The Price I Pay Yuki/Shuuichi
folder
Gravitation › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
14
Views:
4,200
Reviews:
5
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Gravitation › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
14
Views:
4,200
Reviews:
5
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Gravitation, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Chapter Nine
The Price I Pay: Yuki/Shuuichi Version:
Chapter Nine:
Yuki awoke in a hospital bed, wrist bandaged, eyes squinting from the light from the window.
“Huh….” He turned his face away from the light, vision blurred as he struggled to make sense of his surroundings.
“Yuki, you’re awake. Thank god.” Shuuichi’s voice greeted him and he felt his lover hold onto his arm. “I was so worried.”
“Shuu….” Yuki stared at his pink-haired lover dazedly, struggling to recall what happened when he saw the bandage on his wrist. ‘God…what did I….shit!’ His memories of what happened flashed through his thoughts, his recollection clearer now than at the time of the incident.
Suddenly Shuuichi hugged him, tightly, tears streaming down his face.
“Yuki…I was so worried…you…the knife…I couldn’t….Yuki….” The pink-haired man buried his face in the older man’s chest, “Why did…was it because of me? Yuki…why…did you…?”
A sickening feeling pervading through him, Yuki closed his eyes and just held his younger lover close. ‘God, how do I tell him I didn’t even know what I was doing at the time? I…god, of all the times….’ The blond sighed, remembering more about the dissociative state he was in when he slit his wrist—it was a state he was familiar with; a state that marked the beginning of the split-personality disorder he suffered from after first meeting the pink-haired brat.
‘First I find out I have HIV, and now I’m going mental again? And it’s worse than last time…I tried to kill my…god!’
“Yuki…? Why did you? Why…? Yuki?” Shuuichi looked up into the author’s eyes, vision partly blurry from tears. “Was it because of me? I’m sorry, Yuki…Yuki?”
‘I didn’t mean to…I….’
“Yuki?” Shuuichi’s voice irritated the blond who struggled with the frustration of that and his own thoughts. “Did I….”
“Of course it’s because of you, you brat!” Yuki snapped, head pounding, insides shaking. “For the past weeks I had to listen to you complain about you, you, you. Never once did you think anything about me going through the same fucking thing!”
“Yuki, I….”
“I kept silent all those weeks, and you kept complaining—refusing to take your medicine, and never once thinking about anything about anyone else. Not thinking how I feel for causing you to get sick—how I feel each time you don’t take your medicine—How I worry each day if you’ll get sick and die and realizing it’d be my fault if you do! YOU NEVER THOUGHT OF ANY OF THAT!”
‘God…if you die Shuu, I’d feel like a murderer again….’
“Yuki, I’m sorry….” Shuuichi felt new tears slide down his face. “I’m sorry.”
‘Murderer…I’d…no….’ Yuki felt himself shake as memories he thought he’d banished from his mind swam through to the forefront of his thoughts.
“Yuki? Yuki, what’s wrong? You’re shaking, what’s…?” Shuuichi’s annoying voice turned worried, and he gasped when he saw the tears welling in his lover’s eyes.
“I…I’m sorry…I…I can’t help thinking about…if you die….I’d be….a murderer again…I can’t….”
“Yuki…Yuki, it’s not your fault, don’t even think that….”
A/N: End chapter
Chapter Nine:
Yuki awoke in a hospital bed, wrist bandaged, eyes squinting from the light from the window.
“Huh….” He turned his face away from the light, vision blurred as he struggled to make sense of his surroundings.
“Yuki, you’re awake. Thank god.” Shuuichi’s voice greeted him and he felt his lover hold onto his arm. “I was so worried.”
“Shuu….” Yuki stared at his pink-haired lover dazedly, struggling to recall what happened when he saw the bandage on his wrist. ‘God…what did I….shit!’ His memories of what happened flashed through his thoughts, his recollection clearer now than at the time of the incident.
Suddenly Shuuichi hugged him, tightly, tears streaming down his face.
“Yuki…I was so worried…you…the knife…I couldn’t….Yuki….” The pink-haired man buried his face in the older man’s chest, “Why did…was it because of me? Yuki…why…did you…?”
A sickening feeling pervading through him, Yuki closed his eyes and just held his younger lover close. ‘God, how do I tell him I didn’t even know what I was doing at the time? I…god, of all the times….’ The blond sighed, remembering more about the dissociative state he was in when he slit his wrist—it was a state he was familiar with; a state that marked the beginning of the split-personality disorder he suffered from after first meeting the pink-haired brat.
‘First I find out I have HIV, and now I’m going mental again? And it’s worse than last time…I tried to kill my…god!’
“Yuki…? Why did you? Why…? Yuki?” Shuuichi looked up into the author’s eyes, vision partly blurry from tears. “Was it because of me? I’m sorry, Yuki…Yuki?”
‘I didn’t mean to…I….’
“Yuki?” Shuuichi’s voice irritated the blond who struggled with the frustration of that and his own thoughts. “Did I….”
“Of course it’s because of you, you brat!” Yuki snapped, head pounding, insides shaking. “For the past weeks I had to listen to you complain about you, you, you. Never once did you think anything about me going through the same fucking thing!”
“Yuki, I….”
“I kept silent all those weeks, and you kept complaining—refusing to take your medicine, and never once thinking about anything about anyone else. Not thinking how I feel for causing you to get sick—how I feel each time you don’t take your medicine—How I worry each day if you’ll get sick and die and realizing it’d be my fault if you do! YOU NEVER THOUGHT OF ANY OF THAT!”
‘God…if you die Shuu, I’d feel like a murderer again….’
“Yuki, I’m sorry….” Shuuichi felt new tears slide down his face. “I’m sorry.”
‘Murderer…I’d…no….’ Yuki felt himself shake as memories he thought he’d banished from his mind swam through to the forefront of his thoughts.
“Yuki? Yuki, what’s wrong? You’re shaking, what’s…?” Shuuichi’s annoying voice turned worried, and he gasped when he saw the tears welling in his lover’s eyes.
“I…I’m sorry…I…I can’t help thinking about…if you die….I’d be….a murderer again…I can’t….”
“Yuki…Yuki, it’s not your fault, don’t even think that….”
A/N: End chapter