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Butterfly Caught	By : bacative Category: Death Note > Yaoi-Male/Male Views: 4344 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I am retroelectric and I do not own Death Note and its characters and I make no money off this.

Chapter List
- 7
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- 9
Butterfly Caught

Hi, I am retroelectric, I can drink a litre of milk at one go and I don't own Death Note.

Beta read by Nilahxapiel.

Warning: AU, smut, violence.

In the ensuing chaos which followed, Beyond grabbed Light's wrist with his bloodied palm and quickly made their way from the murder scene. He forced Light to move with him, tugging him along until they were safely back inside the car.

Light felt numb.

He was scared of Beyond. He could smell the blood on him. There was blood on the man's face, as well as his shirt and his hands, some of which had transferred onto Light's hands as well when the man had grabbed onto him.

He stared at his stained hands, and wiped his damp eyes with his knuckles so the blood didn't smear onto his face. Beyond was still panting somewhat, his eyes watching Light intently, wondering if the younger man was going to do something stupid—when he saw him buckling his seat belt. He turned on the engine and drove them back home.

Once they had reached home, Light had ran to the bathroom first, not even bothering to turn on the lights as he washed his hands free of the blood, over and over again.

He felt sick to his stomach.

That had gone horribly wrong. He didn't even know if B had meant for it to not.

This was Beyond's fucking fault. He fucking hated him. How dare he do something like this? If Light hadn't had the foresight to come back inside the nightclub to see what was happening because Beyond was taking so long-

What would have happened if he hadn't gone back inside based on his gut feeling?

Beyond had funny ways of showing he cared. Or maybe he never had cared.

He didn't know what to think.

Beyond came in after a moment, removing his clothes and starting to shower, removing all the evidence on him. When he was done, Light just stood there numbly leaned against the bathroom counter, not even knowing what to say. He watched the murderer put on a clean set of clothes and approach him.

Light flinched.

"I'm sorry, Light."

It took him a moment to recollect himself and answer, biting back, "If you're sorry, why did you do that in the first place?"

"Because I -I don''t know what got into me. Please, I'm sorry-"

"Why?"

"Come on, now, I'll make it up to you. No one knew who I was, you know that. I had my disguise on, I can change it easily, and we can be normal again-"

"We were never normal, B-san! How do you expect me to live knowing you've done such a thing? And... and I'm a fucking detective, I could arrest you right now for cold-blooded murder!"

Light seemed shaken of that fact, not even knowing if he could do that—arresting someone like Beyond.

He couldn't stop his words.. It was like a flood. "-I fucking loved you, and you're tearing me apart, tearing me between these choices, B-san! What sort of human are you? Are you even human at all?"

Beyond was silent for a moment. "Come on, you know me, don't you? If you love me, you'd want the best for me, isn't that so, Light?"

It was the first time Light had ever said something like that, that he loved him, and Beyond hadn't thought he was capable of it. He thought he would have to wait longer to hear such a thing coming from his mouth—and he didn't even know if Light even truly meant it.

It was like a pang to his cold heart.

"I don't know! I—I should have had you arrested a long time ago!"

He seemed broken. Light wanted to scream.

How had he even trusted him?

Had he been naïve? Where had he gone wrong?

Beyond pulled him into his arms in a tight embrace as though to anchor him, and Light seemed to fight back, his fists balling up and hitting his chest.

"Get away from me, you fucking murderer-"

"Shh... I'm sorry." He was still holding him tightly.

"Fucking murderer!"Light screamed, still hitting Beyond furiously.

Tears formed in his eyes again until he gave up after a while, panting slightly. He clutched onto B's shoulders, then he was pulling him close and buried his face in his neck for comfort, and the older man embraced him tighter, trying to get him to calm down properly.

"Just keep our secret for a while longer, please?" Beyond asked, speaking into his ear, "You do want to remain happy, don't you? Don't I make you happy? There's only one person who can truly understand you, and that's me, and even if you hated me because of what I did, I can't help it... It's on my conscience, isn't it? You can't think you're to blame, it's my own fault for not being able to recover. You can't beat yourself up over what I did, I'm the one who is going to Hell—and you, you're the one who's going to Heaven for being the good person you are."

He didn't comprehend at first, but in that split second, Light realised something.

He remembered what B had said more than a month ago, how he wanted to live for just a week after he had broken out of the hospital, and in the end, blow his brains out. But then he'd met Light. The way he said it made Light feel so unsure.

"Don't speak as though you're going to die!"

He pulled away from his embrace fiercely, grabbing B's face.

"...What the fuck are you going to do, B-san? Don't you dare fucking leave me alone-"

"I won't leave you, I promise."

"Then don't fucking talk like that! I hate it!"

This, Light thought, was so fucking messed up. He had to let it be known.

"I know you hate it...shh-" He kissed Light's forehead, "You need to sleep, don't you? I'll watch over you, like always-"

"Don't you dare patronise me! I don't know what to think anymore because of you!"

Beyond bit back his remark, and took Light's hand instead, insisting that he followed though Light was glaring at him fiercely. Eventually the younger man relented, let himself be brought to bed and laid down, watching Beyond as the man took his pack of cigarettes. He lit one and looked at the younger man.

"I would do nothing to hurt you, Light," the man said again.

"Shut up." He's had enough of that comment. That and his professions of love. What sort of sick, twisted person was he? Didn't Beyond realise that his very nature was hurting him?

Light turned his body away so he couldn't see, but the smell of smoke still lingered. He had already long associated that smell with Beyond, and his somewhat sweet, musky scent he adored.

That thought made his heart clench. He'd just plainly admitted to the man he loved him, and yet—how could Light accept what he had done? Light was a man who firmly believed in justice, despised murderers, and criminals. But Beyond was one.

What had been his purpose in killing that man, anyway? Beyond had never explained it, but Light knew. The murdering was done in cold blood. Beyond had asked Light himself to tempt that man who had died to follow him. The man hadn't, which was probably a mistake, and had confronted Beyond instead, leading to his bloody end.

Light had seen everything. He had run in just in time to see Beyond bashing the man's skull in, and the sight had truly horrified him.

He had seen countless bloody, sickening crime scenes as a detective before. Light had always been unfazed. However, nothing prepared him for the violence of an actual murder, seeing it right in front of his eyes. Nothing could have prepared him for how carnal and gory the entire thing was, the way Beyond gritted his teeth till his veins knotted in his neck. The way he had laughed afterwards.

It was as though he had become a different person. Not even a person, a fucking demon—that, or a god of death.

And yet, despite all that, he couldn't think of being alone in a world without Beyond anymore. What would happen to him if the man really died? How would he recover from it ending so abruptly, after nearly two months of a torrid passion with this man?

Fuck, he felt like crying again. But that was fucking weak. Light wasn't a weakling. He was a genius, a very capable man with a job he was excellent at. And yet the thought of this man leaving him made him feel so empty. What was it called, this feeling? He doubted it something so terrible was fit to call love.

He heard Beyond's footsteps coming closer and stopping at the foot of the bed. Light looked at him. He was quiet for a long moment, before speaking, his voice somewhat hoarse and subdued.

"You'll still... watch over me when I sleep, won't you?"

"Is that what Light wants?"

Light paused, then looked away. "...Yes."

Without a word, Beyond returned to his place on the bed, wrapping his arms around Light's vulnerable form.

When Light was at work the next day, he grew pensive and quiet during the discussion of the crime syndicate case he was on. He didn't even give feedback like he usually did with enthusiasm, so much so that his colleagues had noticed, especially Matsuda.

The rest of the night before, however, Beyond had gone on pretending as though nothing was unusual, being affectionate with Light, which he allowed still to some extent, but he never let him touch him too much. He found himself flinching slightly and brushing him away when he tried to kiss his mouth before he left for work. Beyond had kissed his forehead instead.

Light was still sad and angry, not even sure if it was aimed at Beyond, but he didn't show it. He was a master of hiding his emotions, after all.

Beyond had driven him to work as per their usual routine. Light had never said anything about letting him drive or not, but instead had discontinued their usual banter. The man noticed, but didn't say a thing to aggravate Light, telling him he would pick him up after work. He had nodded and plainly agreed without saying a word, heading to the NPA building to start his work as usual.

Despite him trying his best to remain calm and unassuming, Light couldn't help but be distracted.

It was a dangerous thing Light was doing. Light's sense of righteousness demanded that he turn Beyond in, and ignore the fact he loved the man. He was a murderer, for God's sakes, and Light was a detective. This sort of entanglement he had gotten into would only end horribly. It already had, because when the man died from his hands in front of Light's eyes, he really felt as though something inside him had been broken.

Besides, it was his job to put people like Beyond behind bars, wasn't it? What was his entire life and career for, if it wasn't for that purpose?

And yet, no matter how many times Light had threatened that he would turn him in after Beyond made several mistakes, Light had never actually done such a thing. Because his feelings always got in the way.

Feelings. Fucking feelings, Light thought bitterly.

He was slightly startled when Matsuda tapped his shoulder at his desk during lunch break, turning around and giving a fake, placid smile to his friend.

"How are you doing, Light-kun? You haven't talked much today, have you?"

"I'm... fine."

Matsuda looked at him, rubbing his chin and giving Light a sympathetic look, lowering his voice to a hush. "Are you sick? Uh... is it problems with Rue-san, Light-kun? It's okay, you can tell me. I might not be able to help, but I can at least give you a listening ear, if you need it. I'm your friend for a reason, right?"

Despite Matsuda's somewhat comforting words, he was still distracted, attempting to look busy by re-reading his case files, but all that ran through his mind was—what had he done to deserve such a thing? Why was he letting this affect his work?

Wasn't he supposed to be the best at his job?

Wasn't it stupid to let it affect him like this?

"...Yes, it's problems with Rue-san. I can't do anything, though." He gave him a tired smile, "Thank you for caring, Matsuda-san."

"Please don't get depressed, okay?"

"I'm not the sort of person to get depressed, so don't worry."

"Um... well, I don't intend to make you angry, but Light-kun, you're smart and perfect in everything, but... you're only human, aren't you?"

...Something clicked in Light's brain.

He realised what he had to do.

"Yeah, I am." Light stood up and left promptly, leaving Matsuda to blink and stare.

"Light-kun-"

Light ignored the man calling to him, taking the elevator to the chief's office.

He knocked twice, and barely even waited for his father to answer before simply barging in, seeing him, Mogi and Aizawa in a discussion—presumably about the B case, or the organised crime syndicate—Light had never bothered to know.

But he had to tell this now. Tell someone something, at least, clear his mind and conscience of something he had been holding back since forever.

"What is it, Light?" His father questioned, looking at Light oddly because his son had never done anything so rash as barging in without permission before.

"I—I know it isn't my place to say, Dad, but I have a new lead for the B case."

Soichiro seemed genuinely surprised, because he had thought his son had given up on the fact that anyone, especially the deputy director, was going to give him a place in the more tough cases after what had transpired. He did find it odd that his son had grown disinterested, just like that. According to his younger colleagues, Light seemed to be perfectly fine doing the more mediocre cases he had been assigned to. He had been taking it all in stride, they said.

"That again, Light-kun?" Aizawa asked him, "But the deputy chief personally reprimanded you, put you out of that case-"

"I know, but you have to believe me." Light looked at his father instead, a hint of pleading in his tone.

None of them had seen Light this desperate before, the young man having always been a calm, collected character.

Light continued, brushing his hair behind his ear, fidgeting somewhat uncharacteristically. He didn't even know what was up with him, his masks being dropped, "...I'm an eyewitness. I saw the murderer B kill in front of my eyes yesterday."

Light's breath stuck in his throat afterwards. He had said it. Strangely, he didn't feel... anything after saying it. He had thought he would feel a burden off his shoulders.

He had even thought he would be elated about it. As though it would spite Beyond.

Instead, he felt bitter and guilty. But there was no way of retracting his words, or running out now that he had said it.

"That's-" Soichiro's eyes widened slightly, "Light, I hope you understand what you are doing, Son. Mogi, please record Light's testimony now."

"Yes, chief." Mogi scrambled to grab the laptop, turning it on and opening the case file, ready to transcript Light's witness account.

"You can start, Light-kun," the man said.

"I was with a friend, his name is Rue-" Light pretended not to notice Aizawa's subtly surprised look, who no one noticed aside from him, flawlessly disguising the shakiness in his voice. "We arrived at Ruby Room in the Shibuya area at approximately 11.50 pm, yesterday, 28 October, Saturday. We were in there for about an hour, when I saw a suspicious looking man at the bar," A complete and utter lie, "-Talking to a man in a grey t-shirt with an Iron Cross pendant. It looked like they were arguing over something, and it got violent. They ended up brawling, but the suspicious man lost control of himself, and used a crystal ashtray to bash his head in and he... killed him."

"Go on."

"The suspicious man looked in my direction, and I realised he had red eyes, and—the only person who I know has those eyes is...well, B. His face was the same as I recalled. It was difficult to see because of the lights, but I'm very certain of this fact that it is him. He... ran away before I could do anything."

"Will your friend Rue be able to testify this as well?"

"Actually, no, because he took the first flight back to his home country at 9 this morning. Aizawa's seen him before."

Soichiro looked at the man, who responded in stride. "Well, yeah, me and Matsuda visited Light when he was sick that one day, more than a month ago—his friend Rue had been staying with him. But I'm very certain there will be more witnesses if it's in a nightclub like the Ruby Room, even if his friend is unable to testify."

Mogi suddenly spoke after having checking something. "Chief, there has indeed been a murder last night in Ruby Room. The report came in a few hours ago. The victim had been wearing an Iron Cross and a grey t-shirt, which fits Light's description. And an ashtray was used as a murder weapon as well-"

"Send some men to interview the bartenders, bouncers, patrons—do everything," Soichiro ordered. "Tell the forensics department that the fingerprints and DNA samples from the crime scene have to be treated as first priority."

"Yes, chief."

The two men left, leaving Soichiro and his son alone. There was a short silence before the older man spoke.

"I didn't know you were into that sort of lifestyle, Light, going to a bar like that. I know you're young, but... it's rather surprising."

"My friend is a foreigner, and...he wanted to know what the night life was like in Japan, so I indulged him." Light smiled sheepishly at his father.

"How come you've never told me you had a friend living with you before?" His father asked.

"I thought it was unnecessary," Light said, "I didn't want to bother you. He's my friend, after all. And I didn't think anything would happen last night, I mean—we just wanted to have some fun before he left this morning, that's all, and then... such a thing happened. I didn't expect it, honestly. And Rue-san... he had already scheduled his flight back home a month beforehand, so he couldn't just stay here to be an eyewitness. But it was really gruesome seeing someone actually kill in front of me. That's why I was so nervous." Light looked at him apologetically, putting on a perfect mask of false emotion, "I'm sorry, dad."

"I understand, Light."

"I'll go back to work now."

Light excused himself, closing the door behind him.

He walked towards the nearest bathroom. He closed the stall door, put down the toilet seat and just sat there, his eyes wide with guilt for having even done that.

He had turned into a big fat fucking liar.

Light had meant to tell them the complete truth about Beyond, but he lied once and had to cover up with another lie, and another—until everything, he thought, in his whole life was a huge mess of lies.

Rue and B were the same person. Light wondered how long it would take for the police to find out—or maybe they never would.

Despite what Light had told Matsuda earlier—how he would never become depressed over some fucking relationship problem, it was slowly becoming true. Light felt guilty as all hell, because he realised he shouldn't have said all that—that he had done all of that out of spite. What was going to happen now?

Light wrung his hands, then grabbed at his own hair, trying not to break down in such a place, because he wasn't pathetic.

He was Yagami Light.

He was an NPA agent who was several steps above the rest. He was an amazing person, an extremely gifted individual who everyone had a high opinion of, and of course, he deserved every bit of it. He was arrogant, but he felt it was well deserved.

He never broke down.

Especially not after doing something he should have done in the first place. He was never meant to be entangled in this sort of mess. He had to cleanse himself of everything first before he could find some peace, because his heart was beating so fast and his chest had started to hurt.

After several moments, Light recollected himself like the proper young man, the bright NPA agent, he was, getting out of the cubicle and washing his face and hands. He dried his skin off with paper towels, and righted his appearance so he appeared flawless once more.

This was him.

No one could change it.

When Beyond picked him up in the car as usual, he noticed something very odd. Light seemed to appear completely normal, unaffected, even smiling at him, and yet his eyes were cold and shifty.

Cold, which was unlike they had ever been before. Cold, and fucking guilty. Light could play around with masking his emotions, but his pretty brown eyes were so expressive. Beyond thought of how naïve Light was to think he could disguise anything from Beyond.

Compared to Beyond, Light was a fucking innocent boy. And he couldn't hide anything from him no matter how much he tried.

He parked the car in the lot beside Light's apartment. They got out together and walked back to his home. Beyond was still watching him from behind, observing Light as he took off his shoes, locked the door and placed them neatly on the rack, about to go to his bedroom-but Beyond stopped him by grasping his hand, pushing him roughly against the wall. The resounding crack of Light's head against the plaster rung through the criminal's ears.

Light gasped in pain, lashing out at him, attempting to wring himself away from Beyond forcefully. "What the fuck do you think you're doing, bastard?"

Beyond stared at him, loosening a hold on Light's frame, taking off his brown wig and contacts and revealing his usual red eyes and black hair. He smiled at Light unnervingly.

"You know how they say eyes are the window to one's soul, Light?"

"...Yeah, but I think that's a fucking cheesy and pointless phrase used by idiots. What the fuck did you slam me against the wall for, huh?" Light hissed, annoyed and hurt.

He felt the spit sparks of fear too, because the last time Beyond hurt him was when he'd choked him and that was nearly two months ago. Judging by how violent his behaviour had been—there was no saying he wouldn't hurt Light too.

"Shh..." Beyond dropped his wig and contacts on the floor, long fingers slipping into Light's hair and massaging the sore spot on his skull rather lovingly, "It's just this, Light. Let me tell you what I've been thinking. You see, the reason why I'm perfect with disguises is that—I think I'm going to be completely honest here, darling—is because I don't even know if I have human emotions anymore. And I think you know very well the reason why. Don't you, baby? And yet, I've managed to fall in love with you. What does that make me, huh?"

Light flinched slightly at the way he called him 'darling' and 'baby', unsure if he even meant it.

"That... just means you're still human, I suppose," Light said calmly, trying not let his fear show on his face.

"You think so? But a human being's eyes are really expressive, aren't they?" Beyond stared into his eyes, boring into him with his red irises. "And mine really aren't. They haven't been since forever. Do you know what I'm thinking, baby?"

Light faltered a moment, looking, before answering brusquely, "No. And don't fucking call me that, I'm not your baby."

Beyond ignored the remark. "I'm actually feeling pretty pensive, Light. I'm not the type of guy to look thoughtful, aren't I?"

"I... I suppose not."

"Well then, ask me if I know what you're thinking."

Light swallowed.

"...Go on, darling."

Light rolled his eyes when he used the pet name again, because he had a feeling that he was being sarcastic instead of pensive like he said. He mock-repeated in a half-hearted attempt to placate him. "Do you know what I'm thinking, B-san?"

"Yeah. I do actually. Your face tells me that you might be displeased with me, and I can understand why, but your eyes—yeah, they're a different case, aren't they? They're really expressive, do you know that? That means you're still completely human. An innocent. I can always see when you're hungry, angry or sad-" He caressed his cheek, "When you're needy for me...and countless other raw emotions. I like that I can read you. But most of all, Light, right now, at this very moment, your eyes are telling me that you're feeling very guilty."

Fuck.

Beyond continued. "You see, I love you a lot, Light, and you have no obvious reason to feel guilty for anything...so I wonder -what's the reason you're feeling that way?"

Light felt like he was taunting him. He hated it. He gritted his teeth, pushing at Beyond's chest. "Get away from me, bastard."

"Maybe something happened at work, darling? Did anyone make you feel bad?"

"No! Shut up!"

"What the fuck are you hiding from me, huh? Why are your eyes telling me you're guilty, Light? Guilty over what, huh? Did you fucking rat on me?"

"I didn't do anything of that sort! Stop threatening me, B-san, fucking control your temper—"

"I'm not threatening you. If you haven't done anything wrong, then you have no reason to feel guilty, yeah? What did you do, Light?" Beyond eyed him down possessively, bright red pupils blazing, "You told your father you were harbouring me, is that it? Are they around us and going to ambush anytime soon then throw me into prison, huh? You know that I'm just going to escape again."

"I didn't fucking do that! Why won't you believe me?"

"Because you're hiding things from me, Light, it's plenty obvious, and you're not answering my question."

"You know what? Fuck you."

Light wrung his body away forcefully from Beyond, frowning at him witheringly. He went to the bedroom, shaken but masking it the best he could, not wanting him to have leverage over the situation. He took off his shirt, redressing into more comfortable clothes hastily, intending to just go to bed and ignore Beyond. He didn't want to argue with him anymore, because what might spill out of his mouth scared him.

He was just about finished tugging his shorts on, raking his fingers through his hair when Beyond pushed him onto the bed, pinning him against the headboard.

"That's a sign of a guilty conscience, I see," Beyond said acidly, "Avoiding me and thinking I'll just fucking forget it."

"It's your fault, you bastard, you're the one who hasn't been truthful to me, either! You've avoided answering me so many times before, have you forgotten, B-san? Why am I suddenly the one who's being blamed?"

"I'm not blaming you, I just want to hear the honest truth from your mouth."

Light growled and struggled beneath him, kicking at Beyond's shin hard and punched him in the mouth. The abrupt pain made Beyond cup his face from the sting. He stared at Light, bewildered at the suddenness.

"I—have never fucking lied to you! Get off! Stop accusing me!" Light spat, frustrated and angered, tears coming to his eyes as he pushed Beyond off him, "I want you to get out! I never want to see you again!"

The red-eyed man was slowly recovering from the shock of Light hitting him, rubbing his sore mouth.

"You don't want to see me again?"

"No!" Light breathed heavily, wiping his face furiously, trying not to break down again.

"You're lying aren't you?"

"I'm—I'm not! Stop fucking assuming you play such a huge role in my life when you're—you're... fucking insignificant-"

"What if you really don''t see me again, Light?"

"Stop trying to guilt trip me, fucking bastard, I've had enough of your games!"

"Come on, now, just answer me with a simple yes or no. You told someone, didn't you? It's a simple question."

Beyond was pulling him onto his lap all of a sudden, Light on top of him in a straddle, the sudden movement making him startle and grasp onto his shoulders to steady himself.

"Stop this, B-san!"

"Tell me, Light. You knew what you were getting into by letting yourself get involved with me, didn't you?" He asked him placidly, red eyes boring into him, cupping Light's face gently.

"Of course I knew, but you're making me regret everything I worked for-"

"That's pretty regrettable in itself, Light. Your job is just a job, it's not who you are. Besides, I've come to realise I wanted to live with you in peace forever."

"...Your fucking nature won't let that happen!"

Beyond paused.

"I won't deny that."

Beyond's hands were beginning to stroke and roam over his thighs, slipping under Light's t-shirt and stroking his soft stomach, and further up, his hands touching over the places he had, countless many other times.

Light gripped his wrist, stopping him. "What do you think you're doing, huh? You wanted to fuck me again, is that it?" he muttered icily, "You think I'm going to let you? When you've spent the entire time accusing me-"

Beyond cut him off. "Because my accusations are a true fact. I hate fighting with you. Besides, no one is coming to arrest me yet—and if they are, I'm going to spend the last time with you making things right."

"No one is coming, B-san," Light responded placidly, still unsure if he wanted to let Beyond do what he wanted with him. It all slipped out suddenly because he just didn't care anymore. "-Because all I told the chief was I witnessed a murder last night in the nightclub with Rue-san, and the murderer was B. No more, no less."

Beyond grinned at that honesty. Fucking finally.

"See, that wasn't difficult was it? I'm glad to see you're being honest. Still, what you've been hiding from me is pretty anti-climatic, darling. Just that, and you felt so guilty? This is why I adore you, Light, you're so completely innocent, and ...you're a really good person. I thought you were hiding something horrible from me, but that's pretty tame. But the fact that I made you hide a secret, which is me, shows how much of a bad influence I am on you."

Beyond's long fingers traced the bite wound that he had made on Light the night before. It was healing, the tenderness making Light flinch at the touch.

"Yeah, you're horrible, B-san," Light responded defiantly. "I had to say something. I wanted to spite you."

"It wasn't very effective, Light. You should have decided on something even more extreme if you wanted to properly spite me."

"Unlike you, I have fucking restraints and boundaries-"

"Which is a pity, isn't it?"

"You're the pitiful one, B-san."

"That's right. How can I deny this? Do you feel bad for me?"

"No, because you're infuriating, and you deserve-"

Beyond suddenly cut him off with a heated kiss, with tongue and teeth and making Light gasp at how passionate and sudden it was. It was obvious he had caught him off guard, because he gripped at Beyond's shoulders, fighting to push him off. He was a horrible man and kept on trying to manipulate him, and yet his kisses were so good that it made him wither.

Light felt his hot tongue trace over his bottom lip, opening his mouth instead of pushing him away, feeling the hot slick muscle slide in.

Light bit down on it hard.

Beyond jerked somewhat, and pulled away, his tongue bleeding and Light looked at him triumphantly.

"You wanted to play rough, huh?" Beyond asked him, grinning.

Light glared at him. "No, I don't. I don't feel like kissing you anymore. I don't want to do anything with you."

And yet, Beyond still had his hands on his hips, securing him down, even as Light struggled to get off his lap, the man beginning to tug off his shirt and began pressing bloody kisses all along his jaw and neck, all of which made the younger man gasp at how he was dirtying him. Beyond's blood and saliva were all over his sun-kissed skin, the fact which made him push on his shoulders harder.

What the fuck did he think he was doing to him?

"I told you, I don't want it anymore-"

"Aren't you angry at me, Light? Don't you want to hit me for being a bastard?" When Beyond grinned, Light could see the blood on his teeth like he was enjoying it, the fact which suddenly made him regret biting down, because he should have known.

Beyond was so sick.

And even though he was thinking that, Light was cupping Beyond's face and pulling him into another heated kiss. The red-eyed man readily responded, hungry as his long fingers caressed Light's soft skin, stroking over his back and waist and stomach, over the pink nubs of sensitive flesh and rubbing over them.

Beyond was laughing, but Light silenced him again by biting on the man's bottom lip roughly.

"You shut up, B-san," he muttered, watching in delight he made Beyond bleed again, a sort of unhealthy fascination in making Beyond suffer and bleed that was beginning to show itself in Light.

Light stared at him, watching him in pain, the way he licked up his own blood, and he felt as though Beyond deserved it. Fuck him, Light didn't care.

"You like seeing me in pain, baby?"

"Whatever. Let me go!"

"No, you look like you're hungry. You want to be fed something, don't you?"

"The fuck are you talking about—AH!" Light gasped as Beyond roughly ripped his shorts and underwear off his frame, making him sit naked on his lap and stuck his fingers into his own mouth and coated them with saliva, then promptly stuck two wet digits into his sore little hole.

"Fucking wait, you sonofabitch, you're so fucking impatient, B-san!"

Beyond ignored him as he began to fuck his fingers roughly into his little hole until he loosened up and began to whimper, to which he did after several minutes of the somewhat frantic abuse.

Light tried to stop him, attempting to pry his hand away from his hip, but it was too late and it was too good. Beyond had found his spot and was abusing it, raking his long fingers right into the sensitive ball of nerves that had his cock twitching to life, aroused beyond words at his rough ministrations.

"What's the matter, Light? Go on, you wanted to smack me for being a bastard, huh? You want to fuck me up, is that it?"

With each maddening word he was jutting his fingers roughly deep into Light's body, making him moan and get hot from it.

"You're a fucking bastard, I should hate you—AH! Don't, not right there-!"

"I'm not stopping you from hating me. It would make it easier on you when I die."

Light jerked in his hold, whimpering and his eyes widening at what he was saying. "Why are you torturing me, B-san? What are you saying?-Hnn!"

"I hurt you, don't you? Why don't you hurt me back, huh? Haven't I given you enough reason to do it?"

Beyond watched in delight as Light squirmed on his lap, his long fingers piercing him deeply from beneath, reaching to the drawer to pick out the small tube of lubricant and pushed the small tip inside Light. He emptied half of the contents inside, making him wet, the fact which made Light squirm and writhe harder, gripping onto Beyond's shoulders hard and nails digging in his skin till he bled.

"I'm really going to fuck you up if you don't do anything about me," Beyond growled.

"Y-You don't fucking rule me, bastard—hnngh!"

"Is that so? How about this, huh?"

Beyond undid the front of his jeans, pulling his thick, straining cock out, lubing it up and promptly began to pull Light down on his cock all the way by his hips—just like that, hard and demanding.

Light gasped and half-screamed.

"F-Fucker! D-Don't put it in all the way so fast—nng, AH!"

"No? You don't like it? I thought you always liked my cock ramming hard in you," Beyond growled, hitching his hips up and began to fuck him like that. Light's eyes rolled somewhat trying to keep up with the pace, his body being thrown into the mad rhythm and jutted up like he was a rag doll, made to submit to the man's wild desires in the most demeaning fashion.

"Don't—ah! F-Fuck, I can't when you—AH! Do it like that!"

"You're fucking angry at me, aren't you? Why don't you put me in my place?" Beyond snarled, practically salivating in hunger and desire, watching Light's pretty body jerk and arch, his cock bobbing up and down as he was made to ride him. "Huh? I'm really going to tear you open if you don't stop me- I'm a fucking monster, aren't I?"

Light's eyes were beginning to water.

He was still so hot, though. Beyond just wasn't doing it right. He was fucking taunting him, and Light wanted to smack him and yell and tell him to fuck him properly like he always had-

What was he turning into? His little cock slave? Because he wasn't-

And who the fuck did Beyond think he was?

Light felt terribly delirious from the pain and pleasure, being thrown into the rhythm and impaled on his thrusting, impossibly thick cock, feeling the entire girth pump and pulse within him, the heat which liquefied him.

And then, all of a sudden, Beyond was stopping for a moment as though to adjust their positions, and Light grabbed Beyond and pushed the man down onto the mattress. There was a sound of a thud of Beyond's head against the headboard initially, and Light grinned at it.

That, he thought, was payback for Beyond slamming him against the wall as though he was his property. Which he wasn't.

He used that leverage to grab at Beyond's throat, pressing his thumbs against his windpipe and choked him.

"I could fucking kill you right now, B-san," Light growled dangerously, his face still flushed pink, his taut muscles still making a tight sheath for Beyond's cock.

"Yeah? At least make me die happy by letting me cum first."

Beyond was grinning at him, taunting him, the man quickly running out of breath.

Light's eyes widened and he realised what he had been doing, his hands quickly pulling away, but Beyond's hands were on his again.

"Why don't you finish what you started, Light? Do it. Fucking choke me and ride me."

Light understood his intention. "You're sick-"

"You're sick too, baby, getting hot from seeing me bleed." Beyond laughed, "I told you I can read you. It might be my bad influence on you, Light."

"Shut up!"

Light pinned him down on his back as hard as he could, pulling his body up and down on the man's cock, his mouth open slightly with his building desire, his breath coming in pants, whimpering slightly. "Ah—hnn!"

The man lifted his hips into him from below, watching Light do as he pleased, his pretty face pinked.

"You're on top of me and yet you're still so fucking submissive."

"Shut up—AH!" The way he rolled his hips made him hit an especially good spot, doing it over and over again, his head thrown back, slick inner muscles milking his stiff girth.

"You can't keep me from talking unless you choke me while you're riding me all pretty like that."

Beyond was smirking.

"Come on, baby, do something exciting for once-"

Light slapped him hard, which made the man beneath him reel slightly. "I said, shut the fuck up."

"Is that so?" Beyond taunted, recovering fast, grabbing his slender hips and grinding hard into that spot, which had him writhing.

"Ah—AH!"

"Want me to shut the fuck up, is that it? Use your imagination, Light." Then Beyond ground out when Light didn't comply, "I could fucking throw you off and fuck you into the mattress till you scream-"

Light snapped.

The younger man knocked his hands away from his hips, his face angered and lusty, maddened, his hands wrapped around Beyond's throat and giving in, actually giving in and choking him, pressing down his thumbs and fingers hard into his windpipe and blocking the air from going into Beyond's lungs.

He began to ride him hard, lusty groans and pants coming from his sweet mouth as though possessed with desire.

"You've always been like this, you fucker-" Light snarled, riding his stiff cock hard with so much fervour, "AH!—Trying to drive me up against the wall with your antics, you pervert, getting off on being choked-"

"...I've never met anyone as sick and perverted as you—nnhg-You like this, B-san?"

His muscles clamped shut on his member so hard.

Beyond's breaths were growing raspy and horrible sounding, but Light didn't care.

"You like me riding you, don't you? Bastard, taunting me—AHH, all the fucking time... I hate it so much-"

Light's cock was weeping, drooling with so much precum and staining the front of Beyond's shirt.

His red eyes were starting to water, the whites of them turning red and his face getting rather flushed as only received choked breaths of air.

And yet, the man was smirking and grinning, unable to answer with the obstruction. It infuriated Light so badly.

"You like seeing me like this, don't you B-san?" His fingers tightened around his neck, surely leaving a bruise on his pale skin. "HAH—It's your fault, doing what you want, hnn, making me into a bastard like you-"

Beyond rasped something, his face incredibly flushed by this point.

"I can't hear you, Beyond-"

The man at this point was starting to struggle beneath Light, genuinely unable to breathe, the fact making his red, watery eyes roll into the back of his head.

The fact that Light was beginning to take on some of his characteristics were starting to make him feel really horny. He had no manner of gloating, however. His orgasm was beginning to build soon, his cock twitching and throbbing within Light's body.

Beyond's hands clawed at Light's, but they were unyielding, and he attempted to choke Light's name.

"It feels so good inside me, B-san,-hnn, it's twitching inside me, B-san, ahh—you're leaking inside me, you're close, aren't you?" Light whispered erotically, even his dirty talk fucking adorable to Beyond's ears, as much as he could register it, smirking somewhat down at him as he rode him harder.

"You wanted me to control you this time, didn't you B-san? Do I—nngh!-Please you?"

Beyond nodded hazily, before he was convulsing beneath him, writhing and jerking as though to get his hands off his throat, already completely losing his breath and nearly blacking out.

He came in deep, hot spurts intensely inside Light's delicious body.

It was only then that Light was letting his throat go, the younger man's face flushed with pleasure as he rode his own orgasm, the man's thick cock still completely stiff from still being milked by his tight, wet muscles.

He lifted his hips off, his cock sliding out with a wet sound, warm cum dribbling down from his pucker and over his thighs. He stayed seated on Beyond's thighs, legs somewhat weak.

Light watched Beyond gasp and breath heavily, coughing, clutching onto his bruised throat, but he seemed so fucking content with himself, even as dirtied as he was with the mix of their semen and sweat and blood on his skin and clothes.

He truly was a sick bastard.

He didn't think he minded, though. He only had him. Light could look past his flaws... because he could finally admit he wanted and loved B. The man had finally heard it from his own mouth.

Light was about to say all this, when B was suddenly grabbing the back of his neck and pulling him in for a hungry kiss. The younger man returned it just as hungrily, before Beyond suddenly pulled away, still coughing.

"Good," he wheezed, "That was fucking good... That's why I love you so much, Light... Are you alright?"

"Yeah. Are you?"

"I am fucking spectacular." Beyond's voice still sounded somewhat pathetic, but he learnt to mask it. The man grinned.

"Light, say it to me again."

"Hm?"

"Say that you love me. I want to hear it."

"What for?"

"You've only said it once. I'm needy too, you know? And I've said it to you so many times I've lost count."

Light relented after a long moment. "...I love you, B-san."

"Come here." Beyond opened his arms up for Light, kissing the top of his head.

A few moments again, he spoke, rather playfully, "...Want me to fuck you again, Light?"

"What? -Hey!"

Light yelped and then laughed when Beyond pinned him down on his back again, the sound saccharine to his ears.

"Hahaha—" Another kiss, "Hey, mnh, your throat's all bruised, B-san..."

Light's smile was so sweet it ached his once unfeeling heart.

He wanted to burn that image in his mind forever, so if he was really going to Hell, at least his beautiful face still kept him in his memory. At least that could keep him sane and human, the fact he had loved Light.

The fact that he could still make him smile.

Beyond had done so many things that had hurt Light, and made him cry—and yet, despite it, Light had forgiven him. He truly was a good person, and Beyond was the opposite, bad, horrible, rotten...

That he could make him smile was better than parting with him on bad terms—at least he could still make him happy for one last time.

And the fact that Light was unsuspecting, still naïve about the whole thing-

Beyond kept on smiling, then nipped the column of his neck gently, answering, "Yeah, I know. It's your mark on me."

"I think I'm tired, B-san," Light said playfully, a sparkle of liveliness in his eyes.

"Liar." Beyond pushed his legs open, preparing to make love to him again, "Sweet, beautiful liar...the only person I could live for besides myself."

"Hey, B-san, wait, ah-"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

Light was still sleeping deeply when he stirred at 5.30 a.m.

Beyond got up quietly, cleaned himself up and dressed. He didn't put any disguises on this time. He took a pen and paper and began to write a letter to Light. He was done in a matter of minutes.

He placed that letter beneath the clock on the side table.

He looked under the bed for the suitcase, pulling it out and pressing in the security lock, checking the NANBU 360 pistol he had kept from before.

Beyond tugged on his coat, returning to Light's side and stroked his hair out of his face. Light didn't stir because he was tired, he supposed, breathing shallowly. The man kissed his forehead as a final goodbye.

He didn't look back when he left.

He arrived at the luxury hotel in a taxi. The security never checked Beyond's briefcase. He specifically had requested for room thirteen on the thirteenth floor.

The fact that he paid full in cash in large bills seemed to let the staff keep quiet about his suspicious face, and the generous tips as well. Finally, he was left alone. Beyond kicked off his shoes and socks, peeling off his coat and making himself feel comfortable. He lit a final cigarette and had one last drink.

Beyond took the switch-blade he hid in his pocket, rolling up his sleeves.

He held his right arm out, carefully digging the sharp end of the blade into his flesh and vein, making the blood trickle out into an empty glass of wine. Beyond never winced, having been hardened to the pain because back in that damned hospital they kept poking into his median cubital vein to give him injections, sedatives and blood samples alike.

That seemed like so long ago.

When he was done bleeding out, he wrapped the wound tightly with a ripped piece of cloth from the hotel bedsheets. He dipped a finger, standing on the bed so he could reach the high wall and began to write, in big, grotesque, bloody letters.

I am B.

He grinned widely at his handiwork, then washed the glass of blood out and his hands, sitting on the armchair with the non-automatic pistol loaded on his lap.

Beyond waited for the time.

8 a.m.

He put the gun in his mouth. Unlatched the safety with his thumb.

Outside, the loud exploding sound seemed to serve as a waking call for every patron of the hotel.
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Butterfly Caught