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For the Sake of Being Normal	By : ShinigamiMailJeevas Category: Death Note > Yaoi-Male/Male > Mello/Matt Views: 1375 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own or make any money from Death Note

Chapter List
- 8
- 9
- 10
Disclaimer: I do not own or make money from the anime Death Note...if I did Near would have lost as he was originally intended to and there would have been lots of yaoi for the M's..

Suggested Listening: Save Me by My Darkest Days

Believe by Rob Thomas

~Section 4~

-Freedom-

Mello threw his phone across the room, watching as it landed with a loud smack against a couch cushion. It wouldn't be damaged, but at this point, a fracture in the screen would have been satisfying. He could not count how many times, just today, he had called Matt only for it to get cut off or go to voice mail. He was clearly being ignored, and it was not just over the phone.

He had gone over to Matt's apartment a few times, times he knew for a fact Matt would be there, and had not gotten an answer. He had even seen his damn car in the lot! The bastard was blatantly ignoring him. It was fucking ridiculous.

He chose being 'normal' over Matt, so fucking what? Why couldn't Matt understand that it wasn't easy for him, that not every decision was black and white. He didn't have parents that could look into a gift box of sex toys and laugh about it. He had no one else to talk with about this either. Matt was that person. He was stuck, had no clue what to do. It wasn't fucking fair.

Mello sank down the wall, knees sliding up to his chest as he came to rest on the floor. Hiding his face, he sighed. He would leave Matt alone for a while to cool off. After all, bugging him obviously wasn't working out very well.

Surely giving him some time would be the best thing, right?

.

"The person you are trying to reach is not available at this time-" He stared at the phone, disbelief and frustration coursing through him. That message could have meant a million different things, including service interruption or an unpaid bill. Mello didn't believe either of those. In fact, it was probably accurate to say that either Matt had shut his phone off or was in the process of blocking him. His shoulders slumped. It hurt...it hurt a lot.

He had not spoken to or seen Matt since the day the redhead had walked out on him. And it was becoming clear that Matt intended to keep it that way at least for some time. His stomach sank, the feeling jittery and unpleasant. He might have just lost his best friend. And all because of a person he did not love. He glanced to the closed bathroom door, a foul look descending over his lips.

It wasn't all her fault. She had just fallen in love with the wrong person. Probably pressured into it like he had been. However, her feelings seemed genuine. He was the problem because he couldn't break away. It was normal. To want things you could never have. It had been his entire life thus far; it was unhappy but it was normal.

"I wish you had never come back." Everything had been fine before Matt, boring and normal but almost bearable. Then Matt had come back into his life and turned everything upside down. It was probably accurate to say that he had not had a friend, a true friend, since childhood, and Matt had been it. Matt was different from every person he knew in his life: he didn't follow the social norms dictated by higher society, he didn't dress or act the way they did nor expect anything from him other than friendship.

Or at least he hadn't.

Mello collapsed into the bed, curling onto his side and facing away from the bathroom. He missed him. He wanted him. He loved him, had almost had him. "Mihael, don't tell me you went back to sleep!" The bathroom door creaked open and steam cut through the cool air just as Sam's voice cut through his thoughts.

He might have messed up, thrown away something good. But they could have stayed friends even if the attraction was still there. It worked in the movies, right? Surely it worked sometimes in the 'real world too…

"Hey sleepyhead, we need to go grocery shopping, remember? If we wait, everything will be gone. It's almost the fourth, you know." Her damp body pressed against his back, no towel to be found.

"We will go in a few minutes, alright? It won't take me that long to get dressed." He could almost see her lips pressed into a pout, or maybe a frown. He wasn't in the mood for games right now. He just wanted to have his moment of misery, regroup, and pretend that it wasn't a knife wound to the chest every time his phone rang and it wasn't Matt.

.

.

The front door was opened, and Martin Jeevas walked in, carrying two plates of food that were eagerly swept from his hands so he could get settled. Mello looked on anxiously and visibly sighed when no one came in after him. Why had he even hoped Matt would show up?

"Matt is home sick—wasn't feeling well when he woke up. So needless to say, he won't be here today," Martin said with a small shrug, obviously unconcerned.

Mello snorted quietly. "Sure he is. Phone must have broke too," he muttered. It stung. There was no denying it; he had really wanted to see him. Yet he pushed all feelings of the matter away. There was just no time to deal with it at the moment. Last thing he needed was for them to gang up on him and demand to know why Matt had not been seen in his company for a while. With the way Mr. Jeevas was looking at him, he might have to stay away from him the entire Fourth of July party; he obviously knew something about the situation or simply discerned something was wrong.

His mother had already been acting weird since he had gotten there, like she was ready to attack him over something. Generally speaking, she wasn't one to hold back. Many embarrassing moments in public attested to that, so it had him as curious as it had him weary.

He moved to lean against the wall by the buffet they had set up. For now there were just snacks out, the actual dinner portion being cooked by the staff; only finger foods and desert had been homemade. Sam had a small plate in her hand—mostly things he had never seen her touch before—as she conversed with his mother in quiet whispers.

Something finally seemed to be decided, and his mother looked away, smiling like the cat that ate the canary. "Alright, now that everyone is here and the festivities are about to begin, there is something Samantha wishes to announce," she looked adoringly at his wife, wrinkled face smiling with her dark lipstick coated lips turned into a pleased smile.

"Well, after Sybil asked me to go to the doctor's for the fever I had been running, I found out that I was pregnant," she smiled nervously around, hands twisting the bottom of her blouse.

Mello stepped away from the wall in shock. Pregnant? You dirty whore, it's not possible. Not from me. He was angry, livid actually. He wanted to go over there and smack the smile off her face, tell her all the things he kept bottled inside. Tell her he was gay, that he liked it up the ass, that he thought she was boring. Anything to hurt her. He did not love her, but he had given up everything for her.

Had she wanted a baby so fucking bad that she would cheat to get what she wanted?

"Mihael?" she looked at him with her doe eyes, and though he could have hit her, he kept his calm. For the moment at least.

"That is wonderful." Now was not the time to make a scene. It would be done in private or not at all. "Why did you wait to tell me?" He rubbed a hand over her flat stomach, and she flushed at the touch. How had he not noticed this? When had she done it? What outing...or outings had been a cover?

"I wanted to surprise you." She bit her lip, looking at him coyly.

"You certainly did," he muttered with just a touch of irritation.

"Congratulations, Mihael-" Mr. Jeevas said, clearly a little startled at the news. It fed his assumption that the man knew a bit about the 'Matt' situation.

"You finally gave me a grand-baby. I always knew you could," his mother gave him a quick hug, kissing him on the cheek. He almost felt sorry for her for when she found out, but in part, this was a product of her making. She pushed people too hard, and Mello had no doubt she had worked her voodoo on Samantha as well.

Still, it had been Samantha's choice in the end. Just as it had been his choice to push Matt away. It was a mistake, a grievous error he was going to remedy soon. For now, however, it was time to play the happy husband, eat dinner with his family, and pretend that everything was fine.

.

Her chest rose and fell under the covers as she slept; she was finally in a deep enough sleep that he could slip away. He untangled their limbs and crawled from the bed. He made sure to close the bedroom door securely before he flipped the hall light on.

Retrieving his phone, he sat on the couch and called his lawyer.

.

He had taken anything really important—like his passport, bank cards, his leather, etc—and had loaded it onto the back of his motorcycle in a bag. It wasn't that he didn't plan to return, but he knew that some people got a little crazy with breakups and divorces, and he would rather his things not get burned up if he could easily prevent it.

The lawyer would be giving Samantha a wake-up call sometime soon to deliver the news and ask that when she get the papers to sign them promptly. It was with a light heart that he had filed for divorce the night before.

Regardless of what had happened, it felt freeing, like he could finally be happy. It was almost unbelievable in a way. Like a dream of some sort. It was real though. It would just take a while to kick in. Grinning, he pulled out of the driveway as quietly as one could with a motorcycle.

He wanted to go straight to Matt's, but with how early it was, his visit was certain to be even more unwelcome, so he resigned himself to getting breakfast while he waited for it to turn at least eight. He sat inside a café that opened early, bag in his lap. Rubbing his eyes, yawning a little, he wished he had gotten more sleep. He had been up late with the lawyer and slept on the couch so his alarm would not wake Sam.

Sipping his coffee, Mello watched as the line at the counter got longer and longer as it neared the deadline for travelers to be at work or at least most of the way there. He smirked; at least arriving when he did meant he had not waited.

His phone went off, noticeable only to him and those at the tables around him. "Mihael, what in heaven's name were you thinking?! She is pregnant-"

Mello pulled the phone from his ear, scrunching his face up indignantly as his ear rang. "Mother, hold on a moment," he told her, keeping the phone from his ear as he heard the screech of 'Are you on drugs? Is that it?' It was time to go. He was not having this conversation in front of an audience. Grabbing his bag securely, he left the café and went to sit on the motorcycle.

Sighing heavily, he returned the phone to his ear. "I was in a café and couldn't hear you very well." Which might have been the truth had she not been screaming into the receiver.

"Mihael, you will call that lawyer and tell him you changed your mind. This is not a way to treat your wife after she tells you she's having a baby." His mother's voice was stern, forceful and demanding. But for once he wasn't going to listen.

"It's not mine-" he was cut off, eyes rolling in irritation.

"Oh for the love of— is that what this is about, fear of having a child? So you concoct some fantasy that it is not yours?"

"I'm sterile, mother. So it's not a fantasy. I'll fax you the doctor's results to prove it, so please kindly shut the fuck up for once." With that, he ended the call and placed the phone on vibrate only. He sat there silently for a moment before grinning. "That felt good," he breathed out with a laugh. He couldn't believe he had actually done that, something that had been a long time coming.

Taking a few more breaths, he calmed the almost giddy feeling welling up inside him. Glancing at the phone and knowing that it wouldn't be answered, he called on the off chance that his new found luck would stay. The eighth ring went by, and it hit voice-mail. He had not expected anything more and hoped that if he made enough noise, Matt would answer the door when he got there.

Securing his things again, he rolled off into the traffic, driving leisurely in comparison to his usual speed. There was no need to rush; getting there faster would not make things go any smoother. The cool morning had turned warm, and it was almost stifling by the time he had gotten to the more than familiar apartment.

He was homeless for the moment and probably should have been arranging himself a hotel, but he could not think of a better place to be than standing on Matt's doorstep, ringing the doorbell.

Mello rang it a second time a minute later and planned on doing just that until he was let inside or the cops were called. Which he wouldn't put past Matt to do. He pressed the small button again just as the door flung open, startling him.

"Mello." Matt's hair was damp but not wet, and his shirt had damp patches. He had been in the shower, if the Axe scent was anything to go on. "What is going on? I got a call from my dad a while ago saying that you-"

Mello couldn't hold back any longer, tugging Matt into a kiss as his things crashed to the floor. Matt's arms went around him, holding him close, fingers digging into his skin almost possessively. As though he expected him to pull away. He let himself be dragged into the apartment, roughly kicking his bag inside before Matt shut the door. Nice neighborhood or not, he wasn't chancing it.

Matt broke the kiss halfway to the bedroom. Mello already knew what the next set of word from his mouth would be and knew he didn't want to deal with it right now. Not after he was finally where he belonged. "I filed for divorce. I want you, Matt. More than I have anything before. Can we just leave it at that for now?"

Matt hesitated for a long moment before nodding. There was such a strong desire in Matt's eyes that only served to make him feel guilty for not kissing him when he should have. He was pulled flush against Matt, arms wrapped tight, simply holding him. It was intoxicating to be held like that, to be able to hold him back and know that he was free to do so.

Matt spoke softly into his ear, "I love you."

He shut his eyes, fingers squeezing the fabric of Matt's shirt tightly in his grasp. He knew Matt had wanted him but to hear him say it... things like that never happened in life.

Matt kissed along his ear, the feeling almost ticklish in a way, and down to his neck where the kissing became heavier. He tilted his neck, letting Matt nibble on his flesh, marking him taken. He sneaked his hands under Matt's shirt to feel him up, ran his fingers across Matt's stomach, his ribs, and up his back. He loved the feeling of Matt's skin underneath his nails, imagining the little marks he was leaving behind as he dragged his fingers all over him.

Matt let go of him, yanking his shirt off and tossing it to the side. All of his worries and all the stress from the last few years were quelled as he locked gazes with Matt. He would be alright, even if only for this moment, he could have what he wanted.

They fumbled with their clothing, lips reconnecting in the bedroom after he had been tossed onto the bed, Matt above him, hands in his hair. Gasping into the kiss, Mello arched into the grinding motion started by the eager redhead. He wanted this so fucking bad.

"Fuck foreplay," Matt whispered against his lips. Fingers were hastily pressed into him, sending a sharp burning sensation as they were scissored back and forth. Mello watched Matt's expression darken with lust as he rocked against his fingers, teasingly clenching around the digits. It lasted only a few moments before the fingers were yanked out, his body mourning the loss instantly.

Matt flipped him onto his stomach, swatting his backside gently to get him on his knees. His heart thumped in his throat, cock weeping in desire. He was getting it exactly how he wanted it, by who he wanted it-

His mouth opened in a silent cry, hands braced on the sheets as Matt thrust into him. It was painful, his body fighting the foreign object until a rhythm had been hashed out and he was stretched enough where pain ebbed into pleasure. "You alright?" Matt asked, brushing his hair back.

"Y-yeah." he stumbled over his words as Matt hit just the right spot for toe curling bliss.

Matt laughed breathily, taking hold of Mello's hair in a light grip and tugging his head back to view him. A moan ripped itself from his lips at the quick penetrating thrusts given and the look of absolute adoration in Matt's gaze as he fucked him. The feelings it brought forth in him were powerful, like something clawing its way from the depths of his very being and squeezing his chest.

"Oh god, Matt, fuck yes!" his words were a bit choked from the angle, but it only seemed to add to the appeal as Matt leaned into him harder, leaving no space between them. Matt kissed him. Even in the awkward position it was electrifying, leaving Mello wanting more when they parted.

A hand roamed his chest, pinching a nipple between heated fingers, drawing another moan from him as the hand on his dick made his thighs tremble. A tongue was dragged across his neck, hot and slippery before the bottom set of teeth brushed his skin sending him into a full body shudder.

Matt bit down, and he lost it, screaming out as he spilled across the sheets. He rocked back against Matt as he rode the decrescendo of pleasure, his body still being wonderfully abused behind him. The bite area was kissed at, hands gripping his hips, and he was rammed into until Matt finally hit his peak, a husky groan hitting his ears as cum hit his insides.

A few moments later found Matt collapsed beside him, rolled closer, kissing him heatedly even though his body tingled from the last round. He couldn't seem to get enough. Matt's hands settled at the curve of his ass, stroking the skin there softly and without purpose, making it clear there would be no immediate repeat. The kisses turned comfortable and fleeting until Mello simply lay half draped across the redhead, completely content.

Matt pressed a kiss to his forehead, sighing. "I know you don't want me to ask, but I want to know what changed your mind," he paused with a frown as if weighing something in his mind, "My dad called me this morning to say you had filed for divorce only hours after Sam announced she was pregnant; why?"

Mello groaned into his chest. Even now she was messing with him. He did owe Matt answers, however, and supposed it was time to confess everything. Propping an elbow on the bed and rested his head on the flat of his hand. "I never wanted to marry, especially not a woman. I am one hundred percent gay," he smiled ruefully at Matt, watching the confusion take hold.

"Then why did you?"

"Hush, Matty. You want to know, so let me speak." He shut his eyes for a moment to gather his thoughts. Where the hell to start? Should he say everything now or begin with just the main important parts?

"My mother is not exactly a person you can say no to, and growing up with her I learned to just deal with it, to cave to what she wanted when it became too much of a hassle. That's why when she suggested I get to know Samantha, I did," he slowly opened his eyes, gearing up for the main attraction; the smaller details could be filled in at later time.

"I know for a fact the baby is not mine. It literally can't be. I'm sterile. I just never told them." It felt good to tell Matt, to tell someone other than his mother just to get her off his back. He had no idea what he expected Matt's reaction to be. Whatever it was, silence had not been it.

Matt stared at him for a while, long enough to make him nervous. "You would have stayed with her if it wasn't for that." It was not a question but a statement. One Mello wished he could deny.

"Your family accepts you as you are, so you just don't get it. Mine only see what they want and ignore the rest. I just..." he trailed off and looked down, unable to face Matt's eyes any longer.

"You are a coward," Matt told him coolly. The words made him flinch. He knew it was probably the truth, but hearing it from Matt stung. "But we all make mistakes." Mello looked up sharply to see nothing but devotion in Matt's gaze. It was instant forgiveness. Matt caressed his cheek, thumbing a strand of hair off to the side.

He closed his eyes and leaned into the offered kiss. It was all he had ever wanted, everything he had never dreamed of getting.

And for the first time, Mello was happy.

-End Part 4-
- 8
- 9
- 10
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For the Sake of Being Normal