Adult-FanFiction.org : Anime

Flowers for a Weed	By : ArcadiaEclipse Category: +G to L > Hetalia: Axis Powers Views: 5296 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia. I make no money from my writing.

Chapter List
- 7
- 8
- 9
Warnings: Yaoi (RussiaxAmerica), extreme angst, language, drug use, violence, hurt/comfort and explicit sexual depictions ahead. This fanfic is intended for adult readers only.

~ * ~ Flowers for a Weed ~ * ~

Chapter Seven

By ArcadiaEclipse

It was six months later when Alfred began to show signs that not all was well with the young American. The other delegates still seemed mostly oblivious to my lover’s gradual decline in health, probably because the young blonde was still a loud, grinning mess of misplaced authority during our daily meetings. Lately, however, it was getting harder to drag Alfred out of bed come morning and though I bit my tongue and said nothing I couldn’t help but notice that my lover was losing a lot of weight. Stress must be eating him alive. I couldn’t remember the last time that I had seen him sleep more than four hours at a time but there was a fine line between diligence and obsession and lately I suspected Alfred was migrating towards the latter.

“You can’t take all of the worries of the world on your shoulders, Alfred. No man is strong enough to bear that burden himself.”

“No one else is leaping to volunteer.”

I didn’t respond but continued to smile for the weary American as I pressed a dampened cloth to his forehead still willing my lover’s fever to fade. Luckily I had woken this morning before the brash American and spotted his unconscious shivering and the sweat dampened blond bangs matted to his forehead. There would be no frivolous heroism today while he was under my care.

“We’re going to be late for today’s meeting, Ivan.”

“We’re not going.”

“We can’t just not show up. I have reports to present and there’s mediation today between North and South Koreaagain.”

“And if they are unable to restrain themselves for one single day whilst you rest then they are both fools that deserve to blow each other up.”

Alfred chuckled.

“Poetic, Ivan. Really.”

“Tell Toris that you like it. He said those same words to me twenty years ago referring to the both of us in our blind eagerness for nuclear war.”

“And what if the others approve some absolutely ridiculous shit today in our absence?”

“Then we will be forced to accept that we live in a world full of idiots and we might as well just ignore them and fuck from now until they destroy us all.”

He chuckled, ignoring the dampened cloth still resting on his forehead in favor of gripping my wrist to drag me onto the bed beside him. Had Alfred not been shivering I might have chided him for even suggesting sex when he was so blatantly ill but instead I relented and guided the American to lay on his side, spooning his smaller body and tenderly kissing the back of his shoulder. Without a word I bade his pain and fatigue to fade along with the chills still wracking his leaner frame as I embraced him from behind, hoping against hope that at least some of my considerable warmth would transfer from my body to his.

Although my intention was simply to keep Alfred warm my lover seemed fully determined to take our cuddling one step further and I watched with an amused expression as the American fumbled with his flannel pajamas tiredly trying to push them from his hips. My hand stilled his after a few seconds of getting nowhere with his attempts to undress and the younger blonde looked over his shoulder at me in silent question.

                “You are far too ill for that, American.”

                “Let me be the judge of that.”

                “You are sick and I am overruling your vote as far as sex is concerned.” I grinned and yet my fingers wandered to unbutton his fly and then slip past the soft flannel to coax him gently to arousal. “Besides, there is more to sex than penetration.”

                Softly he groaned into his pillow and although my lover seemed weary he was more than willing to thrust tiredly into my fist.

                “But..nn…what about you?”

                “For once, Alfred, do not concern yourself with anyone but you.”

                “You’re not getting anything out of this though. I hate one-sided sex, Ivan.”

                Sighing, I allowed my free hand to lower the waistband of my lover’s pants and expose his soft backside but not to invade him for once. Although confused at first, Alfred seemed willing to drop his opposition when he felt the head of my cock press between his cheeks though I never tried to breech his body and encase myself in the heavenly heat waiting just beyond his entrance.

                “Ivan, what’re you-“

                “-You ask too many questions.” Slowly I began stroking my own erection to mimic the up and down motions of my other hand working the American’s dick generously. “If you must know, I’m planning to cum against your sweet hole and then press my seed into you with my fingers, lover.”

                Alfred bit his lip and arched in response but there was no indication that my planned action was unwelcome and I never paused stroking us both in tandem to ask the American if he objected. My fingers were slow but firm, stroking, rubbing, fondling him in ways that I knew my own body reacted to positively and hoped that he would like as well. From the way that his body arched while his hips tipped forwards I had all of the reassurance that I needed and sped my hand upon both his cock and my own, fully intent on pushing us both over the edge together.

                His gasps were short and soft, my favorite sounds ever to have come from between his lips, and I savored his orgasm when firing my own fluids between the crack of his ass only to rub the head of my cock lazily through my mess afterwards in an effort to spread myself upon Alfred’s body all the more. True to my word, my fingers left his softening shaft to slip between his cheeks and coat them thoroughly in my cum before pressing two digits deeply into his body fully intent on wringing another round of those sexy, soft gasps from his lips. He was mine, both inside and out now and nothing could ever change that. I would keep him safe from everything else in this world. In my arms Alfred would grow well again, I would make sure of it.

                And yet three weeks later the American still had moments of extreme sickness and didn’t seem to want any medicine though I tried to convince him that at the very least he should visit a doctor. I didn’t like seeing him nauseous and with chills late at night as he tried to sleep in my arms. He was starting to keep me awake at night but my own lack of sleep was the least of my worries. If only the American wasn’t such a stubborn idiot that refused to listen to reason.

                “I’m fine!” he’d grin at me though his eyes looked dull and jaded. “Really Ivan, maybe you’re the one that needs help. You’re obsessing over this when I’m seriously just a little under the weather.”

                Still sighing, I hugged the younger man closer on his bed and tried not to let Alfred’s health invade my every thought. Maybe he was right. Maybe I was just overreacting and shouldn’t be dwelling on his frequent illness so much but truthfully I was beginning to wonder if his sudden health closely followed by extreme sickness might be more than just seasonal illness or stress. I had my doubts about him and that was what hurt me most of all.

                “Ivan…” My name sounded so faint on the younger blonde’s lips that at first I wasn’t even certain that he had spoken at all until Alfred continued softly. “How long have you been addicted to alcohol?”

                The question rather caught me off guard to say the least. It was well known among my fellow nations that I consumed vodka on an almost daily basis, more often than not in excess, and yet Alfred had never felt the need to discuss my drinking before. He didn’t appear to be looking for a reason to chide me however and I hugged him closer while resting my chin on the top of his head.

                “For as long as I can remember. More years than I haven’t been.” He didn’t respond and though I hesitated for a moment, I forced the customary smile onto my lips before speaking softly into his hair. “How long have you been addicted to cocaine, Alfred?”

                It didn’t surprise me that the American tensed in my arms but I held him closer kissing the top of his head and even rubbing my lover’s back to reassure the younger man that my love for him remained unconditional. I hated myself for not noticing it sooner but until Christmas Eve when we rekindled our relationship my time spent with Alfred was limited to public meetings and the occasional brief encounter in the hallways on our way to lunch. Matthew should have known and I hated the Canadian for remaining oblivious while they were together.

                For a moment I thought the younger man was going to laugh and try to convince me that I was mistaken but Alfred seemed too ashamed to look at me. Thankfully he never tried to escape my arms and flee.

                “…On and off for about five years I guess.”

                I nodded and refrained from reprimanding him in the slightest. Something told me that my lover must likely know of all the risks already and the reasons that he should quit. Harassing him about it wasn’t likely to produce any positive results. I knew him far too well to even try yelling at him or calling him a complete idiot as a means of intervention.

                “I’m sorry. I should have noticed sooner but when I first started to suspect something I checked your arms and never saw any track marks…”

                I trailed off and he didn’t disappoint, shifting to tangle his legs into mine beneath the sheets.

                “…My ankle.”

                “Any particular reason?”

                “I didn’t want people to see.”

                He tipped his head upwards and though he smiled for me the light in his eyes was dulled and I could tell it was just an empty gesture.   I had witnessed my fair share of death and destruction over the years but even looking back on the tragedy of my life not many things seemed quite as sorrowful to me as Alfred’s expression at that moment did. It had been two decades since gazing upon him made my chest clench in pain like this, but the familiar feeling gripped me now as if the pain had never lain dormant all of these years.

                I could only watch as the man I loved, the one I knew I couldn’t live without, reached into his bedside table to withdraw a bottle of water and a wooden box that I had mistaken for just a pistol case but a secret panel in the box beneath his weapon pulled out to reveal that which I had all but torn the room apart looking for on more than one occasion.   Wordlessly Alfred withdrew a spoon, a cotton ball and his drug of choice, setting a syringe beside his knee on the bed as my lover set to work preparing his morning high. I watched him but did not speak even as Alfred soaked the cotton ball in his cocaine and water mixture then filled the needle directly from it, flicking the syringe to ensure that there were no air bubbles in the potent mixture. Funny. He seemed concerned not to allow anything but the drug into his veins and yet I knew that the cocaine was most likely going to kill him before anything else toppled my powerful lover.

                Alfred looked at me for a moment as if trying to gauge my reaction to his drug use but I remained silent while watching his every move.

                “Were you going to yell at me? Call me an idiot? Tell me I should quit?”

                “No.”

                “Why not?”

                “I don’t think it would make a difference.” Slowly I grinned at him, ultimately confusing the American even more. “I’m an addict too, remember? I don’t want you to use that stuff, Alfred, but I know that just yelling at you won’t make you stop. Not after five years of use.”

                “So what then?”

                Silently at first, I reached into the box by Alfred’s knee to withdraw a rubber band then tying off my own arm and offering it to my protesting lover. The American just shook his head vehemently, muttering “no, Ivan…” over and over but I wouldn’t be budged and I even smiled for him when tipping his head up to regard me.

                “If you’ve chosen Hell then I’m going with you. I’m not afraid of the dark.”

                “No!” Tears began trickling down his face and though my method was unconventional I could see it had the desired effect on him. Guilt was a powerful weapon even to a drug addict. “I won’t drag you down with me, Ivan! I…I hate being this way…”

                “If you’re going to shoot up then I am too, Alfred. You decide for us both.”

                It was a big decision to leave in a cocaine addict’s hands but though I could see the younger man bite back another sob I watched motionless as his shaky hands finally gripped my forearm and inserted the tip of the needle into a prominent vein just below my elbow. I hated this. I hated making him miserable enough to cry but Alfred had to work this out somehow and guilt was my greatest ally when playing such a dangerous game with him.

                “I’m so sorry…”

                “We’re not flowers, Alfred.” I leaned forward and stroked his hair gently with my free hand. “We don’t need to live in the light anymore.”

                Sniffling, my lover’s thumb moved slowly forward, millimeter by precious millimeter pressing the plunger on the end of the syringe inwards and driving the potent drug into my veins with another whispered apology. Part of me had hoped that Alfred was indeed strong enough to fight his own need to get high at least out of shame for inflicting his need upon me as well, but I knew that addiction was a powerful enemy and my heart began thumping faster in my chest as if trying to escape from my body entirely. I could feel my whole body begin to shake slightly but I could only watch powerless as Alfred loaded the syringe again and shot the drug into his ankle with a small grimace.

                His transformation from a pale, sickly young man into his normal grinning self was almost instantaneous but I could still see a telltale wetness marking his cheeks and betraying the tears that had spilled over them moments before. I could only stare at Alfred as the smaller man curled up in my arms, pressing his face to my chest and kissing the now over-heated flesh gently.

                “Your heart’s beating really fast. I think I gave you too much for your first time.”

                “It’s not my first time.” But it had been decades since I gave up stimulants and now my body throbbed and soared in a drug-induced euphoria. I wanted to run, to get into a fight just to punch someone, I wanted to fuck like the world was ending tomorrow and even if it did I couldn’t care less. It felt like my blood was on fire and itching, burning in my veins…

                “Ivan! Shit Ivan, stop it!”

                Alfred grabbed my wrist suddenly and in regarding him I could see blood, vivid and red on my fingertips. Oh god, did I hurt him? I never should have tried to call his bluff this way knowing from previous experiences that I couldn’t think or act clearly under the influence of drugs. Instantly, the memories came flooding back in a violent rush: Forcing Toris to give me fellatio under the threat of dismemberment, throwing Eduard down a flight of stairs for questioning the soundness of my Five Year Plan, beating Raivis within an inch of his life as I raped him brutally without reason or care. He was only fourteen years old at the time…

                Alfred pushed be back onto the bed with a low growl then bent to grab his discarded shirt from the floor and wrap around my bleeding forearm. Although I was relieved that I had not harmed my lover, only myself, I was no longer in control of my thoughts or emotions and the sudden flood of tears now rolling over my cheeks to spill on the pillow beneath my head seemed to affect the American considerably. I could not recall a time that he had ever witnessed me cry but the emotion and guilt welling up in my chest crowding my rapidly beating heart made the drug in my veins all the more miserable to endure.

                “Ivan, I… I shouldn’t have brought you into this.” Alfred seemed to be fighting off his own tears as he grit his teeth and dabbed at the deep scratches on my arm. I’m so sorry, I-“

                “-I have to go. I have to tell them I’m sorry…”

                “Huh? Who do you… Ivan?”

                My lover seemed startled when I suddenly pushed myself up from the bed and grabbed my boots mid-stride in the rush to leave his hotel room. I couldn’t really explain the sudden pressing need to see my former friends but my heart was pounding at the exciting prospect of telling Toris, Eduard and Raivis that I was truly sorry for everything that I had inflicted upon them. They were really going to be surprised. I was still barefoot and unable to control the grin on my face but the tears streaming down my cheeks probably seemed extremely out of place to the hotel staff watching me hurry past them on a mission of extreme importance.

                My only detour was a quick trip to my own room but not to clean my arm or try to bandage the wound that my nails had driven into the pale flesh. I paused only long enough to grab a bottle of vodka so that we could all drink to our friendship again but it was likely the most ill advised thing that I could have done while the cocaine made me jittery and unable to stop grinning between deep sips of the strong liquor all the way to their rooms in the hotel. Eduard didn’t answer when I knocked and though I stumbled another ten feet and leaned back against Raivis’s door, knocking incessantly as I downed half the bottle of booze the small Latvian never opened his either. It was the door across the hall that finally swung open and Toris met me with an obviously shocked expression.

                “I..Ivan. What happened to your arm?”

                I could see that Raivis and Eduard were in his room as well though both were watching me curiously now to see their former master in a state of obvious disarray. Quickly I stepped forward and cupped Toris’s cheek, kissing him soundly before the Lithuanian could protest my advances but this time although I was insistent I wasn’t rough or trying to control him. My kiss was gentle and sweet pressed to his lips before I whispered into his mouth softly.

                “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for everything I ever did to hurt you, Toris. You were only ever my friend and…and I hurt you a lot. I know.” Something about the mix of cocaine and alcohol must have made me delirious since I could feel myself crying again but I couldn’t stop grinning when looking at the blushing young man before me.

                “I..Ivan..are you…high?”

                “And a little drunk,” I admitted with a soft laugh.

                Toris bit his lip but the door suddenly opened wide and Eduard was standing there frowning while he regarded me completely unamused.

                “I thought you stopped using drugs, Ivan.”

                “I..I did, but…but I had to, see.. Alfred he was going to use and… and I-I had to.” I suddenly started laughing for no reason in particular but the tears began flowing more quickly down my cheeks and Eduard bit his lip before grabbing my sleeve, taking the vodka from my hand then tugging me into the hotel room with them. Annoyed and growling he pushed me to sit on the edge of Toris’s bed and shoved the half-empty bottle of liquor into Raivis’s hands making the youngest flush.

                “Ivan, you’re a permanent member of the Security Council! What if another delegate saw you strung out and acting crazy like this? We need to bandage your arm and then I’m going straight to Alfred to-“

                “-No.” I cut him off wrapping my arms around his waist and pressing my cheek to the Estonian’s stomach trying to ground myself with a hug while I spoke into his warmth. “No, it’s not his fault. It’s my fault. All mine, I made him do me too hoping he wouldn’t but he did and…and..”

                I became very aware of Eduard’s warm flesh shifting beneath my cheek as well as Raivis’s soft hand brushing gently through my hair while I voiced my woes in a flood of pain and self hate. From this position I could only press soft kisses to the Estonian’s abdomen in apology for all the anguish that I had inflicted upon him over the years but Eduard’s cheeks were growing red even as he tried to remove my arms from his waist.

                “Ivan, it’s in the past now.”

                “But I’m sorry. I did so many horrible things to the three of you and..I’m sorry.”

                “It’s okay, Ivan.” I turned my head to see Raivis sit on the bed beside me with a little smile then lean in to kiss my cheek gently. “We forgave you a long time ago.”

                Eduard coughed again drawing our attention back to the tall blonde still standing before the bed trying to make some sense of this ridiculous situation.

                “You need to sleep this off, Ivan.”

                “I’m not tired.”

                “Well..get in bed and maybe you’ll get tired. You can stay here tonight, lest someone else see you strung out wandering the hallways. How long ago did you take that stuff anyway?”

                “Will you sleep with me tonight? All of you?”

                The room fell silent but for a soft squeak from Raivis beside me and upon looking at the youngest I could see the small Latvian’s face was turning almost as red as his uniform. I hadn’t exactly intended for my words to sound sexual but the teenager wasn’t running away from me thankfully and I couldn’t help the sudden drug-induced chuckle when reaching up to ruffle his hair grinning.

                “We can do that too if you’d like.”

                “I didn’t say anything!”

                “You were thinking naughty thoughts, Raivis. You always turn into a tomato when you let this,” gently I pet his crotch, “speak for you.”

                “I-I do not!”

                “Ivan,” Eduard sighed but moved to sit on my other side pushing his glasses upwards and pinching the bridge of his nose as if explaining the obviousness of this to me wasn’t easy for him. “I doubt that you could even manage an erection with all the drugs and alcohol in your body right now.”

                “I don’t know. I can still be the bottom though, right?”

                Silence. Dead silence.

                Not one of them had ever taken me though I couldn’t even count the number of times that I had invaded each of them, usually by force. Raivis was still bright red but seemed eager and even Toris was a little flushed at the prospect of my submission as he moved to sit beside Eduard on the bed.

                “Uh.. A.All of us?”

                “If you’d like, yes.”

                Slowly Eduard rose from the bed, his expression unreadable though I could feel a tension in the room as he moved to the door. Maybe I shouldn’t have come. It hurt being thrown out of their company after all of the time that we had spent together over the years, but before I could rise to show myself out Eduard clicked the lock into place and removed his glasses slowly before his lips quirked into a hint of a smile.

                “Take off your clothes, Ivan.”

~ * ~ To Be Continued ~ * ~
- 7
- 8
- 9
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Flowers for a Weed