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Hakkai's Secret	By : TsuzukiM Category: Gensomaden Saiyuki > AU - Alternate Universe Views: 3026 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Saiyuki, know the author, or make and money off this story. I do not own any of the characters except the ones I create.

Chapter List
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Chapter 9 Dagger

I’m beginning to show. Goku’s right--I can’t hide this for much longer.

It was getting close to March. A few weeks had past since Sanzo’s visit. Somehow, it seemed comforting that Goku knew, but he didn’t really trust him to keep his secret. Goku had an outstandingly bad reputation for secret keeping. In a strange sense, he hoped Goku might tell Sanzo when Sanzo was nowhere near him. That way, if he blew his top Hakkai would not have to feel his immediate wrath. A lot could be said for cool down periods.

Hakkai knew, instinctively that the priest was going to be righteously pissed.

Hakkai stood before the full-length mirror that hung on the bathroom door. He already could see that there was a subtle curve to his belly that had not been there before. He didn’t think Gojyo would notice it--yet. Hakkai himself might not have noticed it if he hadn’t been looking for it. He ran his fingers over the curve, sensing the aura there that was probably stronger than it should have been.

When Hakkai sat down, he’d noticed his pants were a little too tight. He was going to need to buy new clothes soon. He was going to have to start preparing. Hakkai had no idea if he was even capable of giving birth and he was dimly aware that this latest scandal might be the end of his life.

He chose not to entertain those notions too much. He had no control over the future and he’d have to cross that bridge when he came to it. Unless…

Hakkai chose to divert his attention to the dagger he’d been admiring for weeks now. It had a gold gilded pattern over a patina hilt that was unique. It bore an intricate knot-work pattern that fascinated him. It was a subtle elegance without garish jewels or any of the other nonsense that purely ornamental knives had. On the other hand, it wasn’t as plain as those designed for utility either. It was beautiful, and yet functional. Within the intricate inlay of the hilt there were yin-yang symbols and markings that had other meanings to them.

The last time he was in the area alone he’d gone into the pawnshop to ask about it. He held it for the first time and Hakkai could swear the thing vibrated in his hand for a moment. It was like it said “Hello.”

The shopkeeper had looked at it strangely.

“I don’t remember us getting this in. You say it’s been there for weeks? How could I have missed it?”

Still, after appraising it, the pawnshop owner had laid a hefty price for it. It was more than Hakkai thought he could come up with any time soon and he’d had to beg the man to hold it for him. He’d given over the grocery money he had left as a deposit.

Hakkai had not bought anything like it in his life. He’d never cared for such things, not really, even if he did stop and think about them sometimes. Now that he had touched it, he wanted it more than anything.

He had not owned or used an edged weapon since Hyakugen Moau.

He’d sworn off weapons since then. He was too dangerous with them. He instead had learned to use his Qi as a weapon-- and had become almost as lethal even un-armed. He’d refused to lift an edged weapon- until now.

Hakkai was feeling good. Despite the tightness in his belly, he was feeling his strength returning. The days were getting longer. Once they got past March the worst of the cold weather would be behind them. Birds and wild life were showing signs of becoming active again. Hakuryuu spent less time on his shoulder and in the house and more time outside in the trees, or aloft. It had been an unusually warm winter thus far.

Hakkai went to one of his favorite places-- the market. He even was having an easier time dealing with the fruit cart man who always seemed ready to insult him. Hakkai had started to avoid the cart. Continued complaints to the owner had only had one effect:

“So, faggot--you called my boss again?”

Hakkai narrowed his eyes at the man. “What do you have against me?” It was a question he’d asked before.

“Nothing, except I think you’re a rude little faggot.”

Hakkai clenched his fist. The man was getting to be too much. Generally speaking, Hakkai avoided him. He would watch the cart for a few minutes before approaching and had taken to buying there only when someone else manned it. He hadn’t seen him emerge until it was too late on this occasion. Hakkai turned to leave. “You’re the one calling me names. I guess I won’t be patronizing your cart today after all…”

Why did he even come here anymore? He’d tried talking to the man, placating him, complaining about him to the owner and talking to the other people who worked there, but nobody seemed to want to do anything about it. Apparently, he only did it to Hakkai. He couldn’t even walk past the place without hearing some kind of jeering insult when he was there. A raving lunatic at the market Hakkai could handle- but this guy had picked him out of the crowd to target, and that vexed him.

“Sure, run away, pretty boy! You don’t have the balls to stand up for yourself. Why don’t you go get your boyfriend?”

Hakkai stopped. He’d had about enough of him. Somehow, he’d brought Gojyo into it. He didn’t know how he could be aware of Gojyo or their real relationship--unless he was just guessing. Still, some of the things he said demonstrated personal knowledge of Hakkai. Most of his comments seemed to be aimed at Hakkai’s sexuality--like he knew that that was the best way to get to him. Despite himself, and knowing the hypocrisy of it Hakkai still actively identified himself as heterosexual. Yes, Hakkai still had enough ego left to bristle at gay slurs.

He had one thing left he hadn’t tried to do--beat the shit out of him. However, this was his own back yard and he really didn’t want to shatter his reputation as a quiet librarian. He’d worked hard to keep people from being afraid of him. He worked hard to not let anybody know what his life really was like. Having this man blurting out faggot at him daily, and in public was too much.

He stormed up to the cart and smashed his palms across the counter. He seethed, “What the hell is your problem with me?” His inner animal growled, like it had started to be woken.

“Finally, it took that much for you to actually face me! Half my problem with you is you don’t even remember who I am!”

Hakkai wracked his memory. He came up with nothing.

“You don’t? You really don’t? How the hell could you forget me? You little bastard. I should just beat the crap out of you right here for that alone!”

Hakkai glared. “Well, before you do, could you at least tell me why?”

The man came around the cart. He got into Hakkai’s face, so close Hakkai could sense the limited aura of a demon. “Well, I’ve been trying to pick a fight with you for weeks. I can see your just too chicken shit to do anything about it so I’m gonna have to start it like this! Hit me!”

“What?”

“Hit me, faggot. Are you too pretty? Are you scared I’ll break that pretty face of yours?”

“I really have no idea what the hell your problem is!” Hakkai barked. He knew if he carried this thing out, he was likely to kill him. “Besides, it’s usually the small minded who have to win arguments with fists.”

“You saying I have a small mind?”

“If the shoe fits…”

The man planted a shove into Hakkai’s shoulder. Hakkai was forced to step one step back to keep his balance.

“You afraid of me, faggot? Afraid to fight me, little man?”

“I don’t even know who you are!”

“How can you not know?” He poked Hakkai’s shoulder with one finger. “Remember me!”

“No, I don’t!”

“Well you will after this!”

He grabbed Hakkai’s by his jacket. He outweighed Hakkai probably by a good fifty pounds and it took little effort to drag him off his feet.

Hakkai sighed inwardly. In the back of his mind he knew Hakuryuu had taken notice and it was a matter of time before the dragon got involved. Hakuryuu had been getting increasingly protective and had already attacked people for less than laying hands on Hakkai.

The man breathed into his face and Hakkai scowled at the intrusion of another’s breath in his air.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” he said calmly, “You don’t really know who you’re dealing with.”

“Fuck you!” and he did it. He pulled his hand back to punch Hakkai, but Hakkai landed a blow first. He sunk his fist into his stomach and the man was forced to let Hakkai go. He stepped back, coughing. “You do have a good punch, I’ll give you, but it's not enough!”

He sprang to charge Hakkai. Without thinking, Hakkai materialized his Qi and lobbed a missile at the man. He hadn’t meant to make it as strong as he did. He just wanted to end this inexplicable confrontation. People were staring, eyes were drawn to them. The scene he’d been forced into was pissing him off more than having to fight to end the harassment.

It had been a while since Hakkai had had a good fight. Under less intrusive circumstances, he would have enjoyed the opportunity to beat the crap out of this man. However, he didn’t mean to hit the man with enough power to send him sailing through the air and into the cart. He didn’t want to use his Qi like this before the eyes of his own neighborhood.

In the seconds before he regained control he was materializing more energy. He had a strong ball of Qi formed before the man landed. Out of pure anger he lobbed the second missile. The apple cart exploded and the man took flight again. He landed several feet away, moaned and rolled in the snow.

People took notice. They started screaming and running everywhere. Hakkai looked about anxiously, wondering how many of them realized he had been the source of the explosion. The produce cart was obliterated and Hakkai was thankful he’d aimed it poorly. If he’d hit the man directly with the second blast he would have dismembered him.

“Oh shit!” Hakkai said. He looked at his own hand. “That’s never happened before!” Hakuryuu landed on his shoulder and began squealing at the people running hither and thither.

“Hey! What the hell did you do?” a merchant hollered.

Hakkai looked at him, as surprised as everybody else. “I- I didn’t mean to!”

People were looking at him in horror. People were running away from him. Someone was calling for the authorities. Hakkai turned on his heel and ran.

“What the hell was that?” he said to Hakuryuu. “It takes practice and concentration to summon and materialize my Qi, how the hell did I do it by mistake?”

He had hidden in an alley and was waiting for the commotion to die down before he tried to go out in public again. He was banking on it that most of the people who witnessed it probably didn’t have a clear memory of it, or hadn’t gotten a good look at him. It had all happened in seconds.

He was staring at his hands. He materialized Qi in his palms and began doing exercises . The gold streaking had increased. He’d come to the conclusion that using it didn’t bother the little one. He’d been very careful at first, but there had been no signs of distress. Hakkai’s power had grown. He’d never lost control of it like that before.

Eventually, the outside world calmed down and Hakkai dared to venture into view. He quietly drew his hood up over his head and slipped into the pawnshop.

The dagger greeted him from the window.

He piled more than half his week’s pay onto the pawnshop’s counter top. The proprietor came around and eyed the money. “You must really want this thing pretty badly!”

Hakkai smiled. “Yeah, I know. This is all the money I can afford to spend on it right now.”

The proprietor gave him a sidelong look. “I don’t suppose you know something I don’t about this thing? Maybe I’m not charging you enough?”

Hakkai bit his lip. “We have a deal.”

“Yes, yes we do,” he jeered, “I’m just messing with you.”

He pulled the dagger out of the window and handed it to Hakkai. It thrummed for a moment in his hands and he could feel his pupils dilate. It was light, and the handle fit into his palm like it had been designed for him. He could almost feel it make some kind of connection with him. Hello again!

Maybe next time I’ll have enough to take you home.

Hakkai looked up at the man. Then, wrinkling his nose he glared around at the pawnshop. The place was filthy--it was not somewhere Hakkai would willingly go without a reason. He’d poked his head into the place once before and had found it vile. Items were placed haphazardly about and were often covered in dust. Hakkai didn’t know how the man stayed in business. However, it gave him and idea.

“If I give you the rest of my money, and I clean this place can I take the knife?”

The proprietor scrubbed fat fingers along the three-day-old stubble on his chin. “When you say clean, do you mean everything? Bathrooms, dusting, the shelves- everything?”

“Everything!”

“Hmm, okay, but if I don’t think you did a good enough job the deal's off.”

Hakkai spent the weekend cleaning everything. He had to buy most of the supplies himself and he spent all his off-hours working with one goal in mind.

Hakkai discovered that there were beautiful and valuable things in the shop that went unnoticed because they were covered in filth. Even if the man had no concept of cleanliness, he had an eye for purchasing gorgeous pieces. In the end, the pawnshop owner was impressed, the shop gleamed, the shelves properly organized and merchandized. Hakkai had uncovered a remarkable amount of space so that the once cluttered shop now had shelf space to spare. Hakkai left with his prize in his hand.

He was almost home when the dagger pulsed. He had been admiring the hilt the whole walk home. He couldn’t stop touching it. Eventually, he ran his thumb over the edge and felt it bite into his flesh. He winced, and cursed. He hadn’t meant to cut himself. In fact, he hadn’t even thought of using the blade that way until that moment. He sucked at the blood on his thumb.

“You bit me on purpose!” he said to it. Some of his blood was on the edge and it ran down to the hilt. Hakkai was mesmerized as he watched the blood disappear, like the hilt absorbed it. “Now that is weird.” He brushed his thumb across the handle and watched the blood sink into the knot-work. “Whoa,” he whispered.

A moment later, it was like an electrical shock zapped him. He dropped the blade and it landed point down in the snow. Hakkai stared at it, afraid to touch it again. He had the idea that abandoning the thing he’d just worked so hard for would probably be the smart thing to do--but he didn’t want to. He couldn’t bring himself to walk away from it. Eventually, he picked it back up.

It thrummed in his hand. Hakkai stared at the blade and concentrated upon it. Eventually, he made out the slight presence of an aura. After a little more concentration, he could feel a slight pull on his own Qi.

He should have felt threatened, but he didn’t. Instead, he slipped the thing into his pocket and headed home. It didn’t stay there long; he found the desire to handle it hard to resist. For a while he walked with his hilt in his hand inside the pocket. Eventually he took it back out again.

He was almost home when it twanged in his hand. He looked up and saw that the lights were on in his window.

They’re here.

“Oh shit,” Hakkai said aloud. Sweat broke across his brow.

It hasn’t been a month yet, they are early! Why are they early? Dammit Goku.
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Hakkai's Secret