Crash

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Chapter 10


\"No, it\'s—\" Shuuichi flushed darkly, though his hands still
moved. \"It\'s not that. I….\" He raised shy, hopeful eyes to the
other, shivering faintly with excitement. //I…want to do this for
him.// Rallying his courage, Shuuichi shifted a bit lower on the bed
and began to undo Yuki\'s belt. \"Can I? Yuki….\"

\"Can you…?\" He understood a moment later, and he wasn\'t sure how to
respond. Hopefully Shuuichi wouldn\'t be able to see him
blush. //It\'s…been a while.// Yuki snorted quietly to stall before
he could come up with a response. \"It…might be awkward…like this,\"
he said somewhat stupidly. But he wasn\'t exactly stopping him,
either.

Shuuichi licked his lips unconsciously. \"You could…lie down?\" he
suggested, not sure whether Yuki\'s hesitation was a good or bad
thing. But he wasn\'t ready to give in yet, and his eyes brightened
as he finally undid the author\'s belt without being rejected.
Shuuichi lifted his chin for an eager kiss as his fingers started on
his lover\'s pants.

Yuki couldn\'t help it—he was embarrassed. And though he told himself
he shouldn\'t be surprised by anything Shuuichi did anymore, there was
a tiny, anxious bubble in his stomach. \"All right….\" He sat a
little on his hip, pulling himself further up the bed. //I can\'t
believe I\'m going to let him—he\'s never done this before.// He
pursed his lips. Has he? \"You…don\'t really know what you\'re doing,
do you?\" he asked carefully.

Shuuichi again fell into giggles, nervous ones, as he wiggled his way
lower on the bed. \"Not really,\" he admitted, blushing. \"But…I can\'t
do much else, right?\" His excited fingers unzipped the author\'s
pants, sliding up to play along the edges of the fabric, brushing
warm skin. \"If….\" He gulped, ducking his head a bit. \"If it\'s…bad…
I\'ll stop, but I…want to try….\" Shuuichi knew he must have been
scarlet by then, but he wanted so badly to please his lover, to maybe
make up for all the trouble he\'d caused the last several days.

By now Yuki was sure he was getting to be that red himself. \"You
don\'t have to do this,\" he said, somewhat halfheartedly. He wasn\'t
about to discourage him, though at the same time he knew he should be
a bit more wary. //If he starts giggling....// He didn\'t want to
think about it, so he curled his fingers in Shuuichi\'s hair, deciding
that it was best to trust him. If he refused Shuuichi would just
worry about it anyway…. And it wasn\'t as if he was against the idea
to begin with…. Yuki rolled his eyes. \"Just don\'t bite me,\" he warned
seriously.

Shuuichi grinned, though he managed to keep his laughter in this
time. \"I won\'t,\" he promised, taking a deep breath. //I...I\'m really
gonna do this.// Encouraged by the thin fingers in his hair, he began
to ease the author\'s pants off his hips, a moment later sliding off
his boxers as well. //It\'s just like doing it for real--just go
slow....// He played his own fingers over Yuki\'s length, just gaining
his courage before leaning close to gently whisper his lips over his
lover.

Yuki took in a deep breath, unable to deny the shiver that ran
through him at even that gentle touch. //It…really has been a
while….// Gulping, he let his eyelids slowly flutter closed, urging
Shuuichi a little closer.

//Well, it seems okay so far....// Strengthened, Shuuichi grew bold
enough to finally wrap his lips around the other, his own eyes only
partially closed as he concentrated on keeping his teeth out of the
way. His fingers continued to move over neglected flesh. //It\'s not
that bad.// Shuuichi managed to take in a bit more, curiously moving
his tongue in hopes to better please his quiet lover.

Yuki\'s voice caught in his throat, and he did his best not to shift
on the bed. //He\'s…not that bad. Not really....// Unconsciously
licking his lips he tilted his head against the headrest. His breath
spilled from him softly in long sighs. //I could get used to it.//

As he gained confidence, Shuuichi was able to finally set something
of a rhythm, taking Yuki in until his throat threatened to gag. It
was such a strange feeling, but it sent little tremors through him
and made his own desire tighten. He couldn\'t help a low, faint moan,
nearly humming around his lover.

Yuki bit his lip, determined not to lose...what little dignity he
could have in a situation like this, but he couldn\'t help that his
pulse was rising in his ears, making his breath faster. A few tiny
murmurs slipped from him despite his concentration as his curling
fingers encouraged Shuuichi to continue. //Damn, but…it feels good.//
He shivered a little as heat spread gradually through
him. \"Shuuichi....\"

Ears perking, Shuuichi could barely keep from cheering--Yuki rarely
made any kind of sound, let alone spoke, during sex. He doubled his
efforts, reminding himself again that this was no different than how
they might normally go about things. He relaxed his throat--no
different than when he sang--and pulled himself closer. There was a
moment of discomfort, but Shuuichi swallowed and found it easing. He
hummed softly at the bittersweet taste at the back of his throat as
his hands curled around Yuki\'s hips.

Yuki was still shivering, his body growing tight and expectant as helt elt himself gradually nearing his limit. But he let Shuuichi stay a
while longer, his breath still uneven though his voice didn\'t escape
again. After a while he at last began to urge Shuuichi back, tugging
on his hair in a warning. \"Shuuichi--\"

He knew that catch in the author\'s breath. Not wanting to chance
hurting either of them, Shuuichi hesitantly pulled back,
though.... //I still want him to....// Smiling, Shuuichi instead
wrapped his hand around his lover, shifting a bit higher to pressing
biting, teasing kisses to his trembling stomach as he worked to help
Yuki find his release.

Yuki shuddered, curling forward a little as he reached his climax.
His fingers, still twisted in Shuuichi\'s hair, curled reflexively as
he tugged him a little closer. Gradually his breathing came back
under control, and his face lost most of its flushed tone. It…had
been pretty good, but he suddenlyldn\ldn\'t think of a single thing to
say.

Feeling inordinately pleased with himself, Shuuichi pulled Yuki\'s
pants back on for him and wiggled his way back up the bed. \"So? Was
it good? I can\'t remember the last time you said my name like that
while we were together.\" He started to lean in for a kiss, then
changed his mind, nuzzling at the author\'s cheek with playful
affection. \"You sounded good.\"

Yuki blushed a little; he hadn\'t really realized he\'d said anything.
He almost thought Shuuichi might have made it up, but he didn\'t say
so. \"Did I?\" He relaxed into the bed and didn\'t resist as Shuuichi
drew a little closer. \"I guess...it must have been pretty good, then.\"

Shuuichi chuckled and wriggled up against his lover, whispering his
nose and lips over Yuki\'s throat. \"Good, \'cause I was a little
worried. But if you enjoyed it, then I\'m really glad.\" Careful to
keep his casts out of the way, he wrapped hesitant arms around the
author\'s waist, wondering just how far he\'d get to go before being
rejected.

Yuki tilted his head back; he\'d been in a good mood before, and now
he felt lazy, so he didn\'t feel like trying to reject him. It was
even kind of nice, which may have accounted for his sn nen need to
spoil the mood by muttering, \"You should probably brush your teeth.\"

\"Later,\" he replied immediately. \"I won\'t kiss you or anything if you
don\'t want, but if I brush them now it means we both have to move so
you can get me to the bathroom.\" Shuuichi sighed happily, content
with the closeness and the warmth of the other\'s body. He wasn\'t
ready to move for anything less than a natural disaster, and even
that would have to happen right beneath his feet to spoil the moment.
He continued to play his lips faintly now and again over smooth
flesh. \"Love you,\" he murmured suddenly, blushing and curling his
fingers against Yuki\'s back.

Yuki frowned slightly as he cast his gaze up towards the
ceiling. //Love…huh?// His curled his own fingers slightly in
Shuuichi\'s hair. \"I suppose…we really are lovers,\" he murmured,
almost to himself, as if it had never occurred to him
before. \"Aren\'t we?\"

Shuuichi giggled softly, though perhaps with a little less energy
than before. \"Of course we are,\" he replied, curling beneath Yuki\'s
chin. It whe mhe most obvious answer to him, and he decided to just
leave it at that. After all, Yuki was the one who\'d jumped in front
of the press, who\'d taken him on a date to the park. Who Shuuichi
had just…given a…. He flushed darkly and shifted on the mattress.

//Even though we know so little about each other.// Yuki let his
eyes slip shut. //I didn\'t even know he had family near Tokyo until
now—a sister, a father. And I still don\'t know about his mother, if
he has any more family….// He kept Shuuichi pressed against him as
if intending to sleep. //And he still doesn\'t know everything…about
me. About anything.// \"Of course,\" he echoed, sinking into the
mattress. \"Of course we are….\"

Shuuichi nodded firmly. //Of course.// He lay still for several
moments, listening to the author breathe and shift, lulled by the
soft heartbeat against his ear. When he felt he might drift off, he
gently nudged Yuki\'s chin with his nose. \"Yuki? I think I\'m gonna
fall asleep. I don\'t know if…you wanted to move, but….\"

It was too early to go to sleep. Yuki didn\'t want to fall asleep
here, because he knew he\'d only wake up a few hours later and not
want to disturb the other, meaning he\'d spend the entire night
here. \"All right.\" He started to slip out from being half under
Shuuichi, suddenly feeling like hedededed a little space. It was too
odd, to be thinking…that they really were lovers. He hadn\'t let the
meaning of that word reach him in all this time, but now he found it
almost intimidating. \"I still have some things to do, so I\'ll let
you sleep.\"

He smiled, too tired to be upset that he would be sleeping alone.
Shuuichi waved, scooting up onto the pillow. \"Don\'t stay up too
late,\" he sing-songed, giggling to himself. \"G\'night Yuki.\"

Yuki paused at the door, watching him there for a moment. //It\'s a
little late to be wondering what I\'m going to do with him,// he
thought, trying not to frown. And though he had decided earlier that
he wasn\'t going to, he blushed a little and, quietly,
uttered, \"Thanks.\" Let Shuuichi take that as he would. \"Um…
goodnight.\"

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Shuuichi nearly dropped his keys as he unlocked their apartment door,
grinning to himself. He waved over his shoulder to Hiroshi, silently
thanking him for taking him to the hospital. //Yuki should be back
from his appointments by now. Maybe...he\'ll be happy.// He pushed the
door open. \"Yuki? Are you back? I\'m home!\" Grinning happily, he
hobbled into the apartment, concentrating on not falling over with
his crutches.

Yuki glanced up from his seat on the sofa; he\'d been watching the
news idly, waiting somewhat anxiously for Shuuichi\'s return. He
couldn\'t explain why he felt the sudden energy--maybe it was simply
the thought that Shuuichi would finally be able to move around on his
own. That in itself would make it a lot easier on both of
them. \"Hey.\" He smiled slightly. \"Not gonna fall down, are you?\"

Giggling, he made his way--slowly--towards the couch. He was actually
very tired, though he did his best to hide it. \"These things are so
heavy,\" he complained. It took a little swinging, but he finally
managed to get himself seated on the couch. His left knee still
couldn\'t bend, the cast being half-way up his thigh. The other ended
just below his knee, though it still made it difficult to sit--he was
more flopped onto his back, legs stretched out across the floor. He
turned to Yuki brightly all the same, beaming to see the smile on his
face. \"But you must be happy, since you won\'t have to carry me
anymore.\"

\"It\'s a start, yeah,\" Yuki conceded, watching him critically. \"I\'ll
be especially happy when the c com come off, and they stop scratching
up our floor.\" He pushed to his feet. \"Do you want something? You
look tired.\"

\"I\'m okay, but...maybe some water, please?\" Shuuichi ran a hand
through his hair--he\'d been sweating a bit. //And I just had to come
from the car to the elevator to the door. I guess...my lungs still
aren\'t that strong.// He wiggled back slightly, reaching down to help
pull his legs up onto the couch.

Yuki paused just long enough to help him before moving to the kitchen
He came back a moment later with some water for him. \"What did the
doctors say?\" he inquired, somewhat carefully. \"Will they be able to
shorten the casts soon?\"

Shuuichi propped himself up enough to drink the whole glass before
answering. \"Well, they said the right one could probably come off in
another three weeks, maybe a little more.\" He knocked on the left
one. \"This one...he said even when it comes off, I\'ll have to wear a
knee brace for a while.\" He frowned thoughtfully. \"Though...I guess
that means I\'ll still be able to walk. I\'ll just have to wear pants
on stage and stuff.\" Shuuichi brightened a moment later, facing his
lover again. \"Good news though--he took off my chest brace.\" He poked
himself lightly in the rib to demonstrate. \"Said to take it easy, but
at least I don\'t need to wear that thing anymore.\"

Yuki nodded thoughtfully. \"That\'s good.\" He wasn\'t sure what to make
of the image of Shuuichi bounding around on stage--it triggered
something oddly protective in him he tried to push aside. \"What about
your lungs? I don\'t suppose singing is really an option yet...?\"

\"Well....\" He licked his lips, glancing away again. \"Obviously, I
can\'t do concerts yet. The doctors said to take it easy at least
until the casts are gone, but....\" Shuuichi\'s shors hrs hunched a
bit. \"I want to sing,\" he said, quietly. \"Even if it\'s just in the
shower or something.\" His fingers curled tightly in determination. \"I
want to sing,\" he repeated.

Yuki didn\'t respond right away. \"I know.\" He sighed, passing his hand
through his hair; even after all his practice he still wasn\'t very
good at these kinds of reassurances. \"And you will. It\'s only a
matter of time, now, right? Your fans will miss you that much more.\"

Shuuichi nodded, dropping onto his back. He closed his eyes with a
quiet sigh. \"Thanks, Yuki,\" he replied, honestly grateful for Yuki\'s
efforts. His lips curled faintly. \"I bet they don\'t miss me as much
as I miss you,\" he suddenly added.

Yuki rolled his eyes. \"Apparently.\" But he slid closer all the same,
nudging Shuuichi until the boy\'s head was resting against his
lap. \"Someday I\'ll figure out why that is.\" He plucked vaguely at a
few strands of Shuuichi\'s hair.

He smiled. \"It\'s because I love you,\" he answered simply, as if it
was obvious, wiggling to make himself more comfortable. Shuuichi
decided not to glance up, not wanting to see the face he was sure
Yuki was making.

//I know.// Yuki\'s eyes thinned as he moved his hand to Shuuichi\'s
chest, rubbing it gently now that the brace had been removed. It felt
strange now. \"Someday,\" he murmured quietly, \"I\'ll figure that out,
too.\"

Shuuichi stuck out his tongue, though he was greatly enjoying Yuki\'s
touch--he\'d missed it. \"It would take too long, since I really,
really love you,\" he said, only half-teasing. He perked up a moment
later, looking to his lover. \"How was your morning? You get all your
appointments done and stuff?\"

\"Yes….\" Yuki glanced evasively away, continuing to move his hand as a
means of distraction. //I was with my therapist this morning. He…
still doesn\'t know about that, does he?// \"It was fine. Uneventful--
just how I like it.\"

He smiled faintly. \"Well, that\'s good.\" Shuuichi closed his eyes
again, turning his head so his cheek was resting against Yuki\'s
stomach. \"It feels like...it\'s been a really long day, even if it\'s
only morning.\" He rested one hand over his stomach, the other
extending up over his head, across Yuki\'s knees.

Yuki barely noticed as his other hand moved, teasing the tip of a
single finger along the inside of Shuuichi\'s palm. He...felt good,
oddly enough. Content, for now, and easy. \"What do you want to do
today?\"

\"Nap,\" he replied immediately, fingers curling after the soft
touch. \"At least for a bit--I\'m kinda tired.\" Shuuichi arched his
back faintly, trying to ease the slight ache he\'d had since the
accident. \"After that...I don\'t know.\"

\"All right.\" Yuki settled back into the sofa. He\'d decided to take
the day off from his writing, so there was nothing better to do than
stay here, if it kept Shuuichi happy. \"I don\'t have any plans.\"

Glancing up briefly, Shuuichi couldn\'t help smiling in relief and
pleasure--Yuki was staying. \"I won\'t sleep long,\" he assured, quickly
closing his eyes again. He wiggled, though he wasn\'t able to get
closer. \"Thanks, Yuki,\" he whispered, not knowing why he was thanking
the author, just...feeling too tired. He relaxed into Yuki\'s lap.

\"You don\'t have to thank me,\" Yuki replied, even knowing it was
pointless to damper Shuuichi\'s spirits at this point. \"I\'m
just...sitting here.\" But it didn\'t really matter; he sighed quietly,
returning to rubbing the boy\'s chest. \"Just get some sleep.\"

Shuuichi nodded, smiling faintly. \"I\'m already...asleep,\" he murmured
around another yawn. Another moment later his breath grew deep and
even, lips slightly parted as he slept.

---

The next morning things started out better than usual. Shuuichi still
couldn\'t bounce like he used to, but at least he could get around the
apartment by himself now that he had his crutches. It would be nice,
even, to have Shuuichi cooking for them again, since...he\'d run out
of ideas for creative meals he could manage.

\"Shuuichi?\" Yuki came in from collecting the mail; usually all of
their fanmail went to their respective companies, but ever since the
news report about the two of them several weeks ago the little
vultures had managed to get their home address. Rolling his eyes, he
tossed several girly looking envelopes onto the floor before stopping
on one that looked a little more formal. \"You\'ve got a letter.\"

\"Hmm?\" Quickly stuffing the last of the cookies into his mouth, he
swung around to enter the living room. He took the letter with him on
the way to the couch. \"Thanks, Yuki. It\'s been a while since I got a
real letter.\" He dropped down onto thech, ch, carefully setting his
crutches aside before examining the formal looking envelope. \"I
wonder who it\'s....\"

Shuuichi trailed off, staring at the return address. After a moment
he managed to recognize the clipped, precise writing, and his
shoulders drooped a bit. \"Oh.\"

Yuki glanced over at him as he flipped through a few bills. Shuuichi
had a strange expression on his face he didn\'t recognize, and it made
him pause. \"What is it?\"

He frowned, holding the letter up by his thumb and finger, trying to
read what was inside without actually opening it. //Looks like
it\'s...pretty short. Can\'t be that bad, can it?// He licked his lips
as he lowered it to his lap again. \"It\'s...from my mom,\" he finally
said, unsure how to handle this new situation.

\"Your mother?\" Yuki\'s eyes thinned slightly as he set the bills
aside. Though lately he\'d become more accustomed to seeing Shuuichi
serious, he didn\'t like it. \"Aren\'t you going to open it?\"

Shuuichi squinted at the letter mistrustfully. \"It might explode,\" he
said, only half joking. After another moment of glaring, he finally
tore the envelope and started to read. His eyes narrowed, then
widened a bit. She....

Yuki watched him impatiently, and when Shuuichi didn\'t explain right
away he stepped closer, a hand on his hip. \"Well? What is it?\"

He glanced up briefly, slowly setting the paper in his lap. \"She
heard about...the accident,\" he said, not sure how he should be
feeling. \"Dad must have called her. She...wants me to visit.\"
Shuuichi shook his head. \"I think she must have written a wrong word
or something.\"

Yuki leaned over, plucking the letter out of Shuuichi\'s hands so he
could read it himself. //What…a clinical way of putting it.// He
snorted at the woman\'s strict handwriting. \"Well, it says to visit.
Are you sure it\'s your mother?\" He dropped the paper back into
Shuuichi\'s lap.

He waved the envelope, nodding at the address. \"My grandparents
certainly wouldn\'t write to me.\" Shuuichi picked up the letter
again. \"Besides, only my mom would say something like \'you may bring
a friend to help you around the house.\' In other words, she doesn\'t
want to have to take care of me.\" He reached up, rubbing his
forehead. //I think I feel a headache coming already.//

Yuki frowned seriously. After having met Shuuichi\'s father...he
couldn\'t imagine a woman like that being remotely related to
Shuuichi. He sighed. \"Well, it\'s up to you,\" he declared. \"She said
you should come. Do you want to go?\"

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