In The Spaces Between Words

---Sometimes When We Touch---


It was three in the morning, and the Kira Investigation Headquarters was deathly silent but for the hum of the air conditioning, computers and other machinery. Light’s vision was occasionally hazing over from the long time he had spent staring at the computer screen to look through data on Yotsuba and the deaths around it to see if he could narrow the short-listed twelve suspects down. He glanced sideways at L to take a break, wondering how the other could stare continuously at screens like that, almost without blinking, without feeling completely exhausted or having his eyes blurring. The other was absently eating a plate of prosciutto e melone, pushing the ham aside to eat only the melon, as he continued to shift his gaze between the computer screen and the surveillance camera monitors.


On a strange impulse, since he wasn’t really even hungry, he reached out and nicked a piece of ham. Prosciutto was expensive; if L wasn’t going to eat it, he may as well keep it from going to waste. As he pressed the thin slice of meat into his mouth, he felt intense dark eyes train on him piercingly. Not even needing to look to know that L was staring at him, since he had never really snagged any of the other’s snacks before, he closed his eyes briefly to rest them. Absently, he wondered if stealing the detective’s food constituted Kira-like actions in the other’s perspective, but at the present moment, he really couldn’t care less.


Suddenly, he heard the unpleasant grating sound of porcelain scraping against Formica and turned to look in the direction of the noise. L had pushed the plate closer to him. The melon was now all on the left side, nearer to the investigator, and the ham had been gathered on the right side, nearer to him. The fork had been placed in the center between the two clusters of food. He grinned slightly, knowing that the older man would catch the expression in the surveillance camera monitors even if he wasn’t looking in Light’s direction, and reached for the fork to spear another slice of ham of it. He replaced the fork after eating the tidbit and returned to gazing at the screen.


Munching intermittently on an incarnadine piece of cured meat, Light returned to browsing through the data on his computer screen. Glancing at the figures, he quickly made a few calculations to see if anything stood out, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary. He went back to looking at the rest of the data, absently noting that L liked only the melon and he only the prosciutto. It occurred idly to him that they should probably eat together more often if that trend surfaced in other foods as well, since it would avoid scenarios like Sayu and him fighting over the same piece of chicken or last cup of strawberry pudding.


The words he had been reading blurred before him and he squeezed his eyes shut to rest them briefly, reaching out blindly for the fork to grab another slice of ham. Instead of cold hard metal, his fingers brushed warm soft skin, and he turned sharply to glance in that direction, eyes flying open sharply in surprise as he withdrew his hand to find L reacting in kind. Deep hazel met glazed black for a long awkward moment before Light remembered his perfect manners.

“Sorry, you first. Please, your food,” he said.

The socially inept detective said nothing in response, averting his eyes as he fed himself another piece of melon, and Light shook his head in almost fond exasperation. Anyone else would have said something like, ‘No, you go ahead. It doesn’t matter, since we’re sharing.’ L was so sheltered from the ways -and ills, he added as an afterthought- of society, a sharp contrast to his raw genius and insolent daring. His speech was always polite, but his words were always blunt and tactless, his actions always unorthodox and insensitive. Often, it was annoying and usually led to problems within the team, eventually alienating the proud and quick-tempered Aizawa, but sometimes, he thought the other’s weird quirks were rather interesting. In times of boredom, it was fun to ponder on why he did the strange things he did, and Light wondered if any of the theories he’d come up with in passing were correct.

“Your eyes are tearing, Yagami-kun,” the investigator observed suddenly, bringing him out of his reverie.

He blinked. “Yeah…” he agreed quietly, turning back to the file he was reading after snagging another slice of prosciutto.

“You should rest.”

Only courtesy kept him from snapping, ‘Like you care,’ back at the older man. Instead, he said, “Yeah… Just let me finish reading this page.”

L said nothing to that, simply turning back to his own set of data, watching his companion blinking furiously every few minutes or so out of the corner of his eye. Maybe Yagami Light wasn’t Kira. He wouldn’t really work this hard or persistently to catch himself, would he? Of course, he could simply be pretending. Or perhaps the power had passed on, and he didn’t know that he had been Kira anymore. Honestly, he thought this last possibility was the most likely, but there was no way to prove it, and it dug the question of whether someone briefly possessed and manipulated by the power still deserved the death penalty.


Sometimes, he was really sure Light was the Principal Kira; he fit all the characteristics perfectly, right down to the way of thinking involved. And sometimes, he doubted that belief; no one could act that well. But if –going by that last theory- he had been Kira and no longer remembered it, and Yagami Light the way he was now was a good person with a strong sense of justice, then would executing him now do anyone any good? Furthermore, there still existed the off chance that the power might return to him. What would L do then? Lost in his thoughts, he failed to notice the younger genius’s actions until the chain between them clinked noisily just as warm hands came to rest on his shoulders. He instantly tensed at the contact.

“You always sit like that. Doesn’t it strain your neck, back and shoulders when you stare at the computers that long in that position?”

He silenced a gasp as strong fingers began kneading the muscles in his neck and shoulders. “It—”

“See, you’re so stiff here,” his prime suspect interrupted before he could even begin his protest, thumbs rubbing up the back of his neck soothingly.

“I told you. I must sit like this,” he said, strained, cringing slightly as warm hands on his shoulders kneaded firmly, but he only raised a thumb to pale lips and began nibbling nervously on it, not wanting to admit that the tactile contact was making him uneasy. In truth, he was certain Light knew but was doing it anyway.

“Yeah… or your investigative abilities decrease by forty percent, I know.”

“Then, you want me to stop sitting like this because you know. Nineteen percent,” L taunted, wincing slightly as the other’s thumb pressed on a tendon in his shoulder.

Light chuckled. This was getting old. “Actually, as long as you really feel comfortable sitting like that, it doesn’t matter to me. I was just wondering how you can sit for so long in such a tiring position.”

He was almost getting used to this. Sometimes, L would playfully taunt him; at other times, he would seriously bait him. Always, some measure of it would be taken into earnest consideration for the probability chart in the detective’s mind, but there were always those he could laugh off and those he wanted to punch the sleuth for. Granted, he was going to beat L up nicely someday because he just knew the older man would find some way to piss him off that badly eventually, but he wasn’t about to let it be for the lack of him trying to at least get along peacefully. He was Yagami Light, popular, charming and friendly top student and perfect son, after all; he wasn’t going to allow the eccentric investigator to be the only mar on his flawless social scoreboard. Besides, L had his likeable moments and positive aspects; if they got the whole Kira issue out of the way, he was sure they would get along just fine. He just had to stop rereading that long mental list he’d compiled of the other’s unsavoury habits to himself.

“It’s called ‘a force of habit,’ Light-kun,” the oddball replied, inexplicably finding himself beginning to relax as stiff and knotted muscles were rubbed and kneaded well. Had he really been that tense all this while? He hadn’t noticed the slight aches, and although he disliked physical contact with others, he had to admit that what Light was doing now didn’t feel so bad.

Light grinned slightly as he felt the detective slowly relaxing into a seemingly boneless position in the chair, leaning back into his touch. He closed his eyes; he was tired. This way, L would probably relax enough to actually go to bed. A rustle and crackle of plastic told him that his companion was popping another piece of candy from the pile on his desk into his mouth as he massaged the sides of the other’s neck in a circular motion. That was bad. Sweets kept the investigator awake and alert. At this rate, he might not get to sleep on a bed that night. Unless… No, that was not an option. L didn’t relinquish his sweets. Speaking of which, he wondered why the sugar addict was so fond of confectionery. It certainly wasn’t a matter of keeping alert, really, since L ate candy even when he wasn’t doing anything. While it was definitely a factor, if he said that was the only reason he ate so much candy, that was a load of bull.

“Ryuuzaki, why do you like sweet things so much?” he asked quietly, watching as the look on the other’s face grew pensive in response. Naturally, L wasn’t the sort to say something like, ‘I just do,’ he knew, or there wouldn’t be any point in asking.

“Mm… Did Light-kun’s parents give him a lot of sweets when he was little?” the older man queried contemplatively.

Light perpended the matter briefly, giving it due thought. “I suppose they gave me as much as was reasonably healthy,” he replied slowly.

The investigator nodded in comprehension. “Then that must be it. I did not have parents to give me all the sweets I wanted when I was a child, so I suppose it is still a special treat to me,” he mused thoughtfully.

The younger genius smiled slightly in understanding. “Ryuuzaki is an orphan then?” He reached up to rub the other’s temples.

Obsidian eyes slid shut. “Correct,” came the murmured affirmative.

The brunet paused, wondering if he should chance asking the next question and provoking another round of the insomniac’s paranoia. Finally, he enquired tentatively, “Where were you born?”

Predictably, L tensed, eyes flying open in alarm as he straightened into a rare example of perfect posture. He could almost read the other’s thoughts going, What am I doing? He is the First Kira. He is fishing for information, for a weakness, for my identity. I should never let my guard down.

“Ryuuzaki…” he whispered, pained.

“Are you asking as Kira, Yagami-kun?” the other demanded, his deep gentle voice now cold and suspicious.

Too exhausted to get angry, Light merely sighed sadly. “I’d say I can’t possibly be asking as Kira, since I am not Kira, but there really is no sense in telling you that because I know you will never believe me. All I can say is that you don’t have to tell me anything you don’t think I should know. I won’t ask again.” He let his hands fall to his side as a deep sense of sorrow welled up inside him. Kira was an ever-present shadow on their friendship. Had Kira never existed, they may have been close friends, best friends even, but on the other hand, they would also never have met.

“Let’s go to sleep, Yagami-kun,” the orphan said at length after a long moment of heavy silence, clambering out of his chair awkwardly. L had absolutely no grace. He shoved his hands in his pockets and began walking to the bathroom.

The younger genius nodded despite knowing that the other couldn’t see him and trailed after the older man. They took turns brushing their teeth before climbing into bed together. As usual, they each slept near one edge with their backs to each other. Light gazed out the windows at the starless night sky; it would probably rain tonight. Just when the curtains were drawn, there wasn’t even a moon to be seen. As he gazed on, it began raining small drops of water drizzling down from the sky, and he somehow found himself thinking of the incident with Aizawa again.

“L..?” he called softly, hesitantly.

“Yes, Yagami-kun?”

“You don’t trust anyone, do you?”

“Least of all you, Kira,” the detective agreed flatly without missing a beat.

The brunet closed his eyes; he was simply too tired to start this customary quarrel right now. It wasn’t long before he felt himself drifting off as weariness over came him. Just then…

“America.”

“Eh?” he responded sleepily. It was the most intelligent reply his barely awake brain could muster.

“I was born in America,” the other clarified.

Fully awake now, he said, “I see,” realizing the gravity of the other’s words. Even now, L was most likely calculating the risk of telling him that, the odds that he really was Kira and the likelihood of him finding out his identity from just that alone. “Thank you,” he whispered softly, glad that the paranoid eccentric had chosen to share that bit about himself in the end, even if it seemed like he was risking his life in doing so.

He turned to face the older man, only to find that L had already rolled over to face him and was staring at him piercingly as if daring him to try finding out his real name and killing him with the extra information given. The investigator was biting the nail on his right index finger. Light reached out tentatively across the distance between them to curl his fingers around the other’s left ones tightly. The orphan flinched, but did not pull away.

“I promise you… We will catch Kira together. I think that if we believe in it from the bottom of our hearts, it will surely happen,” he said firmly. L, you’re like a shard of broken glass, cutting everyone who touches you. But every shard of glass has two smooth surfaces. If I learn how to pick you up right, surely my fingers will not bleed. Someday, I want this friendship to be more than just a civility or pretense, he swore to himself silently. “Then we can tell each other all about ourselves without worrying if it will get us killed,” he added with a small smile.

Abruptly, L grinned widely. “Justice will definitely prevail,” he asserted, full of conviction as usual, squeezing the Yagami boy’s fingers briefly for emphasis.

Light nodded before closing his eyes. “Goodnight, Ryuuzaki,” he murmured.

“Goodnight, Light-kun,” he heard the other reply, and it wasn’t long before he was deep asleep again. Meanwhile, the world’s greatest detective wondered when his heart would give out on him and why it was suddenly filled with this strange warm weight.


A/N: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, YAGAMI LIGHT!!! <3333333 So Light gets a bit of his scheming and super high self-esteem back. XD I hope you enjoyed it and please REVIEW!!