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Innocent Rain	By : saxonjesus Category: +. to F > D. Gray Man Views: 3947 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: We own nothing of D. Gray-Man, nor do we profit in any way from this fanfic.

Chapter List
- 8
- 9
- 10
A/N: Don't kill us. There is a possible happy ending. Also,
please read the Allen/Lenalee parts. They have� omg plot movement?

---

Chapter 9�If I Fell

August 6, 2013�The
Dark Order, Main Branch

�� Lavi had run out
of the room, a gut-wrenching look of emotional agony on his face. That was all
it took to bring Yuu back to his senses.

�� What had he done?

�� He ran after Lavi,
but the man was already gone, and once again, Yuu couldn�t find him. He went
back to Bookman�s room, but he wasn�t there. He checked the library, and his
heart leapt as he saw a head of red hair. He ran up to it and froze. It was
fucking Darcy. He saw Amanda come up and press herself to the Irishman�s back,
her arms snaking around his waist. Yuu felt sickened and stormed off, not
caring about all the shocked faces that followed him out.

�� Four hours.

�� Four hours passed.

�� Four hours passed,
and he still couldn�t find Lavi. He had asked everyone, each time with more
pronounced desperation in his voice, face, and eyes. He had ignored the
surprised faces of the idiots he�d asked. They didn�t matter anyway. Fucking Finders. Shouldn�t they be doing the fucking
finding?

�� His thoughts
deteriorated to terror-ridden flits of possible places Lavi could be. He ran
out on the edge of the mountain, pounding the ground harder than was necessary
to sprint. He looked up, silently pleading with the God that ruled over the
Order to let him find the fucking rabbit that he cared about. He had known it would lead to pain, and he had
been right.

�� He stopped.

�� Lavi had gone one
other place. Just after Tiedoll had been killed�Yuu ignored the twinge in his
heart�Bookman had gotten seriously injured. Lavi had been beyond himself with
worry, and Yuu knew that it was a genuine feeling, not just part of one of his
personas. He had started brooding, and instead of going to the library or his
shared room, Lavi had gone up to the top of the tower, to the observation deck.
Yuu�s heart beat faster. It was a chance.

�� He pounded his way
to the top, not even noticing how his legs burned with the effort. He kept the
same grueling pace the entire way up the ridiculous amount of steps. He threw
the door open much like he had done that morning in Bookman and Lavi�s old
room.

�� Lavi was sitting
on the railing at the edge of the deck, leaning forward as if fascinated by how
far away the ground was. His hands were resting as curled as they could on top
of the rails, but they would not be able to grab them if Lavi started to fall.

�� Yuu�s heart
stopped. His breath stopped. He felt rooted to the ground like he never had
before, not even when he was five on that first, awful night�

�� He was running,
sprinting like he had before, wrapping his arms around Lavi�s back, linking his
hands in front of Lavi�s chest, pulling back until they were both in a heap on
the hard stone. Yuu�s head hurt, but he didn�t care, because Lavi was on top of
him and alive and safe.

�� What the fuck was that, Lavi?� He hissed, his voice gaining strength until it was a full-out yell.

�� There was no
response, and Yuu felt an anger such as he had never
felt before boil over.

�� Do you even know
what would happen if you died?� He
yelled into the other man�s ear.

�� No one cares, so
it doesn�t matter,� came back Lavi�s empty voice. Yuu knew that if he looked at
Lavi�s eye, it would be dark, no spark of life visible.

�� You have no idea
how much people care. You�re an idiot! You
don�t even realize that I fucking care
about you, BAKA USAGI!� He screamed. At some point, he had switched back
into Japanese. He wasn�t sure if he was glad or not that Lavi could understand
that.

�� The man in
question froze.

�� After a length of
time, Yuu felt Lavi�s hands cover his own, and he breathed a sigh of relief.
Lavi was back from whatever funk he�d been in.

---

August 6, 2013�The
Dark Order, South American Branch

�� Hok�ee,� Allen
said, gesturing to the Native American Exorcist. �Would you please get Ash to
shut up?�

�� Hok�ee nodded. He
took his spear Innocence and poked it into the middle of the Canadian�s back.
Michel went rigid, his back arching against the contact.

�� Goddammit, you know
that�s the sensitive spot of my back! Do you want me to come at you with my
chainsaw, Hok�ee?� Michel yelled, turning from the
Mexican woman he�d been flirting incessantly with. It reminded Allen of
Lavi�before Lavi had gone� weird.

�� You wouldn�t,�
Hok�ee said flatly. It wasn�t a threat, simply a statement of fact. Michel
dropped his head slightly and glared at the other man.

�� You suck ass,
Hok�ee,� he said, walking off dejectedly.

�� Sorry about
that,� Allen said to the Mexican woman. �Michel is, well, he�s Michel. I�m
afraid there�s nothing you can do about it but grin and bear it. You�ll
probably have to do that a lot. The Order is full of idiots like that.� He
grinned politely at her and offered his right hand to her. She shook it
solemnly, nodding in understanding.

�� Rodrigo is the
same way. I�m used to it,� she said in accented English.

�� Rodrigo?�
Allen questioned.

�� He is my
partner�unfortunately.� The woman screwed her face up in distaste but otherwise
remained rather expressionless.

�� You�re the
Exorcists we�re looking for, then?� He dared to hope.

�� Yes.� The answer
was short, concise. Allen liked the woman already, and in the back of his mind,
the Musician flickered to life. He liked her too. Allen winced and shook his
head. As if he hadn�t been there at all, the Musician faded away again. Allen
sighed. He wanted Lenalee, but she was out on an errand and wouldn�t be
returning for the next few days. Allen sighed again. He�d been doing that very
often lately. The Musician flared up in the back of his head like the pest he
was, and Allen couldn�t ignore him this time as he sung out, muuuusic is clooooose!

�� A Brazilian man
walked up to them, clad in an outrageous sombrero and an Exorcist jacket.

�� Rodrigo, what are
you wearing?� The Mexican woman asked incredulously.

�� Ah,
a sombrero, my dear Maya, a sombrero. It is very sexy, no?� He
responded.

�� Not. At. All,� was Maya�s point-blank response. The man looked
dejected then sobered, turning to Allen. Allen winced as the Musician shouted, THERE! MUSIC IS THERE!

�� You are General
Walker?� It was more of a statement than a question.

�� Yes,� Allen said,
offering his hand just as he had done for Maya. They shook, but as their hands
touched, the Musician flew out of whatever pin he�d been locked in, and all of
a sudden, Allen was writhing on the floor.

�� Lenalee!�
He screamed, reaching out for her, but not feeling her comforting presence, her
soft, cool hands, her gentle touch. He clasped his
right hand to his left eye and curled up. A prickling on his forehead announced
the presence of the stigmata. He felt his curse grow more ornate under his
darkening skin, and then he felt a burning sensation on his neck. He looked
up�his right eye was probably gold now�into Maya�s steely glare. Her flaming
sword drew blood at his throat. He gulped reflexively.

�� And now, Noah,
you die,� Maya said, her voice as steely as her dark eyes. He felt something on
his chest and then he was thrown backwards, backwards into a memory that wasn�t
his own.

�� The
Priest quivered fearfully for some reason, holding his large crucifix in both
trembling hands like a weapon.

�� You
devil, begone!� He shouted, thrusting the glowing green crucifix forward.

�� She
screamed as Sarah fell, the cross sticking like a stake from her heart.

�� All
balance in her world was lost, and she felt something inside her�something
evil, something heartbroken. And it wanted revenge.

�� LOOOOOVE!�
Allen screamed until his voice faltered and died, just like Sarah had. His head
fell to his chest, and he noted the rattling of the chains holding his wrists
above his head. His shoulders ached with the pain of holding his entire body
weight, and his right wrist was so chafed that it was oozing blood constantly.
He had no idea how long he had been there, only that he had just awoken. Any
time his eyes closed, that memory played before him. He let out a high-pitched
moan and whispered, �Lenalee, help me,� before he forced his mind back into unconsciousness.

�� He was dreaming. He had to be, because
Lenalee was there.

�� Allen?�
She asked. Then her eyes widened, and she gasped in horror. �Why are you
chained up?�

�� Allen
became aware of the steady burn in his shoulders and wrist as well as the dull
ache in his back. He tried to stand up, but his legs wouldn�t hold his weight.
He looked down and saw they were both chained to a heavy, iron ball.

�� She
ran over to him, tears falling from her eyes. She grabbed Allen�s face in both
of her hands and stared deeply into his eyes.

�� Are
you okay?� She asked. �I�ll try to find a way to get you out of them.� She
studied Allen�s chains but couldn�t find what she was looking for. She kicked
at the iron ball in frustration, tears flying from her cheeks.

�� What
are you doing in my dream?� Asked a high-pitched, curious
voice from the other side of the room. Allen and Lenalee both looked
over and saw a young girl of perhaps fourteen illuminated in a small pool of
light. She was sitting in a high-backed chair. She was dark-skinned, tanned
like many in the Middle East. Her hair was a deep chestnut, and it waved down
lightly to the small of her back, almost touching the seat of her chair.
Strangely, though, her eyes were a bright, perfectly clear blue. They shone
like a flawlessly cut aquamarine stone, though they were perhaps a few shades
darker. A light brush of stigmata graced her forehead, making them look like a
holy crown.

�� Allen
felt tears in his eyes at the perfection in front of him. He glanced at Lenalee
out of the corner of his eyes and saw her doing the same�though he wasn�t sure
if those were left over from her earlier tears or not. Allen suspected it was a
mixture of both.

�� Can
you free Allen?� Lenalee asked desperately, tears still flowing.

�� Faith
doesn�t need to free me,� he said softly. �You will, when you get back.�

�� You�re
Allen Walker?� The perfect girl asked in wonder, her childish voice echoing to
their side of the room despite its softness.

�� Yes,
I am.�

�� And
you�re Lenalee Lee?�

�� Lenalee
looked stricken, as if she hadn�t been expecting the perfect girl to address
her. �Yes,� she choked out. �I am.�

�� You
are my Heart. Guard it well.�

�� We
will,� they said together, though Allen didn�t know what possessed him to do
so.

�� I
know you will. Be careful of the others. Do not kill them�they do not
understand what makes them so.�

�� Allen
didn�t know what she was talking about, but he nodded gravely, and he saw
Lenalee do the same.

�� Now,
Lenalee, you must save Allen, before his allies betray him like Sarah.�

�� The
dream faded away.

�� Forty miles away,
Lenalee woke up. She gasped at the tears running down her face. That dream had
been very, very real, and she needed to get back to the South American Branch
immediately.

---

August 6, 2013�The Dark Order, Kanda�s
Room

�� Lavi was number
twenty-four today. He found that he rather disliked the childlike qualities of
number three and had only kept the ease of expression, throwing away the rest
of the persona. Twenty-four was a good person. He was quiet-spoken, but he had
an explosive temper where it counted. He was �quiet but feisty,� after all.
Lavi tested the boundaries of the persona, and after several hours of
inhabitation, he decided the personality would have to go. The temper just
wasn�t worth the trouble, and he rather disliked how quiet he was at other
times. He switched back to forty-nine, tired of experimenting for the day.

�� Yuu left the room,
and Lavi went to follow, his curiosity that he�d taken from number three
humming deep in his heart. Yuu was carrying a towel and heading toward the
bathroom. Lavi followed him, not wanting to be alone and wondering why Yuu was
taking a shower at five in the evening. No one took a shower at that time.
Normally, it was before breakfast or after dinner. As he closed the door, he
gaped.

�� Yuu�s lotus flower
had five petals at the bottom, as it had before their extended sleep in their
Innocence, but it was doing something he had never seen before: wilting. The
stem was bent and slightly wrinkled, its color the grayish-green of a dying
plant. Its petals withered up a bit, turning just a little bit gray at the
edges.

�� Tearing his eyes
away from the horrific sight, he followed Yuu to the bathroom, intent on
annoying the man in some way or other. Yuu began stripping the second he got
into the men�s facilities. He walked into a stall and paused. He dropped his
towel and button-up shirt to the ground. He turned around, urgency in his eyes,
and made as if to go to the mirrors in front of the sink. He stopped again,
this time freezing as if completely rooted to the cold, stone floor, as he
caught sight of Lavi.

�� Lavi stared. He
couldn�t help himself. It was like watching a train wreck. It was something so
horrible that he just couldn�t look away.

�� From the left side
of Yuu�s stomach to the second rib on his right side was a long, jagged and
mottled scar that Lavi was sure had not been there the night before.
Perpendicular to that was a thinner, straighter scar that went from Yuu�s
collar bone past the waistline of his pants. Lavi took it all in with
excruciating detail. Even without a Bookman�s mind, this memory would be
transfixed in his head forever.

�� Yuu,� he said,
his voice shaking slightly. �What happened to you?� But he didn�t need a
response. Whatever had happened, Yuu had dreamed about it the previous night.
Lavi vividly remembered the screams as the older man clutched his stomach.

�� Yuu didn�t
respond, just brushed past Lavi as he half-ran from the room. Lavi blinked and
then removed his shirt, throwing it at the other Exorcist but missing. Sighing,
he picked up Yuu�s towel and white shirt before leaving the bathroom. He
grabbed his own shirt on the way back to his room, where he found Yuu pulling
on the sweatshirt Lavi had stolen from him weeks ago.

---

August 8, 2013�The
Dark Order, South American Branch

�� Lenalee ran, Dark
Boots activated, toward the group of four Exorcists at the lunch table.

�� Where did you put
Allen?� She asked wildly, not caring how loud her voice was, nor how disheveled
she looked.

�� The cafeteria went
silent, and the four Exorcists shared dark looks.

�� He was a Noah,�
said the only woman, a Mexican, by way of explanation. �So we incapacitated
him.�

�� I know he�s a Noah!� Lenalee screeched,
slamming her fists on the table. �But if you had taken the time to pay
attention and notice that his Innocence was still his, you would have realized
he�s not a threat! He�s not even a Noah! He just carries the memories of one!�
Hot tears poured down from her desperate eyes.

�� Everyone looked
stunned.

�� Take. Me. To. My. Allen,� she said, her tone leaving no room for
protest. The four Exorcists in front of her gaped, and she pounded her hands on
the table again. �Now,� she added, a hard edge to her
voice.

�� They scuttled around
her and led the way to what appeared to be dungeons. Behind the bars of the
cell on the left, Lenalee saw Allen. His throat and chest were blood-crusted,
and his General�s jacket had been removed, leaving him with only a thin, white
undershirt. It, too, was stained with dried blood. Lenalee didn�t even ask for them
to let her in, just jabbed one leg out and kicked a few bars down. Walking in
through the now dusty air, Lenalee bit back a cough. Her foot struck the iron
ball that kept Allen from moving his legs underneath him. She stomped on the
chain leading to the shackles around his ankles, snapping it as if it were a
twig. Jumping up high, she kicked out her leg and broke the chains that held
his arms up. She hit the ground before Allen and caught the other teen deftly.
He groaned in pain as his arms fell to his sides. Lenalee hugged him to
herself.

�� Thank God you�re
alright,� she whispered in his ear. His skin lightened from its ashen tone at
her words, and his Noah form melted from him as if it had never been there.
Allen moaned, and Lenalee turned and glared at the group of four Exorcists.

�� Release him from
these shackles,� she said coldly, and all they could do was stare dumbly as she
approached them, dragging Allen with her. �Give me the key. Now.�
The Mexican woman reached into her pocket and produced a small, old-looking
silver key. Lenalee snatched it from the other woman�s hand and unlocked Allen
as carefully as possible.

�� Now, take me to
your hospital wing so we can have his wounds checked over,� Lenalee ordered.
This time, the other Exorcists seemed to have grown some backbone.

�� No,� intoned the
Mexican woman. The Brazilian man behind her put a hand on her
shoulder, perhaps in warning.

�� Maya�� He said,
his voice dying at the end of the word. The Mexican woman shook her head.

�� No, Rodrigo,
this�this Chinese girl�� she spat
Lenalee�s nationality as if it were a curse, ��is sticking up for that Noah.
How do we know she is not one as well?�

�� Do you not see my
Innocence!?� Lenalee yelled, and Maya shrank into herself a little.

�� Headquarters
would not give a General�s jacket to a Noah,� Hok�ee said simply in his deep
voice.

�� They gave one to him,� Maya shouted, pointing an
accusatory finger at Allen. Rage bubbled deep inside Lenalee�s stomach. They dare accuse her Allen of betraying the Order?

�� A rumbling noise
made Lenalee jump, and she saw Michel�s activated Innocence roaring where his
right hand should have been. Lenalee stepped back, already thinking through how
she would place Allen on the ground before incapacitating the man. However, he
turned his arm to Maya, resting the thunderous blade near her neck. She gulped
visibly and took an unconscious step back.

�� I believe them,�
he said simply. Turning to Lenalee, he added, �come on, Lenalee.� He gestured
for her to follow with his left hand, and then he deactivated his Innocence and
led the way to the South American Branch�s hospital wing. Lenalee followed him,
not sparing a glance at the other Exorcists. She heard two sets of footsteps
behind her. Allowing herself a quick glance, she saw the stoic Native American
and the one Maya had called Rodrigo following them as a sort of rear guard.
Maya stayed where she had been when Michel had turned his chainsaw on her as if
petrified to the spot.

�� One day later,
when Allen had recovered somewhat, they left for the Main Branch, dragging
along a reluctant Maya as they boarded the plane.

---

August 7, 2013�The
Dark Order, Main Branch

�� Lavi tried to be
discreet about following Yuu this time. It was very early in the morning, and
Yuu had left Lavi�s room with his towel, obviously intent on bathing. Yuu had
had another nightmare that night. He had thrashed and convulsed on his stomach,
his back arching sometimes with what seemed like a phantom pain. The most
disturbing part was that Yuu hadn�t made a noise, just gasped in what seemed
like stabilizing breaths. Lavi did not grab him this time, though he
desperately wanted to. His sun was writhing in pain,
and Lavi could do nothing about it but wait it out, feeling utterly helpless.

�� He waited until
Yuu had left the room and then hustled behind him, hoping he was being
secretive about it. He followed Yuu as he strode down to one of the training
rooms. Lavi was glad to be there. He loved watching Yuu train. He�d loved it
even before their extended stay in Hevlaska�s stomach. The way Yuu looked when
he was training was intoxicating. He wore a look of absolute concentration as
he exerted himself into a strong sweat. His attire was also a plus. He wore
only the bandages around his chest and a light, breathable pair of pants. Lavi
allowed his heart to beat frantically as he watched his favorite Exorcist run
through routines of strikes and parries, blocks and attacks, until he was
exhausted and breathing heavily. Yuu�s hair was up in its customary ponytail,
and Lavi noticed something strange. Yuu�s right ear was nicked and had a light
scar on the cartilage, as if something sharp had gone through it at one time.

�� Lavi began to
wonder just what the hell had happened in Yuu�s past to make him have such
horrid nightmares. He caught sight of Yuu sheathing his sword before
deactivating it and made a hasty retreat, lest Yuu find him peeking in.

�� He waited outside
the bathroom while Yuu showered and then followed him back to the other man�s
room. After a moment, he cracked the door open. His mouth dropped to the floor.
Suddenly, Yuu�s most recent nightmare made sense. Yuu�s back was covered with
horrible, disfiguring scars that ran this way and that, forming raised knots on
his once-flawless skin. Lavi�s heart tightened, and it
took him a moment to realize that he felt sorry that the other man had been
hurt so much. But not so much sorry as� anguished. He wanted to take Yuu in his arms and physically
squeeze the pain from the other man�s heart. It didn�t make sense, but he still
wanted to do it.

�� He waited until
the other man had dressed himself and then breezed into the room, unsure of
which persona he was using at the moment.

�� Howdy, Yuu-cha��
he cleared his throat, �er, Yuu.�

�� The other man
stiffened at Lavi�s voice before turning and glaring at him.

�� Just because I�
care,� he said through gritted teeth, �doesn�t mean you�re allowed to barge
into my room, Baka Usagi.�

�� Lavi laughed.
�Sure, I can. You barge into mine!� That wasn�t strictly true, but Lavi didn�t
strictly care. He looked over at the lotus and let out an unintentional gasp.
It was wilted even further than it had been the day before. He saw Yuu follow
his gaze out of the corner of his eye. A second later, the man was in front of
him, blocking the lotus from his view.

�� The other man
didn�t say anything, just made sure he blocked the lotus from sight no matter
how hard Lavi tried to see it.

---

August 9, 2013�The
Dark Order, Main Branch

�� Yuu stood in front
of his hourglass. Why was the flower wilting? He hadn�t been hurt, and instead
of a single petal, the whole flower seemed darker and shriveled. It worried
him. Was he running out of time? Yuu walked over to his desk chair and sat in
it, staring at himself in the mirror. He didn�t know why his scars were coming back
either, but there were the three he had received that one horrible night when
he was eight, and if he looked at his back, he knew he would see all the belt
welts he had gotten over the years, along with the strange, circular scars he�d
gotten when his father had taken the tomato knife to him again. On his left
cheek was the very light, faded scar from when his father had whipped the sake
bottle into his face. He�d been six. He looked at his legs and shuddered at the
marks that cluttered those. He refused to let himself remember how he�d gotten
them. He switched his gaze to his right arm and the scar from where his father
had broken it, shoving the bone through part of his skin. It throbbed in
phantom pain, so he looked elsewhere. He looked at his hairline and the one
light scar that poked through it. He knew how he�d gotten those. And how often. He didn�t need to think about those. There
was a reason he kept his hair long.

�� Speaking of his
hair� it was past his lower back again. He�d need to get Lenalee to cut it
soon. He didn�t know how soon she�d be back, though, and Lavi seemed to be
getting better, switching personas and discarding them so fast that it made Yuu
dizzy. Yuu thought it was a sign that perhaps the other man was finding
himself. Still, his hair was too long. It reached down to his upper thighs. Yuu
sighed, walking over to his night stand and drawing a pair of scissors from it.
He�d have to cut it himself.

�� He pulled his desk
chair up to the full-length mirror and sat on it, bringing the scissors up.

�� His door slammed
open. Yuu looked over to see the stupid rabbit walk in.

�� Yuu!
What the fuck are you doing?� Lavi shouted in alarm. �Don�t kill yourself! I
need you!� He strode over to Yuu and wrestled the scissors from his grip.

�� Che,� Yuu scoffed. �I was going to cut my
hair, baka.�

�� Lavi�s face
relaxed. �Really?� He asked, a smile already forming
on his stupid face. �I didn�t think you the type.�

�� Lenalee normally
does it,� Yuu confessed in a small, irritated voice.

�� Oh. Why don�t I
do it, then? That way, it�ll be even!� Lavi said running a hand through the
ends of Yuu�s hair.

�� Fine,� Yuu
grunted, and Lavi set about his work. He didn�t even need to ask Yuu how long
he wanted it, because his keen Bookman�s eye already knew the precise length.
Lavi grabbed Yuu�s new, durable hairbrush and combed it lightly through his
hair. Yuu closed his eyes. For some reason, the light pressure on his scalp
felt good, safe.

�� A hand ran over
the top of his scalp, carding through the hair, and he froze. The hand left
immediately, and Yuu relaxed. The hand came back, and he became stiff as a rod.
He growled at Lavi, but the touch was gone as soon as it had appeared.

�� Sorry, Yuu,� Lavi
said softly. Yuu felt his hair being cut, and the two remained in silence as
Lavi did his work meticulously. Every once in a while, a hand would go over the
top of his head, and one time, it brushed over one of his mottled scars, where
it stopped. Yuu couldn�t suppress a shiver at each light touch. He did not like it when people touched the top
of his head, especially when their hands were in his hair.

�� He must have
growled again, because Lavi was suddenly cutting his fringe and two mid-length
strands of hair.

�� There you go,
Yuu-ch�er, Yuu,� Lavi said.
Yuu�s chest gave a little twinge. For some reason, it annoyed him that the stupid
rabbit was leaving off that hated honorific.

�� Why aren�t you
calling me with that infernal honorific?� He asked bluntly.

�� Because you hate
it,� Lavi replied nonchalantly as he brushed Yuu�s back and shoulders off.

�� I don�t� mind it
when it�s you,� he replied, his voice gruff at the awkward admission.

�� Lavi�s eye widened
slightly. �Really? Well, that�s great, Yuu-chan!� Yuu
hit him on the arm.

�� Never mind, I
take that back. It really does bother
me. Don�t ever call me that again.�

�� Nope!
You�re just lyin� now, Yuu-chan! You can�t take back
what you honestly think!�

�� Yuu glared at him,
but the idiot redhead was not deterred. In fact, he had taken the admission as
something of an invitation to sit on Yuu�s lap and throw his arms around him.
And now his hands were back in his hair, running over the many scars that ran
over his scalp.

�� Yamero,� he barked. Lavi didn�t.

�� Nope.
You�re going to tell me where you got these, Yuu-chan,� he said. His voice was
soft, though, as if Yuu had an actual choice about responding. Gently, Lavi
bent over and placed his lips on each scar. Yuu froze solid, petrified. He was
one with the chair. They were one solid entity.

�� Tell me, Yuu. I
really want to know,� Lavi whispered against his hair.

�� No,� Yuu
whispered back, his voice suddenly forgotten. He couldn�t make a noise.

�� Lavi pulled him
from the chair, hugging Yuu tightly. Yuu fought to get away, pushing at any
part of the baka usagi he could
reach, but he couldn�t get free no matter how hard he tried.

�� Hot lips touched his, and this time he relaxed. It was� nice. But that
couldn�t be. Because kisses were never nice. But this
one was. Yuu was confused. But Lavi�s tongue was on his bottom lip, asking for
admittance, and Yuu allowed it before he even realized what he was doing. He
didn�t even realize it was happening, but he was suddenly sitting on his bed
with Lavi standing over him. Their tongues tangled, making him moan�he moaned?�and then he was being pushed
back onto the mattress. A hand came up, tangling in the hair by his right ear,
and Yuu snapped.

�� GET OFF!� He shouted in Japanese,
fighting the contact with everything he had. He brought his fist back and
punched Lavi hard on his left cheek, throwing the other man from the bed with
its force. He ran from the room and headed to the training rooms. He needed to
do something to get his mind off of what had just happened, and he needed to
stop hyperventilating. Hopefully, by the time he got back to his room, Lavi
would be gone.

---

August 10, 2013�The Dark Order, Main Branch

�� Yuu had looked in
on Lavi before going to sleep. The other man had been sleeping deeply�it was,
after all, two in the morning�and Yuu decided he could sleep in his own room
that night. He wasn�t ready to be with Lavi again. Too many memories were too
close to the surface, and he wouldn�t be able to keep his indifferent exterior
in place if he was too close to Lavi.

�� He didn�t sleep
well�he never had. Still, he slept worse than usual, and at eleven in the
morning, he woke in a cold sweat from his latest nightmare. He sighed, knowing
he wouldn�t get anymore sleep. Grabbing a towel, he went to do the necessities.
But first, he�d go check on Lavi. He opened the next door and found the other
Exorcist gone. His heart beat a bit faster, but he kept his fear in check. Lavi
may have gotten hungry and gone to the cafeteria on his own, not waiting for
Yuu as he usually did. He may have decided to give Yuu some space after the
disastrous incident the night before.

�� Yuu tried to
ignore his growing sense of doom as he showered. He even passed Lavi�s room
without checking in again before he got dressed. And, damn it, he didn�t need
to check before he ate breakfast. He didn�t see Lavi there, and he hurried
through his meal. He walked faster than usual back to his room. He stood with
his hand on the knob, trying to force himself to not check on the other man.

�� He failed.

�� His heart stopped.
Lavi still wasn�t there. Yuu began to worry, thinking back. Why wouldn�t Lavi
be in his room? He normally never left it unless Yuu forced him to. The only
times he�d left by himself were when he�d been�what had Darcy called it?��emo.�
Yuu�s heart froze mid-beat, icing over.

�� He suddenly needed
to see the other man right now. He
ran to the library. Lavi wasn�t there. He checked Bookman�s room, but Lavi
wasn�t there, either. He checked some other nooks and crannies before
remembering the tower. What if Lavi had gone suicidal? He�d been that way
before, hadn�t he?

�� Yuu�s eyes
widened. The other time he�d been up on the tower was after he�d pushed the
other man away. He flew to the stairwell and took the steps two or three at a
time. He hit two people�was that Lenalee and Moyashi?�and barked something at them, not stopping. Lavi was too
important, too pressing a matter, for him to stop. He threw open the heavy door
and stopped, his heart in his throat.

�� He�d found Lavi.

�� The man was
standing, legs shoulder-width apart and arms out to his sides, on the railing.
Yuu watched, horror-struck, as Lavi lifted his left foot and balanced it out in
the air in front of him. Thankfully, he put it back on the railing. Yuu strode
forward slowly, numb from absolute shock. If
Lavi fell� but he couldn�t think about that. Could he survive it?...
but he wasn�t thinking about that. If Lavi died� but he absolutely, positively was not. Thinking. About. That.

�� Lavi leaned
forward, and Yuu�s heart lurched, forcing him into action. He reached the
railing as Lavi started his fall. He caught the man�s wrist. Lavi twisted as
his shoulder rolled so he was facing the tower. Then his weight caught up, and
his hand was jerked from Yuu�s.

�� Yuu watched,
horrified, as Lavi fell.

�� He stumbled back
from the rail, his legs shaking beneath him until they couldn�t support his
weight and he tumbled down. He looked, unseeing, at his hands. I missed, he thought, horrified. I failed. Just like I
failed her. He�s dead. Just like her.
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Innocent Rain