Adult-FanFiction.org : Anime

Regrets in the Crying Sky	By : Rhov Category: +. to F > Fairy Tail Views: 7052 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Fairy Tail is the property of Hiro Mashima. I make no money, I just do this for my own pleasure.

Chapter List
- 1-Rain
- 2-Regrets
- 3-Hesitancy
- 4-Taboo
- 5-Dessert
- 6-Domestication
- 7-Crying
- 8-Vow
- 9-Freedom
- 10-Decisions
- 11-Only
- 12-Stay
- 7
- 8
- 9
A/N: Lara Fabian's "Broken Vow" is perfect for this chapter, with a gender pronoun change, "her" to "him." Also, I kept listening to another Adele song, "Set Fire to the Rain," about a woman who realizes her relationship is a lie and frees herself from the tears. Plus there's the dichotomy of rain and Juvia being a "rain woman," and fire with Natsu being a Fire Dragon Slayer, like the two are butting heads and Juvia lets Natsu's flames burn away the pain she has been living with for years.

Chapter 8

Vow
Gray's coat was drenched by the time he got to the house he and Juvia lived in. The rain had picked up rather suddenly and had not let up. He paused on the porch, dusted off the raindrops, and looked at the door. Somehow, he had to open that door and walk inside with a smile. He had frozen his heart many times in the past, but with the flame of Natsu's love still burning in him, he wondered if he could do it once more. He took a deep breath, grabbed the doorknob, and turned it.
"I'm home," he called out as he stepped inside.
He had expected Juvia to come flying out of the bedroom and leap excitedly into his arms like she always did. Instead, as he took off his shoes and hung the wet coat up by the door, the house was oddly quiet. It was too early for her to be at the guild already. Natsu said nothing about a large mission, which would have been the only reason Juvia would leave so close to Gray's return date. Then he heard a noise in the bedroom.
"Juvia?" he called out. He ran his fingers through his wet hair, trying to dry it out as he walked through the house. "Are you here?"
He walked into the bedroom to see Juvia standing there with her back to him. Her hair was still frizzy, unbrushed, and her clothes were wrinkled as if she had slept in them. Now that he was this close, he heard soft sniffles. His eyes widened with dread.
'Oh God, does she already know?'
"Juvia?" he asked hesitantly. His skin prickled with fear and guilt.
He heard her take a steadying breath before whispering, "Welcome … home, Gray-sam-…" Her throat failed before she could finish saying the name.
She did not turn around, and he did not step any closer. He waited, sensing something was seriously wrong. It took him a moment to realize there was a suitcase on the bed. Juvia had some of her clothes folded away in it.
"W-what's going on?" he asked. He knew the answer, but he refused to believe it. She was his wife! He loved her deeply. He also knew, he had seriously betrayed her. But … how did she find out?
She snuffled, and he realized that the rain outside fell harder. "You … you're late, Gray-sama."
There was a sound of bitterness in her words, and Gray approached it cautiously. "I'm actually early. I hadn't planned on being back until this weekend."
Her shoulders shuddered again, as if his frigid words had turned her blood to ice. "But Gray-sama returned yesterday." She finally spun around, and he saw her wet face. "Didn't you?" she said softly, yet filled with accusation. Outside, lightning flashed through the brewing sky, mirroring her anger.
Gray could not move, nor could he speak.
"Juvia was shopping and saw Gray-sama was back in Magnolia, but Gray-sama wasn't heading home. Juvia followed, and soon Gray-sama was going back out of town. Juvia was worried, but then Gray-sama went to Natsu's house. Juvia couldn't figure it out. Why Natsu's house first? Why didn't Gray-sama hurry right back home?" Her lips trembled as she tried to stay strong. "Juvia wondered, maybe it was the rain. Juvia went back home and got an umbrella. When Juvia came back, there were noises. Juvia was worried and looked in through the window." Tears spilled over her cheeks. "Juvia saw what happened."
Gray's heart was racing. "Y-you … saw?" He felt a jolt of terror. "What did you see?"
Her eyes crinkled with tears. "Enough." She tried to smile. "Juvia can't do that to Gray-sama."
Gray covered his mouth and turned away with a spike of sickness. If it had just been mere suspicion, he could have lied his way out of this, or even if all she saw was them kissing, maybe he could patch this up, but … she saw! She saw him under Natsu, not just kissing, not him forcing the Dragon Slayer in a bout of horniness and dominance, but she saw him submissively accepting Natsu into his body.
"Juvia, I swear, I have never been untrue to you before."
That gave her only a faint, awkward smile that faded instantly. It was something she feared, that this thing with Natsu was ongoing, or that his long missions had been filled with adulterous affairs.
He finally stepped into the bedroom and to her side. He wanted to hug her, shield her, protect his precious rain woman, but as he reached to her, the stiffness in her shoulders told him that, this time, he could not touch her.
"I'm so sorry," he said earnestly. "It was a one-time thing. Natsu knows that. I don't even know what I was thinking last night. I love you, Juvia," he insisted, "and … I screwed up. I already told Natsu that I'm not leaving you, and I'm not going to. It was just this once, just a…" He cringed, because he was not sure if this was true or not; still, he had to say it. "It was a mistake." Part of his heart ached to brush off the sweet passion of last night as something foolish, but what else could he tell her?
"Does Gray-sama never want it to happen again?"
Gray hesitated a fraction too long. He knew he had to say yes, it was the proper thing to say, the only thing to say. However, his tongue refused to form the word.
Juvia's wet eyes turned up to him, not shocked, more like she already knew he could not answer her.
"Juvia knew," she said faintly through tears. "Juvia knew for a while, Gray-sama's love was not a hundred percent. Juvia thought the other person was Lucy, but when Lucy got engaged, Gray-sama had no reaction. Juvia began to wonder who it actually was that distracted Gray-sama. Now Juvia knows … it was Natsu."
"Juvia," he sighed, finally grabbing onto her arm.
"It's … shocking," she admitted, "but in a way, Juvia is glad. Juvia didn't lose out to another woman. It's just … too much," she cried. "A man! Juvia never thought … it could have been a man. If it was a woman, Juvia could make herself prettier, or sexier, or dye my hair, cut it, anything to be better than her, but … a man…" She shook her head, stunned beyond thinking clearly. "Juvia can't be a man."
"No," he cringed. "Look, it's … that's not it. It's not about what you have, or don't have. You're perfect." His mind was racing. How could he save this? What could he say to her to make the rain stop?
She glared up, and Gray heard the rumble of thunder outside. "Not perfect enough."
His eyes slammed shut. What could he even tell her? It wasn't about her, or wanting a man. "Oh God. I … look … i-it's not you. Really, it's not." How could he even tell her, he had wanted Natsu for years? Last night had been about his own greed.
Her eyes dropped sadly. "Juvia can't keep sharing Gray-sama with someone else."
Gray began to panic. "I swear, Juvia … it was just once. I'll never go over to Natsu's place again. Please." He lowered his head as tears came to his eyes. "Please, forgive me. Please, I don't want to lose you. I really don't. I don't deserve forgiveness, but … please." His heart shuddered with guilt at giving her pain.
She seemed to calm down a little. "Juvia knows that Gray-sama will never wholly be mine. Juvia … has been sharing Gray-sama … for a long time. Maybe since the beginning. How long has Gray-sama loved Natsu?"
He raised his head up, his mouth opened in shock at the question. How the hell was he supposed to answer truthfully that he had loved Natsu long before he ever even met her?
"That long?" she asked, sounding disappointed. "Then, Juvia has never fully belonged to Gray-sama."
"That's not true!" he insisted. "I picked you."
Her eyes suddenly brewed like a hurricane, the wind outside whipped up the torrential rain, lightning crackled through the sky, and she screamed, "Gray-sama didn't pick Juvia last night!"
Her anger stung him, and Gray's head fell. "Please, Juvia. Please, don't do this."
"Juvia would have liked to have said the same thing last night, except … Gray-sama was already doing it," she sneered.
That stung. He turned away and covered his mouth as screams of protest bubbled up and tears tumbled down. "Oh God, I'm so sorry!" he said between trembling fingers. "I'm so … so sorry. Dammit!" he cringed as he realized just how horribly he had betrayed her love.
How could this have happened? Last night was supposed to be a fantasy, a dreamworld, one night of make-believe pleasure. It was not supposed to affect his real life, not like this.
"Juvia wants a divorce."
"No, please!" he screamed, tears running down his face. "It was a mistake. It was just once. Please!" He fell as his legs turned to jelly by the flood of misery. He sobbed at her feet, broken by his own betrayal. "Please … don't," he whispered, his voice cracking through tears. "Please, Juvia. Give me a chance."
She turned and walked away away from him. "Juvia gave Gray-sama five years, and this is what Juvia gets."
"No, please," he pleaded, gazing up at her from the floor. "It … it was just once."
When she looked back down at him, her eyes looked like they almost pitied him. "Gray-sama … doesn't want it to be just once."
"It will be," he insisted.
She shook her head. "But it's not what Gray-sama wants," she said in brokenhearted understanding.
Gray had no idea what to even say. She was right. He wanted Natsu again, even if he knew that last night had to be a one-night-stand. He remembered what he had told Natsu while lying in bed together.
'I will want it again. I already do. But I'm not sure if I can. I'm not sure if I should.'
"Does Gray-sama love Natsu?" Her bloodshot eyes looked straight into his. "Did Gray-sama tell Natsu 'I love you'?"
Gray again hesitated.

"So tell me again. Tell me properly."
"Why should I say something so embarrassing?"
"Because I wanna hear it. I want to hear you say it, in your voice, and watch your lips, so I know for sure that I'm not imagining all this. It's too good to be true, so I need you to say it properly. Bluntly. Say it."
"I love you … Natsu."

Gray's eyes closed in defeat. "Yes," he whispered. "I … I told him that."
She nodded in strained understanding. "If Gray-sama is happy…"
"Juvia," he protested.
"Juvia has packed," she said, sounding emotionally drained but collected. "Juvia can stay with friends."
"No," Gray said firmly. "It was my mistake. I'll leave. If this is really your choice…" He gulped hard as pain shredded his heart. "I wronged you, so I'll go. You can keep everything: the house, money, anything you want." He hung his head in misery. "It's the least I can do to apologize for betraying you."
"Where will Gray-sama go?"
"To hell, for all I care," he muttered miserably. "I can crash with Lyon or somewhere else. You don't have to worry about me." He pulled himself up and wiped his wet face with his sleeve. "I'm so sorry." He felt like he could say that over and over, and it still would never convey just how miserable he felt for hurting her like this. "Juvia?"
He suddenly strode across the room and yanked her around into a crushing hug. He knew she was strong, she could have slipped out of his embrace with ease if she did not want this. The fact that she remained only made his heart burn worse.
"Think about this, please," he begged. "I don't want to lose you. I love you. But you're right. I've … I've had feelings for Natsu … for a long time. I should have just told you outright, but … I was scared and ashamed. If I had just told you, maybe this never would have happened. Last night … I shouldn't have gone there. I screwed up. I'm so sorry," he cringed. "I … I did choose him last night," he whispered in shame, "but … but I also chose to come back to you. Maybe I'm a bastard for loving two people at the same time, and if so, I apologize. If you can forgive me … I don't know if I can promise that I won't feel that way about Natsu anymore, but I can promise to be loyal."
"Juvia wants more than loyalty," she said with a frailness to her voice that showed she was barely managing to stay strong through this.
Gray pulled back. He suddenly realized, his begging was only hurting her worse. Her mind was made up. He had ruined everything last night, and there was no way to repair the vow he had broken.
"Juvia … has to let Gray-sama go," she said as she held back anger and sadness. "Gray-sama can be with Natsu, or anyone else. Juvia should not hold Gray-sama back anymore."
"Juvia!"
"Can Juvia ask for one thing?"
"Of course," he said ardently, ready to give up anything if it meant she could smile again some day.
"Juvia … wants one last kiss."
Gray's heart broke down. He grabbed her and squeezed her tightly as he wept into her soft, blue hair. Years of happiness flashed through his mind, days of young love, joyful dating, wild lovemaking, and tender evenings snuggled together. It all cracked and shattered under the sin of last night. Once, he had vowed to always protect her. Now, he had hurt her in the worst way.
"A part of me will always love you," he swore ardently.
She sighed softly. "But it has always only been a part of you. Never all of you."
His teeth gritted, cringing that this was true, and he could not deny it. Still, she hugged him, and he gripped her, knowing this would be the last time he could hold her this close. Then he suddenly kissed her. His hands grabbed her face, trying to beg forgiveness through his kiss, trying to say sorry for years of worries, a night of painful betrayal, and a lifetime of sadness that would haunt them both.
The kiss softened. She always kissed so delicately, so refined and tender. It was nothing like the kisses from last night. This was a kiss he knew well, but one he took for granted. Probably for the first time since they started dating many years ago, he really paid attention to just how Juvia kissed.
When their lips separated, Juvia looked satisfied, but Gray was struggling to hold back more tears. She touched his face with tenderness, the gentle touch she always used. This time, those tender hands created a storm of regrets in his heart.
"If I can do anything…" he began.
"Give Juvia time. If Gray-sama and Natsu do hook up, just … not in front of me."
Gray shook his head. "I really don't know … after this…" He had no idea if he could go back to Natsu, not with all the guilt carving a hole in his heart.
"Juvia will leave this weekend, if Gray-sama wants to come get anything."
That felt like the final nail pounded into the coffin of their marriage, and Gray felt his stomach lurch. "I … I'll just take a few things for now."
He still had his duffel bag from the mission with some clothes. That was enough for a few days. He took only a picture of his parents. He would hardly blame Juvia if she shredded all other photos of him. Then he went back to the entryway, pulled on the wet coat, put his shoes back on, and opened the door.
"Gray-sama?" Juvia called out.
He paused, but he could not turn around and show her how heavily he was crying. She said nothing more, no goodbye, no forgiveness. Only his name. He knew, he deserved nothing from her.
He never deserved her love in the first place.
He stepped out wordlessly and trudged down the street, keeping his head down and his coat pulled up against the storm. As he walked away, it suddenly opened up and poured. This time, Gray knew it was Juvia making it rain. He did not grumble about the foul weather. As residents of Magnolia fled from the deluge, Gray walked onward, letting it soak him, taking it as punishment for betraying his wife.

End of Chapter 8
- 7
- 8
- 9
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Regrets in the Crying Sky