Beaten

"Eraon, it is okay to ask questions." Came her voice. It was soft and gentle, but you were more thrilled at her calling you by name, you had an identity. You were Eraon Drottiningue, daughter of Arya Drottningue!
But as you thought about it, a sadness overwhelmed you, and you decided to ask a question that had been burning within you for your entire life.
"wh-what happened? W-w what’d I do wrong? I don ‘t know” You asked weakly. You were unsure of how to ask her, your voice stuttering with hesatation.
“I never know what I do wrong.” You said in a weak voice.
She closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath.
"For years, I have waited to give you an explanation. May it be with you in my arms once again, over a distance, or at a grave." She said. You both understood how difficult the entire situation was.
"You were nearly a year old. Your father was at the southern post for the month. It was during a holiday that he was gone, and I took you to see him. We were in the cover of the forest, but we were attacked…" she said. You could see the despare in her voice, the utter sadness radiating from it.
"We think it was a shade. No human would be able to overpower a group of elves. Whatever it was, it took you from my arms. The shade's name was Kurzan, but after you disappeared, he was found dead." She said.
You looked down at the white blankets wrapped around you.
"I now know what happened for sure, Eraon. It makes sense, now that I've seen your memories." You felt yourself grimace.
"He was too much of a coward to come face to face with us. Instead he cast his magic from a far, but in doing so, he ran out of strength. He was too weak to complete the task and died. But he lost you in doing so. That is how the family found you so far from anyplace." She said.
You felt your heart beat painfully in your chest. You remembered Durza, you remembered all of the pain, you couldn't imagine growing up your entire life a shade's prisoner.
"Why would he want me?" you asked in a whisper.
"To use you Eraon. Somehow the knowledge of your birth reached the varden, and through the varden, the king. The king could have used you Eraon, made you his servant, and used you to get to us. That's what was thought when you were found. As soon as I went to interrogate you, I knew. But even if you were a trator I couldn't hurt you, not again, that is why I stopped coming." She said.
“You knew?” you asked in a weak trembling voice fresh tears falling down your cheeks.
“eraon!” she said in a sad voice.
"You were different from everybody else. When you came in, I-I wasn't scared. I felt safe..." You whispered. You looked down, ashamed at the life that was yours. It was your fault, your fault that you had let those men rape you, that you let people beat you. You were weak, a coward.
"I'm so sorry Eraon, I'm so-so sorry." Arya said. You looked up and saw she was crying, holding her head in her hands. You cautiously went up to her. She looked up, and had a soft look in her eyes as she saw you.
She pulled you into her lap, and you settled down. You pulled the blanket around both of you, so she wouldn't be cold. You immiditaly felt safe in her arms. She was warm, and safe. She wrapped her arms around you, and rested her chin on your head. You could feel wet tears ever so often on your head, but you cried many of your own. Both of you were silent. You just wanted to be close, to be close and safe. Never had you had any physical contact like this. Everytime anyone had ever touched you, it had been to hurt you, to hit you, or scare you.
She cradeled you for a while, just holding you. You had never felt this good your entire life. You had food, you were warm, you found your mother, you had a name, and you were safe. It was all you ever wanted, it was all you ever needed.
"Thank you mommy, I’ve been so scared." You said in a small voice. You held to her tighter, and she did you as well. The afternoon sun came and went, and you just stayed in her arms, there was cloth pulled infront of the windows, still the carrage was very light. Twilight was near, and you had a lot of energy, unlike you ever remembered, the cold emptiness that came with being hungry wasn't there, you could feel you were hungry, but even still it was not a painful hunger.
"Lets get a change of cloths for you, and some dinner." Arya whispered in your ear. It had been hours since anyone had spoken. There was so much to be said, and so much more to think about.
You pulled away again, and sat. The scratchy tunic was irritating your skin. It was made out of an odd straw. It was already ripping at the seams. You knew what it was for. After they killed you, they would have burned your body, and this would have helped the flames. You started to shake at the thought. You had seen something similar. Tears spilled from your eyes, and you realized that you should have been dead at the very moment.
Arya turned to you, with a fresh stack of clothing, and saw your tears.
"What is wrong?" she asked, sitting next to you, she pulled you into a hug. You cried into her shoulder for a while unable to talk. You shook with terror, clutching to her. You had almost died on many occasions, but never had yiou actually been sentenced to death. Before it had been someone beating you, or starving you, but this was different, there was a set date and time you were supposed to die. A good twn minutes later you calmed enough to speak.
"Th-they, w-ere going too burn me-me, weren't t-they, af-af-tet they…" you couldn't finish as you looked down at your scratchy tunic. You pulled at a piece of unprocessed grass that was protruding from it. She hugged you tighter.
"w-what I-I-if you didn't come? I'd, I'd, I'd be d-dead" you sobbed You cried and shook at the very thought. She had seen your memories, and knew your life was filled with the constant threat of death, but it was the realization that you had finally found your mother, but were going to be killed, to be murderd for no reason at all.
“I-I-I just w-anted to find you!” you sobbed
You just couldn't shake the thought, you would be dead, you would have never known her.
"I-I c-couldn't talk, I-I don't know w-why, I just couldn't think." You whispered. You were just utterly terrified, You were shaking that you couldn't keep yourself steady, She held onto you tightly, not saying anything, just holding you. Your connection to this woman was soo deep, but your relationship was foreign, you had only known abuse, fear, starvation by the hands of humans and shades, where as this woman lived a life where food, and safety wasn't an issue, she was elvin, growing up in elvin society.
"why?" you sobbed. "Its not fair, I don't know what I did wrong!" you cried, your heart sent pains throughout your body. You cried yourself out, you had no idea how long it was. You just stared for a while, your body drained of energy.
"I'm sorry." You said, realizing what you were becoming.
"You have nothing to be sorry about Eraon." Arya said, looking inot your eyes.
You looked down, avoiding her gaze.
"I do. I'm a burden, I-I don't know how to do anything." You said, ashamed.
"Eraon…" she said, tilting your chin up. " You are not a burden to me, but the opposite. I love you, and your faults or mine can't change that." She said. Her voice was stern and serious, not faultering for a moment.
You hugged, and you squeezed tight, not daring to let go. After a while she let go. She set the change of clothing forward, and helped you slip off the tunic. You had on only underwear, and you folded your arms across your chest.
You were ashamed of your bony body, arya was muscular, tall, strong, and beautiful, you were bony, small, weak, and you had no idea what you looked like. You hadn't seen yourself in the mirror in years. You imagined you looked similar to arya, maybe, you knew you had green eyes, like her you realized, and your hair was black, but hers was smooth and silky, and yours was ratty, stringy and ugly.
She pulled your arms away, and you saw that there was a huge blotchy bruise. It was across your stomach.
"Eraon, where did this come from?" Arya asked, as she got on her knees, and examined the hideous mark.
"When the men took me away, they put me in the cell, and one of them kicked me." You said, ashamed.
"Eraon." She said breathlessly. She brushed some hair behind your ear, and saw the large bruise on your forehead.
“Oh Eraon!” she said
She placed her hand on your stomach, and you flinched. She took a deep breath and murmered some words in her language. You watched as her hand grew warm against your skin, and rays of green light came from between her fingers. When she took her hand away, you gasped, your stomach was completely healed. She did the same with your head.
"You use magic?" you gasped, your eyes wide.
"Yes, and so can you." She said, a warm smile in her eyes, you realized what she was talking about. You remembered the few times in your past, when you grew angry, or you were so scared that you lost control. There was a realse of energy so strong that if it wasn't let go you felt you would explode.
You nodded, shocked.
She helped you slip on a bra, but you didn’t really need it, there was also a long sleeve shirt that was a forest green. It was soft, like the touch of a flower petal. Then she helped you slip into a pair of grey leggings. Finally there was a short sleeve tunic that fell to your knees. The fabric was soft and warm against your skin, not scratchy, and harsh like the other tunic.