense. My brain malfunctions sometimes and I can�t quite inscribe exactly what is floating around in there.
Second, I didn�t really intend for this entire chapter to be about being gay�but well�it just turned out that way. I hope its okay�as I am, obviously, not a gay man (oh well�maybe my next life *tears*). I just thought it might be interesting to deal with all three men in one chapter explaining how they each handled the situation.
Lastly, the whole porn thing. Originally, I intended for just the first part with Ryo, but then in occurred to me that (to me, at least) Dee seems like a porno kind of guy. I think that�s part of his charm � the everyman thing. (Hey�I have porn�and most likely you do too, in some form�you *are* reading yaoi, aren�t you?) I thought it kind of symbolized some of the things that separate the two.
I tried to be a little more sympathetic to Ryo in this chapter. I do love him, I swear.
Sorry if this chapter was pointless, as it was mostly character work, but we�re returning to the plot next chapter (which is already half-written). It�ll be up soon� I *promise*.
Thanks for reading, I love you guys.
Please read and review.
Love and Kisses,
Reika
- 7
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- 9
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The Time For Change Is Now