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Distortion	By : Macx Category: +. to F > DNAngel Views: 3261 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own DNAngel, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 8
- 9
Distortion 9
Satoshi sat on his bed, stunned, tears gathering in his eyes involuntarily.
He saw and felt fragments of those memories that washed out of a deep,
dark swamp of despair.

I was his first freedom after centuries of being chained and locked
away, he thought. He was going mad with pain and need, the coldness and
the loneliness.

None of his ancestors, except the one who had breathed life into his
work, had cared for Krad. had had used him, had abused him, had kept him
on a short leash and kicked him whenever the entity had tried to rise.

Satoshi�s stepfather had used that desperation, the hunger for freedom
and warmth. He had used him just like all the others.

'You are my everything.�

Now he understood those soft, enticing words. Back then, Satoshi had
cringed away from the possessive emotions, from the needy grasp the demon
had had on his life and the sultry voice. Today, now... he understood.

He had been Krad�s everything. He had been Krad�s last chance, his
only chance, his ticket out of Hell. He had been the living, breathing
soul the demon had missed ever since the first Hikari had died, ever since
the vicious cycle had started. Not because he wanted to possess it. He
wanted to coexist. He needed the partnership to unfold, to be alive, and
he had been given nothing but emptiness.

'I care for you.�

In his own sick way he had because he hadn�t been able to express it
any other way. After such a long time of abuse, his concept of love and
affection had been completely warped.

Krad had been jealous of whatever had been perceived as a rival to
Satoshi�s affections. Objects or people, it had been the same to him.
Daisuke, for instance. Satoshi had wanted to be friends with the other
boy, but Krad had whispered into his ear, had told him that there was only
one person who truly loved him.

He had been craving the warmth of another soul and he had wanted it
for himself.

I understand, Satoshi thought, throat tightening. Gods, I do. Now I
do...

He turned to the presence inside him, the presence that had tried to
touch him before and which he had pushed back. He was no better than his
ancestors... but he hadn�t known.

'I won�t let you go.�

Of course not. Satoshi was Krad�s last chance. Dark had lived and had
a true life because the Niwas had accepted him. Krad had had nothing but
suffering. For close to three hundred years. You�re more like a child
than a demon, he thought. You were thrown into a world you didn�t want
to live in. Your first host adored you, nurtured you, and then the hatred
started. It�s a small wonder you�re still as intact as you are. It�s more
than a miracle that you didn�t turn into a complete psycho.

Satoshi leaned back and gazed at the ceiling. He had no idea how to
handle this, how to approach Krad now that he knew the truth. He felt sympathy
but the old distrust was hard to dissolve.

Someone had to make the first step, and it appeared it had to be him.
He smiled slightly. Well, maybe jumping over his own shadow could be done.

So he turned to the presence inside his mind. What he found was actually
no surprise, given the things that had happened, the truth that had been
unveiled.

Krad�s shields were down and he was completely exposed. One strike
from the sharp, agile mind and it would shatter him, tear deep wounds into
him.

"Krad,� he murmured.

There was a little gasp and golden eyes widened in fear. Their roles
were reversed, he mused. Years ago he had been cringing away from the c con contact. Now it was Krad.

"I won�t hurt you.�

"Leave me alone!� The voice was shaky, pleading, but some anger flared.

It was like a last defense.

"I can�t.�

Krad closed his eyes, shivering. "Then do what you want. I don�t care
anymore. Kill me if you want.� He spread his arms wide.

"No.� Satoshi looked calmly at him. "You said you care for me.� That
brought the demon up sharp. "Do you?�

Krad nodded. "Yes.�

"More than being your vessel, a potential body?�

Anger flared once more, briefly lending power to the entity. "You know
I don�t want this any more!�

"No, I don�t. You only said so. All you told me in the past were lies.�

"I always cared for you, Satoshi.�

"I suppose so. You cared for me because my body was promised to you
as a reward by my father. Your aim was to kill me.�

A tremor went through the demon.

Satoshi studied him, noticing how unraveled he looked, how desperate,
and a small part took a sick kind of pleasure from it. A much larger part
wanted to reach out and touch the hurting entity, soothe the pain.

"Is it true? What my family did?� he finally asked.

Krad�s face turned bland, the eyes darkening. "It�s gone. The past.
Forget it.�

"No, I won�t. So it�s true?�

Krad swallowed, turning away, avoiding his gaze.

"It�s true,� Satoshi murmured.

All the memories flooding him had been truly Krad�s. All that pain,
that loneliness...

"I understand.�

"No, you don�t!� Krad snapped, furious. "No one can! No one! Go back
to hating me, Hikari! I don�t want your pity! I don�t want his eitherll oll of you just... leave!� Satoshi came even closer, studying the slender
form. Krad looked like a cornered animal, desperate and without many options
left. "Leave...� the demon begged.

"I won�t.�

Wide, golden eyes stared at him and without warning, from one second
to the next, Krad struck out. Satoshi was easily able to counter the blow.
The demon was too weak, but he still managed to get a decent strike in.
Catching the wrist, he held on. A whimper escaped the once so nightmarish
creature.

"No...�

Flashes of past memories rushed past Satoshi, catching him in a whirlwind
of fear and desperation. His family had tortured this being for close to
three hundred years. Now Krad was so close to the edge, past and present
collided, Satoshi�s image overlapping with those of his prior tormentors,
as well as the only person who had been kind to him. The artist who had
created the Black Wings, the human who had truly loved him.

"Let go...� Krad begged, breaking apart under the pressure.

"No. We�re one, Krad. I won�t let you go.�

The golden eyes shone with agony. "Please...�

Satoshi wasn�t even aware of his actions at first as he pulled the
blond into his embrace, felt the very solid form fall against him, and
he closed his arms around the demon. The struggle was brief and then he
found himself with an armful of Krad, sinking to the ground, cradling the
surprisingly solid and heavy form. Satoshi ran a tentative hand over the
blond hair, felt the shivers, and for the first time a strange kind of
warmth blossomed.

It felt right. Strange, but right. Was this what Daisuke experienced
with Dark? Was this how it should be?

"I won�t hurt you, Krad,� he murmured.

The demon shivered more.

"I won�t.�

It was a promise. He wouldn�t fall into the trap of continuing what
his ancestors had done. He had to live with the result of their actions,
but he would make the best of it.

"I won�t,� he repeated.

Krad pushed back a little, those fascinating, cat-like eyes so open
and vulnerable as they looked at him. Satoshi smiled a little, touching
the pale face. Krad flinched violently and Satoshi sighed. This would
need work. He framed the demon�s face and d tod to radiate this promise.

I won�t hurt you. I know they did. I won�t. You hurt me in the past,
but this isn�t revenge. You�re not malevolent, just... jaded and damaged.

Krad closed his eyes, unable to meet his gaze. His shoulders fell and
he sagged. Satoshi cradled him close, crooning softly, and when tentative
arms curled around his waist, Satoshi smiled a little. Memories touched
him again, from very long ago. He felt the child-like amazement, the curiosity
of a new-born entity inside a human body. He felt the hesitancy of the
host, then the acceptance, the sheer joy and later love.

Satoshi�

Blue eyes widened. Krad�s first host had born his name, he had been
Hikari Satoshi, too. A young genius, an artist who had created so much
beauty�

"You loved him,� Satoshi whispered, realization finally coming through.

Krad didn�t reply, just lay there, seeking comfort.

"You loved your host.�

"He was mine,� the demon finally whispered, voice distant, full of
memories. "My host, my everything��

Things became clearer now. Those words�

Mine� You�re my everything�

Krad had said the same to Satoshi, but at that time their meaning had
been warped beyond their original interpretation.

He stroked over the soft hair, pushing a long strand away from the
pale, handsome face.

"Is that what you meant when you said it to me?�

Krad inhaled deeply. "I don�t know any more.�

"But you know you loved your original host?�

A nod. "He was truly everything to me.�

Satoshi forced the golden eyes to look at him. "You love me?�

"I don�t know what love is,� Krad confessed.

"Do you feel the same for me that you felt for the other? You claim
me as yours, that I�m everything to you��

"You are. I feel� something and� I see him.�

Satoshi smiled. "I�m honored.�

Krad stared at him. Hikari pulled the unresisting form into an embrace,
felt the weight settle against him.

Things made sense now. All his life made sense now, as did Krad�s declarations
of possessiveness. He didn�t know what love was, had only these feelings
of needing Satoshi, wanting him solely for himself, and he clung to him
with a vengeance that had stirred nothing but hatred and fear in the boy
he had been before.

We�ll get there. Together, he thought. We�ll find a way to sort this
out for you and for me.
*
He sat next to the curled up form, one hand resting on Krad�s shoulder.
The d see seemed more slender than normal, without his impressive wings,
the clothes so simple and plain. The golden eyes were closed, the pale
face relaxed in sleep, and he was as close to Satoshi as he dared.
Hikari stroked over the sleeping form, amazed how good it felt. Krad was
a warm weight in his soul, seeking contact, radiating such need, it stunned
him. This was so new... so unexpected...

"Sato?�

He looked up and blinked a little, detaching himself from the world
he shared with Krad to smile at his lover.

"You okay?� Daisuke asked.

"Yes. It�s... just...�

"Amazing?�

He nodded. "And somewhat disturbing. I never thought it could be like
this...�

Daisuke settled down beside him, smiling. "How is he?�

"Still weak and confused. About his emotions, about me, about everything.
I never thought about what his past might have been, Dai. I never believed
him to be anything like Dark...� He sighed. "Needs some time getting used
to; probably a lot of time.�

Daisuke pulled him close, kissing him, and the other man replied in
kind.

"But we have that time,� Niwa murmured when they finally parted.

Satoshi nodded. Deep inside he wanted this, wanted to get to know Krad,
wanted to start again.
* * *
The next few days Satoshi tried to pass off as normally as possible.
Krad was in the back of his mind, warmer and more solid than before, but
he didn�t really touch him unless Satoshi initiated it. Daisuke gave him
encouraging smiles, tried to help, but Satoshi knew it was his fight alone.
He and Krad had to work this out and it was slowly getting somewhere.

//You don�t have to stay in the back// Satoshi told him as he sat at
his laptop, working.

Krad shifted a little.

//It can�t be comfortable//

Satoshi wondered how Daisuke was doing it. Then again, his lover was
used to gentleness, to the other presence in his mind while Satoshi himself
had almost always felt oppressed, in pain, or had fought back. There
had been few occasions when the gentleness had been true, when the possessiveness
had not hurt.

He stopped his typing, leaned back against the chair and gazed sightlessly
at the computer screen. His attention was inward. Finally Satoshi
held out one hand in an invitation.

Krad blinked, wings whispering softly as they twitched. Satoshi
remained where he was, blue eyes fixed on golden ones, silent, the wordless
gesture saying it all. Krad came slowly closer, like a nervous animal.
Satoshi thought he saw the scars of the exorcisms burn brightly on the
slender form, the open wounds still existing from the chains that had bound
what his ancestors had called a monster. He had believed the same. He had
once thought that such a creature should have been killed at birth.

He had been so wrong.

Those chains still exist, Satoshi thought. Inside Krad�s mind.

Freedom was a foreign word for him. It had always been conditional.
Even when he had been with Satoshi. Satoshi�s stepfather had bound him
to himself with promises and sweet words.

Freedom.

Neither of them would ever be free. They were bound together but it
could be a partnership, not slavery.

//It can start now// he murmured, holding the startled eyes.

//Satoshi...?//

He grasped one slender wrist and Krad�s eyes widened. Wings rustled,
opening slightly.

//We can try. I�m willing to//

The demon inhaled sharply. //You... are...?//

Satoshi nodded. //Yes//

The wings twitched and he smiled, closing the last distance between
them. The last time he had been this close to Krad, he had to still look
up into the handsome face with its ethereal eyes. He had seen love there,
a love twisted and jaded until no one but Krad could call it that. He had
felt the other�s touch, the wings curling around his body, wanting him
close and yet unable to truly comprehend what that meant.

//Are you?// Satoshi asked.

Another twitch, then Krad�s free hand came up and oh so carefully cupped
Satoshi�s face in a gesture of affection.

//Yes, Satoshi, I am. I care for you//

There was nothing malicious in the tone now, no sultry promises, no
cold touch, no lies.

For the first time, Hikari Satoshi believed him.

//Hello// he said softly. //My name is Hikari Satoshi. I'm your host.
I'd like to be your partner and your friend//

Golden eyes looked at him, warm and accepting. //Hello, Satoshi. My
name is Krad. I'd like to be your partner and friend//

Satoshi felt the softness of the feathers underneath his hands as the
wings closed around him, encasing him in a gentle embrace. It wasn�t confinement,
only protection. He breathed deeply, letting himself fall, and he was caught
in strong arms and a strange kind of warmth. It wasn�t the warmth he felt
when he was with his lover. It was different, but not harsh or cold.

It didn�t hurt.

It was... nice.

Krad sought the warmth of Satoshi�s mind and soul, and Hikari, surprising
himself, let him. He recalled seeing Dark, cradling his other half, the
need of Krad to be close to a living, breathing soul.

He was that soul. He alone.

I won�t hurt you, Satoshi thought.

It was echoed in Krad�s emotions and he found himself smiling.
- 8
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