Adult-FanFiction.org : Anime

Pins and Needles	By : libek Category: Digimon > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 5186 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon: Digital Monsters, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Prelude
- 2-Daisuke
- 3-Yamato
- 4-Ken
- 5-Yamato
- 6-Miyako
- 7-Ken
- 8-Yamato
- 9-Takeru
- 10-Ken
- 11-Yamato
- 12-Ken
- 13-Yamato
- 14-Hikari
- 15-Ken
- 8
- 9
- 10
DISCLAIMER: See previous parts.

A/N: I like Daisuke. This part features a bunch of him, and is from Takeru's POV. I like watching Daisuke and Takeru interact. They have a somewhat odd dynamic -- sort of like how Taichi and Yamato might have behaved towards one another, if Yamato were about four years older than Taichi. Takeru seems to find Daisuke equal parts amusing and exasperating, like a puppy or something. XD (But no, this isn't a daikeru. I've written one of those; I might write more. Takeru and Hikari are dating in this ficcie, people. ^_~ I like Hikari too much to do that to her.)

Pins and Needles

Part Nine

by Libek

"...so I was thinking, maybe if we..."

Takeru paused uncertainly, then sighed and didn't bother finishing his sentence. He didn't particularly enjoy the sound of his own voice, so what was the point of talking any longer when Daisuke so obviously wasn't paying any attention to him? The blond boy really wanted to be exasperated, but he just couldn't anymore. He was getting used to this. It had been eight days now. Eight days of Daisuke just staring off into space and making small noises of agreement in response to whatever was said to him -- even if they were insults. Miyako might have found this endlessly amusing, but the history teacher, at least, was on the verge of sending him to the principal's office, and Takeru would have liked to be mounting some sort of offensive.

He would have liked to be rescuing his brother and his friends.

Breathing deeply, Takeru turned and pointed his eyes out the window beside his desk. He had been trying, trying so hard, not to think too much about Yamato's disappearance. Thoughts like that invariably led to wondering whether or not his older brother were still alive, and Takeru just...couldn't handle that question. It was like thinking the words filled the air before his eyes with thick, oily black smoke. Never see his big brother again? He stared hard at the schoolyard far below until his mind went comfortingly blank and the cheerful drone of the other children in their class faded.


It was lunchtime. Intellectually, Takeru knew that none of the many conversations going on around him and Daisuke were particularly quiet. So why, even when he focused on them, did they sound oddly muffled and distorted? As though, no matter how he tried, he just wasn't quite on the same plane of existence as their classmates were. He looked at Daisuke. Daisuke was on his plane, too. They were shades of grey in an ugly colored room without enough energy to pretend to be bright.

Did none of these people read the newspapers? If things kept on the way they were going, there would soon be a nationwide curfew. A measure to save these children who didn't even seem to know they were in danger at all. Was this just the way that normal people had of dealing with their problems, by going on with their everyday lives as though nothing ever changed? Takeru felt cold suddenly and hunkered down over his desk to warm his upper arms with his hands. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see a gaggle of Daisuke's friends from the soccer club. Shouldn't they have noticed how quiet he was being and at least come over to ask if he were all right? Wasn't that considered common courtesy among good friends? Hell, even among acquaintances. He'd had enemies show more interest in his well-being. These children were acting as if they could scent the disruption of their perfect lives that probably hovered over them both like a fog.


"Do you think he's all right?" the other boy asked abruptly.

For a full five minutes, Takeru thought that he had imagined that question. Hallucinations made a good deal more sense than getting an actual, coherent question out of Daisuke after eight straight days of saying 'hmm' in different tones of voice. Hesitantly, Takeru sat up a little straighter and said, "Do I think who's all right?"

"Taichi-senpai," Daisuke told him, with eyes that weren't quite focused on anything in the room currently. At least that much was still reassuringly true to form.


"Oh." Fighting back mental images of blood and death, Takeru shrugged uncomfortably. He didn't want to lie. "I don't know. Maybe, maybe not."

We might know more, if we were actually trying to go after them, he did not add. Which we might be doing if you were even listening to me at all, he refrained from elaborating.

Oblivious of his impressive self-control, Daisuke closed his eyes and dragged his fingers slowly through his messy reddish hair. "I hope he's okay," he said in a soft, unhappy sort of voice. "I never shoulda let them go. Omegamon's strong and everything, but I don't think he's been in a real fight since Diablomon came back. Sure, we're all kinda out of practice, but Taichi-senpai and Yamato-san and the rest of the older Chosen Children have been retired for years. You and me, we only quit doing this stuff last summer. It shoulda been two of us. You and Iori or Miyako and Hikari-chan. Not them..."

He knew it hadn't been intended that way, but Takeru couldn't help feeling slightly miffed by the implication that Daisuke would have rather seen him captured. He forced a smile regardless. "Don't be silly, Daisuke-kun. This whole thing was Taichi-san's idea, remember? He sort of volunteered for it. They both wanted to go. Don't blame yourself, all right? You had no idea."


"I knew they'd taken Ken," the other boy quicquick to argue. "He and Stingmon can look after themselves usually. We should've thought...I should've," he corrected himself in a softer voice. A small, weak grin slid over his face. "Taichi-senpai always told me that a good leader's supposed to look after the rest of the group. We're supposed to think about them all, not count on them to watch their own backs and trust that nothing'll go wrong."

The way he said that...as though precious Taichi-senpai could have never made a stupid decision, as though it must have been his fault instead somehow...

Combing his fingers through his hair, Takeru sucked in a harsh breath and shook his head. "That's such bullshit. You weren't there the first time, all right? You don't know how many times Taichi-san made stupid plans or even attacked with nothing. And do you know what? Even if you had told him this was a stupid idea, it's not like he would have listened to you."


They were on the floor in five seconds flat, and Takeru had no idea how they had gotten there. His back had slammed into the hard tile, though, because now it ached, and Daisuke was on top of him with a fist cocked -- one that was obviously meant to hit him in the face. Startled and more than a little taken aback, Takeru licked his lips nervously. The room around them had fallen into a deadly sort of quiet.

"You take that back!" Daisuke fairly snarled at him, his mouth so twisted with anger that he was almost spitting the words. "They could all be dead! Do you realize that? Do you even care? He could be dead, and the only thing you can do is insult him! Taichi-senpai was -- is a wonderful leader."

Well, Takeru mused bitterly, didn't it just figure that the first conversation he'd have with Daisuke would turn into a fight? But there was no time for thoughts like that. He had to be careful. Their next teacher could walk in here at any minute, and then they would both be in serious trouble. "I never said he wasn't," Takeru began cautiously. "But Taichi-san still really had to grow into the position. He made a lot of false starts first, and he still makes mistakes sometimes -- because he's human. Nobody's perfect, Daisuke-kun. That's all I was trying to say. I just don't want you to beat yourself up over something that you couldn't have --"


"He would," the redhead interrupted, but he was quieter now, fist slightly lowered. He didn't look angry any longer...just tired and sad. "You know what, Takeru? Everyone always said you would've made a better leader than me. And I used to believe them." Slowly, Daisuke got to his feet, so that he was gazing down at Takeru from what seemed -- at this angle -- like a great height. His lips quirked. "I know I don't always think stuff through, that I've got kind of a temper, and you know...I'm sorry about that...but you'd suck at this job. No offense or nothin'," he went on quickly. "You're just...too much like your brother."

In the act of standing up himself, Takeru froze. Before that exact instant, he hadn't been pissed off about any of this. He hadn't even minded being tackled, because he'd known how his comment about Taichi had sounded. Now, however, he straightened up and met the other boy's eyes with equal frost. "What's wrong with being like my brother?" he whispered.

A year ago, he wouldn't have reacted so automatically. He had always loved his big brother, but there had never been anyone or anything external that Yamato needed protection from. Until he'd begun doing things that started rumors that other children heard and felt the need to react to as if his sexuality were any of their fucking business. These days, Takeru's knuckles were one big permanent bruise from constantly getting into fights. He hadn't minded any of the others. He really wouldn't have minded one more.


"Um..." Daisuke started, eyeing him. "It's not a bad thing. You're both just, you know...survivors. You take care of yourselves and expect other people to do the same. So you can sit there and tell me it's not my fault and that there's nothing I can do about it and expect me to see it your way, but...I don't get to write stuff off like that. It's my job to keep you guys safe."

No matter how hard he tried to stop them, Takeru could not entirely prevent his eyes from rolling sarcastically.

"What?" the other boy demanded, suddenly sounding much less certain of himself.

He might have laughed. "Nothing. Okay, so -- maybe you're right about me, Daisuke-kun. I don't know. I only said that because I thought it was what you needed to hear, but maybe I am a survivor. Nothing wrong with that. Still. Do you really believe that about my brother?"

The expression on Daisuke's face was answer enough. Takeru snorted quietly and lowered his eyes.

"If my brother were a survivor, Daisuke-kun, then I wouldn't be so worried about him. But he's not, and I am worried."

There was an awful lot of whispering going on around them, and he paused uncomfortably -- but when he looked into the shorter boy's face, Takeru was suddenly desperate to impress this simple fact upon him. Itn�n't seem right, somehow, for someone to bear Yamato's digimental and yet understand so little about him. After four, almost five, years of knowing him, Daisuke was still missing things that Taichi had figured out in a matter of months. Their classmates would have plenty of gossip for the scandal sheets today, if they could follow any of this at all.

"Look," he began quietly, decided. "'Niichan...he doesn't survive things, all right? He endures them. He's never been very good at taking care of himself, so he doesn't trust anyone else to do it, either. I wish he were more like what you think he is. I wish he were more like Taichi-san, who's at least learned how many people he can protect and still not leave himself totally defenseless. But he isn't, Daisuke-kun. He's like you. He tries to help everyone and hates himself when he can't."


"I..." Daisuke trailed away and bit his lower lip. "I know how to protect myself," he said at lasrownrowning.

Takeru sighed. "No, you don't. When Ken was the Digimon Kaizer, he showed you a group of Bakemon disguised as all of us and asked you to pick which ones would die. You couldn't choose. You hated me -- oh, yes, you did," he added firmly when he saw the redhead opening his mouth as if to protest, "-- and yet, you couldn9;t 9;t let me die. When he said that we would all die because you couldn't choose one to live, you offered yourself for Deltamon's supper and fell right into his trap."

"So?!" the other boy snapped, his ears going red. Too late, Takeru realized that he must have felt like an idiot for being tricked that way.


"So," he said, a bit more gently, "that's what 'Niichan would've done."

"Taichi-senpai, too!" Daisuke objected defensively.

Smiling, Takeru shook his head. He wouldn't have been quite so blas� about it if he had known that doing so would only make his semi-friend even more upset.

"Don't," Daisuke led.led. "Don't you dare say he woulda picked someone to live. If you say that, I swear I'll --"

"No, of course not." Although...if there hadn't been any other way... But Takeru was quick to shake off that line of thought, as he rather doubted that Daisuke would've understood how calling Taichi 'pragmatic' differed from calling him 'a cold-hearted bastard'. Better just not to introduce the concept. "But he wouldn't have offered himself up, either -- he would've just had Agumon evolve to WarGreymon and attack Ken. Or maybe the Deltamon itself, if he were thinking more clearly. It's just..." Takeru struggled to put this into words. "Sacrificing himself wouldn't have ever occurred to him."


When the other boy opened his mouth to respond, closed it again without saying anything, and scowled, Takeru knew that he had won the point. "But...but if I'd attacked Ken, he might've killed them all! And V-mon couldn't 've taken on that Deltamon all by himself..."

"All true," Takeru said with a small shrug. Privately, he felt that this quality made Daisuke better at this than Taichi had been, but it also made him worry about the redhead sometimes in a way that he had never worried about their former leader. "And you know what? One life for four is a pretty fair trade. It's what anyone would have done, really -- even Taichi, if he had had long enough to think about it. But see, something tells me that you would have done the same thing even if it was just to save one life. That part of the reason why this little solution came to you so quickly is that you think your death would just matter less than anyone else's. Am I wrong?"


Daisuke flushed, fidgeting uncomfortably. "Oh. Well. See..." Then he smiled faintly and turned his head to gaze intently at nothing. "No, I guess Taichi-senpai wouldn'ta done that, huh? Like that's some huge surprise or anything. I mean, why would he? He's special. He's got loads of friends and he's really popular and the girls go crazy for him. He probably could've beaten Tamachi even when Ken..." Daisuke's voice trailed away and he sighed softly. "But I'm nobody, Takeru." His smile sharpened around the edges. "Self-sacrifice comes naturally to losers, that's all."


There was something pitiful about the way he spoke that made Takeru want to reach over and...pat him on the back awkwardly, really. "Loads of friends, really popular, and girls han off off of him, huh? And it's not like that describes Oniichan at all."

"Well..." The other boy flailed briefly. "But Yamato-san doesn't like girls, so --"

"He doesn't have any problems with guys, either," Takeru assured him, wishing that his knowledge on this matter hadn't been quite so first-hand. Second-hand information or even vague rumors were better than walking in on your brother making out with people.


Again, Daisuke scowled. He didn't seem to like not being able to argue. "Damn. You really think I should've attacked him?"

"That's not what I said at all," Takeru snapped. "I just wanted you to understand." Then he realized how aggravated he must have sounded, and shook his head, smiling very slightly. "Sorry. I guess I'm just sick of people misunderstanding 'Niichan," he admitted softly. "Girls think he's aloof and mysterious or else a self-centered jerk. Guys -- that he must think he's better than they are or that he loves all of the attention. And I'm sick of being told how cold he ihat hat he doesn't care about anyone but himself. Even Taichi-san felt that way before he got to know my brother. I can take it from strangers, all right? Because Oniichan wouldn't like it if I started telling everyone that he's just scared of being hurt. But Daisuke-kun..." Takeru felt a bitter laugh coming on and couldn't stop it. "You, of all people, should know how important his friends are to him."


He would have liked to say more. He wanted to explain the ugly parts of his brother, too -- how he hated explaining himself to others and yet desperately wanted to be understood, how hard he worked to keep people out but then clung to them when they got in and felt horribly rejected if they gave up -- the way he had of making everything so much harder than it had to be... Whomever he eventually fell in love with was going to have his work cut out for him. But Daisuke was not going to be that person, so he didn't need to hear any of this stuff. He probably wouldn't want to, either. There was such a thing as too much information, especially if your listener was like Daisuke and could only really absorb a little bit at a time.

"Yeah," the other boy was saying slowly. "Yeah, I guess I do. I never really thought about it before. I mean...I just figured...I don't know what I figured. How come he never tried to be leader, then?"

Takeru grinned sardonically. "Because he figured he'd suck at it, of course. Same reason I've never volunteered."


"But..." Daisuke spluttered. "But that's what I said..." He threw his hands up in frustration. "You mean we've been arguing over nothing when we could've been making a plan?!"

Valiantly, Takeru once more refrained from mentioning that he had been trying to extract such a plan from Daisuke for days. "I wouldn't call it nothing, but...yes," he said instead. "Would you like to make one now?" Takeru added with not entirely subtle eagerness. He was sort of worried about Miyako -- or rather, Hikari was and had pointed it out to him uneasily. The older girl was growing restless, and Hikari seemed to think that, if they let another day go by without -- at the very least -- discussing things properly, her Jogress partner might go after Ken and the others on her own.


"Yeah, 'course," Daisuke said at once, but then his enthusiasm seemed to fade somew "On "Only..."

"Only what?" Takeru asked, exasperated.

The redheaded boy looked up at him seriously, eyes worried once more. "Only," he whispered, "I can't think of anything to do but attack. And if we do that, he's probably gonna hurt Taichi-senpai and Ken and Yamato-san and all of the Cadets. Or she, whatever." He combed his fingers through his spiky hair ineffectually. "I don't want them hurt, Takeru. I don't want them dead. There's gotta be something else we can do..."


"It's just like with the Bakemon, isn't it?" Takeru said carelessly. He had to admit, Daisuke was right about this. A head-on assault wasn't going to work, but...neither had reconnaissance. If only they could get close enough to the digimon's hideout without alerting him/her to their presence...

He had completely forgotten what he'd said by the time Daisuke whispered, "Yeah, it kinda is." When he turned around, the other boy was leaning back in his chair, tilting it off its axis and slowly leveraging his weight with one foot so that he rocked in a thoughtful sort of way. "Do you think this digimon guy'd go for an exchange?"


"Even if he were interested -- a big if -- how would that help?" Takeru asked in exasperation.

"Well...they'd be safe."

Pursing his lips, Takeru sighed. "No," he said firmly. "It's a bad idea. Think omethmething else, Daisuke-kun."


A long pause ensued while they both tried to follow this advice. In the background, the other students -- apparently having decided that this was the end of the day's excitement -- resumed their own, not-terribly-quiet conversations.

"God, I wish Ken were here," Daisuke anced ced suddenly, flopping down over his desk. "He'd know exactly what to do."

"No kidding," Takeru seconded with feeling. "Why did he have to pick that day to go into the Digital World? If he'd just waited a little longer..."

He was aware of the other boy's eyes on him then, and blinked at the incredulous expression on the other boy's face. As if he had just said something too ridiculous for words. Takeru didn't think he had...

"What?" he demanded, slightly annoyed.

Slowly, Daisuke raised his eyebrows. "Tell me you don't seriously think Ken went in there on accident. Come on, man. No way! He knew there was something wrong and wanted to check it out. He's a genius, remember?"


"So...what, he went looking for trouble?" Takeru snorted. "That doesn't seem all that bright to me."

"No, 'course not." The redhead looked positively mutinous at the suggestion. "I figure he tried to talk to Gi-sai-san or somethin' like that, and got attacked. But I'll never believe he just happened to feel like a stroll through the binary woods, okay? He never goes into the Digital World anymore if he can help it...too many bad memories." He closed his eyes. "There must've been some other reason."


That made sense, Takeru thought, but... "Like what? None of the kidnappings were exactly headline news until he disappeared...even Koushirou-san hadn't started getting suspicious of them yet. Maybe it was Gennai-san, maybe he sent Ken-kun an email -- but why him? He knows Koushirou-san much better, even now. The two of them were talking about once a week until this happened..."

"Huh." Daisuke considered this. "Maybe someone else emailed him. Someone with a personal grudge."


"You think Archnemon's been reborn?" Takeru asked doubtfully. From what they knew, only digimon who died in the Digital World itself were reformatted and born again in the Village of Beginning. Those that died elsewhere, like Wizarmon, had no place to go. Archnemon had been killed in that strange between dimension that Oikawa had conjured up, and Takeru was fairly certain that it didn't count as part of the Digital World. On the other hand, Vamdemon kept coming back, and he didn't seem to need reformatting. "Maybe. I don't know, though..."


"No, not Archnemon," Daisuke said. "But she's not the only digimon who hated Ken, not by a long shot. Could be Mummymon or Devimon or BlackWarGreymon -- or how about the zillion digimon he tortured for fun four years ago? Maybe that guy from the Black Ocean thingie wants revenge..."
- 8
- 9
- 10
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Pins and Needles