Somewhere In Time

Sorry this one took a while to get finish, but the next (and final) chapter will be out by the end of the week! Thanks to all those who reviewed and please continue to do so! ^_^ Also, since it's mentioned in this chapter, I don't know anything about fox hunting and apologize ahead of time for any inaccuracies. Now, back to the story! Disclaimer: Don't own Fake. Diana stared at the contents of her teacup. Too bad I can't read tea leaves, she thought, maybe they'd be able to show me something. She was uneasy. After speaking with Dee the night before, she was sure everything would go smoothly with Ryo and him. However, Dee had left a letter for her later that night that was not encouraging. Sighing, she looked at Ryo across the table from her. He was even more aloof than ever as they shared a late breakfast together and she couldn't help but wonder what had happened between the two lovers. Dee hadn't gone into details about it, but he had written to some length about what he planned to do to win Ryo over. And she had a part to play as well. "Randy, I was wondering," Diana began, interrupting the uncomfortable silence. "Don't," said Ryo bluntly. "What?" "Don't ask me about Dee, just don't," he replied, not looking at her. "I wasn't going to, but now that you mention it-" "I only mentioned it so you wouldn't press me to talk about it!" he said crossly. She sighed. "Randy, life is hard enough without pushing away the people who love you." For a long time Ryo didn't reply, he just sat there, staring at the trees thoughtfully. "Are you aware of what is happening to Oscar Wilde?" Ryo suddenly asked. "The playwright?" "Yes, over in England. He's been arrested." "Really?" she said lightly, thinking he was trying to change the subject. "Yes, for indecency... for loving another man." "Oh," was all Diana could reply. "I know that if we were discreet, Dee and I would probably be fine, but," he reached a hand around to rub the back of his neck, "I don't think Dee wants to be discreet." "It's not one of his strong suits I'll grant you. However, I've never seen him so careful and considerate or so concerned about being inconspicuous with anyone before." Ryo's eyes glazed over with a kind of wistful melancholy as he spoke, "I believe you, Diana. I know he truly cares for me and I care for him a great deal- more than you know I think- but I don't know if I'm willing to uproot my entire life for this love." She tried to think of something comforting to say, but all Diana could do was look at Ryo will eyes full of empathy. Suddenly she regretted conspiring with Dee to win Ryo over. Maybe it was wrto pto push him into a relationship like this. "No," she said to herself aloud. "What?" Ryo asked, looking at her. "No, Randy, I think you underestimate Dee. Yes, he's brash and impatient, but I think he'd be willing to compromise. Won't you even try? Isn't his love worth it?" Ryo sighed heavily. "He's already let me know that its all or nothing..." He paused before continuing, "He wants me to come to California with him." Diana looked dumbfounded and Ryo continued before coulcould respond, "And I have Bikky to think about, too. Dee thinks I'm using him as an excuse and I suppose that's true to a point, but I am his guardian. What I choose will affect him one way or another." After a lengthy pause, Diana said, "I don't envy your choice, Randy, but I think you know that Bikky is a very strong child. If you were to choose to move to California, it might be better off for both you and him. People tend to be more open-minded out West." "Dee implied much the same thing. Still..." Ryo's voice drifted off as Diana's butler stepped up to them. "M'am, I thought I should inform you that the carriage is ready for you when you are finished here." "The carriage? Where are you off to Diana?" asked Ryo, glad of the interruption in the tense conversation. "WE are off," she corrected, "to Drake's estate." "And why is that, may I ask?" he said smiling. Diana always seemed to have something or another planned. Looking at Ryo, Diana marveled at how easily he could throw a smile on his face to hide his emotions. Poor Dee, she thought, he really does have his work cut out for him. Ryo's not an easy nut to crack. "There's a hunt today, a rather large hunt that Drake holds once a year. But don't worry, a large portion of people will be there merely to socialize, not to go on the actual hunt. We can stay back at the house with them and have luncheon," she said. "I don't feel much like it, but seeing as how I'm leaving the day after tomorrow, I suppose I should make an appearance before then," he replied, standing. "What? So soon? I thought you had at least another week," Diana inquired anxiously. "I know, I had planned to stay a bit longer, but... well, under the circumstances I think it would be wiser for me to leave as soon as possible," he answered. "Whatever you think is best, Randy," Diana replied, standing and walking back inside to prepare to leave for the hunt. Ryo remained for a moment on the veranda, struggling with himself. Obviously, Diana agreed with Dee and he felt somewhat slighted because of it. He had hoped she would see his side of things, even offer to speak to Dee on his behalf, but no such luck. Also, he didn't relish seeing Dee again. The man could be so...persuasive. He supposed he would have to see him again, though. With a deep breath he calmed himself and prepared to face Dee one last time before he left. "Maybe I shouldn't have come," Ryo muttered to Diana as they stood in the foyer of Drake's manor. "Don't be silly, Randy. You can't hide from things the rest of your life. If you choose to reject Dee, you can at least tell him to his face and take responsibility for your actions," she said under her breath as Drake stepped in to meet them. For the next half hour Ryo tried his best to make polite conversation with the large crowd of socialites gathered in the meadow behind Drake's estate. As much as he tried, he couldn't concentrate on the talk around him. His eyes constantly roved among the party-goers to catch sight of Dee. Ryo wasn't sure if he was so vigilant because he was hoping to see him, or praying not to. As the day drew on and the horses were brought out for those who would be joining the hunt, Ryo thought that perhaps Dee had decided not to attend. Then without warning, a voice close to his ear suddenly murmured, "Looking for me?" "Dee!" he was about to say, but the women around him beat him to it. "Deee! Where have you been hiding! I've been waiting for you!" Turning to the bubbly young woman next to Ryo, Dee grinned, "So sorry to worry you, luv. Perhaps I'll make it up to you later." He winked and sent the girl into a fit of giggles. Inside, Ryo was seething. He had been tearing himself up over Dee's offer and now it appeared as if it had all been in jest. How could he have been so attentive to him before, confessing his love, and then flirt so blatantly in front of him? But, then again, he couldn't return Dee's affections, so he should be relieved that he wasn't serious about him. But... but, it hurt. "Ryo, may I have a word?" Dee asked, putting a hand on his arm and steering him away from the crowd into a section of the nearby garden. Ryo let himself be lead behind the high garden wall and said in what he hoped was a composed voice, "You have something to say to me?" "A bit touchy today, are we?" Dee asked with a glint in his eye. "If I didn't know any better I'd say you were jealous, but I don't see why you would be since you've made it perfectly clear you'd rather not be with me." His voice was steely and Ryo was amazed at the transformation that had come over him. He'd been perfectly pleasant while in the mist of the crowd, but now, when alone, his eyes burned and his hands came to rest possessively on either side of Ryo's shoulders. Ryo swallowed hard as he realized he'd unwittingly let himself be trapped alone with this man who made his heart beat against his chest. A sudden yearning grew within him to reach up and touch his lips with Dee's. It would be so easy. Just a few inches and he could have his lover's mouth upon him, his warm embrace enfolding him. He was so close to giving in. Dee's harsh voice broke into his thoughts. "Do you really think I care about any of those simpering young girls? But you can't have it both ways, Ryo. You don't get to toss me aside and then stare daggers at anyone I speak with," Dee snapped at him and Ryo winced at the pain in his voice. "Dee I-" but Dee didn't let him finish, he sealed his lips over Ryo's and forced his tongue within Ryo's hot mouth. And Ryo kissed him back. All it took was an instant with Dee's body pressing him, visions of their passionate night together speeding through his mind, and all of Ryo's resolve crumbled. Back in Dee's arms, nothing else mattered. Then it was over, Dee was pulling away from him again, leaving him cold. "Whatever you decide, Ryo, don't have any regrets," he said, and with that he turned and left Ryo alone, leaning heavily on the wall behind him for support. Over her shoulder, Diana noticed Dee walking back toward the crowd. He looked more determined than ever. "You remember the plan, don't you Diana?" he whispered when he stepped beside her. "Yes, of course. Just don't do anything reckless," she replied. "Me? Reckless?" he said sarcastically, flashing her a smug grin. "You're hopeless," she said. "You better get going or they'll leave without you." He tipped his hat at her, "Good afternoon then." And with that he mounted his horse to join the others in the hunting party. When Ryo finally returned from the garden, he looked rather shaken. Diana tried to include him in her conversations as the afternoon worn away, but he remained quiet. After several hours, the less adventurous members of the hunting party turned back and returned to the manor. Evidently the chase was going well, but it was rather vigorous. Drake's hunts were known for this, of course. He had an enormous amount of property and a good portion of it was rugged and untamed; it made for a very exciting, but physically demanding, hunt. As if the large, cushioned chair he sat in was a bed of nails, Ryo constantly fidgeted and rearranged himself. His impatience and irritability was not lost on Diana. He hadn't said a word to her more than the obligatory, "Oh yes?" "Is that so?" and so forth, since he'd come back from the garden. Leaning close to him so those around them wouldn't hear, she whispered, "What in the world is troubling you Randy? For heaven's sake tell me and stop pouting already!" "I don't know what you mean," he replied, obstinate as ever. "You still haven't really made up your mind, have you?" she asked. When he didn't reply she added, "Well, you better make a choice soon, I can't take your sulking." "How can you say that?" he said through clenched teeth. "All this has happened so fast, how can you expect me to make such a crucial decision over-night?" Diana sighed and rubbed her forehead impatiently, "Normally, I would tell someone they had every right to take their time, but with you... I don't think time would help. You know what you really want to do, but you won't admit it. That's why..." she stopped herself. "That's why, what?" asked Ryo. Diana groped for something to say without letting any information slip out, "That's why... Dee is so forceful with you." Ryo looked at her skeptically, but he didn't pursue the matter. JJ had just returned looking rather sullen. Ryo found himself walking over to the silver-haired man as he dismounted. He'd assumed he would return with Dee. As he drew closer, Ryo saw that the man's clothes were caked and stained with mud, he was rubbing his arm as if it pained him. "Are you all right JJ? The hunt going well?" Ryo asked, trying to sound casual. He was surprised when JJ moved passed him in silent fury. "JJ?" he asked, putting a hand over his shoulder. JJ immediately shrugged it off and rounded on Ryo with an accusing glare. "Don't! Don't say my name like we're friends!" he said angrily. It took all his effort to keep himself from yelling, so as to avoid a scene. "I- I didn't mean to offend you..." Ryo stumbled, taken off-guard by JJ's obvious rage. Gritting his teeth, JJ lowered his voice, "I'd risk everything to be with him and he chooses you!" He paused in gather himself. "And you're too much of a coward to do anything about it! And don't tell me you don't care for him, I've seen the way you look at him!" Ryo groped for a response to JJ's accusations, but no words came. JJ waited for Ryo's reply and when said nothing, he turned around in a huff of disgust and stalked way. Sitting back down next to Diana, Ryo put his hands over his face. Where had that come from? Earlier in the day, JJ had simply ignored him. What had happened between him and Dee that caused him to lash out that way? "Randy? Are you feeling all right?" Diana asked, concerned that JJ had said something to upset him. "I- I really don't know, Diana," he said truthfully. "Come. Let's go inside for a bit. I'll have the servants bring us some chamomile tea; it'll calm you." Ryo was grateful for her concern and accepted her offer graciously. Several more hours passed without incident. Somehow, Ryo calmed himself and made an effort to converse with the other guests. It was nearing twilight when the remaining body of the hunting party returned. Drake rode at the head, a fox triumphantly strapped to the back of his saddle. Looking among them anxiously, Ryo frowned. Dee didn't appear to be with them.mn imn it! He desperately wanted to talk with Dee. Although he stiidn'idn't know if he could move to California permanently, perhaps they could arrange for him to make a brief trip to California and see how matters developed. It was a start, wasn't it? Again and again stragglers returned from afield and still Dee did not appear. The sky faded from a dusty rose into deep blue and Ryo began to worry. What if something happened? He started to question those who had recently returned and none of them had seen Dee for several hours. "Don't worry about him," Drake assured Ryo when he asked him the last time he'd seen Dee with them. "Dee sometimes likes to go off on his own. He'll probably come back quite late as usual." When Ryo still looked uneasy, Drake added, "I've known Dee since we were children and he knows this land like the back of his hand, so don't worry yourself." Drake patted Ryo's shoulder as he walked by him and sent a knowing wink to Diana, who grinned back. So far, so good, she thought... Leaning his back against the trunk of an ancient oak tree, Dee let his horse lap up the water of the small lake before him. It was only late afternoon, but the day was cooling considerably. He hoped it wouldn't get too cold this evening because he planned to be out for quite some time. Before he had left Dee had given specific instructions to both Drake and Diana that no one was to go out searching for him when he didn't return... unless it was Ryo. And if Ryo didn't come after him? Well, in the worst case scenario, Dee would have to come back alone, tired and hungry very late in the evening. But he wasn't going to consider failure, Ryo would come for him. The only worry he had was that Ryo wasn't as good a horseman as he was a sharp-shooter. The man had said he was an excellent rider, but Dee had never seen it. Still, Drake had been told to give Ryo a detailed description of where he'd 'probably' find Dee and to follow him far enough to be sure he was on the right route. It was quite a lot of trouble (and not a little bit childish) to go through so much just to get Ryo to admit his true feelings for him, but Dee didn't care. As long as it worked. Behind him, Dee heard the loud crack of a twig breaking beneath someone's foot. Turning sharply, he saw JJ walking toward him looking rather sheepish. "Hello, Dee," he said politely, "I'm feeling a bit fatigued myself, may I join you?" Without waiting for an answer, he sat down close to Dee and stretched out his legs. "I'm not fatigued, and I didn't say you could join me, JJ," Dee grumbled. It was unlike Dee to be so outwardly rude and dismissive with his past paramours, but JJ seemed to need a firm hand. The boy hadn't taken notice of the many subtle hints Dee used to try to dissuade him and it was becoming bothersome. "Oh, come now, Dee. It's just us here," JJ said, leaning his face suggestivelwardward the handsome man before him. "You don't have to hide from me." Just as his lips were about to meet JJ's, Dee jumped up, leaving the younger man to fall over hard into a tree root with a loud, "Umph." "Damn it, JJ!" Dee yelled, severely irritated now. "What? What is it? Why don't you want me anymore?" JJ whined plaintively. Seeing the forlorn look in his eyes, Dee couldn't help but feel some sympathy for the young man. He had never been on the opposite end of an unrequited love before knowing Ryo, and now Dee had some idea what the other man was feeling. "JJ," he said gently, but firmly, "I never meant to give you the impression that I loved you," he paused as JJ's gaze feel to the ground. "If I did, I apologize. However, I've found someone I do love and you have to respect that," he kneeled down and took JJ by the shoulders, "You have to move on and find someone who can love you back." With a tenderness Dee had never shown him before, Dee brushed the hair from JJ's face and looked into his eyes, saying softly, "You deserve that much." For a moment, they sat looking at each other, tears pressing the back of JJ's eyes. He was touched and torn apart at the same time. One corner of his mind was overjoyed at the look of kindness on the face of the man he loved, but the other part of his mind screamed in agony that Dee wasn't sorry because he had hurt him, he was sorry only because Ryo had brought out his sensitive side. It was only because he loved Ryo with all his heart that he finally could look upon him with such sweet sympathy. Why couldn't JJ's love ever reach Dee in the same way? Why wasn't he ever good enough?! As he watched him, Dee saw the myriad emotions shift across JJ's features; he went from unflinching yearning to sadness to, finally, anger. "I don't want you're pity," JJ spat out, abruptly standing and rushing to mount his horse. "JJ, I didn't mean-" but it was too late, JJ had leap onto his horse and was off in a flash of dust. Sighing, Dee sat back down heavily. Well, that went about as well as he could have expected. It was never easy to break someone's heart, especially when you were just coming to realize how painful it could truly be to long for someone who might never love you in return. It was simply too much for Dee to think about at the moment. It was a lovely, bright, crisp day and he wanted to enjoy it. Setting his head against the great oak, he breathed in the fresh air and tried to forget his troubles, if only for a short time. However, when he opened his eyes much later and saw the night growing dark around him, he berated himself for nodding off. If Ryo went looking for him, he would never find him out here at the edge of Drake's property. He would have to ride quickly to the deep hollow about a half-mile from the house, which was where he instructed Drake to tell Ryo he would most likely be. It was an easy spot to find off the main trail and Dee didn't want to take the chance of Ryo getting lost. But he had quite a ways to go to get there now. Sighing, he reached for his horse's bridle, only to find he was missing the horse. "Curse that animal!" he yelled into the evening. That beaad aad always been temperamental, but in some ways the stallion reminded Dee of himself and he had developed a great affection for the animal. Still, like Dee, the horse had a tendency to wander and was probably half-way home by now, looking for his bucket of oats. So, he walked. And stepped in what in the recent past must have been a bucket of his horse's oats. "Shit," he muttered, wiping his boot on the grass. From bad to worse! Grumbling to himself, he quickened hise ane and continued on. There was nothing for it, Ryo probably wouldn't find him out here, so even if he came looking, Dee's plan to seduce him out in the wilderness was shot. It would give him a good scare, though, wouldn't it? thought Dee. So at least his plan wouldn't be a complete failure. All the while he was thinking and walking and growing increasingly irritated and impatient, he failed to realize how dark the night had become. There was no moon that evening and the stars were dim. Had his mind been more on the trail ahead of him and less on his reluctant lover, perhaps he would have seen that great tree root looming before him. Perhaps he would have remembered the steep drop just to the other side of that tree. Perhaps he wouldn't have lost his balance and tumbled head-long down the stony embankment, effectively cracking his head on one of the numerous sharp stones at its bottom. Perhaps... But he hadn't been minding the trail and for the hundredth time that day he cursed himself for his stupidity. Then his mind went blank. "Don't you think someone should go look for him?" Ryo asked Diana again. "I told you Randy, he'll be fine, " replied Diana. "except..." she let her words drift off. "Except what?" Ryo asked anxiously. Noting his worry, Diana suppressed a small smile, "Except that horse of his is so unpredictable... It could have thrown him off like that time last year..." Diana looked side-long at Ryo, gauging his reaction and was rewarded with a very concerned expression over Ryo's features. "But I'm sure he's fine," she said, with just a touch of uncertainty. Diana dearly loved playing a bluff and she had to admit she was enjoying her part in this little rouse. "Well, just in case, I think we should send someone out," said Ryo, trying not to look too worried, but it was hard to hide. "If you're that worried, talk to Drake about it," she said, shooing him in the man's direction. She then watched as Drake explained that Ryo should be the one to search for Dee if he insisted there was something amiss. And just as he sent for a horse and was about to describe the main trail to Ryo and a dark figure appeared out in the meadow. Ryo walked out to meet it. Sweating, Dee's mount trotted up and allowed Ryo to handle his reigns. "This is Dee's horse!" he cried. "Something has happened to him!" Diana rushed to his side and examined the horse for herself. "It is Dee's horse," she said almost to herself. That was interesting, she thought, Dee hadn't mentioned anything about sending his horse back alone. In fact, he seemed to treasure the rather unruly animal, though she couldn't fathom why. Now why he would take such a chance on loosing the creature, she pondered. Unless, something hadn't gone according to plan? "Drake," Diana said in a serious tone as he stepped up to her, "I think something is wrong." The man didn't seem to like the tone in her voice, his brow wrinkled. "I'll send for my horse and go myself," he replied. Dee could be angry with him later, but if something really had happened to his friend, he wasn't going to leave things to chance. However, before his own horse could be brought to him, or before either of them could speak a word, Ryo had jumped on Dee's horse and was off and running. "Randy!" Diana cried, but he didn't hear her. "Damn it!" yelled Drake, "get my horse! Quick!" But Ryo was already fading from sight. He couldn't say why, but deep within his gut Ryo knew something was terribly wrong. His heart twisted within him and he urged the horse on, faster, faster. "Show me where he is," whiswhispered. "Please!" he thought aloud, "please don't let anything happen to him." For the first time since he was a young child, Ryo was truly afraid. He had acted like a coward, ignoring his own feelings and letting his fear guide him. 'Whatever you decide, Ryo, don't have any regrets.' Dee's words rang in his head. Just let me find him, let him be ok and I'll never have any regrets about being with him ever again. His hands squeezed the reigns tightly as he pushed the horse onward into the night. Please, God, he prayed, let me find him... *******Will Ryo find Dee in time? Oh dear, how I do put these two though the ringer! I'll try and be quick with the next chapter! (As a side note, I wanted to say that someone made a good point that I'm not very descriptive with the details about clothing and settings, etc, etc. Why is this? Honestly, I'm lazy! I have so many other projects on hold to write this and it's taking up too much of my time as it is, so... that's my poor excuse! Gomen!)