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Gone Forever	By : Nayru774 Category: +. to F > D. Gray Man Views: 3479 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own D.Gray-man, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 7
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Warnings: Angst and blood.

~Gone Forever~

Chapter 08: Unexpected encounter times two

With Komui's discrete help, getting out of the Headquarters unnoticed was even less than a piece of cake. And doing it through the Ark was obviously leaving Allen in a bigger advantage than it would leave anyone else but him. Even though he felt bad about not saying goodbye to his friends properly − or saying goodbye at all, for that matter − he knew he couldn't really afford himself the luxury at the time. Well, it wasn't like he'd never see them ever again... right?

The actual problem arose after he was out: what next? Allen was completely alone and by himself again. He wouldn't get any official support from the Order as things stood, and getting in contact with Komui would probably be a task to behold after what happened. Not to mention it would take time − and most likely lots of it.

So where could he go now?

It wasn't long before a particular place flashed through his mind.

Britain. London. That was the place where he took off to right after his Master knocked him out with a hammer and disappeared, leaving him with nothing more than a painful bump on his head and a small golden golem by his side. He was in India at the time, and it took him over two months to travel from there to Britain back then.

Right now, however, he could get there in maybe a little more than a blink of an eye, with the help of the Ark. And for free at that, which was reassuring, to say the least.

He wished Timcanpy was with him, like he was back then, too, though.

Taking his sense of direction into consideration, it took Allen a while to figure out which doors of the Ark led where to exactly, but somehow he managed to find the path he was looking for in the end.

He wasn't sure how the Ark worked completely yet, leaving him uncertain if he would even be able to come back once he left it. Then again there was only one way to find out what limits his abilities had. Even if the gates closed behind him, giving him a free ride to London was more than enough for a start. He'd worry about what to do next once he was there.

The day was lazily coming to an end when he appeared at his destination. The sky was red from the setting Sun, leaving the buildings of the city glimmer in a gold and scarlet shade. The whole place was quiet, with just a handful of people on the streets, making the boy feel surprisingly relaxed and calm.

The place was almost the same as he remembered it. Well, it wasn't like it's been ages since the last time he's been here. It's been even less than a year, actually.

A sad smile appeared on Allen's lips. Yes, this was where he learned of the Black Order's location, while he was still looking for it. Wasn't it ironic?

Pushing the melancholic thoughts away, the boy took off for the place he wanted to go to. Night would fall soon, leaving the air even colder than it already was, and he still had a way to go.

By the time he reached the church, it was nighttime. Allen glanced over the nearby cemetery, remembering some past events that took place here some time ago. It was a little disappointing that Barba was nowhere to be seen this time. Encountering the big man always left the boy with a smile on his face, even if the whole outcome was... painful sometimes.

He wondered how Mother was doing. He hoped his late visit wouldn't be of too much trouble for her. Well, it wasn't all that late anyway, surely she wouldn't be asleep yet?

Vaguely, he remembered her rough attitude, and how he, Mother, Barba and his Master used to play poker all the time − all four of them. It was mainly for the rehabilitation of his left hand, as they said, but obviously that wasn't the only thing Allen was left with in the end. This was where he gained most of his experience when it came to gambling and cheating, and even though it was far from an easy and pleasurable task, he was thankful he went through all of it at the time.

Even though he mastered his skills greatly, somehow he never managed to fool Mother's sharp eyes whenever they played.

Lifting his hand, Allen inhaled deeply before he knocked on the big wooden doors that were at the further side of the church. He hoped Mother was really inside, otherwise he had no idea where else he would go.

"It's open." He heard an immediate response from the other side, though he could tell that the voice didn't belong to a woman, and surely not to Mother.

That was...

Allen's eyes widened as he realized to whom the voice belonged to. He reached for the handle and opened the door without hesitation.

Soon, his suspicions were confirmed.

"Took you long enough." The figure didn't even turn to look at the boy as it spoke.

The person was sitting on a chair near a small table inside of the room. The place was very dim, with only a few lit candles as its source of light, but it was more than enough for Allen to recognize the one who was inside. There was an ash-tray full of spent cigarettes and a glass and a bottle of whine that accompanied him.

"...Master." Allen muttered out, not moving from the doorframe. Saying that he was bewildered would be a misunderstanding. He's been so pissed at Cross when he ran away from the Order without telling him a word like that... He was so angry with him for making things all the more worse when they've looked bad enough already. And now...

He'd never think he'd ever feel this happy to see the read-headed general again.

"How did you know I would come here?" The white-haired boy asked, as he silently closed the door behind him, finally advancing closer to the other man.

"Where else would you go, idiot apprentice?" The general responded with a bit of sarcasm.

"Well... I don't know." Allen stopped to think for a moment. "Alright, maybe you do have a point." He sighed. "...Is Mother here?"

"She passed away." Cross answered without hesitation, though his voice had a more quiet ring to it. He still didn't budge.

"...Oh." The white-haired boy's faint smile disappeared immediately. Then sadness overwhelmed him, as his gaze traveled to the floor. "...I see."

After a moment of silence, the general finally shifted in his position, turning to look at Allen properly. "Well, it's not like she was the youngest human being on Earth, you know. There's a time for everyone, and I'm sure she lived her life to the fullest." Marian started in a surprisingly reassuring tone, as he reached with his hand to the boy, placing it on top of his head gently. "So don't worry about it. I'm sure she wouldn't want you to mourn over her death."

Allen stared at his master in silence, as the other patted his head reassuringly. It didn't take long before a faint smile appeared on the boy's lips again.

"Er... What the hell happened to your hair?" Cross lifted an eyebrow, tugging on Allen's ponytail the moment he noticed it under his fingers.

"Ah, don't ask..." The boy rolled his eyes. "Komui had too much free time on his hands, apparently."

The red-head only smirked, as if getting the idea.

"Well, kid. Sit down, why don't you." Cross pulled his hand away. Then he reached for a cigarette, igniting it with ease. „You want some answers from me, am I right?"

Allen let out a deep sigh as he curled up under the sheets.

"Hmm? Oh, you little devil..." General Cross spoke in a voice that suddenly sent a cold shiver down Allen's spine.

"Huh?" The boy looked at his master questioningly, uncertain what the sudden remark was supposed to be about. And the read-head's cocky face expression didn't seem to reassure him at all.

"Did you finally get laid?" Marian smirked darkly, rising one of his eyebrows. "My, my, Allen's grown up so much. He's become a real man now."

"W-What?" The boy shrieked in confusion. Did he just hear right? Was his Master insane? Wait... how could he even tell such a thing in the first place? Was he just playing dumb? Even so, Allen couldn't stop himself from blushing as the topic arose.

"Aww, there's nothing to be embarrassed about." The General laughed out loud at his apprentice's reaction. "So who was it? Did you finally make your move with Lenalee? Komui's going to kill you, you know..."

"M-Master..." Allen stammered awkwardly.

"But I understand you. Such a woman's well worth the risk, isn't she? I'd go for her myself if it weren't−"

"Master!" The boy was yelling by now.

"Hmm? What?" Cross calmed down, looking at his apprentice with half lidded eyes and a pout on his face. "So it wasn't her?"

"No, it wasn't Lenalee, and − for God's sake − would you stop with it already!" The white-haired Exorcist remarked angrily. Then he tensed, as realization hit him. "Ah..."

"Alright, that answered half of my question." Marian took a long drag from his cigarette. "You should really work on your lying capabilities, Allen. You've gotten rusty."

The boy started to throw daggers at his Master. "You didn't come here to talk about my virginity with me, did you?" His voice was anything but amused. Then he sighed and looked away, supporting his head with his hand on the table.

A moment of silence passed.

"It was that Kanda Yuu fellow, wasn't it?" Cross spoke all of a sudden, making Allen turn his gaze back to him once again.

The boy seemed angry. "Did Komui tell you?"

"No, I didn't get a chance to talk to him after our small meeting back at the Order." The red-head replied calmly. "I just noticed that you stayed behind after the conference was over, which already gave me a slight idea... And now," The general pointed his finger in Allen's direction. "Those marks on your neck speak for themselves, really."

Walker slammed one of his hands into his neck immediately, as if wanting to hide whatever his Master was pointing to. Shit, he'd forgotten about those completely... Well, it wasn't like hiding them now would do much of a difference, anyway...

"Honestly, Allen, think about yourself more, or you'll really get killed in place of your comrades someday."

"Can we change the topic?"

"Master." The young Exorcist's gaze fell to the floor, as he caught the general by one of his long sleeves. The man stopped in his tracks, turning his attention back to the boy. "...Could I stay with you?" The words were silent, as if almost a shy whisper.

There was silence for a moment, and Allen could only feel how disappointment invaded him. Right, he should have known from the beginning.

"...I'm sorry." Cross spoke with apparent regret in his voice. "There's still something that I need to do."

Suddenly everything went black.

When Allen came to, he was lying in a big warm bed in a room he didn't recognize. There was a small table beside him, and a bigger one in the opposite corner, with two armchairs next to it. And a wardrobe. Was he in some kind of hotel room?

As the boy shifted lazily and sat up, he noticed two things.

For a first, his head hurt immensely. And second... There was something moving inside of his shirt?

"Wah!" He shrieked in surprise, but soon found himself laughing from the movement, as it started to tickle. A moment more, and the infiltrator finally managed to find its way out of the white fabric and raised right in front of Allen's face, flapping its golden wings clumsily.

"Timcanpy!" The white-haired called the small golem's name happily. He was really glad and relieved to see it. "It's been a while, hasn't it? ...Did you get bigger again?" The boy raised his hand to touch the golden creature, but surprisingly the movement also brought a ruffled sound. Was there still something else inside of his shirt beside Timcanpy?

Allen took the messy piece of paper out and unfolded it.

It was a letter from Cross.

"Mana... had some connection with the 'Fourteenth,' didn't he?"

"Yes. The Fourteenth had an older brother. There was only one person who was with the Fourteenth up until the moment he betrayed the Millenium Earl and was killed. And that was Mana Walker."

"Brothers... Mana and the Fourteenth. You... knew about this all along...?"

"I did. When the Fourteenth died, I promised him I'd watch over Mana. If I did, he'd come back to Mana someday. You promised me that, Allen. Or should I say... The Fourteenth?"

"Dear Allen," The boy read the first two words lazily. Yeah, Dear Allen my ass... "I've booked you in this hotel for three days. Get a decent rest." He continued reading the contents of the letter out loud. "Also, don't stay in one place for too long. We'll meet again when the time comes." Right. I really should have known. Allen sighed. Did his Master always have to be this way? Honestly... "PS. Tim has a parting gift from Mother for you. It's not much, but I'm sure it'll be of some help."

The Exorcist turned his gaze to the golem that still flapped its wings in front of him. Then it opened its mouth, spitting out the mentioned item.

It was a pouch. Filled with what Allen guessed was money.

True. He wasn't at the Order anymore. He was back to the streets, where both shelter and food weren't for free, so naturally, he needed something he could pay with.

Three weeks... or a month, maybe. That's how long he would probably go on with this.

"He probably hasn't fully awakened, but you've started feeling the Fourteenth within you, haven't you, Allen?"

"Huh? What are you talking−"

"Don't play dumb. You knew the player's song. That's his memories. You had the Fourteenth's 'memories' implanted in you. You're necessary for his revival."

When all came down to all, Allen ended up traveling from one place to another, staying in different hotels for no longer than a few days, just like his Master advised him to.

He had an idea what the whole picture was about. The Order was probably looking for him by now, he was aware of it. And even if not the Order, there was also the possibility that the Noah did.

Though getting paranoid wouldn't get him anywhere now, would it?

Allen was a tad clueless what to actually do at first; what his actual objective should be. He thought that now, when he understood things more, his life would change.

In the end, he realized that nothing has really changed.

He was still himself. He was still an Exorcist. Even if it meant that something − or someone − else lurked somewhere inside of him, Allen was still Allen. Despite that he had doubts about Mana because of what he supposedly did, he still loved him and he did promise him to keep on walking no matter what. He intended to keep that promise.

"What would you do... If I told you you'll have to kill someone... you love... when you become the Fourteenth...?"

So Allen kept on doing what he thought was right. If he was lost of what to do next and where to go next, answers would come on their own eventually. It was all a matter of time. He needed to wait for either Komui or Cross to get in touch with him, he figured.

And since Allen hated sitting down and doing nothing while waiting, he decided to do the obvious thing while at it. He started to look for and hunt down Akuma.

It was his duty as an Exorcist, after all. So much hasn't and would never change.

"W-What..." The white-haired stammered in disbelief, as Cross pressed the boy's head to his chest even harder. He couldn't believe what he had just heard, all of what he heard. He didn't want this, any of this. Mana couldn't have done this to him...

It's already been more than two weeks since he left the Order on his own. Besides meeting with his Master right after the event, nothing of much importance has happened since then.

"Waaa, I'm beat..." The white haired boy fell limp on top of the considerably big bed as soon as he entered the room.

Another unfamiliar four-wall place in another city he's never been to before. He wondered for how long this would keep up.

He came across a few Akuma while traveling, but that was just about it. No Komui, no Cross... None of his friends, no nothing. Allen was really thankful that at least Tim was by his side. It would be really lonely without him.

Then again, it was still kind of lonely, nevertheless...

"Ne, Tim. You think everyone's doing fine?" Allen asked the small golem lazily, rolling over on his back. "Yeah, sorry I'm asking you weird stuff again." He gave a slight smile.

The golden orb flew and settled right next to its Master and just stayed quiet, as it couldn't speak, unfortunately.

"It's just that I'm worried about them... I guess." The boy continued as if nothing. "...Or maybe I just miss them so much."

Allen opened his eyes and started staring at the ceiling. Then he stretched his right hand upwards in front of him, as if wanting to reach for something that wasn't there.

And... Dammit... Why do I have to miss that jerk of all people the most? It doesn't make sense... He thought to himself angrily, as he looked at the dark piece of cloth that was still wrapped around his hand.

He did consider changing it for some decent bandages, but somehow, in the end, he stayed with the not too familiar material. He just washed it once in a while, so it would stay clean.

The young Exorcist brought his hand to his face and inhaled on the cloth slightly.

Kanda's scent was still all over it. And – God damn it all - it was something that Allen found himself never getting enough of. Somehow he never paid any actual attention to the dark-haired's scent before. Not until now.

Allen was aware that it was wrong of him to do this, to think like this. Didn't Kanda make it all too clear that he shouldn't get any weird ideas? That he shouldn't let any of what they did get to his head? That he had no intention of getting involved with him in any kind of way?

I'm such an idiot... Honestly... The boy smiled to himself bitterly. I'm such an idiot...

"Ne, Tim... Would−ack!"

Allen's eyes shot open wide, and it was a matter of seconds before he got to a sitting position, head bent down, left hand pressed to the right limb tightly.

Timcanpy flew into the air instantly, worried what was suddenly going on.

"Ghh... Shit." The boy hissed through clenched teeth. Not this again... He hoped it would finally leave him alone, but...

Another yelp left Allen's lips when the pain ripped through his palm yet again. All of a sudden there was blood. Lots of it. The small golem started to flatter its wings in panic as it noticed the red liquid. It was flowing right out of the spot where the boy had the black cloth wrapped around.

It's been the third time this was happening since that incident. But the only one who knew about that fact was Allen.

"Damn it..." The boy cursed again, getting up on his feet as the pain managed to subside a little. "Sorry, Tim." The golem didn't understand up until the bed sheet cut its vision off. "Just... stay under there for a while, okay...?"

The white-haired hissed as another wave of pain followed, reaching for his bag hastily. Soon he got a few bandages out and managed to wrap them around his hand, trying to stop the bleeding − or rather, lessen it a little.

When he was done, he sat on the floor, pressing his back to the bed side.

A shaky sigh left his lips.

And then the fortitude test was on.

"Ghh... Ah…" Happy thoughts... Think happy thoughts... Fuck... Why the hell does this have to hurt this much... "Ngh..."

It took about an hour until the sharp pain finally disappeared, leaving Allen totally wasted on the spot. The boy was breathing shakily, tears that uncontrollably left his eyes were long dried, just a few hardly visible streaks left on his cheeks.

Blinking, the young Exorcist turned his head to the side slowly. It took a while to notice that Timcanpy was right there beside his face, motionless and calm.

The golem touched its Master's cheek with one of its tiny limbs.

Allen smiled weakly.

"Hello..."

The white-haired blinked. He could swear he heard someone just now... Was he even starting to hear things?

"Allen Walker... Hello..."

"Um..." The boy got his head up, looking around the room in confusion. "Tim, did you... hear anything just now...?"

A moment passed in silence.

"Wait... That's−" Opening his eyes wide, Allen got up to his feet abruptly. Then fell back down to his knees in an instant. "Ack−" The pain flashed through his right hand again, though it wasn't as intense anymore.

After a second, the white-haired Exorcist finally moved, advancing towards the small elliptic mirror that was hanging right above the short cupboard in the room.

What he saw in the reflection wasn't anything that he should have been surprised about, really. The Fourteenth's shadow was still looming behind him, though... It did look slightly different than before. More visible to be precise, and the outlines of his figure reassembled pretty much that of Allen's.

"We've met... once before..."

No, it wasn't the boy's imagination, after all. The figure from the other side of the mirror was really talking to him. The same voice that talked to him inside of the white room in the old Ark.

"You remember... don't you...?"

"Y-You're... The Fourteenth, right?" Allen stammered, a little nervous. It felt kind awkward talking to a mirror, especially when the words were directed towards something that wasn't there − or shouldn't be there in the eyes of anyone else but him.

"Don't be afraid... I'm... on your side... Allen..."

The white-haired boy narrowed his eyebrows. Even though the shadow said that, Allen couldn't help the awkward feeling that he didn't really mean it. Somewhere in there, the boy could sense a note of amusement behind those words.

"Listen to the Fourteenth. There's another side to this war. Don't die before it's over this time."

Allen didn't like this. He didn't like this one bit.

Nayru's Note: First and foremost, if you got confused with this chapter − have you ever heard of the DGM novels? They include official written stories that concentrate around the characters practically right before the actual start of the manga series (or at least they do in Allen's, Kanda's and Lavi's case – I've read only those three so far).

This chapter had references to the novel, so if you found yourself thinking "where the hell did you get that from?", feel free to take a peek at the novel first. Google it if you're interested – it's been translated to English, and I think it's something a DGM fan would enjoy. I enjoyed reading Allen's and Kanda's part of the story a whole lot myself. (And Kanda's adventure in the novel was even presented in the anime fillers, though it's been altered a little.)
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Gone Forever