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Monsters	By : Macx Category: Descendents of Darkness/Yami No Matsuei > General Views: 2644 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Descendants of Darkness (Yami no Matsuei), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Monsters
- 2-part 2
- 3-part 3
- 4-part 4
- 5-part 5
- 6-part 6
- 7-part 7
- 8-part 8
- 9-part 9
- 10-part 10
- 11-part 11
- 12-part 12
- 13-part 13
- 14-part 14
- 7
- 8
- 9
"And he... let's just say he liked me helpless. Liked inflicting
pain. Thankfully he drew the line at sharing..."
Watari didn't really know what had ridden him to tell Hisoka of all
people his story, all the gory details of how his one and only love of
his mortal life had used to use him, abuse him in every possible way. It
had been rare occasions, but every once in a while Yuki had been more than
just a little rough. Sometimes it had hurt like hell, being tied down,
listening to Yuki's acid words and biting down on the gag as not to scream
when he hit him. And later... especially later, when Yuki had spread him
open and buried his fingers into his hair, holding his head back when he
had buried himself into his body...
But he had loved Yuki, and Yuki had loved him, had he not?
No. He had used him. And killed him when he hadn't been of any more
use.
When he had arrived in Meifu it hadn't been much better, letting himself
get attached to the computer as... a human interface? Living ROM
extension? But that he had never told anybody and didn't plan on doing
anytime soon.
"He used me, and I allowed him to do so. I didn't fight it."
Watari felt arms closing around him almost hesitantly and he looked
through his tear-blurred vision � when had the tears started to fall anyway?
� into Hisoka's green eyes, utterly surprised now at the gentle gesture.
Hisoka wasn't one for tenderness. At least not toward others than Tsuzuki.
"Yes, you did," the boy said softly. "And you still do. How long do
you plan on giving him that right?"
"W- what?"
"How long do you plan on letting him do that to you? When are you planning
to stop being the victim and regain control over your life?"
"Hisoka...?"
"You know I'm right. He has been controlling you since you were sixteen
and you let him because you didn't know better. Now you do and he still
has influence over your life, even over you, your actions, the way you
think about yourself? The man is dead, Yutaka. Let him rest."
"Hisoka, I don't..."
"I know. All I say is let go."
His arms tightened around Watari as a dam broke and tears started to
fall for real. The floodgates were open, the memories rushed past his inner
eyes, and all that pain mixed with the experience that had launched the
whole thing.
Watari cried; and for the first time he did so for real.

Hisoka held the sobbing man, felt the tears soak his shirt, but he didn't
care. He held on to the trembling form, felt hands clench into his t-shirt,
twisting the fabric, and he ran a gentle caress over the mass of blond
hair. His shields were holding, warding off the whirlpool of emotional
overload radiating off the older shinigami. He didn't need to �read' Watari
any more.
Finally he looked up to meet the thoughtful gaze of his own lover. He
had known Tsuzuki had been there, a silent witness in the background, unnoticed
by Watari, and had been thankful the older man hadn't intervened.
For a while, throughout the most horrific parts of Watari's tale, when
Hisoka had fought with his own emotions, he had latched onto the well-known
and loved presence of his partner. Tsuzuki had, knowingly or unknowingly,
been his anchor.
Violet eyes met green ones, and Hisoka scowled, only to be rewarded
with a faint smile and a nod before Tsuzuki slipped back out.
°
Soothing hands stroke over his back, and Watari sniffed.
"... sorry ... "
"Don't be."
"It's just... I don't know how... its been with me all my life, and..."
"Look, I don't tell you to just get over it, because it's not that simple,"
Hisoka said evenly. "But how about making the first step? I know it's not
easy but I made it, too.
And guess what I realized? By dwelling on my own misery I almost missed
the best thing that ever happened to me. Sure, it's not easy. Sometimes
I'm with Tsuzuki and suddenly I see cold silver eyes looking down on me
or hear other words whispered in my ears, but... I don't feel it, you know?
I always know it's not him. It's not a nightmare. It's warmth and love
and I let myself feel it. I need to feel it, and Tsuzuki gives it freely.
You always know it's not Yuki. And whoever the guy was who raped you, it
certainly wasn't the man who loves you. Tatsumi is a dangerous man, but
hey... aren't we all?"
Watari stared at Hisoka, dumbstruck. He had never heard the boy say
so many words in a row, much less holding a speech like that or be that
open to anybody. The things he had just told him... Watari hadn't known
what Hisoka really had suffered, and... they hit home.
"Hisoka..." he stammered.
"Just think about it, Watari. Whatever you want to do from now on, it's
your decision. If you really want Tatsumi, still want him, you'll have
to do something about it, both of you. There are people who will help you,
but you have to make the first step. Talk to him, Watari. The man misses
you."
And I miss him � gods, so much... Maybe he's right?
"Hisoka?"
"Hn?"
"Thank you."
The answer was a little dismissive snort � so like the Hisoka he knew
� and Watari couldn't help grinning through his tears. He wrapped the smaller
shinigami in a tight hug, and felt the hug being returned.
Maybe Hisoka wasn't a counselor, but he was a damn good friend.
° ° °
Hisoka stepped into his apartment and closed the door behind him, not
quite expecting the arms that were wrapped around him immediately. But
he had known the other person to be present and that he posed no threat.
It was like a gentle presence that his empathic mind had already catalogued
as belonging to Hisoka, and he was never surprised by it. Early on, in
the first few weeks, the surprise had happened. Tsuzuki's sudden appearance,
his emotional overloads when he was excited or angry for example, had floored
Hisoka more often than not.
He had answered those tsunamis with stronger shields.
Now he answered the gentle presence lapping at the edges of his mind
with open arms, inviting him in, letting the life and love embrace him.
Tsuzuki wasn't without his own demons, but somehow, he was balm for
Hisoka's soul.
As the arms tugged at his waist he allowed himself to be pulled against
Tsuzuki, leaning into the other's presence as well as his body.
"You did good, Hisoka," a dark voice muttered softly, and he turned
a little, meeting his lover's lips, before freeing himself from the embrace.
"Why? Because I told Watari the truth?" he almost snarled. His defenses
were suddenly rising.
He hated to go back to that part of his past again. Not twice in a day.
Not even twice in a damn year.
"Especially because you told Watari the truth," Tsuzuki agreed gently.
Violet eyes were following his every move through the apartment, which
had changed profoundly during the last months. Where it had been sparsely,
almost spartan � simply functional, he had stated; sterile, Tsuzuki had
countered � there were pictures on the walls now, flowers and plants on
the windowsill, cushions and throw pillows on the couch, even some candles.
The neutral beige and black colors had made way for much more warmer ones,
like sunny yellow or earthy red tones. It all melted together into comfortable
and homey. Hisoka hadn't exactly planned on changing it; it all had started
with a simple plant Tsuzuki had brought one day. The plant had stayed,
as had Tsuzuki.
A hand snaked around his wrist, pulling him out of his thoughts and
onto the couch � and the warm body already resting on it.
"Tsuzuki," Hisoka protested, only halfheartedly, and Tsuzuki didn't
react to that protest, nothing but pulling him close and bringing their
lips together.
Heat coiled in his belly as Hisoka willingly opened his barriers, letting
in the love, and the lust, too, allowing it to pull him into its seductive
depths. Moaning softly he let his fingers starting to wander.

tbc...
- 7
- 8
- 9
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Monsters