Misery in the Mountains

I was up at dawn, surprised I had even slept the whole night through. I was hoping to sleep in a little, but stretched the sleep away and sat up. My stomach wasn't in fiery pain like last night, but was instead a dull ache, like someone had elbowed me in the gut. I'm not exactly sure if that was an improvement or not. "Fuck," I hissed, doubling over. There was a shuffle of cloth on earth, and someone said "Lay back down, dumbass." It was Sanzo, looking at me with those drooping purple eyes like a person might look at a dog that refuses to lay down even though its leg is broken.


I turned and glared at the monk. "Thought you'd be enjoying the show," I hissed, making sure the vemon was there in full force.


"I'm not sadist, you pervert. Besides, you're no go to me dead," he said. God, I wanted to reach over and punch the shit outta him! He turned away and sat up, cracking his back and reaching for his cigarettes. "Lay back down, or I'll knock you out. You'll reopen your wound."


"Let me worry about me, okay? You're not cut out for compassion," I said, the ache slightly fading. Slightly.


"I can't decide if you're hard-headed or just plain stupid," the monk said, looking at me. "Which is it?"


"Hey, shut up..." was Gojyo's mumbled reply.


"It's too early to argue," Hakkai said, just as sleepily.


Goku simply snored away.


"Wait til I'm better and I'll show you," I said, managing to straighten up and bite back my pain and urge to double over again. I could feel my eyes buring with anger, and made sure Sanzo saw it, too.


"I'm very scared," he said calmly, ignoring me. He just thought I was a kid, a hillbilly, probably. He didn't care that my grandfather was the greatest alchemist that ever lived, he didn't care that I could take down ten youkai with an arrow in my gut, he didn't care about anything except for showing my up. I must admit, that pissed me off. And really pissed me off. Things normally rolled off my back like water, but I wasn't going to take much more of this. When I insulted Goku last night, I was only irratated. Those guys yesturday? I got ticked, but it was nothing. But now, I was livid.


Moving fast enough to catch the priest by surprise, despite my pain, I whipped out my sword, the blade just barely touching the skin of Sanzo's neck. I could tell by the wide, surprised look in his eyes that he really wasn't expecting this, and no, he wasn't terrified, but slightly scared, so that made me feel better already. "Do not say another word to me, priest, or you will meet your maker."


"You'd better put this fucking sword away, or I'll..."


"If you can draw your gun and shoot me between the eyes before I decapitate your ass, then I'll die quietly. Until then, don't tempt me." I leaned forward slightly, the pain from my stomach just a memory, Sanzo's eyes filled with hate, almost as much as mine. Suddenly, I broke the stare-down and withdrew my sword, plunging it back into my arm, completely bewildering the priest. "I'm not gonna soil my blade on you," I sighed, sounding like my old self. I layed back down, and heard a handgun cock, and I knew it was pointed at my head. "I should kill you now," he hissed. "What's stopping me?"


"Nothing," I said, and wihtout a thought rolled over, my back to him, realizing that I was feeling extremely confident, like my little warning had been enough to convince the monk to not try anything funny. Of course, I really never think like that, so it was an interesting feeling, to be so confident that I could turn my back on a pissed-off, trigger-happy priest and expect to survive.


So imagine my surprise when I woke up a few hours later, still alive, with no extra holes in my body. I would have been just as surprised to discover I was born without a belly button. I sat up, looked around, and saw that there were no clouds or hot chicks with wings playing harps, nor did I see flames and red guys with tails and pitchforks, so I wasn't dead. Yet. The sunlight shined through the leaves of the branches above me, and the birds chirped cheerfully. I patted down my chest, and sighed when I saw no blood on my hands. "Wow, I really am alive....why?"


"Don't ask me." I turned and Gojyo was leaning against the tree trunk, smoking as usual. "Don't you have anything better to do than babysit me?" I asked. Gojyo grinned. "Not particularly. Why?"


I shurgged. "Where is everyone?" The camp was deserted except for us, and it felt weird when I was the last to get up.


"Getting something to eat."


"And that's a three-man-job?" I asked. Gojyo grinned. "No. It was more of a 'Goku whining, then running into the forest to find food, then Sanzo chasing after him to kill him, then Hakkai following them just in case Sanzo did try to kill him' job."


"Makes sense," I said, then winced when I tried to stand up. Gojyo didn't try to help me stand, thank God, but it was a bit of an ordeal just to walk twenty feet behind a tree and piss.


"So, what the hell happened this morning?" Gojyo asked when I came back. "I heard you and Sanzo going at it, and by the glares he's been giving you all morning, I'd say you won. Hakkai actually suggested I stick with you just in case Sanzo decided to but a bullet through your brain."


"He just pissed me off," I said, sitting down beside Gojyo. "I just couldn't stand him any longer, so I...sorta threatened to decapitate him."


Gojyo froze, then burst out in thunderous laughter. "You did WHAT?! Holy Shit! No wonder he's been so quiet today, I shoulda tried that a long time ago!"


For some reason, I had an attack of extreme quilt. "I didn't really mean it..." I said, even though I had at that moment.


"Why the hell're you apologizing for? Its time for someone to put him in his fuckin' place." Gojyo couldn't stop grinning as he gave me a high-five.


"It's not something I want to brag about," I said, looking at the other man. He was grinning like that damn Cheshire Cat, but luckily he didn't talk in riddles.


"Kid, you either have serious thrill issues, or you're balls are pure frickin' bronze."


"Thank you?" I wasn't sure if I wanted that sort of compliment.


"Hey, good morning!" I turned to see Hakkai, followed by a bouncing Goku asking when breakfast was going to be done, and very far behind him was Sanzo, walking slowly with the biggest frown I've ever seen. His muscles had to be sore to hold a grimace that long! I was actually glad for their company, and I realized that I had gone without a lot of social contact for a while. Sure, they could be annoying as hell and sometimes I wished I could stab myself with my sword, but they also made me laugh a lot too, so it was all good I guess.


Breakfast was a loud and crazy ordeal, mostly because Hakkai kept trying to get Sanzo to eat, but he was being his normal cheerful self; wait, he's been even more cheerful, probably since this morning's tiff. Note the sarcasm in my voice. I was quiet, because I knew I was the reason he was being even more bitchy than normal. Now that I was cooled down, I was almost bothered by my threat I had made. You know, the whole heat of the moment thing. But, I couldn't exactly apologize either, mostly because that pricky little thing called "Pride" kept breaking out of the padded room I usually keep it locked up in and saying that Sanzo deserved it, which he did, but that only brought me back to sqaure one.


"Sanzo, I'm bored," Goku whined a while later. The boy was lying on the ground, looking like the laziest slug I've ever imagined. Gojyo had been lying on the ground, taking a cat nap; Hakkai was reading a small book that I swear he kept hidden in his hair, Jeep in his white dragon form curled around his shoulders. Sanzo was a few feet away, legs crossed, eyes closed. I think he was actually meditating! That's like seeing a demon praying, seriously creepy stuff.


I looked up from the small knife I had been sharpening, glad for the rest. "Well, what's Sanzo gonna do about it, Goku?"


"Play Majong! Let's play Majong, Sanzo, please!" The young boy said in a singsong voice, and Sanzo cracked open an eye, glaring at him. "Goku, go away. Why don't you try Roku? I'm sure he has time." I rolled my eyes, because I knew Sanzo was really saying "We're stuck here on Hakkai's orders because our stupid guide got hurt, so why don't you go annoy him before I shoot you?" Goku turned his golden eyes on me, and I held up my hands. "Hey, I love too, but I don't know how."


It was like I had said the four most magical words in the world. Gojyo sat up and looked at me, and Sanzo opened both eyes to bore into mine. Even Hakkai didn't turn his page, although his surprise was slightly more subtle. I looked around, feeling caution creeping into my gut. "What? What's wrong?"


"Nothing," said Sanzo, looking away. I swear I saw a grin, a microscopic one, but one nonetheless as he reached for his cigs.


"You can't play Majong?" Gojyo asked, staring at me.


"Finally, something the great Roku can't do," Gojyo grinned, cracking open an eye to look at me. I felt my face was turning slightly red, and I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, I can't play Majong, but could you guys stop looking at me like that? Its like I'm a juicy piece of steak and you guys are the starving lions."


"Excellant analogy, 'cause your about to be eaten alive," Sanzo said, and that microscopic smile grew about a size a minute. I'm surprised I didn't start sweating, the way the guys moved in closer to me, seriously invading my personal bubble. Hakkai grinned and pulled out a small wooden box (again, I don't think his pants have pockets, so he's gotta be pulling this stuff out of his hair), and I saw it was full of small white tiles with various little characters on them. I gulped, and realized Sanzo was right, I was about to get eaten alive.