On the Street of Dreams

Chapter summary: Eiri got over his surprise and wrapped his hands around Shuichi’s waist. Willingly, he opened his mouth and allowed the boy to explore to his hearts content. He had a feeling he now had the answer to that question that has been hounding him all week.

***

Shuichi’s First Confession


Ryuichi stared out the passenger door window blankly, trying not to think. He felt drained, both mentally and physically. He also felt like a failure.

Ever since Nittle Grasper was signed six years ago, Ryuichi started noticing changes with Shuichi, but he tried his damnest to ignore them. He told himself that it was only because he had been away. Besides, Shuichi always reverted back rather quickly to his old self, but the boy had been acting strangely all day today. It was clear that he could no longer feign ignorance any more. He had to confront Shuichi.

Sighing, Ryuichi straightened and glanced at the sleeping, half naked teenage boy laying the back seat. “Tatsu, I really think we should take him to the hospital.”

Tatsuha glanced quickly in the rear view mirror at the boy sprawled out in the back of his car. “No, I think it’d be better to just get him home.”

Ryuichi studied his boyfriend carefully. He had a sneaking suspicion that Tatsuha knew more than he was saying.

As Tatsuha pulled into the underground garage of their plushy apartment building, Ryuichi turned around and studied his brother.

The boy seemed to be unharmed but looks could be deceiving. Shuichi had somehow lost his shirt and shoes. His bag he always carried was also gone. The only thing he was wearing was a pair of leather pants that were hanging suspiciously low on his hips, the fly open. The way he had staggered into the street and the state of his dress, or rather, lack there of, made him suspect that his brother may have been attacked, but one whiff at the boy who had fallen unconscious right in front of their jeep and Ryuichi knew. His sixteen year old brother had drunk himself into a stupor.

As Ryuichi carried his brother to the elevator with Tatsuha besides him, he could not help but think that this was his fault.

*

Violet eyes that felt as if they were being weighted down by boulders fluttered open. The light streaming in through the open window burned his retinas. Cursing, he turned his head away and curled onto his side with a small groan, squeezing his eyes closed. He pulled the sheet blindly over him, burying himself in a mound of blankets. He wrapped his arms around his middle as a sudden sharp jolt raced through his head and his stomach churned and tied itself in knots.

With a sudden moan, Shuichi covered is mouth and flew up in bed. Flinging aside the sheets, he stumbled out of bed and staggered across the hall to the bathroom. He fell to his knees and hung his head over the porcelain bowl just in time.

*

The sound of retching echoed through the apartment.

Ryuichi sat in his pink pajama pants at his computer playing around with a sound mixer program trying to work on a song he had written while on tour. He looked up and sighed. His elbows resting on either side of the keyboard, he buried his face in his hands.

A steaming cup of tea in his hands, Tatsuha appeared in the threshold of the den/office. Leaning against the doorframe, he gazed over his shoulder towards the toilet. “Sounds like Shu’s up,” he informed his boyfriend unnecessarily.

Ryuichi sighed and leaned his head back.

“Are you going to talk to him?”

“Yeah,” Ryuichi said, distractedly.

Tatsuha stared at his lover with an amused smiled as the singer continued to sit in his desk chair, staring blankly at the ceiling. “Ryu,” he chuckled.

Ryuichi turned his head so that his cheek was resting on the back of the chair and glanced at the other male.

Tatsuha chuckled again and walked into the room. He set his cup down on the desk and rested his free hands on Ryu’s shoulders. He kissed the top of his head. “Do you want me to do it?” he asked quietly.

“No, I’ll do it,” Ryuichi sighed. He patted Tatsuha’s hands and pushed away from the desk, walking out of the den.

“Good luck,” Tatsuha said quietly.

*

Shuichi had no idea how long he sat hunched over the toilet bowl. He felt like shit. His head was pounding like someone was jack hammering inside his skull. His stomach felt like he had left it behind when he flew over that last hill. It felt like he was being cooked from the inside out. If he moved even the slightest, the room began spinning and his stomach heaved.

He heard footsteps coming towards him but could not summon enough energy or strength to even pry open an eye to see who it was.

“Shuichi.”

Shuichi grunted and cowered away from the shouting as each word intensified the already dull pounding in his head. “Please…don’t…shout,” he told his brother barely whispering.

Ryuichi sighed. He had a feeling his brother was not going to touch another alcoholic drink for some time. He walked into the bathroom and squatted down besides him, handing him a wet wash cloth.

Trembling, Shuichi took it gratefully and wiped his face, feeling the warmth of the cloth against his clammy skin.

“Here,” Ryuichi said, exchanging the rag for a cup of water and an aspirin. “Rinse out your mouth and take this for your headache.”

Shuichi did as he was told, feeling a little better. He leaned his forehead against the side of the toilet, resting his eyes, as his stomach began to settle back down.

“C’mon, Shu.” Ryuichi wrapped his arms around Shuichi’s waist and helped him to his feet. “Let’s get you to bed.”

Sighing, Ryu carried his brother down the hall and back into the spare bedroom, passing Tatsuha who was standing in the doorway leading into the living room, still sipping tea. Gently, Ryuichi set Shuichi onto the bed and watched as the boy immediately curled into a fetal position, his back to him. He blindly reached out and pulled the covers over him until the only thing that could be seen was the top of his pink spiky head.

Ryuichi glanced behind him as a noise drew his attention and saw Tatsuha standing in the doorway. When their eyes met, Tatsuha smiled and nodded, telling him without words that Ryuichi could do this. Turning back around, Ryuichi took a deep breath, steeling himself. “Shuichi, we need to talk,” he ordered more harshly than he had intended.

Shuichi, entombed in the middle of the bed groaned in protest. All he wanted to do was go to sleep. Talking took too much energy, so did listening and he had no energy to spare for such a useless cause. To do either one meant he had to concentrate and that meant he had to pay attention, but right at the moment his brain felt too much like a bowl of mush. “No wanna,” he whined.

“Shuichi,” Ryuichi scolded. He grabbed the blankets covering the boy and yanked them, tossing them off the bed and onto the floor as his brother yelped in surprise and sprang around, his bright violet eyes staring around him incredibly. For the first time, Shuichi realized where he was, or rather where he was not. His heart sank and a heavy weight settled on his shoulders. He had been hoping it had all been a bad dream.

“Morning Sunshine,” came a mocking voice.

Shuichi felt his heart skip a beat. With wide eyes, he looked towards the bedroom doorway, hoping against hope…and frowned, swallowing over a lump in his throat. He blinked stinging eyes and inhaled shakily. He looked away, trying to block out just how much like Eiri Tatsuha was.

He still had no idea what he was going to do about the whole thing with NG and his writer lover.

It was Tatsuha’s turn to frown deep in thought. If he had any lingering doubt about his brother’s involvement with Shuichi, it vanished real quickly in that instant.

“You brought me here,” Shuichi said to nobody in particularly.

“We did,” Ryu answered. “After you staggered out in the middle of oncoming traffic and collapsed right in front of the car.”

Shuichi nodded slowly, blinking away the sudden unsought of tears. His throat constricted over a threatening sob as he remembered all too clearly, why he had nearly been killed.

“You’ve been asleep since we brought you here yesterday evening.”

Shuichi said nothing. He frowned heavily into his lap. The silence stretched like a worn rubber band, fraying and ready to break and snap your innocently waiting fingers.

Feeling his impatience growing by the second, Ryuichi was the first to break. “How long?” he asked. When his brother’s only answer was a blank stare at the bed, he growled with annoyance and slammed his hands onto the mattress, startling Shuichi who blinked and gasped, bouncing once. Ryuichi was stunned when Shuichi looked at him with tears running down his face. He blinked and stood up, glancing quickly at Tatsuha, in confusion. “Shuichi? What-“

With a sob, the teen threw himself at his brother, wrapping thin arms around his waist and burying his face in Ryuichi’s stomach. Ryuichi hugged the boy, petting his hair. Shuichi’s tiny frame shook violently as he sobbed loudly, crocodile tears rolling like a broken dam down his face. Ryuichi exchanged a look with Tatsuha. He had no idea what to do. This was the first time he had ever seen his brother cry.

*

An hour later, Ryuichi and Tatsuha were in the living room speaking quietly when the door creaked open. They stopped talking and looked up as Shuichi shuffled into the living room wearing a pair of Ryuichi’s jeans and a shirt of Tatsuha’s that fit him like a dress. His unnatural pink hair was damp from the shower and appeared a couple shades darker.

Shuichi crept silently into the nearest chair and scrunched into a tight ball, wrapping his arms around his legs and resting his cheek on his knees.

Ryuichi glanced at Tatsuha, feeling like a snake for doing this to his brother when it was obvious he was in pain, but that was why he had to do it. He slid to the edge of the couch and clasped his hands between his knees. He stared at the carpet briefly, gathering his thoughts. Lifting his head, he opened his mouth to speak but before he could, Shuichi started laughing. It was not a happy giggle. More like an indication that the boy was completely losing it. He looked at Tatsuha, startled. “Shu-“

“You know, I never belonged,” Shuichi sniffed. He was half laughing and half crying. It felt like he was going insane, literally losing his mind. “Only when I was lying to them did I fit in. I was normal then, but I was lying, hiding behind a false façade. I was always afraid that someday, somehow, the truth would come out and I was afraid of what would happen when it did.

“But still, I had some place to call home. People, who liked me, joked and laughed with me. They accepted me. They loved me, wanted me.” Shuichi turned a wet face towards his brother and Tatsuha, laughing. “I had to make some compromises, do things that…that…” His voice broke and fresh tears gushed down his cheeks. He turned his head to stare out the window at the late morning Kyoto skyline. He looked at it but did not see it. “To think that I would rather let them do whatever they wanted to me then go back to…That House,” he said bitterly.

Ryuichi’s eyes widened in shock and disbelief. He did not like what he was hearing.

“When did it start?” Tatsuha asked, being careful to keep his voice non-chalant.

Shuichi was silent for such a long time that both Tatsuha and Ryuichi thought he was not going to answer.

“I never had anybody,” Shuichi finally said. “My father hates me. Maiko is indifferent. Mom never…she doesn’t really care, not as much as she should, not like she used to when I was little.” He laughed, wiping futily at tears that continued to seep down his face.

He had nobody? Ryuichi could not fathom that logic. What did that mean? He had no one? What about me, he asked his brother silently.

Tatsuha shook his head. He leaned forward and studied the younger man. He voiced his partner’s thoughts. “That’s not true. You have Ryu and me and-“

Shuichi shook his head.

“Shuichi, we all care about you! We love you, appreciate you, and want you! You don’t have to hide or lie about who you are or aren’t.”

Shuichi shook his head vigorously. “It’s…” It was not the same. What was that saying, blood is thicker than water? As much as he cared about the others, it just…some how it did not make up for what he lost. And hanging out with a bunch of pervs did, his mind shot back.

“I know you’ve not had the best childhood, but you aren’t alone! You have us-!”

“It’s not the same!” Shuichi yelled, crying.

“How?” Ryuichi asked softly.

“You were never there!”

Ryuichi gasped. He did not know what to say to that. He had always felt bad for leaving Shuichi for weeks and even months at a time, especially when he knew how the boy was treated, but by then, Hiro and Fujisaki had come into the picture. The three of them started their own band. Everything seemed fine.

“And when you were…you just made things worse!” Shuichi sniffed, wiping his cheeks with a sob.

That surprised Ryuichi. “Worse?”

“Always there to defend me! Always beating up the people who made fun of me, or said things…You made my condition even more evident! You slapped it in their faces! And I hared you for that! But when you weren’t there anymore…I felt…I felt…” He was not sure how that made him feel. Vulnerable? Like he had a target on his back? Open and exposed? Maybe. Probably. Definitely. “I threw myself into Bad Luck, trying to bury how unhappy I was, how miserable I was,” he sobbed. “And it worked…for a little bit. Then…

“Last year I met Kizou. He approached me in the bathroom after our gig.” Shuichi laughed, remembering. “He said he could tell how unhappy I was and that he had something that would be able to help, something to turn my frown upside down.”

*

Shuichi sat huddled in the armchair, his face drenched and saturated with the deluge of never ending tears. Once again, his cheek was resting on his knees, but his eyes stared almost lifelessly out the living room window. His mind was numb. He did not want to think anymore. He just wanted to forget everything, especially the fact that one place he had thought of as home was now off limits. Now he had nowhere to go.

He knew Ryuichi and Tatsuha cared about him and that he was always welcomed here, but there was no way they would appreciate a sixteen year old school drop out ex-prostitute living with them. He knew that Ryuichi thought of him almost like a son, but that did not mean that he was willing to take on that role full time.

Ryuichi and Tatsuha sat in stunned silence. Neither knew what to say or think. Both had been suspicious and a little worried about what Shuichi has been doing lately, but neither ever thought…Ryuichi shook his head violently. He did not want to even go there.

He slid to the edge of the couch, licking his lips and rubbing his hands together. Running his fingers through his hair, he stared at his feet. With a sigh, he leaned back, resting his head on the back of the couch. He felt antsy. This news had unsettled him and disturbed him greatly.

He could not even look at Shuichi anymore. It was like, how you never notice that fat mole on your companion’s cheek until someone points it out and now that is all you can see. His view of his brother had been tainted and he was not sure if he would ever get it back.

Besides him, Tatsuha sat quietly, looking at the boy. He felt bad for him and a little guilty. Ryuichi had entrusted him with the protection and care of his brother and he had shrugged it off. He always told Ryuichi that he was too over protective and too much of a worry wart. Shuichi was a big boy and could take care of himself. What an idiot he had been!

Ryuichi could not take it anymore. His anger could not be contained any longer. Jumping up, he paced the living room in a cloud of fury. He was made at himself for allowing this to happen, at Shuichi for being such an idiot and at society for pushing his brother into sinking this low. “I’m very disappointed in you, Shuichi,” Ryuichi bit harshly.

Fresh tears spilled down Shuichi’s face. “I’m-“

“Oh, no,” Ryuichi shook his head in annoyance. “Don’t go there, Shuichi Shindou! Don’t you even try to apologize!”

Shuichi shot his brother a death glare. “I’m not! I’m not sorry for what I did!”

“What? I can’t believe you! You’re only sixteen fucking years old and you’re telling me that you’re already a druggie, an alcoholic and…and whoring yourself out and you enjoy doing it?” He stomped towards his brother and leaned towards him, an arm on either arm rest, barricading him in the chair. “What the fuck are you thinking?”

What was he thinking? The same thing he was still thinking. That he could lose himself, pretend he was someone else. Reality took a back seat. But all that was over thanks to his big mouth.

Shuichi buried his face in his hands and sobbed, his shoulders shaking. Why had he said that? Why had he opened his big mouth? Why? Why? Why? God, if he had not let that asshole Taki get to him, he would not have had that beer and gotten himself drunk. Then he would not have blabbed about Eiri and…Why the bloody hell had he said something about having a baby? Yes, it was a possibility for him to get pregnant, but if he had not discovered a bun in the oven yet- and God knows he had run the risk this past year- there was no way that a one night stand with Tatsuha’s drop dead gorgeous twin brother would wind up with him pregnant…right?

But, the idea of a baby did not sound half bad. Maybe…maybe things would be different if he were to have a baby.

“Stop it!” Ryuichi snapped angrily in Shuichi’s face. “Stop crying,” his voce cracked, tears filling his eyes. “Dammit, Shuichi! What the hell’s wrong with you?” he sobbed. The older male dropped to his knees and hugged his brother tightly, forcing Shuichi to drop his legs. Ryuichi pulled away and held Shuichi at arms length. “At least tell me that you used some sort of protection.”

Shuichi glanced away from his brother’s penetrating stare, for the first time feeling guilty.

With tears streaming down his face, Ryuichi stared intently into his brother’s dull violet eyes. “How can you be so stupid?”

Shuichi’s face contorted in anger. He pushed Ryuichi roughly, causing him to stumble and fall backwards. Shuichi jumped to his feet and glared through tear blurred vision at his brother. “I’m so sorry for being so stupid! You don’t have to worry about me doing something stupid like that again because I can’t…ever…go…back!”

Regaining himself, Ryuichi jumped to his feet. “You’re damn right you aren’t going back there!”

Tatsuha stood up from the couch and walked over to the siblings. Laying a hand on his lover’s shoulders, he turned towards Shuichi and asked, “Can’t or won’t?”

Shuichi turned his head away. “Kizou told me to leave and never return,” he admitted truthfully. Tears slowly trailed down Shuichi’s face as he remembered what happened the day before.

“Why?” Tatsuha ignored the glare his boyfriend threw him.

In Ryuichi’s mind, as long as his brother was not going back to that way of life, who the hell cares what the reason was?

“I thought you were…” He could not bring himself to say it. It was like knowing your parents or even you grandparents did indeed have a sex life. He shuddered at the thought.

“The boss’s concubine?” Shuichi laughed. He scrubbed his face. “I was, but he…he said I was a freak!”

“Shuichi…”

Ryuichi gazed piteously at his brother. “Shu…why do you care so much about people who only like you because you deceive them when you have people who love you for who you are?” He strode slowly towards Shuichi and engulfed him in a hug. “We love you. Why can’t you be satisfied with that?”

Shuichi pushed away from his brother and stared deeply into his eyes, pleading with him to understand. “Because I need something, someone for me!”

A flash of his forbidden blond haired lover popped in his head. A warm glow spread through him, chasing away the chills. His tears dried up and a sparkle livened the dead, dull look in his eyes. “And I did,” Shuichi continued with a soft smile.

The only problem was that, like with Kizou, he had kept a vital piece of information from Eiri. There was no telling what the older man would do if he found out the truth. Would Eiri accept him even though he was a freak? Could the man truly say that he cared for him because of who he was and not because of what he was, or was not? Or would he be kicked to the corner along with the trash without a second look? All he had to do was make sure it never came up. It should not be that hard…right?

He grimaced when he remembered the disastrous events of the day before. All he had to do was not drink and his secret would stay just that, but there was another way for his secret to come up. But that was easily taken care of as well. Sort of. All he needed was his parent’s permission…

Once those problems were settled, there was still the question of what to do with Tohma moving the record company to Tokyo. Would Eiri want to leave everything and everyone behind just so he could move to Tokyo to be with his forbidden lover? He wanted this so bad he could taste it. He wanted to be with Eiri, screw the law and everybody else, but he also wanted this recording contract. Could he have both? Was it possible?

A smile graced Ryuichi’s face. “I’m glad.”

Shuichi blinked, snapping out of his thoughts. “Huh?”

Ryuichi pulled his brother into a hug. “I’m glad you found someone, Shu. But promise me you won’t do anything stupid, okay? You’re only sixteen years old and still a kid. Go out there and be one. You have the opportunity to be big, Shu.” Ryuichi pulled away slightly and stared intently into his brother’s vibrant eyes. “Don’t do anything to jeopardize that, okay? Promise me.”

Shuichi smile faltered slightly. He was not sure if he could promise his brother that.

Tatsuha stepped forward, saving him from having to answer Ryuichi. “Shu, this person, he wouldn’t be…”

Shuichi gulped, suddenly nervous. Had Tatsuha discovered that he was in love with his brother, a man not only six years his senior but someone that could get be arrested for statutory rape if caught?

“…the reason you can’t go back is it?”

Shuichi gave a deep sigh of relief. He did not know. Thank god. “Actually…it is,” he admitted with a blush.

He pulled away from his brother and walked to the large window, passing a bamboo shelving unit that was half full of stuffed animals that fans had given to Ryuichi. Center stage was a large, fluffy pink bunny that his number one fan had given him the day Nittle Grasper was singed. Ryuichi called him Kumagoro. Go figure.

“I let one of the guys get to me. I ended up getting drunk and said something I should not have to Kizou. He got angry and tossed me out.” Shuichi hoped that neither one of the men asked what it was they argued about. If Ryuichi had been angry before, he would literally explode if he were to know about his suspicions. He turned back around and smiled at them. “But really, he did me a favor. Yes, I hate myself for getting kicked out the one place I could call home, but…I found something, someone much better.” As long as someone loves me, he thought.

Ryuichi smiled back at the teenager. He was happy for him. Maybe things were starting to look up.

He crossed the room and hugged his brother from behind. “You can stay here as long as you like.”

Shuichi blinked. He pulled away from Ryu and turned to look at him in shock. “Really?”

“Really,” Tatsuha said.

Shuichi glanced at the Eiri clone and then at his brother. Tears gathered in his eyes. He flung himself at his brother, hugging him tightly. “Thank you.” He pulled away and glanced at the elder man uncertainly. “I won’t be in the way? Or-“

Ryuichi shook his head. “We want you here, Shu. We’re family. I won’t turn you out.” He enveloped his brother in another hug. “But you will have to pull your wait around here, alright? You can’t just disappear whenever you like and stay out all night like you used to, alright?”

The pink haired singer nodded enthusiastically. He had a feeling his brother was going to be just as stifling, or maybe even more so, than normal, but strangely, Shuichi did not mind.

As long as someone loves me, he thought again.

One Week Later


Tatsuha pulled up to the Miharu Kissaten located in a ritzy, glamorous section of Kyoto. It was like the Japanese equivalent of Beverly Hills. With the plushy hotels, designer name clothing stores and restaurants only millionaires could afford.

The Miharu Kissaten was an elegant, formal restaurant where the main course consisted of a bite sized piece of food for more money then an average middle class family of four made in a year. Most of the employees were brought in from outside the country so the place seemed more exotic than it actually was. The waiting list to just be able to sit at the bar was two years. But this was the place to see and be seen.

How Tohma Seguchi was able to reserve a table for eleven on one of the busiest nights of the week only a week in advance, was something to truly marvel at. It also showed just how much of a name the keyboardist was making for himself.

Tatsuha, Ryuichi and Shuichi piled out of the jeep and headed into the restaurant. A valet took the keys from Tatsuha and went to park the car.

Shuichi had never been so nervous in his entire life. It felt as if a bunch of butterflies were fluttering around inside his stomach. He also felt slightly lightheaded and was a little clammy. Either he had a bad case of stage fright or he was getting sick. He hoped it was first, because the latter would just plain suck.

Tatsuha walked up to the hostess and announced what party they were with. The woman gave them a quick once over and escorted them through the dimly lit bar and out into the dining room to a large table in the far corner hidden by free standing shoji doors and trellises.

“You’re waitress will be right with you,” the tall skinny red head told them with a thick accent and a small bow. She turned and returned to her post.

They were the first ones to arrive. Tatsuha and Ryuichi sat on the far side of the table, opposite the entrance way. Shuichi sat besides his brother, feeling even more nauseous than before. His stomach continued to churn. He took deep, even breathes in order to calm himself down. To take his mind off of how horrible he was feeling Shuichi studied the restaurant.

The restaurant was a decent sized place. The dining floor had enough seating for the establishment to appear full but still able to give each table enough privacy so you could speak about whatever you wanted without running the risk of having your neighbor eavesdropping.

Each table had a softly glowing candle and a single flower.

The place was full but there was only a low din, like everyone was whispering.

Shuichi looked up and saw two tall males heading towards them. A smile brightened his face. He pushed to his feet, bouncing slightly as his best friend stopped by the table. “Hiro,” he cried happily.

At his cry, Ryuichi and Tatsuha looked up and spotted the newcomers approaching their table.

Shuichi rounded the table and flung himself at the taller teenager. “It’s so good to see you!”

Surprised, Hiro staggered backwards. Regaining his balance, he patted his friends back. “Hey, Shuichi.” Hiro pulled away from the human leech and turned towards the other male accompanying him. He introduced him to the others as his brother, Yuji.

Shuichi caught sight of another familiar face and excused himself. He smiled widely as he approached Suguru who was just arriving with his parents. He flung himself at the smaller man. Caught off guard, Suguru blinked, his hands at his side, unsure what to do. Suguru pulled away and stepped aside. He swept his hand at the older couple behind him. “Shuichi, these are my parents. Mom, Dad, this is Shuichi Shindou. He’s the lead singer of Bad Luck.”

The elder Fujisaki nodded.

Shuichi bowed politely back. “Pleasure to meet you, Sir.”

Suguru caught sight of Hiro over Shuichi’s shoulder and excused himself, steering his parents over towards the others.

Shuichi turned and studied the group with a smile. Bad Luck had taken a much needed break since they won the battle of the bands last weekend and Shuichi was eager to get tonight over with and get back into the studio. It would also be the first time seeing his parents in about two weeks. Not surprisingly, he was not that eager to see them.

He had to admit, the one thing he enjoyed about not living at Kizou’s place was the fact that he could sleep peacefully without wondering if he was going to wake up with someone’s hands down his pants, or something. He liked not having to worry about tiptoeing around. In the week he has been living at his brother’s house, he has, surprisingly, felt better than he has in a very long time.

The only thing that still bothered him was whether he would ever see Eiri again and if he would be snubbed or not. Would Eiri pretend their one night of pleasure never happened? Or would he smile and take him into his arms? The thought of his blond haired lover tossing him on the streets left him cold. The thought of approaching him to discover which path the writer would take sent his stomach into a nervous twitch.

Shuichi swallowed back a groan and wrapped his arms about his middle as his stomach churned. Suddenly bile filled Shuichi’s mouth like a leaky faucet. He swallowed continuously as he felt lightheaded once again. He took deep, even breathes and placed a hand on his forehead.

“Hey, Shuichi, you look kinda pale. Are you feeling alright?” asked a sudden voice from besides him.

Shuichi opened eyes he did not remember closing and dropped his arms. He forced himself to smile at Hiro. “Fine,” he nodded. “Just a little nervous.”

Hiro squinted suspiciously at is friend.

Suddenly, Shuichi felt his lunch regurgitate. Slapping a hand over his mouth, he raced across the dining room, through the bar and vanished out into the foyer.

Hiro frowned after his green friend. He looked up and saw Suguru approaching, a questioning expression on his face.

“What’s wrong with him?” the keyboardist asked.

“No idea,” Hiro said truthfully.

*

Shuichi flung open the bathroom door, hearing it crash into the wall with a loud thud and veered into the nearest stall. He collapsed to his knees, not bothering to lock the stall door and emptied the contents of his stomach.

A man standing by the sink, washing his hands, lifted his head and squinted at the boy’s hunched form in the mirror. A disgusted sneer curled his lips. The kid’s heaves echoed in the pristine bathroom. Disgusting, he thought to himself.

Shuichi spit into the toilet and sat back, resting his back against the side of the stall, closing his eyes. He heard the auto flush get rid of all evidence of his upset stomach. He placed a shaking hand over his stomach as it continued to flip.

Sighing, he slowly stood up and walked shakily to the sink. He placed his hands under the faucet and almost immediately, the water came on. He splashed water on his face and then using his cupped hands as a bowl, rinsed out his mouth. Splashing his face once more, he lifted his head and gazed at his expression in the mirror, water dripping from his chin.

He blinked when a hand holding a white round object suddenly thrust in front of his face. Straightening, he stepped back, bringing the pill into focus. He took it and turned to see who was being so generous.

“You should carry mints if you have such a weak stomach,” informed a deep voice.

Shuichi tensed. Slowly he raised his head and came face to face with the most gorgeous and exotic golden hazel eyes he had ever seen in his life, eyes that had haunted him for the past week. His breath caught and his heart skipped a beat. With a mind gone blank and a mouth that felt like it was full of cotton, Shuichi could only gap at the man.

Eiri gave the boy a once over, secretly applauding his dinner attire. Shuichi was wearing a pair of nice, straight lined black suit pants with a matching jacket and tie over a light, dusty blue button down shirt.

He raised an eyebrow in amusement as he noticed how tongue tied his little lover was. With a smirk, he gave into temptation and traced a droplet of water down the boy’s cheek with a finger.

Shuichi sighed, tilting his head into the warm touch of Eiri’s hand. He gulped, his heart racing as his love leaned forward. A blush flushed his face as Eiri’s warm breath caressed his cheek. “You should dry your face,” Eiri whispered, causing the boy to shiver. With a self-satisfied smile, the writer patted Shuichi shoulder as he walked out of the bathroom.

Shuichi stood frozen, rooted in place, hearing the man who had stolen his heart walk out on him once again. His mind screamed for him to chase after him, to not let him go! His heart ached at the thought of finally getting this close to the man of his dreams only to let him slip through his fingers.

Afraid he might never get this chance again; Shuichi turned on his heel and tore out of the bathroom. Panting and feeling a surge of panic race through him, he stood just inside the bar and scanned the patrons.

“Excuse me, Sir? Is everything okay?” asked a heavily accented male voice from behind him.

Shuichi turned towards a man who looked like he was a waiter. “Yes, I’m looking for a tall blond man. Did he come this way?”

The waiter nodded. “Of course, Sir. He just left.” He pointed out the front door.

“Thank you,” Shuichi cried as he tore through the foyer and out into the parking lot. He scanned the lot and spotted Eiri just as the older man reached his car. With a renewed burst of energy, Shuichi raced across the parking lot. “Eiri! Eiri! Wait! Please, stop!”

Eiri pressed the car fob and heard the low beep as the car lights blinked, unlocking the car. He opened the car door and started to slip inside when he heard a familiar voice calling out to him. Half in and half out of the car, Eiri glanced over his shoulder and saw a blur of color speeding towards him. Stepping out of the car, Eiri took a step forward and suddenly found an extra hundred pound strapped around his waist.

Shuichi stood up on his tip-toes and cradled Eiri’s face with his hands. He kissed the older man roughly. Running his tongue along his bottom lip, he asked for permission to deepen it.

Eiri got over his surprise and wrapped his hands around Shuichi’s waist. Willingly, he opened his mouth and allowed the boy to explore to his hearts content. He had a feeling he now had the answer to that question that has been hounding him all week.

***