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Changing Fate Series 3: The Legend Reborn	By : ctsama Category: +. to F > Fushigi Yuugi Views: 2243 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Fushigi Yuugi, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 8
- 9
- 10
I do aims ta please!�
Some Tama and Tas TLC comin� right up!��
(^o^)/

Ch. 9 � Out of the Dark

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Tamahome awoke near dawn, wondering why the bed was so
cold.� He reached over for Tasuki, but
his hand found nothing there.� Alarmed,
he shot out of bed as fast as he could.�
�Tasuki!�� Where the hell did he
go?�

He tried calling out over their bond, but there was no
answer.� Tasuki was there, but it was
like he just wasn�t paying attention.�
So instead, he followed Tasuki�s presence through the quiet palace.� He ended up at the Suzaku ceremonial
baths.� The path led to the same
waterfall Miaka had used to bathe before their failed attempt to summon Suzaku.

Tasuki sat under the rocky waterfall naked, letting the
water pour over his shoulders and down his back.� He was curled in on himself with his arms wrapped around his legs
and his forehead resting on his knees.�
It was then that Tamahome remembered what Tasuki had told him after he
got away from the temple: that he was dirty.

He skimmed out of his pants and let them fall to the ground
next to Tasuki�s before splashing into the water as well.� It was only an inch or two deep, at most.� He knelt in the shallow water in front of
his wayward lover, calling him softly.�
�Tas?�

After a few seconds, Tasuki lifted his head.� His face was wet.� Whether it from the water or from crying, Tamahome didn�t know,
but he suspected it was both.� And his
eyes were so� dull.� Haunted.

Tamahome frowned.�
�How long have you been in here?�

Tasuki just shrugged, indifferent.

Tamahome started to reach out to Tasuki, but he flinched and
lowered his eyes again.� Remembering
what happened when Mitsukake touched him when he was unconscious, Tamahome held
himself back from trying again, even though it was killing him to do so.� �What did Nakago do to you in there, Tas?�

�Ya don�t need ta know,� Tasuki said, his voice rough with
disuse.� �Let it go.� It�s over now.�

�If it�s over, then why are you sitting in here?�� Tasuki just looked away.� �Whatever it was, it was big, and it�s not
just going to go away.� Show me what
happened.� Let me help you.�

::�If I do, I�m gonna lose you.::

::You couldn�t lose me if you had a head start.� Hell, a couple of days without you drove me
completely crazy.� Try me.� Please.::

Tasuki sighed, closing his eyes and looking for all the
world like a man going to his own execution.�
A door slid open in his mind, giving Tamahome access to that dark corner
where Tasuki hid things he didn�t want Tamahome to see.

::Then look.�
Just� I�m sorry, Tama�::

Tamahome closed his eyes�

�and opened them on a nightmare.

He felt Miboshi crawling into Tasuki�s mind,
tearing through it painfully and trying to dislodge him from his own body.

He watched as Nakago used his powers to throw
Tasuki around like a rag doll, forcing him to use up all his energy trying to
stay alive for just a little while longer, giving Tamahome the time he needed to get
Miaka to safety.� If he died, Tamahome
would know.� They could summon Suzaku
without him.

He looked on as Nakago gave up on torturing him
with pain, and instead tortured his exhausted body with pleasure.� Watched as Tasuki screamed at his body,
trying to will it to stop responding, and failing.

Teasing, expert touches forcing him to hardness and
driving his body to climax against his will.�
Physical pleasure warring with soul-sickness and the urge to vomit.� A finger, slick with his own seed pushing
roughly inside him, preparing him to be taken by someone he hated.� Nakago beginning to press into him and
knowing there was nothing he could do to stop it.� And what did it matter?�
The worst had already been done.

I shouldn�t have enjoyed what he did.� Tamahome deserves better than me.

The memories died away and Tamahome found himself back where
he started.� If it was possible, Tasuki
curled even further in on himself, shaking despite the warmth of the
water.� Waiting to be rejected.� He fully expected Tamahome to walk away from
him, disgusted by what he had learned.�
And why not?� He hated himself,
why shouldn�t Tamahome?

However, Tamahome was far from disgusted.� He was pissed.� It was no wonder Tasuki was in such pain.� Nakago had managed to steal something
special, something Tasuki treasured, just to use against him.� The bastard hadn�t just violated Tasuki�s
body; he�d violated his soul.� Add to
that the fact that Miboshi had violated his mind as well, and it was a miracle
Tasuki was sane.� But being angry
wouldn�t solve anything right now; the bastards were dead, and Tasuki was
suffering.� There would be plenty of
time to be angry later.� He had to help
Tasuki first.

�Tas, I�m not going to leave you because of something Nakago
did to hurt you.� It wasn�t your
fault!�� Tamahome reached for Tasuki,
but as soon as he felt a hand on him, Tasuki�s hand shot up and smacked it
away, wild amber eyes flying up to meet wide gray.� �What the hell are ya doin�?�
Didn�t ya see what happened?!�
I�m dirty now!� Maybe if I sit
here long enough, I�ll stop feelin� his hands on me, an� maybe then� I�ll be
good enough again��

Tamahome had heard enough.�
He had told Nakago that he would not lose anyone else he loved to him,
and he meant it.� He lunged at Tasuki,
grabbing him and refusing to let go.�
Tasuki tried to fight him, but he was still weak from days of unconsciousness.� Tamahome quelled his struggling easily, but
it wasn�t enough.� He knew Tasuki wasn�t
going to listen to� let alone believe� a word he said.

He wasn�t as good with their bond as Tasuki was.� Tamahome was better at talking than anything
else; the ability to explain himself and the world to small children had been
essential in raising his younger brothers and sisters.� But words would do him no good here.� He could show Tasuki over their bond, but he
wasn�t sure how to do it�

�Don�t think about it,� he reminded himself yet again.� �Just do it.�

Tamahome clasped Tasuki to him tighter and concentrated on
how much Tasuki meant to him.� How much
he loved him, accepted him.� That he
wasn�t dirty.� That he was Fierce-Bright-Wild-Beautiful.� He knew it had worked when Tasuki gasped and
stilled in his arms, his mental voice tinged with wonder.

::Tama?� That�s�
that�s how ya see me?::

::That�s how I�ve always seen you; I�m just sorry it took
me so long to figure out how to show you.::

::Even after what�::

�What Nakago did was the worst thing he could have possibly
done to you, Tas.� You don�t like pain,
but you�re used to it.� If he�d just
tortured you and hurt you, you could�ve handled that and he knew it.� So he did the complete opposite, something
he knew you wouldn�t be able to fight.�
I�m the only one who�s ever just touched you.� It�s something just between us.�

�I didn�t want it.� I
hated what he was doin� ta me, but I couldn�t stop myself from�� Tasuki shivered.� �I hated it.� I hated him
for doin� it, I hate myself fer not bein� able ta stop him, an� I hate my body
fer likin� it.�

Tamahome moved away just enough to look Tasuki in the
eye.� �Listen to me.� You can�t hate yourself because it
wasn�t.� Your.� Fault.� And you can�t hate
your body because it�s incredible.�� He
lowered his head and let his lips brush Tasuki�s lightly before pressing their
lips together.� He licked along those
soft lips until they hesitantly parted to allow him access.

As they kissed, he began to stroke every bit of skin he
could get his hands on, drawing that delicious trembling from his lover.� ::I love your body, Tas.� I love the way your skin feels under my
hands.� I love how you shiver and moan
when I touch you, and how you always move to meet me.� You keep telling me I�m a pervert.� It�s because I can�t get enough.�
You drive me crazy, and I can� t control myself around you!::� He let his pleasure and arousal at being
together with Tasuki again flow down the bond to accompany his words.

Tasuki was amazed.�
Not only did Tamahome not blame him or think he was dirty, he still
enjoyed being with him, he still loved him, still wanted him, still needed
him.� It was too much to ask for.� Tasuki moaned and finally uncurled himself,
winding his arms around Tamahome�s neck.�
::I don�t wanna feel him anymore.::

Tamahome drew away from the kiss just long enough to turn
and lay Tasuki back in the shallow pool.�
�Don�t feel him.�� ::Feel me.::

He ran his hands down Tasuki�s sides and back up to his
chest, teasing at his nipples.� Tasuki
groaned and arched up into Tamahome�s hands, silently demanding more.� Tamahome began to curse Nakago once more for
abusing something this beautiful, but then Tasuki was shivering again and he
forgot everything else.

He lowered his lips to Tasuki�s chest, trailing kisses and
licks as he went.� He paused briefly at
his bellybutton, dipping his tongue inside and hearing Tasuki moan.� Tasuki gasped as his length was engulfed in
his lover�s mouth.� His hands scrabbled
for purchase for a moment on the smooth stones at his back and eventually
settled lightly in Tamahome�s hair.� He
thrust into the moist heat, unable to stop himself, but Tamahome hummed his
encouragement.

After a few thrusts, Tamahome pulled away, drawing a
disappointed whimper from Tasuki.� He
smiled at that while he rose up and positioned himself against Tasuki�s
cock.� This was something he really
wanted to do for his lover.� Without oil
to ease the way it would hurt at first, but the water and moisture from his
mouth would help.� As long as they went
slowly it wouldn�t be too bad.

But Tasuki wasn�t having it.� �Don�t!� he said, grabbing his hips to stop him.

�Why not?�

�I know you ain�t done this before, an� it can� hurt.� I don�t� wanna hurt ya.�

Tamahome closed his eyes in painful understanding.� �You don�t want to hurt me like I hurt
you.�� He thought back to the dark place
in Tasuki�s mind, now knowing exactly what memories were imprisoned there.� �So that�s the last thing you�re hiding from
me.� Show me.�

�How�s it gonna help anything?� It�ll just make ya feel bad about stuff that wasn�t yer fault.�

�Maybe so, but it�ll fill in the blanks in my memory and
help me understand you better.� I know
you�re protecting me from your memories, but I�d rather deal with it than have
a part of your mind closed off to me.�

::�Don�t say I didn�t warn ya.::

Tasuki brought Tamahome�s hands up, putting one on either
side of his face before closing his eyes in concentration.� It took both of them to pry the memories out
of Tasuki�s mind, so deeply were they submerged.� Then suddenly, Tamahome saw�

�himself, hard-eyed and gloating over having broken
Miaka�s arm.� Fighting an unarmed Tasuki
with every dirty trick in the book while Miaka screamed at Tasuki not to harm
him.� Watching his nunchaku fall over
and over, feeling every sickening crack they made as they connected with
bone.� Watching the world swim dizzily
as the chain of the nunchaku wrapped tightly around his throat and choked him.

Tasuki had a high tolerance for pain, but not this high;
all of the blows were dulled somehow.�
He knew it should hurt more, but it didn�t.

::Why doesn�t this hurt more than it does?::

::�Cause yer in my head and I�m not lettin� ya go through
all of it.� It�s already bad enough I�m
lettin� ya see this in the first place.�
You�ll see why in a minute.::

Waking up on the ship in confusion as someone
assaulted him, kissing him and tearing at off his clothes.� Tamahome?�
Wondering at the pleasure he didn�t know his body was capable of
experiencing and feeling guilty for enjoying it, knowing it wasn�t meant for
him.� This kind of attention from
Tamahome could never, would never rightfully be his.

Watching as it turned into hell.

Realizing what Tamahome was about to do to him and
feeling that foreign emotion: fear.� Wanting
to kick, punch, throw him off, but knowing he had to consent to his own rape to
save his friend.� The absolute agony of
knowing that no matter how badly this damaged him, he�d be forgotten again as
soon as this night was over in favor of someone he loved like a sister.

Suzaku, if yer listening, please don�t let this break me.

Screaming as his body was brutally breached.� Even muted, the pain of his virgin
body being forced open and taken hard and dry by the only person he�d ever
fallen in love with was too much to bear.

Tamahome snapped back to himself with a gasp, shuddering at
what he�d just seen, what Tasuki had had to endure because of him.� He didn�t even realize he was crying until
Tasuki raised a hand to his face, brushing at the tears with his thumb.

�I didn�t know��
After all I�ve done to you, how can you even stand to have me near
you?� I�m sorry doesn�t even begin to��

�Ah, save it,� Tasuki cut him off gently, taking the sting
out of his words.� �In Kutou, that
wasn�t you.� An� on the ship, you
weren�t all there, fer a good reason.�
It all turned out fer the best.�
So you c�n stop feelin� guilty, I don�t blame ya for anything.� An� if ya really want ta make it up to me,
give me somethin� else ta think about.�

::I know you forgive me Tas, and that means everything to
me.� But it�s going to take a lot longer
for me to forgive myself.::

Whatever Tasuki would have said to that was swallowed by
Tamahome�s mouth on his.� All the
dredged up, painful memories had Tasuki�s erection flagging, so Tamahome set
about bringing him back to full arousal.�
He pressed their lower bodies together, rocking against him while he
made love to Tasuki�s mouth.� He kept up
this treatment until Tasuki was hard again and squirming under him, needing
more.

At first, he had wanted to do this for Tasuki.� Now, he needed to.� Tamahome sat up and reached back, finding Tasuki�s erection and
guiding himself down before Tasuki had a chance to object again.� He braced himself for the pain of being
entered without suitable preparation, but it never came.� His body just stretched to make room for his
lover, and there was nothing but the amazing feeling of having Tasuki fill him
for the first time.� He slid down,
taking his lover fully inside him before stopping to enjoy it.

He could feel Tasuki�s amazement loud and clear, both at the
incredible sensation of being sheathed in Tamahome�s body, and at the fact that
it wasn�t hurting him.� �It has to be
this place,� Tamahome gasped out.� �It�s
sacred to Suzaku.� I don�t think we can
be hurt here.�

Tamahome reached back and steadied himself with his hands on
Tasuki�s legs, using the leverage to raise himself and slide back down.� The next time he raised himself, Tasuki�s
hands flew to grip his waist and he snapped his hips up into that welcoming
heat.� A sharp cry ripped its way out of
Tamahome as his prostate came into contact with Tasuki�s length.

Tasuki�s breath caught in his throat.� Of all the times they�d made love, Tamahome
had never made that particular sound before.�
It was music to his ears, and he wanted to hear it again and again.� Tamahome tried to raise himself up again,
but Tasuki wouldn�t let him.� He just
grasped his hips harder and repeated the same action, grinding himself against
that sweet spot over and over.� Lost in
the pleasure tearing through his body, Tamahome was helpless to do anything but
cry out Tasuki�s name in ecstasy.

Tasuki was lost as well.�
Tamahome was hot and tight around him and gods, the sounds he was making
and the way he was moving and how incredible he looked with his head thrown
back in pleasure like that� but it wasn�t enough.� He needed more.� With a
low growl, Tasuki managed to flip them over, reversing their positions.

He drew Tamahome�s leg up and hooked an arm under his knee
and began to move in strong, steady strokes that had Tamahome thrashing and
moaning.� Wanting to prolong this
incredible moment as long as he could, Tasuki kept the pace as slow as they
could both handle, but it felt too good to last long.� Tamahome�s body tightening around him, drawing him in was quickly
driving him into a frenzy.

Tamahome cried out, the warm water lapping lovingly at his
skin as Tasuki continued to rock into his body.� He slid his hands down Tasuki�s chest and around his back,
finally settling on his ass, pulling him forward.� �Ha- harder,� he gasped.�
Tasuki complied, giving over to his body�s demands and increasing the
speed and intensity of his thrusts, making sure to strike his lover�s prostate
with every stroke.

Tasuki reached out to let their minds tie together just in
time to feel Tamahome�s pleasure crest.�
Tamahome stiffened, shouting Tasuki�s name as he shuddered in
release.� His inner muscles tightened
and spasmed uncontrollably around Tasuki�s length, and he cried out, following
Tamahome over the edge.

Tasuki�s exhaustion finally caught up to him, and he slumped
forward into Tamahome�s waiting arms.�
Tasuki managed to roll them onto their sides so he wasn�t crushing
Tamahome, and they stayed that way, still joined together for as long as they
could.� After a while, Tamahome could
feel Tasuki gently touching his mind, making sure he wasn�t hurt.

When Tamahome was able to think clearly again, he could have
wept at the unfairness of it all.�
Tasuki�s first time had been so brutally violent, and here he had repaid
the man who had brutalized him with nothing but tenderness.� He was left with the painful realization
that Tasuki had given him exactly what he would have wanted for himself.

In a pure act of will, Tamahome managed to swallow his own
guilt in favor of the moment, swearing to himself he�d start making it up to
him, and soon.

::Gods Tas, that was�::

::Yeah.� We gotta
do that again.::

::And again and again.::

Tasuki was a little dismayed to find it was extremely
difficult to keep his eyes open.� �Tama?� I think I�m more tired than I thought I was,
an� the sun�s comin� up.� We better get
back b�fore I pass out again or some poor lil� shrine maiden finds us.� With my luck, she�ll fall in love with your
hot ass an� I�ll have ta roast her.�

Tamahome just laughed at that.� �I�m perfectly capable of carrying your scrawny self back to our
room.� You can go ahead and pass out
now.� I�ve got you.�

Too tired to argue, Tasuki just sighed mournfully before
letting himself drift off.� ��M sick a��
sleepin��

::Hey!� Who�re ya
callin� scrawny?!::

********************************************************************************

::Wakey, wakey.::

Grumble.� ::Bite
me.::

::Mitsukake wants to check you out.� Wake up!::

::Where am I, and am I nekkid?::

::We�re back in our room, and no you�re not naked.� I got your pants back on you while you were
out.::

::Then I got no reason ta get up.� Mitsukake can bite me, too.� I ain�t movin�.::

::All right, you.�
Either get up on your own, or I�ll dump you in the pond!!::

:: � �::

Tasuki blearily pried one eyelid open to see Mitsukake
looking at him with bemused expression while Tamahome snickered behind
him.� �Ha, ha.� Very funny.� An� just
what�re ya gonna threaten me with if I ever learn ta swim, huh?�

�I don�t know, but we�re probably never going to have to
find out.�� Tamahome headed out the door
with a wave, puzzling Tasuki.� ::Where�re
ya goin�?::

::Away for a bit; I thought I�d give you some
privacy.� Why?� Want me to stay?::

::Nah, it�s okay.�
I was just curious.::

Tamahome left and withdrew from Tasuki�s mind as much as he
could, wanting Tasuki to feel free to talk to Mitsukake without him worrying,
and needing some time to think.

Because now that the crisis was over, he was angry.� Angry at himself for not being able to
protect Tasuki better, and angry with Tasuki for shutting him out in
Sairou.� He walked blindly through the
palace, not really paying attention to where he was going.� He hadn�t gotten very far when a knock on
the head stopped him.� �Oww!�� He turned around, rubbing his head to see
that Chichiri had whacked him with his staff.�
�That hurt!�

�Sorry, no da!� Chichiri said, looking anything but
apologetic.� I tried getting your
attention, but you just kept walking.�
And since you�re out here walking around, I can assume that Tasuki�s
awake, no da.� How�s he doing?�

�Better now.� He woke
up last night sometime, and Mitsukake�s checking him out now.�� The sound of footsteps taking off in a hurry
behind him went unnoticed.

Chichiri frowned.� �I
would have thought you�d be happier, but you look upset, no da.� What�s going on?�

�I am happy he woke up!� I just�� I don�t
know!� So many horrible things happened
to him.� If he hadn�t shut me out, maybe
I could have done something sooner.� Why
the hell would he think locking me out was a good idea?!�

Chichiri blew out an exasperated breath.� �Boy, you two really deserve each other, no
da!� You�re completely overprotective
and he�s ridiculously self-sacrificing.�
If you two survive a year, I�ll be stunned, no da!�

�And just what�s that supposed to mean?!�

Chichiri looked at him measuringly for a moment before
deciding to answer him.� He�d withheld
the truth about their bond from them once before, and the decision almost ended
up killing them.� He wasn�t about to
make the same mistake twice.� �Tasuki
went up against Nakago alone knowing full well he�d probably be killed.� If he had died without shutting you out, you
would have died with him.�

Tamahome started, feeling the color drain from his
face.� He�d suspected, but Chichiri�s
confirmation of it was devastating.�
�Chichiri, I can�t shut our link down like he can.� If I die��

�He dies too.� He
probably already knows that.�

�That�s not right!� Tamahome spluttered.� �I can�t cause his death, Chichiri!�

�Do you think he would have it any other way?�

�I�� What Tatara had
told him in the temple made sense now.�
�You can understand that, can�t you?��
Tasuki understood Tatara not wanting to live any longer without Suzuno
because he didn�t want to live on without Tamahome.� �No.� No, he wouldn�t.�

�And would you want to outlive him?�� Tamahome shook his head slowly.

Chichiri grinned at him.�
�Then might I suggest that things aren�t as bad as you think, no
da?� Suzaku knew what he was doing when
he created the bond between you.� Have a
little faith, no da!�

Tamahome shook his head ruefully, finally able to
smile.� �Do you ever get tired of being
right?�

�Nope, never, no da!�

********************************************************************************

Mitsukake watched Tasuki and Tamahome, fascinated.� He tried to imagine exactly what it would be
like to have the person you loved most in the world constantly sitting in your
head.� He waited until Tamahome had left
and he was pretty sure their silent conversation was over to speak again.� �I don�t think I�ll ever get used to that.�

�Used ta what?�

�You two carrying on a conversation without saying a word.�

�Oh.� Yeah, I guess
that looks pretty goofy.� I never
thought �bout it.�

�How are you feeling?�

Tasuki sat up and stretched.� �Nothin� hurts or anything.�
Other than bein� kinda tired and starvin�, I feel fine.�

Mitsukake snorted.�
�It took me three days to get you back to �fine.�� You were a mess!� I doubt anyone else could have survived your injuries. �If I had gotten to you five minutes later,
not even the Holy Water would have helped you!�

�Hey, it ain�t my fault everybody wants ta kick my ass!�
Tasuki protested good-naturedly.� �I do
my best ta charm everybody with my lovely personality, after all!�

Before Mitsukake could decide whether he wanted to try to
drive home the fact that Tasuki almost died or break into laughter, the door
flew open and a brunette blur came bursting into the room.� Miaka ran straight for Tasuki and flung
herself onto him.

Tasuki sat there in stunned silence as disorganized thoughts
all came pouring out of her in a rush.�
�I heard that you were awake!�
I�m so glad you�re okay, I was so afraid when we left you all alone
against Nakago!� And it was all my fault
for running off again without thinking, and you always get hurt when I do
that!� I never acknowledged you or
thanked you for protecting me and cheering me up and for just being there for
me, and I said such horrible things to you and treated you so badly!� You�ve done so much for me and never asked
for anything back.�

She paused for a breath, loosening her death grip on Tasuki
just enough to look him in the eye.� �I
was so angry at everything, and I just took it all out on you.� But then Chichiri talked to me, and I
started to figure out how selfish and hurtful I was being.� It�s obvious there�s something really
special between you and Tamahome, but I didn�t want to see it at first.� I had no right to treat you the way I did,
and I�m sorry.� I�m so sorry!� she
sobbed.

The bandit just stared down at her in shock.� �I� I thought ya hated me or somethin�.�

She sniffed and smiled shakily before giving him a light
thump on the head.� �Tasuki, you big
dummy.� You�re my guardian angel.� How could I hate you?� Can you forgive me for being an idiot?�

Tasuki finally smiled down at her and returned the hug, even
though he was starting to get uneasy.�
He wasn�t wearing a shirt, and her hands were in contact with bare
skin.� �Yeah, I think so.� I know you were pissed, and I�m really sorry
ya got hurt.� Neither one �a us wanted
that.�

�I know that now.�

�But ya still owe me!� he pouted, fighting the urge to
squirm uncomfortably.� �I at least
deserve breakfast in bed fer a week!�

�Who do you think I am, the maid?� she huffed playfully
before starting to laugh.� �I missed
having fun with you.� I missed your
jokes, and I missed how you could always make me smile, even when I was sad,�
she said, closing her eyes and giving him another squeeze.

He frowned, knowing she couldn�t see it at the moment.� �I missed ya too, Miaka-chan.�� And he had missed her and their easy-going,
fun-loving relationship.� But right now,
all he wanted was for her to let go of him and get.� Off.� Now!

If this lasted much longer, he was going to jump up and run
screaming out of the room.� He looked up
at Mitsukake helplessly.� In answer, the
Mitsukake cleared his throat and put on his best �Imperious Doctor� voice.� �All right, Miaka.� He�ll be up and about as soon as I finish checking him over.� So out!�

She stood, relieved and happy, and let herself be shoo�ed
out by Mitsukake while Tasuki tried unsuccessfully to figure out what had just
happened.

As soon as she was gone, Tasuki shot up from the bed and
went straight for the closet.� Someone
had seen fit to fill it with a bunch of different things, for which he was
grateful as his usual outfit was probably still somewhere in the temple in
Sairou.� He grabbed the first plain
white shirt he came across and pulled it on, not really knowing why he felt the
need to do so.� It was too big and hung
off his shoulders loosely, but Tasuki didn�t care; it was something.� �Do ya know what the hell that was?� �Cause I ain�t got a clue!�

Mitsukake sighed sadly and made his way back over to where
he�d been sitting.� �You seem to have
developed an aversion to being touched.�
You didn�t want me touching you either at first when we were on the way
here from Sairou whenever I tried to heal you, even unconscious.� You only let me do it once you knew for sure
it was me.�

Tasuki crossed back over to the bed and sank down heavily on
its edge.� �But it was just
Miaka-chan!� It�s not like she was
gonna� never mind.� How long is this gonna
last?�

�I don�t know.�
There�s no time limit on this kind of thing.� It will get better with time, but it will take as long as it
takes.�

��Oh.� Well, I guess
it could be worse.� At least it doesn�t
send me wiggy when Tama touches me.� An�
it�s okay when you do it.� So I guess
all I gotta do is make sure nobody hugs me when I�m half-naked an� I should be
fine, huh?� he said, giving Mitsukake a shaky grin.

�It might help if you talked about it,� Mitsukake suggested
gently.

Tasuki shook his head.�
�I ain�t good at talkin�.�
B�sides, I already showed Tama what happened.� That�s good �nough, right?�

Mitsukake shrugged, wanting to leave the door open without
pushing him into talking if he didn�t want to.�
�Maybe, maybe not.� Sometimes
talking things through makes you think about things you hadn�t considered
yet.� If you change your mind, I�ll
listen and try to help.�� He got up and
turned to leave.� �Now, I think you�d
better go get some food and cheer up Chiriko.�
He�s been moping around for days...�

Mitsukake went on, but Tasuki was too busy thinking about
what he had said to really paying attention. �It would be okay to ask Mitsukake about this, wouldn�t it?� Mitsukake had seen him at his worst, time
and time again� beaten, broken to bits, ripped apart and falling to pieces� and
had never looked down on him or laughed at him or told him to fuck off.� Tamahome had told him it wasn�t his fault,
but part of him still believed there was something wrong with him.� How else could he have gotten off on what
Nakago had done?

�Nakago,� Tasuki said, making Mitsukake turn back.� He was staring fixedly at a point on the
floor.� �He� touched me.� I didn�t want it, but he made me�
enjoy�� He couldn�t bring himself to
say it, so he settled for cursing and punching the bed.� �Dammit, how do ya fight somethin� like
that?� If I�d have been stronger�� I mean, yer a doctor so ya�d know if there
was some way I coulda� turned off my body?�
So it didn�t do what I didn�t want it to?�

Mitsukake closed his eyes for a moment against the pain in
Tasuki�s voice.� The questions he asked
betrayed a relative inexperience with sex and the body�s natural
responses.� It was no wonder Nakago�s
assault had him so turned around.� He
didn�t have enough experience to know why his body felt pleasure from
someone he hated.

What a horrible thing had been done to him�� Being strong has nothing to do with
it.� You can�t stop your body from
responding to things, and just because your body responds to something, that
doesn�t mean you like it or want it.�
Nakago dragged a reaction out of you, and that�s all there was to
it.� There was nothing you could have
done to stop your body from liking it, Tasuki.�
Nothing.�

As if Mitsukake�s words released some dam inside of him, to
his dismay, Tasuki choked on a sob.� He
cursed and gripped the bed hard trying not to cry, but it happened anyway.� When Mitsukake sat down beside him and
tentatively put an arm around him, he took the offered support, letting
Mitsukake hold him.� When he had cried
himself out, he felt more like his old self again, if more than a little
embarrassed.

Again.

He sighed, annoyed with himself.� �There I go, cryin� on ya like a baby all over again.�

�Nonsense.� A baby
wouldn�t have soaked my shirt.�� He was
rewarded when Tasuki snickered, wiping at his eyes with a sleeve.� �I�ve still got my arm around you and you
haven�t thrown me across the room yet.�
That�s a good sign.� You�re
already starting to heal.�

�I don�t know �bout that.�
You�re okay.� I ain�t ready to
start huggin� up on just anybody yet.�

Something in Mitsukake went soft at hearing that.� �Well, dinner�s in half an hour and you haven�t
eaten in days, so I expect to see you there.�
Doctor�s orders.�

�Yeah, yeah.� I�ll be
there.� And thanks for�� ya know.�
Not lookin� at me any different an� stuff.�

�You aren�t any different, Tasuki.� But you�re welcome anyway.�

Tamahome was leaning against the wall next to the door when
Mitsukake left, expression unreadable.�
�Did he tell you what happened?�

The doctor nodded.�
�I suspect there was much more to it than what he shared with me, but
yes, he told me some of it.�

�I thought he might.�
He trusts you.� Is he going to be
all right?�

�He�s not going to want anyone touching him for a while, but
that�s a normal reaction.� It will fade
eventually, with time and support.� For
now, he just needs to regain his strength.�
So don�t let him skip dinner!�

Tamahome nodded.�
�Thank you.� I know it can�t be
easy,� he said, gazing at Mitsukake meaningfully.

The doctor returned his gaze for a moment before giving a
small smile and walking away.� �You�re
the one he needs.�

***********

::ruffles hair in frustration::� Agh, what is going on with Mitsukake?!?!� That�s it, he is hereby banned from the rest
of the story.� He�s confusing me!

Next up: Fun ensues, Possesive!Tama makes an appearance, and
a secret plot is� born.

To tasukigirl78: How�s that for TLC? �^_^�
I�m pretty sure he�ll get some more lovin� before this is all said and
done.

To Yahnkehy: Oh, I am sooo far from apologetic about hooking
you on this story it�s not funny!� I�m
just glad you like it so much!� ^_^� All right: Tasuki agreed to let Soi and Tomo
go for reasons both altruistic (he doesn�t want innocent people to suffer if he
can help it) and selfish (hell, the boy wants a good fight!).� But mostly because I just want some cool
villians lurking behind the curtains in case I ever write a fourth installment
without having to use Hikou and Yosui and� whoever from the OVAs.� ^_^;;

In answer to exactly what Nakago did: Tasuki isn�t sure
himself, that�s why it�s vague.� At that
point, Tama�s energy was ripping through him and that was so painful he
couldn�t really feel anything else.� The
last thing he knew, Nakago was �at the ready,� so to speak.� Unfortunately, my plot bunnies aren�t being
very forthcoming on the subject, but feel free to torture Nakago anyway.� He certainly deserves it!� And I very much know what you mean about not
quite wanting it to be over yet.� The
abusive plot bunnies that live in my shower feel the same way!� (*-*)
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Changing Fate Series 3: The Legend Reborn