Misery in the Mountains

No wonder I never learned to play!! It was so fuckin' confusing, my head's still spinning from all the rules and stuff. I have to admit, I got my ass handed to me. That itself didn't really bother me, but the way they kept braggin' about it made me seriously wish Jeep was bigger so he could eat them.


"If you guys say one more thing about Mahjong, I'm seriously going to snap!" I hissed a few hours later. Sanzo had stopped grinning, but he was still being a little prideful. "Why, can't admit defeat yet, Roku?"


"Just remember, I know where you sleep at night," I growled. Gojyo looked up, surprise all over his face before it broke it a huge grin. I knew what was coming, shit! "Gojyo, don't you even-!"


"Hey, Sanzo, I think he likes you," Gojyo elbowed the monk in the side, who in turn grinned at me. "Sorry, kid, but you ain't my type."


"Gojyo, you jackass, I'm gonna frickin' kill you!" I roared, grabbing a majong tile and hurling it at his head. Gojyo ducked the tile, and was laughing at me aim when it bounced upon hitting a tree, getting lost in the underbrush. Hakkai looked the thick bushes,then at me, and sighed. "Good going Gojyo, now we're one tile short."


"Its not my fault the kid can't take a joke," the redhead mumbled.


"I think he's got a crush on you, Gojyo," Sanzo muttered.


"That's it!" I said loudly, standing up. Everyone looked at me, and I snarled. "That's it! I quit! You can lead yourselves over the fuckin' mountains!" With that said, I grabbed my pack, swung it over my shoulder, and started walking away. Everyone sat in shocked silence for a minute before a barage of 'hey, come back here!' followed after me. Unfortunately, their pleas fell on deaf ears, and I quickly disappeared into the bush.


Yeah, yeah, I know, I was acting like a baby, throwing such a dumb tantrum, but it made me feel better. Every step I took I grinned a little more, and I become more cheerful. My wound was pretty much healed up, so it wasn't slowing me down very much.


About twenty minutes later, my conscience started kicking in. Big time. So what if they were acting stupid? I should have just put up with it, I mean I had less than a day or two before they were gone for good and my pocket was a little fuller. "They were acting like total jackasses!" I muttered to myself. "I hope they fall off a cliff. Well, okay, Jeep was cool. And Hakkai was alright. Alright, Goku was okay too, when he wasn't whining." I stopped where I stood and dropped my pack, running a hand through my hair.


"Shit. What the hell am I gonna do?" I began imaging all sorts of accidents that could happen. Maybe they'd get lost and wander around until you could see the bones through their skin and they died of hunger. Maybe a bunch of youkai would come by, kill them then eat them; I could see a particularly fat demon picking his teeth with a bone, saying with a grin "That monkey was excellent!" Yikes! Or, more probably, Goku would eat some bad mushrooms and get super sick, then the others would get sick and then it would become a super virus that turned everyone into zombies.....


"Stop that," I told myself sternly, shaking my head. "Get a grip, idiot. You’re acting like they'll melt if it rains. They're the fuckin' Sanzo group for crying out loud! They can take care of themselves." I sat on the ground, my head throbbing slightly.


"The Sanzo group." I muttered. "Yeah, right. Who am I kiddin’? Except for Hakkai, all those guys are a couple apples short of an orchard. You just left three idiots to fend for themselves in the TrapDoor Mountains. Won't Grandad be proud?" I could see him right now, waving an auto-mail finger at me. "Roku, you should always try to help people, no matter how they act. Even if they call you........" I could see him struggling not to say 'short'. Grandad always had a complex about his height. I tried not to laugh when he did that.


"Alright, I gotta go back. Shit. Why do I have a conscience anyway, it only gets in the way." They might be able to kick demon ass, but Mother Nature is a lot more cunning than any youkai I have ever seen. With a sigh, I grabbed my pack and started back, kicking myself in the ass the whole way. However, the whole way didn't seem as long as before, and I was back near the clearing before I knew it. I heard arguing, so I hide behind a big tree about thirty feet from the guys, and saw them all sitting around, looking very lost and pathetic.


"What are we gonna do now, Sanzo?" Goku asked, the first question I had ever heard him ask that didn't have food in it somewhere. He looked like he was about to cry, poor guy.


"Well, Roku did say we were only a day away, right? Why don't we just keeping going straight ahead?" asked Gojyo around his cancer stick. I shook my head slightly. What an idiot. There was an uncrossable lake if you went 'straight ahead'. You had to go to the west to get out the mountains.


"Why can't Jeep fly ahead and show us which way to go?" asked Sanzo. I nodded. Good idea, monk. Maybe you're not so stupid after all.


Hakkai shook his head. "As much as I like the idea, I don't want Jeep to get hurt by any youkai or monsters in these mountains. Roku did say something about creatures, remember?"


"The baka was just trying to make a point, there's no 'monsters' here," Sanzo said. That baka comment made me want to turn around and leave again, but I instead grinned. Just trying to make a point, eh? I'll prove him wrong soon enough....


There was a chirp, and Jeep came floating down from the air and landed on Hakkai's shoulders. "Well, any luck?" he asked the little dragon, who shook its head.


"Shit. Jeep can't find him? He couldn't have gone that far, he's still got a hole in his gut!" Goku said.


"If Roku left and didn't want us finding him, I'm sure he could manage that quite easily," Hakkai answered. Couldn't have said it better myself.


"Stupid kid, we never should have hired him," Sanzo muttered. Hakkai turned and gave him an odd look that was reprimanding and cheerful at the same time. "Well, I'm sure that attitude didn't help matters, Sanzo. With you and Gojyo's teasing, I would've left long before this." The vein on the monk's head began to dance, but before he could say anything, Gojyo glared at Hakkai. "Hey, its not my fault the kid can't take a joke!"


"I wish Roku were here," Goku mumbled. "I'm hungry. I'd kill to have one of those apples right now!"


Aren't you in luck, I thought, silently reaching into my pack and pulling out one of my famous apples wrapped in cloth. I had been saving it for the trip back, but what the hell. I silently tossed it in the air, and watched with anticipation as it plopped right into Goku's lap. "SHIT!!" the boy yelled, jumping about three feet in the air, causing everyone else to jump as well. "What the hell?!" Gojyo snapped.


Goku pointed at the apple lying on the ground about a foot from him. "It hit me," he said, pointing at his balls. The innocent look of 'Whaaaa?' that was on his face caused me to laugh long and loud, making everyone stare at the tree I was behind.


"Ha ha aha, oh my god, the look......hahahah!" I was laughing so hard tears began to streak down my face as I stumbled out of the woods towards them.


"Roku! You little shit, you scared the fuck outta us!" Gojyo snarled, looking like he was seriously about to strangle me, but that only added fuel to the fire, and I was sitting on the ground, holding my
sides. "Please........stop........hahaha!!"


"Glad we could entertain you," Sanzo snapped, taking a long drag of his cigarette.


"Actually, that was pretty funny...." Goku said, now beginning to laugh along with me.


"Too bad it wasn't a rock instead," Gojyo said, sounding very regretful.


It took a couple minutes for me and Goku to calm down. When I had stopped laughing, Hakkai said with a smile, "Well, I'm glad you returned. We were in a bit of trouble, even if Sanzo didn't want to admit it." Sanzo rolled his eyes, but said nothing.


"Yeah, you guys would have been seriously screwed," I told them. "Just be glad that I felt sorry for you dopes....and that you still owe me a paycheck. Otherwise, I wouldn't have come back." I grinned and whispered in Hakkai's ear. "I also felt guilty for leaving you alone with them. How do you not go crazy?"


"Easy," he smiled back. "I lost it a long time ago."


"Yeah, yeah, we're grateful to you, blah, blah, blah," Sanzo grumbled. "Is there any way we can cover some distance today?"


I looked up at the sun's position and then thought about it for a second. "Sure, we can cover a few miles before night fall," I said. "Let's go."